The Daily Stoic – "This Is the Dead's Day | Harsh Truths From The Stoics"
Host: Ryan Holiday
Episode Date: October 31, 2025
Episode Overview
In this Halloween episode, Ryan Holiday uses the juxtaposition of Halloween with Dia de los Muertos (The Day of the Dead) to reflect on the Stoic tradition of meditating on mortality—Memento Mori—and to explore a collection of "harsh truths" drawn from Stoic philosophy. Through stories, memorable quotes from Marcus Aurelius, Seneca, Epictetus, and others, Holiday delivers hard-won lessons on facing reality, prioritizing the essential, accepting our limits, and living more wisely, immediately, and honestly.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
The Value of Remembering Death: Memento Mori
- (00:28) Holiday contrasts the American celebration of Halloween, centered around costumes and fun, with the Mexican Dia de los Muertos, which is about collective remembrance and celebration of the deceased.
- Quote: “It may seem strange to celebrate death in this way... But is it really any stranger than banishing all thoughts of death from our lives and letting it return as a dreaded nightmare?” (03:04)
- Collective Ritual: Emphasizes the psychological and communal benefits of openly acknowledging mortality instead of repressing it.
- Montaigne’s Story: Shares an anecdote about Montaigne referencing a drinking game that drives home mortality in a jovial but poignant way.
- Quote: “Drink and be merry, for when you are dead you will look like this.” (02:20)
- Personal Reflection: Holiday keeps a Memento Mori coin at his desk and relates contemplating his own will and end-of-life paperwork.
- Quote: “When the Stoics talk about Memento Mori, it’s not just this theoretical philosophical exercise. It’s something practical you actually have to do.” (04:25)
Harsh Truths From the Stoics: Practical Wisdom for Everyday Life
1. Say What You Mean, Mean What You Say
- (14:30) Marcus Aurelius despised false honesty; you should speak the truth clearly, not just when convenient.
- Quote: “If it’s not true, don’t say it. But conversely… if it is true, you have to say it. Nobody said the truth would be easy.” (15:03)
2. Learn to Say No and Eliminate the Unessential
- (16:02) Most of what fills our lives isn’t necessary.
- Quote: “We do too many things because people ask. We do too many things because we've always done them. We do too many things because we are afraid to say no.” (16:30)
- Ask: “Is this thing necessary?” (16:40)
3. Radical Acceptance & The Art of Acquiescence
- (17:12) You can’t control most things. True peace comes not from control but acceptance.
- Quote: “You are not important. But that doesn’t mean you’re powerless… You control how you respond.” (18:03)
4. Cultivate Humility to Continue Learning
- (18:32) Epictetus: “It is impossible to learn that which you think you already know.”
- Be humble; the know-it-all won’t improve.
5. People Will Frustrate You, But That Doesn’t Excuse You From Goodness
- (19:10) Marcus Aurelius warns us that people will be “jealous and annoying and… difficult,” but we must still do our part well.
- Quote: "[People] can't implicate you in ugliness… [Life] is incomplete without those kinds of people… we share an affinity and a bond for each other." (20:05)
6. Ambition Tied to Externals Is Insanity
- (20:35) True sanity is tying happiness to your actions, not outcomes.
- Quote: “Ambition is when we tie our happiness to what other people do or say or decide. Sanity is when we tie it to our own actions.” (21:20)
- The story of Holiday and book sales; success is writing well, not bestseller status.
7. On True Literacy
- (22:25) Referencing General James Mattis: If you haven’t read hundreds of books, you're functionally illiterate.
- It’s about how you read—intensively, repeatedly, reflectively—not just what you read.
8. Exercise, Journaling, and Active Reflection
- (24:40) Physical rigor builds discipline. Stoics were athletes as well as thinkers.
- Quote: “We treat the body rigorously so it is not disobedient to the mind.” (25:10), Seneca
- Journaling is essential to Stoic practice; you must reflect and write regularly to grow.
9. Cut Out Nonessential Activities
- (27:12) Constantly ask, “Is this essential?” Focus brings excellence.
10. Walks & Connection with Nature
- (27:55) Seneca praises wandering outdoor walks: “They nourish the mind, calm you, and get you out of your head.” (28:15)
11. Stop Looking for Approval
- (28:55) Epictetus: Looking for validation from others compromises your integrity.
- Quote: "If you need a witness, be your own." (29:10)
- Marcus Aurelius: “We love ourselves more than other people, but… care about their opinions more than our own.” (29:35)
12. Stop Complaining
- (30:05) Don’t let anyone (not even yourself) hear you complain. Complaining only makes things worse.
