The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz

Episode: #BecauseMiami: The Crosswalks Are Making Us Gay

Date: September 5, 2025
Location: The Elser Hotel in Downtown Miami
Guests: Katie Fang (Independent journalist and trial lawyer), Anna Eskamani (Florida State Rep, Orlando mayoral candidate), Brittany Brave (Comedian/Filmmaker)

Overview

In this episode of #BecauseMiami, Dan Le Batard, Stugotz, and the crew deep-dive into Florida’s latest mix of political scandal, culture wars, and local absurdities. Broadcasting from Miami, they dissect the closure of the state’s controversial immigration detention camp (dubbed “Alligator Alcatraz”), expose corruption behind government contracts, scrutinize the political erasure of rainbow crosswalks, and discuss new public health and social justice setbacks. With a blend of sharp wit, Miami-centric references, and candid interviews, the episode embodies a satirical and exasperated tone toward the current state of affairs in Florida.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. The “Golden Age of Grift” and Alligator Alcatraz

[03:55–16:00]

• Massive Waste and Corruption:

  • Billy sets up the conversation: “The enduring message here of this era... this golden age of grift... through all of the quackery, the death of expertise and professionalism... is it is just a heist movie. They don’t believe in anything. They are just Hans Gruber.” [03:55]
  • Alligator Alcatraz (the state’s now-defunct immigrant detention center in Big Cypress) cost Florida taxpayers upwards of $240 million in just two months, with little to show for it beyond enriching well-connected vendors.

• Corrupt Contracting Exposed:

  • Katie Fang details how companies with ties to Gov. DeSantis’s donors received contracts, some formed mere weeks before the facility opened.
    • “Businesses that were giving money to the DeSantis campaign, to James Utmire, the current Florida Attorney General. Those companies... were able to make money off of all of us as Florida taxpayers.” [07:30]
    • Lack of Request for Proposals (RFPs), no competitive bidding, and contracts vanishing from state websites were routine. “Vote buying, pay to play, scratch my back—an orgy going on with everybody helping everybody out. It all costs money to enter the game.” [13:47]

• Critical Analysis of Political Leadership:

  • Stinging critiques for Governor DeSantis and the Florida GOP, comparing their privatization/subsidization/brutalization cycle to Die Hard villains.
  • Katie Fang calls out the lack of oversight, describing the entire operation as “profits over people. It’s always profits over people.” [06:38]

• Miami-Dade County’s Complicity:

  • Mayor Daniella Levine Cava’s “celebration” of the camp’s closure is called out as hypocrisy, as she legally opposed the activist lawsuits that led to the shutdown.
    • “The mayor could have... instituted litigation before anybody else did. Because the county owns that land.” [17:00]
    • Billy: “Danielle Levine Cava mayor of Miami Dade was on the wrong side of this case. She’s on the wrong side of history.” [20:20]
    • Brittany Brave jokes: “The nerve to call it... a courageous decision! She flip flops more than a chunkletta.” [20:49]

2. Erasing Rainbow Crosswalks — "The Crosswalks Are Making Us Gay"

[24:06–33:53]

• Political Erasure of LGBTQ+ Visibility:

  • Florida DOT removed rainbow-painted crosswalks in several cities, including one outside the Pulse nightclub memorializing victims of the 2016 mass shooting.
  • Anna Eskamani: “It wasn't just erased. It was erased in the middle of the night with no warning... The night they did it, the next morning, was when we were all expecting the court decision to come out about the so-called Alligator Alcatraz.” [27:07]

• Mocking and Exposing the Absurdity:

  • Hosts joke with exasperation about the rationale for removal—“The crosswalks are making us gay” [25:17], “I think you’re trans... it’s gay walking, not jaywalking” [25:40], “If men start developing a lisp, it’s because the crosswalks made them gay!” [42:51]
  • Anna: “We are basically a bunch of gays and girls holding chalk and clack fans. Like, we are not dangerous. And yet they have this army of folks waiting for us. I mean, it’s just so silly.” [28:57]
  • Brittany: “We continue to target a movement, the LGBTQ movement, that is literally based on love and acceptance and equality.” [29:09]

• Public Safety Data vs. Political Stunt:

  • Anna highlights a 2022 Bloomberg study showing decorative crosswalks reduce pedestrian accidents by 50%. [31:38]
  • Billy, sarcastically: “Crosswalks, not only safer, but increasing homosexual makeout sessions by 120%!” [32:23]

• Contrasts in Police Response:

  • Anna: “There was not ever this much police when it was a gay club... It’s just such a sad contrast... all the resources to protect a crosswalk from being chalked compared to no resources to protect LGBTQ people.” [33:12]

3. Suppression of Minority Public Art/Murals

[33:59–37:10]

• Broader Effort to Erase Expression:
  • Two pastors arrested for praying on a Black Lives Matter street mural in St. Petersburg as FDOT crews prepare to erase it.
  • Brittany jokes about their mugshots, “the one on the right looks like the one on the left after an episode of Queer Eye.” [34:45]
  • Anna: “Their intention is to erase communities and topics they don’t like. Because of the First Amendment, they have to remove all the decorative artwork... It’s a slap in the face to what FDOT used to celebrate.” [36:43]
  • The hosts note the erasure includes not just LGBTQ+ art, but murals celebrating Black history, women, and other underrepresented groups.

