FIFA Gives Trump a Gold Pacifier & Looming War on Venezuela Gives Jon Iraq Déjà Vu | Malala Yousafzai

Summary

The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Episode Summary: "FIFA Gives Trump a Gold Pacifier & Looming War on Venezuela Gives Jon Iraq Déjà Vu | Malala Yousafzai"
Date: December 9, 2025
Host: Jon Stewart
Key Interview: Malala Yousafzai

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Daily Show: Ears Edition is a seamless blend of irreverent satire, pointed political critique, and heartfelt conversation. Jon Stewart and the Daily Show News Team tackle the surreal announcement of Donald Trump receiving FIFA's made-up "Peace Prize" against the backdrop of escalating U.S.—Venezuela tensions, drawing biting parallels to the prelude of the Iraq War. The episode culminates with an intimate and revealing interview with Malala Yousafzai, who discusses her new memoir, the pressures of young fame, the importance of mental health, and her ongoing advocacy for girls' education.

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Key Segments & Timestamps

1. Opening & FIFA "Peace Prize" for Trump

[01:40 – 05:34]

• Stewart welcomes the audience, including a humorous nod to Malala as the youngest Nobel laureate, poking fun at audience ambitions versus Malala's achievements.
• Main headline: FIFA World Cup will be hosted in the Americas, overshadowed by FIFA's inaugural—and wholly invented—Peace Prize awarded to Donald Trump.
• Stewart lampoons both the creation of the prize and its thinly veiled attempt to "appease" Trump, describing it as the "FIFA appease prize."
• Visual gag on-air: The supposed "trophy" has a questionable design, leading to recurring jokes about its possible origin as a "golden butt plug".
• Quote: "Trump is so needy. It's like the world always has to reach out and stroke his balls. 'Oh Donald, you're such a good leader. Oh, you're such a man of peace...'" — Jon Stewart [04:56]

2. U.S.—Venezuela Tensions: A Déjà Vu of Iraq

[05:34 – 20:05]

• Stewart draws a sharp, satirical contradiction between Trump's "Peace Prize" and simultaneous military escalation toward Venezuela.
  • Troop buildups and the specter of regime change echo the run-up to the Iraq War.
  • Stewart points out the hypocrisy: Trump campaigned as a non-interventionist but is now embracing war rhetoric.
  • Quote: "To many Americans, invading Venezuela to topple their leaders feels a little interventiony... MAGA believes in non foreign intervention, but they also believe in blindly following their leader." — Jon Stewart [08:02]
• The show mocks cable news anchors struggling to locate Venezuela on a map and using condescending educational segments.
  • Quote: "You had a feeling? Do you guys not have a meeting before the news where they might show you where Venezuela is before you go on television...?" — Jon Stewart [09:42]
• Clips and satirical soundbites compare Trump officials' justifications for action in Venezuela to those used for Iraq ("WMDs" now replaced by claims of fentanyl boats).
  • Stewart ridicules this as linguistic bait-and-switch: if you call something "Weapons of Mass Destruction" enough, will the public buy in?
  • Quote: "Or is WMD just the new slang? Like, yo, bro, Venezuela's total WMD67..." — Jon Stewart [12:28]
• Stewart rolls a montage of politicians—Lindsey Graham, Tom Cotton, etc.—recycling the same rationalizations and talking points from 2003 for new conflict.
• Explores the imperial logic behind "America First," now rebranded as "The Americas First."
  • Quote: "South America literally has the name America in it—so it's ours. Our name is on it. We own that shit." — Jon Stewart [18:58]
• Satirizes the real motivations behind intervention—oil, minerals—contrasted with rhetorical appeals to freedom and democracy.
  • Quote: "So yeah, the one lesson this administration seems to have taken from Iraq…there might also be a side benefit to this war you should know about. Venezuela has the largest reserves of oil in the world." — Jon Stewart [18:27]

3. Rob Corddry "Time-Travel" Sketch

[20:05 – 24:08]

• Surreal, meta-sketch: Rob Corddry "time-travels" from 2005 to warn Stewart that the Iraq War is a disaster.
• The segment lampoons both the futility of ignoring historical lessons and the passing of time in pop culture references.
  • Corddry learns hot tub time machine is in his own future, and that Jon Stewart left the show for a lower-rated version (on Apple TV+, alluded to).
  • Corddry quizzes Stewart about Bill Cosby, Kevin Spacey, and "The Apprentice"—all now tainted or obsolete.
• Quote: "I should have gone back in time and...oh, that's the movie. But here we are in the present. Yes. Which I'm assuming is...2095?" — Rob Corddry [22:22]

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4. Interview: Malala Yousafzai

[Interview begins at 26:38]

Malala’s Personal Growth and New Memoir

[27:04 – 30:31]

• Stewart notes Malala's transformation from a 16-year-old guest to a young woman in her late 20s: "When you came on the show...you were 16 years old." [27:17]
• Malala reflects on the burden of being perceived as a "perfect" Nobel laureate and her quest for normalcy at college.
  • Quote: "I thought it means that I have to live a perfect life now. I have to be a perfect daughter, a perfect person...But I realized that...I didn't have to sacrifice friendship and so much of my normal life." — Malala Yousafzai [28:50]
• In college, she joined every club to make friends, even tried rowing (which proved, humorously, to be a bad idea due to her dislike of mornings and inability to swim).
  • Quote: "I just wanted to be a student more than anything. And then I became a bit reckless as well...rooftop climbing, blew off classes..." — Malala Yousafzai [30:32-31:12]

