Transcript
Jon Stewart (0:01)
You're listening to Comedy Central. October 13, 2008. From Comedy Central's World News headquarters in New York, this is the Daily show with Jon Stewart. Welcome to the Dallas Show. My name is Jon Stewart. I hope everybody had a great weekend there. For a second I thought everybody was leaving. Tonight on the show, we got a good one. Author Amity Schlaiz is going to be joining us. She has written a book on the Great Depression or as it's soon to be known, the First Great Depression. GD1. Now, it might seem strange to be discussing an economic downturn today as the Dow Jones Industrial was up nearly a billion points. It was up 1000 points on rumors that money does in fact grow on trees. That's what they were spreading around. It was very exciting. Everybody was excited for one day to see the stockbrokers jumping up into their windows. Tomorrow, of course, the dow will be down 500 because we are being with. But no matter what happens, there's still good fun to be had during these tough economic times. I know it's rough, the economy, but there's going to be an amusing tidbit if you just look hard enough. For instance, how about an unbelievably inappropriately named financial analyst. The stock market is open tomorrow, Columbus Day. And Art Cashin, director of floor trading for ubs. Art Cash in. How beautiful is that? And after Art Cash in, we go to rob a bank. That's the best, the best thing I saw in all this terrible news. Cash In. I shouldn't have laughed. Actually. My real name is John Smartass. Douchebag Stein. And financial advisors don't just have funny names. They're also presented on the financial networks in a humorous fashion. A few weeks ago we showed you CNBC's incredible OctaBox technology. Octabox. It's named of course for its creator, German scientist Heinrich Octobox. That's right. That's another funny name we're working on Columbus Day. Where you at? The Octabox, of course, unveiled when seven commentators couldn't properly analyze the situation. But these are tough times. What if eight pundits isn't enough? What if the enormity of this economic collapse is so huge that even 8 of the financial industry's smallest headed people can't figure it out. Ladies and gentlemen, for the first time ever on CNBC, behold the majesty of the decabox. 10 pundits, 10 boxes. I cannot believe we ever as a society got by with just eight. Now, I know what you're thinking. I see nine or More boxes at the same time. I. I better see Bruce in one of those squares. And who knows? Maybe he's in one of these boxes. I can't make out any of their faces. Maybe 10 is too much. Maybe we're just not ready. Maybe one of them has to go, and there's really only one fair way to do it. All right, Chuck, you ready? No whammies, no whammies, no whammies, no whammies, no whammies. And stop. No. That was. That was. That was a long walk for that joke. Anyway, that was Vince Farrell, CIO of Soleil securities Group Incorporated, who I thought had added a lot to the conversation up to that point. So what are we going to do to ease the credit crunch and get banks loaning money again? Well, last month, Treasury Secretary Paulson made clear what we won't do. Thank you.