Chris Cote "Meekishly" Makes A Suggestion | Local Hour

Summary

The Dan Le Batard Show – Local Hour

Episode: Chris Cote "Meekishly" Makes A Suggestion
Date: July 10, 2026
Location: Live from the Elser Hotel, Downtown Miami

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Overview

This lively “Local Hour” from The Dan Le Batard Show offers the crew’s trademark blend of sports talk, South Florida flavor, and personal anecdotes. The episode features Dan Le Batard, Chris Cote, Mike Ryan, Dave Damaschek, Zach, and Jeremy, diving into the lingering LeBron James free agency saga, the peculiarities of hosting and adulting, pop culture asides, and the daily struggles of regular life—like navigating Uber rides and laundry disasters. The tone is loose, irreverent, and fast-paced, with plenty of playful ribbing and running jokes.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. LeBron James Free Agency: Miami, Cleveland, or…?

Timestamps: [02:10]; [24:33]; [25:21]; [36:52]; [43:36]

• The main running topic: LeBron’s possible team for next season. Miami vs. Cleveland is the consensus, with wildcards thrown in.
• Jeremy gives a heartfelt pitch for LeBron to return to Miami, mixing basketball logic and personal nostalgia:

  "You, Bam, Giannis. Yeah. It's a pretty good team." ([01:27])
  "I work on the Heat broadcast, so we would get to interact. This might not be a good… You know what? Maybe we shouldn't send this one to him." ([02:08])

• Chris Cote admits his faith is shaken:

  “I have felt … that LeBron was going to choose the Heat. … I think it’s going to be Cleveland now.” ([25:21])

• Credibility of supposed “insiders” — including the return of Caroline’s Cupcakes as a LeBron scoop source ([37:09]).
• Dave Damaschek ponders the “storybook ending” of going home versus the cold calculus of basketball fits:

  “If the goal were to add one more chapter, one more finals run…isn’t the Spurs the obvious answer?…Can he even get to the Finals with this Cavs team as constituted?” ([26:10])

• Discussion of where the announcement will happen—consensus is LeBron will reveal his decision on Rich Paul’s podcast.

  “I just feel like with all the Rich Paul stuff … he is going to be like, who do I want to give this win to? … He's trying to build that podcast.” ([27:33])

• Dan Le Batard quips about the Heat’s quiet approach in contrast to online “chatter.” ([44:59])

2. Draymond Green as LeBron's Travel Companion

Timestamps: [28:46]; [29:03]; [29:18]

• The crew speculates Draymond Green will follow LeBron wherever he lands, dismissing the notion that Draymond is recruiting LeBron to Golden State.
• Dan Le Batard:

  “Draymond is not leading here. Draymond is following.” ([29:04])

• Chris Cote:

  “You really think Draymond… is going to go sign somewhere for the minimum?” ([30:07])

  • Mike and Dan break down cap gymnastics required to make that happen, and why Draymond’s opt-out is a clear sign of intent.

3. Miami vs. Cleveland: The Lure of Home or the Heat Culture?

Timestamps: [35:56]; [36:52]; [45:53]

• The sentimental lure of Cleveland (his home, narrative arc) vs. the lifestyle, support system, and “Heat Culture” in Miami.
• Chris Cote:

  “If we look at lifestyle, golf, the guys he’d play with in Miami… The only thing that Cleveland has over Miami is the storybook ending.” ([35:56])

• Dan and Mike push back on the “Heat development” myth, arguing that other teams develop players too.

  “It also is pretty myopic to think that other teams don't.” ([45:13])

4. Parental Struggles: Laundry and the Art of Survival

Timestamps: [07:28]; [11:14]; [12:03]; [13:39]

• Chris Cote’s wife is in Israel; he spectacularly fails at household management, resulting in his son running out of clean clothes for camp.

  “Take those clothes, Throw them in the dryer. …That’s how you clean clothes.” ([12:26])

• Admission that this desperate “dryer trick” is not cleaning, just warming up dirty clothes.
• Mike Ryan:

  “Underwear is crazy.” ([14:53])

• Dave Damaschek advocates for apples and peaches to escape such problems:

  “Take the advice of Dickey Betts and the Allman Brothers and eat a peach.” ([15:06])

• The show lampoons fruit eating habits and adult thirst for OJ and apple juice:

  “My wife said she doesn't remember the last time an adult poured himself apple juice.” ([09:45])

5. Uber Etiquette: The “Meekish” Suggestion

Timestamps: [15:52]; [20:01]; [21:03]; [21:10]

• Zach shares his Uber dilemma: is it rude to suggest the express lane to a driver? He opts for “meekishly” suggesting it.
• Chris and the group debate whether passengers can/should direct drivers in the way cabbies are directed in NYC.
• Notable quote:

  “My move was the insecure move of … just very meekish, very meekishly suggest the express lane.” ([20:54])
  “You finished it with 'that would be fun to do.'” —Chris ([21:22])

6. Pop Culture and Local Flavor

• Frequent Miami references (bars, lifestyle, “heat culture”).
• Dan: “DJ Laz is playing Gulo in the back of my pitbull.” ([19:21])
• Curb Your Enthusiasm’s express-lane Dodgers episode, tangential links to real-life alibis ([22:49]-[24:10]).
• 90s nostalgia: stretch Hummers, the lost cachet of limos ([23:41]).