Navigating Public Perception, Family, & Social Media

[33:08 – 37:47]

• Malala discusses the tension between her own normal experiences and cultural expectations, especially around modesty, social conduct, and gender roles.
• Recalls controversy over a photo where she wore jeans, leading to backlash in Pakistan's media—a stark contrast to her brothers' freedoms.
  • Quote: "Somebody took a picture of me...skinny jeans and a bomber jacket and my headscarf...there was this whole controversy...I reminded [my parents] when my brother moved to the UK, they immediately switched to jeans and T-shirts." — Malala Yousafzai [33:57]
• Shares her approach to online criticism: "I'm like, I hope they get tired of typing the hateful comments."
• Emotional account of her mother’s upbringing and generational differences in women’s aspirations.
  • Quote: "Her dream was to just find the right guy who would be a nice husband...but there was no answer. And that broke my heart that there has been… many generations of women who never even had dreams for themselves." — Malala Yousafzai [36:28]

Activism, Malala Fund, and Mental Health

[37:47 – 41:21]

• Stewart congratulates Malala on her new school for girls in Pakistan: "They just graduated their first class."
• Malala underscores the power of local grassroots education activism—her Nobel Prize money started the school, which graduated its first class this year.
• Stresses that lasting change comes from empowering local activists; this is the focus of the Malala Fund's work.
  • Quote: "I believe we have to empower local activists...the money goes directly to local education activists, because the work that my father and I did in our hometown, there are so many activists doing that work..." — Malala Yousafzai [39:01]
• Discusses her experience with PTSD and the stigma around mental health for someone publicly labeled "brave."
  • Quote: "I was offered therapy as part of my initial treatment...but I refused to get it because I thought...asking for help makes me feel weak." — Malala Yousafzai [40:24]
  • Ultimately, therapy years later becomes key to her recovery.

Marriage, Feminism, and Personal Choices

[41:27 – 43:12]

• Malala wittily recounts her initial determination to avoid marriage after seeing women's dreams curtailed by it—only to marry the "dreamboat" described in her memoir.
  • Quote: "When I was a kid, I decided that I will never get married...but then I see this guy and he's very, very handsome and all of that..." — Malala Yousafzai [41:55]
• She sought spiritual/feminist guidance (from bell hooks, Virginia Woolf) to reconcile her choices with her ideals.

Final Reflections

[43:18 – 44:18]

• Stewart lauds Malala's candidness and multidimensionality in the memoir.
• Malala highlights the urgency for education in Afghanistan under Taliban rule, vowing to continue the fight.
  • Quote: "This is the most personal reflections I have ever shared...and I talk about how I am leading my life, doing advocacy and work for all girls who do not have equal opportunities. Most importantly for the Afghan girls who are banned from their education right now." — Malala Yousafzai [43:34]

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Notable Quotes

• Jon Stewart on manufactured honors:
  "He won the prize specifically created to appease him. The FIFA appease prize." [03:41]

• Jon Stewart on U.S. intervention:
  "It's even more baffling when you think about how Trump ran as the non interventionist, non regime changey America first candidate..." [07:16]

• Malala Yousafzai on mental health:
  "I was offered therapy...but I refused...because I thought...asking for help makes me feel weak...true bravery is still doing what you believe in, even when you are scared." [40:24, 40:51]

• Malala Yousafzai on expectations:
  "I thought I had to live up to this definition, but then I realized that actually true bravery is still doing what you believe in, even when you are scared." [40:51]

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Tone & Language

True to form, Stewart blends sharp, satirical analysis (often NSFW and irreverent) with genuine curiosity and empathy in interviewing Malala. The show remains in tune with current events and pop culture, while the interview segments are earnest, reflective, and sprinkled with Malala’s understated humor.

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Conclusion

This episode expertly bridges the absurdities and dangers of U.S. foreign policy déjà vu with a deeply human and hopeful conversation about resilience, activism, and self-acceptance. It’s at once scathingly funny, historically astute, and emotionally resonant—essential listening for fans of political satire and heartfelt storytelling alike.

Transcript

[Malala Yousafzai]

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[John Stewart]

Your planet is now marked for death. Marvel Studios the Fantastic Four First Steps is now streaming on Disney. We will protect you as a family. Light em up, Johnny. Marvel's first family is certified fresh on Rotten Tomatoes. That is fantastic. And critics say it's one of the best superhero movies of all time. Marvel Studios the Fantastic Four first steps now streaming on Disney. Rated PG 13. What time is it, Ben? It's Clobber dawn time. You're listening to Comedy Central.

From the most trusted journalists at Comedy Central, It's America's only source for news. This is the Daily show with your host, John Stewart.

Welcome to the Neighborhood Show. Hello.

Pleasure to be here tonight.

