Alley Oop 161: KD’s Burner Phone EXPOSED? LaMelo Crash, Hornets Shock the League & Cavs vs Knicks East Battle

Summary

The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz

Episode: Alley Oop 161: KD’s Burner Phone EXPOSED? LaMelo Crash, Hornets Shock the League & Cavs vs Knicks East Battle

Date: February 20, 2026

Hosts: Juju Gotti & Trista Craig
Location: Elser Hotel, Downtown Miami

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Episode Overview

This episode of the "Alley Oop" segment takes on the NBA’s return after the All-Star break, jumping into hot topics with signature humor and candor. The duo tackles Kevin Durant's alleged burner phone scandal, LaMelo Ball’s car crash and eccentric habits, bold playoff predictions (including Charlotte’s rise and Orlando’s fall), the Cavs-Knicks rivalry, and the latest “Boy, Stop” moments in sports—including Mick Cronin’s press conference meltdown and the Darren Peterson controversy. A Mardi Gras side story brings comic relief before the hosts wrap up with their trademark playful roasts.

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Main Topics & Breakdowns

1. Kevin Durant’s Burner Phone Scandal (“Burner Gate”)

(00:47–06:38)

• What Happened: KD is once again buried in controversy with the leak of alleged burner phone DMs and tweets, now organized in a searchable app.
• Trista’s Reaction: Shock at the existence of “an app for the files”—“You can clip by the name. You can click by the DM type, the tweet type.” (01:41)
• Juju and Trista debate if social consequences are adequate for reckless DMs:

  "If it's true…everyone he was talking about [should] get one or two hits off on him if they want." –Trista (02:14)

• Both criticize KD for not saying things from his real account:

  "It's lame to do that. Do it from your account, bro. What's wrong with that?" –Juju (05:41)

• Lighthearted jabs at KD’s alleged use of weird slurs (e.g., “triple double cocaine bear” for Westbrook) (06:23 - 06:38)

2. LaMelo Ball’s Car Crash & Reputation

(07:03–09:15)

• What Happened: LaMelo crashed a cyber truck (possibly with desert storm camo) in Charlotte and, according to reports, jumped into a Ferrari post-crash.
• Reactions:
  • Juju and Trista discuss whether it’s another instance of his famously reckless style or just an unfortunate accident.
  • Trista sums up:

    "It's just so LaMelo, all of it…He does a lot of things recklessly on the basketball court. …Come on, bro. Gotta get right somehow." (07:40)

  • Juju references LaMelo’s Hot Cheetos tattoo on his toes as his defining “reckless” act.

3. NBA Playoff Predictions & Season Outlook

(09:17–12:36)

• Charlotte Hornets:
  • Juju’s bold prediction—Charlotte will make the playoffs this year, riding momentum and bench depth:

    "Charlotte Horn is going to make the offs this year…they put together that win streak…They not looking like a team that's regressing." (09:52)

• Orlando Magic:
  • Trista counters with Orlando missing playoffs due to Franz Wagner's injury, predicting internal upheaval:

    "Orlando will not make the playoffs…We will have a coaching controversy…and maybe some people getting traded." (10:21)

• East Contenders:
  • Juju sees Cavs vs. Knicks in the Eastern Conference Finals:

    "I can see them versus the Knicks in the Eastern Conference finals. Lock it in." (11:39)

• West Contenders:
  • Trista picks the Timberwolves to make the Western Conference Finals again, lauding their defense and leadership:

    "Minnesota Timberwolves make the Western Conference finals again…this team is playing some of the best defense down the stretch." (11:57–12:36)

4. "Boy, Stop": Mick Cronin's Press Conference Meltdown

(13:00–16:46)

• Mick Cronin (UCLA) berates a reporter, questioning if his voice was raised, and insults the quality of the question.
  • Cronin: > "I would like to give you a kudos for the worst question I've ever been asked." (13:26)
  • Juju & Trista roast his demeanor and speculate on Cronin's job security:

