Transcript
Jon Stewart (0:01)
You're listening to Comedy Central. Now, whoever our next president may be will face many challenges, especially in the foreign policy arena. The greatest of which may be how to deal with the overwhelming volume of goodwill left over from still President Bush's, let's call it two term democracy spreading jamboree. To examine the bounty one of these lucky contenders will be reaping, we check in with our new segment, fruits of Democracy. Tonight, our latest democratic offspring, Iraq. Did you know our baby turns five this month? And you're not going to believe this, she's already having playdates. Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad became the first Middle Eastern leader to visit Iraq since Saddam Hussein fell of, let's say, natural causes. Now, obviously, a visit from the Iranian leader to Iraq prompts some concern. And still, President Bush has a clear message he'd like the Iraqis to deliver to Ahmadinejad. The message needs to be, you know, quit sending in sophisticated equipment that's killing our citizens. Stop exporting terror. That the international community is serious about continuing to isolate Iran. Strong message to send, but the Iraqi government owes us. I mean, they owe their life to us. Certainly, the president's message will be delivered. Here's Ahmadinejad getting off the plane. Obviously, they're going to hit him. No sugar coating, just direct and stern. Listen, Mother. Wait, what? Okay, there appears to be kissing. All right, now, here's where they execute him. No. He's being greeted by a child with flowers. Okay. A red carpet and a child with flowers. Okay, okay. To the untrained eye, that may appear to be gracious, maybe even a warm welcome. But I do want to point out that that little girl gave him chrysanthemums. And everyone knows he's an orchid guy, so that's a bit of a. You okay? That's a nice reception there. Let's compare that to what happens when our president visits. He has to arrive unannounced, under cover of night. Is it me, or did Al Qaeda blow up the sun? What? It's just nighttime. Phew. I say few out loud. Phew. Not a lot of people read that. Phew. Not only did Ahmadinejad announce his arrival in advance, but he was able to drive the infamous airport road that our people can only chop her over, walk flak jacketless outside the Green Zone, and visit some of Iraq's holiest sites, which we are not allowed into. Hey, Iraq, can we. What are you doing? It's your old buddy, us. Maybe we didn't make this clear, but we think the guy from Iran is a bit of an Ahmadikinajad. Um. And we're out there all day with the surging and you're back there sharing sweetbreads with Johnny Leisure Coat. Did you think we wouldn't find out? I don't wanna. I don't wanna say anything, but one phone call and you get this. That's right. We can put those statues right back where we found them after we built you an entire green zone. We could have gone with any color, but you wanted green, we wanted lavender.
