The Daily Stoic | "We Can Give This to Each Other | Be Stingy With Time"

Host: Ryan Holiday
Date: December 2, 2025

Episode Overview

This episode of The Daily Stoic with Ryan Holiday centers on two Stoic themes: our collective obligation to care for others and the personal wisdom of being miserly—or stingy—with our time. Drawing on Seneca’s teachings and the Roman legacy of the “grain dole,” Ryan reflects on how we can give tangibly (like providing meals on Giving Tuesday) and intangibly (by being intentional with how we spend our time). The episode includes actionable reflections, historical context, and personal anecdotes about the value of both generosity and boundaries.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. The Roman Grain Dole and Stoic Duty to Others

[00:55]

• Ryan references Seneca’s essay “On the Shortness of Life,” specifically a letter to his father-in-law Paulinus, who was responsible for the Roman “grain dole”—an ancient form of social support that distributed grain to poor citizens.
  • "The Roman Empire was at that time enormous, with a population of some 45 million citizens... the government distributed free grain to the poor and the suffering, ensuring that everyone had enough to eat, doing their Stoic duty to care for the common good..." [01:29]
• He connects this social obligation to the Stoic concept of the circles of concern (from Hierocles): starting with the self, then growing outward to family, community, country, and the world.
  • “We have to draw these outer rings inwards, basically saying that the people in the outer circle need our help.” [02:11]

2. The Modern Parallel: Global Hunger and Giving Tuesday

[03:05]

• Ryan highlights the modern reality: close to a billion people go hungry each night, including millions of children in America.
  • "It's mind blowing to think that nearly a billion people around the globe go to bed hungry every night. More than 47 million people in America are food insecure, including 14 million children." [02:26]
• He introduces Giving Tuesday as a modern opportunity to act on Stoic values by supporting efforts like Feeding America.
  • “Instead of Black Friday and Cyber Monday, this is what we focus on… We're trying to raise $300,000 that'll provide 3 million meals.” [03:42]
• Notably, he shares his own significant donation to set the example.
  • "I put in the first 30,000. That's 10% of the goal. And then I'm just hoping that this community of roughly 1 million people can come together." [04:22]
• Emphasizes collective action:
  • “A dollar or two can provide as many as 10 meals... Let's be good stoics today.” [04:40]

3. The Value of Time: Insights from Seneca

[08:06]

• The episode’s second half pivots to a meditation on time, referencing Seneca's “On the Shortness of Life”.
  • “One of the most common sayings we hear, and you might have said this yourself, is that life is short. And it is, but as Seneca remarked, it's pretty long if you know how to use it.” [08:19]
• Ryan explores how people are financially stingy but habitually wasteful with time.
  • "No person would hand out their money to a passerby. But how many of us hand out our lives? We're tight fisted with our property and money, and yet we think too little of wasting time. The one thing we should all be the toughest misers about." [09:36]
• Summarizes Seneca’s core lesson:
  • “It is not that we all have too short a time to live, Seneca says, but that we squander a great deal of it. Life is long enough and it's given in sufficient measure to do many great things if we spend it well.” [10:01]

4. Personal Anecdotes: The Cost of Misallocated Time

[10:54]

• Ryan shares two personal stories:
  1. Pursuing a $200 Credit:
     • He estimates he spent more than $200 worth of his time chasing a TV delivery issue.
       • "I'd already objectively spent more than $200 of my time on this thing... If you just asked me, hey, would you spend $200 more on the TV and not have to go through this? I would have taken that option as well." [11:09]
  2. Time at His Bookstore:
     • He enjoys meeting readers but notes that saying yes to every greeting would exhaust all his available time.
       • "People come by and they want to say hi. And I think sometimes people think it's rude that I won't run downstairs to see everyone that's here. And I can't do that..." [12:06]
     • He draws the boundary:
       • “You should be kind and treat people well... But you have to be a bit of a miser with your time because you're going to have to hurt people's feelings or not give them everything they want. When you say no, you're gonna have to say no sometimes and that's not fun. But I always try to remind myself who, when I'm saying no to one person, I am also saying yes to something else.” [12:40]

5. Practical Stoic Reflection: How to Be Miserly with Time

[13:02]

• Ryan prompts listeners to put a real value on their time and periodically reassess recurring commitments:
  • "Try to think about things that you can take off your plate so you can get that time back. But then think about what you are frivolously spending your time on and if that's worth it..." [13:20]
• He encourages saying no as a positive act—knowing it enables a yes elsewhere in your life.
• Echoes of Seneca on perspective:
  • “If your neighbors encroached on your property, you would object, but if your neighbor came over and just wanted to gossip about nonsense, you would indulge that, right? And that's not a good idea. You have to be miserly with your time. Not selfish, not cruel... but a bit miserly with your own time and be stingy with it." [13:55]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the Roman legacy of caring for others:
  “Just as the Romans saw themselves as obligated to help those in need, we have to step up today.” [02:58]
• On modern giving:
  “Let's be good stoics today. Let's give here on Giving Tuesday and fulfill that obligation.” [04:40]
• On the difference between money and time:
  "No person would hand out their money to a passerby... But how many of us hand out our lives?" [09:41]
• On practical boundaries:
  "When I'm saying no to one person, I am also saying yes to something else. And conversely, when I'm saying yes to some inquiry, I'm also saying no to someone or something else, right? And that's just the struggle that we're on." [12:46]
• On making time count:
  “At the end of your life, when you go, man, that flu by I wish I had just one more day to do X. One more hour to do X. Right? Are you going to look back and be like, well, I am. I am glad that I spent X many hours doing this.” [13:28]

Timestamps for Important Segments

• [00:55]—Historical context: Seneca, Paulinus, and the Roman grain dole
• [02:11]—Circles of concern: from self to world
• [03:05]—Modern hunger and call to action for Giving Tuesday
• [04:22-04:40]—Fundraising details and personal contribution
• [08:19]—Introduction to the topic of time and Seneca’s philosophy
• [09:36]—Analogy: giving away time vs. money
• [10:54]—Ryan’s story about wasted time on a TV delivery
• [12:06]—The balance between kindness and boundaries at his bookstore
• [13:02]—Reflection prompts: valuing and reclaiming time
• [13:55]—Closing advice: be a bit “miserly” with your time

Summary Takeaways

• Stoicism calls us to support others, not just in words but actions, embodying the ideal through tangible giving.
• Giving Tuesday is an opportunity to translate Stoic values into real-world impact by helping feed those in need.
• Seneca’s lessons remind us that while we guard our money and property zealously, we let our time slip away without a thought; the wise person is careful with their hours.
• Being “stingy” with your time isn’t selfish; it's an essential discipline to ensure you use your one nonrenewable resource intentionally, for yourself and your highest purposes.
• Reflection and regular reassessment of how we spend our time can help align our daily habits with our values and aspirations.

For further inspiration or to join the cause, visit DailyStoic.com/feeding.