The Spark: Haraldur Thorleifsson on Impulsive Adventures, Inner Critics & Dream Guests

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Creative Boom Podcast – "The Spark: Haraldur Thorleifsson on Impulsive Adventures, Inner Critics & Dream Guests"

Host: Katy Cowan
Guest: Haraldur “Harley” Thorleifsson
Date: October 22, 2025

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Episode Overview

In this warm, insightful episode of The Creative Boom Podcast, host Katy Cowan chats with entrepreneur and creative leader Haraldur Thorleifsson (aka Harley). The conversation centers on the personal realities behind creative success: facing inner critics, building rituals for resilience, learning to let go, and the highs and lows that color a creative life. The format is light-hearted but honest, with reflective questions, memorable anecdotes, and Harley’s candid takes on ambition, failure, and empathy.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. When Have You Felt Out of Your Depth?

[00:42]

• Harley shares the story of building a restaurant in memory of his mother—a deeply personal yet ultimately overwhelming project.
  • He admits to pushing on “for longer than I should” out of a sense of not wanting to give up (01:23).
  • Key Lesson: “There’s nothing wrong with things not working out. If you don’t like what you’re doing, you can always quit.” (01:58, Harley)
  • Although it was a relief to stop, he later found new value in the space when a Michelin-starred chef opened a new restaurant there.

2. Non-Negotiables in Creative Work

[02:53]

• Harley’s “hill to die on”: Creative work should make people feel something—it’s not enough for it to just function.
  • “I think that if you’re making something, it should make people feel some way.” (02:56, Harley)
  • He emphasizes that knowing the feeling you want to evoke helps make decisions easier during the creative process (03:36).

3. Bringing Yourself Into Your Work

[04:18]

• Conversation turns to Katy’s own introspection—she shares AI’s (brutally honest) advice to be more outspoken and personal:
  • “It said that I hadn’t quite discovered yet this thing that I had, and I wasn’t exploiting it enough... not be so polished and professional... just be a bit more feisty and opinionated...” (04:38, Katy)
• Both reflect on moving away from people-pleasing and embracing authenticity, even if it means not pleasing everyone (05:19–05:37).

4. Personal Rituals for a Better Day

[06:02]

• Harley discusses his twice-daily meditation routine (20 minutes each), describing it as both challenging and transformative:
  • “When I do it, it really makes my life and my day better... it just calms me down and makes me so much more resilient for whatever comes my way.” (06:22, Harley)
  • He favors transcendental meditation as a simple, app-free approach (06:47).

5. Impulsive Adventures While Traveling

[08:06]

• Harley recounts an impulsive trip across Iran, initially intending to stay in Tehran but spontaneously choosing to explore the country:
  • “Everything we did during that week or 10 days was just winging it... but it was amazing.” (08:27, Harley)
  • Profound takeaway: “There’s kindness everywhere... you find that [people] have the same aspirations, the same needs, the same longings.” (09:17–09:45, Harley)

6. Believing in Something (Even If Not Real)

[10:05]

• Harley reflects on the comfort of religious belief he once had, and how he now envies those who maintain faith:
  • “I really envy people who do. I think it is something that can help people through a lot of hard times, and not having that can be extremely hard.” (10:53, Harley)
• Katy shares her own journey from Catholicism to finding peace in the idea of a finite, peaceful end, urging others to make the most of their time. (10:58–11:30)

7. The Voice of the Inner Critic

[12:01]

• Harley’s inner critic is informed by childhood memories of feeling different (disability, using a wheelchair) and is “an amalgam... shrieks in my head that I can almost hear.” (12:01, Harley)
  • “Even still now, with being almost 50 and having done and accomplished a fair amount of things, there’s still these voices... saying, ‘that’s not good enough.’” (12:51, Harley)
• Katy quips about her own inner critic: “I talk back to mine, I say, ‘Shut up, you know nothing.’” (13:20, Katy)

8. Dream Dinner Guest

[13:38]

• Harley chooses musician Nick Cave:
  • He admires Cave’s “endless wisdom” and the way he’s transformed pain and loss into something beautiful and compassionate (13:38–14:18).
  • “He’s sort of a no-bullshit but still kind person.” (14:26, Harley)

9. What’s on Your Phone?

[14:50]

