Ryan Holiday (2:34)
Most people don't read a lot, right? A few books a year at most. So if you're only going to read a couple books in a given year, what book should you read? That becomes a much more important question. So in today's video, I want to give you some books that I am confident are worth your time this year. I want to give you some books that will make you a better person this year that have a high roi, that have changed me, made me better, and I think will make you better at a bunch of different things in your life. I can't imagine anyone's resolution was to be less happy this year, right? No, we want to have less stress. We want to be less anxious, we want to have less turbulence, less frustration. We want to be happier. We want stuff to not be so hard. And I think most of us understand that, yeah, sure, life is hard, but we make life harder than it needs to be. We make things hard on ourselves. And that's where Dan Harris was in 2004. He has a panic attack on national television as an anchor for Good Morning America. And up until that moment, he thought that the voice in his head was serving him well, that it was an asset, it had driven him to the top of his profession. He didn't quite understand the ways that it was also driving him crazy and driving him into the ground. Right. And so that's where his book 10% happier comes in. And I think this is a great book for helping work on that voice in your head that helps you work on becoming happier. This is the subtitle, How I Tamed the Voice In My Head, Reduced Stress Without Losing My Edge and Found Self Help that Actually Works is a book largely influenced by his study of Buddhism and other Eastern philosophical schools. And the book follows him on that journey and I think is a great survey course in some of those great strategies. I think this is a great book for a well rounded, happy and mindful life that if you're ambitious or high achieving, it will do you a lot of good. This is a great book and I think it's important, you know, happiness isn't this thing that just magically happens. It's not a transformative thing. It's about getting a little bit happier or getting a little better at removing sources of unhappiness. And stress from your life. And Dan talks about that great in this book. He also has a great podcast. All right, so the ancients had a saying, and that saying was that character is fate. That who we are, the values we ascribe to, what we're trying to be, that really determines who we're going to be. That it all comes down to character. And that's why I was really excited about this book. And I think it's a book that you should read. This is General Stanley McChrystal's book on choices that define a life. And he's saying the same thing that ancient saying is trying to get at, right? That the choices we make about our character, choices that we make about our values, these are the choices that define our life. Much more so than where we go to college or what profession we choose. We are currently in the middle of a massive experiment about what it looks like when we have leaders in business and politics, in culture that not only don't have character, but don't even pay lip service to character. And we are reaping the consequences of that right now. This is kind of a throwback, older style book, a meditation on an important theme in the form of a bunch of short essays and stories. And I also think it's a throwback in terms of its earnestness and vulnerability. You know, he's quite critical of himself or like, if he was writing a book for speaking gigs or consulting or whatever, this is not the book that you would write. This is the thoughts of a man in the later stages of his career, reflecting on what he's learned, reflecting on the mistakes he's made, the future that he wants to leave to his children and his grandchildren. And I think that's something that we should be thinking about too. I love this book. General McChrystal came on the Daily Stoic podcast and talked about it. I think you're really going to like it. And I just took a ton of notes on this book. This here was one of the best selling books in the entire country in 1955. It was enormously popular when it came out. It was profoundly impactful for hundreds of thousands of people. It is a classic that's mostly been forgotten and lost. And part of the reason is because the author was, I guess we would say today, canceled, and rightfully so. She and her husband were controversial figures who had a lot of abhorrent beliefs. But that doesn't mean the ideas in the book aren't really, really important. Right? The original subtitle of this book was the answer to the conflicts in our lives. But it's really a book about stillness. I'm talking about Anne Marlenberg's A Gift from the Sea. And here we have a career woman. Here we have a person in the limelight. Here we have a person in the midst of what was becoming the woman's movement. Just society is changing. A lot's happening. Everything's going a mile a minute as she's trying to wrestle with all these challenging demands, as we ourselves are wrestling with all the demands of the modern world. Like, we all have this desire to slow things down, to get perspective, to get to what really matters, what's actually essential. And in this book where she's meditating on these sort of seashells on the beach and about what they mean and what they can teach us, it's just a great reminder and a great how to book for slowing down, calming down, achieving some small measure of tranquility and peace amidst the craziness. I think that's why it sold well when it came out. I think that's why it's still selling 70 years later and why it's so timeless and important. Because life is complicated. Life is overwhelming, and we need help resolving those inherent conflicts. Basically, in each chapter, Lindbergh takes a shell from the beach. And it's this sort of starting point on these different meditations on solitude and love and happiness and contentment. And, you know, as I said, it feels very modern for a book entering its seventh decade. And the main thing I don't like about this book is that I didn't read it when I was writing. Stillness is the key, because I almost certainly would have quoted it many, many times. Somebody told me recently that when person you know, tells you to read a book, that's a recommendation. But when your spouse tells you to read a book, it's a prescription. And my wife told me to read this book, and I'm very much in her debt because it made me a better parent and a better human being. It also helped me with my relationship with my own parents. I've been raving about this book ever since I read it because it's fantastic. This is Dr. Becky's good inside. It will be the best parenting book you have ever read. And honestly, even if you don't have children, it will make you a better son or daughter. No one is going to be a perfect parent, right? No one is a perfect person. But what Dr. Becky talks about here the most, or what I took most from this book, is that what we need to do is get better at repair. How do you own your mistakes? How do you apologize? How do you fix things? How do you come back after a disconnection and find connection? And she talks a lot in here about being better at being patient, that we ultimately have to remember that our kids are good inside, they're doing their best, that it's hard to be a kid, right? It's hard to be a person. You're struggling as a parent. You've had way more experience being a human being than they have. And so there's just a lot here. This is an amazing book. I've gotten to know Dr. Becky over the years and she's just a wonderful person. She, I think she lives these ideas as far as I know. Just a reminder like our job is to help raise kids who are emotionally well regulated, people who can deal with the difficulties of life. That's what the Stoics are trying to do. That's what Dr. Becky is trying to do. I've talked to her on the podcast that was a great episode, one of our most popular ever over the Daily Stoke podcast. So you should listen to that. If you want to be a better parent or a better person this year, read this book.