Transcript
A (0:00)
Hey, comedy fans, the funniest comedians in the world are on tour and you can get tickets to see them live near you. Laugh at the biggest names in comedy like Atsuko Okotsuka, Chelsea Handler, Jimmy Carr, Kathy Griffin, Matt Matthews, Matt Rife, Sarah Silverman, Sebastian Maniscalco, Stavros Helkias, Wanda Sykes, and so many more. All kinds of shows, all kinds of venues, all kinds of funny. Head to livenation.comcomedy to get your tickets today. That's livenation.comcomedy.
B (0:30)
Hey, everybody. Jon Stewart here. I am here to tell you about my new podcast, the weekly show. It's going to be coming out every Thursday. So exciting. You'll, you'll be saying to yourself, tgit, thank God it's Thursday. We're going to be talking about all the things that hopefully obsess you in the same way that they obsess me. The election, economics, earnings calls. What are they talking about on these earnings calls? We're going to be talking about ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches. And I know that I listed that fourth, but in importance, it's probably second. I know you have a lot of options as far as podcasts go, but how many of them come out on Thursday? I mean, talk about innovative. Listen to the weekly show with Jon Stewart wherever you get your podcasts.
A (1:30)
Hey, everyone, Desi Lydic here. The Daily show is on break for the holidays, but in the meantime, we put together some special highlights for you. We'll be back in the New Year on January 7th with all new episodes.
B (1:47)
What do you think about young people getting all of their information and entertainment from social media? I see no problem with it. Why would you? It seems great. Is that true? I mean, I don't know. Because obviously TV is dying. Don't. What? No, don't, sir. Well, let me ask you a question. In your mind, seeing as I work on television, will I die first? Because if that's the case, I don't mind. But don't you still watch TV, but you just watch it on your computer, on TikTok, on your phone? Right. But you understand that that's still tv. It's just you're watching it in a different delivery service. It's like heroin is heroin. Whether you snort it or shoot it, it's still an opiate for the masses, as is television. You're just getting it in smaller bites. But it's still, it's like it's still tv. We make it. Unless you have the look on your face like this poor boy, if he only knew the business he was in. Well, I hope we don't die quickly, but. And stay. And you're here and we're making TV for you tonight. Welcome to the Daily Show. I'm your host, Jon Stewart, captain of this dying medium. Why would you even say that to me? I had a gentleman tell me tonight. He said, oh, I'm so happy to be here. You know, your television is dying. I said, I am aware and in fact, I'm contributing to it. You're welcome. Out of all the interviews that you've had these many years, there's one that stands out as the most profound. Oh, most profound interview. Well, so I've interviewed people like literal dictators, like people that have killed people like Pervez. I don't know if you remember, Pervez Musharraf was the leader of Pakistan and this was post 9 11, so. And. And Al Qaeda had been threatening him with an assassination. Now I've had great like Malala Yousafzai and Bishop Desmond Tutu, Jimmy Carter, like people of pure goodness. Like you just, they, they vibrate on a different plane of kindness and goodness than most people. And you can feel it on them. And then you have dictators, slightly different vibe. So Pervez Musharraf, it was only memorable because. So he was at the time the president of Pakistan and he was under assassination threat. He'd just written a book and it was his autobiography, I think. And so he came here to the show to promote it. And that day we had snipers on the roof, we had AK47s in the hallway, guys marching. We had bomb dogs, we had. I mean, it was a level of security that I had never seen before. And I realized, like, this man is risking his life to tell his story on this show. I should have read the book. That's what I remember thinking is I thought, I thought, oh, shit, I feel terrible. Now. There's this guy's. He. He could die. And I'm just gonna be like, so is Pakistan hot? Like, I didn't know shit. But the cr. So the crazy part was, even with all that security layer right in the studio, they put a Kevlar front on the desk. Like, this was no bullshit. This was. Many of you are younger, so you don't remember after 9 11, like we all lost our minds safety wise. So like, so they put a Kevlar front on the Daily show desk. And I'm in there and I'm looking at it and I say, because there are Secret Service agents from both countries, America and Pakistan in the room. And I Go, what's. So tell me about this. What's going on? And they said, well, if somebody manages to get through any kind of security issues and tries to assassinate President Musharraf, we will jump and push him down below the Kevlar to protect him from the bullets. And I said, you know, funny thing is, I'm also, you know, because he, you know, I understand. He'll be there, and then I'll be sitting there. What should I do? Without missing a beat, a New York City cop walked by and he goes, you should fucking duck. I started watching you on MTV back in. Oh, dear God. Now, you were. These are one of those that are always rough because, like, I was six years old, you would come on my pa, and I. I'm just so curious. Yeah. You know, knowing what you know now, you know, if you went back to, you know, the early 90s, is there.