13. The Urgency of Time: You Are Always Dying
- (30:35) Seneca says every day you let slip is as good as dead to you; don’t waste it.
- Quote: “Now is now. It is the only thing you have for certain. Memento Mori. You are mortal. Live and act accordingly.” (31:23)
14. Choose the Hard Path
- (31:55) Marcus Aurelius practiced doing things with his non-dominant hand as a metaphor for embracing challenge.
15. Mind Your Own Business
- (33:07) Only correct others’ mistakes if you are perfect yourself. Focus on your own development.
16. Talk Less, Listen More
- (33:57) Zeno: Two ears, one mouth—a reminder to listen twice as much as you speak.
17. Stop Puffing Yourself Up
- (34:45) Don’t brag; embody virtue. Ego is the enemy.
18. Seek No Recognition for Doing Good
- (35:30) Do good for its own sake, not for favor or acknowledgment.
19. Don’t Follow the Mob
- (36:25) Think for yourself; don’t join crowds uncritically. Quoting Chrysippus and Mark Twain.
20. Fame and Legacy Are Meaningless After Death
- (37:00) Marcus Aurelius notes posthumous fame is of no benefit to the dead.
21. Avoid Anticipatory Anxiety
- (37:40) Don’t extrapolate the worst-case scenario. Stick with the situation at hand.
- Quote: “He who suffers before it is necessary suffers more than is necessary.” (38:35), Seneca
22. It’s Not About You
- (39:45) Epictetus: It's our opinion, not the event, that upsets us. Don't take things personally.
23. Deep, Focused Work Matters
- (40:05) Do tasks as if it’s the last thing you’ll ever do; eliminate distractions for quality work.
- Quote: “Do it like it’s the only thing in your life.” (40:22)
24. Stop Drifting; Focus Your Efforts
- (41:18) Don’t wander aimlessly—lock in on what matters most.
25. Don’t Care What Others Think
- (41:54) Marcus Aurelius “didn’t give a fuck” about others’ opinions—neither should you.
26. The Lifelong Practice of Wisdom
- (42:45) Real progress requires ongoing, active work; there’s no “arrival.”
27. No One Is Perfect; Aim for Daily Progress
- (43:10) Epictetus was happy to meet people who were trying, not just Sages.
28. We Suffer Through Perception, Not Events
- (43:35) “Things are not asking to be judged by you… We suffer more in our imagination than in reality.” (43:55), Seneca
29. Make Time for Reflection
- (44:30) Concentrate fully; don’t multitask. Stop seeking perfection—strive to get better.
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- “Drink and be merry, for when you are dead you will look like this.” — Montaigne’s anecdote (02:20)
- “If it’s not true, don’t say it. But conversely… if it is true, you have to say it.” — Ryan Holiday on honesty (15:03)
- “Ambition is when we tie our happiness to what other people do… Sanity is when we tie it to our own actions.” (21:20)
- "If you need a witness, be your own." — Epictetus (29:10)
- "Now is now. It is the only thing you have for certain. Memento Mori. You are mortal." — Holiday (31:23)
- “He who suffers before it is necessary suffers more than is necessary.” — Seneca (38:35)
Timestamps to Key Sections
- 00:28 – Memento Mori and cultural attitudes toward death
- 16:02 – The necessity of “no,” focusing on the essential
- 18:03 – Control, acceptance, and humility
- 21:20 – Ambition versus sanity
- 25:10 – Exercise, journaling, and self-discipline
- 29:10 – Approval-seeking and personal integrity
- 31:23 – The urgency of time and living purposefully
- 35:30 – Doing good for its own sake
- 37:00 – The myth of legacy and fame
- 38:35 – Anxiety and suffering in imagination
- 43:10 – No perfection, but daily improvement
Tone and Style
Holiday’s delivery is direct, honest, and no-nonsense—echoing the content of Stoic admonitions themselves. The episode mixes anecdotes, practical life truths, and memorable epigrams, aimed at inspiring listeners to take responsibility, focus on essentials, and cultivate a disciplined, resilient approach to life’s temporary journey.
Summary for New Listeners
This episode provides a rapid-fire compendium of what the Stoics believed were life’s crucial—but often uncomfortable—truths. Drawing on ancient voices and contemporary interpretation, Holiday advocates for living urgently, humbly, intentionally, and with deep acceptance of mortality. For anyone seeking to declutter their mind and life and anchor themselves in what truly matters, this episode serves as a bracing and motivating guide.