Hour 1: Count Orlok's D*** At 7:45 In The Morning

Summary

The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz

Episode: Hour 1: Count Orlok's D*** At 7:45 In The Morning
Release Date: February 24, 2025

---

Knicks’ Struggles and Team Analysis

The episode kicks off with a heated discussion about the New York Knicks' disappointing performance this season. Host Dan Le Batard expresses skepticism over the Knicks' potential, highlighting their defensive shortcomings despite having a strong offensive lineup. At [01:26], Dan states:

“Tony has proclaimed, and I don't know if he's first. The New York Knicks are cooked.”

Stugotz and Mike Ryan delve deeper, analyzing the team’s defense, particularly criticizing Karl-Anthony Towns' defensive metrics. Mike emphasizes the impact of poor defense on the Knicks' standings:

“Statistically, if you look up some of the advanced stats on Karl Anthony Towns, he is legitimately the worst defender in the NBA.”

Dan further compares the Knicks’ situation to Minnesota’s struggles after losing key defensive players, questioning the modern challenges of maintaining a cohesive team amidst financial and strategic pressures.

Warriors, Jimmy Butler, and Team Dynamics

Transitioning to the Golden State Warriors, the discussion shifts to the integration of Jimmy Butler into the team. Dan raises concerns about Butler's age and stamina, questioning his long-term impact alongside Stephen Curry:

“I don't understand how all of aging has changed in sports... Maybe there is something there that Golden State has not had, as it tries, the final furnace of fumes that there are on Draymond Green.”

Mike Ryan and Chris Cody debate whether Butler can rejuvenate the Warriors' dynamics, with Mike hopeful that Draymond Green can recapture his previous form to complement Butler's contributions. Dan highlights Stephen Curry's influence on the game, suggesting that Curry's presence could make the game easier for Butler:

“Steph looks so good playing with that guy. Because of how you pair those two things.”

Age, Performance, and Michael Jordan's Legacy

The conversation then shifts to the broader topic of aging in sports, using LeBron James and Luka Dončić as examples of seasoned athletes maintaining high performance levels. Dan draws a parallel with Michael Jordan, questioning the enduring mythos surrounding Jordan's career despite new records being set by players like LeBron:

“The We Beat the Dream Team documentary reveals a handful of things, including Coach K alleging that Chuck Daly purposely threw the scrimmage where the college kids beat the greatest team there's ever been.”

Chris Cody and Stugotz comment on the portrayal of Michael Jordan, with references to recent documentaries that aim to demystify Jordan's legacy, yet inadvertently reinforce it.

Woj Collection: Bidding for Memorabilia

A notable segment involves Billy introducing the "Woj Collection," a bidding platform for Adam Wojciechowski’s personal memorabilia. At [14:21], Billy explains:

“You can go on there and you can bid on things like the iPhone used to break Paul George Kawhi to the Clippers phone...”

Dan probes the authenticity of the items, questioning how buyers can verify the memorabilia's legitimacy. The hosts humorously navigate the challenges of endorsing such a platform, emphasizing that proceeds go to Saint Bonaventure.

Greg Cody’s Haircut Challenge

In a lighthearted interlude, Greg Cody arrives with his personal haircut kit, sparking an impromptu grooming session. The hosts debate the feasibility of cutting Greg’s hair live on the show, blending humor with genuine concern over the potential outcomes. Dan remarks at [20:42]:

“Are we going to try to do this live? Who would volunteer?”

The segment becomes a comedic highlight as the team wrestles with the idea, ultimately deciding against proceeding with the haircut to maintain the show’s professionalism.

NFL Bengals and Salary Cap Strategy

Shifting gears to football, Dan engages Greg Cody in an in-depth analysis of the Cincinnati Bengals' recent moves in the NFL. The discussion centers on the Bengals' attempts to retain key players like Joe Burrow and Ja'Marr Chase amidst salary cap constraints. Dan raises critical questions about the team's financial strategies:

“How can you have those four players and then have other players when Ja'marr Chase is going to want $40 million a year?”

Stugotz responds by acknowledging the Bengals' historical frugality but expresses doubt over their ability to balance star salaries without depleting the roster elsewhere. The debate highlights the complexities teams face in maintaining competitive rosters while adhering to financial limitations.

Movie Review: Nosferatu at Dawn

Later in the episode, the hosts share their experiences watching the horror classic "Nosferatu" at an unconventional time—7:45 AM on a Saturday. Dan reflects on the film's artistic merits and director Robert Eggers' ability to transport viewers to a different era:

“It's an artistic masterpiece. Like just beautifully romantic and haunting and totally creepy.”

Chris and Stugotz discuss the film’s aesthetic choices, such as Dracula's mustache, debating its authenticity and impact on the character’s portrayal.

Closing Remarks and Teasers

As the show wraps up, Dan touches upon upcoming segments and teases future discussions, including Greg Cody’s announcement of the "Top 100 Guests" on his show. The hosts maintain a playful tone, setting the stage for continued engagement with their audience in subsequent episodes.

---

Notable Quotes:

• Dan Le Batard at [01:26]: “Tony has proclaimed, and I don't know if he's first. The New York Knicks are cooked.”

• Mike Ryan at [02:42]: “Statistically, if you look up some of the advanced stats on Karl Anthony Towns, he is legitimately the worst defender in the NBA.”

• Dan Le Batard at [05:04]: “Steph looks so good playing with that guy. Because of how you pair those two things.”

• Billy at [14:21]: “You can go on there and you can bid on things like the iPhone used to break Paul George Kawhi to the Clippers phone...”

