Big Suey: Some Guy Named Warde

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz – Episode: Big Suey: Some Guy Named Warde

Release Date: December 4, 2024

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1. Introduction to the Episode

In this episode of The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz, recorded from the Elser Hotel in Downtown Miami, hosts Dan Le Batard and Stugotz dive into a myriad of topics ranging from sports commentary to personal anecdotes. The episode, titled "Big Suey: Some Guy Named Warde," primarily revolves around the intersection of sports, pop culture, and personal experiences.

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2. Joe Burrow’s Batmobile vs. Maybach Debate

One of the central discussions of the episode focuses on Joe Burrow, the Cincinnati Bengals quarterback, and his extravagant car purchase—a $3 million Batmobile. The hosts debate the aesthetics and practicality of the vehicle, questioning its value and design.

• Critique of the Batmobile’s Design:

  • Stugotz expresses his disapproval: “It looks like a car that's just been in a horrific traffic accident” (05:01).
  • Greg Cody adds, “That does not look like the original Batmobile” (05:27), emphasizing the departure from the iconic design fans love.

• Impact on Joe Burrow’s Image:

  • Mike Ryan voices concern: “I think that's a bad look for Joe Burrow” (08:00), suggesting that such purchases may overshadow his athletic performance.
  • Dan LeBatard draws parallels to Batman’s futile fight against crime, likening it to Burrow’s impressive stats yet struggling team performance: “Joe Burrow throws all these touchdowns, but the defense just keeps letting the other team score over and over again” (08:48).

• Poll Engagement:

  • The hosts encourage listener participation by asking, “Is $200 to $240k reasonable to pay for a car? Yes or no?” (04:29), fostering audience interaction on the topic.

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3. Personal Car Stories and Anecdotes

Mike Ryan shares a nostalgic segment recounting his personal car history, highlighting a variety of vehicles that shaped his early years.

• Ford Pinto Memories:
  • Mike Ryan reminisces: “It was my second car. My first car was a souped-up Buick Skylark... My second car was a brown Ford Pinto” (13:24), illustrating his journey through different vehicles.
  • The conversation evolves into humorous exchanges about naming cars and the quirks of ownership, adding a personal touch to the show.

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4. Oral History and Show’s Evolution

The episode touches upon the ongoing oral history project of the show, where past episodes and significant moments are revisited.

• Stugotz on Oral History:

  • Stugotz shares pride in the oral history: “It's been revealing...maybe we get an audiobook that's up to snuff” (31:45), indicating plans to compile these narratives for broader audience engagement.

• Listener Feedback:

  • Papi addresses listener queries about accessing earlier episodes, ensuring the audience can delve deeper into the show’s rich history (30:48).

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5. College Football Playoff and Miami’s Exclusion

A substantial portion of the episode delves into the contentious debate surrounding Miami’s exclusion from the College Football Playoff, analyzing the selection criteria and the perceived biases within the system.

• Performance Analysis:

  • Papi critiques Oklahoma’s season: “Oklahoma's problem is their head coach and their offense” (16:37), setting the stage for a broader discussion on team performances.
  • Dan LeBatard supports Miami’s case by pointing out their strong offensive stats despite setbacks: “Their offense has been so bad at maintaining possession” (17:50).

• Committee’s Selection Criteria:

  • Greg Cody and Dan LeBatard debate the evolving criteria, questioning the consistency and fairness in ranking: “Strength of schedule didn't matter until it did” (40:26).

• Listener Engagement:

  • The hosts urge listeners to contribute thoughts on whether Joe Burrow’s team should receive playoff consideration, reflecting the passionate fanbase around college football (10:23).

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6. Stugotz’s Proposal to MLB Commissioner Ward

In a pivotal moment, Stugotz presents a bold proposal to MLB Commissioner, Ward, introducing the concept of "Magic at bat" to enhance the baseball viewing experience.

• Proposal Details:

  • Stugotz outlines his idea: “I want to see Stanton hit...four to five magic at bats for each manager” (27:38), aiming to spotlight star players more effectively during games.

• Commissioner’s Response:

  • Ward dismisses the proposal, emphasizing the importance of maintaining the game's traditions: “The suggestion that you just floated would fall squarely in the category of would interfere with the history and traditions of the game” (28:10).

• Host Banter:

  • The interaction between Chris Cody and Stugotz highlights the tension and differing viewpoints on sports innovation: “You're wasting this man's time” vs. Stugotz’s perseverance to introduce change (28:35).

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7. Final Discussions and Audience Interaction

The episode concludes with lighthearted banter, further discussions on college football dynamics, and interactions regarding upcoming show events.

• College Football Rankings Debate:

  • Greg Cody and Papi engage in a heated discussion about the SEC’s dominance and Miami’s rightful place in the playoff, reflecting ongoing debates within the sports community (39:00).

• Upcoming Show Events:

  • The hosts mention cancellations and rescheduling of events, adding a dynamic layer to the show's narrative and keeping listeners informed about future plans (24:06).

• Humorous Exchanges:

  • The closing moments feature playful exchanges about show scripts and personal anecdotes, maintaining the show's engaging and entertaining atmosphere (44:31).

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Dan LeBatard on Joe Burrow’s performance: “Joe Burrow throws all these touchdowns, but the defense just keeps letting the other team score over and over again.” (08:48)

• Stugotz on the MLB proposal: “So four to five magic at bats for each manager where he can put Stanton in whenever he wants... the kids love magic.” (27:38)

• Greg Cody criticizes the Batmobile: “That does not look like the original Batmobile.” (05:27)

• Mike Ryan on Joe Burrow’s image: “I think that's a bad look for Joe Burrow.” (08:00)

• Papi on college football playoff selection: “The talent has been dispersed. It’s not a top 25 anymore. There are about 40 teams that on any given Saturday can beat you.” (37:07)

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Conclusion

This episode of The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz offers a blend of spirited debates, personal stories, and insightful sports commentary. From scrutinizing high-profile athlete purchases to dissecting the intricacies of college football rankings, the hosts provide a comprehensive and engaging discussion that caters to both avid sports fans and casual listeners alike.

