Podcast Summary: "Is the Swipe Era Over?"
The Daily – The New York Times
Aired: February 22, 2026
Host: Rachel Abrams
Guests: Gina Cherelus (NYT Dating Columnist), Luke Van Der Plug (Daily Producer), Amanda Hess (Writer-at-Large)
Overview
This episode of The Daily explores whether the era of swipe-based dating apps—championed by platforms like Tinder—is coming to a close. Host Rachel Abrams, alongside colleagues Gina Cherelus, Luke Van Der Plug, and Amanda Hess, investigate the fatigue with dating apps, creative new ways singles are meeting offline, and the next frontier: AI-powered matchmaking. In a mix of field reports, analysis, and firsthand event experiences, the episode dives into how technology and human yearning intersect in a world where many are searching for more authentic and effective paths to connection.
1. The Legacy and Limits of Swiping
00:30 – 08:22
The Birth of the Swipe (Tinder’s Origin)
- Rachel Abrams recounts how Tinder’s swipe mechanic emerged from founder Jonathan Badeen’s foggy bathroom mirror in 2012, revolutionizing dating by reducing it to a simple left or right swipe.
- “We have boiled down the grand alchemy of human emotion and falling in love to like a few seconds on somebody’s profile and saying yes or no about whether this person could be your future partner.” — Rachel Abrams (03:03)
Current Frustrations and Fatigue
- Gina Cherelus, NYT Dating Columnist, discusses:
- Widespread fatigue with dating apps—rising costs, algorithm suspicion, safety concerns, and feeling manipulated to keep swiping.
- "Dating app fatigue is at an all time high, I'd argue, right now." — Gina Cherelus (03:28)
- Apps are seen more as businesses than matchmakers.
- Online dating has reduced “rejection resilience,” making real-life approaches harder and further contributing to loneliness.
The Two Paths Forward
- “People are falling into two camps”: those going offline (seeking ‘analog’ connections) and those who pin their hopes on technological improvements and AI (05:34).
- Digital mediation has changed the way people approach, communicate, and even read nonverbal cues in dating.
2. Escaping the Apps: Singles Seek Real Human Connection
09:27 – 25:17
Wrestling for Love: Gen Z’s Tactile Experiment
09:27 – 17:00
- Luke Van Der Plug reports from a “singles wrestling mixer” for 18-24-year-olds in Brooklyn—a direct answer to digital fatigue.
- “Hinge is an evil entity.” — Event attendee (12:09)
- Atmosphere described as energetic, playful, performance meets athleticism, departing from traditional ‘awkward’ singles events.
- Wrestling becomes a bold icebreaker, quickly breaking down physical barriers and fast-tracking intimacy.
- Some couples connected: “He actually knew jiu jitsu, so he was like, I can teach you some moves.” — Attendee (16:06)
- At least one pair exchanged numbers and left as a new couple.
The Price of Romance: The Wine Mixer
17:01 – 25:17
- Wine Mixer in Bed-Stuy: $100 tickets for women, free for men—highlighting gender disparities in event attendance.
- Host: Amari Collins curates a playful, confessional environment to encourage openness.
- Demographics: Late twenties to early forties, mainly heterosexual, with a man-to-woman ratio of 1:3.
- Millennial burnout on apps: “As someone in their 30s...I’m tired to where maybe I just don’t have the spark on the dating apps.” — Belle Levy (20:23)
- Many attendees cite the exhaustion of curating their personalities online vs. the ease of authentic expression in person.
- Men see apps as too “first-impression” focused and miss opportunities for connections that require more time to develop.
- Event ends with a “crush” matching game—matched pairs kiss in front of the group, showing willingness for real vulnerability.
- “Zero hesitation. Best night ever.” — Attendee, post-makeout (24:22)
Takeaways from Singles’ Events
- Luke Van Der Plug, initially skeptical, leaves with renewed hope: “I walked away from each of these events with, you know, a tentatively positive feeling.” (25:05)
- The hunger for in-person, tangible connection is vivid amid “the hellscape of dating.”
