You Can Skip This Part of the Nightmare | Stoicism, Across the World

Summary

The Daily Stoic Podcast Episode Summary

Episode: You Can Skip This Part of the Nightmare | Stoicism, Across the World
Host: Ryan Holiday / Daily Stoic
Date: April 7, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode centers on a core tenet of Stoic philosophy: while we can't always control misfortune, pain, or injustice, we can control our reaction, thus sparing ourselves from compounding our suffering. Ryan Holiday draws from ancient Stoic figures and their resilience in the face of adversity, then transitions to a featured interview on Australian TV about Stoicism’s global resurgence and modern relevance.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Facing Misfortune: The Two Fates

[00:00 – 03:18]

• The host opens with a meditation on setbacks—being fired, cheated on, public humiliation—and how these are age-old human experiences.
• Distinguishes between:
  • The first fate, the initial adversity, which is unavoidable.
  • The second fate, which is how we respond—whether we become embittered or handle it with dignity.
• Ancient Stoics as examples:
  • Rutilius Rufus and Seneca faced false charges.
  • Agrippinas and Epictetus were exiled.
  • Marcus Aurelius’s wife, Faustina, faced potentially unfounded public scrutiny.
  • None could control what happened, but all could choose how to respond.
• Main lesson: "They did not shoot themselves with the second arrow… They didn’t make their fate worse."
  • Notable Quote (Host, 02:39):

    “You may well be in the middle of a nightmare, but you can skip part of it. This last part if you choose.”

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2. Personal Updates and a Bit of Humor from Ryan

[04:19 – 06:35]

• Ryan sets the scene: recording late in the studio after missing family time for a live interview with Australian TV.
• Shares a humorous story about “code browns” (fecal incidents) in Australian pools, linking it to a personal memory with his son.
• Uses the lighthearted anecdote as an on-ramp to discussing serious Stoic practice—even juxtaposed against life’s absurdities.

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3. Interview Segment: Stoicism’s Global Appeal

[06:35 – 11:51]

What is Stoicism?

[07:06]

• Ryan clarifies:

  "It’s not just that stiff upper lip… Stoicism is an ancient philosophy that goes back almost 2,500 years. And it's about this idea that, you know, we don't control what happens, but we control how we respond to what happens..." (Ryan Holiday, 07:06)

• Stoic philosophy teaches us to see every challenge as a chance to act with virtue and excellence.

Why Is Stoicism Resonating Today?

[07:46]

• Contemporary life is full of uncertainty and change, just like in ancient times—only “supercharged by technology and social media.”
• Stoicism offers practical guidance for enduring disruption.

Key Stoic Tools for Modern Life

[08:43]

• Marcus Aurelius’s Meditations cited as an example of using journaling to process, not broadcast, frustrations.
• Stoicism as a “series of thought exercises and practical tools” for all walks of life:
  • Whether you’re a leader, an employee, or facing discrimination and powerlessness.
• Notable Quote (Ryan Holiday, 09:04):

  "If Stoicism just prevents us from making the problems we're dealing with worse, it's already going to help us get better in that regard."

On “Brocism” and Misconceptions of Stoicism

[10:10]

• Addresses the rise of “brocism”—a distortion of Stoicism into a cold, individualistic “hack.”
  • True Stoicism emphasizes four virtues: courage, self-discipline, wisdom, and justice.
• Community, empathy, and obligation are central to Stoic thinking.
• Notable Quote (Ryan Holiday, 10:33):

  "If you think stoicism is this recipe for being more selfish, for being disconnected, for being a better sociopath, you're getting it wrong."

Personal Transformation Through Stoicism

[10:59]

• Ryan shares Stoicism made him "a better person, a more caring person, a more empathetic person, a better parent, a better spouse, a better citizen."

Tour Promotion and Return to Humor

[11:22]

• Ryan lightly jokes about returning to Australia—and “rock pool” swimming (with a callback to the “code brown” story), keeping the tone approachable.

