Greg Cote Leads The League in Gums | Hour 3

Summary

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The Dan Le Batard Show: "Greg Cote Leads The League in Gums" | Hour 3

Live from the Elser Hotel in Downtown Miami
Date: July 29, 2026

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Episode Overview

The third hour of "The Dan Le Batard Show" delivers an entertaining blend of sports banter, South Florida pop culture, and offbeat humor centered on the show’s personalities. This episode, "Greg Cote Leads The League in Gums," features discussions about notorious driving habits, the shocking durability of toothbrushes, the quirks of dentistry, NFL and college football headlines, judgments of “aura” in athletes, and a wild hiking story. The show’s signature blend of derailing tangents, group roasting, and Miami-centric references carries through, buoyed by Greg Cote's legendary presence.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Kyle Shanahan Accident Controversy

• Dan introduces the topic of San Francisco 49ers coach Kyle Shanahan’s car accident, questioning the coach's seeming attempts to control the narrative.
  • Quote (Dan, 02:15): “It’s fairly rare for a coach to be involved in a cover up mystery sort of scenario ... He says he was going 20 in a 25 and it’s 40 stitches in the face, a concussion ... Seems like it’s more than 20 miles an hour. Is he trying to get in front of this story or is he behind?”
• Amin and others speculate about potential criminal liability and why the details don’t add up.
  • Amin, 03:10: “Seems like when you tell too many details in a lie that it’s starting to come around on you ... I’m like, dude, I don’t believe anything.”

2. Greg Cote’s Toothbrush & Dental Health (“Lead the League in Gums”)

• The crew is aghast at Greg Cote’s admission of using the same toothbrush for 35 years.
  • Jessica, 04:46: “That’s pretty egregious. Yeah. Are the bristles still there?”
  • Greg, 06:47: “I am a living example of... Toothbrushes are made to last a lifetime. You can use a toothbrush for decades.”
• Poll questions ensue regarding toothbrush durability.
• Greg boasts about his dental health:
  • Greg, 07:27: “I lead the league in gums. I never have a cavity.”
  • He also reminisces about his chatty dentist and their friendship, prompting banter about dentist etiquette and memorabilia collections.
• Polls launched: Is it weird to be friends with your dentist? Is there anything more annoying than a chatty dentist?

3. Bad Drivers, Drowsy Driving & Etiquette

• Dan confronts Jessica and Zaz about showing gratitude in traffic, specifically with hand waves or points when someone lets you in.
  • Jessica, 10:02: “Supreme. Supreme jerk. You gotta do the ... two fingers up in the air. The little salute.”
• Multiple hosts admit to struggling to stay awake while driving, leading to musings about “rumble strips” and a harrowing story from Amin:
  • Amin, 11:07: “I once was driving from LA to Phoenix ... I was so sleepy... I pulled over, parked my car, put the seat back. Watch this — I fell asleep and then I woke up thinking I was still driving.”
  • Group debates whether long straight roads or curvy mountain roads are more dangerous for drivers.

4. Sports Style & “Aura” – C.J. Stroud’s Drip/Lack Thereof

• Dan asks why the crew was making fun of C.J. Stroud, leading to a group breakdown of athletes’ style/aura.
  • Amin, 18:24: “He came in with a just white tee and what looked like ... not even jean shorts.”
  • Jessica, 20:20: “People are saying that he is lacking aura... Sometimes you don’t need to try hard to have aura. But I think he’s not trying hard and also lacking.”
  • Dan, 21:01: “Would he have aura right now if he’d thrown five touchdowns in the playoff against Drake May instead of five interceptions?”
• Lighthearted conclusion: style and success intertwine, and gingers (apparently) can’t have aura, much to Chris's dismay.

5. Top TV Theme Songs – Jessica’s Millennial Update

• Dan bemoans the “musty, fossilized” TV theme picks on the show and invites Jessica to modernize the rankings.
  • Jessica’s Top 5 (from 22:19 onward):
    1. SpongeBob SquarePants (27:36) — complete with a group singalong.
    2. Succession (26:49) — multiple variations referenced.
    3. Downton Abbey (26:31)
    4. Agatha Christie’s Poirot (25:37)
    5. The Sopranos (22:30)
  • Dan, 22:46: “Jessica, I appreciate this effort, but it sounded like a duck had been stepped on.” (Reacting to her attempt at singing The Sopranos theme.)

6. NCAA Football: ACC Preseason Polls

• Jessica, 29:01: “Miami ... got 165 first place votes ... I think they will definitely be the best team in the ACC. But what stood out ... three people voted for Florida State to win the ACC. What is happening?”
• Dan mocks outlier votes for Stanford and Florida State, sparking debate about preseason polling’s accuracy (30:07).

7. NFL Camp Injuries & Falcons Quarterback Crisis

• Zaz (31:09): Breaking news: Falcons sign Cooper Rush due to Michael Penix Jr. and Tua Tagovailoa both being injured two days into camp.
  • Jessica, 31:41: “Let’s just wrap it up. Although, you know what? New head coach Kevin Stefanski ... Yeah, Tua’s health, that’s a...”
  • Dan jokes about “taking their helmet out of the bucket of death” (32:14).

8. Viral Hiking Injury Story: Human Shish Kebab

• Jessica, 32:24: Details a viral incident of a hiker impaled through the chest with a hiking pole in Montana, who then hiked 10 miles out rather than pay for helicopter rescue.
  • Jessica: “He hiked all the way back down a mountain with a pole sticking out of his chest and then went on an ambulance...”
  • Crew reacts with shock, gallows humor, and Rambo references (Amin, 34:23).

9. Movie Violence Squeamishness: Stabbings vs. Shootings

• Dan, 35:44: “There’s only one thing that I react to in the movies. It’s knives. It’s blades. ... It makes me secondhand uncomfortable. It’s literally the only thing that happens in the movie.”
  • Amin, 37:00: “If I had to be attacked and either get shot or stabbed, I’m taking the shooting ... Just go ahead and shoot. Don’t stab me.”
  • The group agrees that stabbing is “too intimate, too hard.”

