Learn To Ask This of Your Actions | Is Stoicism Compatible With Christianity?

Summary

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Episode Overview

Title: Learn To Ask This of Your Actions | Is Stoicism Compatible With Christianity?
Date: July 7, 2026
Host: Ryan Holiday (with Stephen Hanselman and audience Q&A)
Theme:
This episode of The Daily Stoic centers on two main themes: applying the Stoic practice of questioning your actions to form good habits and break bad ones, and exploring the relationship and compatibility between Stoicism and Christianity. The latter half features Q&As from a live event in San Francisco, covering advice for young adults, communicating Stoicism to others (especially those with strong religious backgrounds), the enduring importance of Homer’s Odyssey, and reflections on Marcus Aurelius as a parent.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

The Stoic Practice of Habits and Self-Questioning

• No Commandments, But Many “Don’ts”
  The episode opens with Stephen Hanselman explaining how, unlike some philosophies or religions, Stoicism doesn’t have a strict code or set list of “do’s and don’ts.” Instead, piecing together the advice from surviving fragments yields practical guidance for modern life.
  Notable “Don’ts” from Stoic Thinkers:

  • Don’t be overheard complaining – Marcus Aurelius
  • Don’t put on airs about your self-improvement – Epictetus
  • Don’t overindulge in eating or drinking – Musonius Rufus
  • Don’t speak more than you listen – Zeno
  • Don’t avoid difficulty – Seneca
  • Don’t tie your identity to possessions – Cato
  • Don’t put off what can be done today – Seneca
  • Don’t shun those you disagree with – Seneca
  • Don’t waste time thinking you’ll live forever – All Stoics

• The Centrality of Awareness and Self-Scrutiny
  The episode emphasizes that for Stoics, the most critical habit is developing constant awareness:

  “Musonius Rufus believed that in too many circumstances we do not deal with our affairs in accordance with correct assumptions, but rather we follow thoughtless habit.” – Stephen Hanselman [01:26]
  “Marcus said that we should learn to ask of all actions, why are you doing that? And he said you must start with your own.” – Stephen Hanselman [01:49]

  This practical interrogation of one’s own actions is positioned as the foundation for kicking bad habits and cultivating virtue.

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Live Audience Q&A Highlights

Advice for Young Adults on Spending Their 20s [07:59]

Question:
How should young adults invest their energy during their 20s?

Answer:

• Choose opportunities that maximize learning and personal growth, rather than just pay or parental/social approval.
• Be ready to go outside your comfort zone, and focus on roles that challenge you and build skills for the future.
• Accept starting at the bottom and being misunderstood; what matters is accumulating a broad base of knowledge.
• Quoting the Stoic virtue of wisdom:

  “That means being bad. That means being low on the totem pole. That means being misunderstood. People thinking you’re wasting your time, but you know why you’re doing all that.” – Ryan Holiday [08:53]

Is Stoicism Compatible with Christianity? [10:00]

Question:
How to talk about Stoicism with loved ones who are deeply religious and might see it as controversial?

Insights:

• Stoicism and Christianity share the same cardinal virtues: courage, temperance, justice, and wisdom.
• Stoicism is not atheistic; historically, the Stoics were theists, even if in a Roman polytheist way.
• The pursuit of the good life is both philosophical and religious; the traditions have intersected and debated for centuries, but are ultimately not at odds at the level of ethical practice.
• Focus on personal growth; don't seek validation from others regarding your philosophical pursuits:

  “Stoicism is uniquely designed around is like it doesn’t matter if people get it or not… We don’t control what other people think.” – Daily Stoic Guest/Contributor [11:41]

The Enduring Value of Homer’s Odyssey [12:07]

Question:
Why is The Odyssey still meaningful to read today, and what does it mean to you?

Insights:

• The Odyssey is a foundational myth for Western culture; each rereading offers something new depending on your stage in life.

• Themes of coming-of-age and personal growth resonate across millennia.

• The enduring power of storytelling:

  “Just like, I just love the idea that 2,500 years later, this joke still lands.” – Daily Stoic Guest/Contributor [13:44] (on the 'Nobody' pun in the Polyphemus story)

• All great epics like the Bhagavad Gita and Gilgamesh map the “hero’s journey,” but for those philosophically inclined, the Odyssey is hard to beat.

Lessons from Marcus Aurelius and Commodus [14:46]

Question:
What can we learn from Marcus Aurelius as a father, given how Commodus turned out?

Discussion:

• The tragedy and complexity of parenting while leading; Marcus lost many children, and Commodus is historically regarded as a failure and even a cautionary tale.
• Context matters: Commodus lost many siblings, was thrust into power too young, and lacked his father’s apprenticeship and character.
• Historical perspective: Most powerful families struggle with raising well-adjusted heirs. Marcus was the exception, not the rule.

