The Terror of Knowing What The World Is About | Try The Other Handle

Summary

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The Daily Stoic Podcast

Episode: "The Terror of Knowing What The World Is About | Try The Other Handle"
Date: June 12, 2026
Host: Ryan Holiday

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Episode Overview

This episode explores two intertwined Stoic themes: the burden and importance of seeing the world clearly (even its darkest parts), and the practical wisdom of choosing how we interpret and respond to events in our lives. Drawing from the writings and lives of Marcus Aurelius and Epictetus, host Ryan Holiday examines how historical knowledge and the exercise of "choosing the right handle" equip us to be resilient, just, and wise amid life's inevitable challenges.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Terror of Knowing What the World Is About

[00:00 – 02:10]

• The Burden of History:
  Ryan reflects on how a deep study of history often reveals human cruelty and folly, which can be disheartening.
• Marcus Aurelius’ Weariness:
  Cites Marcus Aurelius' own struggles as a historian aware of history’s "cruelty and awfulness" but who still strove for goodness.
• Ignorance vs. Wisdom:
  – “There is no escaping the terror of knowing what the world is about, except perhaps not knowing. And ignorance, however soothing, is unfortunately a vice.” (Ryan Holiday, 00:50)
  – Engaging unflinchingly with reality is a duty for all, especially leaders.
• Personal Challenge to Listeners:
  Being informed and facing uncomfortable truths strips us of illusions, yet makes us stronger and more just—this is echoed as the path to greatness.

Try The Other Handle: Epictetus' Practical Exercise

[04:20 – 08:44]

• Epictetus' Philosophy:
  – “Everything has two interpretations or handles by which it can be grabbed. One that will make it harder, one that will make it easier.” (Ryan Holiday paraphrasing Epictetus, 04:28)
• Decision-Making in Difficult Events:
  – Ask: Are you focusing on offense or common ground? Are you seeing only what’s gone wrong or also what’s gone right?
• Epictetus' Direct Quote:
  – “Every event has two handles… If your brother does you wrong, don’t grab it by its wrongdoing… use the other: that he is your brother, that you were raised together, and then you’ll have hold of the handle that it carries.” (Reading Epictetus, 05:10)
• Interpretation Shapes Response:
  – The choice of handle determines whether we grow stronger, maintain hope, and retain agency or become stuck in resentment and helplessness.
• Parental Example:
  – Ryan applies this to parenting: When children misbehave, do you become angry, or do you create a teachable moment based on trust? – George Washington Cherry Tree Story:
  – “I’d rather you chop down my trees than tell a lie. Right? What handle are you going to choose as a parent, as a teacher, as a boss?” (Ryan Holiday, 07:15)
• Application in Everyday Life:
  – “Are you going to say, this was done to me, or are you going to say, this is done for me? …You grab the handle that makes you stronger…” (Ryan Holiday, 06:28)
• Historical Reference – Stockdale Paradox:
  – Discusses Admiral James Stockdale, who endured captivity by adopting a Stoic mindset: “If I did survive, I would turn this into the very best thing that happened to me. That’s choosing to grab the right handle.” (Ryan Holiday, 08:27)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the Responsibility to Seek Truth:
  – “Ignorance, however soothing, is unfortunately a vice. It is a violation of our responsibility to seek wisdom. And it is also a childish luxury that people involved in public life do not get to indulge.” (Ryan Holiday, 01:10)
• On Agency and Choice:
  – “You grab the handle that makes you stronger, the one that gives you agency, not the one that strips you of agency.” (Ryan Holiday, 06:43)
• Historical Allusions:
  – Ties Stoic advice to American history (Thomas Jefferson, George Washington) and modern leadership (Stockdale Paradox).

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Important Timestamps

• 00:00 – 02:10: The burden and value of understanding history; Marcus Aurelius’ example.
• 04:20 – 06:05: Introduction to Epictetus’ "handles" and decision-making framework.
• 06:06 – 08:44: Applications of "grabbing the right handle" in relationships, parenting, and adversity; Stockdale Paradox.

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Conclusion and Takeaways

Ryan Holiday closes by urging listeners to make deliberate choices in their interpretation of events—a practice grounded in Epictetus’ and Marcus Aurelius’ timeless Stoic wisdom:

“Which handle will you choose? Not the one that freezes you hopelessly in place, but the one that gives you hope, strength, and a path forward.”
(Ryan Holiday, 06:53)

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Quick Reference

• Main Stoic Virtues Highlighted: Courage, discipline, justice, and wisdom.
• Key Stoic Sources: Marcus Aurelius’ "Meditations," Epictetus’ "Enchiridion" and "Discourses."
• Practical Advice: In every situation, pause and ask: "Which handle will I choose?"—the one that empowers, or the one that imprisons?