    "He's getting fired. He's a nice man…but he is cooked." – Trista (14:44)

  • Juju offers alternative snappy replies for the reporter, pokes fun at Cronin’s look:

    "Let that man talk to you with the ball head, ass. Boy, you looking like a soccer ball…" (16:04)

5. Darren Peterson’s “First Half Only” College Basketball Saga

(16:49–19:52)

• Peterson, a projected #1 pick, begins sitting out entire second halves.
  • Trista:

    "It's affecting his draft stock, Juju. I don't know what's happening…It's not a good look, bro." (17:28)

  • Juju:

    "No matter what, if you hurt, be hurt, sit over there…but…they expect you to be out there with them, and you basically kind of quitting on them every game." (18:05)

• The duo theorizes he’s avoiding the Kings (the worst team with the likely #1 pick):
  • Trista:

    "What if Darren Peterson doesn't want to play for the Sacramento Kings?" (18:45)

  • Juju:

    "Maybe my boy looking ahead in the future. If this was the TV show Blues Clues, there would be a paw print on the Sacramento Kings…" (19:18)

6. Mardi Gras Madness – “Boy, Stop” Segment

(19:53–23:37)

• Comic scene breakdown of a “dad” caught in an awkward Mardi Gras dance with a leggy woman, possibly threatening his marriage—all described with playful, roast-heavy banter:
  • Trista:

    "It's the most unsexy leg throw I've ever seen in my entire life. It's like McCarthy in Bridesmaids…" (21:27)

  • The hosts debate who looks more out of place, roast everyone’s outfits, and bring up pop culture references.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On KD’s burner usage:

  "I'm not f to log in the Gary McCockener. You feel me? My poop pants of the NBA." – Juju (05:41)

• On LaMelo's style:

  "He got a hot cheetos tattoo on his toes and he got flames on his toes tattooed bruh…I'm good. I get it. You got it, little bro." – Juju (08:31)

• On Cavs-Knicks prediction:

  "Put the lock together…and then put the padlock on it…Leave the combination where it is." – Juju (11:42)

• On Mick Cronin’s attitude:

  "Come on, dude.…He side eyed this whole conversation like a disappointed, scolding auntie mom." – Juju (14:01)

• On Mardi Gras mishap:

  "That right there might do it for my boy's marriage and another episode of the Alley oop." – Juju (23:16)

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Noteworthy Timestamps

• KD's burner scandal: 00:47 – 06:38
• LaMelo Ball’s car crash/reputation: 07:03 – 09:15
• Charlotte/Orlando playoff predictions: 09:17 – 10:51
• Cavs-Knicks & Timberwolves picks: 10:52 – 12:36
• Mick Cronin press conference: 13:00 – 16:46
• Darren Peterson drama: 16:49 – 19:52
• Mardi Gras segment: 19:53 – 23:37

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Tone & Style

Juju and Trista’s exchanges ooze laid-back, witty camaraderie, with generous doses of pop-cultural roasting and irreverent sports talk. They navigate gossip, on-court drama, and offbeat news with humor bordering on stand-up.

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Summary

Alley Oop 161 delivers everything regulars expect: fresh NBA takes, comedic breakdowns of player antics, and pop-culture-laced sarcasm. From KD’s alleged DMs and LaMelo’s wildness to unfiltered playoff predictions and “Boy, Stop” viral moments, the episode is equal parts analysis and entertainment for basketball fans and anyone who enjoys sharp, unfiltered sports banter.

Transcript

[A]

Hey, Juju. Are you. Are you. Excuse me, did you just raise your voice in me?

[B]

Oh, I'm so sorry.

[A]

Everybody heard it. Everybody. Hey, Rebecca. Ms. Rebecca. You guys were standing there. Ms. Rebecca. Dylan, you heard it. You heard him raise his voice at me.

[B]

Welcome back to the alley oop. I am Juju Gotti Juju joined by Trista Craig. How you doing, my sister?