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

1. Laundry Panic

   • Chris Cote: “That’s how you clean clothes. And ... like, he’s frustrated, but he doesn’t have any other options at this point.” ([12:26])
   • Mike Ryan: “Underwear is insane.” ([14:53])
   • Dave Damaschek: “Snitches…they get hurt.” ([13:08])

2. Express Lane Anxiety

   • Zach: “Just very meekishly suggest the express lane… Oh, this would be fun to do.” ([21:14])

3. LeBron Reporting—Cupcakes Edition

   • Chris Cote: “Caroline’s Cupcakes…they essentially broke the story that LeBron is coming home. They did.” ([37:09])
   • Mike Ryan: “That is big J journalism.” ([30:01])

4. Sports Media Self-Mockery

   • Dan Le Batard: “Dan’s the GOAT of finding the worst possible take.” ([18:09])

5. The "Insider" Drama

   • Chris Cote: “I think it's going to be Cleveland now. ... Just, there's too much chatter right now online. It feels like it's Cleveland.” ([25:52])

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Notable Segments & Timestamps

• LeBron Free Agency, Jeremy’s Pitch  [01:27 – 04:37]
• Show Open & Visual Gags/Intros  [05:07 – 07:28]
• Chris Cote’s Domestic Disasters & Laundry Fiasco  [07:28 – 15:43]
• Fruit Rants: Juice vs. Whole Fruit  [09:45 – 15:41]
• Uber Express Lane Etiquette  [15:52 – 22:10]
• Curb Your Enthusiasm Dodgers Story  [22:49 – 24:10]
• LeBron/Draymond “Package Deal” Speculation  [28:46 – 31:02]
• LeBron-to-Cleveland Rumblings, Caroline’s Cupcakes, & Twitter "Tea Leaves"  [37:09 – 44:59]
• Debate: Heat Player Development Reputation  [45:13 – 45:53]

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Takeaways

• The LeBron James sweepstakes are still fluid, but Miami’s on-air optimism is fading in favor of “Cleveland momentum.”
• Even the most inside “insiders” are mocked—humor and skepticism reign supreme.
• Domestic chaos and awkward daily life moments remain reliable fodder for comedy.
• The show’s tone is affectionate, self-mocking, and keeps Miami at the narrative center—even when the news is bleak.

Final Word:
“This offseason has been a grand slam for the Miami Heat. We should be totally good with what this team has done and super pumped about acquiring Giannis.” —Chris Cote ([45:53])

Transcript

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[Jeremy]

Jeremy. Just trying to tell you about Miami Heat. I know, you know, you know a lot about Miami. It's been a while since you were here though. I mean, you know, you were like in your 20s. You know, you're 41 now. I act kind of 40. So I'm here to recommend, you know, the suburbs in Broward are really, you know, conducive for what I think you might be looking for, you know, and from a basketball perspective, like, you know, when you really think about it, you know, you Bam, Giannis. Yeah. It's pretty good team.

[Dave Damaschek]

Very good.

[Jeremy]

You don't get that reference, you know, when we talk basketball, like, look, I, you know, it's pretty simple. When Bam's on the floor every year of his career, you got a top six defense. And since Bam came in the league, when Giannis is on the floor, you got a top six offense. You know, you come in, you add to that, you could freelance on defense because you got a couple of guys back there, you don't really have to try because like everyone else tries so hard and you could, you know, ultimately save, you know, like Cleveland. Cleveland's got enough, you know, you already did the thing for them. So come back here and if you don't know, personally, I'd love to meet you because. Well, my. My wife met her when I was a freshman in college and you were still on the heat. I'm 31 now. That's a long time. And, you know, she wasn't a huge basketball fan, but she came to my dorm room to watch you play against the Pacers and tell me if I'm. Well, you can't tell me, but I'm being long winded. I know. And, yeah, she. She came over, watched the game with some friends, and then we were hanging out afterward, and, you know, we were laughing, and I was scrolling on. On Twitter. It was actually, you know, it was called. It was actually Twitter back then. And. And I was, you know, just scrolling and looking at stats and was very happy because you guys had won. And then I said I love you to my Ben girlfriend for what was actually the first time because I was so disarmed by everything, and she had made me laugh. And then she said, are you talking to me or LeBron? And now we're married. I should have probably mentioned at the top. I work on the Heat broadcast, so we would get to interact. This might not be a good. You know what? Maybe we shouldn't send this one to him.

[Chris Cote]

You are listening to the Dan Levatar show in partnership with the DraftKings sports app now live in all 50 states. Ah, yes. Good morning, everyone. Give it up for Friday. It's a Friday show. We did it, everyone. We made it to Friday in one piece. I don't know if this crew's worked together before. We got Chris, we got Jeremy, We. We got Mike Ryan. Dave Damaschek. Not out in L. A. In Pittsburgh. Hello, Dave.

[Dave Damaschek]

Hello. Hello. Yes. George Clooney. Summers in Lake Como. Damascia. Summers on the banks of the three rivers in heaven. The whole month of July. Oh, it's dynamite.

[Chris Cote]

All right, Dave, if I remember correctly, a couple of weeks ago, because I don't think we had a Friday show last week. Did we have a Friday show last week?

[Dave Damaschek]

No, we didn't.

[Chris Cote]

Yeah. So a couple of weeks ago, if I remember correctly, Dave was upset. Dave has been upset, Chris. You know what Dave Damaschek has been upset about?

[Zach]

I don't remember.

[Chris Cote]

So the new show open. We have several show opens.

[Zach]

Yeah.

[Chris Cote]

And the new show open that was created, Dave Damaschek is very upset that he is not in the show open, that he's not one of the cast members who. Who is announced, you know, in. In. In the open by Poppy.

[Dave Damaschek]

Well, I want to hear Poppy say my name. Is that so wrong?

[Chris Cote]

Well, I mean, you're in the open, though, Dave, and. And I have visual proof.

[Dan LeBatard]

You're.

[Chris Cote]

You're absolutely in the show open. All right, you're in the show open. Late in the intro. There you are. Look up, Dave. You're right there. That's you. That's.

[Dave Damaschek]

That's.

[Chris Cote]

That's you right there, Dave. You're in the open.

[Dave Damaschek]

Also, the animated or whatever, the. The illustrated version of me makes me look creepier than James woods in Ve. Well, it's really troubling the way am I. Am I perceived as a mustache guy? Because I don't think of myself as a mustache guy. I think of myself as hirsute, generally kind of swarthy looking. But I've been that picture when I saw it. Oh, that's how you see me. I'm like Tom Selleck.

[Chris Cote]

Well, who's you? Like, I. I didn't draw you guys. Oh, okay.

[Dave Damaschek]

Do you see me as a. Like, describe that guy. Like, oh, he's a mustache guy.

