Greg Cote's Catchphrase List Is Starting To Climax | Hour 2

Summary

Episode Overview

Podcast: The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Episode: Greg Cote's Catchphrase List Is Starting To Climax | Hour 2
Date: May 6, 2026
Theme:
Broadcasting from the Elser Hotel in Downtown Miami, Dan Le Batard, Stugotz, Greg Cote, and their ensemble deliver their unique, humorous takes on sports, pop culture, and everyday life. Hour 2 features a heartwarming story about beagle rescues, Greg Cote’s developing catchphrase list, the “Love Doctor” segment for relationship advice, and an extended, fiery discussion of Draymond Green vs. Austin Rivers, branching into NBA player roles, sacrifice, ambition, and media feuds – all flavored with the show’s trademark banter.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

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1. Beagle Rescue Operation

[01:38-05:02]

Highlights:

• Stugotz shares a recent animal welfare story: A Wisconsin breeding/testing facility (Ridgeland Farms) was shut down thanks to Big Dog Ranch Rescue (from South Florida), saving 1,500 beagles.
• Importance of fostering/adoption: 500+ beagles are soon ready for homes in South Florida.

Notable Quotes:

• Stugotz: “If you are interested in fostering or you’ve thought about getting a dog, this is such a great cause, and I hope you check it out.” [03:36]
• Mike Ryan: “You know what’s funny? The term ‘rescue dog’…I thought it meant dogs trained to rescue people!” [03:50]
• Greg Cody (joking): “Aren’t these beagles all injected with various diseases? Like, ‘Hey, I got a beagle who has lupus.’” [04:29]

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2. Twin Talk: Chris Cody vs. the Firefighter

[05:02-07:06]

Highlights:

• Greg Cody grills Chris Cody about his wife’s twin sister and her firefighter husband.
• Banter about "who’s better looking": Chris vs. the firefighter.
• Awkward/funny moments as the hosts debate whether Chris Cody’s wife “picked the right twin.”

Notable Quotes:

• Greg Cody: “Who do you like better? The firefighter. Chris Cody, who do you like better?” [06:05]
• Chris Cody: “I’ll say me just to save face.” [06:14]
• Mike Ryan (sarcastic): “We want Chris Cody’s lovely wife to find out not only does her husband fantasize about her twin, but also that she picked the wrong husband.” [06:34]

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3. Ted Turner’s Legacy

[07:06-09:11]

Highlights:

• News break: Ted Turner (media mogul, Superstation TBS founder) has passed away.
• Panel reminisces on Turner's impact: Braves’ widespread fandom due to TBS broadcasts starting at ':05', and national reach of Cubs via WGN.

Notable Quotes:

• Mike Ryan: “He invented Superstation. TBS. That’s the reason why there are millions of Braves fans despite never having set foot in Georgia.” [07:32]
• Greg Cody: “That TBS make-everybody-a-Braves-fan gambit didn’t really work over the long haul, did it?” [07:56]

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4. Greg Cote’s Catchphrase List — “Climax” Approaches

[10:10-13:43]

Highlights:

• Greg Cote reveals numbers 16 and 15 on his evolving catchphrase list, counting backward from 50.
• The segment is a rapid-fire run-through of his offbeat catchphrases, prompting inside jokes and group laughter.

Notable Quotes (catchphrases):

• “I’m Fullerton. Vern Fuller.”

• “Where’s my click click?”

• “Nice hat, asshole.”

• “Would you learn?”

• (Reaches #15): “Trailers for Sailor.”

• Chris Cody: “We’re getting to the portion of the concert where it’s just banger after banger.” [12:43]

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5. “Love Doctor” with Greg Cote

[09:11, 31:28, 42:47]

Highlights:

• Audience Q&A segment: Listeners call in for relationship advice, often tied to Mother’s Day.
• Greg delivers intentionally goofy, occasionally sincere advice, in his “Love Doctor” persona.

Notable Advice & Quotes:

• On buying a Mother’s Day gift for your ex-wife:
  “The gifts you buy your ex-wife that are supposedly from your children should be such cheap and monumentally rotten gifts that they make your vindictive, conspicuous non-gift seem great by comparison.” – Dan Le Batard (as the Love Doctor) [09:42]
• On asking someone to be your girlfriend:
  “You do it without words. Spell out ‘Would you be my girlfriend’ with 147 empty Miller Lite bottles.” [32:03]
• On bringing a fake date:
  “Don’t come off as desperate. The last thing you want to do is bring a fake date to Mother’s Day. You want to bring two fake dates. Super touchy. Super flirty. Mom won’t ever push you to have a boyfriend again.” [42:57]

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6. NBA Beef: Draymond Green vs. Austin Rivers

[18:16-41:21]

Highlights:

• Draymond Green’s podcast comments: Claims Steve Kerr “hindered” his offensive potential; calls out Austin Rivers.
• Austin Rivers’ rebuttal: Boasts about high school/college accolades, takes offense to Draymond’s comments.
• Hosts dissect the beef:
  • Draymond’s “bait” about high school being Rivers’ career peak.
  • Discussion of NBA role players, sacrifice, and self-awareness.
  • How decisions affect player trajectories, like McGrady’s leap to Orlando.
• Critical lens on athlete media feuds: Are such arguments meaningful or just “Al Bundy” syndrome about the glory days?

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments:

• Draymond Green:
  “We averaged the same amount of points in high school. I say high school because that’s when you were at your best.” [19:54]

• Austin Rivers:
  “We weren’t the same players in high school… I was ranked number one. You were ranked, I don’t know. So cut it out.” [21:44]

• Mike Ryan:
  “There is nothing lamer than high school glory days guy. I mean, we’re 20 years removed. What are we doing?” [22:17]

• “This is Al Bundy, ladies and gentlemen. Al Bundy talking about the four touchdowns at Polka.” [24:51]

• Mike Ryan, advice:
  “The most important question every player needs to answer truthfully is: who am I?” [37:53]

• Amin Elhassan:
  “When you play team sports, sacrifice comes up all the time. The best version of yourself isn’t always congruent with the team concept.” [34:39]
  “In basketball, when you have players that are fed the royal jelly…the anointed, like Victor Wembanyama, Anthony Edwards... Draymond wasn't that guy.” [39:10]

• On player self-assessment:
  “If you answer [Who am I?] incorrectly, you end up like Austin Rivers… Draymond accepted his role and is a Hall of Famer.” [37:53]

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7. Philosophy of NBA Roles & Ambition

[39:06-42:47]

Highlights:

• Role players vs. stars: When to “sacrifice” for the team vs. maximize self.
• Examples: Draymond, Rudy Gobert, Rick Fox, Kurt Rambis, Tracy McGrady, Jalen Brunson, Trevor Ariza.
• The “Royal Jelly” concept: How teams focus development resources on chosen stars.
• Cautionary tales: Ambitious moves that did/didn’t work.

