Podcast Summary: The Daily Stoic

Episode: “They’re Not Wrong (They’re Just Cut Off From Truth) | What Expensive Things Cost”
Date: March 2, 2026
Host: Ryan Holiday

Overview

In this insightful episode, Ryan Holiday explores classic Stoic ideas around empathy, ignorance, and the hidden costs of material desires. Drawing from Marcus Aurelius, Seneca, Epictetus, and Diogenes, Ryan illustrates how understanding the limitations of others—and ourselves—can increase patience, while challenging listeners to examine what things truly cost, beyond their price tag. The episode features relatable personal anecdotes and practical Stoic exercises, maintaining a tone of patient reflection and frank, practical wisdom.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. On Ignorance and Empathy—“They’re Not Wrong, They’re Just Cut Off From Truth”

(00:00—04:26)

Understanding Others' Perspectives
- Many people act unkindly, foolishly, or against their best interests, not out of malice but because "their souls are cut off from truth," as Marcus Aurelius, citing Plato, puts it.
- “They’re not aware that they’ve fallen for a scam...they don’t realize that things are more complicated than they think.” – Ryan Holiday (00:23)
Victims of Circumstance
- It's not intentional wrongdoing—people can be victims of their background, education, and influences.
- “This is not without its consequences to you or to society, but it doesn’t change the fact that these people are victims, that they are not this way on purpose.” – Ryan Holiday (01:30)
The Practice of Patience
- By remembering this, Stoics can become more patient and empathetic.
- “When you keep this in mind, Marcus Aurelius says, it will make you more patient with other people. Besides, haven’t you been wrong before?” – Ryan Holiday (01:41)
- We’ve all made mistakes without realizing it at the time and benefitted from others’ patience.
Stoic Call to Extend Grace
- “Let’s extend that same patience and empathy to others. It is only fair.” – Ryan Holiday (02:23)

2. What Expensive Things Really Cost—The Stoic View

(10:24—20:11)

Beyond the Price Tag
- Inspired by the Cynics, Stoics warn that the real cost of possessions is not just their sticker price, but the “anxiety and the loss of our serenity” they bring.
- “The cost of an item isn’t simply what it’s sold for, but what it costs the owner to own.” – Ryan Holiday (10:32)
Seneca and Epictetus Quotes
- “Either there is nothing useful in them, or where most aren’t useful, some of them are superfluous, while others aren’t worth that much…But we don’t discern this and see them as free when they cost us so dearly.” – Seneca, Moral Letters (11:14)
- “If a person gave your body away to some passerby, you’d be furious. Yet you hand over your mind to anyone who comes along so that they may abuse you, leaving it disturbed and troubled. Have you no shame?” – Epictetus (12:20)
Personal Anecdote with New Floors
- Ryan shares his experience of installing new floors: while initially positive, it introduced new anxieties and sometimes caused family friction over keeping the floors perfect.
- “This thing that cost me money...didn’t just cost what it cost. It cost all the anxiety, it cost the arguments...You know, that part of you that just blurts out, trying to protect things.” – Ryan Holiday (13:22)
Therapist Advice and Acceptance
- “Just write it off. Like, write it off in your head. You spent the money, it’s gone. You can’t try to keep it all together.” – Ryan’s therapist (14:08)
- Protecting things is “not just a violation of the law of entropy. It’s a violation of the law of happiness.” – Ryan Holiday (14:58)
Letting Go—The Zen Cup
- References Zen wisdom: “the cup is already broken.” Accept that nothing can remain pristine; trying leads only to unhappiness.
Epictetus and the Cheaper Lamp
- Story: Epictetus replaces a stolen lamp with a cheaper one to avoid future worry and loss.
Misplaced Value and True Cost
- We often assign value to superficial things, not realizing “you are spending even more money than you think on things. And you’re spending your happiness is really what you’re spending on.” – Ryan Holiday (16:08)
Final Stoic Reframe
- Don’t neglect care, but accept entropy and impermanence. Over-attachment robs you of time, happiness, and relationships.
- “Are you going to spend it trying to preserve your floors?...You’re not even going to live there forever.” – Ryan Holiday (17:58)
- “Focus on what matters.” – Ryan Holiday (18:20)

