The Year in Wisdom

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Daily – "The Year in Wisdom"

Release Date: December 31, 2024
Host: Melissa Kirsch, Deputy Editor of Culture and Lifestyle, The New York Times

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Introduction

In the final episode of 2024, "The Daily" host Melissa Kirsch engages with esteemed New York Times colleagues to reflect on the year's most impactful advice for living better. Titled "The Year in Wisdom," the episode delves into diverse perspectives on personal growth, relationships, wellness, and the collective wisdom shared by listeners throughout the year.

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Insights from Philip Galanis: Mastering the Art of Giving Advice

Time Stamps: [00:35] – [07:38]

Philip Galanis, the longtime writer behind the Times’ advice column Social Cues, shares his philosophy on providing effective guidance. He emphasizes that excellent advice stems not from expertise but from deep listening and empathy.

• Listening Over Expertise: Galanis asserts, “The mark of really great advice is listening so closely that you're almost the same person with the person who is asking for the advice” ([03:15]). He believes that understanding the individual's unique situation allows for tailored guidance that resonates personally.

• Quality Over Quantity: He discusses the broad spectrum of questions he addresses, ranging from parenting and marriage to workplace dynamics and family finances ([01:55]). Despite the diversity, his approach remains consistent—facilitating the querent's journey toward their own solutions.

• New Year’s Resolutions Reimagined: Galanis critiques traditional resolutions, advocating for more joyful and meaningful goals. He suggests, “If we could incorporate some more joy into our resolutions and less drudge, then they would... deepen a friendship or find somebody... that’s a good one” ([05:11]). His vision encourages resolutions that enhance happiness rather than impose restrictive self-discipline.

• Advice for 2025: Galanis concludes with a poignant recommendation: “Let's make 2025 the year of listening. Less talking, more listening” ([07:22]). He highlights the profound impact that attentive listening can have on personal and communal relationships.

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Wellness Wisdom with Jancy Dunn: Practical Health Tips

Time Stamps: [07:53] – [14:53]

Jancy Dunn, known for her weekly wellness column, collaborates with Melissa Kirsch to share the most valuable health advice gathered in 2024. Her insights span emotional well-being, dental health, and the importance of decluttering.

• Reconnecting with Mentors: Dunn recommends reaching out to past mentors to combat loneliness. Sharing a personal anecdote, she mentions contacting her fourth-grade teacher, which led to a fulfilling reconnection ([08:24] – [09:58]).

• Dental Health Tip – Avoid Chewing Ice: Highlighting advice from professionals, Dunn emphasizes, “Don't chew ice” ([10:36]). She explains how this habit can cause irreversible damage to tooth enamel, potentially leading to costly dental procedures ([10:50]).

• Decluttering Life: Addressing the common struggle with disorganized spaces, Dunn advises, “Let it out” ([11:39]). She suggests a systematic approach to decluttering, such as separating items into piles and responsibly disposing of electronic waste ([12:03]).

• Cultivating Moral Beauty: Dunn introduces the concept of moral beauty, inspired by researcher Dacher Keltner. She encourages dedicating 15 minutes daily to recognize acts of kindness, which can significantly enhance one's outlook and counteract cynicism ([12:58] – [14:49]).

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Exploring Love with Dan Jones: Lessons from Modern Love Essays

Time Stamps: [15:00] – [22:43]

Dan Jones, a key figure behind the Times' Modern Love column, reflects on two decades of love stories to distill profound lessons about relationships.

• Enduring vs. Fleeting Love: Jones observes a distinction between individuals who continue to open their hearts despite setbacks and those who shut down after experiencing loss. He posits that openness leads to happiness, while vulnerability followed by closure can result in regret ([16:24] – [17:12]).

• Love as Resilient as a Basketball: Referencing an essay by Dr. Thomas Hooven, Jones contrasts love to a basketball versus a vase. While a vase is delicate and breaks easily, a basketball is durable and can withstand impacts. This metaphor underscores the importance of resilience and the ability to navigate conflicts within relationships ([17:25] – [21:07]).

