TDS Time Machine | The Pope

Summary

The Daily Show: Ears Edition - "TDS Time Machine | The Pope" Summary

In the episode titled "TDS Time Machine | The Pope," The Daily Show delves into the global repercussions following the passing of Pope John Paul II. Hosted by Jon Stewart and featuring correspondents like Ed Helms and Scott McClellan, the episode masterfully blends satire with poignant commentary on religious, political, and social issues surrounding the Catholic Church's leadership transition.

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Global Tributes Following Pope John Paul II’s Death

The episode opens with a heartfelt overview of the worldwide tributes poured in after the death of Pope John Paul II. Jon Stewart highlights the diverse responses from various nations:

• Argentina: Leaders attend church services, showcasing the Pope's significant influence in South America.

• Mexico: President Vicente Fox makes a formal visit to his country's Vatican embassy, underlining diplomatic ties.

• Brazil: Particularly in Rio de Janeiro, passionate soccer fans mourn, depicting the Pope's deep connection with communities beyond the church hierarchy.

• Italy: Rome becomes the epicenter of mourning, with millions flocking to St. Peter's Cathedral. However, the event is marred by logistical challenges, such as inadequate facilities, humorously noted by Stewart:

  "It's incomprehensible cinema. Probably would have been better off with just more toilets. Now what are you going to do?" [02:00]

The segment underscores the global impact of the Pope's death, blending genuine reverence with comedic undertones about the chaotic funeral preparations.

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On-the-Ground Report from Rome

Enter Ed Helms, portrayed as the "papal correspondent," who provides a satirical yet insightful report from Rome:

• Crowd Management: Helms jokes about the Italian organizational prowess, comparing handling millions of pilgrims to a poorly managed Fiat on the highway:

  "As you know, the Italians are famous for their organizational skills. They're handling this sudden influx of 3 million pilgrims like a Fiat handles on the autostrada." [04:06]

• Facilities: He humorously critiques the provision of amenities:

  "Officials are handing out bottled water, setting up porta potties, and perhaps even more important, porta confessionals. As it turns out, 99% of all sins happen on pilgrimages." [04:24]

Helms' playful commentary paints a vivid picture of the bustling chaos in Rome, emphasizing both the fervor of the pilgrims and the logistical nightmares faced by organizers.

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White House’s Attempt to Align with the Pope's Legacy

The episode shifts focus to the White House, where Press Secretary Scott McClellan attempts to align President’s views with those of the late Pope:

• Culture of Life: McClellan emphasizes shared values, stating,

  "The Holy Father was someone who stood for freedom, for human dignity, and promoting a culture of life." [06:06]

• Political Spin: Stewart critiques the administration's selective highlighting of the Pope's beliefs, especially when they diverge on key issues:

  "You've done it. The Pope and the President one and the Same. Yes." [06:36]

This segment satirizes the often superficial attempts by political figures to co-opt religious figures' legacies for political gain, highlighting the inherent contradictions.

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The Pope’s Modern Approach: Social Media and Conclave Satire

Jon Stewart delves into the Pope's unexpected foray into modern communication platforms:

• Twitter Presence: The Pope's use of Twitter is mocked for its incongruity with traditional papal image:

  "Pope Benedict XVI chooses his Twitter account. I had to go with a chef's hat and a 20 year old iMac for some reason." [10:34]

• Conclave Simulation: A humorous take on the rigorous and secretive conclave process is presented through a fake simulation program:

  "Pope secret. Aw, I am very. No, I can have. I can have Oprah disappear." [17:42]

These segments poke fun at the juxtaposition of ancient religious traditions with contemporary technology and media, highlighting the tensions between modernity and tradition within the Church.