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Notable Quotes

• Ryan Holiday [02:39]:
  “You may well be in the middle of a nightmare, but you can skip part of it. This last part if you choose.”
• Ryan Holiday [07:06]:
  “It’s not just that stiff upper lip… we don't control what happens, but we control how we respond to what happens.”
• Ryan Holiday [09:04]:
  "If Stoicism just prevents us from making the problems we're dealing with worse, it's already going to help us get better in that regard."
• Ryan Holiday [10:33]:
  "If you think stoicism is this recipe for being more selfish... you're getting it wrong."
• Ryan Holiday [10:59]:
  “Stoicism has made me a better person, a more caring person, a more empathetic person..."

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:00–03:18 – Opening meditation: adversity, the two fates, and Stoic response.
• 04:19–06:35 – Ryan’s behind-the-scenes update and pool story.
• 06:35–07:06 – What is Stoicism? (TV interview segment begins)
• 07:46–08:25 – Why Stoicism is trending in modern life.
• 08:43–09:52 – Stoic journaling, thought tools, and practical application.
• 09:52–10:59 – Addressing online reinterpretations (“brocism”) and real Stoic virtues.
• 11:22–11:51 – Tour promo and closing humor.

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Memorable Moments

• Ryan’s humorous “code brown” swimming pool story links the mundane to deeper lessons about resilience and perspective [05:47, 11:22].
• Direct, accessible explanations of Stoic concepts—perfect for newcomers.
• Strong stance distancing Stoicism from toxic “manosphere” ideologies, reinforcing justice and empathy as core virtues.

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Tone & Style

• Approachable, warm, and candid.
• Blends serious practical advice with humor and humility.
• Maintains a focus on Stoic philosophy as helpful for everyone, not just as a “life hack” for personal gain.

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For more, and for tour information: dailystoiclive.com

Transcript

[Podcast Host]

Welcome to the daily Stoic podcast, designed to help bring those four key Stoic virtues, courage, discipline, justice and wisdom, into the real world. You can skip this part of the nightmare. You screwed up. You got screwed. You were fired. You were cheated on, you were humiliated. After years of service, you failed in public. You made an inexcusable mistake. Somebody else's mistake cost you big. The mob is piling on gleefully. So this happens as it has happened to people for as long as there has been such a thing as society. And what happens most of the time that this happens, it is a life changing event and it often turns that person into a different kind of person. They get bitter, they get angry, they get radicalized. The first fate is not something we can prevent, at least not at this point. The second one, we can spare ourselves that. Rutilius Rufus was brought up on false charges. So was Seneca. Agrippinas and Epictetus were exiled. Marcus Aurelius wife Faustina may have been completely unfaithful to him. Or perhaps she was a victim of totally unfair rumors about her virtue. None of this was fair. It was not their fault. It was not in their control. But who they became for going through that ordeal, for surviving those whispers, those falls from grace, that injustice as they understood it, well, that was up to them. They chose to bear it with dignity. They decided not to shrug it off. They decided not to compromise their principles. They chose, as Marcus Aurelius wrote, to not be like their enemies. They did not shoot themselves with the second arrow, as we discussed. They didn't make their fate worse. You may well be in the middle of a nightmare, but you can skip part of it. This last part if you choose. If you're running a business, you know the deal with most CRMs. They are packed with a bunch of features. You're never going to use clunky interfaces, and you spend a bunch of time just trying to find the basic info and then you stop using them. Well, that's where today's sponsor, pipedrive comes in. It's a simple sales CRM tool for small and medium sized businesses. Pipedrive brings your entire sales processes into one dashboard, giving you a crystal clear, complete view of the sales process as well as customer information. So you stay in control and you can close more deals faster. And it all centers around the visual sales pipeline, where you can see every deal, what stage it's in and what needs to happen next. Pipedrive is powerful enough to scale with your business, but simple enough that your team can actually use it right now on day one, switch to a CRM built by salespeople for salespeople and join over 100,000 companies already using Pipedrive right now. If you use the link, you'll get a 30 day free trial. No credit card or payment needed. Just head over to pipedrive.com stoic to get started. That's pipedrive.com stoic and you can be up and running in minutes. If you're selling online or out of a storefront, it's a full time gig for you or a side hustle. You know the challenge.