For those who haven't tuned into the show, this episode encapsulates the essence of Le Batard and Stugotz's unique perspectives, making it a valuable listen for anyone interested in the multifaceted world of sports and pop culture.

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Note: Timestamps in the summary correspond to key moments in the provided transcript to highlight significant discussions and quotes.

Transcript

[Dan LeBatard]

You're listening to DraftKings Network.

[Stugotz]

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[Greg Cody]

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[Stugotz]

Welcome to the Big Sui presented by DraftKings.

[Chris Cody]

Why are you listening to this show.

[Stugotz]

The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Lerd podcast? I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that. In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging.

[Chris Cody]

I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries that if they're just there. That hasn't happened to you guys.

[Stugotz]

I've done it. And now here's the marching man to Nowhere Fat Face and the Habitual Liar.

[Chris Cody]

All right, I want to apologize to the audience, okay? Because every once in a while we forget who we are around here and we become a sports radio show arguing about sports and we forget that Greg Cody has gotten here and his hair is crazy and he came in traffic, he didn't have any time for makeup. And Greg Cody's got a microphone and he's got a thermos and he's ready to talk. And he hasn't been allowed because there's been a sports argument breaking out about college football, which is exactly what college football wants. It's a wonderful thing to have around your sport. Much better than flag planting arguments that we've been having for two days. But once you get to telling me some guy named Ward, Ward Manuel, the University of Michigan AD Perfect name. Some guy. Yeah, perfect. Just perfect. Like if I tell you, having seen the evolution of college football into the seismic thing that it is today get me, please, that video of the left tackle for Colorado showing off a Maybach because he protects the blind side of Shedore Sanders. Because I really am just riveted, Stugatz. Riveted by the professionalization of this sport where now everybody realizes what once upon a time was the secret domain, and Cody will laugh at this, of these people in bowl committees who were the owner of your local car dealership who would put on a loud jacket and come to our press box to eat hot dogs. And God damn it, they ran the sport. Yes, they knew, oh, my God, I could get Tostitos to just do an infomercial, put the name on the Fiesta bowl, and I'm going to strip clubs and steakhouses all over America. They ran the sport. Now everybody sees that. They had all the money. The guys with the loud jackets who would show up in your press box and be big shots for a weekend. Look, I'm walking into sports. I'm going to have some of your free media cookies and I'm going to sit in the back row and I'm going to watch the game. And you're going to think I'm an important person. They ran the sport for 30 years. They became commissioners, they became people named Ward. And now they've got all the money. Play this video for me of Shador Sanders. But the players and Deion Sanders realize, oh, this is the second most popular sport in America. And now the left tackle for Colorado. I can't even imagine what Texas and Ohio State are doing, but the left tackle for Colorado has a Maybach. Can you guys get me some information, please, on the Maybach and how much it costs? I know Joe burrow bought a $3 million Batmobile, but I'd like to know more. Yeah, Joe Burrow just bought one of the ten Christopher Nolan cars, right? There were only ten made. It's a. It's not street legal. Right, but it is.

[Dan LeBatard]

Who's manufacturing this car? This was a revelation from AFC North Hard knocks last night on hbo. Max. Oh, my God, what an episode I'm.

[Greg Cody]

Seeing that the Maybach runs from anywhere from 200k to 240k.

[Mike Ryan]

Reasonable.

[Chris Cody]

Put it on the poll, please. At Lebatard show. Juju. Is 200 to 240k reasonable to pay for a car? Yes or no?

[Stugotz]

You got to do that on a three year lease, right?

[Greg Cody]

I mean, well, you know, what is.

[Mike Ryan]

That vehicle you just showed?

[Chris Cody]

It's the Batmobile. How do you not recognize the Batmobile?

[Mike Ryan]

Because it looks like a car that's just been in A horrific traffic accident.

[Stugotz]

I agree with Greg. Yes. That does not look like the original Batmobile.

[Greg Cody]

I mean, it's the modern one. If you've seen any of the recent movies, it's the current one.

[Mike Ryan]

Awful.

[Stugotz]

It's ugly. Yeah.

[Mike Ryan]

Just terrible.

[Chris Cody]

You think the Batmobile is terrible?

[Mike Ryan]

What I just saw looks like a car that's just been through a wreck.

[Greg Cody]

My dad's picturing, like, the 90s one where it's like the original one. It kind of looks like a Corvette, which my dad loves.

[Dan LeBatard]

Is that like a Coupe de Ville? What is the original Batmobile? It's got like the. Like the thingies on the back, right?

[Mike Ryan]

Well, the original Batmobile was sleek. It had sleek lines. This is just a.

[Stugotz]

Like a tank.

[Mike Ryan]

Chaos on wheels, that one.

[Chris Cody]

Okay, let's play Joe Burrow here. The sound of him. This is a $3 million automobile. I'd like to get your review of Hard Knocks, but here's Joe Burrow telling his teammates, like, that's a pretty cool thing, right? Joe Burrow's already pretty cool to be able to afford and to actually buy one of only ten Christopher Nolan fans. If you're a Batman fan, let's hear Joe Burrow.

[Papi]

I called you up.

[Chris Cody]

Did you get it yet, though?

[Papi]

I don't get it for like a year, but I bought it.

[Jessica]

Oh, the real.

[Stugotz]

They gonna be crazy. It gonna be crazy. You gotta go to the Ventures, Batman, where he had the ass eye thing on.

[Papi]

I think I gotta go all in and go for, like, the expensive Batsuit.

[Stugotz]

The suit and all.

[Chris Cody]

That gonna be funny as hell, though.

[Stugotz]

I ain't gonna lie. That gonna be hilarious.