10. LeBron James Offseason Rumors & Athletic Aging

• News from Dave McMenamin (38:51): LeBron considered offers from the Celtics and Clippers before signing with Philadelphia. Rich Paul hints LeBron may play “two seasons, maybe we get four.”**
  • Dan, 39:41: “Everyone’s assuming [Rams QB Matthew] Stafford’s just going to be the MVP again... all quarterbacks except Brady get bad [at this age].”
  • Greg, 40:31: “I think the rules have changed. Brady, Lionel Messi, LeBron, we see so many examples now...”
  • Dan questions if athletic longevity is really the new normal or just reserved for all-time greats.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Greg (07:27): “I lead the league in gums. I never have a cavity.”
• Jessica (10:02): “Supreme jerk. You gotta do the ... two fingers up in the air. The little salute.”
• Amin (11:24): “I pulled over, parked my car, put the seat back ... I fell asleep, and then I woke up thinking I was still driving.”
• Dan (20:59): “Would he have aura right now if he’d thrown five touchdowns in the playoff against Drake May instead of five interceptions?”
• Jessica (27:46): “SpongeBob who lives in a pineapple under the sea Spongebob Squarepants...”
• Jessica (32:24): “...this man has a hiking pole going through his body ... and then he realized it had gone through his chest, through his back.”
• Amin (37:00): “If I had to be attacked and either get shot or stabbed, I’m taking the shooting ... Just go ahead and shoot. Don’t stab me.”
• Dan (39:41): “Everyone’s assuming Stafford’s just going to be the MVP again... all quarterbacks except Brady get bad.”

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Kyle Shanahan accident discussion: 02:15 – 04:22
• Greg Cote’s toothbrush & dental health: 04:35 – 08:23
• Driving etiquette & drowsy driving stories: 09:34 – 12:47
• C.J. Stroud’s style, “aura,” and athlete coolness: 17:53 – 21:28
• Jessica’s TV theme song top five: 22:19 – 27:36
• ACC Football preseason poll analysis: 28:26 – 30:40
• Falcons camp QB injuries: 31:09 – 31:59
• Hiker impaled story: 32:24 – 35:13
• Movie violence & stabbing vs. shooting: 35:44 – 37:16
• LeBron, aging athletes, and NFL QB aging: 38:51 – 40:52

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Final Thoughts

This episode showcases the Le Batard crew at their improvisational, free-associating best: one minute bemoaning the dangers of sleepy Miami drivers, the next debating whether it’s normal (or even possible) to keep a toothbrush for 35 years, before sliding into critiques of star quarterbacks’ entrances, and eventually pondering the limits of human toughness (both physical and psychological). The tone is irreverent, rapid-fire, and awash in inside jokes—a must-listen (or must-read) for any fan of the show.

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Transcript

[A]

Howdy folks. It's Mike Ryan. You know, the Levitard show and Miller Lite go way back pretty much. I want to say like 95% of our existence we've been partnered with Miller Lite and we believe in Miller Lite. They believe in us. It's great to have a partner with a product you truly love. That's me with Miller Lite. I love Miller Lite, always have. In fact, I consider myself a bit of a Miller Time mvp. The the friend who says they've got it, I'll pick the spot, I'll throw the cooler in the trunk, bring some Miller Lite, and suddenly what was supposed to be a couple of hours turns into a whole afternoon. That's me, the Miller Time mvp. And it's great for summer. Hangs cools the body down. That beautiful white can not much better than an ice cold Miller Lite because it's brewed for taste with simple ingredients, clean, refreshing and easy to drink in the Miami heat. An all American summer starts with an all American beer Miller lite. Go to millerlight.com dan to find delivery options near you. Or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. It's Miller time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Co. Milwaukee, WI 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.

[B]

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[C]

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[D]

You are listening to the Dan Levatar show in partnership with the DraftKings sports app now live in all 50 states. Jessica is going to be in here with us in a second. I'm curious, any more details on the Kyle Shanahan thing? What is going to happen with this? It's fairly rare for a coach to be involved in a cover up mystery sort of scenario where people don't quite believe what's happening. And there was an erroneous police report and now he's volunteering the accident was my fault. And he says he was going 20 and a 25 and it's 40 stitches in the face, a concussion that takes him out of work, a broken nose, broken ribs and a broken hand. Seems like it's more than 20 miles an hour. Is he trying to get in front of this story or is he behind?

[E]

Seems like when you tell too many details in a lie that it's starting to come around on you and it's like, well, no, I wasn't on my phone. I was searching for my ph and like I was only going 20 miles an hour and that's actually my fault. Now we start getting to the point where I'm like, dude, I don't believe anything but.

[D]

But it was my fault. But I was doing nothing illegal. Yeah, okay, Just it's my fault, but I wasn't committing the crime of having a phone that leads to that accident because I was distracted by my phone.

[F]

Can I ask what would be wrong if he said he was on his phone and just take the L. Well,

[D]

because I'm guessing it's criminal. I'm not going to jail for being on his phone. I'm guessing it's criminally liable if there's a lawsuit of some sort because not only not only did you wreck the woman's car with an accident that was your fault, but whatever her last 11 days have been because of whatever it is getting hit by the coach of the 49ers. If the 49ers don't want anyone known about what the accident is.

[F]

Now, I'm no Anna Jar and Levine, but like it would seem to me that a rear end collision, you are automatically at fault. Like there's nothing whether you're on your phone or not. Too bad. Like I've been rear end collided and I bought a house off that. Like that sucker. Yeah, man, I was in a rear end collision at a red light and it's like. And they try to, like, settle for 500 bucks. And I got a lawyer, and I got a lot more than 500 bucks.

[E]

Cheap house.

[G]

That's some kind of revelation. Good for you.

[F]

Thank you.

[D]

How is that the second least, second most shocking revelation in the last five minutes?

[G]

That's something.

[F]

What's number one? Johnny Infantino.

[D]

It's Greg Cody's toothbrush situation. Jessica, how do you feel about the idea of using a toothbrush and hello, nice to see you for 35 years.

[H]

That's pretty egregious. Yeah. Are the bristles still there? Have they not been ground down by your.