We got a good one. We got a good one for you tonight. A great one for you tonight. Later on in the program, I'll be joined by Malala Yousafzai. She'll be coming on the program.

Activist, author, producer, youngest Nobel Prize winner in history. Yeah.

Yeah.

Look at you people out there. She's the youngest Nobel Prize winner here. What are you doing? I'm thinking about maybe getting into writing. I don't know.

Guy in the audience, I tell you. Why you want to be a comedy writer? How do I become a comedy writer? I tell him. And he goes, yeah, that might be fun.

Seems like a lot of work. I don't know.

Let's get into the big story. This weekend, FIFA, the World cup is going to be held in the Americas, the United States, Canada and Mexico. And there was great suspense around. No, not who would be in this year's group of Death or how FIFA would find a way to f over Scotland. No, it was who would win FIFA's inaugural Peace Prize. Oh, because. No, it's inaugural FIFA Peace Prize because when I think of one sport that fosters peaceful coexistence.

It'S the beautiful game. All right, here we go. Who's it going to be? Please welcome the very first winner of the FIFA Peace Prize, the 45th and 47th President of the United States of America, Mr. Donald J. Trump. Please.

Oh, my God. I can't believe he won everybody.

Oh, My God. Something.

Oh, my God. He won the prize specifically created to appease him. The FIFA appease prize. Mr. President, this is your prize. This is your peace prize. There is also a beautiful medal for you that you can wear everywhere you want to go.

Right now. Okay, let me hold. Fantastic. Excellent.

Not boo. Enjoy that. He's so weird. Enjoy that. The man just got a made up peace prize and his first move is.

Like, you know, he's so thirsty, he's not even gonna bag it. He's like, nah, just wear it out of the store. No worries.

I don't want to say anything. I don't know if you guys got a good look at the trophy.

But come on.

I think its design somewhat reflects in all likelihood how it was conceived. I take you to that meeting now.

Why do we gotta invent some prize just to satisfy some fragile egomaniac? Trump is so needy. It's like the world always has to reach out and stroke his balls. Oh, Donald, you're such a good leader. Oh, you're such a man of peace. Oh, you're a man of peace. I love you.

You're the most peaceful man. They're like, wait, hold that pose.

Ferguson. I think you're onto something.

Seriously, come on. The craziest part wasn't necessarily Donald Trump being awarded an entirely fictitious golden butt plug. It was the cognitive dissonance of. Of flipping over to the news channel's post peace ceremony. Trump administration ramping up pressure on Nicolas Maduro on the brink of war with Venezuela, possibility of regime change. President Trump giving him a stern ultimatum.

[Malala Yousafzai]

Leave the country or else the brink of war.

[John Stewart]

President Trump.

Did this meaningless award mean nothing to you?

The whole world was tickling your balls.

And Trump was like, I enjoy that. Wait, not you. Venezuela.

By the way, if you think the Trump administration is not serious about Venezuela, they seem to be setting a pretty nice table. The Pentagon is surging battleships towards the coast of Venezuela.

[Malala Yousafzai]

Roughly 15,000 active duty troops.

[John Stewart]

The largest show of force in the Caribbean in decades. Well, not including, of course, your friend Stephanie's destination bachelorette party. That is the largest show of force in the Caribbean. You have to come. The T shirts are already printed.

So if you.

She had them printed.

She's a good friend.

So if you think a military buildup and planned regime change is inconsistent with an award winning man of peace, it's even more baffling when you think about how Trump ran as the non interventionist, non regime changey America first candidate and how the Secretary of war.

And fake cop stripper at Stephanie's bachelorette party, Pete Hegseth.

He laid out those non interventionist principles explicitly just days ago. The War Department will not be distracted by democracy building, interventionism, undefined wars, regime change, and feckless nation building.

To many Americans, invading Venezuela to topple their leaders feels a little interventiony, which now puts MAGA world in a quandary. MAGA believes in non foreign intervention, but they also believe in blindly following their leader.

How will they square this circle and delicately reassure us that Trump is not like those other intervention presidents? Now, a lot of people are gun shy after Iraq, and I understand that. Totally get that.

Totally.

What's with the tone? You sound like a creepy guy who's trying to have sex with a widow. Hey, slugger. I loved your dad too, but he's gone and you know I miss him. Totally get that.

But your mom's lonely, so I'm gonna bang.

This anchor is trying to fertilize the soil, getting America used to what might be using his comfort voice and a little bit of basic education. Let's just go over a few basics, because maybe you don't know where Venezuela is. All right? Like me. All right. I know it's in South America. Very good. Let's take a closer look at South America. There it is. Now, be honest. When you look at that map, who knows exactly where, which country it is? I know it's at the tippy top, one of those two, but. All right, there it is. Venezuela. I had a feeling, but I wasn't 1,000% convinced.

You had a feeling? Do you guys not have a meeting before the news where they might show you where Venezuela is before you go on television so you don't learn about it on air? Are you not an anchor? Do you just roll out of bed and hit the ring light like a news influencer? Is that what this is? Is this supposed to be one of those get ready for war with.

All right, so now we know where Venezuela is and that it's yellow.

Who is its leader? What does he look like? What's he into? How is he responding to our provocation? Perhaps this video from his anti US Intervention rally last week will explain.