• Harley’s latest photo: “It’s a screenshot of a tweet... a nun that’s playing a tenth,” with the caption “forgive me, Father, for I have sent.” (15:00–15:24)
• Laughter as an essential part of daily life—“I try to [laugh a lot].” (15:32, Harley)

10. New Podcast: Let’s Walk

[15:38]

• Harley talks about his new podcast, inspired by increased mobility from a new wheelchair:
  • “I started doing long walks with creative people... it has been just really enjoyable.” (15:38–16:12, Harley)

11. The Book That Changed You

[17:06]

• Harley’s pick: The Lionheart Brothers by Astrid Lindgren, a childhood favorite read by his father.
  • “The thing that always brings tears to my eyes is kindness... I think it maybe even started in that book...” (17:39–18:34, Harley)

12. A Question for the Next Guest

[18:42]

• Harley’s favorite to ask: “How do you want to die?” and what that answer reveals about living:
  • “It’s good to have an ideal death in mind... is the life you’re living now the one you want to have lived when you’re on your last breath?” (18:55, Harley)
  • He reflects on how pondering mortality helps focus on what matters (19:29–20:01).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On letting go:

  “There’s nothing wrong with things not working out. If you don’t like what you’re doing, you can always quit.” (01:58, Haraldur)

• On creative intent:

  “If you’re making something, it should make people feel some way... How does it make you feel?” (02:56, Haraldur)

• On inner critics:

  “There’s still these voices in my head that are... pointing at it and saying, ‘that’s not good enough.’” (12:51, Haraldur)

• On kindness and empathy:

  “There’s kindness everywhere.” (09:17, Haraldur) “The thing that always brings tears to my eyes is kindness.” (17:39, Haraldur)

• On mortality and meaning:

  “Is the life you’re living now the one you want to have lived when you’re on your last breath?” (18:55, Haraldur)

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Important Timestamps

• [00:42] Feeling out of depth—building and closing a restaurant
• [02:53] Creative work “hills to die on”
• [04:38] Pushing past people-pleasing; importance of authenticity
• [06:02] Meditation and daily rituals
• [08:06] Impulsive trip through Iran and lessons on human nature
• [10:05] On religion, comfort, and making the most of life
• [12:01] The nature and origins of Harley’s inner critic
• [13:38] Dream dinner guest: Nick Cave
• [15:38] New podcast: Let’s Walk
• [17:06] The book that changed him: The Lionheart Brothers
• [18:42] “How do you want to die?”—perspectives on mortality and life priorities

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Tone & Style

The conversation is authentic, friendly, and often humorous, mixing deep insights about vulnerability and creativity with light-hearted moments. Both Katy and Harley display warmth and honesty, offering practical and philosophical takeaways for any creative professional.

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For more candid creative conversations, visit creativeboom.com.

Transcript

[A]

Foreign.

[B]

I'm back with the wonderful Harley, and we're going to have some fun now. Harley, are you ready for this? I always say this to my guests when we do the. The spark, and they're always look slightly terrified. We start off by asking you a few questions just. Just to sort of get to know you a bit more as a person. And then we finish with a question from the previous guest, and then you will ask a question to the next guest. So that's quite a nice little chain thing that we've got going on. Okay, so let's crack on. When did you last feel completely out your depth and what happened next?

[A]

I built a restaurant, and it had been something that I had wanted to do for a long time. I'd always wanted to create a space, and it was dedicated to my mother, who I lost when I was young. And it was. It was a really ambitious project. And then as we were building it, I kind of realized that I had made a mistake. You know, we were really far. I really liked enjoying it. I really liked creating the concept, but the building process was really tough. And then actually running a restaurant is a nightmare. I pushed on and I pushed on for longer than I should. And it was one of those things because I've always felt that I. I sort of defined myself by not giving up. And so I just kept going, even though I wasn't enjoying it, even though I wasn't able to spend the time that it needed for me to make it work. And so it was ultimately, I gave up and I closed. And it was a huge relief and a huge sort of lesson for me in learning about myself and realizing, you know, there's nothing wrong with things not working out. If you don't like what you're doing, you can always quit.

[B]

Yeah, exactly. And I wouldn't say it was giving up. I'd say it's just recognizing it wasn't for you.