• Value in Every Relationship: Addressing the prevalence of stories about relationships that don’t last, Jones challenges the notion of failure in ended relationships. He emphasizes that every relationship holds intrinsic value and contributes to personal growth, regardless of its duration ([19:55] – [20:15]).

• Embracing Small Moments: Discussing essays that highlight quiet, intimate moments, Jones underscores the significance of being present. One such story about a father and son sharing daily reflections illustrates how simple rituals can deepen familial bonds and enhance life's meaningfulness ([21:07] – [22:30]).

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Listener Wisdom: Best Advice from Readers

Time Stamps: [23:25] – [34:11]

In a heartwarming segment, listeners from diverse backgrounds share the most impactful advice they received in 2024. Their stories reflect the universal quest for growth, resilience, and connection.

1. Zach Rosen – Embracing Sincerity: Zach from Detroit advises, “When someone says thank you, just say, you're welcome” ([23:31] – [24:17]). He highlights the mutual satisfaction derived from sincere acknowledgment.

2. Dave Brashear – Finding Comfort Post-Loss: Dave from New Orleans shares his therapist's suggestion to involve his dog in the bedroom as a coping mechanism after the loss of his wife, illustrating the therapeutic power of pets ([24:44] – [25:19]).

3. Stan Perry – Celebrating Daily Wins: An attorney from Houston emphasizes maintaining a daily list of personal and professional victories, reinforcing a positive mindset ([26:41] – [27:24]).

4. Gina Luongo – Embracing Simple Beauty: Gina from Toronto discusses the transformative effect of a simple beauty tip, reflecting how small changes can bolster self-confidence ([27:25] – [28:13]).

5. Len Dsessa – Consistency in Relationships: Len from Pennsylvania recounts his therapist's advice, “You can be the safe harbor or you can be the storm, but you cannot be both” ([28:32] – [29:59]). This guidance helped him navigate marital challenges effectively.

6. Tamara from Edinburgh – Avoiding Catastrophizing: Tamara shares the mantra, “Don't borrow trouble” ([30:34] – [31:00]), promoting mental resilience by focusing on present realities instead of future anxieties.

7. Nina Miller – Embracing Imperfection: Nina from Portland highlights that “Practice makes better,” accepting imperfections in her orchestral performances as a path to personal and professional growth ([31:00] – [34:11]).

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Conclusion

"The Year in Wisdom" encapsulates a rich tapestry of advice and reflections from both experts and everyday individuals. From the art of listening and meaningful resolutions to resilient love and practical wellness tips, the episode offers listeners a comprehensive toolkit for personal enrichment in the coming year. As Melissa Kirsch concludes, the shared wisdom serves as a beacon for navigating life's complexities with grace, empathy, and intentionality.

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Notable Quotes:

• Philip Galanis: “The mark of really great advice is listening so closely that you're almost the same person with the person who is asking for the advice.” ([03:15])

• Jancy Dunn: “Don't chew ice ever” ([10:36])

• Dan Jones: “Love is more like a basketball than a vase.” ([17:25])

• Zach Rosen: “When someone says thank you, just say, you're welcome.” ([23:31])

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Transcript

[Michael]

This podcast is supported by the International Rescue Committee. When conflict and disaster strike, the IRC is ready to help families immediately after an emergency occurs and long term with healthcare supplies, clean water and other critical aid. As crises continue in Gaza, Ukraine, Sudan and around the world, the IRC is committed to ensuring families can survive, recover and rebuild their lives. For a limited time, all donations are doubled to help the IRC meet this.

[Melissa Kirsch]

Moment of unprecedented need.

[Michael]

Make your matched [e-mail] rebuild. Hey, it's Michael.

[Philip Galanis]

For our final episode of 2024, guest host Melissa Kirsch is back talking with.

[Michael]

Some of our Times colleagues about the year's best advice for living.

[Philip Galanis]

Well, I think this one's really special.

[Michael]

Take a listen.