[A]

She is I and he is him. Slim with a tilted brim. My co host is a model. We won't even go into that, but he was on the Nike commercial. Pimped out, swagged out, doing his damn thing. I'm so proud of you, Juju. Do your damn thing.

[B]

Come on, man. I'm always proud of my sister a thousand times. My sister got everything in the world going on at the same time, man. And she able to do it while still keeping keeping it classy. Moving on, man. We got the NBA is back finally. Finally. After a kind of if you squint, successful all star weekend. If you squint. If you open your eyes, you see the dunk contest and you realize, what the hell was that? Cancel it. Cancel the skills. I don't know what the hell. The Knicks won, but cancel it. We got hoops back now, though, so we gonna start with the. The juiciest topic that we kind of haven't touched on, man. Kevin Durant and Burner Gate Part two, part seven. Did you see it, sis? What are your thoughts, sis?

[A]

Did I see it? I saw it. There's. Now there's like an app for the files. You can clip by the name. You can click by the DM type, the tweet type. All I'll say that is this. And I don't know how you want to set it up, but I'm like, my mind is always end result, Right? Like, that's just where my mind goes. I don't even know why it's that way.

[B]

Because it's smart. That's what smart people do.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

If. If it's true.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Then they either need to allow everyone he was talking about to get one or two hits off on him if they want.

[B]

Come on.

[A]

Or if they want, like, even just one. Like, if you call Jabari the R word, Jabari's got to be able to give you a backhand if he wants.

[B]

Like, if you want Jabari get a free besmirch of you publicly, like, one day randomly. I don't know when I'm gonna use it.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I'm gonna use the R word.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Using the R word. Or no kind of slurs.

[A]

Nothing but no slur.

[B]

And when I feel like it, I'm gonna be like, you know what? We lost the game because of Kevin Durant tonight.

[A]

He slurred him.

[B]

He slurred him.

[A]

He slurred him. That's. You can't. You almost can't come back from a slur. And so, like, if. Depending on how Houston is. Yeah, we might, for the young core, have to just. No.

[B]

But hell no, bro. What does that mean? What does this mean? I know it don't mean.

[A]

I think it means of the greatest scorer in the generation who's 37 years old.

[B]

See, that's where you play. See, that's why. That's why I interject, bro, this is, at the end of the day, what Jay Hart said two weeks ago, man.

[A]

It's a business.

[B]

Exactly. This is a business, man. You can look at my phone and look at your Instagram, what's going on there, if you want to. Or you can look at who paying us millions of dollars to go out here and win the championship, man. See, if you're gonna care about that, you may well care about everything else.

[A]

All right? If they get eliminated in the first round because they ain't got no offense and they're paying Kevin Durant a bajillion dollars, what's up?

[B]

You know what? I tell you what's up. It's if we rewind two episodes ago with you went on a rant about exactly what's wrong with the Houston Rockets as far as softness in the God paint. You feel me? When El Perine Shangoon.

[A]

What you need to do is play the damn game instead of worrying about me and letting your misogyny come through because you're too soft.

[B]

So Kevin Durant can only do but so much you Shangoon gotta step up. Got. Cause he did enough last year to kind of keep them afloat while they had certain injuries and the little Thompson twin, they got enough. All they gotta do is do what they do and KD gonna do what he do. But if you start worrying about what on tween. If you start worrying about anything else, and you not man enough to walk up on me and have a conversation with me, bro. I don't want to hear about none of that, man. Tell your girlfriend about it.

[A]

I don't mean to go backwards real quick, but, yeah, me as the Besmircher. Trying to cancel a Besmircher is kind of foul.

[B]

Crime is crazy, especially doing Black History Month, probably.

[A]

The slur is not even real, you know like he's just. In private conversations. We all say things a little more extra than we mean them. You know what I mean?

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

And he was just trying to get it. Just trying to get a takeoff. He's letting his frustrations out. He doesn't. Him calling. If it is him allegedly calling. What did he call? Russell Westbrook, a double.