[Chris Cote]

I think you're. You're a beard guy, but in the. In the cartoon, you're. You have a beard. It's just the beard is lighter than your mustache, which I think is. Is factually correct.

[Dave Damaschek]

When are we going to address the elephant in the room that Dan LeBatard has the most bizarre reversal of exactly that? Very few people go dark beard, white mustache, you know, and now the beard is catching up with him, but that's a very rare occurrence.

[Chris Cote]

So that's the elephant in the room?

[Dave Damaschek]

I think so, Yeah. I think. I think, thankfully, we're finally talking about it.

[Chris Cote]

Guys, I. I'm in trouble, man. I'm in trouble. I got. I got a cop to this. I'm in trouble. My wife is going to be so mad at me. So my wife's in Israel right now. She's. She's been in Israel for over a week now, and she's coming back in a few days.

[Dan LeBatard]

Good time to go.

[Chris Cote]

And I mean, we could say that literally any in time. And so my wife is in Israel. It's her first time there. She'd never been. And so she's been there for over a week. And like, man, you know, the days, even the weeks leading up to her leaving, her big concern was, am I going to be able to. To, like, manage the house? You know, she's not going away for a weekend. That means that I got to. I got to be on top of everything. You know, I got to make sure I take care of the dogs. I have to make sure that my son, my younger one, gets to camp. I have to make sure that the lawn, that the towels get washed. And I said to my wife, I go, why do I gotta wash the towels? She's like, listen, I could smell your towel from the other side of the room. You gotta wash the towels. All right, fine. And then, you know, I gotta do the laundry. Gotta make sure everybody's got clothes. And so I almost knocked over my orange juice. Let me move this. And so I'd have been a disaster. And so I have to make sure choice.

[Dan LeBatard]

You don't see many hosts, like, just slamming the oj. That. That is.

[Chris Cote]

That, Dave. That is true. Do you. Do you run into many sports talk show hosts who. Their drink of choice. They have a cup of orange juice. I think it's a fair critique of me in this moment.

[Dave Damaschek]

I want you to jazz it up and go smoothie. If you're going to do it, do it all the way.

[Chris Cote]

You go, pulp, no pulp.

[Dan LeBatard]

I think that's some.

[Chris Cote]

I go some.

[Zach]

Oh, that's a weird move. Why is it commit or don't like it?

[Chris Cote]

Hold on a second. That's in this.

[Dave Damaschek]

It's.

[Zach]

It's.

[Chris Cote]

It's a type of orange juice. It's not like I'm pouring the OJ and I'm pulling out some of the pulp myself.

[Zach]

Draining it. Yeah.

[Chris Cote]

I'm not straining it myself. That's. That's the oj. You could buy it some pulp.

[Dave Damaschek]

Why is it that that Hoda Kotb and George Bush's daughter, they sit there and they drink wines. I don't know if they're still doing it at this in the same hour as we sit here having this conversation. I say we go wine, beer, or otherwise. How about you put. How about you at least put some champagne in that oj? The.

[Chris Cote]

The other day I poured myself. We have apple juice here in the fridge. And I poured myself some apple juice. And Jesse said she doesn't remember the last time an adult poured himself apple juice.

[Dave Damaschek]

Yeah, apple. Well, all very. It's a weird thing. Apples in their pure form are the best of all fruits. I think we can all agree on that. Now, the derivations of it, the juice, the sauce, the pie, all subpar. I don't indulge any of them because I so treasure the raw form.

[Chris Cote]

Apple has a strange host. Ever had an apple pie with him during the show?

[Dave Damaschek]

Hmm, that's a good question.

[Chris Cote]

Not sure.

[Dave Damaschek]

Yeah, no. Mel Kuiper has a Pumpkin pie on the air every day of his life. But I don't know about apple pie.

[Mike Ryan]

Look, apple juice. I'm not pouring myself any of the random brands, but if I can get a little glass of Martinelli's apple juice, I'm getting it 100% of the time.

[Zach]

Apple juice makes me poop. When I was a kid, if I was a little backed up, give me a big glass of apple juice.

[Chris Cote]

20 minutes later, Chris, have an issue. Pour him a glass of apple juice.

[Zach]

Mom, I can't poop. Here you go. Here's some apple juice.

[Dave Damaschek]

Let's see if he can make it to the end of the show after he drinks a gallon of apple juice.

[Dan LeBatard]

I like that idea.

[Chris Cote]

So. So that's the big thing. When my wife was leaving, I got to make sure I have all those things covered. I got to make sure I do the laundry. Okay, here's how you do the laundry. She left me a list. You know, you turn the knob to this, you do it for this long. And, you know, this is for this son's laundry, and this is this son's laundry.

[Zach]

I have to. I don't want to reveal too much here, but during our pre show, you know, discussion, you had to step away. And then.

[Chris Cote]

I'm getting to that.

[Zach]

We kind of. We kind of just overheard some bits and pieces. Like there was some sort of laundry issue.

[Chris Cote]

Yes, that. Like, this is not a. I'm not doing a bit here. Like, this happened 25 minutes ago.

[Dave Damaschek]

All right, you're taking calls from Tel Aviv on the state of the lawn.

[Chris Cote]

No, it wasn't my wife. It was my younger son. And so that's the big thing. I got to make sure the boys have clothes. And my. Because we've gone for over a week now, and my younger son called me. Like, he woke up, you know, an hour ago, and he's getting ready for camp. He's doing his whole thing. His older brother is going to drive him to camp in the morning like he's been for the last week. And he calls me. He goes, dad, I don't have any more clothes. So I don't have clothes for camp.

[Mike Ryan]

All I heard you say was, I don't know, 20 minutes.

[Chris Cote]

Yeah, well, that was what came from the other side. So here's what I told you. He doesn't have any clean clothes. He has no more clothes. And, like, he's upset. And what can I do about it? I'm here. And so I'm like, all right, go in your hamper. You know, the dirty hamper. Go in the hamper. Get your shorts, get your. Get underwear and get a shirt.