Notable Quotes:

• Amin: “In bee colonies, the bee that’s going to be queen gets the royal jelly…the very highest grade... In basketball, the same applies to certain gifted or anointed players.” [39:10]
• On Tracy McGrady: “That decision to go to Orlando changed his entire life—sometimes you have to leave comfort to find your ceiling.” [41:21]
• Jeremy: “It’s the intellectual seesaw of do I want to win, or do I want to have my cake and eat it too on a great team or be the best player on a team that may not be as great?” [40:42]

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Memorable Moments

• Comic relief throughout: The panel’s unsparing banter, especially Greg and Chris Cody’s dueling over twin spouses, frequent callbacks to odd catchphrases, and the group’s delight in the intentionally absurd “Love Doctor” advice.
• Meta-media jokes:
  • "If you don't have a podcast, you're a huge loser." [18:50]
  • Recapping NBA and sports media beef as performative—“None of this advances the conversation about basketball.” [34:01]
• Inside jokes & call-backs:
  • The catchphrase rundown is presented as a “concert” entering the hit single phase (“banger after banger” [12:43]).
  • Ongoing play with “I’m the kind of guy that…” stories (e.g., climbing a ladder to imagine being tall [14:07]).

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Detailed Timestamps of Major Segments

| Segment | Key Timestamps | Highlights | |-----------------------------------|---------------------|------------| | Beagle Rescue Story | 01:38-05:02 | Stugotz on animal welfare, fostering plea | | Cody Family Twin Banter | 05:02-07:06 | Chris vs. Firefighter | | Ted Turner/TV Nostalgia | 07:06-09:11 | TBS, Braves, Cubs | | The Love Doctor: Q1 | 09:11 | Mother’s Day advice for ex-wives | | Greg Cote Catchphrase List | 10:10-13:43 | Counting down to #15 | | The Love Doctor: “Who’s Handsomer?” | 12:58-13:43 | More twin/family banter | | Draymond vs. Austin Rivers Drama | 18:16-41:21 | Breakdowns, philosophy, personal anecdotes | | NBA Player Development (“Royal Jelly”) | 39:10-41:21 | Player development, role dilemma | | The Love Doctor: Q2 & Q3 | 31:28, 42:47 | Relationship advice, fake dates | | Wrap-up Banter | 44:05+ | Show's closing bits |

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Final Thoughts

This episode seamlessly blends irreverent humor, sharp insights on sports/media culture, and recurring show in-jokes. Stugotz’s animal rescue story injects genuine heart, while the various “Love Doctor” bits and family squabbles keep things light. The heated Draymond Green/Austin Rivers debate prompts nuanced discussion on athlete psychology, ambition, and sacrifice—juxtaposed with the panel’s penchant for self-deprecating asides and comedic detours.

Perfect for fans who want both laughs and meaningful sports insight, peppered with the Cody family’s special brand of chaos.

Transcript

[Mike Ryan]

Focus features in Blumhouse Obsession. When I have a crush on a

[Dan LeBatard]

guy no one knows, be careful.

[Stugats]

I wish Nikki loved me more than

[Mike Ryan]

anyone in the entire world. Who you wish for obsession is 96% fresh on rotten Tomatoes.

[Dan LeBatard]

I love you so so so so much.

[Mike Ryan]

It's blood soaked nightmare fuel.

[Stugats]

Brooke's blood you put on her.

[Mike Ryan]

You have been warned. Obsession. Rated R under 17 animated without parent only theaters May 15 with special engagements in Dolby.

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[Depop Announcer]

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[Dan LeBatard]

This is the Dan Levatar show with the Stugats podcast.

[Stugats]

I want to mention something real quick here before we get back to the love doctor. I don't know if you guys, if you guys have been seeing on the news, on social media or whatever, but I one of my dogs, I have two dogs. One of my dogs is rescue and as a result, like you know, a lot of my algorithm, you know, it's a lot of boobs. But also there's like rescue dog stuff that's on my algorithm, which is great. All right. Cuz I love rescue dogs. And so there is. You may have seen on the news there was a test, a breeding facility in Wisconsin called Ridgeland Farms that tests beagles. They do all kinds of tests on beagles.

[Mike Ryan]

Like 40 time.

[Stugats]

No you know what kind of tests I'm talking about. And they breed these beagles. Thousands of beagles. And they just live in cages, these beagles. And they don't go outside, nothing. They're just bred and they're used for testing. Well, there was an anim rescue down here actually called Big Dog Ranch Rescue. It's based down here. And they negotiated essentially a buyout with this Ridgeland Farms, where they are essentially shutting them down. They bought them out. And so they have taken all of these beagles, like 1500 beagles, and they partnered with some other rescues around the country. But like I said, the main one is down here.

[Mike Ryan]

Wait a second. You're telling me all I gotta do is start a farm with a bunch of beagles and tell people I'm testing them and someone will come give me money to make me stop doing. I'll just keep doing it.

[Stugats]

All right, so this. This Big Dog Ranch Rescue has facilitated this. And you could see in the video, I mean, I used to have a beagle. They're such gorgeous dogs, these dogs. You look at them, they are. They are beautiful. And down here in South Florida, this Rescue has like 5, 500 of these beagles that are soon going to be ready for fostering and. Or adopting. They're such gorgeous dogs. They're beautiful dogs. Yeah, I love beagles. And so I just wanted to put it out there. If you are interested in. In fostering or you've thought about getting a dog. This is such a great cause, and I hope you check it out.

[Mike Ryan]

I'm thinking about getting a lot of dogs and. And then just testing them. I won't tell people.

[Stugats]

All right. What's the matter with you?

[Mike Ryan]

You know what's funny? The term rescue dog. I swear to God, I'm not trying to be funny. Maybe like four or five years ago. Up until four or five years ago, I thought it meant that these dogs were, like, trained to rescue people. It's a rescue dog.

[Dan LeBatard]

I was like, wow.

