← The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Alley Oop 135 | Major Trail Blazers Win, Lakers Dominating, & Cooper Flagg Struggles + The Wild Airline Video Everyone’s Talking About!
00:24:31
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- [00:00]
A
I cannot believe juju you have the gall to wear a. Not just a Celtics jersey, which we know you're a Celtics fan, but to wear a Juice Jalen Brown jersey on the heels of him getting another head smudge onto some other grown man's jersey. You know what? Listen, Jalen Brown is your brother in Christ. And even when. Because I know that's pretty much all your brothers are brothers in Christ. Anybody, Any. Anybody who would rep a man after his lowest low. Actually, I take that back. That's. That's a true ride or die.
- [00:53]
B
There we are.
- [00:54]
A
That's a true ride or die.
- [00:57]
B
As a matter of fact, let me make sure I hang on to this while we say this topic as well, because this did happen. People like to act like this didn't happen just because for some reason this happened. This happening. But at the same time, my brother, is that.
- [01:16]
A
Like that this is happening. This is happening.
- [01:20]
B
This is happening. Tea is happening. But my brother did have another smudge that was heard around the world. Again, Ms. Rebecca, you had it queued up? I took too long, but yeah, man. Against the Washington Wizards last night, my boy done smushed another one, and I think I'm turning the corner on this. Take it away, Ms. Rebecca. Ah, damn. Yes to the holes.
- [01:50]
A
Is that Keyshawn George? Yeah, it is. He got Keyshawn George, by the way. Keyshawn George, you're asking for it because you're wearing a T shirt underneath your jersey. Is that what you were about to say?
- [02:02]
B
Nah, I think. Look, I have turned the corner on this completely. I was feeling sad and. And kind of like, damn, my boy going through this right now. But now I think I like the Smudge Nation, bro. Smudge Nation. Stand up. Look, if you gonna. If you gonna call yourself guarding Jalen Brown, go ahead. You. Hey, you better wear your unsmodgeable jersey. Cause I'm smudging, bro. Like, I'm sorry. I like it. The Smudster. I like it. That. Add that to his. His offensive repertoire. Yes, I can give you a bucket. Yes, I can give you 35 right now. But guess what? You're gonna take home with you smudge on your jersey.
- [02:40]
A
Like, instead of a. Instead of a jersey swap, it's like, well, that's just as good. That's is actually better than a Jalen Brown signature. That's more of a signature. You could probably sell that on ebay for crazy work.
- [02:56]
B
That's where we at now. You see what I'm saying? My boyfriend, families, now we don't. I don't turn the corner on this now. Now, my boy giving out memorabilia. Imagine OG Anunoby jersey with the Jaylen Brown smudge on ebay. Oh, boy. 500,000 easily.
- [03:17]
A
Cuz, you can. You can fake a signature, but you cannot fake the Jaylen Brown smudge because everyone will be on wax. Everyone will have been tea for us to be talking about. So, Juju, you know what? Go ahead and ride for your guy, Jalen Brown Juice. Let him know that no matter what, when he feels like he's at his lowest and we all are just besmirching his hairline, that you have his back.
- [03:49]
B
I got my boy back. Look, also too. This is a story I don't tell too many people, but only like four people know this. Me, Jaylen Brown, my homegirl kk and my girlfriend. I noticed. Remember, think back. It was a cold night in Indianapolis, and the All Star Game was happening that weekend. And my boy, J. Bizzle, he went out and had a dunk contest that wasn't necessarily awesome to the. To the public.
- [04:18]
A
It was not.
- [04:20]
B
After that, though, he was hanging out around the. The arena. And I pulled up on my boy. I said, look, bruh, don't worry about none of this. This don't matter. Folk booing you, but they crazy as hell. They gonna be sad when you win that championship this year and you the finals mvp. That conversation happened right before my boy became the finals mvp. That's why it meant so much to me. I talked to my boy at his lowest day. I say, look, remember this face right here when you. And when you holding that trophy.
- [04:53]
C
And I.