[Zach]

He doesn't have more than a week's worth of underwear.

[Chris Cote]

And weird. Well, all right. And so I said, take those clothes, Throw them in the dryer. All right. Throw them in the dryer is a

[Zach]

move in a panic.

[Chris Cote]

Run the dryer for 25 minutes. You're not leaving for 30 more minutes for camp. Run the dryer for 25 minutes. All right? And I told you, that's how you clean clothes. All right? They'll be clean. That's how you clean clothes. And. And like, he's frustrated, but he doesn't have any other options at this point. And so that's what he's going to do now. So. So my, my wife inevitably is going to find out. Let me tell you something. My boys, especially the younger one, snitches such snitches.

[Zach]

My daughter is too.

[Chris Cote]

And you know what happens is snitches. Right, Right.

[Dan LeBatard]

Yeah.

[Chris Cote]

They get hurt.

[Dan LeBatard]

They get hurt that.

[Chris Cote]

My boys are such snitches. So my younger one is definitely. He may have already text my wife at this point. They're seven hours ahead. They're in the future. So she's awake. Don't you tell you how time zones work? So she's awake. He may have already text her. I may have a nasty text message from Jerusalem right now waiting for me, but that I'm going to call her

[Dave Damaschek]

right now and see what the hell this, this voodoo you think is going to work. Putting clothes in a dryer.

[Chris Cote]

Yeah.

[Dave Damaschek]

Well, what, what now?

[Chris Cote]

I don't know. I feel like it just. It makes them warm and maybe it cleans a little bit. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I didn't have any other. I'm damach. I'm here. All right? Like, he's at home. I don't have any other. There's nothing else I can do. I had to come up with something inside out.

[Dave Damaschek]

That's usually the solution.

[Chris Cote]

The kids will definitely think that's cool. Here's the kid who wears his clothes inside out. That's wild with him.

[Mike Ryan]

It's a ridiculous suggestion.

[Chris Cote]

That's a good social move.

[Dave Damaschek]

Cachet. My suggestion. And by the way, I'm just talking about underpants. I'm not talking about the whole head to toe get. I'm just talking about so he doesn't slee stink too bad. Although I don't know that the inside out underpants trick really works. But it's better Than throwing them in the dryer. What's that gonna do?

[Zach]

Take some dryer sheets.

[Mike Ryan]

It'll help you with the smell. Potentially heat.

[Chris Cote]

Heat will kill germs.

[Dan LeBatard]

I don't.

[Chris Cote]

I guess he kills germs. You know, science.

[Dan LeBatard]

Yeah.

[Mike Ryan]

All right, I'll. I'll go with you on that one. I think my bigger thing is, like, I'm good with doing the old dryer trick for, like, damage act was sort of saying here, the clothes on the outside. If I got a T shirt, if I've got some shorts, whatever. If that's what needs to be done.

[Zach]

Underwear is crazy.

[Mike Ryan]

Then that's what needs to be done. Underwear is insane.

[Zach]

I'd go just. I'd freeball it before. I would, like, use some under.

[Chris Cote]

Maybe My wife's going to be mad, man. So I'm have to deal with that. And she's going, don't do.

[Dave Damaschek]

Listen. Get away from all this and take the advice of Dickey Betts and the Allman Brothers and eat a peach. Because I just advocated for apples. But if you have had a peach lately, you know what I'm talking about.

[Chris Cote]

Take a.

[Dave Damaschek]

Get yourself a nice yellow peach, chill it in the fridge for a half an hour, take it out, carve it up, take a bite or three when you get back from cloud nine, you can thank me then. Oh, the peaches do you.

[Dan LeBatard]

Gorgeous, right?

[Ad Read Voice]

Do you.

[Chris Cote]

Do you suck on the pit? Like, are you one of those who keeps the pit? No, no, no.

[Dave Damaschek]

I'm resentful of all fruits with a pit.

[Chris Cote]

But you know what I'm talking about. There are people who, like, they spend the rest of the day sucking on the pit.

[Dave Damaschek]

Weirdos.

[Chris Cote]

It's gross, right?

[Dan LeBatard]

Yeah, a lot about this. That's gross to me.

[Jeremy]

Yeah.

[Chris Cote]

Yeah. All right. Anyway, so that's what I'm dealing with this morning. Chris, you had your own situation this morning.

[Zach]

God. I'm dealing with car issues right now. My car took a shit yesterday, so I decided to Uber in today, and

[Chris Cote]

my wife's did it.

[Dave Damaschek]

Drink apple juice?

[Zach]

No, I did not know the car.

[Dan LeBatard]

Is everyone doing a routine today? What is going on?

[Chris Cote]

You're next. Get ready.

[Zach]

You don't have your type five.

[Mike Ryan]

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[Chris Cote]

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[Dan LeBatard]

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[Chris Cote]

Levitar DJ Laz is playing Gulo in

[Zach]

the back of my pitbull.

[Chris Cote]

Here's Dave Damaschek.

[Zach]

And he's like, hey, guys, Pittsburgh.

[Jeremy]

All right.

[Chris Cote]

Everybody's like, what is this guy? Dave Dem?

[Zach]

He goes, what? TV's the Penguins game on. Who the hell is this guy?

[Chris Cote]

This is the Dan Levatar show.

[Zach]

So I get into the Uber and It's like a 45 minute ride. If, like, on the good side, if traffic's bad, it could be over an hour. So I get.

[Chris Cote]

I hate, I hate Ubers, by the way. Like, I travel during football season, obviously with ESPN Radio, so I take Ubers a lot. It's the only time I ever take Uber. I hate Uber. I don't, I don't like. I don't like being in the backseat. I get, I get nauseous.

[Zach]

I have. And I have an etiquette question here. So now we're getting on the highway, and I know for, from experience that it is like a 20 minute quicker drive if you get in the express lane, if you sit in the regular lane, it is like a good 25.

[Chris Cote]

Oh, I think it's more than that.

[Dave Damaschek]

Right?

