Podcast Summary: The Daily Stoic

Episode Title: How Astonished Would They Be? | No Shame In Needing Help
Date: June 16, 2025
Host: Ryan Holiday

Episode Overview

In this episode, Ryan Holiday draws inspiration from Stoic philosophy to discuss legacy, the astonishment of historical figures at today’s world, and—most centrally—the importance and strength of asking for help. Through the lens of Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations and personal reflection, Ryan challenges the stereotype of stoics as emotionally detached and self-sufficient, instead inviting listeners to embrace vulnerability and community support.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Astonishment at Modern Legacy

• Ryan opens by musing on how Marcus Aurelius, who wrote Meditations as private reflections and had no intention of publishing them, would be “astonished” to find his words studied and practiced millennia later.
• He references Marilyn Robinson:
  • “It pleases me to think, Marilyn Robinson writes, how astonished old Homer, whoever he was, would be to find his epics on the shelf of such an unimaginable being as myself in the middle of an unrumored continent.” (01:30)
• Reflects on progress toward the ideals Marcus admired—equal laws, constitutional democracies, and interconnectedness—and asks listeners to feel gratitude for the philosophical tradition we inherit.

2. No Shame In Needing Help

• The heart of the episode centers on Marcus Aurelius’ teaching about the value of accepting help:
  • “Don’t be ashamed of needing help. You have a duty to fulfill, just like a soldier on the wall of battle. So what if you’re injured and can’t climb up without another soldier’s help? So what?” – Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 7:7 (06:00)
• Ryan highlights three translations of this passage to reinforce its message of communal strength (Hayes, Waterfield, and original).
• He debunks the stereotype of the “emotionless, robotic, superhuman stoic,” emphasizing that real Stoicism is communal:
  • “You are not an island. That’s what Marcus Aurelius is saying. No, you’re part of a phalanx… protecting each other, helping each other.” (09:20)
• Not asking for help, he insists, is not just limiting but “cowardly.” Refusing aid can undermine the mission, while asking is an act of courage and persistence.

3. Requesting Help Is Strength, Not Weakness

• Shares a favorite children’s book, The Boy, the Fox, the Horse and the Mole, and highlights:
  • “Asking for help isn’t giving up, it’s refusing to give up, right? Asking for help isn’t weak. It’s a sign of strength.” (11:08)
• Encourages listeners to question the belief that requests for help will annoy others:
  • “When your friends ask for help, are you like, ‘oh, this fucking guy’? No, you’re glad.” (13:00)
• Points out that requesting help gives others purpose and satisfaction, and can even strengthen relationships.

4. Practical Examples & Modern Context

• Examples include asking staff for directions at a store, seeking professional therapy, opening up to loved ones, or reaching out to strangers.
• Ryan reiterates:
  • “Don’t be afraid to show weakness or vulnerability. This is a good thing and I hope that you do it.” (15:10)
• Echoes Epictetus’ notion: “If you want to improve, you have to be willing to be seen as foolish,” urging listeners not to let the fear of judgment impede their growth.

Memorable Quotes & Moments

• On legacy and astonishment:
  • “Marcus would have been astonished, if not temporarily horrified by the publication of his unedited thoughts, but just as much he would have been astonished by you.” (02:00)
• On the duty to ask for help:
  • “To not ask for help, to just lay there and to give up, is not just weak but cowardly.” (10:50)
• On communal strength:
  • “You’re part of a troop, a brigade, a battalion. And you’re all in this together, protecting each other, helping each other.” (09:35)
• On reframing vulnerability:
  • “Asking for help isn’t weak. It’s a sign of strength. You’re not afraid of being seen as weak. You’re committed. You’re unbeatable, right? You will not go down without a fight.” (11:20)
• On service and connection:
  • “By asking for help, you are giving other people the opportunity to feel and do good.” (13:40)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:05–02:35: Reflection on legacy, Marcus Aurelius & astonishment
• 06:00–09:35: Multiple translations of Meditations 7:7, significance of the passage
• 09:40–11:30: Breaking down stereotypes of stoicism, discussion of communal duty
• 11:08–13:40: Book reference, strength in vulnerability, effect of asking for help on community
• 14:40–16:00: Encouragement, practical examples, Epictetus quote on risk of looking foolish

Closing Thought

Ryan closes by reminding listeners that it is never “unstoic” to ask for help. In fact, to persist in uncertainty or struggle alone is to miss the communal heart of Stoicism.
He ends encouraging everyone to “please, please do it”—reach out, be vulnerable, and embrace the power of togetherness.

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