[G]

He says they're better than ever.

[H]

That's not true.

[I]

They're made to last. Bristles.

[F]

Tom Brady of bristles.

[H]

You know what? They probably do not make toothbrush bristles like they used in that. They probably used to be made out of wood or something.

[I]

Wood.

[H]

What material are your toothbrush brush bristles from?

[I]

This is the same material as anybody. What are they? What. What are toothbrush.

[D]

Put it on the pole. Are bristles made to last 30, 35? If I told you, Jessica, do you

[I]

believe I bristle at the idea they're not?

[F]

Zing.

[E]

Charles Zing.

[I]

Chuck Z. I want government name.

[D]

Skipper.

[E]

I want government name Charles Zing.

[G]

And hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.

[F]

Jessica, did you say Zigadine?

[G]

I did.

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[I]

That's how to play the game right there. There you go. Well done.

[D]

You had the lob of Skipper Chuck right there for you, Tony. And you got the name and the joke wrong.

[E]

First off, it wasn't Skipp Chuck. The guy's name was Charles Zink.

[D]

Chuck What's.

[E]

What's Chuck Derivative.

[D]

Skipper Chuck, not Skipper Charles.

[E]

But. But Zink is not in the Skipper Chuck part.

[D]

You're defending this?

[E]

Yeah, absolutely. The Daisy government name.

[F]

The Daisy Jane. Dan was me saying Zing, then he said Charles Zing when he should have said Chuck Zing.

[E]

Yeah, but I wonder.

[D]

Zingadine Zidane is excellent there.

[B]

Great job.

[D]

That's just good work. But if I told you, Jessica, do you believe before this interaction that there's any human being in your life who has owned a toothbrush for 35 years? Do you believe you'd say yes to that?

[H]

Well, Greg Cody, I would say him.

[I]

Thank you.

[D]

Thank you.

[I]

I'm proud of it.

[D]

You're proud that you've owned a toothbrush for 35 years. You're proud of it.

[I]

I am a living example of. Toothbrushes are made to last a lifetime. You can use a Toothbrush for decades.

[D]

Are toothbrushes made to last a lifetime? Juju put that on the poll as well. LeBatard show. We've got some bad drivers around here. Zaz, you wanted to say something?

[G]

Well, I was going to ask Greg, like, what's. You're saying, you know, your toothbrush is great. What's the cavity situation for you?

[I]

Like, I, you know, my dentist, the great Charles Mandel, has told me that I will have my natural teeth my entire life.

[G]

That's all I ask.

[I]

I lead the league in gums. I never have a cavity.

[G]

You've never had a cavity?

[I]

I'm not saying I. I've never had. You did just say I lead the league in gu. Gums.

[D]

I have beautiful teeth, too.

[I]

Okay. Yes. You know, I mean, what can I tell?

[D]

You're saying that your dentist would come on here, Chris, get his dentist on.

[I]

Well, he's. He's long retired. Chuck Mandel. I don't want to.

[D]

So you haven't been to the dentist in 40 years?

[I]

No, I have a new dentist.

[B]

And if we got him on here, he probably wouldn't stop talking for about an hour.

[D]

Well, he was a leg and gums.

[B]

I switched dentists because of how chatty my dad's.

[G]

Well, I got to tell you something that. That's something that these dentists. I don't understand what these dentists, you know, I'll be in the dental chair. And he's getting to work on me. Got all kinds of bullshit going on in my mouth. He can't stop asking me questions. How am I gonna answer him? I got all this shit in my mouth, keeps asking me questions.

[B]

I agree.

[D]

That's a good point.

[E]

How the he gonna do this here?

[D]

Can I get that sucky thing?

[B]

So I got too much liquid in my mouth.

[I]

And Mandel, by the way, was a huge Heat fan, so I could not have an appointment with him without him talking to me while I'm incapacitated about the heat. And handball. Big handball player, talks about Abe Saperstein. He's an older guy. He was in his mid-80s, probably 90 now because he's retired about five years. He used to go back to the. The old early NBA days. Abe Saperstein is a name he always used to mention. It was a. It was crazy. Jess, have you heard of Abe Saperstein?

[H]

I still don't know who Bernie Parmale is, Greg.

[I]

Oh, that's true. You're right. Yeah. Mandel had a hall of fame.

[D]

That was Chris talking privately in your ear. That wasn't on air. He was just giving you a line to use about the dentist. Dr. Mandel.

[I]

Yeah. He had a hall of fame, a sports hall of fame underneath his dental office. And he and I became friends. Not just client doctor. And so that's weird. Once he took me underneath to the sports hall of fame and. And what a treasure trove of memorabilia that guy had. It was amazing. I should have written a column about it, now that I think about it.

[D]

Put it on the poll at Lebatard show. Is it weird to be friends with your dentist? Also put it on the poll at Lebatard show. Is there anything more annoying than a chatty dentist? Yes or no, but we've got some bad drivers around here, Jess. And I just want to get your thoughts on some etiquette around here. Because Zaz will not say thank you, point, or wave a hand to anyone who lets him in in tr. How much of a jerk does that make him? He doesn't say thank you.

[H]

Supreme. Supreme jerk. You gotta do the. This. You just do this.

[B]

Two fingers up in the air. The little salute.

[H]

Just do a little nod. Well, two fingers up.

[D]

Zaz and Chris Cody are often trying not to fall asleep.

[G]

Tony, too.

[D]

Not to fall asleep.

[E]

Pointing fingers at me for it.

[G]

You admitted it.

[D]

Okay. Not falling asleep. On the way home. They're driving their cars and their afternoon drowsiness. Thank you, Jessica. They're routinely coming close to falling asleep while driving home.

[H]

Yeah, that's not. That's not good. Don't. Don't do that, guys.

[G]

Don't do what? Don't fall asleep. We haven't.

[F]

Grand jury star witness over here, Jonathan Zas even pointed at me.

[B]

They have those things on the side of the road that wake you up, though, so you're good, though.

[G]

That's what they're there for, Jess.

[H]

No, the rumble strips.

[G]

Yeah, that's what they're there for.