3. The AI Awakening: Future Frontiers in Matchmaking
26:06 – 35:54
At the Love Symposium: Can AI Fix Dating?
- Amanda Hess investigates how tech entrepreneurs, researchers, and startups are seeking to “optimize human relationships for human mating” (26:42), trying to fix what’s broken with more technology.
Demos & Dilemmas
- “What if we could solve the problems with the technology, with more technology, better technology that can find you a more specific match than the endless scroll of apps?” — Amanda Hess (27:22)
- Amanda tests Dataing, an AI-driven app that analyzes phone photos and data for matches.
- App lacks users and complexity; her first match is an employee of the app living on another continent.
- Other startups analyze your text histories to identify the precise moment “the vibe shifted” in past relationships—trading privacy for possibly deeper insight, though perhaps more for self-knowledge than matching.
- The AI “dream” is automating the screening process: letting bots either date for you or pick real-world matches faster—potentially freeing users from endless swiping.
Avatars and Automated Chemistry
- Concepts like AI avatars dating on your behalf, or tech that subtly orchestrates romantic moments in real spaces by controlling the environment (lighting up the ‘right’ person in a bar).
- Rachel Abrams voices skepticism: “I really have a hard time imagining that it’s gonna help with the thing that is that elusive, like chemistry.” (34:02)
- Amanda Hess agrees: while AI could “marginally improve the experience,” the actual magic—chemistry—remains intangible.
Techies Craving the Human Touch (and Actual Wrestling)
- Even the most ardent tech advocates ultimately crave in-person contact: “As the Love Symposium wore on, a group of people...ended up taking their shirts off and wrestling in one of the rooms.” — Amanda Hess (35:37)
- The point: Event organizers and users alike long for real-life interaction, suggesting that even futuristic solutions can’t replace physical, social reality.
4. Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- “Dating app fatigue is at an all time high, I’d argue right now.” — Gina Cherelus (03:28)
- “Hinge is an evil entity.” — Event Attendee (12:09)
- “I just don’t have the energy to portray that to my 400 matches on Hinge. But if I meet someone in person, that spark is going to come naturally.” — Belle Levy (21:00)
- “Optimizing human relationships for human mating. What could sound more romantic?” — Rachel Abrams (27:06)
- “The first match that I got was a guy who lives on a different continent and also works for the app, which I think is indicative.” — Amanda Hess (29:33)
- “I think if you don’t think about it in terms of solving human relationships, but instead think about it as maybe marginally improving the experience...it can sound a lot more interesting if you are sick of swiping.” — Amanda Hess (34:09)
- “[Even in tech,] as the Love Symposium wore on...a group of people...ended up taking their shirts off and wrestling in one of the rooms.” — Amanda Hess (35:37)
5. Key Timestamps
- 00:30 – 08:22: The origins and discontent of the swipe era; Gina Cherelus discusses dating app pitfalls.
- 09:27 – 17:00: Wrestling singles’ event; Gen Z’s approach to ditching apps.
- 17:01 – 25:17: Bed-Stuy wine mixer; millennial burnout and in-person event dynamics.
- 26:06 – 35:54: Amanda Hess unpacks AI matchmaking, Love Symposium insights, and the limits of technology in finding love.
- 35:37 – 36:07: Even tech event devolves into in-person connection (wrestling), underscoring human needs.
Conclusion
The episode uncovers a dating landscape in flux: growing weariness with swiping, blossoming creativity in offline singles events, and the new hope (and wariness) around AI dating technology. Ultimately, even as apps and algorithms try to engineer romance, the mystery of real-life chemistry—and the drive to simply be together—remains beyond the reach of code. In a moment of existential examination, both techies and romantics appear united by a shared longing for genuine connection.
Summary produced in the spirit and tone of The Daily, emphasizing wit, warmth, and clarity.