[Melissa Kirsch]

From the New York Times. This is the Daily I'm Melissa Kirsch, deputy editor of culture and lifestyle. 2024 is coming to a close. This is traditionally a time of reflection when we look back on the year that was and look ahead to the year to come. So I'm talking with three of my colleagues whose jobs in part are to think about how we live and to think about how we can all live better today. The Year in Wisdom. It's Tuesday, December 31st. Philip Galanis, welcome.

[Philip Galanis]

Hi Melissa, how are you?

[Melissa Kirsch]

Good. How are you doing?

[Philip Galanis]

I'm just terrific. It's the last day of the year.

[Melissa Kirsch]

Yes, it is. So, Philip, for the past 16 years, you've been writing an advice column for the Times called Social Cues. Every week you answer questions from readers on a pretty wide array of subjects. Give me a sense of that range.

[Philip Galanis]

Well, there's a ton about money. There is a lot about parenting and a lot about marriage, pets, your family's finances, the way your parents divide the money between siblings, the way your siblings treat you at Thanksgiving, the way your boss speaks to you in meetings. I can't think of a human relationship that I have not gotten a question about. It's everything.

[Melissa Kirsch]

And so it seems like you need to be an expert on everything.

[Philip Galanis]

Oh, but that is where you are wrong. You really don't need to be an expert about anything. And I am standing here as living proof of it. I really think it is not telling people, but instead listening to what they are telling you and starting at that point, helping to guide them to what might be the best outcome that we both can envision for them.

[Melissa Kirsch]

Are there qualities that all good advice has in common, like what makes advice good advice?

[Philip Galanis]

The mark of really great advice is listening so closely that you're almost the same person with the person who is asking for the Advice. In my experience, the best way to do it is not to think, what should I do? But really listening to Melissa, telling me about her situation and thinking, melissa and I have this problem. We share it. Now, what's the most helpful thing I can say to her to help her march toward a solution that's gonna work for her? Because, you know, the other thing about advice is the thing that works for me may well not work for you. It really is about rethinking the idea that we have inside of us the right answer. We just need you to hear it. Really, you know, the right answer. And the best advice that I can give is one that makes you hear what you know already is the right answer.

[Melissa Kirsch]

Just sort of turning up the volume on that voice inside of me.

[Philip Galanis]

Yes. I don't give advice to anyone unless I hear them asking me for it, because often you end up hurting people's feelings inadvertently because they hear you're doing this wrong. So I am gonna tell you how to do it right. And that's about as unproductive as it gets.

[Melissa Kirsch]

So it's New Year's Eve. This is the time of year when people are making resolutions.

[Dan Jones]

Yes.

[Melissa Kirsch]

Deciding how they're going to be better next year. Do you have thoughts about New Year's resolutions?

[Philip Galanis]

I do. I do. I think, for the most part, if we had the imaginations to come up with resolutions that weren't so crushingly banal, getting our steps in, going to the gym, more eating, fewer carbs. I mean, things that are joyless, punishing, punishing, self punishing. Yeah. Very puritanical. The most common one that I hear is about diet. So if you eat 10 crappy cookies, rather than saying, let's reduce those cookies to 0, let's instead find the best cookie you can possibly find at the best bakery. Let's do the legwork. Let's find the cookie that is really gonna turn you on and eat two of those in a week. And if we can just. If we. I think if we could incorporate some more joy into our resolutions and less drudge, then they would, you know, the gyms wouldn't all be ghost towns on January 15, you know, if our resolution was, I want to find somebody whom I will love to talk to on the treadmill for 30 minutes at the gym three times a week, and you make the project. Finding that person, that's a fun resolution. You're deepening a friendship or finding somebody out of thin air. That's a good one. But it's not about the stupid steps. It's about finding the joy in whatever we need to do in order to make ourselves. I don't know, thinner, prettier, whatever silly thing we decide we need to be, which is generally not what we need anyway.

[Melissa Kirsch]

That is good advice. This is why you are the authority. Any advice for humanity for 2025?

[Philip Galanis]

Let's make 2025 the year of listening. Less talking, more listening. I think it really pays off, and it also pays dividends. And I'm gonna try to listen more.

[Melissa Kirsch]

Thank you so much for talking with me, Philip.

[Philip Galanis]

Oh, thank you for having me in. It was.