Notable Quotes & Moments

Empathy for Others’ Limitations:
“They’re not wrong. They’re just cut off from truth.” – Ryan Holiday quoting Marcus Aurelius/Plato (00:10)
Reflection on Self and Others:
“Haven’t you done stuff that in retrospect seems dumb or weird? Of course you have, but you didn’t think that at the time.” – Ryan Holiday (02:03)
Material Cost is More Than Money:
“The cost of an item isn’t simply what it’s sold for, but what it costs the owner to own.” – Ryan Holiday (10:32)
On Letting Go:
“You can’t try to keep it all together...It’s a violation of the law of happiness.” – Ryan Holiday (14:58)
Prioritizing What Lasts:
“You cannot resist entropy. You cannot resist time. You cannot resist wear and tear. And if you do so, it comes at the expense of the most important thing, which is time, and the other most important thing, which is your happiness, and...your relationships.” – Ryan Holiday (17:06)
Call to Action:
“Focus on what matters.” – Ryan Holiday (18:20)

Timestamps for Key Segments

00:00 – 04:26: Empathy and ignorance—Stoic response to others’ errors
(Ad segment skipped)
10:24 – 20:11: The hidden psychological/emotional costs of material possessions; anecdotes and practical Stoic advice
14:08: Therapist’s “write it off” strategy
16:50: Epictetus’s lamp story and lessons on letting go
17:06: Accepting impermanence and focusing on relationships and meaning

Conclusion

Ryan Holiday’s episode reminds listeners that awareness, patience, and self-examination are foundational both in our treatment of others and our relationship with the material world. By applying Stoic perspectives, we can foster greater empathy, reduce needless anxiety, and focus on what genuinely nourishes happiness and meaning in our lives.

Transcript

A (0:00)