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Election and Announcement of Pope Benedict XVI

The mock election process for the new pope is depicted with exaggerated dramatization:

• Voting Process: Stewart humorously interprets the conclave's voting procedures, likening it to a chaotic sports game:

  "If they don't, a simple majority will suffice. If that still doesn't do the trick, each side gets one possession from the 25-yard line with a minute on the clock." [16:22]

• Announcement: The culmination of the conclave is theatrically portrayed with exaggerated media reactions:

  "Fox News broke the story with the stunning words, 'We have a Pope. We have a Pope.'" [20:32]

• New Pope Introduction: The election of Pope Benedict XVI is introduced with flair, mixing reverence with comedic absurdity:

  "Pope John Paul II's longtime advisor stood adorned with papal vestments, Pope's signature white skull cap. And as he stood there before the adoring multitudes, it was then that he realized this is how Bono must feel with or without you." [22:00]

This portrayal satirizes the pomp and circumstance of papal elections, emphasizing the media's role in sensationalizing religious events.

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Pope Francis' Modern Actions and Environmental Stance

Transitioning to Pope Francis, the episode highlights his progressive actions and stance on contemporary issues:

• Humane Initiatives: Francis' act of washing the feet of prisoners, including a Muslim woman, is lauded as a departure from traditional practices:

  "Instead of washing the feet of 12 priests on Holy Thursday, the Pope disregarded Church custom and washed the feet of 12 prisoners, including a Muslim woman." [25:26]

• Environmental Encyclical: The Pope's 200-page document on climate change is the centerpiece of the discussion:

  "Pope Francis issued a nearly 200-page document casting climate change as a moral issue, not simply a political or economic debate." [30:32]

Stewart and Helms use humor to critique and analyze the Pope's progressive moves, juxtaposing them with traditional expectations and political ideologies.

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Political Satire on Pope’s Encyclical on Climate Change

The episode delves into the political ramifications of the Pope's environmental stance:

• Republican Backlash: Faith leaders like Joe Barton and others express skepticism towards the Pope's climate messages, equating them with political overreach:

  "Rick Santorum's so Catholic. He was an altar boy until like six weeks ago." [34:00]

• Capitalism vs. Morality: A satirical debate ensues between the show’s correspondents over free-market capitalism and the Pope's ethical appeals:

  "Free market capitalism on the right side of the Lord. Who says you can't serve both God and money?" [28:53]

• Corporate Influence: The role of corporations like Exxon in lobbying the Vatican is mocked, suggesting a humorous conflict of interest:

  "Exxon sent actually a senior lobbyist and another executive over to Rome." [35:35]

This segment lampoons the intersection of religion, politics, and corporate interests, highlighting the absurdities in aligning moral directives with economic policies.

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Final Reflections and Conclusion

As the episode draws to a close, Stewart reflects on the monumental changes within the Catholic Church:

• Adaptation vs. Tradition: He appreciates Pope Francis' efforts to modernize the Church and make it more relatable to younger generations, even as satire underscores potential pitfalls:

  "I love this guy. He's giving prisoners many Popeyes. We should call him Pope Raymond." [25:35]

• Enduring Influence: Despite the comedic lens, the episode acknowledges the enduring influence of the papacy in shaping moral and ethical discourse globally.

The conclusion ties together the episode's themes, blending humor with critical insights into the evolving role of the Catholic Church in contemporary society.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• John Stewart:

  "Officials are handing out bottled water, setting up porta potties, and perhaps even more important, porta confessionals. As it turns out, 99% of all sins happen on pilgrimages." [04:24]

• Ed Helms:

  "The Italians are handling this sudden influx of 3 million pilgrims like a Fiat handles on the autostrada." [04:06]

• Jon Stewart:

  "The Pope can't get a straight up Twitter handle. That is weak Twitter. That is Tweek." [10:34]

• Scott McClellan:

  "The Holy Father was someone who stood for freedom, for human dignity, and promoting a culture of life." [06:06]

• Ed Helms:

  "With this recreation, even you can be part of the action." [17:42]

• Jon Stewart:

  "Free market capitalism on the right side of the Lord. Who says you can't serve both God and money?" [28:53]

These quotes encapsulate the blend of humor and critique that defines the episode, providing listeners with memorable lines that underscore the show's central themes.

