The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Episode: TDS Time Machine | Thanksgiving
Date: November 26, 2025
Host: Jon Stewart & The Daily Show News Team

Overview

This special Thanksgiving episode of The Daily Show takes listeners on a comedic, critical, and sometimes poignant tour through the traditions, myths, controversies, and realities surrounding “America’s eating holiday.” Jon Stewart and the team blend classic satire with contemporary commentary, exploring the historical roots of Thanksgiving, its evolving significance, and the oddities and absurdities that surround it in modern culture. Memorable segments tackle everything from turkey pardoning, Native American perspectives, and weight loss drugs, to Macy’s Parade scandals, cultural debates about pies and shoes, and even alternative holidays.

Key Segments & Discussion Points

1. Thanksgiving Traditions: The Myth, The Meal, The Turkey

Starts ~ 01:06

• Jon Stewart opens with a signature sardonic take on Thanksgiving being about family, friends, and, failing that, turkey. The segment explores the oddly somber fate of “pardoned” turkeys, with a darkly comic interview with a farmer who reveals: “We try to keep them as comfortable as possible and let them do what they were supposed to do, which is die.” (~02:30)
• Street interviews with kids highlight what they’re thankful for (“The poodle that I sleep with,” “Underwear,” “The food”). A quick aside about America’s obesity crisis morphs into a humorous acknowledgement: “More turkey for me.” (~04:40)
• The show then turns to the historical narrative, questioning the sanitized story of colonists and Native Americans. Native guest George Stonefish explains Thanksgiving is viewed by many Native Americans as a “national day of mourning,” referencing mass death from disease and colonization:

  “Native Americans identify Thanksgiving as a national day of mourning because their lands have been taken and they have been oppressed… Pilgrims brought syphilis, smallpox… killed off 90, 95% of the population.” (~06:20)

2. Produce Pete (Steve Carell): Culinary Curiosities

Starts ~08:00

• Steve Carell (as “Produce Pete”) gives an over-the-top lesson on making traditional succotash with comic specificity.

  “Never use a yellow rutabaga… you will ruin the succotash. You will ruin Thanksgiving.” (~08:40)

3. Thanksgiving in the Age of Ozempic: Satirical Health Updates

Starts ~09:30

• Jon skewers America’s conflicted relationship with feasting and new weight-loss drugs. News coverage of Ozempic and similar drugs raises the question: what do you do on the “eating holiday” if you’re not hungry anymore?
• Jokes lampoon Big Pharma’s invention of new drugs for every holiday eating scenario (“Ozempic for less eating, Gluttonyl to eat more, Happy Nerol to handle emotional awkwardness, and Compoxo to fix metabolism.”).

  “You inject Ozempic in your thigh, you inject Gluttonyl in your neck, and boom, you’re deep throatin’ Aunt Karen’s fingerlings all night long.” – Michael Kosta (~11:00)

4. Macy’s Parade Mishaps and Media Censorship

Starts ~15:50

• Jon comments on the “white man’s dominion over Native Americans” as displayed in the Macy’s Parade, noting the cartoonish spectacle of giant balloons.

• A real-life accident where an M&M balloon injures bystanders is humorously recounted—and the focus is on NBC’s decision to cover it up with old parade footage:

  “If you were watching NBC’s live coverage… you didn’t see or hear anything about the accident… Instead, they reran last year’s footage.” (~16:20)

• Historic parallels are drawn to the Hindenburg disaster and old-school news media.

5. CP Time: Black Contributions to Thanksgiving

Starts ~18:35

• Roy Wood Jr. explains the overlooked Black history of Thanksgiving—including a “blackamoor” among the pilgrims, chef James Hemings’ invention of mac and cheese, and pioneering Black football players.

  “James [Hemings] introduced… macaroni and cheese. … My doctor says I got five years to live, but it’s gonna be a delicious five years.” (~21:30)

• Football as “the holiday tradition that lets you spend time with your family without talking to them.”

6. Thanksgiving Debates: ‘Prove Me Wrong!’ Street Arguments

Starts ~23:25

• The team hits the street for rapid-fire, improv-style arguments about Thanksgiving’s ranking as a holiday, St. Patrick’s Day, family dynamics, and more:
  • “Thanksgiving is the worst holiday. I said it.”
  • “Family gets together. I’m grateful. Peeling vegetables with family!”
  • Bizarre debates on shoe buckles (“Pilgrims nailed it...the first time”) and the criminal neglect of pumpkin pie as a year-round option:

    “Pumpkin pie should replace apple pie as a year-round pie. Prove me wrong.” / “Pumpkin has no taste.”

  • Spirited defense of apple pie as “Mom and America,” and pumpkin pie as “just a piece of crap.”