[Chris Cody]

He. How about that sort of cape on, bro.

[Papi]

What if I decide? What if I wore it to every game? I just wore the full Batsuit Batmobile every game. If I go crazy on Halloween after, I mean.

[Stugotz]

Yeah, Then I, you know, I would be like, yeah, whatever.

[Chris Cody]

Getting 2, 507 touchdowns.

[Jessica]

I wear.

[Greg Cody]

We're being told that it's not street legal, though. He just said in there that he might drive it to the game in a Batsuit. So I don't know if he's able to do that. That would be fun, though.

[Dan LeBatard]

Are you a co op?

[Chris Cody]

I mean, he can do it illegally. He's Joe Burrow, right? Like you. You think Joe, bro. Kobe Bryant used to park wherever he wanted to in Los Angeles. Like, he just park. And people knew it was Kobe's car.

[Stugotz]

He would just probably set Kobe on it. License plate, all the spots.

[Chris Cody]

Like, Kobe could do that all over Los Angeles. Let's let's discuss this for a second at Le Batard show. These are some of the questions. Does Joe Burrow become cooler when he buys the Batmobile? Because Greg Cody saying it looks like a bad car. I'm like, that's a gangster move. He just made like the idea. It is so hard these days as an athlete if you want to show all the other athletes that you have more style than them with your automobile, like, it's pretty hard to do. And he just landed one of 10 cars and so I thought it made him cooler. But I'd like to get on a guest who can tell me more about this car. I'd like Sullivan to chase someone down because I'd like to know what this purchase is, if it's 30 times more than a Maybach, because there can't be many people in the world who are buying these cars, but I want to know who they are.

[Greg Cody]

I feel like this is just a Joe Burrow is cool thing. Like if Russell Wilson does this, aren't we like laughing at it a little bit? Joe Burrow can't do anything that's not cool.

[Mike Ryan]

I think that's a bad look for Joe Burrow.

[Greg Cody]

A bad look.

[Mike Ryan]

That's a bad look for Joe Burrow. And it falls under the category less car buying, more winning.

[Stugotz]

Yep.

[Chris Cody]

When you're the playing so well.

[Mike Ryan]

But focus on W's Dan when you're the quarterback there. There are two teams in the NFL that have had monstrously disappointing seasons. You tell them San Francisco and the Batmobile owners team. And it's just a bad look to be on Hard Knocks talking about your car when your team is in the tank. I just think it's a bad look.

[Dan LeBatard]

I mean, I'm trying to think through like a Batman Joe Burrow analogy here because Batman, like, he fights crime, he tries to do all this good. But like the. It doesn't. It's a drop in the bucket. Right. Like the bad stuff keeps happening. Joe Burrow, he throws all these touchdowns, but the defense just keeps letting the other team score over and over again. And I mean, there are some similarities there in the futility of it all.

[Stugotz]

But you can't drive away to Greg's point from the stadium after another loss in that car.

[Chris Cody]

Can you though, as the league leader in passing yards and passing touchdowns?

[Stugotz]

Not when you're 49 about winning.

[Chris Cody]

Wait a minute. Wait.

[Mike Ryan]

Not stats.

[Chris Cody]

Wait, wait a minute, wait a minute. Put it on the poll. Juju at LeBatard show. Can Joe Burrow make even losing cool? Because you will not tell me. You will not tell me, okay, that if Joe Burrow drives out of that stadium, as he will illegally, in his street, illegal car through a city he owns, through a city where he is the biggest star in the town now and the biggest star in, I don't know how long, maybe the biggest star Cincinnati has ever had outside of Pete Rose, like he's. Pete Rose was a fan of Joe Burrows. You will not tell me that that guy will leave a stadium leading the league in passing yards and touchdowns, and that street cop Stugotts will stop him on the way out of the gates in his Batmobile and say, you, sir, are not cool. You can't leave this way. You don't have style. Your team has four wins.

[Stugotz]

I would say you, sir, are four and 10.

[Mike Ryan]

Yes. I mean, he would look, Joe Burrow, if his team were 10 and 2, he would be the MVP favorite right now, based on statistics. But they're not. Okay. The Batmobile. Based on the season he's having, the Batmobile should be backfiring and have two flat tires. It's just a bad look for him because you want to go, you know, really, you're five and what are you? You're four and eight. Whatever their record in the last three.

[Chris Cody]

Games, he's thrown for more than 1,000 yards, 10 touchdowns, and one interception in the last three games, and they're.03.

[Mike Ryan]

I know. The weird thing is we judge football by wins and losses, not by.

[Chris Cody]

Not all of us do it that way.

[Dan LeBatard]

Maybe we should just decide to put them in the playoff, because I think we should.

[Stugotz]

Yes.

[Chris Cody]

Put it on the poll.

[Greg Cody]

Absolutely.

[Chris Cody]

Good losses. Put it on the poll. Juju at LeBatard show. Should Joe Burrow by himself be the 12th team in the playoff? Because I take it in his Batmobile. Just have. Just have Joe Burrow wandering around smoking.

[Dan LeBatard]

Cigars, are we, Greg? So let's say Jamar Chase has the Batmobile. There's only so much he can do, right, as a wide receiver. Like, is this just a thing for Joe Burrow, or can a really good wide receiver on a losing team drive the Batmobile? Are they allowed to do that?

[Mike Ryan]

Look, I think it's a bad look to be on Hard Knocks in the middle of the season they're having, talking about a $3 million car purchase. You know, maybe the fact that you're.

[Stugotz]

Thinking about that while you're, you know, going through a four and eight season and have lost three straight. Yes.