[B]

We've been trying to figure out that name for 24 hours.

[G]

They're there in case you fall asleep. Gotta lay down those rumble strips.

[H]

This is gonna be testimony in a court case in the next, I don't know, six months.

[F]

I predict Zaz is the star witness.

[H]

Don't admit this stuff out loud, you guys.

[B]

It's bad.

[H]

And don't do it. But also don't admit it.

[I]

Mostly don't admit it.

[F]

I once was driving from LA to Phoenix in the middle of night, and I was so sleepy. There's no cars. I was so sleepy. And I said. I said, amin, this is dangerous. You got to pull off next. Rest Area, you got to pull off. So I pull off the next rest area. I park my car. I put the seat back.

[G]

That feels dangerous. Watch this.

[F]

Watch this. I fell asleep, and then I woke up thinking I was still driving.

[I]

What?

[D]

And I was like, that's terrible, because

[F]

I saw a cactus in front of me.

[I]

Like, ah.

[F]

And then I realized, wait, wait a second. Then here's the crazy.

[G]

You thought you were driving with your seat and recline.

[F]

So then this is the crazy part. I said, wait a second. I don't remember parking. How did I get here? Did I fall outside of the road and someone, some good Samaritan drove me, parked me, and then got out, Put

[G]

you back in the driver's seat.

[F]

I had all these questions. Oh, yeah, that's right.

[G]

Did you have a blanket on you?

[D]

Let me understand a few things here. This is dangerous. Sleepy. I don't know that there's a place where it is more likely that you're going to get sleepy than the darkness of the desert. If you have to drive for five miles, just nothing to see.

[F]

There's no lights. Like, there's no street lights. Nothing. It's just you and your headlights.

[C]

Whatever you see.

[D]

It seems to me the most dangerous outside of, like, curly roads and mountains. It seems to me the most likely place to have danger because you're gonna fall asleep. But you falling asleep and having the reverse of what would happen. You fall asleep and you think that you're still driving, and that's how you crash and die. But for you to pull over, go to sleep, and then think you're still driving is the reverse of how that usually happens.

[F]

I was uncommonly, like, responsible, and I think my body was like, nah, not a chance.

[D]

Tony. Tony is also a skipper. Tony is somebody who.

[F]

If.

[D]

If you skip in line, he expects you to let him skip in front of you in traffic.

[I]

What?

[H]

How does it. I don't even understand.

[E]

It's really simple. Yeah. So. So if I'm watching you, if you're skipping the line, I'm skipping you because you skipped the line.

[H]

I have a moral in a. You're on, like, a busy exit trying to get off, and you're skipping. I see. I mean, I. Yeah, that's fair.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

It's my.

[H]

I'm not really a skipper unless it's like, an emergency, but if someone else is skipping, I'm skipping ahead of time.

[F]

But, Jess, let me ask you a question, because this happens to me a lot. I'm driving. My exit is like two miles up. But, you know, they've got the sign. It's like, oh, 10 west this way. And so all of these idiots get into the far right lane and they just stopped. And so I go all the way down, down. And I'm like, you guys didn't have to start lining up here. If we just had regular traffic emerge gradually, this wouldn't be an issue. So am I. I don't. I don't cut like the. That weird wedge thing. I don't do that like. But I will cut the line.

[G]

Find someone slipping.

[F]

Yeah, someone to. Someone not paying attention. Whatever. Am I in the wrong there?

[H]

No, I don't think. I don't think that's the worst offense. Falling asleep. Definitely way worse. What Zaz and Chris are admitting to being. Being sleepy on. That's Antony Dan. Going driving straight is way sleepier than a curve. Curvy road in the mountains.

[B]

Great shout. Like, correct.

[D]

Yes, I was just thinking of danger. Yes. I was thinking that the most dangerous place to drive would be curvy road on a mountain. But the most dangerous place or the place most likely to fall asleep would be a desert at night.

[I]

Yeah. Sonora.

[H]

I would also say I 95 in the middle of the afternoon when the sun's beating down. August, it's kind of like one of those things where you're almost relieved when the afternoon storm rolls in because it does give you a little bit of relief. But when it's just the sun's just beating down on you in your car and you're driving home after a five hour day yelling about LeBron going to the Sixers or something, I could see why you'd be sleepy. But you need to. You need to work on

[C]

that.

[F]

Might be the smartest joke in the history of this show.

[D]

Do not let me better, though, to leave those things unstated. Do not let me get out of here today without reporting some of these LeBron details that Dave McMenamin has.

[A]

Tony, you know that moment at a party or at a tailgate where everything just sort of clicks?

[E]

I know it.

[D]

Well.

[E]

It's usually when I show up, everybody goes crazy.

[A]

Yeah. You usually take all the credit for it, but it's because Tony usually walks in with Cuervo walking like this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cuervo is a thing that turns hanging out into this is the night.

[E]

It has that effect on people.

[A]

It does. You usually take the credit for it. But again, it's the Cuervo effect. It's like that moment in a big game where everyone in the crowd just starts standing up, hooting and hollering keep it Cuervo.

[E]

Keep it Cuervo, baby.

[A]

Howdy, folks. It's Mike Ryan. You know the Levitard show and Miller, like, go way back pretty much. I want to say, like 95% of our existence, we've been partnered with Miller Lite and we believe in Miller Lite. They believe in us. It's great to have a partner with a product you truly love. That's me with Miller Lite. I love Miller Lite, always have. In fact, I consider myself a bit of a Miller Time mvp. The friend who says, they've got it. I'll pick the spot, I'll throw the cooler in the trunk, bring some Miller Lite, and suddenly what was supposed to be a couple of hours turns into a whole afternoon. That's me, the Miller Time mvp. And it's great for summer. Hangs. Cools the body down. That beautiful white can. Not much better than an ice cold Miller Lite because it's brewed for taste with simple ingredients. Clean, refreshing, and easy to drink in the Miami heat. An all American summer starts with an all American beer Miller lite. Go to millerlight.com dan to find delivery options near you. Or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. It's Miller time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Co. Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.