[Ryan Holiday]

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[Ryan Holiday]

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[Podcast Host]

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[Ryan Holiday]

hey, it's Ryan. Welcome to another episode of the Daily Stoke podcast. I'm sitting here in the studio, not at my desk where I normally record it. It's what, 6:30pm didn't get to pick up my kids and take them to lacrosse today. Samantha had to do that because I was doing a live hit on a television show in Australia today. Extra, hosted by David Campbell and Sylvia Jeffries. They wanted to have me on cause I'm gonna be in Australia in October. I'm doing Sydney and Melbourne, Brisbane, Perth and Auckland, those sort of middle two weeks in October. I'll link to that. You can also just grab [e-mail], but it's funny, they have you get on a couple minutes before you start recording and you usually get to watch a couple minutes of the show. I'm reading an article by George Wills about the civil rights movement for something I'm researching. So I'm sitting here reading this very serious thing about the civil rights movement. And the story before I'm about to go on is a story about Code Browns in the Australian pools and the cost it takes to clear out these pools every time they find fecal matter in it. Which is hilarious because my son and I, last time we were in Australia, two summers ago when I was doing some talks, we were about to jump into the pool on the Bondi beach trail. There's like the pool, Icebergs pool, there's Clovelly, there's Bronte, there's a bunch of

[Podcast Host]

pools in a row.

[Ryan Holiday]

We were doing all of them like in one day. And we'd done the first one, we've done the second one and we're about to jump in Clovelli.

[Podcast Host]

And he goes, ah, what is that?

[Ryan Holiday]

That's disgusting. And there it was floating on the top. And it's funny. We were just jumping in our pool the other day and he mentioned this story and he was laughing and cackling about it. It's like, honestly, one of their favorite memories. So it was hilarious for me to watch this segment right before my segment. And of course, as soon as I, I got on, I wanted to mention it because, you know, I can get on TV and talk seriously about stoic philosophy or I could talk about, you know, the hard hitting real world issues that are in the news. So let me bring you that segment where I'm talking about stoic philosophy on TV in Sydney. But I would love to see you while I'm in Australia. As I said, I'm doing Auckland, Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Perth, all there in October. You can grab [e-mail] welcome back.

[Interviewer 1]

It's a question more and more people are asking now that what if the secret to handling this modern life is actually written thousands of years ago? Stoicism is an ancient philosophy built on resilience. It's built on discipline and perspective. And it's now having a major global comeback, especially due to our next guest.

[Interviewer 2]

Yeah. Leading that movement is best selling author and Daily Stoic founder, Ryan Holiday, who joins us live from Austin, Texas.

[Interviewer 1]

Ryan, always great to see you.

[Interviewer 2]

Great to chat. For anyone who hasn't heard of this term before, stoicism, can you explain what it means?

[Ryan Holiday]

Yeah. It's not just that stiff upper lip. Keep calm and carry on. It's not just emotionlessness and invulnerability. Stoicism is an ancient philosophy that goes back almost 2,500 years. And it's about this idea that, you know, we don't control what happens, but we control how we respond to what happens. And the Stoics thought that we could see everything as a challenge, something we could rise to meet with with excellence and with virtue. And so it's this philosophy that helps us deal with both the big and the small problems of everyday life.

[Interviewer 1]

So what's going on?

[Ryan Holiday]

Why is this.

[Interviewer 1]

And you would know you're at the forefront of this. Why are people resonating to Stoicism?