7. Budget Thanksgiving: Satirical Life Hacks with Desi Lydic

Starts ~33:05

• Desi Lydic provides absurd tips for Thanksgiving dinner under inflation:

  • Buy “factory reject turkeys” with “three necks.”
  • Find “gently used turkeys” on Craigslist.
  • Trace your hand, roast it, and pretend it’s turkey.
  • “Stuffing” comes from your kid’s teddy bear.
  • “Mashed potato” is chewed and passed around the table (“they’re mashed anyway”).
  • “Budget wine” is replaced with “paint thinner” (“detecting notes of my garage”).
  • “Dessert” is made from pumpkin spice candle wax—“wax is not digestible, so no worries there!”

• The ultimate advice: “Just do what the pilgrims did—steal.”

8. The Culture Wars: Parade Gender Panic

Starts ~39:00

• Jon addresses backlash over Macy’s Parade’s featuring nonbinary Broadway stars:

  “Did I miss something? Did we solve world hunger? Is war over? Cause a stranger’s genitals in a parade is literally the last thing someone should be worrying about right now.”
  “Y’all do so much complaining. That’s why your turkey tastes like burnt asshole.” (~39:50)

• Dulcé Sloan live at the parade riffs on public obsession with parade balloon anatomy:

  “Do they need to see Clifford’s big red dong coming down the street?”
  “Parades are gay, all right? To their core.”
  “What about a Klan march? Still pretty gay. That marching is choreography. Those robes, that’s a costume.” (~40:30-42:00)

9. Thanksgiving vs. Evacuation Day: Historical Context with Sarah Vowell

Starts ~44:55

• Acclaimed writer Sarah Vowell joins to dissect Thanksgiving’s origins and offer “Evacuation Day” as a superior, forgotten holiday.

  “Evacuation Day commemorates the last British troops fleeing Manhattan at the end of the Revolutionary War… The British occupied our beloved New York for the next seven years.”
  “More American soldiers died in British prison ships than in all the battles of the war combined.”
  “When Lincoln made Thanksgiving a national holiday, Evacuation Day ended up like… a show scheduled opposite American Idol.”
  “Evacuation Day celebrates the weaselly slinking back of the British sons of bitches to the pathetic scumbag kingdom they called home. Good grief.” (~47:30-49:40)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the national myth: “Thanksgiving—when Americans clog up airports and arteries. But maybe this year, times are changing.” – Jon Stewart (~09:00)
• On Ozempic anxiety: “Big Pharma created a drug to help Americans eat less, and now they’re anxious about what to do on the eating holiday.” – Jon Stewart (~10:00)
• On pumpkin pie: “Nobody likes pumpkin pie. It doesn’t make you feel good. It doesn’t make you feel homey. It just doesn’t. It doesn’t do anything for you. It’s just a piece of crap.” (~26:40)
• On the parade culture war: “Parades are gay, all right? To their core.” – Dulcé Sloan (~41:20)
• On alternative holidays:

  “Shouldn’t we thank [prisoners] instead of some Mayflower-cruisin’ Jesus freak corn rustlers?” – Sarah Vowell (~48:30)

Structure & Flow

• The episode seamlessly weaves together satirical commentary, man-on-the-street bits, faux news “field reports,” and historical insight—all with the show’s trademark blend of irreverence and thoughtfulness.
• There’s an undercurrent of “question the narrative,” whether about the calorie-laden feast, the treatment of indigenous peoples, the sanctity of American traditions, or the very meaning of gratitude.
• Shifts in tone—from zany (“deep throatin’ Aunt Karen’s fingerlings”) to earnest (“a national day of mourning”)—keep the episode dynamic.

Timestamps of Important Segments

• 01:06 — Opening satire on turkey pardoning and Thanksgiving myths
• 04:40 — Kids discuss what they’re thankful for; obesity joke
• 06:20 — Native perspective: “National Day of Mourning”
• 08:00 — Steve Carell as Produce Pete: “Never use a yellow rutabaga”
• 09:30–13:40 — Health commentary, Ozempic, and Thanksgiving
• 15:50–17:40 — Macy’s Parade coverage, balloon accident, media spin
• 18:35–22:30 — CP Time: Black history and Thanksgiving
• 23:25–32:35 — ‘Prove Me Wrong’ debates on the street (worst holiday, pie wars)
• 33:05–36:30 — Desi Lydic’s “Budget Thanksgiving” hacks
• 39:00–42:00 — Parade gender controversies, Dulcé Sloan’s field report
• 44:55–49:40 — Sarah Vowell: Evacuation Day, revolutionary history

Takeaways

• Thanksgiving is both cherished and lampooned: a source of familial love, manufactured history, commercialism, and cultural contest.
• The Daily Show team invites listeners to interrogate—through humor—how we remember the past, what holidays mean, and the wild contradictions of American tradition.