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Conclusion

"The Daily Show: Ears Edition" episode on the papacy skillfully navigates the intersection of religion, politics, and modern societal issues through sharp satire and insightful commentary. By highlighting global reactions to Pope John Paul II’s death, the complexities of papal elections, and the progressive actions of Pope Francis, the show offers both laughter and reflection. Notably, the integration of real-world issues like climate change within comedic frameworks prompts listeners to consider the broader implications of institutional changes within the Catholic Church.

For those who haven’t listened to the episode, this summary provides a comprehensive overview of the key discussions, insights, and satirical takes presented, capturing the essence of The Daily Show's unique approach to contemporary topics.

Transcript

[John Stewart]

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[Scott McClellan]

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[Ed Helms]

Youm'Re listening to comedy Central.

[John Stewart]

But as funeral preparations continue, the death of Pope John Paul II has prompted tributes from around the world. In Argentina, the nation's leaders attended church while Mexican President Vicente Fox paid a call to his country's Vatican embassy. Elsewhere, the Pope, who was credited as a leading force of anti communism in the 80s, was fondly remembered by. Whaaaat? That's right. A condolence book signed by none other than Fidel Castro, who, and I say this with all respect, is next. That's the pool I'm in. But perhaps the most moving tribute took place in Brazil, specifically that Catholic hotbed of Rio de Janeiro where soccer fans remembered the Holy Father like this. And these people are mourning. You cannot bring the Brazilians down. You can't do it. In Rome, millions of people filled the streets for a chance to pay their respects to the pontiff in person. While outside St. Peter's Cathedral, Italian officials struggled to provide the crowds with blankets, portable toilet facilities and of course, incomprehensible cinema. Probably would have been better off with just more toilets. Now what are you going to do? One international worshipper described his dedication. I'm from Poland, from Warsaw. I came to rome yesterday at 9 o' clock. I walk. I've been walking for 10 hours. He added, did you see the bald spot? Yeah, been working on that. We're going to take you out to Rome. Vatican City, actually, where Daily show papal correspondent Ed Helms is standing by. Ed, thank you so much for joining us. I understand that. I understand that you have joined the throngs, the millions in Rome.

[Ed Helms]

That's correct, John. Like countless others from around the globe, I am waiting on line here in Rome. I've just started hour 16. Don't know if I'm going to make it. We're not all going to get there.

[John Stewart]

But, Ed, can you give us a little bit of a sense of what it's like to be there in Rome during this historic moment?

[Ed Helms]

Terrific, John. No problems at all. As you know, the Italians are famous for their organizational skills. They're handling this sudden influx of 3 million pilgrims like a Fiat handles on the autostrada.

[John Stewart]

So you would mean Terribly.

[Ed Helms]

It's not good, John. But they have done some things well. Officials are handing out bottled water, setting up porta potties, and perhaps even more important, porta confessionals. As it turns out, 99% of all sins happen on pilgrimages.

[John Stewart]

That's interesting. That's an interesting statistic. It does sound like there's been a spirit of coming together there. That.

[Ed Helms]

Yeah, absolutely, John. There's nothing like death to bring people to get. Oh, hey, looks like I'm up. Arigato. This stuff is awesome.

[John Stewart]

Ed, you were online for gelato.

[Ed Helms]

Dude, you can't get this stuff in the United States. This is like triple delicious ice cream. It's better than sex. Which reminds me, I gotta hit one of those confessionals.

[John Stewart]

All right, well, thank you very much, Ed Helms, everybody, from Rome. Now, of course, that looked absolutely realistic. Of course, for many of us, the passing of Pope John Paul is a time for reflection on how to use the Pope's death to further your own agenda. It's a difficult task. After all, it would be impossible to sum up this Pope's personal, political and religious beliefs with just one simple talking point.

[Ed Helms]

Frankly, this Pope, as I view it, is a great, great pillar of humanity because he liked freedom and he was in love with the culture of life.

[John Stewart]

Yes, as luck would have it, the Pope's death turned out to be a wonderful time to point out how his views coincided exactly with those of many conservatives. I'll let White House press secretary Scott McClellan continue. The Holy Father was someone who stood for freedom, for human dignity, and promoting a culture of life. He was someone who believed very strongly in a culture of life. Culture of life. Okay, you've set it up on a T. The Pope is beloved. The Pope believed in a culture of life. Bring us home. The President has long believed in promoting a culture of life. Yes. You've done it. The Pope and the President one and the Same. Yes. But unfortunately for the administration, the pope had also expressed other beliefs. Yeah, I was going to say, Senator Domenici, on the issue of the death penalty, you disagree with the Catholic Church.

