Transcript
Geico Advertiser (0:00)
How do you feel when you switch to Geico and save on your car insurance? It's like going to work on one Thursday morning and thinking to yourself, just one more day until Friday. But then somebody in the elevator says, happy Friyay. Then you check your phone quickly and discover today is actually Friday. So, yes, Happy Friday, random stranger in the elevator. Happy Friday indeed. Yep, switching and saving with Geico feels just like that. Get more with Geico.
Jon Stewart (0:29)
Hey, everybody, Jon Stewart here. I am here to tell you about my new podcast, the weekly show coming out every Thursday. We're going to be talking about the election, earnings calls. What are they talking about on these earnings calls? We're going to be talking about ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches. I know you have a lot of options as far as podcasts go, but how many of them come out on Thursday? Listen to the weekly show with Jon Stewart. Wherever you get your podcast.
Ben Wickler (1:00)
You'Re listening.
Jon Stewart (1:00)
To Comedy Central from the most trusted journalists at Comedy Central. It's America's only source for news.
Geico Advertiser (1:13)
This is the Daily show with your host, Jon Stewart.
Jon Stewart (1:40)
Boom. Welcome to the Daily Show. My name is John Stewart. Man, do we have a good show for you tonight. The chairman, not the alderman, not the assistant, the chairman of the Wisconsin Democratic Party. Only at the Daily show does that get a big round of applause. Really? Wisconsin Democratic Party Ben Wickler is going to be joining us to discuss the future of the national Democratic Party. Specifically, is there going to be one?
Ben Wickler (2:19)
I don't know.
Jon Stewart (2:20)
But first, ladies and gentlemen, we can often get cynical about the state of things in the world, fall in a cycle of despair, as though the horrors and deprivations of our modern world can never be overturned or undone. But then at our lowest, we get images like these from this weekend. A moment in time of pure, unalloyed joy, the delirious, almost uncomprehending excitement for a people celebrating a suddenly bright and hopeful new future. Yes, even the people of Syria are celebrating the New York Mets signing Ron Soto, chanting, you heard them. You heard them in the streets chanting. I can only assume we're going to the series. I, I, I kid. Of course, those images were jubilant Syrians celebrating the end of the 50 year rule of the murderous, despotic Assad family, a result that would have seemed incomprehensible even two weeks ago. And you know it's the real deal because they sealed it with the universal symbol of fallen dictatorships, the traditional toppling of the statues. They pulled them down with rope, they toppled the horse. One, they knocked over the one where Assad signaled field goal. They even paraded Assad's head through the streets like a decapitated Charlie Brown in the Macy's Day parade. And if I may, a quick word to the many remaining despots in the Middle East. It is my deepest hope that when you see this footage, you realize once and for all that you are really skimping on statue structural integrity. Because when you are overthrown, and you will be. They're just going through these statues like it's tissue paper. I mean, this one here. Look at this one here. The guy just pushes it over with one hand. It's all boom. It's just one guy. This statue is a symbol of my eternal power and iron fist. That. Oh, no, don't touch it. It's just clay and pressed wood shavings. Father always told me, if it's worth putting up a symbol of autocracy, it's worth doing it right. And while the dictators could have made it fun for people by filling the statues with candy or something, Assad's former subjects are still finding a way to have fun with the toppled totems. It's like their new public transport system. Some kind of. Some kind of Syrian version of a Club Med banana boat. By the way, I. I don't speak Arabic, but I'm pretty sure that what they were chanting there is mustache rides 5 cents. Oh, I know that fella there is feeling the sweet taint of freedom. But while Statu Assad is being teabagged in the streets, actual Assad has left the building.