- [04:54]
B
And I know my boy do salute. Moving on. The Lakers, they look the Lakers looking awesome right now. They. They, they. They handled the spurs last night in a. In a good comeback win. You feel me? Down. Austin reeves already down. LeBron James still found a way behind 77, aka Luka Vandross.
- [05:23]
A
That's a good one. Luca Vandross is good one.
- [05:26]
B
Yeah, I gotta give credit to my sister Katie Nolan for that one. That's not my. That's not my word.
- [05:30]
A
She said she wants some Marvin Gay, some Luca Vandross.
- [05:34]
B
Yes, sir, Little Le.
- [05:36]
A
And let this put this already off, right?
- [05:38]
B
Wanna be, wanna be, gonna be, gonna be.
- [05:42]
A
Yo, Luca looks skinny as hell. I'm not gonna lie to you, juju, bro.
- [05:47]
B
And they make you want to do this right here.
- [05:51]
A
His face, his. His face. His cheekbones are popping out. Yep, he has. You were starting to see a little shoulder insertion muscle over there. And he looks like. And get up and down the floor like crazy. So without Austin Reeves, who I thought he was kind of just fading against the. The Blazers didn't want to play on the, on the back to back. And I was like, oh, he just disrespect. No, he actually has a groin injury. So without. You've. You've now played games, multiple games without LeBron, you've played multiple games without Luca Vandross, and you've played multiple games without. What do they call him? Alabama. Alabama. Larry Bird back there. Come on.
- [06:35]
B
Wait a second. Break. You buried the league. I ain't even see big dog back there. Come on, man, we clocking T. Man. Come on, bruh.
- [06:44]
A
That one's for you, Juju.
- [06:46]
B
Yes, sir.
- [06:47]
A
Man, she got multiple games without these. These shot makers, these creators, these bucket getters, BGs. And what is their record? They're 7 and 2 right now.
- [06:59]
B
7 and 2.
- [07:00]
A
You've played a pretty difficult ass schedule. You. You had nobody when you played the Blazers. They. You were nine and a half point underdogs and you smacked them up on the road. I hate even saying all this. I hate the Lakers so much, but they. They really do look good. You got Jackson Hayes over there looking like he's. I don't know, Hakeem. You got him going up for lost.
- [07:29]
B
Okay.
- [07:30]
A
Okay. No, he's not looking like Hakeem. Okay. I'm just kidding. I'm just. I'm just kidding.
- [07:36]
B
Let's bring it back.
- [07:38]
A
But he. But he does look like Derek Lively.
- [07:41]
B
He looked like Haseem Thabeed out there right now.
- [07:43]
A
He's looking like. Yeah, he's looking like the centers. The. That got reinvigorated. The Daniel Gaffords of the world.
- [07:51]
B
There we go. Roy Hibberts.
- [07:53]
A
The Roy Hibberts of the world. He's looking like the guys that Luca has these amazing lob connections with that can run. Run the floor and just dunk. That's all you need to do. Just run the floor. Jump. And Luca got your back. Okay. You don't. You got a lot happening with dominating. He's not dominating, but he's at least playing above his five million dollar contract that you paid him for, right?
- [08:18]
B
Looking good so far.
- [08:19]
A
Listen, you got Jake Laravia, Jake Mashed Potatoes and Gravia.
- [08:25]
B
Okay? I like it. Look, look, we might drop an album after this show.
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C
Yeah.
- [08:32]
B
Nick Smith.
- [08:34]
A
You got Nick Smith looking like Steve Smith. Okay. He was giving us the business juju. I was like, people were like, who is this Smith Jr. I was like, people don't remember that Nick Smith Jr. Was a top three kid coming out of high school when he went to Arkansas, so he's. He's no slouch. Nick Smith. Anyway, all that to say the Lakers do look formidable offensively at least. Their defense is probably not going to be great, but they can come back on anybody from 20 down.