[Ed Helms]

You know, that's a nice question, but I didn't really come on here to talk about that.

[John Stewart]

I came on here to spin the pope's death positively for me. Scott McClelland, same question. Knowing that the president fully supports the death penalty and used the death penalty.

[Ed Helms]

Does he see it as a contradiction.

[John Stewart]

To use that phrase, culture of life? I think the president's views are well known. I don't think now is the time to talk about where they may have differed on one or two areas. For shame. For shame. REPORTER out of respect for the Holy Father, just once, could you not point out our bull, please? Just once, out of respect for the guy. Another place the pope differed from the administration was on the war in Iraq. The pope called it, quote, a defeat for humanity, while the Vatican referred to it as illegal, immoral and unjust. To Fox News Neil Cavuto, that meant there was some wiggle room in the pope's position.

[Ed Helms]

I think he impressed a lot of people in the Arab and Islamic world by taking a strong stance against the war in Iraq, something. Well, to be fair, his views were not that black and white on the war in Iraq. But Hussein, thank you very much. Well, I think you're wrong about that, aren't you?

[John Stewart]

Okay.

[Ed Helms]

Well, we can argue, but I don't.

[John Stewart]

Want to argue with you today because I like you. Pope says defeat for humanity. I say tomato. But as always, the classiest respects were paid by our good friends at crossfire. Who decided who decided the best way to honor the pope was through completely inappropriate show intro music I you not. Here is an actual clip with the actual sound from the opening of Tuesday's crossfire.

[Ed Helms]

Today on crossfire. Live from the George Washington University, Paul.

[John Stewart]

Begala and Robert Novak, Avema Crossfire Rata ta da, ta da, ta da, ta da, ta da, ta da. You know, I'm starting to think I was too easy easy on those pricks. Starting to think that show's cancellation orders came from higher up than we thought. We know that a Rick Santorum administration would look to the Vatican for inspiration. But how would Santorum get those messages of inspiration? Last week it became clear the Pontifical.

[Scott McClellan]

Council for Social Communications, or probably better.

[John Stewart]

Known as Pope Benedict's social media team, is using Twitter in hopes of getting Catholics to focus more on Lent. The Pope, who you see here using an iPad, nonetheless will post spiritual Guidance on Twitter. Pope has an iPad. What's he using that for? Why. Why are the birds so angry? What have the. What have. What have the pigs done to anger the birds? The green boomerangi bird. Why. Why cannot this bird learn forgiveness? But if a 2000-year-old institution is doing, it's gotta be cutting edge. Where do I find this holy Twitter feed.

[Ed Helms]

Pope Benedict will tweet some of his themes for this season. Opetoyou. Vatican.

[John Stewart]

Popetoyou. Vatican. The Pope can't get a straight up Twitter handle. The Pope. That is weak Twitter. That is Tweek. Although it is the inspiration for my new off Broadway show, Pope Benedict XVI chooses his Twitter account. I had to go with a chef's hat and a 20 year old iMac for some reason. As a Jew, obviously I'm not licensed to go full mitre. Okay, this is. Pope Benedict XVI chooses his Twitter account. My new one man. Www.twitter.com Click on new account username The Pope already taken. What? I'm the Pope. What about the real Pope? Nine. Nine. How can that be taken? I am the real Pope as the Holy Pope. Son of a bitch. How is that Pope with a zero for the O. What is going on? How can the actual Holy See Pope Benedict xvi, Mother. Thus is lost. My. I'll just go with Pope to you. That's taken. Pope to you. Are you watching this? A one man, one man show. What? It's closed already? Now that the Pope's online though, what's the Pope going to. What's the Pope going to put out there?

[Ed Helms]

The spokesman says many of the key ideas of the gospel fit very nicely into 140 characters.