[Zach]

And so I am now dealing with the awkwardness of, do I say to this guy, hey, can you take the express lane? Or do I suggest it? Do I have the right as an Uber passenger to like, demand?

[Chris Cote]

See, that's interesting.

[Zach]

I have to offer to pay. Like, hey, I'll tip you, whatever the fee is.

[Chris Cote]

That's interesting to me because you see it like in movies and TV shows, right? Where if you're in a cab in New York, they're barking out orders to the cab driver what streets to take and what lane to be in and what highway to go. I'm like this crazy behavior. You, you, you tell the driver how to drive to the place you're going. I can't even imagine.

[Zach]

And my move was the insecure move of. What I'm going to do is just. Just very meekish. Very meekishly suggest the.

[Chris Cote]

How'd you do that?

[Mike Ryan]

Meekly.

[Zach]

Meekly, Whatever. I say meekishly. You know what I meant.

[Chris Cote]

Yeah, I totally know what you mean.

[Zach]

I'm going to meekishly suggest the express lane.

[Chris Cote]

How'd you do that?

[Zach]

I just said, hey, you know, oh, man, that express lane, it's like, so much quicker. Oh, this would be fun to do. And he's just like, oh, I'm going to.

[Chris Cote]

Hold on a second. You. You finished it with. That would be fun to do. To be fun.

[Zach]

I feel awkward about, like, I'm asking the question, do I have the right.

[Chris Cote]

So essentially you told the Uber driver, let's. You had an idea for how to make things fun.

[Zach]

I basically was just like, man, it's.

[Ad Read Voice]

It's just.

[Zach]

It's definitely quicker. It would be fun to do that. And he's just like, I'm just going to do it this way.

[Mike Ryan]

I just had this experience the other night, actually, where I was. I missed the train on the way home from the. Everyone is doing trainings.

[Zach]

Yeah.

[Mike Ryan]

And my wife. I mean, what, what, what my wife said when that happened. No, but when. When I went in that Uber because I now had to go all the way back to Fort Lauderdale. Same sort of deal. I could see how much traffic there was. I could see that the express lane was still open at this time.

[Zach]

They should know this. They drive more.

[Mike Ryan]

And I said nothing because I was of the assumption, like, well, this is going to cost him money. And what if he doesn't have a Sun Pass? What if he can't just go in this lane? Because it's not like there's tolls now. So I don't know what the. The ticket is. If you go in that lane and you're not supposed to, maybe he doesn't want to get pulled over. I don't really understand how any of that works. So I just sat there and said nothing and accepted my fate of it taking an extra half hour. And it was. It was frustrating because I, like, I looked at his ways and I looked at my ways that has the express lane built into it, and I literally saw the difference of 32 minutes. And instead I just sat there and I texted my wife and she said, what are you doing?

[Zach]

So that's why I was late.

[Chris Cote]

It reminds me, recently, I saw the episode of Curb youb Enthusiasm where Larry, he gets a hooker, he gets a prostitute so he could take the express lane to go to the Dodgers game. The hooker wanted to go to the game also, but he never ticket for her.

[Dave Damaschek]

So like he was just Sean Young. Sean Young is in a hooker. But you know, she, she gets around DC in. In no way out. A gem of a picture with Costner would use as who in that room there is most likely to pull the Costner Sean Young move of sliding up. It's not in an Uber. No, in a limo. Limos have gone the way of the dodo bird. The stretch limos. But back in the day, he raises up, he's like, hey, beat it, chauffeur driver. And he raises the window on him and then he makes his love on a real good, Real, real good. He puts a love on her. But Zach, have you ever done that? Or would you do that?

[Chris Cote]

I will, I will. I will agree. It feels like the stretch limo doesn't have the cachet anymore. Like for my bachelor.

[Dave Damaschek]

I don't think they exist.

[Chris Cote]

Like for my bachelor party, I had a stretch Hummer. Stretch Hummer's cool, right? It is, I think so. Stretch Homer's cool. I mean, you know, seemed cool to me.

[Mike Ryan]

You know that episode of Curb youb Enthusiasm that Dave brought up? Save someone from going to jail for murder?

[Chris Cote]

Oh, yeah, no, of course.

[Mike Ryan]

It's one of the great. It's one of the great stories for an extra who was accused of murder.

[Chris Cote]

He was going to go to prison. He was going to be found guilty

[Mike Ryan]

for killing a 16 year old girl.

[Chris Cote]

Yep.

[Mike Ryan]

And then they ended up discovering that that episode was being filmed at the Dodgers game that he was at. And they could find him in the background.

[Chris Cote]

Yeah, like he wasn't an extra. He was legitimately at the Dodgers game. That was his alibi. And they found him in the background of one of the scenes and he got off.

[Zach]

I'm just picturing his attorney like a week before the trial, just like watching Curb.

[Chris Cote]

Yeah, he's just like, oh, shit. Right? Amazing. Right? Amazing. So I will tell you something. It's not going to be amazing. You know, I have been. I've been pretty dug in on LeBron and he's going. He's going to choose Miami, that he's coming here. I have felt that pretty much the whole. For a couple of weeks now, but really, like at the beginning of this process, I started to connect the dots and it really felt to me like I know the Heat have prepared the Heat have behaved like a team who believes they have a real shot at LeBron. That's for sure. And. And I felt that LeBron was going to Chose the Heat. It seemed like that for me, and I've been pretty steadfast on that up until yesterday. And I think it's going to be Cleveland now. I think he's going to choose Cleveland.

[Mike Ryan]

What changed?

[Chris Cote]

I'm so tired of people even talking about, like, even credible people on television. You know, talking Philadelphia and even Golden State. I mean, some people are still mentioning Minnesota. Like, get. Like, get the hell out of here. Like, you really think we're going to. We're going to get a. We're going to get a notification one of these days. LeBron is joining the Wolves. Like, what are you talking about? It's either Miami or Cleveland. That's it. Those are the only two options.

[Zach]

Are we playing predict LeBron predictions? Because I got one. Your prediction that he's going to Cleveland.