[Chris Cody]

I want to give you guys some of the history here, because I know Greg Cody knows it. This franchise has been a cheap and national laughing stock for decades before Joe Burrow got there. Marvin Lewis was retained simply because he was spectacularly mediocre for a consistent time. This organization, by all other NFL standards, is laughed at by the other organizations. That was enough to sink Carson Palmer at the end. He's like, get me out of here. I'm not good enough to lift this from the mouth. Joe Burrow's out here. Batmobiles leading the league in passing and touchdowns, and he's losing, but they're not sinking him.

[Greg Cody]

He's so hot.

[Chris Cody]

I mean, they are not. They are not. They are not killing any of his cool.

[Papi]

You see the mass he put on there?

[Chris Cody]

Yeah.

[Papi]

He looks big.

[Greg Cody]

Can put anything on.

[Stugotz]

Dan, all we're saying is at 4 and 8, you show up nice pair of slacks and a Ford Pinto and that's it. That's what you do.

[Mike Ryan]

Thank you.

[Stugotz]

I mean, I don't care how cool you are.

[Chris Cody]

Put it on the pole, please. Juju. At 4, 8, do you show up to the stadium in slacks and a Ford Pinto?

[Papi]

Big day for slacks on the show.

[Dan LeBatard]

They were vindicated though, right? They weren't actually slacks, no Ford Pintos. They were the cars that everyone thought were spontaneously combusting.

[Mike Ryan]

I used to drive a Ford Pinto. It's a beautiful brown one. Yeah. One of my earliest cars. I'm a Pinto fan. Don't get me started.

[Papi]

Did it have a name? Do you name your cars?

[Mike Ryan]

I do not name my cars, no.

[Papi]

You never named your car?

[Mike Ryan]

Never named my car.

[Greg Cody]

But he does do the thing where when he sees another of his cars out there, he like, waves.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah. We have a wave.

[Stugotz]

You say hi?

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah.

[Chris Cody]

Yeah.

[Stugotz]

To an old friend. Yeah.

[Mike Ryan]

I'm always ready to wave because I never want to be the first one to wave, but I'm always ready if the other guy waves, you know, I.

[Chris Cody]

Believe that's your whole approach to friendship. You have never made a phone call to me in your life, like.

[Mike Ryan]

Well, I mean, you know, let's not get carried away.

[Chris Cody]

No, that's. So when you say, don't get me started, though, I'm going to call your bluff on this. I think you're bluffing. I'm going to get you started. Tell me everything, please. I want to get you started on the Ford Pinto. Your Ford Pinto. It.

[Mike Ryan]

It was my second car. Okay. My first car was a souped up Buick Skylark with big fat racing tires. I had. It had an aluminum block motor and I ran it through a big Giant puddle and ruined the motor. My second car was a brown Ford Pinto, which at the time just seemed like I was living large.

[Greg Cody]

How old were you?

[Mike Ryan]

I was probably college age. Ah.

[Greg Cody]

So nice shag and wagon.

[Stugotz]

I mean, a big back seat. Yeah, yeah.

[Mike Ryan]

I mean, you know, the Ford Pinto and I got that part. Yeah. My third car was an orange opal station wagon with a mountain scene in the background in. In the rear window.

[Stugotz]

Really?

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah. Memories.

[Stugotz]

Delightful.

[Greg Cody]

That sounds gross. What was your fourth car? The white van.

[Mike Ryan]

I had a couple of Hondas. Yeah, I had.

[Papi]

You had a Honda Streak.

[Dan LeBatard]

Happy Honda days. By the way.

[Mike Ryan]

I own two Honda. I owned an accordion.

[Chris Cody]

Right.

[Mike Ryan]

And what's the lesser one than the Accord?

[Dan LeBatard]

The Civic.

[Mike Ryan]

Civic. I owned a Civic.

[Papi]

So that was my first car.

[Mike Ryan]

I upgraded to an Accord and then I think I got into Corvetteville after that. I'm not sure.

[Greg Cody]

What about the white van?

[Mike Ryan]

Oh, yeah, the white van that my mother in law accused me of stealing to buy.

[Greg Cody]

She had what, she had Alzheimer's?

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah. You know, my mother in law at that time, you know, she's going through some personal issues. She had, you know, a little bit of dementia there. And one of the things she did was in the throes of that was accuse me of stealing money from her.

[Greg Cody]

And she hated you at the end.

[Mike Ryan]

Well. And I tried to explain to her as much as you explained to somebody in that condition, if I'm stealing money from you, it ain't to buy a white Dodge Caravan. Trust me. I'm going to be buying a Batmobile or a Maybach, not a white Caravan. Anyway. Car talk, that kind of thing.

[Dan LeBatard]

The only thing on fire in your Pinto was your loins, right?

[Mike Ryan]

Yes, exactly. Well put.

[Chris Cody]

I would never say well put, Mike.

[Dan LeBatard]

No, he was talking to me.

[Chris Cody]

I was talking to Mike about the.

[Dan LeBatard]

Greg's loins were on fire.

[Chris Cody]

Well, so were Mike's. Yes, so were Mike's.

[Dan LeBatard]

So were Poppy's. Can we play another one?

[Chris Cody]

Do we have more of that? Do we have. I want some more 50 shades of gray. And I do just want for my own information, because legit confused and don't have any answers. The three points that Alabama put up against Oklahoma. Can you look at the game logs for me, please? Because I just. I don't have recollection of anybody doing anything but running up and down the field on Oklahoma. So please give me some game logs on the point totals that Oklahoma has allowed to others. And then someone explained to me what they did in that game that made Alabama score only three points in it. Eleven days ago and nobody cares and nobody remembers.

[Papi]

Alabama's offense has been neutralized. Like when a defense is on that offense's ass, it looks like ass. They're limited. Just like when a team is on Miami's defense and knows exactly what to do. Attack them in space.

[Chris Cody]

But Oklahoma's defense, what I'm asking you is give me some point totals of what other teams have scored against Oklahoma.

[Stugotz]

Mississippi scored 26 against Oklahoma. Tennessee scored 25 against Oklahoma, but Temple scored three.