[Melissa Kirsch]

My colleague. Jancy Dunn writes a weekly column about wellness. She consults doctors and researchers and other experts on topics like how to sleep better, how to apologize like you mean it, and perfect timing for anyone who's traveling for the holidays. How to avoid getting sick on a flight. She's here with me today to share some of the most useful things she's learned this year. Hi, Jancy.

[Michael]

Hi, Melissa.

[Melissa Kirsch]

Okay, so I asked you to look back on your year in reporting. I'm very excited to hear what you found. What have you got?

[Michael]

So the first one is, if you're feeling lonely, try reaching out to a mentor from your past.

[Melissa Kirsch]

A mentor from your past? Like someone who has given you guidance, like in a previous job or when you were a child?

[Michael]

Yes, like somebody who has helped you in your life, and maybe they don't even know how much they helped you. It can be a coach, a teacher, a neighbor. So if they're still around, contact them and tell them how they've helped you, and you may reestablish that connection. You already have that shared past. And I have done this with my fourth grade teacher, Mrs. Manley. She's in her 90s, and my parents had given me a box of crap. You know, when they're cleaning out their house and they're. They say to you, like, here's your box of crap. I'm not keeping this anymore.

[Melissa Kirsch]

Oh, yes.

[Michael]

My fourth grade report card was in there, and Mrs. Manley had said, oh, I think Jancy can write. She may grow up and be a writer someday, she called it. So I wrote her a letter, and I basically just kind of thanked her for encouraging me, because when you get encouragement like that, it put in my head, oh, wait, could I be a writer? Is that even a job? I didn't know. And so I told her all that, and I said, you really shaped the course of my life. She did. And now I'm a writer, and I thank you, and you are a wonderful teacher. And she wrote back immediately with this stationary with a puppy with a letter in its mouth. And now she's my surrogate grandmother. You just don't know what can happen if you contact somebody. It can be really fulfilling.

[Melissa Kirsch]

Is there some sort of wisdom there in, like, reaching out to someone who knew you so long ago? Like they know the essential you?

[Michael]

Yes, precisely. There's a shorthand there. There's a comfort there. And the person that you are now may also connect with the person that they are now. And it's just. Especially when you get older. She's in her 90s, I'm in my 50s. We're kind of the same age in a weird way. Like, you know, you're both adults. We're both adults, and so we have a lot more in common than we did when I was a fourth grader and she was my teacher.

[Melissa Kirsch]

Okay, what's next?

[Michael]

Okay, next we have don't chew ice ever.

[Melissa Kirsch]

Don't chew ice ever. Okay. As someone who very rarely chews ice, I'm going to guess that the reason why one should not chew ice ever is because one may break a tooth. Is that correct?

[Michael]

Do you have a dental background or how did you know that?

[Melissa Kirsch]

No, I just have, like, a really good gut instinct about things having to do with teeth.

[Michael]

I interviewed eight dentists, and the majority of them, I think six out of eight, first thing out of their mouths, I said, what do you want people to know? And they said, don't chew ice. It was overwhelmingly their number one tip. Chewing ice is notorious for causing, as you mentioned, small chips in your tooth enamel, the outer layer of your tooth. And these chips can develop into larger cracks that may require treatments like root canals, crowns, even surgical removal of the tooth. There's a terrifying phrase, right? And this all comes from chewing ice, which so many people do.

[Melissa Kirsch]

Okay, what else do you have?

[Michael]

This is about decluttering. Always a hit in the early part of the year. Let go of that dusty box or bag of mystery chargers and cords. We all have it.

[Melissa Kirsch]

Oh, my God. I feel seen.

[Michael]

Let it out. How so?

[Melissa Kirsch]

That bag is the most ridiculous bag of cords.

[Michael]

Do you ever subtract from the bag? That's what a couple of the experts said to me. Or do you just add to it? Does it just get bigger and bigger?

[Melissa Kirsch]

Well, I always think, like, well, I'm gonna need these things or someone's gonna need a cord. You know, I don't wanna be caught without a cord.