[Malala Yousafzai]

This is the Venezuelan dictator dancing to a song. No. War, yes, peace.

[John Stewart]

I cannot believe.

He is doing the super bowl halftime show. That is.

My God. Maduro.

Maduro is unleashing the most powerful weapon of all. The power of dance.

If Maduro is challenging Trump to a dance battle, we may be in trouble.

Wait a minute. Maduro's on the twos and fours.

And he could do a dance without giving trabajo de manos.

Yeah, you can Google that later. That's a literal translation. I'm sure. That's not what they actually call it. I'm sure, like, when you're with a girl or guy, you're not like, how about a trabajo de manos?

But I know what MAGA is doing. They're convincing us that Iraq was an entirely different set of circumstances. That country was led by a sword wielding, mustachioed madman who held an iron grip on his people and his power. Nicolas Maduro is nothing like, oh shit.

Well, look, I'm sure a lot of leaders use the same sword guy. Superficial coincidence. Same sword, same mustache. I'm sure they wear different hats. It's not a kind of. Oh boy.

All right, so the two dictators share a remarkably similar taste in facial hair, body shape, ceremonial sabers and headgear. It doesn't mean that the pretext for the wars will be the same. That drugged out dinghy was a floating weapon of mass destruction. Every boat carrying fentanyl and drugs in this country is a weapon of mass destruction.

Are you kidding me right now? You guys have the balls to tell us that the pretext for Iraq was bullshit and that war was a mistake and we're not like that. And also, Venezuela has weapons of mass destruction and we have to stop them. Or is WMD just the new slang? Like, yo, bro, Venezuela's total WMD67. What's up? Like, is that what we're doing? And for those of you who are like, oh my God, I didn't even realize that all the fentanyl in the US comes from Venezuela. That's because it doesn't. Like almost none of it. Like none of it. Look, you know what?

I didn't want to have to do this. You have forced my hand. If you're going to bring back early 2000s geopolitics, I'm going to have to bring back early 2000s Daily show gotcha clips. Because as much as you say war with Venezuela would be so different from Iraq, it seems like you may be using the neocon's sales manual. Like, other than WMDs, why was it so important to take down Saddam Hussein? His regime has an active support for and cooperation with terrorist networks. Terrorist networks? That's the worst kind of networks.

Even including Paramount. Plus, it's the worst kind of network. Well.

You were gonna get me fired.

Well, you'll never guess where the terrorists are now. Iran, its IRGC, and even Hezbollah. They have planted Their flag on Venezuelan territory with a full and open cooperation of that regime. Wow. So if you're saying we go to war with Venezuela, we're also getting into a proxy war with Iran. I'm sold. Now, if I remember correctly, though, Iraq lasted until. Still.

And what did they say about that? I think it would be a cakewalk. I don't think it would be a. That tough a fight.

I think the saddest part of getting into a war of choice in 2025.

Is that Dick Cheney won't be around to say it.

Don't.

The only solace is I'm sure that he is looking up at us right now.

Really proud. Probably some birds picking, you know.

But yeah, you know, quick and easy. That was a rock. Guess what they're saying now. A few punches to the face and they will go, this is going to be an easy job for the United States. How eerie is the Iraq parallel? Well, we got one guy making the same case for both wars. And yes, it's who you think. Saddam Hussein's a threat to my country. He's a threat to our way of life. He needs to go. Maduro is an existential threat to the people of the United States. It is time for Maduro to go. Now, to be fair, some things have changed over the last 20 years. You know, back in the Iraq war, we used to play clips of Lindsey Graham and make jokes suggesting that he's secretly gay. But now we know that that was inappropriate.

I know. I know it was inappropriate. But you know what? You know what? I'm not even gonna play it around anymore. It hit me with the works. Iraq, Venezuela, Go. We're giving them full opportunity to do it the easy way. And when it doesn't work, we'll do it the hard way. If we can do things the easy way, that's fine. And if we have to do it the hard way, that's fine, too. Chemical weapons is a threat to the United States. Fentanyl poses a chemical weapons threat to the United States. Al Qaeda terrorists inside Iraq. Al Qaeda of our hemisphere. If we can get rid of Saddam, it could really begin to transform the region.

[Malala Yousafzai]

There's an opportunity to transform the entire.

[John Stewart]

Region, bringing freedom and democracy.

[Malala Yousafzai]

Democracy and freedom can serve as a beacon of hope.

[John Stewart]

Shock and awe. Shock and awe, indeed. If you think this is getting confusing, you're not alone. Even senators can't keep these Bush or Trump wars straight. This is Senator Tom Cotton from this weekend. I think President Bush has every power under the Constitution to strike boats in international waters. Oopsie poopsie.

That's a little Freudian. Feels like calling the teacher mom.