[Scott McClellan]

Very convenient.

[John Stewart]

It is very convenient. Although not all of them. You know what I mean? I don't know if you know the fame passage from the 23rd Psalm. Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear. Oh boy. So close. Of course, there was one message the Pope really does want to get across. It's good to see the Pope adapting to modern times, communicate with young people. I think that's a great idea. A great idea. What better way for a celibate 84 year old to modernize his religion for a younger generation of hormone addled kids eager to protect themselves from unintended pregnancies and SCDs than to start a Twitter account? I can't think of anything else you could do. Nothing comes to mind. But let's begin tonight with the only independent country Liechtenstein can whip. Vatican City today marked the beginning of the 21st century's. First Papal Conclave. As we speak, 115 Roman Catholic cardinals are gathered in the Sistine Chapel to choose the next pope, while thousands of pilgrims gathered outside to witness history and, of course, taunt the Swiss Guards. Hey. Hey, Guardi. Nice hat. The northern breasted cockatoo called. I'm sorry, is that too? This morning, the cardinals entered the chapel and took an oath of secrecy, promising to follow the rules of the conclave. First rule of you do not talk about conclave. Of course. Second rule of conclave. The one who denied its polite. The cardinals are now discussing the church's future under the impressive backdrop of Michelangelo's painting the Last Judgment. Interestingly, in a poem written three years ago, John Paul II himself urged the cardinals to look to the masterpiece for inspiration when choosing his successor. I have an English translation of the poem right here. Let's see. Canto 43, I believe. Okay, here it is. Painter from Florence named Mikey drew some pictures of Popeyes you might likey. Oh, I wish I'd been on Oprah last week. You'd really have something to tune into. The cardinals will not emerge until a pope is chosen. Wait a minute. That. That's what you guys are gonna laugh at. I'm up here busting my nuts. All show for nothing. We throw up. Pope secret. Aw, I am very. No, I can have. I can have Oprah disappear. You people. I'm friends with her. The cardinals will not emerge until a pope is chosen. For some, this will mean days away from their wives. Although those are the bad cardinals. But for further privacy, electronic jamming and anti bugging devices have been hidden under a false floor in the chapel, making it impossible to even get a cell phone signal. Which is good, because when you're making your case to be the spiritual leader of 1.1 billion people, nothing undercuts your argument like Rat Singer. During each round of voting, the cardinals write the names of their chosen candidates on ballots marked iligo insumum pontificam, which, if my Latin serves me correctly, is just a bunch of crazy gibberish. They keep voting until two thirds of the pope. Cardinals agree on one man after three days. If they don't, a simple majority will suffice. If that still doesn't do the trick, each side gets one possession from the 25 yard line with a minute on the clock. Now, as is well known, the cardinal's progress is monitored by the color of the smoke emerging from the Vatican chimney. Today, black smoke emerged, meaning a pope had not been chosen. But when a pope is chosen, the Chimney will look like this. For more on the Conclave, we're going to go out to our senior religion correspondent, Ed Helms, who is in Vatican City tonight. Ed, thank you so much for joining us. Talk to us, Ed. How's it going out there in Vatican City?

[Ed Helms]

John, the security here is tight. The Sistine Chapel is locked down. The place has been swept for bugs, surrounded by Swiss Guards. Frescoes are rigged with explosives. Cyborg armies patrol the roof and of course, the Slowman's shield.

[John Stewart]

So there's really no sense, I guess, a way for you to get in there and get a sense of what's happening.

[Ed Helms]

Not exactly, John. I do have a conclave simulation program. The simstein Accu Chapel, 6000. Now, this gives you a pretty good idea of what's going on. As you see, can the College of Cardinals files into the chapel. Then they move past this guy here, kind of a downer. Then the world's top Catholics take their seats and prepare. The voting begins. The cardinals write their choice on official ballots. The votes are then tallied and burned in a furnace to produce smoke. Then afterwards, everyone takes part in a violent shooting spree.

[John Stewart]

Woo.

[Ed Helms]

Bannock.

[John Stewart]

Bam. Bam. Bam. Ed, that was grand theft auto.

