Juju (LeBatard Show Analyst) (2:31)

Yeah, I think that's unfair. I think that Might be under the HIPAA violations. I think we supposed to cheer Roy on for being brave. Brave enough to show us what's in his head.

Dan Le Batard (LeBatard Show Host) (2:45)

Thank you, Roy. Appreciate that Juju. Always giving off positivity even when it is not merited in any way whatsoever. I deserve it. I don't feel like you do in this instance. You had some bravery, but you had a dir ear than anyone expected. After surprisingly, Zaz had a totally clean one.

Chris 'C' (LeBatard Show Host) (3:04)

Yeah, well, you introduced pitchcock a couple minutes ago, so there's that.

Dan Le Batard (LeBatard Show Host) (3:07)

Not the first time I have done that.

Chris 'C' (LeBatard Show Host) (3:10)

One of our favorite bits actually, before

Dan Le Batard (LeBatard Show Host) (3:12)

we get to the polls here. What do we have on the Sixers? I know that you've been following them because they are challenging your Boston Celtics. I don't know what your opinions are on Joel Embiid.

Juju (LeBatard Show Analyst) (3:25)

Yeah, I. I mean I think I want to go out on a limb and of course I have Celtics fandom, but I call myself an NBA analyst. So what I'm seeing from the Sixers right now, bruh, if Joel Embiid can give you 29 minutes like the other night, cuz that was the most impressive stat to me. He got you the points, he got you the rebounds. He got you 29 minutes of him the other night and that changes the entire East. I think that him being back and healthy, it opens vj, it opens. Maxi Grimes is so aggressive. Thursday, Thunder lock him in. He's so aggressive. PG 13. That entire team takes on a different Persona with him on the court. And I want to go out on a limb and say, bro, he might act, he might put them in the championship conversation. Because look at that east right now. No matter what, you got to remember in the Eastern Conference finals, there are going to be Raptors or there are going to be Magic or Pistons, but that's a piece of cake. So look out for them damn Sixers, man. They gonna make some noise or Cavs.

Dan Le Batard (LeBatard Show Host) (4:36)

That limit. That limb is flimsy. You're go, you're go. You're. You're out there by yourself on that limb. There ain't nobody with you there, right,

Juju (LeBatard Show Analyst) (4:45)

Bro, look at Joel Embiid, bro. They. He also the first half they made him in game adjustment. I think he was like, oh, for four from three in the first half. That's what people want you to do, Joel, you second half, he didn't shoot no threes. All paint work. And that's the most dangerous version of him. And he. His. His clock is not. Father Time is around the cone on his ass, basically. So he Got to do it right now.

Chris 'C' (LeBatard Show Host) (5:10)

Based off what was going on earlier in the show, Juju, I do have a quick top five things that are more ridiculous to be afraid of than Q tips. Oh, man. So number five, dei number four, trans people. Number three, female empowerment. Number two, intimacy. And number one, commitment.

Dan Le Batard (LeBatard Show Host) (5:38)

Put it on the poll. Juju at Lebatard show is Father Time indeed around the corner on Joel embiId's ass at LeBatard show? Because I don't think it is yet.

Chris 'C' (LeBatard Show Host) (5:50)

I think, is he fast? Is Father Time fast?

Dan Le Batard (LeBatard Show Host) (5:52)

I don't. I don't think of Father Time. I think so.

Chris 'C' (LeBatard Show Host) (5:56)

It takes him a while to get there. You know what I mean? Like, you're got a couple of years, and all of a sudden it's like, oh, he's here. But it's like, well, was he running fast or was he running slow the whole time?

Dan Le Batard (LeBatard Show Host) (6:05)

I don't think. I didn't feel like Father Time was the one chasing Joel Embiid. I thought it was just general medical status. I don't think we done. How old is he? He's not that old, right? It just feels like it's 22.

Juju (LeBatard Show Analyst) (6:19)

He's 19 years old.

Dan Le Batard (LeBatard Show Host) (6:21)

Jason Tatum at LeBatard show is how you vote on the polls. Can we have a joker of the day? Do you have one of those for us today?