[Michael]

Yes. So it's cords, it's chargers, it's remote controls from the Clinton administration.

[Melissa Kirsch]

It's a bag of obsolete technology.

[Michael]

Yes, it's. And we have no idea what any of those cords are for, but we are very, very afraid to throw them out.

[Melissa Kirsch]

So I should just throw this bag away.

[Michael]

Okay, well, first, separate everything into piles and think of all the things in your house that have cords or chargers. Go through and try them. If they don't work, it's likely that they don't. I don't want to be presumptuous. Then it's time to drop them off at a place that accepts electronic waste.

[Melissa Kirsch]

Nice. Okay, what's next?

[Michael]

Okay, I love this one. It's. If you're feeling cynical, take 15 minutes and collect moments of moral beauty.

[Melissa Kirsch]

Moral beauty. Okay, tell me what moral beauty is.

[Michael]

That is a concept that was created by a researcher named Docker Keltner, and he wrote a book called Awe.

[Melissa Kirsch]

Mm.

[Michael]

It's basically, you know, if you're losing faith in people, the world, politics, whatever. He says to take 15 minutes out of your day and pay attention to the moments of kindness all around you. I mean, it can be the tiniest moment. It can be when you're at a store and you see two people sort of joking around in the checkout line, or when you are in traffic and somebody waves you in and you get that little rush of pleasure, like, oh, thanks. And you hold up your hand, you know, you're like, awesome. There's a lot of that out there. If you pay attention and you really only need about 15 minutes, and you can collect 10 things, and they kind of reset you and remind you that a lot of people are good.

[Melissa Kirsch]

I think that I walk around a lot like a cop, looking for social infractions. Just like the tiny ways in which people are being rude to one another. And my antennae are always up for that. And so that idea of resetting and reorienting myself, looking for those moments of beauty are where people are being kind and not paying so much attention to these tiny injustices. That seems like a really worthy pursuit.

[Michael]

Yes. Even. You know, this morning when I was walking to work and I was in Penn Station, and someone ahead of me had held the door open with their elbow so they don't get germs, you know, but it's an awkward thing to stick your elbow out like that for somebody. And I thought, hm, that's nice. I do it without even thinking about it now. Kind of record those moments.

[Melissa Kirsch]

Thank you so much. This was really great.

[Michael]

My pleasure.

[Melissa Kirsch]

And Happy New Year.

[Michael]

Happy New Year to you.

[Melissa Kirsch]

We're gonna take a little break. And when we return, lessons from 20 years of the Times Modern Love column. Hi, it's Alexa Weibel from New York Times Cooking. We've got tons of easy weeknight recipes and today I'm making my five ingredient creamy miso pasta. You just take your starchy pasta water, whisk it together with a little bit of miso and butter until it's creamy. Add your noodles and a little bit of cheese. Hmm. It's like a grown up box of Mac and cheese that feels like a restaurant quality dish. New York Times Cooking has you covered with easy dishes for busy weeknights. You can find [e-mail] Twenty years ago, Daniel Jones helped create the Times Modern Love column. Every week, Modern Love publishes personal essays on love in all its forms. Not just romantic love, but love between parents and children, siblings, love between friends, love that's lost or unrequited. Dan has read thousands of these love stories, and today he's here to tell us what he's learned. Hi, Dan.

[Dan Jones]

Hi, Melissa. Good to be here.

[Melissa Kirsch]

So, Dan, I imagine over all the years of doing this work, your perspective on love has probably changed. How has this work changed the way you think about love?

[Dan Jones]

I get asked that a lot and I think about it a lot. And I think mostly I've seen in essays, both ones that seem, you know, that are sort of successful in terms of what happens in them and not is there's kind of a dividing line between people who continue to open their hearts and those who shut down. And one is the path to happiness and one is the path to unhappiness and regret. And it's not always easy when something ends or when you suffer a real loss. And to see people who continue to put themselves out there and say, like, this is my one life. I'm gonna make something of it. And yeah, I admire that. And I feel like it's changed my life.

[Melissa Kirsch]

You published a piece earlier this year about what you've learned from reading and editing all these love stories. One of the takeaways that stayed with me is the line, love is more like a basketball than a vase. Talk about that.