[A]

Yeah. You know, whatever you called it. And it turned. You know, eventually it turned into a blessing. There was a. You know, I still own the space, and there was this wonderful chef who came in and he wanted to build his own restaurant, and I was able to provide that for him. And he's a Michelin star chef, and he built this wonderful place, and that now is across the street from me, and I can go there every time I want.

[B]

That's amazing. Is there always a seat for you at the table or, you know, overlooking?

[A]

I don't have a. I don't have. I don't have a seat for me. But they've never turned me to turn me down.

[B]

That's great. That's lovely. What's a hill you die on when it comes to creative work?

[A]

Die on is a stretch, but in sort of the metaphor of it, I would definitely say that I think that if you're making something, it should make people feel some way. I don't think it's enough to make something that works. I think it's very important when you're. Whatever it is that you're making that you start with or include, at least in your process, how you want someone to feel when they use it. And that's something I try and put into. Everything I do is definitely trying to figure out how it works. But then maybe even more importantly is, how does it make you feel?

[B]

Yeah, that's a hard thing to do, though.

[A]

It is a hard thing to do, but it's also, I think once you get into the habit of that and once you have that sort of solidified, I think it actually makes things a lot easier because it makes it easier for you to make decisions along the way because you know what you're trying to accomplish.

[B]

Fair enough. Sounds good. I'm just now sat here thinking, how can I make that happen with creative boom and all the other things I do? Yeah, it's not an easy thing to.

[A]

Get to, but I think you probably have it. Maybe it's not as top of mind, but having seen some of the things you do, I think I'm pretty sure it's there. Maybe you haven't articulated it.

[B]

Yes. Maybe I need to sort of lean into it a bit more. This is what AI told me the other day. Harley said there was a prompt going around that got you to put it in and say, what am I not doing enough of where am I going wrong? And it was brutal.

[A]

Was it fair?

[B]

It was very fair, actually. It said that I hadn't quite discovered yet this thing that I had, and I wasn't exploiting it enough. I wasn't realizing its power. And I had to bring myself to the forefront a bit more and be a bit more outspoken and not be so polished and professional, which is kind of my journalism background creeping in. Just be a bit more kind of feisty and opinionated and, you know, screw it if I don't bring in everyone along with me, which is hugely putting myself out of my comfort zone, because I've always been. It's not about me, it's about who I'm interviewing. Do you know what I mean? That's the journalist in Me?

[A]

Are you a people pleaser?

[B]

I'm a girl. Come on. Of course I am. But it's been left behind a little bit as I get older, know, starting to get angry. Going through the angry Perry Perry menopause phase where I'm like, what am I doing? Why am I trying to, like, be everybody's friend?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Do you know what I mean?

[A]

That's an important lesson that, you know, sometimes you have to let some people down to be who you are.

[B]

I'm not quite ready to embrace that yet, Harley.

[A]

Well, let's work on it.

[B]

Oh, gosh. Is this good? Should we do a weekly check in? Yeah, it's tough, you know. So what is a small ritual or habit that makes your day better?

[A]

I try and meditate twice a day, and it's surprisingly hard. You know, it's very easy to waste time. And sometimes I feel like I have a lot of time and then. But finding those 20 minutes, because I try and do 20 minutes twice a day, it's Is really hard. But when I do it, it really makes my life and my day better. And so I try to do it once in the morning and then once before I go to bed, and it just calms me down and it makes me so much more resilient for whatever comes my way through the day.

[B]

Do you have any tricks, tips for meditating?

[A]

I do sort of version. Mostly. It's sort of a transcendental meditation. So, you know, if anyone wants to read up about that, it's a very simple technique and you can do it anywhere, so it's not complicated. You don't need an app. There's nothing really you need, except just maybe a quiet room.

[B]

I do the classic imagine a train going in one ear and out the other with lots of compartments carrying all of my thoughts. And it doesn't. It doesn't work most of the time, but, you know, I'll keep trying.

[A]

Yeah, I mean. Yeah, I mean, it doesn't. Definitely doesn't work all the time for me either. It's. There's, you know, there's days even, you know, when I do it when it. Or weeks when I feel like I'm not getting there. But then there's weeks when it. When it clicks and it. And I feel at peace.

[B]

Yeah, I have that with when I do the ironing, you get that kind of focus.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And my mind just goes blank. And I realize, actually after doing the ironing, I feel amazing. Does that count?

