The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Episode: Best of DLS: Zaslow Travels to South Bend
Date: December 29, 2025
Episode Overview
In this “Best Of” compilation, Dan Le Batard, Stugotz, and the crew deliver the kind of sports talk, irreverence, and storytelling that defines The Dan Le Batard Show. Broadcasting from the Elser Hotel in Downtown Miami, the episode features fan-favorite segments, with a focus on Jason Zaslow's hilariously disastrous travel adventure to South Bend for an ESPN assignment, Tony’s NFL Top Five, insider Miami Dolphins commentary, and a lively debate about Shohei Ohtani’s supernatural baseball achievements. The show packs in their signature banter, running jokes, and local flavor, making it a highlight for longtime listeners and a great entry point for newcomers.
Key Segments and Highlights
1. “Best Of” Format, Fan-Powered Selections
(03:20 – 05:16)
- Dan and Stugotz explain that the episode draws on “best of” moments as chosen by their Twitter audience.
- “I outsourced my work to the fans... Basically, the ones that showed up the most, that’s what you get today.” — Dan [04:07]
- Teased highlights: Two favorite hours — Zaslow’s story, and the first ever “thai food” drop.
2. Tony’s Walk-On FIU Quarterback Story
(06:19 – 10:14)
- Tony describes his college football walk-on at FIU, famously never being given a real football, only air passes.
- “They didn’t even give him a football. He was just throwing air passes and then he went home, and they never gave him his real chance.” — Dan [06:41]
- Tony explains that NCAA bylaws would've penalized the team for using real footballs in walk-on tryouts.
- Comedy ensues as the crew riffs on whether using a Nerf or “animal skin” ball would count against practice days.
- “That was the house I could have built if they had let me.” — Tony [08:12]
3. Tony’s Top Five NFL Observations (Rapid-Fire, Analysis, and Absurdity)
(10:14 – 21:36)
Tony presents his “Top Five NFL Observations,” infused with chaos, tangents, and Miami Dolphins distress:
- Jags Frustration: Stugotz and Tony rail against the Jacksonville Jaguars’ lack of discipline.
- “The Jags, every good play they had was undone by penalty... They're not serious people.” — Stugotz [11:24]
- Chiefs Rising: “I think we were wrong. Here come the Chiefs... Rashee Rice makes a big difference.” — Tony [13:02]
- Cowboys Not Dead: “When Dak Prescott is healthy, that team is always a 12-win team... they win.” — Tony [15:41]
- Colts Love: “The Colts are the most complete team in football... They’ll put 38 on anybody.” — Tony [17:06]
- Dolphins Despair: Tony launches into a satirical breakdown of Dolphins management, using only the letters in their names:
- “One of the M’s in Mike McDaniel stands for Miserable Muerto...” [18:51]
- “The M in Miami Dolphins stands for... Mahong... just a single piece of... not even a pile, just a single turd.” — Tony & Dan [19:44]
- Slapstick wordplay, continuous riffing, especially targeting the hometown Dolphins’ dysfunction.
4. Zaslow’s South Bend Travel Fiasco (Main Feature)
(42:21 – 48:12)
Context:
Zaslow, working ESPN’s college football coverage, details a “flight” to South Bend, which turns out to be an airline ticket with a shock twist.
The Story:
- Zaslow books through the ESPN travel system, planning to fly from Miami to South Bend via Chicago O’Hare.
- Upon landing at O’Hare, he’s perplexed that the connecting ‘flight’ to South Bend is listed as 2 hours and 45 minutes—far too long for the short hop across state lines.
- As he prepares to “board,” he’s sent down steps to what turns out to be... a bus, branded with American Airlines livery.
- “Are we taking this bus to South Bend?” — Zaslow to the driver [45:54]
- “Yes.”
- Quickly realizes everyone has assigned bus seats, complete with boarding passes.