[Ed Helms]

Grand theft auto. Vatican City.

[John Stewart]

John, thank you. That's really very nice of you. Thanks for joining us.

[Ed Helms]

Slow down, John. With this recreation, even you can be part of the action. Check this out. Okay, now watch this. I'm totally conclaving. You got that done. If I press the A button, I can vote for my favorite cardinal. And if I push the B button. This is awesome. I can punch him.

[John Stewart]

All right, I'm sorry, Ed. We have to go now. Okay, wait.

[Ed Helms]

I'm totally working on a combo move. ABBA puts Francis Cardinal Lorenze in a headline.

[John Stewart]

All right, thank you very much, Ed. We'll be right back after this, the whole Pope thing. I'll tell you, here's how wrong I was about this whole thing. As far as the new Pope, I had my money on Lieberman. I thought for sure. I'll tell you what. Conservative, religious. I thought. The only problem, apparently he's got the. What do you call it there? The penis with the. Apparently, you want to be the Pope, you got to wear something on the. But the important thing is, I know nothing about anything. Let's. What an incredibly historic time in Rome. Yesterday and this morning, the crowds gathered in St. Peter's Square. They were disappointed as black smoke emanating from the Vatican chimney signaled that no pope had yet been chosen. Because only an idiot would indicate a Pope had been elected with black smoke. What? But at 06:00 clock Rome time, 11:00 clock Eastern time, more smoke began to pour from the Vatican chimney. At first, many news people were caught off guard. Vatican radio so far is saying it's.

[Ed Helms]

Black and you can hear no bells. However, once again, there's a lot of.

[John Stewart]

Confusion about Jim Blacksmith. Yet again, we're not absolutely positive here, Betty. This is a tough call. It's looking white now. It's looking white. Although that looks darker now when you look at it.

[Ed Helms]

We all know what a tire fire looks like. And this, this is not it.

[John Stewart]

What is there? I could do that. What is their job? What is the news people, what is their job? Are they reporters or are they literally just sitting there in their pajamas, drunk, yelling at the TV? That's my job. It's like MSP 3000 for God's sake. They're just sitting there narrating. Looks like smoke there in the thing. Is it? Why don't you flip over to abc, see what they have? But soon the news was confirmed. The bells began chumming. A new pontiff had been selected. Kalu. Kalei. Fox News broke the story with the stunning words, we have a Pope. We. Exclamation point. We have a Pope. We have a Pope. Apparently, Fox News is now officially a diocese. By the way, the graphic on Al Jazeera TV was a little different now. Who is the new Pope? The throngs gathered in front of the central balcony cheered wildly as the doors swung open to reveal here he is, Pope Blanca the Fifth. Oh, my God. I can't. Actually. No, it's Germany's Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger, or the Joey Ratz, as he likes to be called. Pope John Paul II's longtime advisor stood adorned with papal vestments, Pope's signature white skull cap. And as he stood there before the adoring multitudes, it was then that he realized this is how Bono must feel with or without you. Sunday. Holy Sunday. Ratzinger, now known as Benedict xvi, addressed the crowd. Let me hear you say yeah. Now just the ladies. So there you have it. The suspense is over. Roman Catholicism has a new pontiff. And as usual, the CNN news crawl was the first signal of the media's return to idiocy. As the Pope was being announced. They announced singer Clay Aiken will talk about his own experiences with bullying on the Dr. Phil show today. How are we supposed to watch that without getting brain damage? Sunday was the Easter there. So, you know, I thought it was a good time. Let's check in with the new Pope, Francis I, and see how he's holding up.

[Ed Helms]

The first Pope from Latin America is setting a new tone with the papacy. Choosing to wear simple white vestments, shake hands with the public and feel focus on the poor. Presenting the priesthood as a task of service.

[John Stewart]

Choosing a simple apartment over the grand papal residence. Accepting a soccer jersey from his favorite team. Serving communion out of Tupperware, Buying his red slippers at Payless. Trading in the Popemobile for a Pope moped. It's a simpler time. What else is he doing? Paying his hotel bill after becoming Pope. Why? The Popes didn't use to pay their hotel bills. The other popes, what do they do when they go to check out? They're just like, hey, this thing's got no pockets. What are you gonna do? I tell you, this Pope Francis seems like a breath of fresh air. I like this.