[Chris Cote]

Well, I. I think. Yeah, I think it's Cleveland now. And what changed? It just. There's too much chatter right now online. It feels like it's Cleveland. It feels like they're preparing. It feels like we're in a spot that all the momentum has shifted in Cleveland's direction.

[Dave Damaschek]

I definitely agree with you on that one. The sports guy is saying that he's probably pretty plugged in if he is saying it as definitively as he is the thing that has not been the discussion. If the goal is for the ultimate mercenary. And that's kind of how LeBron has positioned himself, I guess. Prodigal son. Back to Cleveland. One last act up. There kind of is a nice sentimental storyline. But if the goal were to add one more chapter, one more finals run, one more title, isn't the spurs the obvious answer? I have barely heard that team mentioned. If that were the goal, that's where you go. Can he rightly, and I defer to you guys on this. Can he win a title? Can he even get to the Finals with this Cavs team as constituted?

[Chris Cote]

Well, yeah, you're correct. Like, if we're going to do that, what's the best place for him to go if he wants to win a championship? It's San Antonio or Oklahoma City. I think that's the best place.

[Dan LeBatard]

Don't you think that that would be a conversation if Pop were healthy and were still active and held in the regard that he did during the prime of his career? Because I. Because I think, like, San Antonio is a very random place for LeBron to end his career, but alongside Pop and all the respect that there is there, I think that it probably be a news item. Whereas now they have a head coach that literally Threw up on his jersey, in. On his sweater during the NBA Finals and became a punchline.

[Zach]

All right, my LeBron prediction is he will reveal where he's going on Rich

[Chris Cote]

Paul's podcast in person.

[Zach]

However, it will be through that platform. Whether it's a video he does, whether they bring him on with Rich Paul. Maybe Max. Maybe Max plays the Jim Gray rule. I just. I just feel like with all the Rich Paul stuff, will it be live? I just feel like they. Like, he is going to be like, who want do I want to give this win to? It's not going to be Shams. It's not going to be Sports Illustrated like it was. It's gonna. I just feel like in this day and age, he's trying to build that podcast.

[Chris Cote]

Yes, it is interesting. Like, every time he's been a free agent, it's been a completely different way that he's announced it. In 2010, he did the decision, took meetings, and did the decision. In 2014, it was the COVID of Sports Illustrated. Lee Jenkins released a story in 2018. You just got it on the crawl. And we knew the whole year he was going to leave and go to the Lakers, but it just said on the crawl One day, LeBron is signing with the Los Angeles Lakers, and now we've got nothing. All we have is, I'm not taking any meetings. Rich Paul, go, go gather as much information as possible. And at some point here, he's going to announce where he's going.

[Zach]

Another one I have that is maybe not as you know, this one's more like, you can see it coming. Draymond's going wherever he goes. Like, they're golfing right now in Puerto Rico. I think wherever LeBron signs, Draymond's going to be tagged along with him.

[Dan LeBatard]

Yeah, I think people are looking at it the wrong way. People think that Draymond's there.

[Chris Cote]

Oh, he's not going to come here.

[Dan LeBatard]

Well, people are looking at it like Draymond's there to recruit LeBron to the warriors, and that may be a part of this, but Draymond is not leading here. Draymond is following.

[Zach]

It's a. Where are we going? They're probably in Puerto Rico. Like, let's go to Puerto Rico. Let's play golf. We'll talk about it.

[Chris Cote]

That is so corny.

[Dan LeBatard]

I'm glad that you mentioned that, because. Allow me to follow up on an investigation that we had yesterday where we were 100% right. We reported with 100% certainty LeBron was either in Florida or the Caribbean Now, I was also 75% sure because of the plant life around that it was Florida, because, you know, Puerto Rico would be an odd place. And we did track that plane from Akron to West Palm. Now we know where LeBron was yesterday. My report was on information from two days ago, so I may have been right. But one thing that I was 100% right about was the Royal Poinciana and where it grows, either Florida or the Caribbean. That's another incredible job reporting by this show.

[Mike Ryan]

That's journalism.

[Dan LeBatard]

That is big J journalism. But, yeah, I think Draymond goes wherever LeBron goes.

[Chris Cote]

So. So then. So then he's out as far as Miami. Like, he doesn't signing Draymond.

[Dan LeBatard]

Why. Why are you. No, he will sign whoever LeBron tells them to sign.

[Chris Cote]

You, you really think Draymond, who just opted out at $27 million, you think Traymond's going to go sign somewhere for the minimum?

[Dan LeBatard]

I think Draymond will follow LeBron James.

[Zach]

That to your point, he might not sign here because of that, because we can't pay him.

[Chris Cote]

But, like, I would. Yeah, I would say, do you think

[Mike Ryan]

that the difference, legitimately the difference for LeBron would be you have to be able to acquire Draymond for 20 something million dollars or I won't go there. Because, by the way, if that's the case, like, that would require Cleveland completely and utterly blowing up their entire roster.

[Zach]

I was kind of assuming at this point that Draymond would take a little less to play.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah, maybe.

[Dan LeBatard]

OK, maybe 15. Draymond opting out means he's taking less. No one in the right mind is paying Draymond what he was going to opt into.

[Mike Ryan]

Right.

[Chris Cote]

But didn't we think less meant, like, instead of 27 million, he'll take 15.

[Dan LeBatard]

But the only. The only team that can pay him close to that kind of money would presently be Golden State, and that's without LeBron on their books. Like, LeBron on the books means Draymond takes significantly less money in Golden State. So him opting out, to me was a pretty clear sign that his. His primary priority is linking up with LeBron. And wherever he goes, and he hopes that it's Golden State, probably can make a little bit more money in Golden State, but wherever he goes, the teams that we're talking about, they barely have space for LeBron. Some have to. Most have to maneuver to get LeBron James on their roster. I think pretty much all of them do. Draymond's on the priority there. Draymond's. They're going to have to do some huge gymnastics if it Draymond on the book. Tony, you know that moment at a party or at a tailgate where everything just sort of clicks?

[Dave Damaschek]

I know it well.

[Mike Ryan]

It's usually when I show up, everybody goes crazy.