[Mike Ryan]

I'm like, it got a little small to be. I don't know, man. Maybe just. It's like Lassie. It alerts people or whatever. And so finally someone's like, no, no, no, no. We rescued them. I was like, oh, wouldn't it be rescued dog as opposed to rescue dog? Rescue dog sounds like it's rescuing rescued means it was rescued.

[Chris Cody]

Michelle Beagle.

[Stugats]

Well, it's because they come from an animal rescue, so they're rescued dogs.

[Greg Cody]

But aren't they. I think this is a lovely thing and good for you to promote it and all that. But aren't they. Aren't these beagles all injected with various diseases? Like, hey, I got a beagle who has lupus.

[Stugats]

I. I'm sure they're all being checked out, and hopefully, you know, they're okay, but I mean, these dogs. And if you see in the videos again, like, it's all over social media, all over the news. They've never even been outside. They're touching grass for the first time. They're such beautiful dogs. And I highly recommend.

[Mike Ryan]

Wait a second. They've never been outside. That dog can't be well adjusted.

[Greg Cody]

You're right.

[Mike Ryan]

They're going home, and it's gonna be like, ah, what's this?

[Stugats]

You're right.

[Greg Cody]

Mean has taken on an important cause, trying to denounce these beagles. These poor, abused beagles. I have a question.

[Mike]

I'm glad that Zaz is finally getting support.

[Greg Cody]

Ms. Cody, I have a question for you. Is your wife.

[Dan LeBatard]

Here we go.

[Greg Cody]

Twin sister. Married.

[Chris Cody]

Yes, she is.

[Greg Cody]

And I obviously assume you've spent a fair amount of time on this guy to a fire, and he's.

[Chris Cody]

He's in the ginger. He's not a purebred.

[Stugats]

Oh, so this is a fetishization.

[Chris Cody]

He's a ginger mutt.

[Greg Cody]

So. So, wow. So. So they both see gingers now. The twin sister went fireman.

[Mike]

Yes.

[Chris Cody]

And my wife went.

[Greg Cody]

People like, producer. People like. I've noticed a lot of women like to say, like, oh, those firefighters, boy, they get those calendars, hang them up.

[Chris Cody]

He's all right, though. He's not one of the good ones.

[Greg Cody]

You don't. Have you done the math on that? I mean, they. It's a pretty easy evaluation. They look exactly alike. But I like her a little bit more because of her whimsical sense of humor. I don't.

[Chris Cody]

I'm kind of done with this game.

[Greg Cody]

What is? What is? What is? Who do you like better? The firefighter. Chris Cody, who do you like better?

[Dan LeBatard]

Wow.

[Chris Cody]

I'll say me just to save face.

[Greg Cody]

Who would you go for? Who won? Can you objectively do have a photo of this guy? Do you have a photo of the firefighter?

[Mike]

I don't want to do this.

[Greg Cody]

I'd like. Well, I would like to do it. I'd like to see a side by side, and I'd like to vote which way you. Which. Which way we would all go. So Cody or this unknown firefighter.

[Mike Ryan]

So, Dave, just to be clear, we want for Chris, Cody's lovely wife, to find out not only does her husband fantasize about her. Her twin sister, but also that she picked the wrong husband.

[Greg Cody]

Hey, what's good? What's good for the goose is good for the gander. Says the guy who talks like a goose.

[Chris Cody]

I can tell you she got the good one.

[Mike Ryan]

Whoa, hold on. What's wrong with the firefighter? Hold on.

[Chris Cody]

No, I just.

[Dan LeBatard]

I'm.

[Chris Cody]

I'm got to. I've got to be on team Me. If I'm not on team Me, who's on team Me?

[Greg Cody]

Can we get a picture of this guy and we'll make decision who's better?

[Mike]

Ted Turner, the larger than life media mogul who revolutionized cable television and the Monday night wars has passed away.

[DraftKings Announcer]

Wow.

[Stugats]

Seven years old.

[Mike]

I could have sworn he died long ago.

[Greg Cody]

Me too. Me too.

[Stugats]

Was he still married to Jane Fonda?

[Dan LeBatard]

No. Right?

[Mike Ryan]

Come on, man.

[Stugats]

What do you mean, come on? That's like a known thing.

[Mike]

Hanoi Jane

[Stugats]

invented the superstation.

[Mike Ryan]

He invented superstition. Tbs.

[Dan LeBatard]

Yep.

[Mike Ryan]

That's the reason why there are millions of Braves fans.

[Greg Cody]

Yep.

[Mike Ryan]

Despite never having set foot in the state of Georgia.

[Stugats]

Remember when TBS, when Superstation, all the shows used to start at 05?

[Dan LeBatard]

Yep.

[Mike Ryan]

Really?

[Stugats]

Really? You didn't know that?

[Mike Ryan]

I thought that was weird.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Dan LeBatard]

Yeah.

[Stugats]

They start a few minutes after the hour.

[Mike]

Beverly Hill, Billy's 6:05 Eastern.05.

[Stugats]

That's right.

[Mike Ryan]

I've never noticed that. Yeah.

[Greg Cody]

Oh, that TBS, make everybody a Braves fan gambit didn't really work out over the long haul, did it? I don't know very many Braves fans.

[Mike]

I know some because I think you're

[Chris Cody]

wrong down here in South Florida.

[Greg Cody]

I think it absolutely worked for a minute there.

[Stugats]

It has to be somewhere where there wasn't a team. Like here.

[Mike]

Yeah, my generation, they kind of had that a little bit and kind of grew up simultaneously, like in the Marlins and the Braves. And also it lined up with the Braves kind of having a dominant 90s.

[Mike Ryan]

But also, like, if you're from Tennessee, South Carolina, North Carolina, Alabama, Mississippi, you

[Stugats]

didn't have a team.

[Mike Ryan]

Like, you didn't have a team. So that was a team I was on. In the same way that people from Iowa. Same people. People from Iowa are all Bulls and Cubs fans. Because of the wgn.

[Mike]

Yeah. When I went to the doctor years ago when I was a little kid, they had WGN and there were a ton of.

[Stugats]

I was a Cubs fan growing up because of wgm before we had the Marlin.

[Chris Cody]

That's not what he looks like.

[Mike Ryan]

I just saw. Holy shit.

[Greg Cody]

I think that's what happened. I think the Cubs got that. They got in on the Braves business and trumped them. I think people said, oh, Harry Carey's way better than. Than the fellas calling the game for the Braves. And now we're all Cubs fans. They became America's team.