  “Historically, Commodus is the rule and not the exception. It’s just Marcus Aurelius was the exception to the rule.” – Daily Stoic Guest/Contributor [16:22]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “We know what Seneca tried to do every night as he closed the day. We know what Marcus tried to think about in the morning… but really the most important thing to the Stoics, as far as forming good habits and kicking bad ones goes, it’s awareness.” – Stephen Hanselman [00:56]
• “Learn to ask of all actions: Why are you doing that? And you must start with your own.” – Marcus Aurelius (quoted by Stephen Hanselman) [01:49]
• “Stoicism and Christianity share the same cardinal virtues: courage, temperance, justice, wisdom… ultimately I think the pursuit of the good life is both a philosophical pursuit and a religious one.” – Daily Stoic Guest/Contributor [10:55]
• “If you really need them to understand… we don’t control what other people think… If it’s making us better, if we’re learning, that’s what matters.” – Daily Stoic Guest/Contributor [11:45]
• “You can see it from all these different angles… you take something new each time. Odysseus is heroic, or tragic, or monstrous depending on your perspective.” – Ryan Holiday & Guest [14:23–14:26]
• “I don’t know how many people are equipped at that age to be the most powerful person in the world. Even if you had a perfect upbringing, the majority of the time it goes badly.” – Daily Stoic Guest/Contributor [16:18]

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Important Timestamps & Segments

• 00:15–02:02 | Scraps of Stoic advice, the importance of awareness, and forming habits
• 07:59–09:58 | Young adults and how to use your 20s
• 10:00–12:04 | Sharing Stoicism with religious relatives; Stoicism’s compatibility with Christianity
• 12:07–14:46 | The value of The Odyssey, literature’s enduring lessons
• 14:46–16:22 | Marcus Aurelius as a father: What went wrong with Commodus?

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Conclusion

This episode delivers a practical guide to Stoic habit formation centered on self-inquiry and awareness, then seamlessly transitions into thoughtful, audience-driven discussions about philosophy’s relevance in contemporary life. Key discussions on interfaith compatibility, personal development, and classical literature ground Stoic wisdom in everyday challenges, while memorable quotes and live exchanges provide actionable insights for listeners at any stage.

Transcript

[Ryan Holiday]

Welcome to the daily Stoic Podcast, designed to help bring those four key Stoic virtues, courage, discipline, justice and wisdom into the real world.

[Stephen Hanselman]

Because of how Stoicism survives to us mostly in the form of scraps and fragments and letters, we don't exactly have a list of do's and don'ts. There are no ten commandments of Stoicism, no definitive book of what they believed or didn't. But in those scraps and fragments, we do get plenty. We know what Seneca tried to do every night as he closed the day. We know what Marcus tried to think about in the morning. We know what Epictetus and Musonius Rufus said we ought to avoid doing. And it's that latter category that's worth thinking about today. What habits did the Stoics say we ought to cease? What vices should we avoid? Don't be overheard complaining, even to yourself. That's Marcus. Don't put on airs about your self improvement. That's Epictetus. Don't overindulge in eating or drinking. Wsonius. Don't speak more than you listen. Zeno. Don't avoid difficulty. Seneca. Don't tie your identity to the clothes you wear, the things you own. Cato. Don't conceal what you truly believe. That's Arius Didymus. Don't go along to get along. That's Agrippinas. Don't be all about business, Marcus. Don't put off till tomorrow what can be finished today. Seneca. Don't shun people you disagree with. Seneca. Don't sleep the day away. Marcus. Don't neglect your friendships. Seneca. Don't waste time thinking you are going to live forever. That's all of them. We could list more, but really the most important thing to the Stoics, as far as forming good habits and kicking bad ones goes, it's awareness. Musonius Rufus believed that in too many circumstances we do not deal with our affairs in accordance with correct assumptions, but rather we follow thoughtless habit. And Marcus said that we should learn to ask of all actions, why are you doing that? And he said you must start with your own. I really want to tell you about the daily Stoic habits course that we have. It helps you do what the Stoics are talking about, which is how to avoid bad habits, how to form better new habits. I think it's one of the best things we've done. It's six weeks of habit formation, thinking about philosophy, applying it to your everyday life. These are habits I try to apply in my life that Marcus and Seneca And Epictetus and Musonius and all the Stoics we've talked about try to apply in theirs. It's great stuff, based on philosophy, psychology, research, history, and I think you're really going to get a lot out of it. You can check that [e-mail] habits or if you join Daily Stoic Life, which you can [e-mail], you get that course and all our other ones for free. So check both those out. Daily Stoic Life and Daily Stoic. Habits for success, Habits for Happiness.