[Dan LeBatard]

Yeah. You usually take all the credit for it, but it's because Tony usually walks in with Cuervo.

[Chris Cote]

Walk in like this.

[Dan LeBatard]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cuervo is a thing that turns hanging out into this is the night. It has that effect on people. It does. You usually take the credit for it. But again, it's the Cuervo effect. It's like that moment in a big game where everyone in the crowd just starts standing up, hooting and hollering.

[Chris Cote]

Keep it Cuervo.

[Dave Damaschek]

Keep it Cuervo, baby.

[Mike Ryan]

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[Dave Damaschek]

That's his team.

[Chris Cote]

His team's at the forefront of all that. Don't steal my thunder. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Sorry. Jonathan Saslow. I get carried away. This is the Dan Levatar Show. Well, I'm just curious, what do you

[Dave Damaschek]

perceive to be LeBron's priority here? Is it getting a title? Is it rounding out his career and making one last statement, putting an exclamation point at the end of it? One narrative that would be fun to play into that probably is out the window because of the mess that Pablo Turre has covered is the Clippers. If he likes the lifestyle, which he clearly does in Los Angeles and he wants to kind of stick it to the Lakers on some level because they embarrassed him, perhaps, wouldn't the Clippers with Kawhi be about as good a situation as he can find at this point? Unless. What's better for LeBron? LeBron with. With Giannis in Miami. I. In a way, I kind of think lifestyle and otherwise. If you want to stay in la, because I think what you said zaz a second or so ago, San Antonio seems random. I think that's the. The place LeBron has now found himself in is this weird, severe mercenary role where highest bidder, best chance for me to win and all that kind of stuff. And it has a weird vibe to it at this point. It's a little like Kawhi Leonard, as a matter of fact.

[Chris Cote]

Yeah, that's why it's always been obviously, to me, either Cleveland or Miami. But if we're talking about, you know, what the options here, I think the only thing that Cleveland has over Miami is the storybook ending. That's. And look, you know, is this is. That's his home. The storybook ending. If we. If we look at everything else, we look at lifestyle, golf, that, like, he loves golf. Now, that's a. I don't play golf. But apparently people who get that golf bug, it's like a real thing. And certainly Miami, I'm. I'm not 100 sure. But I think Miami has better golf than Cleveland does. So you got that. You got the style of play in Miami. You got the guys who he's going to play next to. Bam and Giannis, the way that LeBron fits. You got the coach who's maybe the best coach in the league, who he knows he could trust. You're familiar with everyone in the franchise. The only thing. I mean, tell me if I'm wrong, Mike. The only thing that I see Cleveland having over Miami in this spot to attract LeBron is that it's his home.

[Dan LeBatard]

That's a big thing. And conquering hero returning home. He's already done the return back, and he knows how that goes. What's the cupcake shop saying?

[Chris Cote]

Okay, so I like, this is stupid, right? But it's a real thing. So when LeBron. And you could help, you know, trigger my memory, if you guys remember it differently than I do. But in the days leading up to LeBron leaving Miami, there was an account on Twitter from a cupcake shop called Caroline's Cupcakes. It's based in Canton, Ohio. And weirdly enough, they essentially broke the story that LeBron is coming home. They did. It's a real thing. And they're looking to get into the breaking news story again. And ESPN Cleveland retweeted this. Caroline's Cupcakes. And this is from Instagram, I believe. Caroline's Cupcakes. And this would lend credence to what Mike Ryan just said they tweeted out yesterday. I've got it on good authority that not only is LeBron coming back to Cleveland, but he's bringing Draymond with him. If you don't believe me, you can Google Caroline's Cupcakes Plus LeBron and check out my credentials. This is not my first rodeo. And that's true. It's. It's a stupid, weird thing.

[Zach]

You got to let the people find out. Your credibility, though, like, saying you have the credibility. Credibility in the tweet is. I don't like that move.

[Chris Cote]

Well, nonetheless, I'm not the only one who remembers this. Right? You remember this cupcake shop, and they broke the story last time, and Mike just told us here, Draymond is definitely. Now, that's just, you know, speculation, but Draymond is definitely going with LeBron, and that's what that account has said. So take that for what you will. But I told you yesterday, it really seemed like a groundswell of momentum that was leaning toward LeBron. But I want to take you back to this, okay? I want to Take you back to you. Remember this year, Remember this NBA season when LeBron got himself in hot water with Mempan. He hates Memphis. All right? The. The, the. The me. The city of Memphis should lose the Grizzlies. They should move the Grizzlies to Nashville. And then LeBron had to defend these statements where. Give this a listen. He also mentioned other places he doesn't like playing. How people have taken those comments. People been upset about the fact that Memphis was looked at as a team that, you know, Bob let people in Memphis.

[Dave Damaschek]

Right.

[Jeremy]

Compared to like Nashville, for example.

[Chris Cote]

So people. I say I don't like black people. No, you didn't say that. But there were people who were wondering why Memphis was targeted. Like Milwaukee was too.

[Mike Ryan]

They missed that one too.

[Chris Cote]

They didn't see that. Not as much commentary. Milwaukee as well.

[Mike Ryan]

41 years old.

[Chris Cote]

It's two cities I do not like

[Dave Damaschek]

playing in right now.

[Chris Cote]

That's Milwaukee and that's men. What is the problem? I don't like going home either.

[Dave Damaschek]

And I'm from there.

[Chris Cote]

What is People. People are ridiculous. They also get mad at my son being on the team too. I don't want to get into the whole Memphis thing again. Why did they say Milwaukee? LeBron, you didn't say the Bucks should leave Milwaukee. Okay? It's completely different from what you said about Memphis. You said they should lose their team anyway. I don't want to get bogged down in that. But he did say there. I don't like going back home either. So I don't know. Like, do we care?

[Dan LeBatard]

They also get mad at my son being on the team. And that's solely based on merit.

[Mike Ryan]

He was actually a kind of decent role player for them.

[Chris Cote]

So look at you.

[Mike Ryan]

And he will be here in Miami as well, developing on A two.