[Mike]

Skip Kerry, you Can have a second team in baseball.

[Stugats]

We have a lot of listeners who are trying to get questions in to the very busy love doctor. The love doctor, of course, is Greg Cody. Greg, are you ready to field another question here from one of our list? One of your patients?

[Dan LeBatard]

Let's go.

[Mike Ryan]

Hey, this is that. Just wondering if you are obligated to get your ex wife a mother's day gift outside of the gifts you get that are supposedly from the children.

[Dan LeBatard]

Oh, wow. I think a lot of this depends on whether you're happily divorced or not. But let's keep this simple. The gifts that you buy your ex wife that are supposedly from your children should be such cheap and monumentally rotten gifts that they make your vindictive, conspicuous non gift seem great by comparison. Do it.

[Stugats]

Wonderful advice, Greg. While we have some time here though, there was a new episode, of course, the Greg Cody show featuring Greg Cody. Can we update your catchphrase list?

[Dan LeBatard]

Sure, I just happen to have it with me.

[Stugats]

What numbers are we on now? 15 and 16. Does that sound about right?

[Dan LeBatard]

We are on 16 and 15. We go sequentially in. In reverse order. So 16 and 15, I mean it

[Stugats]

was not a necessary correction.

[Dan LeBatard]

Yeah, well, you know I'm a perfectionist.

[Stugats]

Yeah. All right, all right, let's. Let's just get right to. We don't have to go from 50, right? Let's just get right to it, right? Do we want it? Do you want to count from 50? What do you think, Chris?

[Chris Cody]

It's this thing.

[Mike Ryan]

All right, all right.

[Stugats]

It's just. Are you ready to count from 50? You ready to do the whole thing?

[Dan LeBatard]

Yeah, I'll do it quickly because there's quite a few here. Number 50. I'm Fullerton. Vern Fuller. 49. Where's my click click? 48. Hey, Butterfinger. 47. Punt. 46. Scranton. 45. I'm busy in a one arm paper hanger. 44. George up, Georgia. 43. I'm the kind of guy that. 42, ball on the jack. 41. Hey, hey, with the monkeys, baby. 40. Thank you, Billy. 39. I love him like a pet. 38. Who made it a salad? 37. We're rolling now, huh? 36. Your brain beating me? 35. Let's go States. 34. Driver comfort is paramount. 33, dummy up, save up. 32 catches, catch can. 31 doesn't make it right. 30. So on so forth.

[Stugats]

30.

[Dan LeBatard]

29. Very good. 28. The Little League Theory. 27. Nice hat, asshole. 26. The others, they all learn from me. 25. Don't go showering to try to please me. 24. Look at that jerk. 23. It's like a packing house in here. There should be hams Hanging from hooks. 22. Would you learn? 21.

[Draymond Green]

Hee Haw.

[Mike Ryan]

3.

[Dan LeBatard]

Badap. 20. I'm not gonna take a quiz. 19. Sassafras. 18. What we do? Break a window. 17. Hello. And now number 16.

[Chris Cody]

Who won?

[Mike]

Okay, they just played Free Bird.

[Dan LeBatard]

And number 15. Trailers for sailor.

[Greg Cody]

Yeah.

[Dan LeBatard]

Rules to let. 50 cents. That's how it was back in my day.

[Chris Cody]

We're getting to the portion of the concert where it's just banger after banger.

[Mike]

Lighters are out, Pants are off.

[Dan LeBatard]

Banging it.

[Stugats]

What do we got? We have like another seven weeks, then maybe.

[Dan LeBatard]

Yes. Yes.

[Stugats]

Yeah. All right.

[Dan LeBatard]

Yeah. We drag this thing on. We drag it on, baby.

[Stugats]

All right.

[Greg Cody]

Hey, Dr. Love. Who's more handsome, Chris or the firefighter?

[Dan LeBatard]

Well, you are really trying to dig a deeper hole here, aren't you? For. For my poor son. I'm gonna take the fifth amendment.

[Chris Cody]

I don't like. You should just say me. You should say me.

[Dan LeBatard]

You.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah,

[Dan LeBatard]

of course.

[Mike Ryan]

Don't make it right.

[Dan LeBatard]

It does make it right. Oh, wait a minute. That was my. My inside voice. Look at that jerk. How do I look in this hat, by the way? Great. Normally I only wear this when I'm doing surgery. I just had an old fashioned to sort of calm my nerves. But because I'm. I'm going into the op room right after. Right after we do this bit.

[Jeremy]

Greg, you could pass for a doctor.

[Dan LeBatard]

Thank you.

[Jeremy]

I look at you and I'm like, you know what? That's the kind of guy. You're the kind of guy that could pass for a doctor.

[Dan LeBatard]

I'm the kind of guy that should have a scalpel in his hand.

[Chris Cody]

Exactly.

[Mike Ryan]

Right.

[Dan LeBatard]

Yeah.

[Jeremy]

A couple old fashions.

[Chris Cody]

By the way, we started on the Greg Cody show this week, a segment called I'm the kind of guy that. Where you just go around and we all say things that. We're the kind of guy that.

[Dan LeBatard]

Oh, I like that.

[Jeremy]

That's a good bit. Can we steal that bit?

[Chris Cody]

I think Greg's. I think one dad you had was. I'm the kind of guy that likes to climb ladders.

[Dan LeBatard]

Yes, that's correct. Yeah. And I told the story about. And. And this is a hand on heart, a true story. I'm the kind of guy that will climb a step ladder alone in his garage up two steps to try to envision how it would look to be Victor Wembanyama or somebody extra tall. I like to imagine myself as being extraordinarily tall, so the easy way to do it is to climb two steps on a ladder. Everybody should try that. You know, everybody relate. Relate to the taller.

[Chris Cody]

Can you also try talking directly into the mic and not the side of it?

[Dan LeBatard]

Oh, sorry. Okay. It's. It's much. It's. It's natural to do this for me. You know what I mean?

[Mike]

Yeah, but that doesn't work for audio.

[Dan LeBatard]

Hey, that kind of thing. Am I right, Roy?

[Stugats]

Whoa.

[Mike Ryan]

You look like a gangster shooting the gun sideways.

[Dan LeBatard]

Because it looks cooler, baby. All right, nice chatting with you.

[Stugats]

All right, we'll be back with more Dr. Greg Cody.

