Be Patient With Them | Protect Your Own Good

Summary

The Daily Stoic Podcast
Episode: Be Patient With Them | Protect Your Own Good
Host: Ryan Holiday
Date: June 29, 2026

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Overview

In this episode, Ryan Holiday explores two interwoven Stoic themes: the importance of patience and understanding with others, and the Stoic imperative to nurture and protect our own innate goodness. Drawing on powerful passages from Marcus Aurelius, Musonius Rufus, and Epictetus, Ryan connects everyday challenges—ranging from childhood confusions to adult frustrations—to fundamental Stoic practices that cultivate patience, virtue, and self-reflection.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Be Patient With Others (00:07 – 01:49)

• The Experience of Being New:
  Ryan reflects on childhood confusion—first days at school, unexplained rules, and uncertainty—and how adults naturally offer children patience and forgiveness for their struggles.

  • Quote (Ryan Holiday, 00:32):
    “But ultimately adults understand that it's difficult to be a kid. And that's why we're patient with them, why we take our time to explain things to them, why we don't hold their mistakes or their tantrums against them.”

• Adulthood as a New Challenge:
  Even as adults, we’re constantly faced with new situations—jobs, relationships, responsibilities—where we might feel just as lost or overwhelmed as we did as children.

  • Quote (Ryan Holiday, 00:54): “Many of us are still walking into new rooms for the first time. New jobs, new relationships, old relationships with new problems. Children of our own to care for, aging parents who now need us in ways they never did before."

• Stoic Perspective on Human Shortcomings:
  Drawing on Marcus Aurelius, Ryan highlights that the flaws and irritations we experience in others are often not from malice but from ignorance or inexperience.

  • Quote (Marcus Aurelius via Ryan Holiday, 01:27):
    “They are like this… because they don’t know better, because no one taught them. All these things result from their not knowing what is good or evil."
  • Memorable Note (01:49): “So let’s be patient, let’s assume the best, let’s help them do better.”

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2. Protect Your Own Good (04:29 – 07:47)

• Innate Human Goodness:
  Citing Musonius Rufus, Ryan asserts that we are all born with an innate inclination towards goodness and virtue. Choices, not nature, determine whether this good is cultivated or suppressed.

  • Quote (Ryan Holiday, 04:29): “Musonius Rufus... taught that human beings are all born with an innate goodness, or as he put it, with an inclination to virtue. It’s our choices that decide whether that goodness comes out or not. We’re not bad people, essentially, though we might sometimes do bad things."

• The Purpose of Stoicism:
  Stoic practice is about daily remembrance and effort to protect our inner goodness, especially amid adversity.

  • Quote (Ryan Holiday, 05:26): “Protect your own good and all that you do, and as concerns everything else, take what is given as far as you can. Make reasoned use of it.”

• Quotations from the Stoic Masters:

  • Marcus Aurelius (Meditations 7, 59, quoted at 06:04): “Dig deep within yourself. For there is a fountain of goodness ever ready to flow, you will keep digging.”
  • Reflection (Ryan Holiday, 06:24): Ryan pushes back against notions of original sin:
    “There is a darkness in us, but there’s also incredible good. And I think the Stoics are talking about, what side of you are you gonna nurture? What side is going to come out?”

• Trials of Stoic Exemplars:
  Musonius Rufus faced multiple exiles; Epictetus survived slavery; Marcus Aurelius bore the burdens of power, loss, and grief. All found ways to let their innate goodness be revealed through adversity.

  • Quote (Ryan Holiday, 07:18): “Musonius and Epictetus… adversity revealed an unbreakable goodness, a commitment, a tenacity, a perseverance, an unswerving belief in these principles…”

• Call to Action:
  Ryan encourages listeners to pause and reflect on the character they are building and to reveal their best selves, echoing Marcus Aurelius:

  • Quote (Ryan Holiday, 07:43): “Let’s not waste time arguing what a good man should be. Let’s be one. Let’s be the best we can for ourselves, for our family, for our world.”

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Childhood and Newness
  “We’re all figuring it out as we go, still reacting, still afraid, still working through lessons we haven’t mastered yet.” – Ryan Holiday (01:41)

• On Nurturing Goodness
  “What side of you are you gonna nurture? What side is going to come out? What side are you going to look for? What side are you going to reveal?” – Ryan Holiday (06:24)

• On Practicing Goodness, Not Arguing About It
  “Let’s not waste time arguing what a good man should be. Let’s be one.” – Marcus Aurelius (echoed by Ryan Holiday, 07:43)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Be Patient With Them:
  • Childhood as a confusing journey (00:07 – 00:54)
  • Newness in adulthood, changing roles and expectations (00:54 – 01:14)
  • Marcus Aurelius on the behavior of others (01:14 – 01:40)
  • Call for empathy and patience (01:47 – 01:49)
• Protect Your Own Good:
  • Musonius Rufus on innate virtue (04:29 – 05:26)
  • Stoic writings: Epictetus and Marcus Aurelius (05:26 – 06:17)
  • Stoic resistance to the idea of original sin (06:17 – 06:46)
  • The revealing nature of adversity (06:46 – 07:18)
  • Final Stoic call to action and self-improvement (07:18 – 07:47)

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Tone & Language

The tone of the episode is conversational, accessible, and gently reflective—typical of Ryan Holiday’s approach to sharing Stoic philosophy. There’s a consistent use of everyday examples and Stoic wisdom, with a focus on actionable insights rather than abstract theory.