[Greg Cody]

If you're looking for SEC teams, the they gave up 21 was the least.

[Papi]

Oklahoma's problem is their head coach and their offense. Their head coach, Brett Venables, like Venables is defense. That's a famous thing throughout college football. Like his defense, if you bring him in, he's going to have a sound defense. Their issues were all along that offense and the fact that he runs red all the time.

[Dan LeBatard]

It was turnovers in the second half. That's what it was. Every time it looked like Alabama was okay, they're going to to score a touchdown here. Turnover. It was interception. Interception. I think there was a pick six in there.

[Papi]

Yeah, it's exactly how they beat Auburn.

[Dan LeBatard]

Very controversial call in the fourth quarter that went against Alabama. I mean, it was just a bad offensive game for Alabama, but I'm with Mike. I think Oklahoma's defense is really good. I think that one of the reasons that they've been. They've struggled so much is that their offense has been so bad at maintaining possession that their defense has just been on the field a lot this season. It's been a really, really tough season for Oklahoma offensively and Alabama was able, not able to contain Oklahoma's offense, which is an insane thing to say, which also contributed to it. But really Alabama's offense had a really.

[Papi]

Bad game and I'm a big fan of the offensive coordinator that they brought in from Washington State, Arbuckle. And if the quarterback follows at quarterback, I don't. Not many people watch Washington State this year. I think they were exclusively on the cw. That offense was really, really fun. There wasn't much of a drop off in terms of quarterback play and offensive output from Cam Ward. So they might fix it on the offensive side next year. But ultimately I think that hiring was a disaster in Venables and they're going to fire him eventually.

[Stugotz]

More poppy, please.

[Papi]

And now Papi reads A passage from Fifty Shades of Gray. Page 78.

[Jessica]

Christian Trails. A spoonful of ice cream down the center of my body, across my stomach and into my navel. He kisses each of my breasts and leash off my nipples hard, then follows the line of ice cream down my body and licking. As he goes this way, he murmurs and abruptly he leans over, releases my hands and pulls me upright so I'm practically sitting on him. He nuzzles my neck, biting down, and he flexes his hips deliciously, slowly, again and again. He smiles against my neck and his fingers curl around my jaw and throw, holding me fast for a moment.

[Stugotz]

Dan In 17 years with Nick Saban, Alabama never scored three or fewer points.

[Chris Cody]

I'm sorry, Stugots. I'm disoriented. Nobody warned me that anybody was doing this today. Mike has had a lot of fun with that Oral history.

[Dan LeBatard]

Oral history.

[Chris Cody]

And there is smutty Smedy.

[Jessica]

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[Stugotz]

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[Mike Ryan]

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[Greg Cody]

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[Stugotz]

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[Chris Cody]

Don LeBatard.

[Mike Ryan]

What do I got here? I got a Magnum condom. We won't get that out.

[Chris Cody]

That's shocking. Stugats.

[Mike Ryan]

Here's a picture of Christopher when he was like three years old.

[Chris Cody]

Right next to the condom.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah.

[Stugotz]

Forever.

[Papi]

Never forget.

[Jessica]

This is the Dan Levatar show with the Stugats.

[Chris Cody]

I have enjoyed the oral history, but I had not remembered any of this for good reason. This is not something that I want to think about. But every time you do this, the ones laughing hardest in here are Greg Cody and Chris Cody. Chris laughing in my face. So, Chris, I'm going to do it to you, all right? I want to do 50 Shades of Greg.

[Greg Cody]

Oh, God.

[Chris Cody]

Yeah. Get me some paperwork around here somewhere. Get. Find me something that Greg can read so I can do this to you. So you can see how not funny this is to do when it's your father involved like these things. You have to understand, I have never thought of my father this way.

[Papi]

I never want Greg to have a coughing fit. But if there was ever a good time, it's in the middle of one of these passages.

[Chris Cody]

So get me a couple of passages that would be funny for 50 Shades of Green. Greg, please.

[Stugotz]

Even the time you were hiding under his bed.

[Chris Cody]

I don't like to remember any. You were 36. I don't like to think about any of this. I've got a question for you, too. I need to tell people now before they, you know, make all sorts of plans to drive through this Art Basel traffic. You guys were going to have a big night at a church tomorrow night. And then I'm hearing from all sorts of people yesterday on Facebook that the event was canceled. And I thought it was just, you know, some of the stuff that happens around Stugatz where you never know if he's going to show up. And it was a big. But you guys are now not doing this tomorrow night. The event has been canceled. And I'm assuming it's because of an act of God, and I'm assuming in a church, that Stugatz would immediately burst into flames based on just his legacy upon entering a church. So this is what happened.

[Stugotz]

As I told you earlier, I requested a synagogue and Greg wanted to watch football.

[Chris Cody]

All right, wait a minute. No, wait a minute. Chicken thigh. Come on.

[Papi]

Come on. This is all yesterday. Except for two dots.

[Chris Cody]

Come on. Happy Tanooka. People were excited. We were going to celebrate a big week of authorship and best selling and all sorts of things at a church.

[Papi]

And were they excited enough?

[Mike Ryan]

Shit happens. Yeah, I was worried I was going to be struck by lightning walking into that church. I was nervous about that.

[Stugotz]

I mean, truth is, the response was so overwhelming. They need to find a bigger venue stadium.

[Chris Cody]

You held out for more money.

[Papi]

Truth is, is how that sentence started.

[Chris Cody]

Yeah, I have. Thank you. I have to get to this, though, because as part of this giant week that Stugatz is having as a publishing giant who didn't read or write his own book, but is going to get all the money and the sales from his book, and it's a monster success. The audience has bought tens and tens of thousands of books. So it's been a big week for Stugatz. But on top of that, something we were talking yesterday is. And this is God Almighty. I just can't believe that this is happening. We found the original sound, Chris, how incriminating is it? What is the original sound? Because I have not heard it of Stugatz talking to the commissioner of baseball about this idea that the commissioner of baseball has now blatantly stolen in front of everybody. And it's a great idea, but I don't remember what Manfred's response was, was to this. So when you heard the sound, Chris, what did it reveal?