[Dan Jones]

Well, that line comes from an essay by a writer named Thomas Hooven. Actually, I call him a writer, but he's a doctor and was a medical resident. And he'd come from a difficult childhood. His fiance at the time had similarly come from a difficult childhood. And they found and their relationship was kind of a refuge from their past family lives and their childhoods. And he any kind of conflict they would have was like apocalyptically threatening to that that love. And his whole concept of love was peace. She, perhaps sensing the fragility of that, broke off their engagement just a few weeks before they were to get married. And he was just not before starting his medical residency. And he went off to this medical residency just devastated. And how am I going to get through this? And it was lonely, but turned out to be kind of a boot camp for him in what real love means. And that real love involves conflict and disappointment and it has to be able to absorb and hold all of those feelings. It can't just be about peace and comfort. And during his residency, he learns that and comes out the other end of it. What he says as a more full human being and a better doctor and meets a woman where they are able to have a full relationship that he describes as being more like a basketball than a vase. One is durable and can bounce and can take a beating. And a vase is something that breaks the first time you drop it, but looks beautiful from the outside. And it resonated so deeply with me because I felt so similarly to him in my life of wanting to avoid conflict, of feeling like love should not. If you fight, that means you're not meant to be together and on the contrary, like to be able to manage a fight and grow from it and know someone more deeply because of it is one of the main keys to sort of a durable and lasting relationship.

[Melissa Kirsch]

Looking back over the archive, so many of the stories that you publish are about love that doesn't last. They're about breakups, they're about one night stands, or they're about chance encounters with people that you never see again. It's about the loss of love or a very fleeting love more than it's about an enduring love.

[Dan Jones]

Right.

[Melissa Kirsch]

I'd love to talk about what you take away from pieces like that.

[Dan Jones]

There's a popular conception that a relationship that ends is a failed relationship. And you know, every relationship can have its value. And to think of something as a failure because it ended, it just. It's not fair and it's not wise and it's not productive and it's not true.

[Melissa Kirsch]

Right. Maybe it's what, like movies and fairy tales? Maybe. Tell us about what a successful relationship looks like. Right?

[Dan Jones]

Yeah. And I mean, at one point I remember noticing, especially among young, young people, college students, sophisticated college students, they still referred to Disney Mov as being their inspiration, in a way, for what romantic love is, which all of those movies end in a wedding. You know, like a wedding is the achievement instead of the beginning of a deepening relationship. And that's part of that misconception. These sort of scripts that we seem to play in our lives or that we feel like we need to stick to. And it's not that, you know, it's the beginning of conflict. It's the beginning of something that. That is deeper.

[Melissa Kirsch]

Mm. My favorite modern love essays tend to be about tiny, quiet moments instead of grand gestures. I'm thinking about essays like Learning to Measure Time in Love and Loss. Talk to me about that piece.

[Dan Jones]

Yeah. And this is an essay by a writer named Chris Huntington. He talks about this ritual with his son where they also talk each day about the best moments and the worst moments of their day. And one night, he's. He's reading with his son, and he's feeling distracted and probably checking his phone and just all of those things where you're not in the moment. And he says, oh, wait, we. We forgot to talk about our best moment and worst moment. What's the best moment of your day? And his son says, this is Daddy. This is. I start to. I actually start to get teary just thinking about it. And when I read that, tears sort of sprung to my eyes, and I thought about my own experiences with my reading to my son and to my daughter and the distraction that I used to feel. And what am I gonna do tomorrow? And what do I have to do for work? And just that reminder, that small moment of, like, this is your life. These are the important moments of your life. Be in them.

[Melissa Kirsch]

Well, thank you so much, Dan, for talking with me today. Thank you, Melissa, and happy New Year to you.

[Dan Jones]

Happy New Year to you.

[Melissa Kirsch]

We're going to take a short break, and when we return, New York Times readers share the best advice they received this year.

[Michael]

Hi, this is Lori Leibovich, editor of.

[Melissa Kirsch]

Well at the New York Times.