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End of Summary

Transcript

[A]

Welcome to the daily Stoic podcast, designed to help bring those four key Stoic virtues, courage, discipline, justice and wisdom, into the real world. The terror of knowing what the world is about. There is a burden to the study of history. It not only takes a lot of work, it's heavy knowing what people have done to each other, knowing what they do to each other, making sense of the contradictions, the failures, the stupidity does not exactly fill one with hope for humanity. And perhaps this explains some of the weariness in Marcus Aurelius Meditations. Marcus was not just a student of history, but an aspiring historian, even working on, at one point, a little book called Deeds of the Ancient Greeks and Romans. He knew that history was so often the same thing happening over and over again. He knew it was cruelty and awfulness. It was bloody and pathetic. There is no escaping the terror of knowing what the world is about, except perhaps not knowing. And ignorance, however soothing, is unfortunately a vice. It is a violation of our responsibility to seek wisdom. And it is also a childish luxury that people involved in public life do not get to indulge. So, yes, you will have to face facts, you will have to get uncomfortable. You will have to take up the burden of history. And this will not always be fun. It will strip you of some of your illusions. It will also, it should be said, make you stronger and wiser and ultimately more just will make you great. As it did for Marcus Aurelius, who, despite his understanding of the world, still strove to be good and decent, refused to give in to despair or cynicism, and did his damnedest to be the exception to history's rules. You know what silently kills sales teams? The inability to see what's happening in their pipeline. And part of the reason they can't do that is because they use software or CRM that's so complicated that people don't even log in.

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Quince.com stoic try the other handle. Epictetus offered a powerful tool in his handbook, the Enchiridion, which the Stoics use as an exercise in decision making about difficult events. Everything Epictetus says has two interpretations or handles by which it can be grabbed. One that will make it harder, one that will make it easier. Do you take offense or do you focus on a common ground? Do you focus on all that's gone wrong or what has gone right? Ask yourself these questions about everything you see and feel. Try to always grab the right handle. That's from this week's entry in The Daily Stoic Journal. 366 days of writing and reflection on the art of living, which you can get anywhere books are sold, including, of course, my bookstore, the Painted Porch. You can check out thepaintedporch.com or come see us on Main street in Bastrop, Texas. Let's listen to Epictetus drill down on this. Every event has two handles, he says, one by which it can be carried and one by which it can't. If your brother does you wrong, don't grab it by its wrongdoing, because this is the handle incapable of lifting it. Instead, use the other. That he is your brother, that you are raised together, and then you will have hold of the handle that it carries. Zepictetus in 43. And then he says in discourses 4 1. No, it is events that give rise to fear when another has power over them or can prevent it, that a person becomes able to inspire fear. How is the fortress destroyed? Not by iron or fire, but by judgments. And it is here that we must begin. And it is from this front that we must seize the fortress and throw out the tyrants. So this idea of grabbing things by the handle. In fact, there's this interesting list.

[A]

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[B]

Thomas Jefferson wrote a bunch of, like, rules for one of his young relatives. And he says, somewhat elusively, he says, you know, always grab things by their smooth handle. I think it was Donald Robertson who pointed out to me that he's referring to Epictetus. Grabbing by the right handle instead of the rough handle, grab the smooth handle. The point being, stuff happens. Are you going to try to say, this was done to me, or are you going to say, this is done for me? Are you going to say, look at all I've lost? Are you going to say, look at all I've gained, as Epictetus says, You're going to say, look at my brother. What did he do? What an asshole. Are you going to say, this is my brother. I love him. He would never hurt me on purpose? You grab the handle that makes you stronger, the one that gives you agency, the one that. Not the one that strips you of agency. You grab the one that gives you hope, not the one that strips you of hope. You grab the one that gives you a path forward, not the one that freezes you hopelessly in place. What's the right handle? That's what we're thinking about. And every situation has a handle. And are you going to get mad, or are you going to use it as an opportunity? I think about this with my kids. They do something. Am I going to lose my temper and show them that I lose my temper and that they should be afraid of me, or that they should hide things from me? Or am I going to use it As a chance to talk to them, to teach them something. Famously, story of George Washington and the cherry trees. Teaching this lesson, his father catches him chopping down the cherry tree. He asks who does it. George Washington tells the truth. His father could be angry. He just has a confession from his son that he chopped down a priceless cherry tree instead. The moral of the story is, I'm glad that you told me the truth and you can trust me. I'm not going to punish you for having told me the truth. I'd rather you chop down my trees than tell a lie. Right? What handle are you going to choose as a parent, As a teacher, As a boss? By grabbing the right handle versus the wrong handle, are you making the relationship stronger? Better? Based on trust? Based on aligned incentives, based on shared history? Or by grabbing the wrong handle, are you showing them to lie? Are you showing them to hide things? Are you showing them that you should be feared? That you should be ignored? That you can't be taken seriously? That you're not really their ally or friend? Right? The handle we choose matters. Even Epictetus. You've got to imagine he's trapped in slavery. It's horrible. He spends the first 30 years of his life that way. Does he choose to see this as the worst thing that could have possibly happened? Or does he learn from it? Even the so called Stockdale Paradox? I knew that I would survive, he says. If I did, I would turn this into the very best thing that happened to me. That's choosing to grab the right handle. That's choosing to grab the smooth handle. Which is what you must do. Which is what we must all do in any and all situations. Talk soon. Hey there. Just a heads up.

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