[Greg Cody]

It revealed that. See, remember we had the contentious interview with Manfred. So that's the one we combed through yesterday. We thought it was in there. We had him on apparently before that. And that's when Stu got. Before we had all the, you know, the tension. So this was the interview before that. And we asked him, and it goes about how you'd expect. And Dan is kind of doing this stuff of like, oh, you're wasting the guy's time. So he, you know, we're kind of, you know, he dismisses it completely. The thing that he's open to now, he completely dismisses, not open to the.

[Chris Cody]

Thing that we're accusing him publicly of stealing from Stugott.

[Stugotz]

I have had attorneys reach out to me on social media saying they'd like to represent me, that I have a case against Major League Baseball copyright case.

[Chris Cody]

I don't. I don't think you have any ownership over this particular idea, but I want to claim it nationally.

[Stugotz]

Commissioner, if I may. If I may, let me present you with a radical.

[Chris Cody]

Oh, no.

[Stugotz]

If I may. Okay, all right. I like to call it Commissioner. I like to call it the Magic at bat. Okay? Now just hear me out for a second, okay, Commissioner, when you go to an NBA game, okay, you are guaranteed you're going to see LeBron James or Dwyane Wade or Kevin Durant or Westbrook if they're not injured.

[Chris Cody]

This man's time, you guarantee an important man who's got. Who's so important that he's got people on the line with phlegm problems that are listening in on his conversation.

[Stugotz]

But I think the commissioner will agree with me on this one. You're guaranteed to see Those guys play 35, 40 minutes, which is basically like 90, 95% of the entire game.

[Chris Cody]

Let's get to it.

[Stugotz]

In base all. When I go to a Marlins game, I'm only see four bats at Stanton. So I want to implement what I like to call the magic at bat, where each manager at any Time during the game, for the love of God, can go with because commission. I'm not going to see a pitcher hit. I'm not going to see a shortstop hit. I'm going to see Stanton hit. So four to five magic at bats for each manager where he can put Stanton in whenever he wants. And there's. And there's smoke. And the kids love magic.

[Chris Cody]

You're wasting this man's time. What do you.

[Stugotz]

What do you think? I'm with your friend. You're wasting my time? Yes, I think that's a crazy idea. You would agree more time the stars are on the field, the better for baseball.

[Chris Cody]

You're going to continue to argue this. You're really going to continue to argue this.

[Stugotz]

Let me give you a really serious answer about a suggestion like that. We are very open to the idea of making changes to the game. We see pace of game as one example of it. We see instant replay from last year as another example of it. When you make those changes, I think it's always important to ask yourself the question as to whether you are interfering with the history and the traditions of the game. And I think the suggestion that you just floated would fall squarely in the category of would interfere with the history and traditions of the game. So that's a maybe.

[Chris Cody]

No. No. I think that's a no, actually A defiant and angry.

[Stugotz]

But Commissioner, did you hear about the smoke?

[Chris Cody]

Did you hear that part about the smoke? That's proof, is it not? That's not.

[Stugotz]

That's.

[Chris Cody]

I want to fine myself retroactively for tone for not, not should and no support. Not supporting you enough. Yes, that should be a new fine. We need to come up. We need to come up with a whole new fine system. We've. I ended the other fine system. So we need to come up with an enforceable fine system. I don't know how much money Greg Cody owes. He hasn't paid money and I don't know how long and I don't know how to enforce any of this. But we should be enforcing. There should be some rule from the show that gave you forbid flag planting because we love rules so much. We want more rules in sports. It's what we're about.

[Jessica]

Rules.

[Chris Cody]

And ward commissioners named ward the warden. That's a good nickname. I think we'd agree that that's a good nickname.

[Mike Ryan]

Thank you. You're welcome.

[Chris Cody]

Mike, how's the oral history going? Because I know that I have enjoyed listening, reminiscing about some of the stuff and I know the listeners have been listen Lot of it. So I assume you're not getting a whole lot of criticism on it.

[Papi]

I'm not getting a whole lot of criticism on it. One of the criticisms that I've received, very few of them on social media is like, hey, I'm trying to listen to some of the earlier episodes. Where can I find the earlier episodes? Because it's on our main channel feed, it doesn't have its own dedicated RSS feed, and people are finding it hard to find. Go to lebatardaf.com we have a special page where we put together a playlist so you can listen to just the oral history episodes. It's been fun. It's been revealing. It's been like to record these a little taxing because we're covering some old shit that drums up some good memories, some not so good memories. You put yourself back in those stressful places. The next episode really covers for me the most stressful time in our show's history. And that'll be coming at you next Friday. But I'm really proud of it. I love the contributions. It was good to hear Old Money Charlie on the last episode and see how much he's grown from his experience with us. And I'm really grateful that the listening audience has really responded to it. And maybe, maybe at the end of all this, we do something with these episodes that we put together and maybe we get an audio book that's up to snuff.

[Stugotz]

I'll read it.

[Chris Cody]

I don't believe that you will read it or sell it or show up to churches to celebrate it.

[Papi]

The synagogue would be nice, Dan. Truth be told, I did flip on my Miami CFP argument in 24 hours, and I was absolutely pressured by the powers that be at Miami.

[Dan LeBatard]

Wait, but who's bought and pay for it?

[Chris Cody]

I claimed he was bought and paid for.

[Papi]

Yeah, but I'm the one doing the buying and paying, and I just do what they tell me.

[Dan LeBatard]

Yeah, you're paying. And yeah, he's paying.