- [09:06]
B
Yeah, bruh, it's looking scary because like you said, that's not even kinda close to their best effort just yet. And breaking news. LeBron James just said that he is. Well, the people just said that LeBron James has been cleared for physical contact, full contact. You did. He's been cleared to come back. Now my boy done seen enough. He like, look, no more 7 and 2 without me right now. Yeah, I done got all my fits off that I wanted to get off for real. My son Jersey, my other son got two points. I think I want. I think I'm ready to come back. He saw that Lucas stepped through two defenders last night. He was like, bruh, I'm coming back tomorrow, no questions asked, but salute to the Lakers, but I think we buried the lead right now. How dare I start this show without giving my sister's team just as much as I'm giving my team right now. The Portland Trailblazers slay the dragon. They are the first to say, the first to say this year and beat the Thunder. Take it away. Ms. Rebecca. Inside position, clinging to Williams.
- [10:18]
D
Here's a shot.
- [10:19]
B
It's up. Come on, man. Look, got the job done with Ti G splatter at the helm, man, gave them folks they first loss.
- [10:35]
A
16 games in a row, my team has lost in the Thunder. That's tough.
- [10:40]
B
Come on, man. And we got the Runway right now, sis. Go ahead, take it away.
- [10:44]
A
We ended up coming home after an embarrassing. Well, not coming home, staying home. We should have gone home on Monday night when this team played against the Lakers. And like I said, Nick Smith looking over here like Steve Smith putting the team on his back with 25 points. Okay, so I'm like, all right, if we can't muster something up against these Lakers without anybody playing right, what is going on? Why are we four and a half point underdogs only to the defending champs that just beat the out of the Clippers? I was like, this is just not going to. I'm going to go to the game, but I don't think it's going to go well for us. And then instantaneously, we're down 20. Instantaneously, okay. And I'm looking over my guy, Justin Verrier from the ringer sitting next to Me, which, shockingly, he lives in Portland now. So we got a couple of net salute. Got a couple of national Mac talkers over here at the media table looking at each other like, you know, this Blazers team might actually not be very good. I said, you know, maybe you shouldn't have spent all that air time talking about us on the ringer, on group chat, shout out to them. Maybe I shouldn't be saying, this Blazers team is for real. And it was a slog. I'm ready to disown shade and sharp. This man doesn't know basketball. He's out there looking like a space cadet. We got, we got then. Then all of a sudden, just something clicked after halftime. We got, we got people. People don't know his. His name, but his name. Dwap. Dwight Marith over here. Pow, pow, pow. Four threes for the big man. Four threes, man.
- [12:26]
B
Come on.
- [12:26]
A
And then you, you look up. It's kind of like the reverse of what you Normally see with OKC where like, they're up 2, and then you go and go to the bathroom, you come back, they're up 20. You like, they're up 20, and all of a sudden we're up one. I was like, whoa, what happened here? And then seven minutes left in the game comes and we're in it. And I'm like, okay, this is kind of go time. Who knows what this is? This is where OKC makes their living, right? By shutting the door. And then the door, then your guy that's been besmirched by the national media because he won a championship, was the key piece of a championship team in the Boston Celtics. All he does is go places and win. He goes to Perry and is a part of a long Olympics run to win gold again. Didn't do a lot on that team, but he still was doing stuff.
- [13:21]
B
Yeah.
- [13:21]
A
And then he's banged up coming into the season, and everybody's like, jrue Holiday is washed and he's making too much money. And what is Portland doing trading for him? And so seven minutes left in the game. Jrue Holiday puts the team in his backpack in his Duffy and says, I am the man this. I am the captain now. Just contested three after contested three, strapping up Shay Gilgeous. Alexander gets into the mid range. Oh, you thought you were with me. You are not easy. Mid range shot. And then all of a sudden, the Blazers are up seven or eight and he's just the steadying force. And I thought to myself, where are those critics now? Where is Zach Lowe now? Where's Bill Simmons now, no shade. But like, seriously, because everybody was like, this didn't make any sense. Why would they want to go get a guy making this much money on this young team? He's a veteran. It just makes absolutely no roster construction sense. And to that I say, did you watch Jrue Holiday turn back the clock last night? Defensive prowess, scoring, ball handling, creation, leadership, steadiness. And beaten the team that had been unbeaten with Slay the Dragon.