[B]

It was like something specific. I'm not gonna. I know exactly what he was called, but I'm making sure you gonna have to bring that up. Basically I remember all the names.

[A]

Triple double demon.

[B]

What was it that was besmirches. All I know is if it is kd. Look man, we caught you. It's lame to be besm. Like do that. Do it from your account, bro. What's wrong with that? What's wrong with saying everything from your account? If that's how you feel? That's how I feel. I'm gonna say how I feel from my account. I'm not f to log in the Gary McCockener. You feel me? My poop pants of the NBA. Did you find what you're looking for or can we move on? I tried to fill in the whole time. He would just keep looking.

[A]

I couldn't find it.

[B]

I don't have no more words.

[A]

Triple double cocaine bear.

[B]

You don't forgot what you were looking for. She don't start looking at me. Triple moving on.

[A]

Triple double cocaine bear.

[B]

That's what. Exactly what it was right there. Yeah, that's a nasty like slur. Like.

[A]

I don't even know what it means. But it like does sound bad, right? Like.

[B]

Right. No, it don't fit. No Bill you gotta be saying, right?

[A]

Listen, back in the day, Russ really was stealing rebounds from his teammates.

[B]

Mr. Brody, man, you better get the rebound before I get it. Yeah, if you. Yeah, if you Serge a baka, you put your scarf moving on.

[A]

All right.

[B]

Hello. Got in a accident. I'm sorry for laughing when I say that. He got in an accident in the middle of Charlotte the other day. Crashed into another vehicle. Reports say that he hopped into a Ferrari before the scene was even concluded. I don't know of any truth to any of that. How you feel about this crash, man? Like, is it. Is it concerned to be because he. He been having a little. He drives recklessly. He. We have tape of him driving recklessly at times. Do you think this is one of those times or this is just. Just one of the random light dang car accident unfortunates.

[A]

It's just so lamello all of it. I think he was In a cyber truck that was the color of desert storm camo.

[B]

DJ Clue.

[A]

DJ Clue. I mean, Desert storm has camel. Hasn't been needed since the 90s, right? It's just the whole thing just reeks of Lamelo. Like, I don't know how to describe it. He said he drives recklessly. He does a lot of things recklessly on the basketball court. We don't mind Lamelo's athleticism or his shooting stroke or his ability to have court vision, but juju, like, the. The things that he does, you just are like, come on, bruh. Come on, bro. Gotta get right somehow some way, bro.

[B]

When you said that when he do reckless stuff, it made me remember the most reckless thing I ever seen from Lamelo ball. And yes, he drives recklessly sometimes, and I understand that, but that's not it, bro. My dog did you. I don't know if this is real or not. See what I'm saying? Internet be playing games, but it looked like my dog got a hot cheetos tattoo on his toes and he got flames on his toes tattooed bruh. And it say hot Cheetos bruh. Ever since then, Bruh. I'm good. I get it. You got it, little bro.

[A]

He's a goofball. Okay?

[B]

Like, hey, man, get your money, man.

[A]

I swear around the photo, literally.

[B]

Whoa. Swerve around them corners. Lamelo moving on. We got the rest of the season now right in front of us, man. The. The landscape is out there. It's a plateau with a little mountain in the middle. But you can see it, though. What is some predictions or what are some predictions you have for the remainder of the season? I'll kick it off. My prediction is that we gonna stay in Charlotte. I think my boy gonna swerve and bend the corner into the playoffs this year. Breaking news. Charlotte Horn is going to make the offs this year. You got to know that because, bro, they put together that win screen. Was it nine in a row? And they not looking like a team that's regressing. They got. They got spare point guards on the bed. They got Kobe white for no reason at all. They literally have my boy there for doing there, right? So count them boys in the playoffs. What you think? What's the prediction for you on the

[A]

flip side of that? Somebody's got to be a loser. If the Charlotte Hornets are a winner and 100% agree with you. Franz Vogner out for the rest of the season. Juju. Orlando will not make the playoffs after a lot of excitement and we'll. We Will have a coaching. If we will have a coaching controversy and a hot seat and maybe some people getting traded. Significant off season moves for the Orlando Magic, who continuously have one of the grossest offenses in the league.