[Ryan Holiday]

Well, a lot is happening that's outside of our control. That's scary, that's frustrating, that's confusing. We are in a moment of profound change and disruption, which, by the way, so were the ancients. That is the most timeless thing, the idea of change. Change is perhaps the only constant. And so, just as people 2,000 years ago were trying to figure out how to make sense of all the things that were happening, all the things that worried them, all the things that frustrated them, all the things that tempted them, I think we're in the very same moment now. It's just supercharged by technology and social media and. And how interconnected we all are.

[Interviewer 2]

Yeah, a lot of the, I suppose, threats to what is normal for a lot of people are very new at the moment and different, and we're navigating all of that. So what are some of the, you know, the key tools that people can use and apply to stay calm and centered and focused in a time like this?

[Ryan Holiday]

Yeah. One of the most remarkable things about the Stoics writings is that you. You can look at something like Marcus Aurelius Meditations. This is the private thoughts of the most powerful man in the world. And he's not writing for us, he's writing for him. And so Stoicism was for him, this practice of sitting down and journaling, sort of working out his thoughts on the page instead of dumping them on the people around him. He's trying to just sort of go, well, what do I think here? What do I know that's true here? What's important here? What are. What are my values? Tell me to do? So I want people to see Stoicism as this philosophy that helps us work through rationally our problems that perhaps in a more emotional mood, we might make worse. Right. If Stoicism just prevents us from making the problems we're dealing with worse, it's already going to help us get better in that regard. So. So Stoicism is. Is a sort of series of thought exercises and practical tools that help us deal with whether it's responsibility and power, like Marcus Aurelius is dealing with, or it's a bad boss, like Seneca is dealing with, or it's. It's powerlessness and discrimination, like something that Epictetus is dealing with.

[Interviewer 1]

So, you know, at the moment, I think a lot of people, we talk about online culture and we talk about the manosphere a lot. How do you feel about the fact that they've sort of co opted some of the idealisms and the sort of the thoughts behind stoicism and they've sort of rebranded it? I mean, is it damaging to what you're trying to do?

[Ryan Holiday]

Yeah, we call that brocism. And it's certainly not what the Stoics were talking about. You know, the four Stoic virtues are courage, self discipline, wisdom, and justice. And I think, you know, if you're a young man, courage is exciting and interesting. Self discipline is really important. Wisdom, you know, self improvement, learning, all that's great. But it's inseparable from this idea of justice, which pertains to, you know, what the right thing is, and also our obligations to each other. We live in this thing called society. We are inseparable from other people. And so if you think stoicism is this recipe for being more selfish, for being disconnected, for being a better sociopath, you're getting it wrong. And that's not who the Stoics were in the ancient world. And it's certainly not what I try to talk about in my writings. I would say very clearly, stoicism has made me a better person, a more caring person, a more empathetic person, a better parent, a better spouse, a better citizen. And that's what it was always intended to do.

[Interviewer 2]

They're getting it all wrong. You are coming down in October for a tour. What can people expect from your show? I know a lot of people here who are very excited about it.

[Ryan Holiday]

Well, it's just an excuse for me to come swim in your lovely rock pools there on the ocean. That's. That's my favorite place in the world. And we were actually down in Clovelly last time I was there, and my son caught a code Brown right before we jumped in.

[Podcast Host]

So sorry about it.

[Ryan Holiday]

We're glad. We're glad your investigative report is bringing attention to this essential issue.

[Podcast Host]

You're welcome.

[Interviewer 2]

Well, hopefully no Code Browns on this trip.

[Interviewer 1]

You'll be fine.

[Interviewer 2]

Yeah, right, great.

[Interviewer 1]

When you come down, make sure you come in, pop into the couch, say hi, good to see you, mate.

[Ryan Holiday]

I will. Thank you so much.

Like I said, come see me in Australia. Grab [e-mail] I will also be Minneapolis, Chicago, Detroit, San Francisco, Portland. Before that. You can grab those [e-mail] as well.