[Mike]

some point the other night, I was staying in. At least that was a plan. Then the text from my buddy Eagle Eye comes in. Mike, we've got the games on. I say, yeah. I grab a pack of Miller Lite, and immediately my plan's gone. Now it's playoff basketball. Every possession feels huge. Baseball's on another screen, and I. I somehow care about that, too. Everybody's got takes flying. Nobody's watching. Just one thing, and we're all wa. More into it than we ever expected. It was one of those nights that you take a sip, you look around, and you think, yeah, this was the right move. That's why I reached for Miller Lite. It's clean, refreshing, easy to drink, rude for taste, with simple ingredients, just 96 calories and 3.2 carbs. The original light beer since 1975. And it still hits different cheers to legendary moments with Miller Lite. Great taste. 96 calories. Go to millerlight.com dan to find delivery options near you. Or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. It's Miller time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Co. Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories, 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.

[Quince Announcer]

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[Dan LeBatard]

Don LeBatard Baker Mayfield tearing up Tampa Bay 38 for 45 Stugats Shredom this

[Stugats]

is the Dan Levatar show with the Stugats Foreign. Have you seen It's a pretty nasty beef right now, sport? Well, I don't know. I guess like sports media beef? No, NBA player beef.

[Mike Ryan]

NBA player beef.

[Stugats]

Is that the best way to put it?

[Mike Ryan]

Just because they have media outlets that they use to project this stuff doesn't make a media be.

[Stugats]

It's kind of nasty right now between Draymond Green and Austin Rivers. So if I can give a little context here, we all saw it was like a week ago. Draymond Green's got a podcast. Because everyone has a podcast. If you don't, you're a huge loser. And Draymond Green on the Draymond Green show was talking about Steve Kerr. And what stood out was he said Steve Kerr hindered part of his career, that he could have been a better offensive player if not for Steve Kerr holding him back. And on the Dan Patrick Show, Austin Rivers, who's now strictly like media. He's NBC. You know, Peacock does the games. Austin Rivers, I guess, was, you know, didn't think that was, you know, respectful thing to say, I guess, about Steve Kerr and all that he has done for Draymond Green's career. So here was Draymond. If I can give you a little backstory here. Here was Draymond responding to Austin Rivers.

[Draymond Green]

You know, I saw. He said he's bewildered. And it's ridiculous of what I said. And I just find it interesting that a guy who was the 10th pick in my draft, I was 35, who's on his second act, still on act one, he goes, Draymond, never been a scorer. Austin, you and I averaged the same amount of points in high school. I say high school because that's when you were at your best. And then in college, you know, he was still good. He was very featured at Duke because NBA careers. Should he really talk about my NBA career? I'm still with my first team. He was gone from his first team in two years. The guy received the biggest bailout in US History prior to President Trump bailing out the airlines when his dad gave him $42 million.

[Mike]

All right, so an ally with our airline stance. Yeah, it's really growing in momentum.

[Mike Ryan]

Love, Draymond.

[Stugats]

So now Austin Reeves, of course, Austin Rivers.

[Mike Ryan]

Austin Reeves is a white guy.

[Stugats]

Excuse me.

[Greg Cody]

Excuse me.

[Mike]

With zero muscle definition.

[Stugats]

Austin Rivers has to.

[Greg Cody]

Austin is a lousy name for a baby and a grown up.

[Dan LeBatard]

Right.

[Mike Ryan]

I agree.

[Greg Cody]

What? Austin the baby. That's. That's what you're going to name it. Weird.

[Mike]

Austin Matthews.

[Greg Cody]

Not interested. And also Austin the grown man.

[Stugats]

Yes.

[Greg Cody]

We're workshopping here.

[Jeremy]

I know a big Austin, like an older Austin, like a 30s Austin. And I'm like, oh, we don't call. We don't call him awesome.

[Mike Ryan]

We call him coacher.

[Greg Cody]

Hey, you got to change it.

[Mike]

You don't want to coach.

[Mike Ryan]

He's a coach.

[Jeremy]

So we call him coacher because we don't like Austin. Yeah, Austin's.

[Chris Cody]

We go hardy are, huh?

[Dan LeBatard]

Yeah, we do.

[Mike Ryan]

Coacher.

[Stugats]

So Austin Rivers has to respond now. So here's a little bit of Austin Rivers because it's like he went at Draymond. So here's Austin Rivers on the comparison of their early careers, belittling my career.

[Mike Ryan]

First off, Draymond we weren't the same players in high school. I don't care about our numbers being similar. I did it at the national level, the top level. Hence why I got the Naismith Award and I got pretty much every award you can think of in high school. I was ranked number one. You were ranked. I don't know. So cut it out. Next, college. You actually were a solid. You actually a really good college basketball player. But it's hard to compare because I was only there for six months. Something you could never do. Talk about. I was, you know, one of the featured guys. No, I was the guy. I led my team in scoring. I was first team all acc, freshman player of the year, lottery pick. Stop.

[Dan LeBatard]

All right.

[Mike]

I think everyone agrees, and I can't believe we're talking about this with at a certain point in time, world class athletes. There is nothing lamer than high school glory days, guy. I mean, we're 20 years removed. What are we doing?

[Stugats]

Well, Draymond's one who brought it up.

[Mike]

Yeah, but come on. Like, your comeback is, like, in high school, I was better than you, pal. Like, what are we doing that is so lame, guys?

[Mike Ryan]

Draymond put a box with a twig and a little rope on it and put a banana. And dumbass Austin Rivers went in there like, oh, free banana. That was a trap. He said, I'm going to. We could compare high school because that was the best you've ever been in your life.

[Mike]

And then he proved it.

[Mike Ryan]

That was the peak of your life. And he said, even then we were peers. And also, no, we wasn't. Like, he just proved what a doofus you were. You had all the advantages. And we're not just talking about advantages of the starting point of being number one and number two in the high school class, but also the advantages of a father who not only played in the league, but coaches in the league. All the resources, all the money, the definition of born on third base and thinks he hit a triple. Austin Rivers. And he took it hook, line and sinker. We can have a conversation about Draymond and Steve Kerr. I think that's a more fascinating conversation to have than doofus with a microphone, like, trying to say, hey, I remember I dated the captain of the cheerleading team and all that. It's so dumb. Dude, you sound ridiculous. And again, full disclosure, I've had my run ins with Austin as well. And I told him, I was like, this is why nobody liked you, dude.