[G]

Back to school means my boys are back to making their lunches every morning. And I like knowing they're reaching for Boar's Head. At the deli counter, Boar's Head favorites are freshly sliced to order, made with premium ingredients and give my boys the quality protein they need to power through busy school days. It's one less thing to worry about because I know they're putting together a lunch that tastes great and keeps them going for lunchtime inspiration. Visit boar's head.combacktoschool and for Boar's Head, head to your local deli counter.

[D]

Down Levitar.

[I]

I heard that as a woman faking pain, I didn't think that sounded real. I really didn't.

[D]

You know, it was not fake. It was in no way fake.

[H]

You can spot a woman faking it, Greg Cody.

[I]

Yes, I can, Jess. I've been married 40 years.

[D]

This is the Levitar Show. Moving on to other subject matter here, can you tell me why it is you guys were making fun of C.J. stroud this morning? Like, what is the backstory on on CJ Stroud that all of you felt very comfortable delighting in in making Fun of somebody that until throwing five interceptions in a playoff game, I thought was pretty cool. Like, I thought was not somebody we were making fun of.

[E]

Yeah, he's had a bit of a transformation, visually. Obviously, he had the dreads. He cut those off and, you know, you're usually used to stylish QBs and stylish ballplayers. And he came in with a just white tee and what looked like. I don't even think they're jean shorts.

[G]

I mean, he's walking like he's holding

[D]

in a shit basketball.

[B]

Bit of a duck walk with the

[F]

feet pointing out big basketball shorts from the nerd. You just.

[D]

Greg Cody just said nerd. And I'm more concerned that he waddles like Chris Whittingham.

[I]

He looks like a nerd.

[E]

Bit of a saunter.

[D]

I'm not doing. I'm not doing nerd. But what are you guys. Jessica, what are you.

[F]

Chris Whittingham is.

[E]

What are you.

[H]

Chris Whittingham catching a straight.

[D]

No, Chris Whittingham. No, I was doing Chris Whittingham's lower body. I was not doing his upper body.

[I]

Oh, my God.

[H]

Hey, yo, can you extrapolate?

[B]

What.

[H]

What he.

[D]

That's the way Chris. That's how he walks. That's how Chris Whittingham walks.

[B]

It's actually a great shout by Dan, but he. You are saying a bit nerdy, though.

[D]

I'm not, but I'm not saying. I'm not saying nerd. I. I am saying, you know, not most athletic.

[H]

He's saying awkward.

[D]

Not the most athletic.

[I]

Yeah. Bottom heavy.

[D]

I didn't say bottom heavy.

[I]

I did.

[D]

I.

[I]

But like a pair.

[D]

I did not say built like a pair. I didn't say bottom heavy. I did say waddle.

[E]

He's got a bit of a heavy shoe, it looks like.

[B]

Dude, I was thinking the same thing.

[H]

That actually happens to me sometimes when I wear certain heavy, like, air maxes. They cause my. Yeah, they cause my ankles to turn out when I walk sometimes. And I notice that I am walking like that because my feet are too heavy. That is the thing. Maybe that's all it is, Just heavy shoes.

[F]

Everything about his fit is 2005. The T shirt, the shorts, the shoes, the backpack. That's why he looks like that. He looks awkward because he looks like a time traveler who's come to us from the past to let us know that, hey, it's not too late to change your ways. Wait a second. I got that wrong. Time travel goes the other.

[I]

Nah.

[F]

Damn.

[H]

When you walk, I Think it's. I think it's like the. Back in my day, there used to be, like, a time period where everyone would. All the stars of the NFL would do these, like, big, elaborate training camp entrances. And this one was just very mundane. And he is dressed very plainly. And I think people are saying that he is lacking aura. That's what I've heard.

[D]

Oh, so he's gotta be cool here. He's gotta be dressing like Joe Burrow, coming to camp, missing the playoffs three years in a row.

[B]

Exactly.

[H]

That's a good point. I'm not saying that, but some people are saying that he is lacking aura. Sometimes lacking aura. Sometimes you don't need to try hard to have aura. But I think he's not trying hard

[G]

and also lacking Daniel by that oral farm.

[D]

Would he have aura right now? If he'd thrown five touchdowns in the playoff against Drake May. Instead of five interceptions, would he have aura walking in the same way? Like, if. Is that.

[E]

What, did they go to the super bowl or. No.

[D]

Just because of their defense, though. Not because.

[E]

Okay, so they made it to the Super Bowl.

[D]

Made it to the super bowl, but just because of their defense.

[E]

Okay, yeah, he has aura.

[D]

Does get aura in that circumstance.

[H]

Okay, that's a good question. Does Sam Darnold have aura now?

[D]

No.

[I]

No.

[E]

Really?

[D]

Then, no, he doesn't. It's ginger.

[E]

Super bowl change.

[H]

I don't think he might.

[G]

Can't have aura with red hair. Everybody knows that.

[D]

Ginger.

[B]

I disagree.

[H]

That's not nice to Chris.

[F]

What about Ginger from Gil Gonzalez? He had aura.

[I]

Oh, she had aura.

[A]

The movie star.

[F]

Movie star. They see how they say everyone else, the professor, but it's like, when it gets to her, it's like the movie star, they let you know, like, Ginger's got it going.

[I]

Damn right.

[D]

And Marianne, little peppier, a little more effervescent. Champagne bottle opening. But the movie stars. There's an undercurrent of water.

[E]

What was she doing there? She couldn't afford a bigger, bigger boat than the Minnow.

[D]

Where are you on top five? Top five TV theme songs of all time, Jessica? We sounded. I felt like dated, musty, fossilized, cobwebbed. We weren't using any modern songs. I was embarrassed on behalf of our show. And then I proclaimed the theme song dead because I hadn't heard any in 25 years.

[H]

Should I give my top five? I have a top five I can give you.

[D]

I would love that. Yes. Any Oli?

[H]

We'll go with no for the time being.

[G]

All right.

[H]

But number five we'll say, should I sing it?

[I]

Yes.

[H]

You guys will know what it is. If I sing the opening thing, you'll

[I]

know what it is.

[B]

Ready?

[H]

What, this morning?