4. End of Vaccine Mandates — Public Health Implications

[37:10–38:37]

• Florida’s Ban on Vaccine Mandates:
  • Anna Eskamani: “I think it’s important to note not only how extreme this is, but how people with money and insurance will be able to get their children vaccinated, and those who don’t... will be most at risk.” [37:29]
  • Billy: “Because of no mandate, insurance companies don’t have to provide it. So this affects parents who can’t afford it—the free state of Florida.” [37:50]
  • Brittany, satirically: “Now that vaccines aren’t mandated, we’re going to have a lot less gay people, because that’s what was making people gay from what I heard.”
  • Dan: “No, the crosswalks are making us gay.”

5. Miami Comedy Documentary — 'Muchacha'

[43:41–48:08]

• Brittany Brave’s Filmmaking Journey:
  • Brittany pitches her Indiegogo campaign for “Muchacha,” a documentary about Miami’s unique, chaotic comedy scene.
  • “I wanted to capture what was happening in Miami comedy... over the last two and a half years we’ve been shooting and I have been banging my head in the wall, but we are finally in post production.” [43:45]
  • Describes Miami’s comedy scene as vibrant but volatile, often requiring comedians to leave to gain recognition.
  • Billy supports the project: “It is not a surprise to hear three years later you still, you know, pound pavement and working on it in post and in financing. Very, very common.” [44:23]
• Support:
  • Listeners encouraged to donate on Indiegogo (“muchacha” or “Brittney Brave”).

6. Miami Moment: Teaser for ‘Gideon’ Documentary

[48:08–51:25]

• Billy debuts the trailer for a new documentary about a Miami-based ex-Green Beret’s failed plot to invade Venezuela, planning it from a WeWork in Brickell.
• “This is a bat shit tale of Florida about a U.S. green beret war hero who helped plot Operation Gideon, which was dubbed Bay of Piglets by the press.” [48:08]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Corruption:

  • Billy: “It’s just Die Hard. All this horrible shit... is a distraction from the robbery that’s taking place.” [04:50]

• On Crosswalks:

  • Billy: “The crosswalks are making us gay. I don’t know, I’m having strange urges just having crossed the street.” [25:16]
  • Anna Eskamani: “The data speaks for itself, that decorative crosswalks increase public safety... but this was only about politics. And it is about an eraser.” [30:03]
  • Brittany: “Can we all agree, I can’t wait for the day that this man [DeSantis] inevitably comes out of the closet?” [31:13]

• On Miami-Dade’s Mayor:

  • Katie Fang: “The mayor could have... instituted litigation before anybody else did. Because the county owns that land.” [17:00]
  • Billy: “Danielle Levine Cava... was on the wrong side of this case. She’s on the wrong side of history.” [20:20]

• Absurdity, Florida-Style:

  • “It’s gay walking, not jaywalking.” [25:44]
  • “If men start developing a lisp, it’s because the crosswalks made them gay and they’ve been exercising their right for fellatio.” [42:51]

Timestamps of Important Segments

• Alligator Alcatraz/Grift exposé — 03:55 to 16:00
• Miami-Dade Mayor and lawsuit hypocrisy — 16:16 to 21:05
• Crosswalks/Rainbow removal and LGBTQ+ erasure — 24:06 to 33:53
• Black Lives Matter mural, public art suppression — 33:59 to 37:10
• Florida vaccine mandate repeal — 37:10 to 38:37
• Muchacha comedy doc discussion — 43:41 to 48:08
• Gideon doc trailer, “Miami Moment” — 48:08 to 51:25

Tone & Style

The episode features trademark Miami irreverence, rapid-fire jokes, and seamless movement between serious critique and biting satire. The hosts and guests aren’t shy about calling out corruption, hypocrisy, and the performative cruelty behind much of the news. Miami’s unique chaos, resilience, and absurdity are celebrated and lampooned in equal measure.

Conclusion

This episode offers a bracing look at how political theater, corruption, and bigotry intersect with everyday life in Florida, all filtered through the sharp wit of Miami’s most colorful commentators. For listeners seeking both laughs and righteous indignation, it’s a potent snapshot of South Florida in a time of culture war and upheaval.