[Stugats]

Really?

[Mike Ryan]

I told him straight up, you could ask anyone. My teammates, like, trust me, why did

[Stugats]

you have a run in with him?

[Mike Ryan]

Well, so years and years ago, when Austin was playing poorly, I might add, I was very critical. Critical. Fair. Critical.

[Stugats]

On espn.

[Mike Ryan]

On espn, yeah.

[Greg Cody]

But wait, he's better at basketball than you, so who are you to step into that conversation, how that works? Well, I mean, listen, that's exactly what you're doing. You're taking Draymond's side because he's better than Austin Rivers, and so therefore, we should take Draymond's word over this.

[Mike Ryan]

No, no, no. That's not what I did, okay? What I said was, Draymond set the trap of, hey, let's talk about high school, because that's the peak of your career. And Austin, rather than saying, look, man, like, everyone was great in high school, took the bait and started beating his chest about his high school career.

[Greg Cody]

Yeah, that was dumb. I agree. He had a chip on his shoulder.

[Mike]

Pan to the naismith.

[Dan LeBatard]

He did.

[Chris Cody]

He gave a little lean.

[Dan LeBatard]

He did.

[Mike Ryan]

This is Al Bundy, ladies and gentlemen. This is Al Bundy talking about the four touchdowns at polka.

[Stugats]

Okay? So you and me. You. You said things on espn, so I said things.

[Mike Ryan]

And Austin's brother, who I think, well, I guess was on the Bucs staff, Spencer Rivers, I want to say his name, was, like, talking trash to me real time on Twitter while I'm, you know, I was talking about some game or whatever.

[Stugats]

While he's an assistant coach.

[Mike Ryan]

No, no, he was. He was in high school, college or whatever. He was. He was. Or whatever he was. I don't know what he was doing. Anyway, so he talked some shit. I was like, ah, whatever, dude. And then he's like, no, no, let's fight or whatever. I'm like, what are you talking about? And right as he said that, like, Austin blew a wide open dunk on espn, and I was like, oh, this is. Could not have framed this better. So I go to the Clipper game, the very next home Clipper game, I go to it, right? And so that's my thing. If I say stuff about players, look, I'm not going to go out on my own, travel cross country, but if I'm in town and you're in town, I'm going to go to the game. I sit there, and I'll just. I sit right there courtside. If you have something to say to me, you can come say to me to my face. It's happened several times over the course of my career. So I sit there, he comes out. He warms up. I'm not going to Interrupt his warm up. He doesn't see me or maybe ignores me or whatever, does his thing, whatever. I go to the back. The Clippers PR is like, oh, did you talk to Austin? I'm like, well, no, I'll tell Austin you're here. I'm like, okay, fine, tell him I'm here. I'm not. What am I? I'm not running away from this. So I end up in the back tunnel in Staples, outside the locker rooms. And one by one, people are coming out, right? And Chris Paul comes out and he looks at me, but he's got his kid with him. Like he wants to say something, but he's like, ah, whatever. And then Jeff Green walks out and he's just kind of like his eyes get wide.

[Stugats]

So, like, they all know that you said something about their teammate.

[Mike Ryan]

They all know, right?

[Stugats]

They all watch, they all watch, they all listen, they all read.

[Mike Ryan]

The last person who comes out is Austin. And Austin walks up to me and says, hey, man, have I done something to wrong you? I'm like, I was so tired. I'm ready for all right, here it comes. Whatever. And I was like, what? And he's like, no, I just feel like you really pick on me. And I said, nah, man, I'm. This is what I am. I'm critical. I do this to everybody. I'm not, you know, like, I might do it in an asshole way, but it's not personal. He's like, no, no, it feels personal with me. I said, it's not personal. And there's a couple beat writers. I'm like, so and so, is it personal? Am I just an asshole? And they're like, he's just an asshole. And then so and so are you. Same thing. And then, yeah, he's just an asshole. And then Jared Dudley comes out and I said, jared is a person. Am I just an asshole? And Jared says, no, he's an asshole. Let's kick his ass. So is he obviously joking? And Austin's like, no, no, no, no, no, don't do that. No, I don't. I don't think that's right. And I saw what my brother said, and I told him not to do that. And that's not cool. And as he's talking, I'm like, damn, man. Like, he seems like a pretty okay guy.

[Stugats]

Yeah, sounds like it to me.

[Mike Ryan]

I started to feel bad. And then he said, but I'm gonna win Most Improved Player. And I'm like, shut the up. And he walked on, right? And so for me, I've told That story for years about, like, yo, I thought it was gonna be contentious.

[Stugats]

It sound nice.

[Mike Ryan]

But he was real nice, right? Fast forward to some dumb ass, like, aggregator posted a video of my jump shot and was like, this man has the to convince the people on the NBA, but he shoots like this. Like, that's exactly how the guy sounded. I'm like, yo. So I'm like. So I'm like, okay, whatever. But one of the comments under it is, Austin Rivers, this guy's a bum, and he doesn't know what he's talking about. I'm like, word. You want to play that game? So I hit him back with like, yo, I hit him back. On weekend observations, I said, it's not my fault that nobody likes you, that your teammates didn't like playing with you, that you. That you think that the reason you're out of the league is the cba, but the real reason is because you just weren't that good enough to stick around. And, you know, and he's like, that's not true. My teammates, he did the same thing. And then I'm like, whatever, dude. So fast forward to this thing right here. He's talking. Draymond sets a bait, he falls for the bait. He falls in the banana and tailbipe, all that stuff, right? But the reality is Austin Rivers does not possess the self awareness to be properly critical of the game. Everything he says, you watch everyone listening to this right now. When you watch him do broadcasts, you're gonna notice everything he says is through the prism of, like, how I would have done it or what I did it or what. Like, he does not know how to just critique the game. It's always about him. Because he still thinks, damn, I should be out there. I guarantee you, he's watching these playoffs like, I'm better than that guy. I should be out there.

[Mike]

Hey, Roy, buddy.

[Dan LeBatard]

Yo.

[Mike]

You know that energy shift when the game gets good and everybody all together in unison knows to stand up on their feet? Oh, absolutely, Mike.

[Dan LeBatard]

Yeah.

[Mike]

You've been at many big time sporting events. You know that moment quite well. That's what it's like when you take your first sip of Cuervo.

[Mike Ryan]

Oh, delicious.