[B]

Right, bruh? It's sad, but that sounds spot on, man. One more prediction for me, man. I'mma stay in the east because the west, the wild, wild west is unpredictable over there. You never know what the joker gonna pop up and do in the east though, bro. I'm pretty interested to see what these Cleveland Cavaliers gonna do. And I got a little faith in. We already know. I'm a Celtics fan. We gonna clock that every time it's it come up. You did Championship City. You. It's never far away. But at the same time, what Cleveland got right now, dog, I can see them versus the Knicks in the Eastern Conference finals. Lock it in. Almost. Unless myself. I love myself.

[D]

Right?

[B]

Lock. Lock that in for sure.

[A]

Is it not locked in?

[B]

I'm talking about you. Look, put the lock together. Like put the chain lock together and then put the padlock on it. Click it together, but leave the combination where it is. Don't do the combination.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

All right. I'm gonna go Western Conference and the Minnesota Timberwolves make the Western Conference finals again.

[B]

Oh, oh, oh, and by the way, we've got.

[A]

Still got the Mike Conley leadership there. We've got Julius Randle putting his body on him. We've got Rudy Gobert and Nas Reed. We still have all of the tool and Anthony Edwards. Edwards in the rest of the season will like really, really solidify that this team is playing some of the best defense down the stretch.

[B]

I like that. I like that, bruh. I like that a lot. I've been on the west coast the last two weeks, so I like that. You feel me. I don't know if I got a crump on me. You feel me? But I like that though. You did. Let's move on to a segment we like to call. Boy, stop. Mitt Cronin. Did you see Mick Cronin? Trista.

[A]

Hey, Juju. Are you. Are you. Excuse me, did you just raise your voice in me?

[B]

Oh, I'm so sorry.

[A]

Everybody heard it. Everybody. Hey, Rebecca. Ms. Rebecca. You guys were standing there. Ms. Rebecca. Dylan. You heard it. You heard him raise his voice in me. Everybody heard it. Roll the tape.

[B]

Go ahead, roll it. Ms. Rebecca, what was your thoughts in

[D]

the student section chanting Booker's name? I could give a rat's ass about the other team. Student section.

[B]

That's about the over all the way that you.

[D]

I would like to give you a kudos for the worst question I've ever been asked. All right. Did you like you should take it.

[C]

The preparation of the.

[D]

You really think I care about the other?

[B]

No, I don't. I don't think you care about the other.

[D]

Are you raising your voice at me?

[C]

No, I'm.

[D]

Yeah, you are. Yeah, you are.

[B]

Come on, dude.

[C]

No reason.

[D]

Come on. Yes, you were. Everybody's standing here listening to you. Everybody. This is on camera. They can hear you. Oh, I answered the question. I could give a rat's ass about the other team student section. I coach ucla. I don't care about Michigan State students. Who cares?

[B]

The preparation, bro. Stop, bruh. The. The thing about this video to the listening audience. My boy did not turn his shoulders to even look at this man once. He side eyed this whole conversation like a disappointed scolding auntie mom like, boy, I ain't even going to turn and look at you. But you're dumb. I want you to know that part. And did you just yell at me? Raise your voice, Trisha, what you think about the conversation, man?

[A]

There's. There's so many ways you could take this juju. I think he's cooked. Mick Cronin ejected his own player in this game.

[C]

Juju.

[A]

He literally got him up out of there. His own students, his own athlete. He got him up. I've never seen that before. He's out of there. He's getting fired. He's a nice man. He's been crashing out at press conferences and post games since he was at University of Cincinnati. The man is a short fuse and UCLA is buns and he is cooked. Now, I love the content, but if I was up in there. Oh, oh, baby, you don't want to hear me raise my voice. I'm just trying to get over all the scrum. Oh, baby, if you want to see my voice at you, we can do that, right?