Juju (LeBatard Show Analyst) (6:28)

O. I'm not sure how you know, the Internet. You be seeing something. I'm like, I. I don't believe it, but I've done saw this enough. Boston magazine, bruh. They put on the COVID of the 150 most influential Bostonians of 2026, Mike Vrabel and Drake May. Bruh, y' all could have edited that photo through Missoula or somebody on the COVID or just Drake May. I don't know, but y' all are some jokers for that one.

Chris 'C' (LeBatard Show Host) (6:57)

Yeah. Could have been literally anybody else.

Dan Le Batard (LeBatard Show Host) (6:59)

At Lebitard show is where you vote on the polls. What do we have in the way of updates today? It felt like we had a lot of them today. I also think you should put on the poll. Do you know it's a good show when you have a lot of polls? Because I do feel pretty generally that there is a correlation here with between how good the show is and how many polls we had. It felt like we had a lot today. Did we have a lot, or did we just have one or two?

Juju (LeBatard Show Analyst) (7:23)

Yeah, we had a lot, bro. Maybe like a billion. So I'm gonna go straight into them, and it's. The first one is a Doozy. Which is worse to do in public? Use a Q tip, put lotion on or floss? 68 of the audience says floss.

Chris 'C' (LeBatard Show Host) (7:42)

Objection, your honor. Was not floss. Floss stick.

Juju (LeBatard Show Analyst) (7:47)

Hey, us. Hey, we got different poles to get to. Hold your horses, my brother. Are you afraid of Q tips? 80% of the audience says no, they are not. Zaz. Wow. I'm afraid. Breathe and stop. Do you think Stafford. Do you think of Stafford as a lion or as a ram? 62% of the audience says lions. Damn good. Which is more acceptable to use in public, a toothpick or a floss stick? 89% of the audience says a toothpick is more acceptable to use in public. Tony. The floor.

Chris 'C' (LeBatard Show Host) (8:30)

The floor. The floor is this. The floor is. Nobody else in the room even knew that I had anything. Nobody was watching. Nobody had any idea because I was back there with Bat Riley making sure I had everything out. The only person watching me and watching my every move was Dan, inexplicably watching everything.

Dan Le Batard (LeBatard Show Host) (8:47)

You were spraying chunks of reference in people.

Juju (LeBatard Show Analyst) (8:50)

Chunks.

Dan Le Batard (LeBatard Show Host) (8:51)

Chunks.

Chris 'C' (LeBatard Show Host) (8:52)

Okay.

Dan Le Batard (LeBatard Show Host) (8:53)

Okay.

Chris 'C' (LeBatard Show Host) (8:54)

You're gonna lie here in front of everybody. You're gonna do that. You're gonna do that.

Dan Le Batard (LeBatard Show Host) (8:58)

You said you turned your back and you covered your mouth and you did.

Chris 'C' (LeBatard Show Host) (9:01)

I never said I covered my mouth. I never said I cover my mouth. I did turn my back once to make sure that whatever was there, nobody saw, and nobody did. Except you, who are watching very closely. Anyway, Zaz fell out of a chair. Don't worry about me.

Dan Le Batard (LeBatard Show Host) (9:13)

Seemed like a disgusting thing to do in front of people. Seemed like it could have been done anywhere. Juju would have never done it. Juju would have never done that in front of people. Not mouth covered. Not anything like that.

Juju (LeBatard Show Analyst) (9:25)

I'd rather die. Dan, when you think of Roger Clemens, what jersey is he wearing? A Yankee jersey, Red Sox jersey, Blue Jays jersey or Astros jersey? 53% of the audience says a Red Sox jersey.

Dan Le Batard (LeBatard Show Host) (9:44)

A Blue Jays.

Chris 'C' (LeBatard Show Host) (9:45)

Amen.