[Mike]

It's the signal that says, we're not checking the time anymore, pal. It's when small talk turns into stories. Cuervo, man. It's that high five. A random, stranger effect.

[Greg Cody]

That's right.

[Mike]

The game is popping. You're hugging people you never met before. That's the kind of energy that Cuervo brings. It's so Smooth. So delicious. That's the Cuervo effect. Keep it Cuervo.

[Jeremy]

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[Dan LeBatard]

Don LeBatard it's all about me.

[Mike Ryan]

Stugats.

[Dan LeBatard]

This is the Dan LeBatar show with the Stugats.

[Stugats]

Do you want to hear anything more of Austin Rivers? I mean, he went out Draymond Green's NBA career, too.

[Mike Ryan]

I, I think. No, I don't care what he has to say. I, I, I would like to have a conversation about Draymond and his, like, his comments, because I think they're fascinating.

[Stugats]

All right, well, first, let's check back in with the Love Doctor here. He's got an opening in his schedule now, so we may as well let another one of our listeners get in. A very important question with Mother's Day ahead for the Love Do Doctor.

[Mike Ryan]

I've been dating this new girl for about a month now.

[Dan LeBatard]

You've been doing a lot of, I

[Mike Ryan]

would say a lot of fun things, a lot of expensive things. And my question to you, Greg, Mr. Love Guru, is how do I ask this woman to be my girlfriend? She told me she already essentially said yes, I just gotta do it in a lovely way.

[Dan LeBatard]

Oh, man. I have just the way for you because it worked for me, okay? It's fail safe. Spit on it. Here's what you do you do it without words? You do it. You ask her without words. Here's the drill. Take your bestie out to the finest restaurant in town. Candlelight dinner, the whole nine yards. But the best part is yet to come. You take her back to your apartment, and then you imagine the look of delight on her face when you. When she sees that you have spelled out, would you be my girlfriend with 147 empty Miller light bottles.

[Stugats]

It's a white trash proposal, baby.

[Chris Cody]

Classy one.

[Dan LeBatard]

Damn right worked.

[Mike Ryan]

Is that in the window?

[Stugats]

Yo, why am I in the window?

[Mike Ryan]

I said, partner of the Dan Levitard show for most of its existence. We're gonna have a chat.

[Dan LeBatard]

Says, get out of my window.

[Stugats]

It's the other window.

[Dan LeBatard]

It's a peeping Tom over here. Peeping Zaz. Ridiculum it.

[Stugats]

All right. Thank you, love, doctor. Go ahead, Amin.

[Mike Ryan]

All right, so Draymond's thing is, like, Steve Kerr helped me. He helped me become a champion. But I can't help.

[Stugats]

But he's been a dick there.

[Mike Ryan]

No, man, no, because of course he is as being a dick about what Steve Kerr said or what he said

[Stugats]

about Steve Kerr, what he's saying Austin Rivers. Like, what's the point? Like. Like, instead of. Instead of reacting to what Austin Rivers said on the Dan Patrick show, he's. He's attacking the messenger instead of the message.

[Greg Cody]

That's exactly right. And by the way, Austin Rivers better response instead of taking the bait would have been like, hey, by the way, if we're getting into this, who are you to talk about football? Draymond Green. You never played pro football, right?

[Stugats]

Like, so such a tired. Like, we did this the other day, right? Where. No, you can't talk about this. So when Draymond Green. Draymond Green is going to be in television, right? Most likely when he's done with his career. So any. Like, we're talking about Jokic. Like, Traymond's not allowed to talk about Jokic, I guess, right?

[Greg Cody]

I mean, well, and I mean, Amin's never been the. The star of a movie, so who's he to talk about movies, right? I mean, if we start applying.

[Stugats]

No, no, it's not a good point.

[Mike Ryan]

The idea is this, that Draymond, again, is not even. It's like, I don't have to entertain what this guy is saying. And by the way, neither should we. Like I said, the more important and interesting conversation is what Draymond said about Steve Kerr, what he has to say about Austin Rivers. I don't give a shit, because Austin Rivers is irrelevant in that way. There's no part of this that advances the story or the idea of what Draymond is talking about, I guess. So in terms of what Draymond's talking about for Steve Kerr, say that Steve Kerr helped him, but in some ways hindered him. And it goes to the heart of, like when you play team sports, what is a word that comes up all the time? Sacrifice. Sacrifice, meaning I am going to give something up in order to be for the greater good of the team. The reality is that you being the best version of yourself isn't always congruent with the team concept. Years ago, Mike, remember I was telling you Dwayne Wade needs to change because he can still be Dwyane Wade puts up all those numbers, but this team's not going to be good. It can be good in service of that, but in terms of winning, that's not the best thing. The best thing is if he takes a smaller role, he ends up leaving. When he comes back, he embraces that smaller role. And I think the team was better off for it. So Draymond, I think it's fair to say he did that. He hindered his offensive development because that's not what the team needed from him. They needed to be a passer, they needed him to be a defender. They needed him to do all those things right. The year where Steve Kerr was hurt and Luke, Luke Walton was the head coach, Draymond shot almost 40% from three and he's putting up great numbers and was a driving force to a team that won 70 plus games. So it can't help but be in his mind, like, whoa, what would have happened if I had been allowed to continue down that path? Now, I maybe not be as successful winner had I done that. But in terms of like what we're talking about, Jalen Brown, like, how good am I? That's a question of course, every player has to think about.

[Greg Cody]

I think that this pairs up neatly with what Mike Ryan was talking about yesterday with Rudy Gobert and giving him his flowers. For now, two rounds of high end, you know, centers that are, you know, you would put on a piece of paper better than Rudy Gobert. I think Rudy Gobert is only playing two dimensional basketball. You're not asking him to be the three dimensional player that he's going up against. You're asking him to play defense. That focus on that, Rudy. You don't have to do anything at the other end of the floor. I think the most severe examples of that, I think are in Basketball, I always invoke Kurt Rambis. Kurt Rambis is not a rotational guy on bad teams, but he's a starter on the Lakers because he is. Do one thing. Kurt Rambis and Rick Fox, to a lesser degree, is also that on those Lakers teams, you're not. You're not. You're not in the six or seven first names mentioned by any coach, except in that Lakers situation. If you just do this one or one or two things for us, Rick, we're a better collective.

[Mike Ryan]

Well, Rick Fox is different because Rick Fox was actually the best player on the Celtics. Celtics weren't good, but he was like one of the players.