[Dave Damaschek]

Well, that's. That's. We. We talk about the factors legitimately. I feel like LeBron understands that if. That the best thing for Bronnie would be for Bronnie to make the Lakers on his own merit. Right. I mean that like to drag. To attempt to drag Bronnie at his next destination doesn't do the kid any favors.

[Chris Cote]

If we're being honest here. I don't think Bronnie would want to leave the Lakers and go with LeBron.

[Dave Damaschek]

I agree. That's what I'm saying. I think the best thing for him is to make the team, which he really might with the Lakers, given their need on the wing he. He might earn. He's not going to be a legitimate, real good NBA player. But for this season of the Lakers, he kind of fits what they need.

[Chris Cote]

He's been in the NBA for two years now. Bronny, forget about whether it's on his own merit and whether he actually deserves to be an NBA. He's not an NBA player. But anyway, he's been in the NBA for two years. Being in the NBA is cool as hell. When you're young, you got a lot of money, you get to travel places, you get to go to clubs. He's probably gonna be 21, suit. He'll get to go to the bars and do that kind of deal. And the entire time you're with your dad, you, like, you maybe just want to hang out with your friends on the team, but, like, your dad is everywhere.

[Dave Damaschek]

What's that like? Chris?

[Zach]

It's great.

[Chris Cote]

Like, wouldn't you want to just be a fun NBA player and not be around your father all the time? I don't think he would want. But that's a weird conversation, right? Because when LeBron tells him, hey, I'm going to Miami, we're gonna trade for you, is Bronnie like, I don't know, man. I kind of like it here. Like, what I want. How does that conversation possibly go down, Dave? How does Bronnie get to tell LeBron? I don't think so, Pop. Like, I'm. I'm happy.

[Dave Damaschek]

Great news, Brownie. I signed the deal. We're on our way back to Northeast Ohio. That I think I'm going to hang back here. Like, what are you talking about, man? Like, what? What? Whatever. He is 23 years old. What kid would rather live in Cleveland than Los Angeles? Come on. There's also, and as you say, the idea of, like, after hours after the game is over and you're in a foreign town, like, all the friends, not friends, make new friends is what I'm getting at. More. It's going to probably be hard to make new friends when your dad is there with you.

[Mike Ryan]

There's a whole bunch of different stuff, though, where, if you want to read into the different tea leaves of what's happening, there's recruitments, there's all sorts of stuff. But the Cleveland Cavaliers went and tweeted a random thread yesterday, and everyone's doing content in the offseason. Like, I understand you have different things that you got to do, but. But I believe we might have those available to show the audience. But I'll just read what this Twitter thread says. It's from at Cavs. And so it starts with a slide. The tweet Says, did you say the same thing as us? Hashtag, let them know that's their, Their, their little hashtag. And it says, if you say the same thing, you're out. Swipe to play. So the following.

[Chris Cote]

Is this like a new social media game or are they just doing this on their own?

[Mike Ryan]

I haven't seen it. Seems like something they do on their own. Maybe I'm, I'm behind on the trend. But the first slide says, name a former number one overall pick.

[Chris Cote]

Yeah.

[Mike Ryan]

So when I think of a former number one overall pick for the Cavs, obviously Anthony Bennett. Oh, I think of LeBron James. They replied with Austin Carr.

[Jeremy]

Interesting.

[Mike Ryan]

Then they said, name a player from the 2016 championship team. Mainly I, I think of LeBron James.

[Dave Damaschek]

Okay.

[Mike Ryan]

They went with Iman Shumpert. And then they replied with just one more thing. Name a current cavalier. And they went with Jalen Tyson. But.

[Chris Cote]

And for all of them, they, they put under the caption, you're out. Like, those are wrong answers.

[Zach]

Right.

[Mike Ryan]

And so what I found to be very interesting Here is the three things they chose. Former number one overall pick.

[Chris Cote]

Yeah.

[Mike Ryan]

Guy who was on the 2016 championship team.

[Chris Cote]

Yeah.

[Mike Ryan]

Now a current cavalier. And I saw Cleveland. Twitter was going nuts when this happened. Oh, my God, it's happening. It's happening now. This is why they're doing this.

[Chris Cote]

This is why it feels like it is.

[Mike Ryan]

And then nothing happened. I'm also wondering, like, you have all these different things that are going on. Steph Curry also made a pitch. Jaylen Brown also sort of made a pitch. They were both kind of strange. The only ones being silent are right here that are involved in the conversation.

[Chris Cote]

Yeah, but that's part of the course.

[Mike Ryan]

That's par for the course on what happens here in Miami. Like, it's just how it goes.

[Dan LeBatard]

If I may offer up a diluter to one of the main sales pitches we always mention with Miami. I am not denying that they have a proud, tried, and true history of developing talent, but it also is pretty myopic to think that other teams don't.

[Mike Ryan]

They don't like this.

[Dan LeBatard]

Sam Merrill's one of the best shooters in the NBA. Dean Wade has become a big time. You just mentioned Tyson. Like, Cleveland's got guys that they've developed into big time contributors, too. I understand. We have our Miami prism and we have the Tyler Johnson examples and the Max Stru examples.

[Mike Ryan]

Gabe Vincent.

[Dan LeBatard]

Yeah, we have. Yeah.

[Mike Ryan]

And Robinson.

[Chris Cote]

No, we're doing. Just going to list all the guys.

[Dan LeBatard]

Yeah. But you're. You're taking a 10 year data point. Right? And I'm just saying, like very recently, Cleveland can make the same pitch. Like the Lakers can point to us and Reeves and say, look, look at what we did. He wasn't expected to be that. So I think that you're probably overhyping what a selling point that is.

[Chris Cote]

I do just want to, I do just want to make sure that I mention again, if they don't get LeBron and I've kind of switched, I don't think they're going to get him anymore. I think it's going to be Cleveland. We shouldn't be disappointed. This offseason has been a grand slam off season for the Miami Heat. Like we should be totally good with what this team has done and super pumped about acquiring Giannis.

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