Ryan Holiday (3:58)

I got to get groceries. We play a game where they try.

Stephen Hanselman (4:01)

To throw as much stuff into the cart as they can get away with. And then I see what I can get away with sneaking out of the cart. But this is kind of our weekly routine. We go to Whole Foods all the time, and when we're not physically near a Whole Foods like in Austin, we get it delivered. I'm a big fan of Whole Foods, actually. In my talk in Austin just the other day, I talked about John Mackey, the founder of Whole Foods. Cause I love Whole Foods commitment to high standards for their ingredients and sourcing, how they treat their vendors, the dyes they keep out of their food, the preservatives they keep out of their food, most of the staples in our pantry, in our freezer, as well as the fruit that my kids go through like maniacs. It all comes not just from Whole Foods, but from their house brand. 365 by Whole Foods Market.

Ryan Holiday (4:46)

You can enjoy so many ways to.

Stephen Hanselman (4:48)

Save on cozy fall meals at Whole Foods Market.

Ryan Holiday (4:51)

I'll see you there. Stop caring what people think. This is May 26, the Daily Stoic. And the quote today is from Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 1214. I'm constantly amazed by how easily we love ourselves above all others. Yet we put more stock in the opinions of others than in our own estimation of self. How much credence we give to the opinions of our peers and how little to our very own. Then the meditation says how quickly we disregard our own feelings about something and adopt someone else's. We think a shirt looks good at the store, but view it with shame and scorn if our spouse or co worker makes an offhanded remark. We can be immensely happy with our own lives until we find out that someone we don't like has even more or worse or more precariously. We can feel good about our accomplishments or talents until some third party validates them. Like most stoic exercises, this one attempts to teach us that although we control our own opinions, we don't control what Other people think about us, about ourselves least of all. And for this reason, putting ourselves at the mercy of these opinions and trying to gain the approval of others are a dangerous endeavor. Don't spend too much time thinking about what other people think. Think about what you think. Think instead about the results, about the impact, and about whether it is the right thing to do. I think about Cato when I think about this idea. So Cato famously is very wealthy, but he lives quite frugally. He doesn't wear a hat when he walks outside in Rome. He doesn't wear a fancy toga. He's often barefoot. These are things that people would have thought to be low class or out of style. Cato sort of marches to the beat of his own drummer. And I think those things he was pursuing were good unto themselves. But what I think he was really doing is practicing, cultivate, not caring what other people thought about him, not caring about his reputation. And so, famously, when public opinion changes in Rome, Caesar appeals to the masses. Rome is going in a dangerous direction. Cato doesn't go with the tide. He stands for what's right. He stands for what he believes. He doesn't care that he's often the odd man out. People are questioning him, that people are judging him. He's practiced for this very moment. And I don't think it's just big stuff like this. I mean, it's about cultivating that sense of what you need to do, what you think about what's right for your family, what's right for yourself, and then being okay, being judged or looked at askance or whatever. I mean, being a parent has been very good for me in this. Right. Like, maybe you don't like to hurt other people's feelings. You don't like to say no. You don't want people to know how you think about things. But with a kid, you're like, oh, no, this isn't about me. If I say yes, yes, yes to all the stuff I don't want to do that comes out of the time that I spend with my family. Or if you are really conscious about what other people think about you, if they think you look silly or stupid, think about the laughs that deprives you of with your kids. Think about the memories that this deprives you of with your kids. Think about how buttoned up and restrained this makes you. We respect ourselves. We know what's important to us. We know what we value. So why do we care what other people think? Right? We don't control it. And we have to get comfortable being judged. We have to be comfortable sitting with our own self estimation. We have to be comfortable with what we we know is the right thing to do, about what the results are of our decisions, about the impact we're trying to have. And that's what matters.

Stephen Hanselman (8:40)

Hey, it's Ryan. Thank you for listening to the Daily Stoic Podcast. I just wanted to say we so appreciate it.

Ryan Holiday (8:47)

We love serving you. It's amazing to us that over 30.

Stephen Hanselman (8:51)

Million people have downloaded these episodes in the couple years we been doing it. It's an honor.

Ryan Holiday (8:55)

Please spread the word, tell people about it.

Stephen Hanselman (8:58)

And this isn't to sell anything. I just wanted to say thank you.

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Stephen Hanselman (9:32)

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Ryan Holiday (9:36)

They are to be avoided if at all possible.

Stephen Hanselman (9:39)

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