In the middle of a war crime. Well, let's be fair. These wars aren't exactly the same. For example, how the Bush administration went to great pains to convince everyone that the Iraq war had a higher purpose. It has nothing to do with oil. Literally nothing to do with oil. Literally nothing. So yeah, the one lesson this administration seems to have taken from Iraq is beyond the weapons of mass destruction and fentanyl disruption and regime change, yada yada yada. There might also be a side benefit to this war you should know about. Venezuela has the largest reserves of oil in the world. Venezuela that has a rich. Talk about rich natural energy resources, massive oil reserve. They have gold, they have rare earths, oil, gold and minerals. And I am sure there are US companies that would like to do business there. Venezuela for the American oil companies will be a field day. You know, I didn't think this war was a wise decision. But if it helps the oil company smile again.

So basically all the bullshit reasons we used to justify the disastrous war in Iraq. The non interventionist Trump regime are trotting out to justify war in Venezuela. So how is this war not considered a foreign entanglement? Well, it's easy by redefining the word foreign.

[Malala Yousafzai]

And America first means we need a.

[John Stewart]

Western hemisphere where America is dominant. If you're focused on America and America first, you start with your own hemisphere where we live.

[Malala Yousafzai]

America first also means the Americas first.

[John Stewart]

South America literally has the name America in it.

So it's ours. Our name is on it. We own that shit. Don't you get it? America's new foreign policy is basically this. Don't kill people there. Kill them every year in your own time zone. It's classic shit where you eat.

That's the new Trump doctrine. It's not in any way about stable democracies. It's about spheres of influence. Russia can have their sphere of influence, including Ukraine. China can have theirs and probably Taiwan. And we get South America. America is no longer the shining city on the hill. It is merely just one of the five crime families splitting up the territories. And that's how they like it. But beyond that, it is 2005 all over again. And the main thing.

What the. What the. John?

John.

Hello?

John. Oh my God. John.

Oh my God. John. What? I can't believe that. Oh my God. This is unbeliev.

Guys. Visit. Former Iraq era Daily Show Correspondent Mr. Rob Cordry is here.

This is amazing. Now.

What are you doing? Here. And why are you dressed like Marty McFly? Good question. John, I just time traveled here from 2005 into the present because I need to warn you, the war in Iraq is a disaster. We cannot, John, make that mistake ever again in the future.

Yeah, we know.

We'Re in the future.

We lived through that already.

No.

Oh. Oh my God. Oh, you're right. Oh, it would have made a lot more sense to go to the past, huh?

Stupid idiot. Yeah, then you could have warned me. Giant. Yeah, giant. Giant waste of a time machine.

You know what? I should have gone back in time. And my mom. Yeah.

Yes, that's the movie. But here we are in the present. We're in the present. Yes. Which I'm assuming is.

2095 or.

Um. It's 2025.

Oh.

Yeah. Well, you look great.

It's been a long time.

I can see how you made the mistake, but it's been a long. But you know what, man? It's unbelievable to see you, I gotta say. How did you get here? Did you like jump in a hot tub time machine or is it a. A hot. A hot tub? I'm sorry, what is that now? It's the title of a hit movie that you will eventually star in. Hot Tub Time Machine. Yeah. Yeah. Jesus.

Wow. Sounds like my career really went down the toilet, huh? But hey, clearly not yours. John, I would like to. To congratulate you on hosting this television program for 26 years straight without interruption. Yeah. Oh.

What a run. What a run. I always figured, you know, you'd get antsy and leave to host a less popular version of this very show on a prestigious but little watched competitor.

It was not viewed by many, but at least it was more expensive to make. Look, Rob.

I don't think you time traveled all the way here to just talk about my career. No, no. Yeah, I came back to warn you about the Iraq thing, but apparently you still know everything.

Anyway, you know, since I'm here, maybe you can update me on some of my favorite people, huh? Like, okay. Hey, how is my comedy idol, Bill Cosby doing.

America's dad?

Not great. Oh, geez. Okay, okay. Ah. Now how about my favorite actor, Kevin Spacey? He's fine. He's totally fine.

Not great. Wow. Not great. Wow. Okay. All right. How about my favorite reality show, the Apprentice? I mean, that one.

That one's still going. That show is a who? Yeah, it's not on the air anymore. What? Really? Yeah. What has happened to this place? It's a dystopia. I mean, you're fired. You're fired. So good. It's so good. I can watch that guy. I could watch that guy all day, every single day for the rest of my life. Proud Cordray, everybody. When we come back. Welcome every day, every day for the rest of life.

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[Malala Yousafzai]

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[John Stewart]

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[Malala Yousafzai]

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[John Stewart]

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[Malala Yousafzai]

Avocado dream of better.

[John Stewart]

What about the dancer? I guess tonight she's a Nobel peace prize laureate, education activist and best selling author whose new memoir is called Finding My Way. Please welcome back to the program Malala Yousafzai.

[Malala Yousafzai]

Nice to see you.

[John Stewart]

Nice to see you.

Hello.

[Malala Yousafzai]

Hello. How have you been?

[John Stewart]

I'm. I haven't seen you.

[Malala Yousafzai]

I know.

[John Stewart]

You were. When you came on the show, it was. You were 16 years old.

[Malala Yousafzai]

I know. I was a teenager and so much has changed in my life since then.

[John Stewart]

Yes.

[Malala Yousafzai]

I'm in my late 20s now. I have graduated from college, I got married. I do my work for girls education, I'm working on women's sports. I published a new memoir and I'm not scared of dogs anymore.