- [14:43]
B
Bravo. Bravo. Everybody give my sister a round of applause right now. Like, come on, man, we don't recap stuff like that. That's the biggest recap ever, man. Come on. And she ain't even mentioned the hero in this household. This household right here celebrates this man every single time. Portland is on at a thousand o' clock Eastern standard time. My brother too. Money. Come here, bruh. I don't. I' ma follow that man wherever he go, no matter what. Now salute the draftkings, our partners. You already know what's happening. When I see 2 money Camara, I'm going over no matter what. I don't care because my boy done proved himself to me. But at the same time, he stepped up in that second half, his defense. Come on, man, like, you can't pay for that. Well, I guess you can pay for it for the right price. They paying my boy. But he. His defensive prowess. You put that beside my boy. My cousin, Jeremy Grant. Oh my goodness. Come on, man. Them boys in Portland got something to say this year. Yes. You know, I mean. Yes. Chauncey Billups, he besmerched them right quick like. But you know how good you got to be to beat the smerch of the feds on your ass, the mafia on your La Costa. No SC them. Come on, man.
- [16:05]
A
And then, and also, and also. And also shout out to Danny Abdia because he was 1 for 11, had gone to the free throw line 10 times and ends up one shy of a triple double to end the game. And probably should have gotten the triple double because they didn't give the assist to him on his fifth assist when Drew Holiday hit a shot that was passed from him. So we need a stat correction. DraftKings Anyway, Denny was out there balling. He looked quick, he looked able to sleep.
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C
Flash.
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A
He was hitting tough shots. He was getting into the lane, he was taking contact. And the refs, the refs are in mid season form, Tom Foolery bull issue. Come on now. They were trying to give the thunder that game. I watched every second, every possession and I said they don't want us to win this game.
- [16:57]
B
They don't.
- [16:58]
A
But get what they even that foul, they even called it a landing space foul, like, with two seconds left on the clock. Thank God they didn't say he was behind the line and give him three free throws and send us to overtime where dogs go to die. Juju. I was losing my mind. I was losing my mind, right?
- [17:17]
B
I. The whole hood let off a celebration when they saw my boy Isaiah Joe toe on the line. I was like, okay, yeah, there we are. We back. Salute to the Blazers, man. And Thiago Splitter. Look, they gonna. They gonna make some noise this year. No questions about that, you feel me?
- [17:36]
A
I am just absolutely shooketh. Not just the fact that they are, I think only have one win, but the fact that we've got Jason Kidd out here trying to do the same thing with Cooper Flag that got him fired from the Milwaukee Bucks. Doing it with Giannis Antetokounmpo. Point guards are not built, they are grown. Yeah, man, that boy is. That man is not a point guard.
- [18:13]
B
Got my boy losing for the first time in his life. What they go ahead, miss Rebecca, play the clip, Play the flat post game last night?
- [18:23]
D
Yeah, I think Max said it. Said it fine. I mean, for me, it's the most, you know, blind since, you know, I think ever. So, you know, it's obviously a lot different and you have to adapt to just playing a lot more games and, you know, get used to that. But, you know, I wouldn't say anybody's happy. You know, guys obviously are trying to stay level headed and know that we got a lot more games to go and it's still really early. But, I mean, speaking personally, I know it's not. It's not fun to just keep losing and losing games. So I'd like to make a change and hopefully start, you know, making steps.
- [18:56]
A
How. How you gonna do it? How you gonna do it, Coop? How you gonna do it? You don't have a point guard, sir. You got Indiana Pacers that found their way to get Mac McClung and you guys are still rolling out with this Giannis plan. We're gonna turn Cooper Flag, do what we did with Giannis. Giannis is an absolute egomaniac, monster ball handler now because. Because Jason Kid Besmirch, because Jason Kidd decided he was gonna try to convince Giannis that Giannis should be the fulcrum of the offense and Giannis will never give the ball up ever again to save his life. Do not fall into that trap. Cooper Flag, you're Better than this.
- [19:34]
B
We gotta get to the most important segment that runs the entire alley. You organization. Boy.
- [19:42]
A
Boy, stop.
- [19:44]
B
Ms. Rebecca, what you got for us today?