[F]

Got myself a go.

[H]

There you go.

[E]

Still 20 years old, though.

[D]

That's technically.

[F]

Technically 20th century. It started in the 90s. 1999.

[D]

It did, unfortunately. And Jessica, I appreciate this effort, but it sounded like a duck had been stepped on.

[G]

It's not bad.

[B]

That theme song just makes me want to pull into a driveway.

[F]

I always think of the.

[H]

Makes me want to look at like the smokestacks in Newark, you know, Jersey Turnpike. Driving on the turnpike. Yeah, Just like.

[D]

I'm like, yeah, so wait, so that's funny that. Because for me, it makes me want to go outside and get the newspaper in a robe.

[A]

You'd look good doing that.

[H]

Makes you want to have a panic attack.

[G]

I never worn a robe.

[H]

Central theme.

[D]

You've never worn a robe.

[G]

Still have never worn a robe. I'm going to hotel thing. Maybe I'll do this weekend. I'm going. I'm staying in a nice hotel this weekend. Maybe I'll wear a robe.

[D]

The robe is an old man thing.

[H]

It just, it makes me think of Lehman's dad. Sometimes I go over to their apartment and he's just in a robe and I'm like, ah.

[D]

Didn't you wear a robe on this show a month ago?

[G]

Yeah, that was the first time I ever actually wore one.

[D]

But I wore a robe, but I

[G]

wore it over my clothes. Like, that's not really wearing a rope, you know?

[D]

Gotta wear it more like a coward.

[F]

Hold on. Lehman's dad just walks around in a robe?

[H]

Yeah, he's got a robe. We were at a store a couple weeks ago and Lehman saw a tear. It's like, you know, one of those, like white terry cloth robes that like Tony Soprano would wear. And Lehman was like, he like stopped and looked at it and I was like, nope, nope, nope, nope. It was like that commercial where it's like you're turning into your parents. I was like, moving on. Keep walking. You're not old enough to get the robe yet.

[F]

You saw it real time, the transition happening.

[H]

Yes, it's happening, it's happening and it's very frightening.

[D]

Is that a level of comfort that your potential father in law has here that he should not have? Like, that's a level of intimacy. Like you do that with your family, but he's now welcoming you into his family. But that's more. That's a level of comfort that's right on the line? No.

[H]

You know, Lehman's dad, he's got a very hard job. He's on his feet all day, and when he gets home, he just wants to chill. And I respect that. And I'm going into his home, and if he wants to chill and what he wants to chill in, that's fine. Sometimes I do avert my eyes in certain situations. I do not want Lehman to be chilling like that yet at this stage in his life, still in his 30s. But I respect the father in law for having his chill time in his comfortable apartment.

[D]

That's really nice of you. Right up until I tell you that my father was in his underwear when my brother was bringing home women. Been in his twenties. And my father thought that that was okay. And I was like, that's not in any way okay for anyone involved here.

[E]

It's endearing.

[D]

Is it Endear?

[E]

Yeah. You walk in as my old man, he's in underwear.

[D]

Be like, hell yeah, dude, tiny, white.

[H]

It depends. I don't know.

[D]

You don't think that's too far?

[I]

Yeah, sure it is.

[H]

I think we're engaged now. So I think his dad's just like, yeah, well, here it is. I'm in my room.

[F]

It's too late now.

[D]

Number four.

[H]

Here's a very current reference, Dan. Agatha Christie's Poirot, the ITV series that aired from 1989 to 2013.

[F]

Look, Jessica, I love that show. I watched that show.

[C]

Wait, really?

[F]

I did. Yes, I did. Short guy, black hair, mustache.

[H]

Yes.

[F]

Look, I've read all those.

[H]

Agatha now.

[F]

And the show was. Was incredible. It was very faithful to the books, but you gotta be out your goddamn mind if you think that's the number four theme song.

[H]

Listen, I mean, do you know what it sounds like off the top of your head?

[F]

No, it's.

[H]

It slaps so hard. It may be played at my wedding. We'll put it that way. Okay, we'll move on to number three.

[I]

Why didn't you sing it then?

[C]

Maybe.

[F]

Oh, yeah, yeah, you're right.

[H]

It's pretty good.

[F]

It is good. Okay, I take it back.

[I]

That's a wedding song right there.

[H]

You're gonna love. Number three. Downton Abbey, Another ITV show.

[G]

Horrible.

[I]

Love that show.

[H]

What?

[I]

Can't think of the theme. Love the show.

[H]

Do do do do do do do do do.

[D]

You made me like it so good. You made me like it. You made me like it. You made me like it. Based on just your recreation.

[H]

Number two, succession.

[F]

That was a good one. Yes, that was a good one.

[G]

Yes.

[D]

That has to be the record for most different ways. A theme song by leaps and bounds. Correct. Because they played it. I'm sure you can look it up on the Internet, the number of different ways they played that same song.

[F]

But it has to be over 50 according to Zaslo. That doesn't count because that's not the theme song. Because we, we had talking about that with Curb. It's like that's just a thing that they play. I'm like, that's the thing.

[G]

There's a whole two minute intro with that song.

[F]

There's a 30 second intro with Curb.

[G]

Yeah, you're nuts. 30 seconds.

[D]

Number one.

[H]

Ready? Okay, I'll sing it, Dan. You, you. I'll sing the first line and then you respond. Ready?

[I]

Oh,

[H]

SpongeBob who lives in a pineapple

[D]

under the sea SpongeBob square pants absorbent

[H]

in yellow and porous Is he SpongeBob square pants? If not, I call nonsense. Be something you wish spongebob Square Pants Then jump on the deck and flop like a fish spongebob square pass.

[F]

Getting the lyrics yet, Dan?

[H]

Dan, Come on, Dan.

[E]

Have you seen a second hand? A millisecond of SpongeBob SquarePants?

[D]

SpongeBob SquarePants.

[F]

Even Greg knows it.

[D]

I've never felt so alone.

[G]

I took my boys to see the Spongebob movie like 10 years ago. I didn't know what the hell was going on.

[H]

New spongebob not the same as old spongebob.