[John Stewart]

To be fair.

My dog used to follow me around the office and he was a three legged pit bull, a brindle pit bull. And Malala had just face down obviously the Taliban. But she, she never crossed anybody like Dipper before. So. So that it was a little scary.

[Malala Yousafzai]

Yeah. So, so much has changed in my life. How have you been?

[John Stewart]

Very much the same.

Not at all. Has. Not much. You know, my kids now, they were. They were little when you were here. Now they're off at college and I'm. I'm an empty nester. I. My wife and I, we sit around and we watch a lot of Netflix.

Are you watching here's what I loved about the memoir, you at such a young age, we elevated you not because it wasn't spectacular what you did, but we did make you a two dimensional caricature. And the book humanizes and three dimensionalizes you in a way that's really rewarding to see.

[Malala Yousafzai]

Yeah. You know, I thought I was supposed to live my life a certain way. Yeah, it's, you know, it's quite rare to be called a Nobel Peace Prize laureate and an education activist when you are still a teenager. And I thought it means that I have to live a perfect life now. I have to be a perfect daughter, a perfect person. I cannot get anything wrong and that I'm supposed to know the answer to everything in my life, that I can't make mistakes. But I realized that, you know, that was not the true me, that I didn't have to sacrifice friendship and so much of my normal life. So when I went to college, that's when I changed everything. Because at school, you know, at this high school in the uk, I struggled to make friends. By the end of my high school, I had only made one friend, and that's because she fell out with her best friend. I was brought to the UK for my treatment, and then I had to adjust to a new life. So in college, I said, you know what, I want to do this differently. I signed up for every club in every society because I wanted to meet as many students as possible so that I could make some friends. And I had signed up for like the Pakistan Society and Christian society, Hindu society, Muslim society. And I was like, just go everywhere. We'll find someone.

[John Stewart]

Now, did that ever get confusing at some point?

[Malala Yousafzai]

Not at all.

[John Stewart]

No. You kept going. You signed up for rowing.

[Malala Yousafzai]

Yes.

[John Stewart]

You rowed.

[Malala Yousafzai]

That was a big mistake.

[John Stewart]

Yes.

[Malala Yousafzai]

Yeah. It's because you have to be up very early and I'm not a morning person.

[John Stewart]

That's true.

[Malala Yousafzai]

And you need to know how to swim. Yeah.

So that was my first and last experience.

[John Stewart]

Yes. No, it makes sense.

[Malala Yousafzai]

But this is how desperate I was because I was really scared that college would become another of those times for me where I don't make any friends. And I just was so tired of my serious life that I was supposed to live. And I felt that, why do I have to make sacrifices on a normal life? So at college, I just wanted to be a student more than anything. And then I became a bit reckless as well, because I said, you know what? I don't just want to be a student. I want to be a cool student. So I, you know, I heard about rooftop climbing. I went for that.

[John Stewart]

Boom.

[Malala Yousafzai]

I heard about students you blew off.

[John Stewart]

Classes, didn't take essays. I read the book. I know what happened. There's some.

[Malala Yousafzai]

Yeah. And there was a bad boy as well. Who?

[John Stewart]

There was a bad boy.

[Malala Yousafzai]

It was my first crush. Yes, I know.

[John Stewart]

Your first crush. I'm reading it and I'm just like, oh, Malala. Yeah, it's this guy and he smokes cigarettes and he shows up in your room every now and again to eat ramen. And you give him food and he takes it and he doesn't give you any money. And I was like, he's no good for you.

[Malala Yousafzai]

Yeah. I wish we had talked then.

[John Stewart]

Yes.

And then your professors, because you're also still doing your work with women's education and all these things. And your professors are, you know, grading you poorly because you didn't get an essay done. But did you ever want to go to them and go like, I'm sorry, I was speaking at the Hague. Right. You had this whole other life you were living.

[Malala Yousafzai]

It was quite challenging to balance the advocacy life, but also being a student. And as I said in college, like, they tell you that you can only have two of the three. Study, sleep and social life. And I chose one social life. I just wanted to be with my friends forever. Like late nights conversations, gossiping, talking about boys, any topic. I knew that these moments will never come back. And I was feeling that these three years of my college are going to be so precious. Like, my parents are not around. I can decide, like I can do anything. And I love that. And I made friends for the first time and I found that comfort zone. Like I felt that I didn't have to think twice before what I said. And I could make mistakes. I can be silly. And I reconnected with that person that I was growing up in Pakistan. I was a very, like, mischievous, funny, and I had a lot of friends.

[John Stewart]

That's what you said in the book that I found so interesting is that your life before this fame and image was thrust upon you due to this attack is you were mischievous, you liked to gossip, you and your friends. Like, that was the thing you said you missed the most.

[Malala Yousafzai]

Yes. I mean, yes. Who doesn't like gossiping? So.

[John Stewart]

I'm with you and it sucks. And I thought it was interesting because not only was the world placing this expectation on you, but also coming from the culture that you come from, it's a very conservative culture, especially with regards to women. One thing I thought was so interesting is, you know, you're talking about the fear you had about having someone take your picture if you were going to be dancing or maybe talking to a boy or maybe not having a headscarf on or those things that would be considered. And then you'd be like, meanwhile, my brothers are playing video games and getting high in the basement. And I thought, well, that is, how did they get to do that? And so much was on you.

