Podcast Summary: The Daily Stoic

Episode: Nobody is Coming to Save You (And That’s Good News) | Ask Daily Stoic

Host: Ryan Holiday (with Stephen Hanselman)
Date: December 18, 2025

Overview

This episode of The Daily Stoic podcast explores the core Stoic idea that "nobody is coming to save you" and why this is empowering news. Through a blend of personal reflection, insights from Stoic texts, and listener Q&A from the “New Year New You” Challenge community, Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman underscore the importance of self-reliance, personal responsibility, and the pursuit of virtue. The episode features practical Stoic advice on choosing personal guiding words, dealing with parental emotions in youth sports, and building self-value and discipline.

Main Themes and Purpose

• Stoic Self-Reliance: The notion that external rescue is unlikely—and how this empowers us to take command of our lives.
• Year-End Reflection and Goal-Setting: Using the Daily Stoic’s annual challenge to foster actionable growth through Stoicism.
• Listener Q&A: Addressing real-world applications of Stoic wisdom, including parenting, building self-worth, and habit formation.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Nobody is Coming to Save You (00:20–03:52)

• The Challenge of Our Times: Ryan outlines the feelings of uncertainty that plague modern life: AI, economic instability, political chaos.
  “There’s plenty to be outraged by, plenty to fear… it’s natural to want someone, anyone, to step in and fix it. But they’re not going to. That’s not how this works.” —Ryan Holiday (00:30)

• The Stoic Response: Drawing from Tolstoy, Kierkegaard, and Marcus Aurelius, Ryan reiterates that change must start from within.

  • Key Stoic Quotes:
    • “Blow your own nose.” —Marcus Aurelius
    • Epictetus’ advice: get active in your own rescue.

• Active Self-Command:
  “Command yourself. Get your body under control. Eliminate the vices that weaken you. Be useful to others. Build skills that last no matter what the world throws at you. Make a difference where you can. Be the savior you’d otherwise have waited around for. Because that’s the only one that’s coming.” —Ryan Holiday (02:45)

2. New Year New You Challenge (03:52–07:24)

• Personal Action: Ryan promotes the annual 21-day challenge as a way to operationalize Stoic wisdom:

  • Each day offers “one clear, actionable challenge” rooted in classic philosophy.
  • Emphasizes compounding daily effort rather than wishful thinking.

• Community and Resources: Invitation to join the challenge and Daily Stoic Life for support, courses, and ongoing engagement.

3. Listener Q&A Segments (07:24–20:13)

A. Choosing a Word for Your Year: Past vs. Present vs. Future (Caller Richard, 07:24–10:12)

• The Question: Should your “word of the year” be rooted in the past (e.g., “broke”), the future (“save”), or the present (“stillness”)?
  “What do you think the Stoics would say about choosing a word based on the past instead of the present or the future?” —Caller Richard (07:56)

• Ryan’s Insight (and Stephen’s):

  • Focus on what you are moving toward, not just what you wish to leave behind.
  • Seneca quote: “If you don’t know what port you’re sailing towards, no wind is favorable.”
  • Try “the opposite” approach per Epictetus — choose a positive anchor rather than a reminder of past mistakes.

  Quote:
  “If you just have the negative… you’re going to be a little bit reactive, and you’re not going to necessarily be moving forward.” —Ryan Holiday (08:55)

• Memorable Moment: Caller chooses “stillness” as his word, influenced by Ryan’s past picks, to weather what may be a “chaotic, dysfunctional, noisy” year. Stephen affirms:
  “Stillness is always good.” —Stephen Hanselman (09:56)

B. Parenting, Youth Sports, and Stoic Presence (Superintendent, 10:12–15:23)

• The Challenge: A school superintendent seeks advice on being a more Stoic parent when watching his kids play sports—combating overwhelming emotions and the impulse to coach or criticize.

  “It feels like my heart is on the court... I want to be more stoic when it comes to parenting them with their athletics and try to separate some of the emotion from the games.... I want to be a better dad in those moments where you want to coach, you want to help, but the reality is incredibly counterproductive.” —Superintendent (13:07–13:59)

• Ryan & Stephen’s Advice:

  • Use memento mori (reminders of mortality and impermanence) to stay humble; the “honor” of being in charge is fleeting.
  • The most important thing is: are your kids having fun? Are they learning?
  • Don’t let your ego or unfulfilled dreams get tangled up in your children’s activities.
  • Reference to Rich Cohen’s Pee Wees: “Is your son having fun?... So why do you give a shit?” (Paraphrased, 15:15)

  Quote:
  "So much of it is us and us inserting ourselves into it. That's what I try… what matters is: are they having fun?" —Ryan Holiday (15:19)

C. The Struggle to Value Yourself and Build Discipline (Caller 1, 15:23–20:13)

• The Admission: Caller shares difficulty building discipline and valuing his time and work, despite exposure to Stoic concepts.

  “I struggled in all my life… almost self-sabotaging myself because I didn’t have this way of finding value in the things I do… struggle with building discipline… and seeing value in the actions.” —Caller 1 (15:23–16:54)

• Stephen’s Response:

  • Referenced James Clear’s work: it’s about identity, not just habits.
  • “A lot of what holds us back from forming positive habits or making positive changes is that we don't really believe it." (16:54)
  • Sometimes, the issue is upstream—self-worth, which might require therapy in addition to Stoic practice.
  • Stoic Inspiration from Epictetus, who was born a slave and “not seen as having any worth” but developed unshakeable self-respect and strength anyway.

  Quote:
  “He [Epictetus] has to see that he’s worth something, that he matters, even if legally he doesn’t...” —Stephen Hanselman (18:43)

• Further Insight: Find control “where it matters”—even if life beats you down, put energy into what you can change.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Nobody’s coming to save you. And that’s good news.” —Ryan Holiday (00:20)
• “If you don’t know what port you’re sailing towards, no wind is favorable.” —Ryan Holiday (quoting Seneca, 08:55)
• “Stillness is always good.” —Stephen Hanselman (09:56)
• “You can read the books and you can see how other people… break them apart for us… but obviously inherently they are part of your life. This is how you have come to some of those things.” —Caller 1 (16:47)
• “He [Epictetus] has to decide that he’s powerful and important… even though legally he doesn’t [have power].” —Stephen Hanselman (18:43)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:20: Main theme — “Nobody is coming to save you”
• 03:52–07:24: 2026 New Year New You Challenge intro
• 07:24–10:12: Caller 2 (Richard) — picking a word for the year
• 10:12–15:23: Superintendent discusses parenting, youth sports & presence
• 15:23–20:13: Caller 1’s struggle with valuing self and building discipline

Flow & Tone

Ryan and Stephen maintain a thoughtful, encouraging, and direct style—balancing philosophical clarity with warmth. The callers’ questions feel genuine, and Ryan’s responses are both practical and grounded in Stoic tradition.

Summary

This episode delivers a hopeful yet challenging Stoic message: self-rescue is your responsibility and your privilege. Through annual community challenges and real-life listener questions, Ryan Holiday demonstrates how Stoic philosophy isn’t just intellectual—it’s a daily practice of setting intention, aligning values, and accepting responsibility for one’s life and impact. The answers given are rich with ancient wisdom but tailored to modern dilemmas, making the episode a compelling guide for anyone seeking to end the year with purpose and begin anew with intent.