[Papi]

To be the power dynamic on this is really important, but college athletics, we love it, but you didn't really fight for your program. I just got texted by Todd Fritz over at the Dan Patrick show, and there's like, hey, short notice, but is there any chance that you can join us live in an hour to talk about the cfp? Nice, Dan. Yesterday I realized after having my arm twisted by my head coach that this is a politicking game. If Deborah's going on McAfee, we're front facing Miami show. We'll be damned if we let this happen. Now we mobilized and we did what we could and we were so close. But would you like to join Dan Patrick and really truly argue with conviction that Miami should be in this? Because I don't actually believe you think Miami should be in it.

[Chris Cody]

Well, no, I could, I could absolutely and easily argue. I could absolutely muster righteous indignation on behalf of. If you're going to make it a made for television event, hey, how about giving me the best quarterback and the best offense and let me take my chances in a shootout game. You're going to promise me shootout game. I can absolutely do that with conviction. But I think I'd prefer for you, Jeremy and Jessica to make the argument on behalf of all of it because you guys are still making merit based arguments. When I continue to look at you and be like, what are you guys talking about? Like, how do you not understand that they're going to tell you the 12th team is whatever the argument is? Because you can make the argument for any 12th team and then they're going to put Alabama on television because everybody wants to see Alabama on television.

[Stugotz]

So you want Mike to respond to Todd Fritz? I'm in. But I'm bringing Jess and Jeremy with me.

[Chris Cody]

The whole show, that the whole show is about to make the argument, not just me.

[Stugotz]

I like the idea of the three of them doing it. I think the three of them are the most passionate about this and they will, they will help.

[Chris Cody]

Well, they're the most passionate about college football, but Mike's the only one who's passionate about the Miami argument.

[Papi]

I mean, you're out your own hit.

[Dan LeBatard]

I also think Mike, no offense to you, you did hurt the argument a little bit yesterday when you said Syracuse was as good as South Carolina and Alabama. So maybe doing a little bit more harm than good there.

[Papi]

My point is, there's this whole point away. What I hate so much about college football is the response to that is you're an idiot. What are you talking about? Alabama would smoke Syracuse. Really? Cause if Syracuse plays Oklahoma, how does that game go? You just showed to me that you lost to two six win teams. You lost to Vanderbilt as a huge favorite on the road. So don't tell me you know with full conviction that South Carolina is better than Syracuse, that Alabama is better than Syracuse because this is the whole convenient thing that is working for the SEC when they actually play these games, Dan, in bowl games and interconference, it doesn't hold up. Shine a light on it. Check out old Mrs. Record. Two weeks ago, Nick Saban Asked what would Ole Miss's record be inside the Big 12? And I told you already, a team that went winless Inside the Big 12 beat Arkansas, that beat Tennessee, and then the Big 12 tweeted out Ole Miss's scores against the Big 12. The Big 12 owns Ole Miss. It's convenient because everybody just thinks it's 2011 and they're the only conference that's paying players anymore. It's not. The talent has been dispersed. There are, it's not a top 25 anymore. There are about 40 teams that on any given Saturday can beat you. So just coming at an argument to thoroughly dismiss Syracuse scenario in which Syracuse can beat Alabama is not good faith.

[Dan LeBatard]

I just dismiss them because they lost to Stanford. I think I'm actually the only person here that can be objective about this because I don't have an allegiance to any conference. I hate all conferences. This is why you guys should all just be independent because you get to choose who you play for. You get to decide who your non conference games are. You get to decide who you play at the end of the season, the week before the playoff rankings come out, you get a choice. You get to decide what network you err on. You get to decide everything. It's great. You have independence, you have freedom. Ignore the stupid 5 team ACC deal that you made which really at the end of the day only hurts you because Florida State stinks this year. That's another team you should be mad at, by the way, Florida State. I agree with you though in a lot of principle on what you're saying about the sec. I think the SEC is probably the best conference in college football. But I don't think the gap between the SEC and the Big Ten and the Big 12 and the ACC is as big as SEC fans think it is. I think that this year in particular, the argument for that is really, really, really weak. I do though think that South Carolina and Alabama are better than Stans.

[Papi]

That's fine. But it wasn't Lane after they lost to Kentucky saying like this is this conference, like why don't you try to play Kentucky? And then Louisville beats Kentucky by 40. It's just very interesting that people, and quite frankly it's a lot of ESPN personalities that don't know jack shit about college football that just get the head headlines. It's a lot of people that casually follow Sukatz has been saying God bless them, do it against Alabama for two decades. They're not actually watching the games. They're not. Nothing sticks to the SEC when they get Called on their bullshit. It just means more, brother, because they get to have more teams in the College Football Playoff. So they get more lottery tickets. So you get the confirmation bias that, look, at the end of the day, they're champions.

[Dan LeBatard]

Hang on for one. First of all, I think that Kentucky loss did disqualify Ole Miss from the playoff. Second, I think at the point in the season in which Ole Miss lost to Kentucky, they had, Kentucky had just come off of the Georgia game, which was extremely close. And I think that that was a fair argument to make at the time. Now Kentucky proceeded to have one of their worst seasons of all time. So that argument aged terribly.

[Papi]

But they're the Stanford of the SEC at the time.

[Dan LeBatard]

You could maybe, okay, I don't know, maybe this loss is not the worst thing ever. But now that is clearly why they're not in it anymore. I also think there's another team that should be pissed off, which is South Carolina. Because if Clemson wins the acc, South Carolina, guess what they did this past weekend? They beat Clemson.

[Papi]

Yeah, but again, we were having this conversation during one of the breaks and the general attitude, ah, Clemson, they suck. Well, what does that make South Carolina? Because Clemson threw up on themselves. They were in control of that game the entire time. Clemson kind of stole. That game was kind of stolen from Clemson in that South Carolina made plays at the end and Klubnick turns the ball over when they're already in game tying field goal range. So if Clemson sucks ass, doesn't South Carolina just suck a little less ass?