[D]

Put it on the poll at Le Batard show. Is the new spongebob the same as the old spongebob? The ACC pre season polls have come out and Jessica, I'm sure you're noticing everyone's talking about Notre Dame and everyone's talking about Miami. All of the people who are expert on the portal movements and know how it is that roster replenishment is happening throughout recruiting. Say that Miami is leaps and bounds above everyone else. And also it helps when you can just steal ACC champion Dukes quarterback and wide receiver.

[H]

My takeaway from the ACC pre season media poll. So Miami, as you can see, got 165 first place votes, which is, I think very fair because I think they will definitely be the best team in the acc. I think they were last year, but they obviously lost two ACC games and because of the tiebreakers couldn't play in the championship. However, Dan, there were also some pointing out Stanford, Stanford got a first place vote. That's kind of weird because Stanford football, their win total for the last like three seasons has been like under five games. So that's weird. And so that kind of stood out. But I think what stood out to me more than one rogue vote for Stanford was some. Three people, Dan. Three people voted for Florida State to win the acc. What is happening with the preseason ATC media poll? It just makes no sense. I wish. I kind of wish Mike were here. This is one thing.

[D]

So wait, so, but you're talking about four votes here, four rogue votes, one on Stanford. That's just believing in Andrew Luck can fix the program. And three going to FSU because they haven't been paying any attention to what they should have been paying attention to over the last couple of years.

[H]

It's just very confusing. I mean, you could give me like the SMU votes, even the Louisville and the Clemson votes. You could give that all to me. You could say, you know what, Miami, they might not win all their ACC games like they're supposed to, even though their schedule is not that hard this year. The Notre Dame game obviously doesn't count towards the ACC conference standings, which is a bonus. So maybe they don't win it. Even though we think they'll be the best team. Maybe you can convince yourself of like smu, Louisville or Clemson. Georgia Tech also got two votes. Not so sure about that one. But three votes for Florida State just kind of stands out of. What are, what are we doing here?

[D]

Dan Levitar.

[H]

I don't like Smutty either.

[D]

Jessica Esmatana.

[H]

Women stay home in the kitchen where they belong.

[D]

This is the Dan Levatar Show.

[G]

Dan, we have breaking news. The Atlanta Falcons are signing veteran quarterback Cooper Rush because Michael Penix Jr. Is not going to be available for at least four weeks. But also to a tongue of iloa is out because he's having a flare up from a back injury.

[F]

This is amazing. The conversation you guys had the other day, like, who would be the starter? He's always hurt. Well, he's always hurt and somehow they're both hurt. Amazing.

[G]

We're on the second day of training camp for the Falcons. Tua already out.

[H]

They do think he's gonna play, though. I have, I have. But you know, you know, now that I say that out loud, what. Of course they're saying that. I mean, what are we doing here?

[D]

You really fell apart there, Jess. What happened?

[H]

I just thought about Tua and the Falcons and I thought, let's just, let's wrap it up.

[D]

Up.

[H]

Let's wrap up the season. Although, you know what? New head coach Kevin Stefanski. Tommy Reese is there now, Dan. But yeah, Tua's health, that's a don't

[D]

try and talk yourself into it with a couple of coaches after we gave

[E]

you the got two and you got Michael Penn, it's good luck.

[D]

You could throw out a couple of lazy coaching names at us. And said what? The Falcons are more interesting because what

[H]

I decided it's not fair to say wrap up the season the first day of camp.

[D]

It is, of course. Did you not hear what Zaz just said? Like, both of their quarterbacks are hurt already.

[H]

All right, take. Take their helmet out of the bucket of death. Let's just give it. Call it a wrap.

[B]

Jess, why did you send me a photo of a guy with a stick going through his chest?

[G]

What?

[H]

Oh, my God. Did you guys see this story about this hiker?

[E]

Yes, I saw it.

[I]

I don't know.

[H]

Okay, this man has a hiking pole going through his body. As you can see in this photo. He was hiking up a mountain in Montana and fell and was like, oh, I only. I fell. I only see one of my. My hiking sticks on the ground. Where's the other one? And then he realized it had gone through his chest, through his back. Oh, that's a very graphic picture. There should be a warning.

[B]

He's very relaxed.

[H]

So turns out, Chris, this guy is a. Works at a hospital. He's like a nurse. He knows how to treat traumatic wounds. And he was 10 miles up this mountain with his friends, and he was like, I'm pretty sure I didn't hit any internal organs. My lung is intact. I'm not bleeding. I don't want to pay for a $2,000 medical evacuation helicopter ride down to the bottom. So I'm just gonna walk back and think that. Let's just kind of see what happens. So he hiked all the way back down a mountain with a pole sticking out of his chest and then went on an ambulance, or I think his friends drove him to the hospital and then got to the hospital and they finally removed it.

[E]

Hit it, Roy. Hiking stick. What are we doing here?

[H]

It's one of the more horrifying things I've ever seen.

[I]

I.

[H]

It kind of begs the question, like, how bad of an injury do you have to have where you can walk down a 10 mile hike but refuse the 2000? I don't know if it's 2000. I assume it's in the thousands, the helicopter ride. Like, we're kind of. This is kind of as bad as it gets, right? Like, you can't do worse than this.

[G]

If I'm impaled, you can charge me whatever you want to charge me to. Get me to the hospital immediately.

[F]

So this actually happened in Rambo 3. Something explodes, and he gets, like, this spike that goes through him. So he breaks it off, but it's still kind of inside him. The pieces are. So he's gotta grab the other half of the stick and poke out the remnants. But then he's got this big hole. He's gotta cauterize the wound. So what he does. This is quite ingenious. He gets some gunpowder and he sprinkles it inside the hole, then lights it on fire. And you got flames coming from both sides. And you know what? Doesn't wince? He winces a little bit, but he doesn't make a noise.

[H]

Well, so this guy did wince a little bit. His friends were calling him a shish kebab on the way down, which I thought was funny, but here's another. Another white guy's thing. You, Roy. They. They were going to camp overnight at a place called Froze to Death Plateau.

[I]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

No.

[E]

Ikuano High. I can tell.