[A]

Whatever works.

[B]

Yeah, it's. Whatever works. Okay. What's the most impulsive thing you've ever done while traveling.

[A]

I went to Iran once and we landed in Tehran, and the plan was to stay in Tehran for, I think, two weeks, which was, you know, a big enough leaf. But we realized very quickly, I think, after a night or two, that it wasn't. It's a very, very hectic city, and it wasn't what, you know, I didn't want to spend more time there. So the impulsive thing is we went and found some guy somehow who drove us across country, and he was sort of. He went. We went through Shiraz and Isfahan and went to Persepolis. And it was just this, you know, slightly, you know, it was just a very, very enjoyable trip. And it was. Yeah, it was all spur of the moment. And everything we did during that, I think week or 10 days was just winging it in a city that. Or in a. In a. In a country where we didn't speak the language and there was. There was nobody. We hardly saw any tourists. And it was. But it was amazing.

[B]

You feel alive.

[A]

Definitely. Yeah. And. And you realize, you know. You know, I think with. With places like Iran that have been in the news for a long time, and sometimes I think you can start to imagine that the people there are somehow different than people elsewhere. But, you know, obviously find that they're the same, that it's the same. They have the same aspirations, they have the same needs, they have the same longings. And there's kindness everywhere.

[B]

There is kindness everywhere. Thank you for linking it back to the theme of our chat. People are not defined by their leaders. Definitely.

[A]

No, definitely not.

[B]

It's a good reminder. What's something you'd love to believe in even if it's not real? Is it Santa Claus?

[A]

Yeah. I mean, I think there's a lot of things that. A lot of stories that are nice, but for me, it's even more fundamental, I think, because I. And obviously real is different to people, but I. My mom was believed in sort of a benevolent God, and I think it gave her a lot of comfort, and I did as a kid, and it definitely helped me through hard times, but I don't have that faith anymore. I don't believe in higher power in that sense, but I really envy people who do. I think it is something that can help people through a lot of hard times, and not having that can be extremely hard.

[B]

Whereas I think, yeah, I grew up Catholic, and I agree with you, I found comfort in it as a child, but now I'm a non believer and I find comfort in the fact that when this is. I mean, I may be completely wrong, but when it's the end, it's just dark and peaceful and that's the way I see it. And so whilst we're here, even though there can be a lot of suffering, we've got to make the most of it because we're so. It's so incredibly crazy that we're even here in the first place, you know?

[A]

Yeah, definitely. That's the side of it that I look at as well. But, you know, when things are hard, it would be nice to believe that there was.

[B]

You can believe. You can go back to church.

[A]

I can't.

[B]

No, I agree.

[A]

It doesn't. Yeah, I can't. That's a switch that I can't switch on logically.

[B]

Yeah. If your inner critic had a voice and a name, this is an interesting one. What would it sound like?

[A]

My inner critic had a name. I think it would just. I mean, it is. It's sort of an amalgam. It's. It's because I was a kid who had a disability. I started using a wheelchair when I was 25 and I had a walk that was different to other people. And so I was always afraid of someone sort of pointing at me or laughing at me or making fun of me. So there's definitely these voices in my head that always. As I'm, you know, even still now with, you know, being almost 50 and having done and accomplished a fair amount of things, there's still these voices in my head that are, you know, as I'm working on something that are just pointing at it and sort of saying, like, that's not good enough. And so, yeah, I'm not sure what. What name I would give it, but it definitely. It has sort of these shrieks in my head that I. I can sort of almost hear.

[B]

I hope it's not Cartman.

[A]

I. No, it's not Cartman. I think Cartman is quite funny, although he can be a bit of a dick.

[B]

Yeah, we all have the voices. We should, you know, just. I talk back to mine as I shut her. Shut up. You know, nothing. Well, you're gonna have a dinner now, and you're welcome to invite any guest, dead or alive. Who would that be? Dream dinner guest?

[A]

Nick Cave. Nick Cave would definitely be on the list. I think he is. I mean, apart from his music, I've just really enjoyed. He has gone through a lot of personal loss. He lost two of his sons, and he's turned that son sadness and pain into something really beautiful. He writes and has a community of people who have lost. And I went to see him. He came to Iceland last year and I went to see him. And just the tranquility of him. I feel like there was endless wisdom flowing out of him. So I think I would want to spend more time with him.