Welcome to the daily Stoic Podcast, designed to help bring those four key Stoic virtues, courage, discipline, justice and wisdom into the real world. They're not wrong. They're just cut off from truth. They don't know you understand that, right? They're not aware that they've fallen for a scam. They don't know that they've been taken down a rabbit hole. They don't realize that things are more complicated than they think, that there's more information that they haven't seen, that their perspective is being warped. In Meditations, Marcus Aurelius, no doubt exposed to the same ignorant and frustrating or strange people that exist today, tries to remind himself by quoting Plato that against their will, their souls are cut off from truth. This is why people do things that are unkind or stupid or against their self interest, because it doesn't seem that way to them. No, they're in the sway of a demagogue. They're limited by their education. They haven't had, as the famous opening line from the Great Gatsby reminds us, all the advantages that you've had. By the way, there's a new Hundred Year anniversary edition I've been reading and I love it. This is not without its consequences to you or to society, but it doesn't change the fact that these people are victims, that they are not this way on purpose. And when you keep this in mind, Marcus Aurelius says it will make you more patient with other people. Besides, haven't you been wrong before? Haven't you done stuff that in retrospect seems dumb or weird? Of course you have, but you didn't think that at the time. And guess what else? People were largely patient with you and you were afforded a certain amount of grace or you wouldn't have gotten to where you are now. So let's extend that same patience and empathy to others. It is only fair. Well, here we are, well into a new year, and it's worth taking some stock. Who do you want to be this year? 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You can click the link in the description below, or you can just go to betterhelp.com dailystoak to get 10% off your first month of therapy. If you're selling online or out of a storefront full time or a side hustle, you know it's a challenge. People gotta find you. You gotta wait for them to walk in. Well, today's sponsor, Whatnot, flips that on Whatnot, you go live and sell directly to people in real time. They see what you got, they ask questions, and they buy. And you know what? They keep coming back. Whatnot is the largest dedicated live shopping platform. Whether it's beauty, collectibles, electronics, luxury, fashion, even cookies. Sellers are building real thriving businesses on whatnot. Whatn buyers spend more than an hour a day on the app. And they're not just browsing, they're bidding and buying and coming back so you can go live, show off your projects, and turn that into real income. People selling on whatnot sell 10 times more than on other major marketplaces. And that's because you're not just listing products, you're building real connections with buyers. For a limited time, Whatnot will match your first $150 sold in the first month. You just got to visit whatnot.com sell to start selling. W-H-A-T-N-O-T.com sell whatnot.com sell what expensive things Cost from the cynics, the Stoics learned the powerful practice of focusing on the true worth of things. That the cost of an item isn't simply what it's sold for, but what it costs the owner to own. So much of our desire for material goods comes at the great price of both anxiety and the loss of our serenity. And even when gained, these things often leave us more anxious and less serene. So today, spend some time reflecting on what the things you buy actually cost you and see if they are really worth what you have been paying. And that's from today's entry in the Daily Stoic Journal. And we have some quotes from Seneca And Epictetus here. So, concerning the things we pursue and for what we vigorously exert ourselves, we owe this consideration. Either there is nothing useful in them, or where most aren't useful, some of them are superfluous, while others aren't worth that much. But we don't discern this and see them as free when they cost us so dearly. That's Seneca's Moral letters. Then we have Epictetus. If a person gave your body away to some passerby, you'd be furious. Yet you hand over your mind to anyone who comes along so that they may abuse you, leaving it disturbed and troubled. Have you no shame? Epictetus asks. And then we have Diogenes, Laertes quoting Diogenes of Sinope. That's Diogenes the cynic. He says, we sell things of great value for things of very little and vice versa. You know, they say the best things in life are free. That's not really true, but I would say that a lot of things are much more expensive than they appear, right? So we chase these things, we want these things. We want a fancy car, and then we're worried about making sure nothing happens to that fancy car. I remember a few years ago, I put new floors at my house. And on the one hand, I hated the old floors, and it made the house look better, and they were easier to walk on and improve my life. But then we had kids, and now, all of a sudden, there's this part of me that worries about the floors all the time, right? I don't want them to get scratched. I don't want water to sit on them. And so this thing that cost me money, it was not cheap to put new floors in the house. Didn't just cost what it cost. It cost all the anxiety, it cost the arguments between me and my wife about who's to blame for this scratch on the floor from the couch. You know, it cost goodwill between me and my kid because I'm like, hey, why did you spill? You know, that part of you that just blurts out, you know, trying to protect things. And the truth is, it really doesn't matter. And I remember I was talking to a therapist about some version of this, and she said, just write it off. Like, write it off in your head. You spent the money, it's gone. You can't try to keep it all together, right? You can't try to keep it pristine. It's like the people who buy a toy and then they want it in mint condition. I mean, this is not just a violation of the law of entropy. It's a violation of the law of happiness. You will not be happy if this is how you're spending all your time, trying to keep everything in one place, trying to keep them together. It's an illusion. It will not last. You cannot do it. You have to be able to let go. That's the old Zen saying that the cup is already broken. The cup is already broken. The Stoics knew that expensive things cost even more than their price tag. That's why there's the great story of Epictetus. He has this lamp. It's stolen. The next day he says, I'm going to go get a cheaper lamp so I don't have to worry about it getting stolen ever again. And I don't have to be sad that it's missing ever again. So, for the Stoics, remember, it's not just what actually is valuable and isn't. You know, And a lot of times we ascribe value to things that are superficial and meaningless and pointless. But also it's realizing that you are spending even more money than you think on things. And you're spending your happiness is really what you're spending on. So I want to leave you with that thought. It's not that you live in a pigsty. You don't care about anything. You should try to keep your things nice and not unnecessarily wear them down. But you also cannot resist entropy. You cannot resist time. You cannot resist wear and tear. And if you do so, it comes at the expense the most important thing, which is time, and the other most important thing, which is your happiness, and the other most important thing, which is the relationships, the people in your life. So you only have so much time to think or worry or spend time on things. Are you going to spend it trying to preserve your floors? You're not even going to live there forever. You're probably going to tear them out at some point anyway. No. Focus on what matters. Hey, it's Ryan. Thank you for listening to the Daily Stoic podcast. I just wanted to say we so appreciate it. We love serving you. It's amazing to us that over 30 million people have downloaded these episodes in the couple years we've been doing it. It's an honor. Please spread the word, tell people about it. And this isn't to sell anything. I just wanted to say thank you.