[D]

Check out her weekly Notre Dame podcast, the Echoes. An Echo Chamber with Mike Golick junior. Jessica, thank you. Appreciate the time. Nice seeing you.

[H]

Goodbye.

[F]

Tell Lehman to live his robe dreams.

[D]

Let your fiance be free. Let him be an old man before he's an old man puttering around the house like C.J. stroud in a bathrobe with the lower body or witty Chris Whittingham.

[B]

Not an insult.

[D]

Not an insult.

[F]

Looking for that invite.

[D]

Don't mean it as an insult. Much like Zaslow gets second half embarrassment. Or secondhand embarrassment. Excuse me. Do you guys. There's only one thing that I react to in the movies. It's knives. It's blades. I get uncomfortable with what we just saw where I'm seeing somebody impaled, and it makes me secondhand uncomfortable. It's literally the only thing that happens in the movie. Piercings that are meant to puncture.

[F]

Buddy, I know it's not your cup of tea, but don't ever start watching Game of Thrones then, because someone gets stabbed every episode.

[I]

Beheaded.

[D]

Even you guys. Am I the only one among us who has this particular ridiculous squeamishness? It's a silly squeamishness I understand, but somebody gets shaved in a prison. Like, there's a secondhand discomfort that I'm getting from those things if they're graphic. Like, this was where a dude is punctured and walking around with a puncturing for miles. Like, I'm left physically uncomfortable by that. There was a scene in Saving Private Ryan where the Knife. There was a fight inside of an old building.

[G]

Yeah, yeah. In the tower.

[D]

Yeah, in the tower. And slowly, slowly that knife went into him. Oh, man, that was.

[A]

That's gruesome.

[D]

But I'm the only one here. All of you are fine with it.

[F]

I'll meet you halfway, Dan. If I had to be attacked and either get shot or stabbed, I'm taking the shooting. I've always felt that way. I'm like, you know what? Just go ahead and shoot. Don't stab me. Just go ahead and shoot.

[D]

It's too intimate. Somebody stabs you, it's too intimate. It's. First of all, it's hard to kill somebody by stabbing them. Like, you got to work at it.

[G]

Looks like it hurts.

[D]

It's too. It's too intimate.

[I]

Intimate. What a weird word to use that text or what?

[D]

It's a fine little ding on your phone there.

[E]

Do what now?

[I]

Did not ding.

[F]

Yeah, there you go, Greg. Because they just assumed it was you. They just want you to take the blame.

[I]

Thank you. Why.

[F]

Why are you just all pointing at. At Greg?

[I]

Thank you. Wouldn't me.

[D]

I just heard. Your phone just made another sound.

[I]

I know it did.

[D]

Was it as you, Shaggy? As you.

[I]

Okay, my wife's calling me. Could be an emergency.

[F]

Take the call online.

[I]

On air.

[F]

On air. Take.

[D]

It wasn't me. He just said as his phone continued to make.

[I]

I'm bad. I'm red.

[C]

What?

[I]

I don't know.

[F]

Greg, you got to take this call. Your wife knows you're here for her to call you. That's not an accident. That's not. Hey, did you take out the chicken from the freezer?

[D]

Let me get to these LeBron details.

[F]

Dude, this is urgent. I'm not even doing a bit here, guys. Take the call. She's calling him twice. Dan. She knows where he at. She won't call.

[I]

I can't take the call. I have a feeling I know why she's calling, so don't worry about it.

[F]

Why?

[I]

Because we're having an important delivery today, and she's probably calling me to say, hey, it's on the front porch. Now get home.

[D]

How much is the fine here? How much is the fine for Greg? Cody denying that it wasn't me. And then his phone keeps making noises, and it is him, and he's. Shaggy.

[I]

Wasn't me. It wasn't me.

[F]

It wasn't me on the sofa.

[D]

News story from Dave McMenamin on LeBron. One of the things that he's saying. Among the surprising suitors along the way, the Celtics, LeBron's consistent nemesis throughout the years, expressed interest. Sources told ESPN. The Clippers discussed a lucrative one season contract worth north of $20 million that would have allowed him to stay at his home in California. And another detail. If LeBron fulfills his two year deal with Philadelphia, he will have played 25 years in the league, a full 10 more than Jordan and Rich Paul told ESPN. I think Philadelphia is going to energize him. Maybe we got two seasons, maybe we get four.

[F]

How about that From Rich.

[G]

Wow.

[F]

How about that? Maybe four.

[G]

It's amazing, man. Like back when I was, you know, in the 90s, you're watching basketball. If a dude got to his early 30s, it's like, oh, his career is almost over.

[I]

Right.

[G]

You know, you're 32. This is about to be the end of the world.

[D]

Well, this is what's interesting to me about what's happening with the Rams. Like, everyone's assuming Stafford's just going to be the MVP again. When Stafford kind of at this age, this is where they all, except Brady, go right into the toilet, like. And no one's expecting that. No, no one sees that coming. No one suspects it, no one assumes it. Everyone thinks Stafford's just going to look like the mvp when at this age, all quarterbacks except Brady get bad.

[E]

And the start of last year he thought about retirement because his back was so bad, he wasn't practicing whatsoever. And then he had an MVP season.

[D]

You guys explained that one to me. The Rams are all in. All in. All in on an age at quarterback that usually gets you nuked. Except for Tom Brad, throughout the history

[G]

of the sport, I mean, he was still awesome last year. So they assume he's going to continue to be awesome until he's not.

[I]

I think the rules have changed. Brady, Lionel Messi, LeBron, I mean, we see so many examples now of those

[G]

three, we're talking about like the all time greatest at the sport.

[I]

Yeah.

[D]

You guys are willing to say all time greatest are no longer outliers. It's the norm. It's going to be Diana Taurasi, it's going to be Serena Williams.

[C]

Every.

[D]

All of these people are going to be able to play into their late 30s and early 40s.

[H]

40s.

[D]

It's gonna be nor. It's normal. You can still be the greatest at 40.

[E]

Chuck Zink, born Charles Dwayne Zink.

[F]

Dwayne, like a black guy.

[E]

Yeah.