[B]

I feel like my boy wish he had this back. I feel like my boy wish he had this back. The reporter. Because there was ways you could have took this right out of my boy hands. Mick Cronin, when he asked me when he first say you congratulations on the worst question ever. I would have been like, appreciate you bit, bruh. You really think I give a damn about the Michigan State fans? Yes, sir, I do. Next. You've been interviewing me now. Let's go. You raised your voice. Sorry, my bad. You feel me? Take the power away from Mick Cronin.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Let that man talk to you with the ball head, ass. Boy, you're looking like a soccer ball. Boy, you looking like a golf ball. Are you looking like a baseball?

[A]

Also, is your bottom lip quivering right now? Everybody sees it. Everybody is on camera. Is your bottom lip quivering right now?

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

Crashing out your own player.

[B]

Fake ass. Bruce Willis. Get the hell up out of my face, man. Lethal Weapon, too. Looking ass. But leader. Reporters alone, you ain't got to bully nobody because y' all lost by umpteen points mid crowning. Boy, stop. Let's move on.

[C]

I literally felt bad for that reporter. I was like, what if he's like, change jobs? Like, quit the business.

[A]

They be abusing us.

[B]

Exactly. Next we got Darren Peterson, college phenom Darren Peterson, projected number one overall pit right first half. P is what they calling him right now. What do you think about my boy playing first half, getting dubs in the first half, but then saying, you know what, Coach, I can't go no more. It's been. It's been a couple times now. We can't ignore this, especially with how the world now we relying on these sports books and you feel me? Like, come on, dp, what were we doing?

[A]

And Bill Self, head coach of Kansas, said, listen, we didn't expect this. We didn't anticipate him taking himself out of the game. It's like, I don't know what's worse, what Mitt Cronin did, literally ejecting his own player or what Darren Peterson did, subbing him his own self out and being like, I'm done for the rest of the game. Bill Self said, he's done this now multiple times, and I do not know what's going on. It's affecting his draft stock juju. I don't know what is happening. I'm not sure if it's an injury. I'm not sure if it's selling. I don't know. But I'm going to tell you this right now. It's not a good look, bro.

[B]

Hell nah. Like, I'm. I'm under the assumption that he just getting some bad advice from somebody to try to keep his minutes at a certain time during college or whatever, bro. But this ain't it. No matter what, if you hurt, be hurt, sit over there. But you got, what, how many? About 10, 12 more guys looking at you on the. On that bench for leadership. You feel me? You one of them ones. So when you out there, they. They expect you to be out there with them, and you basically kind of quitting on them every game in your most dog years. Like college years is your most dog. I'll be damn. You take me out this game, Coach. Let alone I'm taking myself out of clutch games too. Like these big games he's taking himself out of.

[A]

So what if Gigi. What if Darren Peterson doesn't want to go number one?

[B]

He clearly don't.

[A]

What if he doesn't want to play for the Sacramento Kings? Because that's where he's getting mocked. This is one of the most stacked draft classes in our generation. There's probably five, six legitimate franchise altering players. Darren Peterson's supposed to go number one. AJ DeBance, a two cam boozer three. And what if he says, you know what? I'd rather go to a place like the Atlanta Hawks than I would the Sacramento Kings.

[B]

We, we. We definitely can't forget about Acuff after 49 points last year. Come on now. But at the same time, I do agree with what you say. Maybe my boy looking ahead in the future. If this was the TV show Blues Clues, there would be a paw print on the Sacramento Kings with that first pick. I don't know. But Ms. Rebecca, let's move on. You're a funny DP boy. Stop, man. Let's go. Ms. Rebecca.

[A]

He said that's enough.

[B]

All right, I'm good. I'm cooking. All right, moving on. Man. One of the most magical times of the year. Mardi Gras, man. Them folks down there getting loose. Look at dad, man. Dad. Oh, yeah. I mean, you got mom on your back. Oh, oh, hold on now.

