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Papa
Three, two, one.
Juju
Hello, Papa.
Papa
I came as soon as I heard the charcuterie board was out and the Crostinian fig jam was laid for your boy.
Juju
Oh, Papa.
Papa
Right there on the ear. Yes. Thank you. What are some of the finest cheeses this jump has? I saw we laid out the finger foods for the the pores. Yes, yes. You and I are different. You and I dine on the finest of pates. Who's that old guy? He smells like another dog.
Dan
So Dan said that Zaz should take the cuck lane. And that inspired a song for me.
Jeremy
He is a bonded man living in his old mansion. But he's upset with his house cause his couch is still and as deep as a can. So it's tablet time. No doubt laments is brand new reputation. As he eats. Tofu wants people to stop sending pictures of hotel rooms. And then his wife met Billy Crystal. He was in his bed. She said honey, why don't we you go sit in that chair. Laugh in the cock lane. Sas watches from the sidelines. Laugh in the cock lane.
Juju
Cut.
Papa
Catchy little diddy. Now remember, for charcuterie tosay we adhere to the 333 rule. These are the rules in place for your traditional balance board. Three meats, three cheeses, three accompaniments and three starches. Your classic rusted assorted crackers. Yes, rustic crackers.
Dan
Bring juju aboard. Juju, how you doing today? Good to see you.
Juju
Good.
Dan
Juju. Can you as a Celtics fan admit that your team is so dull to watch?
Juju
Yes. I can also admit that this loss will not matter on judgment day. So we can start there. But at the same time, everything I've said about the Celtics all year, it has come to pass. And the Buffalo Bills might not happen. Neither here nor there. It's just that their in game adjustments are ass. They're non existent brothers. We don't have it tonight. Maybe let's drive in and get some of those files that they're calling and they just don't do that. So it's. I can definitely feel you and. And agree with you saying that. That they are a frustrating team to watch, bruh.
Papa
This feels so good, Papa. How was work? Did you chew on important issues?
Dan
Are you wearing a Horace Grant jersey?
Juju
Yes, sir. Man. Still. Still got it going on.
Dan
Wow, look at that. A Horace Grant Orlando Magic jersey. Good call.
Juju
Yeah, I had it since I was a baby boy. You did? And my last name is Grant. So a little juju. Help me out.
Dan
A little juju wearing it.
Juju
There you go.
Papa
At what time today do we do the infrared masks?
Dan
Juju, you got a burn of the day for us today.
Juju
Yes, sir. Man. We all know that the Oklahoma City Thunder swept the sun out of here, bro. And Shay Gilders Alexander took to IG and said this. Everybody wants to be a villain until the brooms come out and the dust settles and you realize who the villain is. And he said that under a picture of Dylan Brooks with on the back of his jersey it said Cancun on and his number three.
Papa
So good.
Juju
Perfect troll job.
Papa
It smells like corned beef hash over here.
Dan
Do you think Cancun likes, you know, being the. The place apparently that everyone goes to when their season ends? Like they must know that we always get referenced. Apparently all the players come to us, take a leak.
Juju
I don't know.
Papa
It's weird.
Juju
It doesn't help the resorts at all.
Papa
Nice little pee before cold plunge and aromatherapy. Oh, yes, papa.
Juju
So today I got some. Some post show awards today for the. For the crew. Man like, Bruh, y' all boys been firing on all cylinders today. So I first want to give the we owe you an apology award to Greg Cody for that more three pointers than two pointer situation.
Papa
Good job, Greg.
Juju
Thank you.
Dan
Good, Addy.
Juju
Thank you very much.
Papa
Clapping is distracting me. Am I a good.
Juju
I also want to give the courage award, the Purple Heart award to our good brother Mike Ryan fighting through shingles. Oh my goodness gracious alive. Yep.
Papa
He looks very handsome. No one can notice.
Juju
And I would. Lastly, I'd like to give the Hypocrite award to our good brother, Dan lebatar. You know what I'm talking about. Great, Cody. Yeah, I do. Thank you.