[Malala Yousafzai]

So I was very careful in the early days of college, and I said, you know what? Anything can be taken out of context. So I'm going to stay away from all of these things, partying, whatever. And then one day when I was coming back from rowing, somebody took a picture of me where in the photo, I'm wearing skinny jeans and a bomber jacket and my headscarf and this whole flash. Yeah. And there was this whole controversy on social media calling me out and saying that I had brought shame to the country and I was more like Westernized, and I was no longer representing my culture. And I remember having this conversation with my parents, who were, like, freaking out, and I told them that I'm in college for studying to be a normal student. I'm not here for some pilgrimage. Firstly, I'm not here to represent anything. But also I reminded them that when my brother moved to the uk, they immediately switched to jeans and T shirts. And we did not receive a single call from relatives or any backlash. And then they were worried about, you know, how are we going to respond to that? And I said, I'm not going to respond to any of this because people will always have something to say about what we wear our headscarf to our jeans. So the best thing to do is keep wearing jeans. And that's the best response.

[John Stewart]

Right. So fantastic. Now.

In those times.

There'S so many different things. Were you more nervous about a backlash from conservative people in Pakistan? Were you more concerned about a social media backlash, or were you more concerned about your mom? Like, which out of those three.

[Malala Yousafzai]

Yeah.

[John Stewart]

Which one weighed?

[Malala Yousafzai]

You know, I have seen social media backlash many, many times, and I have learned to live with it, honestly. Like, if it's a good feedback, I take it with me. But a lot of the times, the attempt is to stop us and to silence us from our work. And I'm like, that's never gonna happen. And I'm like, I hope they get tired of typing the hateful comments. Like, they will. They'll get tired. But then, on the other hand, is my mom. And I can never argue with my mom.

[John Stewart]

She's gonna Be tired of typing.

[Malala Yousafzai]

No, she. Typing, speaking. Whatever you call the look that she gives you. And I am, like, terrified when I'm in front of my mom. So I think with my mom, I have these conversations. And I know that she had a very different childhood in her village. None of her sisters or friends or she herself could go to school. I even asked her in the recent years what her dream was growing up.

[John Stewart]

I thought that story was heartbreaking, actually.

[Malala Yousafzai]

Tell us. Her dream was to just find the right guy who would be a nice husband and who would just get her, like, nice food and she could go shopping. And I said, but no, Mom. Like, what was your dream? And there was no answer. And that broke my heart that there has been a generation or many generations of women who never even had dreams for themselves. So she was always trying to protect me because they had seen the worst things happen to girls if they dare to disobey any of the norms.

[John Stewart]

So.

[Malala Yousafzai]

But, you know, sometimes it was always like an argument between us, like, what am I wearing? What am I doing? Yeah. But in the end, we sort of resolve it.

[John Stewart]

Right, right. And come together. Yeah. It's lovely that way. And it is. It's the kind of thing, too, because every community that wants to claim you as their own also sets this expectation for you of who you're supposed to be. Even within, I'm sure, the activist communities. My guess is their criticism now is, you don't do enough. You've got to do more here. Or why don't you speak out about this? Or now you've gone, you know, bougie or soft, or now you don't. Is that the thing that you now have to block out and just focus on? Cause I know. Congratulations to you on your school.

[Malala Yousafzai]

Yeah.

[John Stewart]

They just graduated their first class.

[Malala Yousafzai]

Yes. So it's in the north of Pakistan.

[John Stewart]

Huzzah. That's amazing.

[Malala Yousafzai]

Yeah. So I started this school with the Nobel Peace Prize money, and it was my dream to make a school in the village of my parents where there was no high school. And I said, if we can make a school in this marginalized, mountainous area that is often left behind, we can make a school anywhere in the world. So the school finally had the first class graduate this year. And I met those girls, and it was empowering for the whole community because those girls are changing history, they're changing culture. They're going to universities now. And the school is amazing because they have mental health support and they play chess and they play different games. And I just love that it was a state of the art school. So I'm really excited for the difference we're making for girls, but I'm committed to making a difference for girls through education, through creating more opportunities. And I have been an activist for a very long time. I have seen what works, what works for a while, but doesn't work anymore. I have also seen sometimes that statements actually fall short, like these words sometimes don't mean anything. And I always think about, how can we make real power shift? And I believe we have to empower local activists. And this is the whole model of Malala Fund, the fundraising we do. The money goes directly to local education activists, because the work that my father and I did in our hometown, there are so many activists around the world who are doing that work on the ground, making a difference for girls. And I believe that we can see a change. We can see more girls in schools by supporting them.

[John Stewart]

And you can't be everything to everybody. It's just not a realistic. That for me, the takeaway of all this is so much of what you dealt with were our projections onto you and the unfairness of all of that and what that did. You know, you write very movingly and openly about mental health.

[Malala Yousafzai]

Yeah.

[John Stewart]

And the PTSD that came along. How did you get. Forget about the courage to do what you did in terms of education, the courage to go and speak to somebody about the difficulties you were having?