[Stugats]

I mean, it was like that.

[Mike Ryan]

Then he gets to LA and it's like, hey, we need you to fit this role. I talk about this all the time. The most important question every player needs to be able to answer accurately and truthfully is who am I? Because if you answer that question correctly, it will lead to the best possible kind of career in terms of helping the team be successful. If you answer incorrectly, you end up like Austin Rivers. Oh, like, well, I should be this. But you're not, right? And that's the key. Draymond Green accepted the answer to who am I? Is to do these things. And when we do these things, we're a championship team and I'm a Hall of Famer. But there's a part of him, of course, that's going to wonder, what if I had said, wait, hold on. I don't want to stunt my offensive growth. I want bigger roles. I want plays called for me. I want to find out where my limits are.

[Greg Cody]

I hear you, but he's. It sounds to me like he is putting himself into a Scottie Pippen type of level player. Were it not for me accepting being the one, a being the riding shotgun to the. To the guy on the team Scottie Pippen actually could elevate. I don't buy that Draymond Green is that for a half decade is the best player on a good team.

[Mike]

I think you can make the argument that Draymond Green's like the Michael Jordan of Robert Horry's.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah, look, Coach David Thorpe. Coach David Thorpe had this. This concept. He called it royal jelly, right? And in the. In bee colonies, the bee that is going to be queen, they feed her the royal jelly, the very highest grade of, like, the honey, because they want her to be big and strong and be a great queen, right? In basketball, like, when you have players that are fed the royal jelly, meaning we are exhausting all resources to maximize your development in every single way. Obviously, Victor Webanyama is the guy who's getting royal jelly. Obviously someone like Cooper Flagg is getting royal jelly. Anthony Edwards. These guys are like, these are anointed. Usually it's topics or whatever. Sometimes it's a guy that comes out of obscurity. So Kawhi Leonard wasn't a guy getting royal jelly. But at some point the spurs realized, oh, he's better than just a 3&D guy. Feed him the royal jelly. And then he turns into a superstar.

[Chris Cody]

Jalen Brunson.

[Mike Ryan]

Jalen Brunson is another good. There you go, right? So for Draymond Green, you're saying, I couldn't see him happening like that, and I agree with you. But a lot of that is because early in his career he wasn't fed royal deli, meaning not the time, the resources, the. And also the opportunity to try these things in game, right? And because he's not getting that, his growth is stunted and he grows up to be again, a Hall of Famer, but a very different kind of player than he would have been had we taken everything into saying, hey, we're going to make him the best possible player.

[Jeremy]

I mean, but it's the intellectual seesaw of do I want to win or do I want to have my cake and eat it too on a great team or be the best player on a team that may not be great, right? And it's like, how, how far can I push my limits? How far can I challenge myself? And we're looking at Jalen Brown being like, I can look at that Atlanta roster and maybe I can be the guy to get them over the hump, right? They made it to the, to the Eastern Conference finals a couple years ago. Maybe I'm the guy, the missing piece that's there. I've already done it here. I like, I'm not simulated here anymore.

[Greg Cody]

That's a great what he has done. Jalen Brunson has created a bunch of other guys around the league who thinks he did it. Maybe I could do it too. That's dangerous for the general managers of the NBA.

[Mike Ryan]

It's dangerous unless you pick the right one, right? And like, so Tracy McGrady. It's ironic that we had Tracy on with Vince on their podcast cuz they were teammates and Vince Carter was a global superstar. He was NBA darling, media hit, ratings every time he was on tv. And Tracy was a really good player. Like, oh, he's a good young player. It's his little cousin. They're cousins. They play together. Little cousin. Little cousin. Oh, little cousin's pretty good. And when Tracy decided to leave and go to Orlando, everyone said, what are you doing? You guys together? It's a great one, two duo. You guys are going to run the east in a couple years. Why would you leave to go to Orlando of all places? They're not good. They don't have anybody. And he goes there, and he's the number two bill guy, by the way, Grant Hill's the number one bill guy, but Grant Hill is hurt. So Tracy McGrady plays, and he plays a lot, and he has full control of the offense. And guess what we found out. Tracy McGrady pretty amazing at basketball. And that changes his entire life right there. That decision to say, I'm gonna leave comfort. I'm gonna leave where this thing is and where everyone tells me, you're good being just you. I'm gonna go take that chance. Now, there are countless examples of people who took the chance and flamed out. Trevor Ariza left the Lakers after winning a championship thinking he could be an All Star. He wasn't. Aaron Aflalo left the Nuggets thinking that he could be an All Star. He wasn't right. It happens a lot. But I don't fault guys, especially if they've already won, to kind of take that chance. I want to know where my limits are.

[Stugats]

Let's check back in with the love doctor here. We have another patient who needs that advice with Mother's Day this weekend. Go ahead.

[Mike Ryan]

Hey, Greg, is it okay to bring a fake date to Mother's Day? Just when my mom relaxes.

[Dan LeBatard]

Oh, my God. Mom's a little judgy, huh? No, don't come off as desperate. The last thing you want to do is bring a fake date to Mother's Day. You want to bring two fake dates. You want one on each arm. And you want to be super touchy, super flirty like your mom has never seen. It's like, what's my daughter, menage a trois? You want mom to think that you not only have a boyfriend, you know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? And you're gonna leave her. When you leave with your two boyfriends, she's gonna be a nervous wreck, but she's no longer ever gonna push you to have a boyfriend. You've solved your problem. Take that advice.

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[Mike Ryan]

the

[Mike]

other night I was staying in. At least that was a plan. Then the text from my buddy Eagle Eye comes in. Mike, we've got the games on. I say, yeah. I grab a pack of Miller Lite, and immediately my plan's gone. Now it's playoff basketball. Every possession feels huge. Baseball's on another screen, and I somehow care about that, too. Everybody's got takes flying. Nobody's watching. Just one thing, and we're all way more into it than we ever expected. It was one of those nights that you take a sip, you look around, and you think, yeah, this was the right move. That's why I reached for Miller Lite. It's clean, refreshing, easy to drink, brewed for taste, with simple ingredients, just 96 calories and 3.2 carbs. The original light beer since 1975. And it still hits different cheers to legendary moments with Miller Lite. Great taste. 96 calories go to millerlight.com dan to find delivery options near you. Or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. It's Miller time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Co. Milwaukee, Wisconsin 96 calories, 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.