[Daily Stoic Guest/Contributor]

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[Ryan Holiday]

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[Daily Stoic Guest/Contributor]

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[Ryan Holiday]

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[Daily Stoic Guest/Contributor]

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[Stephen Hanselman]

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[Ryan Holiday]

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[Daily Stoic Guest/Contributor]

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[Ryan Holiday]

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[Daily Stoic Guest/Contributor]

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[Ryan Holiday]

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[Stephen Hanselman]

But it was.

[Ryan Holiday]

Even though it was June, it was, like, freezing. Like, none of us were wearing shorts. We were rewearing our sweatshirts every day or down jackets, like it was freezing. And then we got to San Francisco and I was like, so.

[Daily Stoic Guest/Contributor]

And that is, you know, not what

[Ryan Holiday]

San Francisco is known for. Like, it was warmer taking a ferry out to Alcatraz than it had been any of the previous, you know, six, seven days of the trip. But San Francisco was awesome. The talk went great. It was a thousand people at the Tony Rembe Theater. It was this beautiful old, like, three layer theater. It was lovely. I appreciate everyone that came out, including my parents came, my aunt came, some friends from high School and college came. It was just. It was lovely. And then I got to walk across the street to a diner with a friend. I went to high school with one of my best friends from high school and then a college friend. And it was just like. It was like back in the old times, you know, we were further north than it was growing up, but we were just, you know, we stayed up late, talked about things. Now we all have kids. It was awesome. Anyways, if you want to come see me on tour or ask me a question, you can, dailystoaklive.com, grab the tickets. I'll be in Auckland, in Australia. I'll be in Boston, Nashville, D.C. detroit, Minneapolis. I think there's a couple VIP tickets left. All the dates are there dailystokelive.com but here's a couple of questions from San Francisco. Enjoy.

[Audience Member 1]

I just turned 20, and there are a hundred different ways that people tell you to spend your 20s. How do you suggest that myself and other young adults spend their energies at this age?

[Daily Stoic Guest/Contributor]

Yeah, this is a great question. Okay, you're 20 years old. How should you spend your time? I would go towards whatever the things that would teach you the most. Like when I was evaluating opportunities and, you know, I could work here. I could try this. I want to take this job or that job, or, you know, do I want to sign up for this or that? I was thinking, not how much am I going to get paid, or what do my parents think, or, you know, how does this compare to what my friends are doing? And I thought, how is this teaching me something that I don't know how to do? And I was really big on, like, getting paid to learn things, right? Like, oh, you're paying me to do this. But actually, I'm figuring out all these other things as part of that, right? Like, I got to be Robert Greene's research assistant. So on the one hand, I was making enough money to pay for my apartment, but I was also learning how to do the thing that I wanted to do. And so you have kind of the vague sense of where you want to end up or maybe you don't. And so you have to be even cast a wider net. But the thing you want to be going towards is the things that are teaching you, right? That are introducing you to people, to new ideas, to new. Like, I just didn't even know all the things that I didn't know. And so I would take things that would just get me way outside my comfort zone, challenge me, and that I was confident I was going to Learn something from doing. And that means being bad. That means being low on the totem pole. That means being misunderstood. People thinking you're wasting your time, but you know why you're doing all that. And it goes to that virtue we're talking about of wisdom. Right. Like you're being prepared for some future moment or opportunity that you can't quite conceive of yet. But what are the broad base of skills and knowledge that you want to accumulate along the way? That's kind of what my North Star was. Good luck.

[Audience Member 2]

Hello.

[Daily Stoic Guest/Contributor]

Hi.

[Audience Member 2]

Great stuff. Fairly early to this and really intrigued by it. I'm curious to. When I try to describe my enthusiasm for stoicism, the daily stoic, I find people kind of get kind of blurry eyed when I tell them about it and they're like, what are you talking about? I'm like, no, it's not controversial. Controversial. It's, it's actually, it's just really good stuff and you should try, you can

[Daily Stoic Guest/Contributor]

imagine when I, when I tried to tell my publisher after writing a marketing book what, what I wanted to do next. And then I get it.

[Audience Member 2]

And then to, to take it a step further, I have a couple of, of relationships with my family members who are deeply religious and I've highly respect them for that. And I believe they view this perhaps as controversial and I believe it is additive.

[Stephen Hanselman]

Sure.

[Audience Member 2]

And so I'm wondering if you could maybe speak to those two things as I look to communicate this great thing you have going.

[Daily Stoic Guest/Contributor]

Well, I grew up Catholic and Stoicism and Christianity share the same cardinal virtues, courage, temperance, justice, wisdom. So I do think they are additive or complementary. You know, there's nothing in Stoicism that is atheistic. In fact, they believe in all the gods, as says Romans. Let's say there were some, some disagreements between the Stoics and the Christians in ancient Rome. And then later when Christianity supplants philosophy, there are some, some, you know, the shoes on the other foot. So there's a long back and forth between the two. But, but ultimately I think the pursuit of the good life is, is a philosophical pursuit as well as a religious pursuit. I think one of the things Stoicism is uniquely designed around is like it doesn't matter if people get it or not. And if, if you really need them to understand there. I think there's a Stoic lesson in that. Right. We don't control what other people think. We don't, we don't get if they, if they appreciate it. And that's not really what we should be focused on if it works for us, if it's making us better, if we're learning, if it's interesting to us.