- [19:52]
C
Take a position on this. What would you both do? What would you both do? And I have a thought in this situation. Standby.
- [20:03]
A
All right, so we got. I see the floor and I see some sandals.
- [20:08]
B
It seems like an airplane.
- [20:10]
A
Is that a McDonald's order in the plane. Oh, oh, he's got his socks on.
- [20:13]
B
Hold up on the airplane.
- [20:16]
A
Oh, no, his sock is wet. His sock. What was.
- [20:21]
C
Oh, okay, so that is. The toilet overflowed.
- [20:25]
A
Oh, no.
- [20:26]
C
Into the aisle where the passengers were sitting. That's what that was.
- [20:33]
A
What am I gonna do?
- [20:35]
C
Yeah.
- [20:35]
A
I am going crisscross applesauce. First of all, socks going off. Okay, well, the sock is already filled with piss, so the socks gotta come off. I'm gonna take a T shirt off or something, wrap it around my foot, Put my shoe back on. Put my. Put my shoe back on. I'm going crisscross applesauce. And I'm not moving until they go grooving and take that. That toilet water off the aisle.
- [21:09]
C
Interesting. What would you do?
- [21:11]
B
Juju. I ain't going to lie to you. I'm going to scream at the top of my lungs for as long as I can and let them know how grossed out and how my plane ticket didn't come with piss on my socks. And I'm going to sue. I don't know if it's what air. I. I'm not going to say a airline because I don't know which airline, but whatever airline that I'm riding on currently is now going to be called juju.
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A
Juju airline.
- [21:38]
B
Exactly. Juju West. Juju Airlines. Like, come on, bro. I'm sitting in my seat and I got PP on my skull.
- [21:48]
A
Delta. Delta Gotti Airlines.
- [21:51]
B
Exactly. We gonna be. We coming up with United Jew. And my sister. My sister's gonna be flying from.
- [21:56]
C
That'll be a different kind of airline.
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B
Exactly.
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A
Salute to them. That's how we get to the peace talks.
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C
That's right. I gotta tell you, I'm not sure if I would complain in this situation because, like, I'm a quasi elderly, ish, whitish woman. They're gonna duct tape my ass to the plane like these guys have. They are very unfriendly. Like, I could just see my ass duct taped to the. Why are you complaining? There's not water anywhere but there. And, you know, and so I land. I, you know, piss all over me. And I ain't Going down as a Karen. I'm not doing it. I'm not being duct taped.
- [22:32]
B
Ms. Rebecca. I love you so much. My boy. Stop right now. Piss all over me. Never.
- [22:39]
A
Never, never, never. Listen, it's not an R. Kelly party. It's a golden shower. We're not doing that.
- [22:46]
B
No. No deal.
- [22:47]
A
You know the thing that these airlines do? The thing these companies do? They. They gaslight you into thinking you should just accept whatever.
- [22:53]
C
Exactly.
- [22:54]
A
You know what I mean? That's how I feel. That was beyond. So what? A man died on your airline right next to you on the aisle window blew out. So. So what? You watched multiple passengers put a needle through this man's chest and try to blow into this pen container and then. And watch him die before your very eyes? Do you spend $275? One way to do so. Are we giving you a credit back? Take this $25 and it's free WI Fi. And be happy with it.
- [23:25]
B
25. No, take this. 300 miles on your.
- [23:30]
A
Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.
- [23:33]
B
You can go nowhere. They give you 30.
- [23:35]
A
They give you $30 back in credits.
- [23:39]
B
Look, man. And that concludes another episode of the Alley. Oh, man. Thank you so much, as always to my sister. Look how the sun hit my sister skin right now. Look how it's hitting her hair.
- [23:52]
A
That's what happens when you slay the dragon. That's what happens when you beat the champs. You just get an aura around you until you lose.
- [23:59]
B
You did. Also much and big thanks as always, to my brother Dylan, the distinguished Dylan, as well as my sister, the rowdy Rebecca Donahue. Check her out. Coming to a city near you, you dig it? Thank y' all for locking in with us. Catch us this Friday on the dls, whatever they call channel.