Podcast Summary: The Daily – ‘Modern Love’: How to Fall (and Stay) in Love

Introduction

In the May 18, 2025 episode of The Daily, hosted by Michael Barbaro, The New York Times delves into the intricacies of falling and staying in love through the lens of the beloved Modern Love series. This episode intertwines listener-submitted love stories, expert insights from Daniel Jones, the editor of Modern Love, and a heartfelt update from Mandy Len Catron, author of the iconic essay “To Fall in Love with Anyone, Do This.”

Exploring Moments of Falling in Love

Timestamp: [00:25] – [09:31]

Michael and co-host Hannah introduce the collaboration with Modern Love, emphasizing the human quest for meaning in relationships beyond daily news coverage. They transition into sharing poignant listener stories that capture the myriad ways people recognize they are falling in love.

Highlighted Listener Stories:

1. Nick and Ebony – Instant Connection on a Date

   • Timestamp: [02:31]
   • Nick recounts walking home from a dinner and movie date, witnessing Ebony’s playful side as they “jumped into the freezing waves like absolute children” and shared hot chocolate under a starry sky. The culmination was a spontaneous kiss that left Nick feeling “in trouble” and irrevocably in love.
   • Quote: “I couldn’t stop thinking about her. I felt physically sick without him. I felt that there was no air for me to breathe.” ([03:37])

2. A Young Love Story

   • Timestamp: [05:11] – [08:50]
   • Listener 2 describes a series of romantic moments, from an all-you-can-eat cheese and chocolate buffet to serene walks at sunrise, culminating in the realization, “I felt like I was home.” These experiences underscore the blend of excitement and deep comfort that signifies true love.
   • Quote: “It feels good.” ([06:06])

3. Mature Love Across Decades

   • Timestamp: [41:21] – [51:30]
   • Listener 1 shares a tender story of falling in love in later life, highlighting profound moments that defy age and celebrate enduring love, such as connecting over shared interests and enduring tragedies together.
   • Quote: “I have never seen a single pair of those fucking scissors in my life. And in that moment, I saw how genuine he was.” ([47:35])

These narratives illustrate the diverse and universal experiences of love, from spontaneous connections to deep, enduring bonds.

Engaging with Modern Love Editor Daniel Jones

Timestamp: [12:23] – [20:18]

Michael welcomes Daniel Jones, the Modern Love editor, to discuss the nature of falling in love and the foundational moments that spark lasting relationships. Daniel shares personal anecdotes and insights into the evolution of love stories within the series.

Key Discussion Points:

• Personal Moments of Love:

  • Daniel recounts falling in love not through a moment with a person, but instantly with a dog he was fostering, illustrating that love can transcend human relationships.
  • Quote: “Like, no. Like, no, this is our dog.” ([12:40])

• The Impact of Mandy Len Catron’s Essay:

  • Daniel reflects on the widespread influence of Mandy’s essay “To Fall in Love with Anyone, Do This,” explaining how the 36 questions have become a global phenomenon aiding countless relationships.
  • Quote: “It changed millions of lives. And there's no downside to asking people these questions and answering them.” ([17:08])

• Understanding Love Through Questions:

  • The conversation delves into how the 36 questions facilitate vulnerability and deep connection, essential for meaningful relationships.
  • Quote: “It's those things, but it's a lot more than that. It takes you all over the place to all corners of yourself and the other person.” ([19:08])

Mandy Len Catron’s Journey: From Falling in Love to Lasting Commitment

Timestamp: [22:02] – [38:17]

Following the break, Mandy Len Catron joins the episode to revisit her renowned essay and provide an update on her decade-long relationship with Mark, the subject of her original piece.

Highlights of Mandy’s Story:

• Creation of the 36 Questions:

  • Mandy explains how she encountered Arthur Aron’s study and adapted the 36 questions to foster intimacy with Mark, leading to their deepening relationship.
  • Quote: “The study did give us a way into a relationship that feels deliberate.” ([15:42])

• Real-Life Impact and Global Resonance:

  • She shares how her essay inspired global audiences, resulting in marriages and long-term relationships formed through the 36 questions.
  • Quote: “Simple even, to generate trust and intimacy, the feelings love needs to thrive.” ([17:36])

• Personal Reflections and Marriage:

  • Mandy reveals her initial reservations about marriage and how proposing to Mark during challenging times solidified their commitment.
  • Quote: “Love didn't happen to us. We're in love because we each made the choice to be.” ([33:30])

• Enduring Commitment:

  • Reflecting on a decade together, Mandy underscores the strength and resilience of their relationship, emphasizing trust and open-heartedness.
  • Quote: “We're in love because we each made the choice to be.” ([20:03])

Additional Listener Stories: Diverse Paths to Love

Timestamp: [39:52] – [53:58]

The episode continues with a rich tapestry of listener-submitted stories, each unique in showcasing how individuals recognize and nurture love.

1. Love in the Face of Loss:

   • A listener shares falling in love after the loss of a loved one, highlighting how shared grief can deepen connections.
   • Quote: “I have great memories that a lot of other people don't.” ([41:17])

2. Immediate Connection:

   • Stories of instant attraction and deep bonds formed in unexpected settings, such as during a subway ride or at a workplace.
   • Quote: “It felt very romantic to me.” ([42:44])

3. Enduring Love Through Challenges:

   • Narratives of enduring love that weather personal and global challenges, reinforcing the theme of committed relationships.
   • Quote: “Life was going to be interesting.” ([47:54])

These stories collectively emphasize that love manifests in myriad forms, influenced by personal experiences and circumstances.

Conclusion: The Essence of Love

Timestamp: [44:00] – [53:58]

Michael wraps up the episode by reflecting on the shared stories and insights, reinforcing the notion that love is both an action and a choice. The culmination of listener stories, expert insights, and Mandy’s personal journey provides a comprehensive exploration of how love begins and endures.

Final Thoughts:

• Love as a Deliberate Choice:

  • The episode emphasizes that love is not merely a feeling but a series of intentional actions and choices that nurture and sustain relationships.
  • Quote: “We're in love because we each made the choice to be.” ([33:30])

• The Power of Vulnerability:

  • Opening up and embracing vulnerability are highlighted as essential components for deep and lasting connections.
  • Quote: “What it means to bother to know someone, which is really a story about what it Means to be known.” ([24:04])

• Celebrating Love’s Diversity:

  • By showcasing diverse love stories, the episode celebrates the universal yet unique nature of love, encouraging listeners to embrace their own paths to connection.

Closing Remarks

Michael Barbaro concludes the episode by inviting listeners to read Mandy’s full essay through the provided show notes and to continue engaging with Modern Love by sharing their own stories. The episode leaves listeners with a profound appreciation for the multifaceted nature of love and the beautiful unpredictability that accompanies it.

Notable Quotes:

• “Love is an action. It assumes that what matters to my partner matters to me.” ([33:22])
• “It really did feel like puzzle pieces falling into place.” ([08:59])
• “I saw how genuine he was.” ([47:35])

Production Credits

This episode of Modern Love was produced by Davis Land and Sarah Curtis, edited by Executive Producer Jen Poyant, with production management by Christina Josa. Theme music composed by Dan Powell, with original music by Daniel Ramirez and others. Special thanks to Mihima Chablani, Nell Galogly, Jeffrey Miranda, and Paula Schumann. For more information or to submit your own Modern Love story, refer to the show notes.