[Stephen Hanselman]

That's all great.

[Daily Stoic Guest/Contributor]

And that's kind of how I think about it.

[Audience Member 2]

Hello.

[Audience Member 1]

Hi. The Odyssey is a movie is coming out, and it's the Classics Book Club, which I'm a part of. Why do you think it's a good time to read that book and what does it mean to you?

[Stephen Hanselman]

Yes.

[Daily Stoic Guest/Contributor]

So the Odyssey is the sort of foundational myth, I think, of

[Stephen Hanselman]

the Greeks,

[Daily Stoic Guest/Contributor]

then the Romans, then all the way down to us. We were listening to the Emily Wilson translation and audiobook on. On the drive here in exchange for iPad Time for My Children. It's a story that is so complex and so long that, like, I think all great works, you. You take different things out of it each time. Right. You know, right as we're listening to. In the car, you were like, oh, wow. Like, so much of the beginning is not about Odysseus at all. It's about his son Telemachus, who's, you know, a young man trying to find his way in the world. And as my kids have gotten older, I think about, oh, like, this is. There's this coming of age part of it. And we did a daily stoic email pointing out just the way Emily Wilson renders, you know, the moodiness of Telemachus as a teenager, just how, like, thousands of years ago, you know, she's nailing this thing that's exactly like the teenager that I'm sure many of you have here. The first thing that struck my kids about the Odyssey when we started reading it several years ago was like, they just love the story of Polyphemus and the cave and that he tells him that his name is no Man. So he says, no man has stabbed out my eye, and nobody has stabbed my eye. And just like, I just love the idea that 2,500 years later, this joke still lands.

[Stephen Hanselman]

Right.

[Daily Stoic Guest/Contributor]

So something incredibly powerful about the Odyssey in that sense as well. You know, all of our stories in the years since have, you know, taken in some way from the Odyssey. There are obviously other great epics. The Bhagavad Gita is one, Gilgamesh is another.

[Ryan Holiday]

Right.

[Daily Stoic Guest/Contributor]

They all sort of map the hero's journey.

[Ryan Holiday]

And I think we should read all of them.

[Daily Stoic Guest/Contributor]

But I do think if you're philosophically inclined, it's hard to beat the Odyssey. And, you know, stoics talk about how we don't step in the same river twice. You take something new out of it each time Odysseus is heroic, and then in another reading, he's tragic.

[Ryan Holiday]

In another reading, he's monstrous.

[Daily Stoic Guest/Contributor]

And you can see it from all these different angles and take something new each time.

[Ryan Holiday]

That's what I think great literature and art does.

[Daily Stoic Guest/Contributor]

And she's mentions. We have this quarterly classics book club with the painted porch, which you're all welcome to do. We did Middlemarch for the first book and then we're doing the Odyssey, and then we're still arguing about what the

[Stephen Hanselman]

third book's gonna be, putting your daily dad and daily stoic hat on. What can we learn from Commodus? Is Marcus Aurelius responsible? What can you take away?

[Daily Stoic Guest/Contributor]

People ask me all the time, if I could ask Marcus Aurelius one question, what would I ask? I feel like you have to ask what happened with Commodus? He's crazy. He's even worse than Joaquin Phoenix portrays him in Gladiator. How does that happen? How does such a great man have such a shitty kid? Look, it's endlessly fascinating to debate. I think you can make one argument. Mark Sweelis has 12 kids. I think six of them die before reaching their teenage years. Just unfathomable loss and pain. Like if you were to go like, hey, what happened to this person? And you're like, oh, well, six of their siblings died before them, you'd be like, oh, that explains a lot. So, but, but I don't think it's good for your dad to be king. I don't. Like, powerful people tend not to have super well adjusted children. It's a tragedy. I mean, Marcus Aurelius is gone for like all of his reign. I think that would do a number on anyone. Marcus Aurelius has chosen to be emperor. He has great teachers who he listens to and he, you know, eases his way into the. He has a 20 year apprenticeship under Antoninus before he takes power. Commodus is thrust into power at what, 18 or 19? I mean, if that had happened to me, I probably would have been real bad too. I don't know how many people are equipped at that age to be the most powerful person in the world. Even if you had a perfect upbringing, the majority of the time it goes

[Ryan Holiday]

badly, as we see with the British

[Daily Stoic Guest/Contributor]

royal family, for instance. Historically, Commodus is the rule and not the exception. It's just Marcus Aurelius was the exception to the rule. And so we wonder why lightning didn't strike twice.