[Ed Helms]

He prefers the title of Bishop of Rome. Simpler and less majestic than Pope or His Holiness?

[John Stewart]

Please. His Holiness lives in Florida. Basically, everything Pope Francis does is a standing reproach to the more festooned style of his predecessor. I'm not saying Benedict overdid it, but every time that guy went to Mexico, kids hit him with sticks, hoping jewels would pour out. What is the most un Benedict like thing? What is the most. You like that? What is the most un Benedict like thing Pope Francis could do?

[Ed Helms]

Instead of washing the feet of 12 priests on holy Thursday, the Pope disregarded Church custom and washed the feet of 12 prisoners, including a Muslim woman.

[John Stewart]

I don't see anybody's religion. All I see is 24 really dirty feet on 120 very dirty toes. Let's do this again. This little piggy went to confession. This little piggy went to prison. You're not a piggy. I love this guy. He's giving prisoners many Popeyes. We should call him Pope Raymond. Cause everybody loves him. And it's only his second week on the job. How do you top this?

[Ed Helms]

The new Pope is marking the weekend with many firsts on Italian television. Today, the Pope did something popes rarely do.

[John Stewart]

Hunt rare lions from a hot air balloon. Harlem shake. Tell the Aristocrats joke.

[Ed Helms]

The Pope did something Popes rarely do. Participating in a broadcast special on the Shroud of Turin. It's the first televised showing in 40 years of the Shroud. Only the second time in history.

[John Stewart]

What a relief to Catholics everywhere to have their new Pope go on television. This is the only dirty laundry he's going to be airing. But I get it, Mr. Varney. You're a supply Sider, you want to hear a moral argument about that type of economics? Well, let's look to a gentleman seen as a voice of moral authority for millions of people today. Pope Francis denounced trickle down economics as.

[Ed Helms]

Unfair to the poor.

[John Stewart]

He calls unfettered capitalism a new tyranny.

[Scott McClellan]

And he urges world leaders to fight poverty and inequality.

[Ed Helms]

Money must serve, not rule. I exhort you to generous solidarity and the return of economics and finance to an ethical approach which favors human beings.

[John Stewart]

Ooh, somebody light some incense. That's gonna go over like a fart in church.

[Ed Helms]

I disagree with the Pope. Who doesn't like free market capitalism. I think free market capitalism is a great liberator.

[John Stewart]

Ah, you're going up against the Pope. You're going up against the Pope on how to help the poor. Helping the poor is in this man's wheelhouse. This Pope helps the poor, but you're telling him how to do his job. Pope doesn't come over to where you work and slap Jamie Dimon's out of your mouth. That's weird. That wasn't in the prompter. Can anyone actually have a rebuttal for the Pope?

[Ed Helms]

With all due humility, and as a churchgoing Catholic convert, a devotional convert, I adore the Holy Father. I still must completely disagree. Need I remind His Holiness Pope Francis, charity is a gospel value. And that puts free market capitalism on the right side of the Lord.

[John Stewart]

Exactly. Free market capitalism on the right side of the Lord. Who says you can't serve both God and money? Who would say such a thing? Who would save such a. That's not fair. Look at the beard. Guy's clearly a Marxist. All right, step right up. Who's got next?

[Ed Helms]

When the Pope criticizes an entire economic system and is negative about it, he's indulging in politics, and I don't think he should. I personally do not want my spiritual life mixed up with my political life. I go to church to save my soul.

[John Stewart]

Then why aren't you there right now? I do think we've got some common ground here. I think we both actually agree that some people are being paid too much money to shovel unappetizing, unhealthy to the American public. We just disagree about who those people are and where they were. Speaking of Richard Lewis, why don't we start the show with the opposite of said Richard Lewis? The Pope who's the head of the Jewish church. Pope is the head of the Catholic Church, The Vicar of Christ. Number one on Godspeed dial. 1.2 billion worshipers hanging on the Pope's every word. And guess what? The word just came down.