[A]

What just happened? Hey, look, don't put your leg on. My man's. Don't put your leg on.

[B]

Exactly. Sis got a little too comfortable with that little leg twirl. Whatever the hell you about to have playing with that leg, cut it out now. Cancel it.

[A]

She said jump on it. Right, right.

[B]

Look at that. He like, oh, they don't get away with everything.

[A]

Oh, yeah, okay. He even went down. She was like, you better.

[B]

Oh, girl, I will. What the hell is wrong with you out here, bruh? I will knock that cowboy hat back to Texas where you came from.

[A]

That is.

[B]

Hey, to my. This is the fourth ward. Did you see. Did you see Tyler shuck and throwing them down bees off the.

[A]

No, I did not.

[B]

Bro, they getting loose on Mardi gras. They throwing TVs off of the Mardi Gras thing instead of bees. Now, Mardi Gras, I adore you, but at the same time, dad, putting this little lady in harm's way when you know your wife don't play the radio boy, stop.

[A]

Boy, stop. That's crazy.

[B]

Stop.

[C]

But also, it's the most unsexy leg throw I've ever seen in my entire life. It's like McCarthy in Bridesmaids, right?

[A]

She just needed a stretch.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

It's like.

[C]

I'm like, do you have a hip problem or are you trying to be. And then this guy. You know, two women have never fought over this guy in his life. Like, this is the best day of his life.

[B]

I don't do my boy like that. He always got him fighting off him. He gotta fight him off.

[C]

Come on. Look at the pajamas he's wearing. Come on.

[A]

Isn't straw hat giving lesbian, like, I feel like she's straw hat.

[C]

The other one. What was the last lesbian you see? I mean, look at these purple.

[A]

Look at these dad genes.

[C]

I'm like, that's your lesbian sister. There is no. And then who's that over here that just came, right?

[B]

That's why she ain't know what was coming. She was like, oh, yeah, I know these lesbians don't give a damn about this. Come here, big fella. You got a rude awakening. But you're right, Ms. Rebecca. She put some. Some WD40 on. She didn't put some WD40 on them hill

[A]

stomach. Looking like Muffet McGraw.

[B]

Don't do Pat like that. Don't do Pat like that. Don't do Pat like that, bro.

[C]

Too much. Too much.

[B]

Oh, my God. Hey, what she say, bro? Say she look like Pat Summit.

[C]

I mean, he look like. He's like. He's like Ronald McDonald. What was the burglar, The. The hamburger. His outfit is just like. Nobody should be fighting over this, man.

[B]

That's what that is. You got hate in your blood right now, Ms. Rebecca, and I don't like it. Let my boy get busy. That right there might do it for my boy's marriage. And another episode of the Alley oop. Man. Tristan, any last words on the way out of here, man?

[A]

Man, I don't know what to say. I feel bad for Pat Simon. I feel bad for Muffet McGraw. I'm sorry. That haircut just coming out of the College Basketball hall of Fame. Shout out to Jan Jansen as well. At least you didn't get it straight.

[B]

You bring Jan into this? Jan was just watching the show, like, oh,

[C]

see?

[B]

And now you can,

[C]

bruh.

[B]

Rest in peace, Pat Summit, man.

[A]

One of the legends. Listenable for the besmirching. Oh, yeah. I want to say this. Don't hold me accountable for the besmirching it's all in service to laugh.

[B]

You want to say that?

[A]

Yeah. Don't hold me accountable. Don't hold me accountable.

[B]

I'm glad you remembered that you wanted to say that. Right there. Thank you, everybody who listening and watching. Man, without y', all, who the hell are we? Catch us next Tuesday. Same bad time, same bad channel.

[A]

I know who the hell we are. I'm just some girl ready to get her ass whipped for besmirching. That's who we are. Without y', all, I don't have no protection. Without juju, I'm just on the floor getting my ass whooped. So see y' all next time. Hey. Www.alleyoopshow.com.