Juju (LeBatard Show Analyst) (9:48)

Should you approach a Q tip the way you do a bear? Close 1. 54 of the audience says no. Gotta be more careful. Are we in an apocalyptic place where no one is talking about the mysterious dying of the scientists? 94 of the audience says yes. And 50 of the audience says I can't say apocalyptic.

Dan Le Batard (LeBatard Show Host) (10:21)

Tough one.

Juju (LeBatard Show Analyst) (10:24)

Is there a more ridiculous thing to be afraid than. Hold on, I can't read now. Is there a more ridiculous thing to be afraid of than a q tip? 58% of the audience says no, there is not. Sorry for your list, Jeremy. And last poll is Wimby indeed. Better than you. 91% of the audience says yes. And those are your polls.

Dan Le Batard (LeBatard Show Host) (10:48)

Thank you, juju, before we get out of here, because I am going to be gone for the next week, I did want to throw to a little promo here of Neil Brennan on South Beach Sessions with us. Before I do that, though, juju, when are you starting up with Alley oop, doing live after playoff games? When is all of that starting for Alley OOP for you and Trista?

Juju (LeBatard Show Analyst) (11:08)

Yes, sir. The semifinals. The eastern and western semifinals, which is right around the corner. We finna crank this baby up, man. We got a lot of guests, a lot of fun guests, man. We usually don't have a guest on the Alley oop, which is rare. So we finna turn that thing around and make it more fun, man, for the playoffs.

Dan Le Batard (LeBatard Show Host) (11:25)

And so thank you for that, juju. As I was mentioning Neal Brennan Chappelle's show, he is somebody who has a lot of history with our show. We talk to creators of things on South Beach Sessions, and he's usually pretty good on sports as well. I don't know what he's saying in this.

Chris 'C' (LeBatard Show Host) (11:44)

What do you say?

Dan Le Batard (LeBatard Show Host) (11:44)

Do you know what he's saying in this clip? Chris, Cody, do you know?

Juju (LeBatard Show Analyst) (11:47)

I know.

Chris 'C' (LeBatard Show Host) (11:47)

Let's let the audience. I don't want to ruin it for the audience.

Dan Le Batard (LeBatard Show Host) (11:49)

Okay, you don't want to ruin it for the audience. That's good promotion by you in comedy. And you're a beast. Because you care about it like that. You care about it the most obsessively. Because I have to.

Guest Analyst/Commentator (12:00)

I cannot. I will die. It's like. It's the thing that I don't think journalists understand about Kevin Durant. He doesn't give a fuck about anything but basketball. He doesn't even know. He doesn't think about anything else. Like Twitter. But that's all basketball. It's all anger at people for not understanding basketball. And he does not. If he plays video games, I promise you, it's 2K. He's watching basketball. He doesn't have any other. Most of these guys are not interesting people because they don't care about anything but basketball. And if you talk to basketball players, they talk about Kevin Durant like they're not in the NBA. They talk on him like, yeah, I talked to Brunson about it. He was just like. Like, yeah, even at our level, where you like. Because he doesn't care about anything. And that's the thing with all these other. With. With Shaq and all these guys that, like, had all these other inches like yo man, Shaq, you might have gotten injured. You might have gotten injured if you played more. But if you were. If you stayed 290 or 3, I don't know what the good weight was and didn't rap or act or you would have scored. You would have 40, 20, 10.

Dan Le Batard (LeBatard Show Host) (13:28)

I have said the people in my crew get mad at me when I say Shaq underachieved by winning.

Guest Analyst/Commentator (13:35)

You see him in person and if you had to just you see him in person. First of all, the first instinct is to run because he's so big. Blake. Blake riven. One time, my dog, a pit bull, saw Blake in a parking lot and backed up. I've never seen a. He was like, yo, when did they start making people this big? I've never. This is a scale. I so.

Chris 'C' (LeBatard Show Host) (14:03)

So yeah.

Dan Le Batard (LeBatard Show Host) (14:04)

So if you've never seen your pit

Guest Analyst/Commentator (14:05)

bull pitbull backed up to Blake in like a nice brunch outfit, not even tough looking. So these. So it comes down to I don't care about anything else.