[Scott McClellan]

Pope Francis issued a nearly 200 page document casting climate change as a moral issue, not simply a political or economic debate.

[John Stewart]

Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. A 200 page encyclical moral treatise on climate change. And just in time for beach season. What a great read down at LBi. I hope it's in the original Latin. So the Pope is weighing in on the side of taking action against climate change. Seems a little odd for the Catholic Church to take an environmental stance, but Buddhism was the religion obsessed with recycling. Oh, boom, boom. Oh, snap. No, you didn't. Oh, where my Eightfold path walkers at? Yeah, that line usually doesn't get a lot of enthusiasm. It's not to say the Vatican is being popey. Come lately to this. They've recognized climate change for a long time. The Vatican claims it was among the.

[Ed Helms]

First institutions to believe that global warming is caused by human activities. The Vatican's Pontifical Academy of Sciences was the first exclusive scientific academy in the world. Among its first members was Galileo Galilei.

[John Stewart]

I don't know if you really want to list Galileo as one of your references. The Catholic Church. Yeah, no, I remember working with them. They were, they were lovely people. Convicted me of and sends me to house arrest for the last nine years of my life. Otherwise, though, very forward thinking. Tell me more about this magic hand I'm talking into now. Here in America, the Republican party has traditionally been pretty pop Pope, pretty, pretty pro Pope, sharing as they do, a yearning for the simpler morality of the 15th century. But now that the Pope has gone rogue, how they're going to handle it. Joe Barton, the senior Republican on the.

[Ed Helms]

Energy and Commerce Committee, says he doesn't.

[John Stewart]

Consider the Pope an expert on environmental issues. The Pope stay with his job and let us stay with ours. That is his job. That's the biggest job of the Pope, is to tell people when they're being bad. That's why he dresses like a big white blanket. But you know what? Barton and Inhofe, who cares? Who cares about those guys? Santorum will back the Pope. Rick Santorum's so Catholic. He was an altar boy until like six weeks ago. This guy's so Catholic. His crucifix. Where's the crucifix? I think that we probably are better off leaving science to the scientists and focusing on what we do, what we're really good at, which is theology and morality. Oh, yeah, no, you should just leave the science to the scientists. By the way, what do the scientists who have an overwhelming consensus about global warming, say, about global warming. Even Republican frontrunner Ye Babush is chafing at the Pope.

[Ed Helms]

I don't get economic policy from my. From my bishops or my cardinals or from my pope. I think religion ought to be about making us better as people and less about things that end up getting into the political realm.

[John Stewart]

Yeah, religion is about making us better people. Politics is about bringing out our worst, and I think we need to keep those things. Yeah, but this is weird because Jeb seemed very in favor of church and state, at least dating at last week's Faith and Freedom Coalition.

[Ed Helms]

Our faith and our moral traditions. It is really the moral foundation of our country. The greatest country on the face of the. This conscience should also be respected. When people of faith want to take a stand for traditional marriage.

[John Stewart]

Oh, so there it's okay. Well, perhaps, maybe people would be more for preventing global warming if we referred to it as taking a stand for preserving traditional sea levels. It's Adam and Eve. That would work. I think that would work. As the Bible says, it is Adam and Eve, not Adam and Eve. Look, Republicans reacting to the Pope's honest call for environmental consciousness with hostility is not the way to go. When the Pope lays down the doctrine like this, there is only one force on earth powerful enough to sway him. Exxon sent actually a senior lobbyist and another executive over to Rome.

[Ed Helms]

Exxon's been lobbying the Vatican over the Pope's climate change message.

[John Stewart]

Ah. They've appealed to a higher authority than God. And so, in the words of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Mmm. Drill, baby, drill.

[Ed Helms]

Explore more shows from the Daily Show Podcast universe by searching the Daily Show. Wherever you get your podcasts, watch the Daily show weeknights at 1110 Central on Comedy Central and stream full episodes anytime on Paramount plus.

[John Stewart]

Paramount Podcasts.

[Scott McClellan]

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[John Stewart]

You're listening to an iHeart podcast.