[Michael]

Everything that our readers get when they.

[Melissa Kirsch]

Dig into a well article has been vetted. Our reporters are consulting experts doing the research so that you can make great.

[Michael]

Decisions about your physical health and your mental health.

[Melissa Kirsch]

We take our reporting extra seriously because.

[Michael]

We know New York Times subscribers are counting on us.

[Melissa Kirsch]

If you already subscribed, thank you. If you'd like to subscribe, go to.

[Michael]

Nytimes.Com subscribe.

[Melissa Kirsch]

The best advice I've been given this year.

[Michael]

The best advice I've received this year.

[Dan Jones]

Best advice I got all year.

[Melissa Kirsch]

The best piece of advice I got this year. My name is Zach Rosen. I'm from Detroit, Michigan, and I'm currently living in Amsterdam. The best piece of advice I got this year is from my friend Daniel Estren. And the advice is this. When someone says thank you, just say, you're welcome. This is not as easy as it seems. We usually say, oh, no, thank you or no problem. But when we actually accept a thank you with your welcome, I find it deeply satisfying for both parties. And I think it's just a really good practice to accept thanks from someone sincerely. Instead of trying harder, try softer.

[Dan Jones]

Best advice I got all year was.

[Michael]

From a Texan who said, never crouch with spurs on. What other people think of you is none of your business. Surrender to the darkness. You don't need to know how it's going to turn out.

[Melissa Kirsch]

Foreign.

[Dan Jones]

Hi, this is Dave Brashear in New Orleans, Louisiana. Best advice I got this year had to bury my wife, and after 40 years of marriage and the bedroom has been very difficult. My therapist suggested bring the dog into the bedroom. I'm allergic, so it had to be in his crate, but he's happier and it's transformed my bedroom into a place I can feel comfortable.

[Michael]

My best advice when helping somebody get through chemo was not one day at a time, but five minutes at a time. The smartest piece of advice I've gotten is that everything is temporary, and I hope that applies to the head cold that I have right now. But mostly I hope it applies to how I feel about what happened one day, which was my husband came downstairs at breakfast time and said, I owe you an apology. I've treated you badly. I've been seeing someone else and I love her and I want to be with her. And he got in his car and drove away and I haven't seen him since. We've been married for 34 years and I thought we were both happy, but apparently only one of us was. So it turns out that even marriage is temporary. But I'm hoping that a whole lot of other things happen that couldn't have happened unless this bad thing happened.

[Dan Jones]

I'm Stan Perry in Houston, Texas. One piece of advice I received in 2024 and that I followed all year is each day keep a list of wins. I'm an attorney, so sometimes it's work related. For example, ruling from a court that was significant for a lawsuit. Other times it's something that may not be that significant for my career, but is very significant on a personal level. For example, my parents are in their 80s, and each time I talk to them, I consider it a win just to be able to hear their voice and talk to them.

[Michael]

Hi, my name is Gina Luongo and I live in Toronto, Canada.

[Melissa Kirsch]

The best piece of advice I got.

[Michael]

This year, quite simply, is when you put on your lipstick, use your finger to spread it over your lips. It gives a very fresh, natural and pouty look. And it's what French women do, apparently. I can't believe it. I've lived over five decades and have never tried this before. It has softened the look of my face while adding some much needed color. I love it. Who knew? My brother's advice, never pass up free food or drink. If you focus on the wound, you will continue to hurt. And if you focus on the lesson, you'll continue to grow.

[Philip Galanis]

My name is Mel Foster and I live in West Bloomfield, Michigan. A recent client, Bernie, shared this advice. Never be afraid to enter into a new venture, but always be aware that you're going to pay a dumb tax.

[Michael]

You are going to try to figure.

[Philip Galanis]

Out every possible roadblock that there is to your effort, but when you actually get into it and actually pursue it, you're going to find there are problems that you never foresaw and it's going to cost you money.