[B]

That's lovely. I've never had a Nick Cave as a dream dinner guest. Yeah. So that's good. Yeah. He would be nice to see.

[A]

Yeah, I think so. You know, I think he's sort of a no bullshit, but still kind person.

[B]

Well, this is the thing with loss and with hardship. It does kind of. It kind of give you that gift of empathy and compassion and kindness.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay, I need you to open up your phone and tell me what's the most recent photo on there?

[A]

What is the most recent photo on my phone? Hold on.

[B]

And I hope it's not something you only send to your wife.

[A]

No, actually it's. It's a screenshot of a tweet that I sent to a friend of mine last night. He is a musician. He makes a lot of electronic music. And it's. It's a nun that's playing a tenth.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And the. The caption is forgive me, Father, for I have sent.

[B]

Humor is a wonderful gift, isn't it? Do you laugh a lot? I can imagine you do.

[A]

Yeah, I try to, yeah.

[B]

You've started a lovely podcast as well, haven't you, recently Walk with Me.

[A]

Yeah, it's called let's Walk. And it's. I recently got a new wheelchair and it has made my life very different to what it was before. It's. I'm much more mobile, but it's also. It is trick. And I can raise myself to be at eye level with people. And so I started doing long walks with creative people. And it has been just really enjoyable. It started in Iceland and recently launched it in English as well.

[B]

That's fantastic. An all terrain vehicle. I know the one. When my friend Paul got his, he wanted us to get some. A fog machine so that he could. When he raised it up, he could just sort of go like that, like a God.

[A]

That's a good idea. I'll take that.

[B]

Bless him. Yeah, he is funny. Okay, so now we have a question from our previous guest, who was Paul Benny, founder of. Co founder of the Magazine Jockey Slut and now Disco Pogo. And he was also one of the founders of Bugged out, which is a very popular club night here in the uk. He wanted to know what was the first book that you read that you really felt changed you as a person.

[A]

Yeah. I don't have to think about this one because it's a very clear memory. It was. My dad read it to me and we had. He would read to me before I went to sleep. And this was the first book I remember just really seeing me. It was a book called the Lionheart Brothers, I think it's called in English. It's by Astrid Lindgren. It's a tale of two brothers who. This is not a spoiler because they die in kind of the beginning and they go to another place and they have to overcome a lot of obstacles. And I think it's a pretty transform. I've noticed this when I'm reading or watching a movie or something or seeing it in real life. Is that the thing that always brings tears to my eyes is kindness. And I think it maybe even started in that book because his. There's a younger brother who is sick and. And is going through a lot. And then there's an older brother who is sort of the. The protector of the two. And they. He just helps and guides him through all these different things. And the younger brother feels like a hero by the end. And. And then. And it just. Yeah, it's a beautiful little book. It's a children's book, but I think it's really, really powerful.

[B]

That sounds great. I might have to give that a listen or a read. Now you have to think of a question for our next guest, Holly.

[A]

Yeah, it's a question I actually ask people a lot. It's a little bit morbid, but I ask people how they want to die. And I think it's important for us to remember that we are going to die. And I think it's. It's good to have an ideal death in mind and think about why that's how we want to die. And it often leads to people sort of wondering what are the last things they would do before they die, which then maybe changes the way they live their life now. It's the life you're living now, the one you want to have lived when you're on your last breath.

[B]

It's a very powerful question, and I'll put it to our next guest. Is this something that you have faced yourself on many occasions?

[A]

I have definitely pondered the question, yes. And, yeah, I've thought about it a lot, and I think it's informed how I live my life because I've thought about those last moments a lot. And I want to make sure that to our earlier conversation of I don't believe in a second life. I don't believe that there's more after this, so I want to make sure that by the end that I've done everything that I wanted to do in the way that I intended to do it.

[B]

Well, thank you so much for your time, Halle. It's been really lovely getting to know you.

[A]

Thank you so much. Katie.

[B]

Thanks for listening to the Creative Dream podcast this week. And thanks to Halle Forlason for being this week's guest. If you enjoyed this episode, please do share it with your friends and leave us a review Share it really helps us out. We'll be back on Monday with another guest. Until then, have a great weekend.