[Malala Yousafzai]

So, yeah, I. I got therapy seven years after the Taliban attack. And in my first therapy session, I told my therapist all of the challenges that I was going through, including the flashbacks of the Taliban attack and many, many panic attacks for months. And then I told the therapist, here's all my problems. Now give me the medication.

I was of this view that, you know, that it's always medication and surgeries that are supposed to treat you and help you recover. I even remember that I was offered therapy as part of my initial treatment to recover from the Taliban injury, but I refused to get it because I thought that I'm supposed to be called brave and courageous, and asking for help makes me feel weak.

[John Stewart]

So you took that identity on, even for yourself. You internalized.

[Malala Yousafzai]

I thought I had to live up to this definition, but then I realized that actually true bravery is still doing what you believe in, even when you are scared.

[John Stewart]

Right. Hard to do, though. And did you find.

That process, you were able to get a better balance for yourself?

[Malala Yousafzai]

Yeah, absolutely. I felt that this was this unfinished part of my recovery, and I got therapy many, many years later. But I'm so grateful that I received.

[John Stewart]

That support and now you married us. I read about him in the book.

[Malala Yousafzai]

Yes.

[John Stewart]

And then I met him backstage. And do you mind me saying this? Bit of a dreamboat.

A little dreamy. Very nice. But you struggled even with that, with the.

[Malala Yousafzai]

Well, I always aim high.

[John Stewart]

You got to gotta aim high.

[Malala Yousafzai]

Yes.

[John Stewart]

That's the way to do these things. But even in that, it was a little like there were some dynamics there that you weren't quite sure you ever wanted to get married. You had done these things. It took a bit.

[Malala Yousafzai]

I know, absolutely. Because when I was a kid, I decided that I will never get married.

[John Stewart]

You decided that as a kid?

[Malala Yousafzai]

Because I saw many girls lose their education and their dreams because they were forced into marriages.

[John Stewart]

Oh.

[Malala Yousafzai]

And as I got older, I realized that women oftentimes have to make more compromises. And I said, like, just stay away from marriage. Your life will have less problems. But then I see this guy and he's very, very handsome and all of that. So.

That'S when I had to reconsider my take on this issue. And of course, it's not that my concerns have gone away, but in the end, it was about this mutual understanding between the two of us. We both have brought more joy into each other's lives. But yes, you know, it's a bigger conversation. And before, like, the marriage, I was like, even reading feminist authors like bell hooks, I was like, maybe she can help me out, Virginia Woolf.

[John Stewart]

It's always good when the woman you're gonna marry is reading a little bell hooks. That's always. Yes.

[Malala Yousafzai]

Yeah. But I do remember I was in my friends group. I was the one who told all of my friends, never get married. And I was the first one to get married.

[John Stewart]

Really? Now, did they come to your wedding and be like, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Well, it is. It's a fantastic look into the three dimensional life of really an activist icon in our era. And it's so appreciated that you would put it out there. And I hope that you got everything out of it that you wanted to.

[Malala Yousafzai]

Yeah, absolutely. I hope that people will know me more by reading this book. And this is the most personal reflections I have ever shared. This is about my life navigating my way through college. I talk about mental health and friendships and I talk about how I am leading my life, doing advocacy and work for all girls who do not have equal opportunities. Most importantly for the Afghan girls who are banned from their education right now. It's been more than four and a half years, so. So we keep the fight going.

[John Stewart]

Keep it going. And the chapter on Afghanistan and the Taliban is devastating. It comes towards the end of the book when you find out that they've retaken it and devastating. But it's a wonderful piece of writing, so thank you for sharing it.

[Malala Yousafzai]

Thank you. Thank you so much.

[John Stewart]

Very nice. Malala yourself. Finding a Way available now, Malala. And then we're going to take a quick break and we will be back. Find a way.

Foreign.

[Malala Yousafzai]

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[John Stewart]

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[Malala Yousafzai]

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[John Stewart]

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[Malala Yousafzai]

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[John Stewart]

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That is our show. Before we go, we're going to talk about Jordan Klepper. Jordan's latest special airs immediately after tonight's show. It's Banger Jordan. Tell us a little bit more about the special. Well, John, in this special, I travel to naked protests in Portland, Maga rallies in Mississippi and all the way to Norway to see if Donald Trump should win the Nobel Peace Prize. Well. Well, should he? Well, I'll give you a little hint, John. You can't spell Nobel without. No, no.

Shit. You got it. You are good. Son of a bitch, you are good. That's good.

What were you thinking? It was. Honestly, I had no idea. I was just kind of winging it. I was thinking Nobel maybe. That's Swedish. How do we play this? Hadn't done a whole lot of research on this. Then you come out right out of the gate, just bang. Like a Keelan the bee over here, huh? And oh, new Jordan Crow right after the show. And tuning on this week. Ronnie Chang tomorrow, Desi Lytic Wednesday, Michael Costa Thursday.

Explore more shows from the Daily show podcast universe by searching the Daily Show. Wherever you get your podcasts, watch the Daily show weeknights at 1110 Central on Comedy Central. And stream full episodes anytime on Paramount plus.

This has been a Comedy Central podcast.

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