Papa
Congratulations.
Juju
Wow.
Dan
All right, let's get some polls for today, Juju.
Juju
Yes, sir.
Papa
Man.
Juju
Scrambling for these polls while I. While I pull them up. Did you see what Paige had to say, you know what I mean, about her relationship with az? It wasn't hard. That was easy. Dallas Wings organization let the Players speak and they'll give their answers.
Jeremy
We.
Juju
We have to. As a WNBA fan, I've realized that I'm guilty of this as well. We have to stop treating the WNBA like a movement. It's a business. It once was a movement, but now we. We got business things to handle. So we got to understand that from the top, bottom, and let these players be professional. They got it. Neither here nor there.
Papa
No cheer. It's junk in my ass. I
Juju
junk a good name for a pitcher. 73% of the audience says, yes, it is.
Papa
I'm allergic to cashew Bubba.
Juju
Can you call it a mansion if you can't afford a couch? Ouch. 88% of the audience says, no, you can't Zaz
Papa
like nut milk. Not allergic. Just don't like how it sounds. It's suggestive. Icky.
Juju
Are leather couches uncomfortable? 66% of the audience says, yes, they are.
Papa
Strange thing about me that I should just volunteer here is I'm slightly homophobic. Now, my papa does have to correct me and tell me that's inappropriate, but you cannot teach an old dog new tricks. I am all right. I'm not even slightly homophobic. I am all the way. Do you.
Juju
Do you think of the junk drawer as a positive place? 57% of the audience says, yes, they do. Is there any other type of appendectomy than an emergency?
Papa
I see one and I start barking. All right.
Juju
86% of the audience says, no, there is not. Do you know what an appendix does?
Papa
And yes, I can tell.
Juju
76% of the audience says, no, they don't. Salute to the audience. Keeping it real. Should NASCARs have air conditioning? 84% of the audience says, yes, they should. Do you use scissors every day? What in the hell, Dan? 78 of the audience says, no, they don't. Is the tilapia a dirty fish? 72% of the audience says, yes, it is. Have you seen change in the last six years? I've seen it in the White House.
Dan
Nice.
Juju
84% of the audience says, yes, they have.
Papa
Right there. Yes. Papa. Who's the cock over there?
Juju
You know what's last poll? You know what's interesting about tumors? 79 of the audience says no. And those are your bows.
Papa
Where are the goji berries?
Narrator
Thanks, Juju. Good stuff.
Juju
Thank y'. All. Good cut songs, Jeremy.
Jeremy
Thank you.
Podcast: The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Date: April 29, 2026
Hosts: Dan Le Batard, Stugotz
Featured Guest: JuJu Gotti
Location: The Elser Hotel, Downtown Miami
In this playful and freewheeling postgame episode, Dan, Stugotz, and their crew—joined by JuJu Gotti—unpack the day's sports news, share quirky personal stories, riff on pop culture, and run through audience polls. The show delivers its trademark comedic banter, random tangents, and group chemistry, this time featuring charcuterie debates, sports roasts, and post-show awards—plus a tongue-in-cheek reference to "Dan's dog being homophobic."
The episode is delivered with fast-paced, rapid-fire jokes, affectionate ribbing, and a constant lacing of sarcasm and whimsy—a hallmark of the Le Batard Show. The panel’s banter is both absurd and rooted in sports reality, seamlessly jumping from NBA roasts to deeply unserious poll results. JuJu Gotti’s playful energy and offbeat music contributions (like the cock lane song at 01:36) mesh well with the group’s improvisational style.
Note: All references to “homophobic dog” are made in satirical, self-aware jest and not intended to be taken as literally offensive.
This episode is quintessential Le Batard Show: rambling, joyous, irreverent, and occasionally insightful. The crew covers locker-room sports jokes, spotlights JuJu’s dry wit, and brings their audience into the fun with offbeat polls and in-jokes. If you crave a sports podcast that doesn’t take itself seriously and spotlights absurdity, this one’s for you.