The Daily Stoic – “Have You Considered This? | Don't Hide From Your Feelings”

Host: Ryan Holiday
Date: December 8, 2025

Episode Overview

This episode of The Daily Stoic with Ryan Holiday focuses on two primary Stoic teachings: the need to recognize that not everything is meant for everyone (“Have You Considered This?”), and the importance of confronting one’s emotions, particularly grief, rather than avoiding or suppressing them (“Don’t Hide From Your Feelings”).

Ryan Holiday draws on the writings of Marcus Aurelius and Seneca to challenge common misconceptions about Stoicism, especially the stereotype of the Stoic as unemotional or detached. Through personal anecdotes and references to other thinkers, he argues for a balanced, emotionally honest engagement with life’s difficulties.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

I. Not Everything is Meant for You — Understanding the Context of Creation

Timestamp: 00:56–02:56

• Ryan Holiday begins by reflecting on criticisms of Marcus Aurelius's Meditations as repetitive — particularly regarding death, fame, and the burdens of leadership.

  • He points out the misconception: Meditations wasn’t written for an audience, but for Marcus himself.
  • Quote:

    "It's because the book is not for you. ...He was thinking about what he needed." — Ryan Holiday [01:24]

• This serves as a broader lesson:

  • Just as Meditations has its own context and purpose, so do other works of art, comedy, literature, and media.
  • Holiday gives modern examples: people complaining about repetitiveness in Daily Stoic videos, or disliking books and movies that were never aimed at them.
  • Quote:

    "Not everything is for you. Not everything is about you. ...The sooner you realize that you are not the center of the universe... the more understanding you can be, the less judgment you'll feel required to have." — Ryan Holiday [02:08]

• Key Insight:

  • Appreciating the telos (purpose) and intended audience of creative works breeds tolerance, humility, and understanding.

II. Stoicism, Grief, and Emotional Honesty

Timestamp: 05:44–10:03

• Ryan transitions to the day’s entry—based on a quote from Seneca’s essay to his mother Helvia:

  • Quote:

    "It's better to conquer grief... than to deceive it." — Seneca [05:47]

• He challenges the stereotype that Stoics suppress or ignore emotion. Rather:

  • Stoicism is about facing, processing, and dealing with emotions directly, not avoiding them.
  • Well-meaning efforts to distract those grieving may be pleasant in the short term but avoid deeper healing.
  • Quote:

    "The Stoics are stereotyped as suppressing their emotions, but their philosophy was actually intended to teach us to face, to process, and deal with emotions immediately instead of running from them." — Ryan Holiday [06:16]

• He cites author Kate Bowler, who, facing cancer, was told, “Everything happens for a reason.” Bowler’s retort:

  • Quote:

    "I'd love to know the reason." — Kate Bowler (as recounted by Ryan Holiday) [07:05]

  • These platitudes, he argues, are an avoidance of uncomfortable feelings—both for the comforter and the grieving.

• Holiday delves into the personal context of grief experienced by Marcus Aurelius:

  • The emperor’s repeated meditations on loss were responses to real, personal suffering (he lost at least five or six children).
  • Quote:

    "Almost more of his children did not survive to adulthood than did... just the magnitude of that grief." — Ryan Holiday [08:16]

  • Marcus's writings are thus evidence of a person actively working through unimaginable loss, not a display of robotic detachment.

• The episode’s central message:

  • It’s not only acceptable to feel grief, sorrow, or pain — it’s necessary to process and integrate these emotions rather than avoid them.
  • If grief becomes overwhelming and paralyzing for extended periods, seeking help is necessary.
  • Quote:

    "There is no way out but through." — Ryan Holiday [09:46]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On audience and creation:

  "The sooner you realize that you are not the center of the universe or the intended recipient of everything, the more understanding you can be." — Ryan Holiday [02:15]

• On the real Stoic approach to emotion:

  "They were feeling. They just tried not to be overwhelmed, overcome, paralyzed by those feelings. And part of the way they did it was by working on them." — Ryan Holiday [08:49]

• On the process of grief:

  "You gotta deal with it. You gotta face it. You gotta process it. That's the only way out. There is no way out but through." — Ryan Holiday [09:45]

Important Timestamps & Segment Highlights

• 00:56–02:56: Reflection on Meditations, artistic intent, and audience; the importance of understanding creative context.
• 05:44–07:37: Introduction of Seneca’s quote; Stoic approach to emotions; anecdote about Kate Bowler and the inadequacy of platitudes.
• 07:37–09:46: Deep dive into Marcus Aurelius’s personal grief, the myth of the “unfeeling Stoic,” and the value of emotional processing.
• 09:46–10:03: Closing advice: permission to feel and process grief, constructive action if grief becomes overwhelming.

Concluding Thoughts

Ryan Holiday reminds listeners that Stoic philosophy is not about evading feeling but about embracing life’s emotional realities with courage and honesty. By recognizing our own vantage point as limited — and that not everything in culture is for us — we can be more mature, appreciative, and less judgmental. When it comes to feelings, especially grief, the only true path to healing is through mindful acknowledgement and processing, resisting both false stoicism and well-meaning distractions.

For more insight and Stoic reflections, visit DailyStoic.com.