[Dan LeBatard]

No, I mean like, I get your point in general, but they won. So like when you beat your rival, even if it's ugly and it goes down to the last drive, you still won the game. And like the, the exact opposite argument is what happened to Miami where if Miami wins by four points, we're not like, how much better is Miami than Syracuse? We're like, well, Miami's 11 and 1. They're in the ACC championship game.

[Greg Cody]

The argument all year was win games and you get in and Miami was in position to do so. And look, we've long know this is not a college football playoff. This is an ESPN College Football Invitational. It is what it is. But they've also been consistent the whole time. The first thing that they look at is how many great wins do you have? And what they're saying for Alabama is they beat Georgia and they beat South Carolina and those are better wins in Miami. And then after that, what they look for is good losses in their mind. But when you have the first determining factor being good wins. They have two ranked wins and Miami doesn't have any.

[Dan LeBatard]

Missouri also.

[Papi]

Well, that's another thing, Missouri being ranked all season long. But I would disagree with you, Jeremy, and that what is the one thing they prioritize? It shifts every year. It's something new. Strength of schedule didn't matter until it did. And this is not my take. This is Greg McElroy, famous Alabama grad. Like, he even admitted that the scale that this thing was judged on changed in the last few years.

[Dan LeBatard]

There's also different committee members this year. I mean, I think that last year what happened with the playoff with Florida State getting left out even though they won all their games, which like Jer Barrett, you're right. It's always been like, we'll win all your games and there's no argument about it. Well, in a 14 playoff, they got left out and it was really stupid. And so I think a lot of credibility was lost from people that think that the committee will do anything to put SEC teams in, even though there is a. I'm not saying it's super legit, but there is a decent enough argument for Alabama to be over Miami this year because of Georgia.

[Papi]

We're parsing.

[Dan LeBatard]

Last year, I think, is really what's tainting this entire conversation and pissing people off. Rightfully so.

[Papi]

You said it's an ESPN Open Invitational. If you look at the investment that ESPN has made in the ACC compared to what the they've made the sec, all this stuff starts making a little bit more sense.

[Greg Cody]

You're totally right.

[Chris Cody]

The place that I'm gonna need some help with because we've got a real tension here at Metal Arc Media as we've got rising stars and there are only so many microphones that we have, and we're trying to give them to as many people as possible. But what ends up happening is the following. I'm promising that while everything you guys just talked about is a very interesting college football argument, the weeds of it are fascinating. Okay? But I sat here next to Greg, Cody and Stugotts and saw that they weren't listening to a word you guys were saying because you guys want to do this show where we're playing the sound of Ward Manuel. So I'm going to give you the show you guys want to do. Here's Ward Manuel because sports needs more Ward. Maurice, it's good to be with you again. What it came down to is as we evaluated both teams and looked at how they rank, obviously we think of both teams. One's at 11, one's at 12. But what it really came down to is Alabama is 3 and 1 against current top 25 teams and Miami is 01. Alabama is 6 and 1 against teams above.500 and Miami's 4 and 2. Both have had some losses that weren't what they wanted out of those games. But in the last three, Miami has lost two twice. And so for us, in evaluating their body of work, we felt that Alabama got the edge over Miami. So the show you guys want to do and Dan Patrick's asking me to be on it and as I listen to you guys talk, I'm like, well, maybe we can just create these characters. Hey, anti SEC voice, Notre Dame fan, annoying guy. And we can have them Annoying guy.

[Papi]

Leave him alone. He just ended a point by saying I was right.

[Chris Cody]

Talk at Dan Patrick and just make his eyebrows singe with how much you've learned about college football.

[Papi]

Or dude, you really triggering me by not offering me a rebuttal or yeah, no, I know.

[Chris Cody]

And you were offering Ward rebuttals. I'm hearing this file over 500 thing makes me crazy. While Ward was talking, you're. Yes, I know you've got plenty of rebuttals. That's the show you want to do.

[Papi]

There are three teams not ranked in the top 25 specifically because Miami beat them. In fact, Miami is also 31 when you make it a top 30 and all also is 500, not 500 and above. They lost to 26 and 6 teams here, people.

[Chris Cody]

Okay, so the thing I need help with because I'm trying to tell you guys something like I'm laughing at all of this because Greg Cody, the owners of local car dealerships wearing loud orange jackets who used to run this sport, gave the ACC to John Skipper, the CEO of this company. That bad ACC deal that Jessica is talking about, one of the historically worst in the history of television for the people who had vow you was concocted by our CEO because this is all a made for television nonsense and you guys don't seem to understand it as you argue about the merits of this. And the show I want to do is 50 Shades of Greg where Greg Cody reads some of this content so that Chris Cody can feel the way I do when you play that sound of my father. Greg, what do you mean you're not going to read it? It's fifty Shades of Grey.

[Mike Ryan]

No, I'm not doing that.

[Stugotz]

I mean live. That's a lot of pressure.

[Greg Cody]

I also sent you a script via email that might be cleaner I saw.

[Mike Ryan]

It and it wasn't cleaner.

[Chris Cody]

Wait a minute. There, I've got in. You're refusing to do this?

[Mike Ryan]

You might have approached me about this off air.

[Greg Cody]

It is graphic. Like we edited live show.

[Chris Cody]

They didn't approach me on air about playing 50 Shades of Poppy. That's something they unleashed on me three minutes into the show.

[Greg Cody]

In my dad's defense, those were edited and bleeped where needed to be.

[Dan LeBatard]

We'll bleep butt plug again, don't worry.

[Mike Ryan]

Worse than butt plug in the things that I read.

[Papi]

Well, why don't you come up with an old timey word as a replacement so we can make this more appropriate.

[Chris Cody]

All right, so I'll do it next. Regardless. Nobody wants to do the show I want to do. Everybody wants to do their own show. We'll figure out who wins on Dan Patrick perhaps.

[Papi]

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[Greg Cody]

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