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Summary

This episode of The Daily Stoic artfully blends ancient wisdom with relatable life scenarios, challenging listeners to extend the patience they offer to children to everyone—including themselves—and to consciously guard and cultivate the virtue within. Using stories, Stoic quotations, and practical advice, Ryan Holiday gently urges us to not only theorize about virtue but to practice it, making Stoicism a living, breathing force in our daily lives.

Transcript

[Ryan Holiday]

Welcome to the daily Stoic podcast, designed

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to help bring those four key Stoic

[Ryan Holiday]

virtues, courage, discipline, justice, and wisdom into the real world. Be patient with Them when we were kids, life was often overwhelming and bewildering. We would fall asleep in a car seat or a stroller and wake up hours later in a dark room with no idea how we got there. Everything was new. We had to walk into a classroom for the first time, sit at something

[Stephen Hanselman]

called a desk, and stay there all

[Ryan Holiday]

day, away from our parents, learning from strangers. We were constantly being subjected to rules that no one had explained, told to do things that we didn't understand. But ultimately adults understand that it's difficult to be a kid. And that's why we're patient with them, why we take our time to explain things to them, why we don't hold their mistakes or their tantrums against them. But is it really all that different

[Stephen Hanselman]

to be an adult?

[Ryan Holiday]

Many of us are still walking into new rooms for the first time. New jobs, new relationships, old relationships with new problems. Children of our own to care for, aging parents who now need us in ways they never did before. Responsibilities we didn't have yesterday, rules and practices and cultural norms that are constantly changing.

[Stephen Hanselman]

In Marcus Aurelius famous passage about the

[Ryan Holiday]

obnoxious and rude and frustrating people he knows he'll meet in the course of a day, he makes a really important point. He reminds himself and us why people are like this.

[Stephen Hanselman]

They are like this, he says, because

[Ryan Holiday]

they don't know better, because no one taught them. All these things result from their not knowing what is good and what is evil, he writes, and how can I be angry at my kin or even hateful towards them? Everyone is new to this life thing.

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We're all figuring it out as we

[Ryan Holiday]

go, still reacting, still afraid, still working through lessons we haven't mastered yet.

[Stephen Hanselman]

Like a kid. We've never been this age before.

[Ryan Holiday]

Nobody has. So let's be patient, let's assume the best, let's help them do better.

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Protect your own good. Musonius Rufus, one of Epictetus teachers, taught that human beings are all born with an innate goodness, or, as he put it, with an inclination to virtue. It's our choices that decide whether that goodness comes out or not. We're not bad people, essentially, though we might sometimes do bad things. The purpose of Stoicism then, is to remind us of that goodness and to help us work hard to protect it. So spend some time this week writing about the choices you can make, the actions you can take to do just that. And this is from The Daily Stoic Journal, 366 days of writing and reflection on the art of living, which I use myself every morning. I love the little prompts. Here is Epictetus Discourses, who, as you know, Epictetus was Musonius Rufus, student, protect your own good and all that you do, and as concerns everything else, take what is given as far as you can. Make reasoned use of it. If you don't, you'll be unlucky, prone to failure, hindered and stymied. That's discourses 4, 3, and then Marcus Aurelius, Meditations. Marcus then influenced by Epictetus. So Musonius teaches Stoicism to Epictetus, whose writings then survive and make their way to Marcus Aurelius. Marcus Aurelius, as it happens, is introduced to Stoicism through Junius Rusticus, who loans him his copy of Epictetus. Dig deep within yourself, Marcus writes in meditation 7, 5, 9. For there is a fountain of goodness ever ready to flow. You will keep digging. I guess what the Stoics are doing here is really pushing back on this notion of original sin, that we're toxic, broken, horrible people, that human nature is something to be feared. There is a darkness in us, but there's also incredible good. And I think the Stoics are talking about, what side of you are you gonna nurture? What side is going to come out? What side are you going to look for? What side are you going to reveal? And Musonius and Epictetus and Marcus are all tested in incredible ways. Musonius is exiled three times, perhaps four. Epictetus, you know, experiences the incredible injustice of slavery. Marcus Aurelius is given absolute power, and as they say, power reveals, but I think also adversity reveals. And in both Musonius and Epictetus's case, adversity revealed an unbreakable goodness, a commitment, a tenacity, a perseverance, an unswerving belief in these principles that we're talking about now. And in Marcus Aurelius, you know, he wasn't challenged the same way, although life did challenge him with loss and grief and pain and sickness. But. But it also challenged him with great bounty of good fortune. And that, too, tested his character. It tested whether there really was goodness inside of him and what side of him he was going to reveal. So as you go out into the world this week, think about who you really are underneath. Think about what kind of character you've been cultivating. And let's show people who we are and who we can be and what we actually believe. As. As Marcus says, let's not waste time arguing what a good man should be. Let's be one. Let's be the best we can for ourselves, for our family, for our world. And I'll talk to you soon.

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Hey there.

[Stephen Hanselman]

Just a heads up, I'm going to

[Ryan Holiday]

be on tour this fall. You can see me in Australia and New Zealand in October. In August I'm mixing my months up here. But in August you can see me in Chicago and Minneapolis and Detroit.

[Stephen Hanselman]

Then I'll be on the east coast

[Ryan Holiday]

sometime in November and December.

[Stephen Hanselman]

Anyways, grab tickets to that Daily Stoic Live at. I hope to see you there.

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