[Michael]

And that's your dumb tax. I had back trouble for most of the year. My physical therapist gave me some helpful exercises, but the best advice was a simple slogan. Motion is lotion. The more active I am, the less my back bothers me. Magic. My name is Len Dsessa. I Live in Dresher, Pennsylvania. Well, the best advice I received in 2024 was from my therapist that was talking about issues I was having in my relationship with my wife. And he said to me, you can be the safe harbor or you can be the storm, but you cannot be both. And that really impacted me. Matter of fact, it's on my wall in my office. My best advice of the year is keep swimming. And that is from Finding Nemo. My friend shared that with me after the tornado that Hurricane Milton set off in my area and I got a direct hit. And then the insanity of the election time and now holidays. And so my new term is just keep swimming. Just keep swimming.

[Melissa Kirsch]

My name is Tamara and I live in Edinburgh in Scotland.

[Michael]

And the best piece of advice I've.

[Melissa Kirsch]

Got this year is and maybe ever is from my friend Helen, who told me, don't borrow trouble. Annoyingly, I've shortened this to dbt. And DBT is all about not getting yourself in bits or knots or catastrophizing about things in the future that are outside of your control.

[Michael]

This is Nina Miller from Portland, Maine, reporting the most sage advice I received in 2024. It's pretty simple. Practice makes better for me as a professional French horn player in an orchestra, playing the horn is really an imperfect instrument, yet we strive for perfection which is unobtainable. So having the permission to know that practice makes better was extremely liberating for me and just changed the whole way I look at my life, my work and the playing of my French horn. The best advice that I received this year was from my husband. We are an old couple who have decades of harmony and conflict between us. Whenever we are arguing, usually over something petty like who left the light on or put a pink shirt in the whitewash, he will remind me that we will die soon. We are at that age where our conversations are peppered with sciatica and weak knee stories and the next day is not guaranteed. So when we have flare ups he reminds me of our mortality and the importance of appreciating every given moment. My husband and I became first time parents this year after quite a bout with infertility and had to go through.

[Melissa Kirsch]

Several rounds of ivf.

[Michael]

So this child was very much journey. And of course people want to give parents new parents tons of advice and so much of it is so kooky, you know, sleep when they sleep or you must have this toy or this developmental thing. But I think the best piece of advice we've received was raise the child you have not raised the child you want. My name is Nina Caledon and I currently live in Amsterdam, the Netherlands, but I'm from New York State. This piece of advice that I received from my auntie, she wrote me in a card and I want to directly quote this to make sure I get it right.

[Melissa Kirsch]

Such chaos that we are living in.

[Michael]

Now, but nature continues in all of her glory and I just found it to be the most beautiful sentiment around. Well society and life can feel so challenging and bleak on the day to day that our natural world is what grounds us to a greater being and.

[Melissa Kirsch]

It'S something I'm profoundly grateful for and.

[Michael]

Something that I want to carry with me.

[Melissa Kirsch]

Today's episode was produced by Sarah Curtis with help from Kate Lopresti. It was edited by Wendy Dore with production support by Frannie Kartoth and original music by Diane Wong, Dan Powell, Alicia Ba? Itupe, Marian Lozano and Sophia Landman. It was engineered by Daniel Ramirez. Special thanks to Sam Sipton, Lauren Manley, Ben Calhoun, Claire Tennisketter, Alexandra Lee Young, Alex Barron, Elissa Dudley, John White, Tina Antolini, Maddie Masiello, Nick Pittman, Kyle Grandillo, Mahima Chablani, Isabella Anderson, Jacob Meschke, Paula Schuman and Sam Dolnick. That's it for the Daily hi, I'm Melissa Kirsch. Michael and Sabrina will be back on Thursday after the holiday. Happy New Year. How could market forces impact investment strategies?

[Michael]

Tune into the Angle from T. Rowe.

[Melissa Kirsch]

Price for sharp insights on today's key trends, from the blue economy and AI to the impacts of the US Election.

[Michael]

This award winning podcast brings you an.

[Melissa Kirsch]

Information edge with thought provoking questions to changing market themes and gives curious investors dynamic perspectives from their global investing team and special guests. Better questions, better insights.

[Michael]

Listen and subscribe to the Angle on Spotify or Apple podcasts and learn more@t roweprice.com theangle podcast.