- The bus driver makes flight-like PA announcements, “We’re waiting for the go-ahead from the air tower,” prompting Zaslow’s total confusion: “Woman, air tower? We're on a bus!” [47:12]
Memorable Quotes:
- “Can the second leg of your first-class flight ever be a bus?” — Dan (poll suggestion) [46:59]
- “Why would the bus say American Airlines on it? You’re not an airline, you’re a bus!” — Stugotz [47:25]
- “I just want to go.” — Zaslow (after texting Amber Wilson about the entire ordeal) [48:12]
The Crew Reacts:
- Collective disbelief and laughter about airline-branded buses as “connecting flights.”
- Jokes about assigned bus seats, snack service, and “turbulence on the drive.”
- Ends as one of the show's most iconic travel fails.
5. Shohei Ohtani Is Not Human: Baseball Segment
(32:47 – 41:29)
- Dan goes on a passionate, almost reverential tangent about Shohei Ohtani’s otherworldly playoff performance.
- “The most amazing athletic feat of the weekend was Shohei Ohtani... an extraterrestrial that has never existed on earth before.” — Dan [33:53]
- Recites Ohtani’s stat line: three home runs (one out of the stadium), 10 strikeouts, and a World Series berth clinched.
- “The playoff game he just had is something they will talk about 100 years from now.” — Dan [40:40]
- Explores the rarity of pitchers who can hit, minimizing the “put every major league pitcher in a HS game” debate that erupts.
- Babe Ruth vaudeville side tangent offers a rare historical nugget and classic show humor.
6. Precision in the NFL & Quarterback Play
(27:01 – 31:56)
- Dan discusses the “precision” required at the top levels of pro football.
- Fascination with how QBs like Stafford, Mahomes, and coaches like McVay operate military-style offenses.
- “The precision of the Rams is a tribute to excellence... If he plays them in the playoffs, [Stafford] is going to beat them.” — Dan [29:00]
- Miami Dolphins and Tua Tagovailoa as cautionary tales—“a Ferrari with a spark plug that went wrong.”
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- “The show will still party around Dolphins football... We will create a fun and happy atmosphere at the gates of hell as the apocalypse engulfs the football team.” — Stugotz [05:17]
- “You can’t be sloppy against [the Rams]... When Brian Flores is working his way back into the league... Military schools. Giant economies studying all day and night. The precision of the Rams is a tribute to excellence.” — Dan [29:00]
- “One of the E's in Stephen Ross stands for... He's in cojoná. That's what he is.” — Tony [21:00]
- “The only information we have on Tony’s FIU career is he tried out as a walk-on one time. They didn’t even give him a football.” — Dan [06:41]
- “Can the second leg of your first-class flight ever be a bus?” — Dan (regarding Zaslow’s travel misadventure) [46:59]
- “Why would the bus say American Airlines on it? You’re not an airline, you’re a bus!” — Stugotz [47:25]
- [On Ohtani] “Someone who would make Babe Ruth pale in his shadow.” — Dan [40:40]
Timestamps for Key Segments
| Timestamp | Segment | |------------|--------------------------------------------------| | 03:20-05:16| “Best Of” Episode Intro, Fan Picks Explained | | 06:19-10:14| Tony’s FIU Walk-On Story | | 10:14-21:36| Tony’s NFL Top Five, Miami Dolphins Rant | | 32:47-41:29| Shohei Ohtani Superhuman Baseball Segment | | 27:01-31:56| Precision in Football, Dolphins/Tua Talk | | 42:21-48:12| Zaslow’s South Bend “Flight” (Bus) Story |
Tone & Style
The crew is energetic, self-aware, and sarcastic, perpetually poking fun at each other, Miami sports pain, and their own alleged expertise. Much of the humor is rooted in self-deprecation, wordplay, and fake outrage layered with actual sports insights.
Summary
This “Best Of” episode is a showcase of The Dan Le Batard Show’s distinctive blend of sports analysis, improvisational comedy, and relatable storytelling. Zaslow’s travel misadventure stands out as an instant classic, while Tony’s top fives and NFL takes deliver plenty of fuel for Miami Dolphins fans (and haters). Dan’s admiration for baseball phenom Shohei Ohtani brings genuine awe, and everyone’s quick wit keeps the episode brisk and engaging.
Recommended for:
- Longtime fans seeking pure show essence
- Listeners who love deep sports talk with a twist
- Anyone who’s ever had an airline bus ordeal
End of Summary