• Dan Le Batard at [20:42]: “Are we going to try to do this live? Who would volunteer?”

---

This episode of The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz offers a comprehensive look into the current state of the Knicks, Warriors dynamics with Jimmy Butler, the enduring legacy of Michael Jordan, and strategic challenges faced by the Bengals in the NFL. Interspersed with humorous segments like the Woj Collection bidding and Greg Cody's haircut debacle, the hosts provide insightful commentary on sports and pop culture, maintaining their signature blend of analysis and entertainment.

Transcript

[Dan Le Batard]

You're listening to Giraffe Kings Network.

[Stugatz]

What is Dax?

[Dan Le Batard]

Are you tracking all our cars on Carvana Value Tracker on all our devices? Yes, Kristen. Yes, I am.

[Kristen]

Well, I've been looking for my phone.

[Dan Le Batard]

For In Dax's domain we see all.

[Billy]

So we always know what our cars are worth.

[Kristen]

All of them?

[Billy]

All of them. Value surge trucks up 3.9%.

[Kristen]

That's a great offer.

[Dan Le Batard]

I know. Sell.

[Stugatz]

Sell.

[Billy]

Track your car's value with Carvana Value Tracker today. You know that sound? It's the sound of money hitting your Venmo account. A friend paying you back. Or maybe it's getting cash back from your favorite business when you pay with the Venmo debit card. Or it's realizing you can pay with Venmo at checkout at thousands of brands. There are so many more ways to answer the question, what's your Venmo download Venmo. Today the Venmo MasterCard is issued by the Bancorp Bank N.A. pursuant to license by MasterCard International Incorporated. DOSH cashback terms apply. This is the Dan Levator show with the Stu Guts podcast.

[Greg Cody]

This episode of the Dan Levatart show with Stugatz is presented by DraftKings. DraftKings. The Crown is yours.

[Dan Le Batard]

Tony has proclaimed, and I don't know who else has done this because this was a season of great expectations. Tony has proclaimed, and I don't know if he's first. The New York Knicks are cooked. Cooked. That you can watch Boston and Cleveland play and know that that team can't beat those two teams. And that's. It's stark to see because when New York, when the Knicks had Mitchell Robinson, they destroyed the Cleveland front court in a way that took me totally off guard. The changes between those two franchises, when the Knicks have indeed elevated to see Cleveland elevate that much more, where you're like, holy shit, Boston's having all sorts of trouble keeping up with Cleveland. Like, I don't know if it's just because Mobley's usage rate is something that they're working around more, but the New York Knicks have a better team than they've had. This team is better than the last two Brunson led teams. Like, I'd rather have Karl, Anthony, Towns and Bridges in this kind of offense, but they're not as good as the top of their conference. That part is. That part's obvious. It's not just that they have some problems at home. Those two teams, Cleveland and Boston, look better than them.

[Mike Ryan]

Dan. The Knicks are officially cooked.

[Billy]

Confirming.

[Stugatz]

Thank you.

[Mike Ryan]

Here's the thing, right? They're 07 against the top teams between OKC and the two teams in the east being Boston and Cleveland. They got spanked by, by, by Boston got spanked by Cleveland. The issue is this. They have an elite offense between Jalen Brunson, between Carl Anthony Towns, who's been playing amazing bridges Hart. All these guys are very good on offense. Their problem has been defensively, Karl Anthony Towns might be the worst defender in the NBA. They're drop coveraging on everybody. No, no. Like statistically, if you look up some of the advanced stats on Karl Anthony Towns, he is legitimately the worst defender in the NBA. So when you have guys like Porzingis, when you have guys like Mobley just in the east that are going to give him trouble, it's like this Knicks team was supposed to be built to beat those teams. They're what, 38 and 19. 38 and 20, whatever they are right now. And they are not even close.

[Dan Le Batard]

I don't know how many people do sort of the defensive metrics required to understand what Gobert was doing for Karl Anthony Towns in Minnesota. That made well, but made that the best Minnesota team of my lifetime. Minnesota has fallen back, at least in part because they can't pair those two guys together anymore and they had to just get out from under salary like Minnesota. How often do you see that in today's day and age where a team doesn't feel like it could keep its best team together in basketball? Because it can't. Because Carl Anthony Towns got traded and all of us were like, we know he's a very nice player and that's exactly the kind of player that New York would want. But also that's a hell of a lot of money and I think he's a number two.

[Mike Ryan]

Well, we just saw Dallas do it with Luka. So like, that's kind of the most extreme example where they're like, I don't know if we can keep this team together with Luca going forward as our supermax player. But when you look at some of the stuff that Gobert was taking off the plate of of Carl Anthony Towns, he was able to kind of make him into a three where he didn't have to really worry about playing defense. Now if you're the anchor of a defense like Hartenstein was a couple of years ago, where you let him walk and then you're waiting on that way. That's how you say it.

[Dan Le Batard]

I know. I love that you did it.

[Mike Ryan]

Thank you. So you're hoping that Mitchell Robinson, who hasn't played in two seasons is the. Is the lifeline that's going to save the defense that Tom Thibodeau, like, puts his hat on.

[Dan Le Batard]

It's like Mitchell Robinson, who Mike Ryan calls trash.

[Chris Cody]

I mean, I don't even remember the last time I thought about that guy.

[Dan Le Batard]

You do remember the last time you.

[Chris Cody]

Thought about probably about two. Two years ago. Two years ago. I haven't seen him since. Looks like the warriors are playing well, though.

[Dan Le Batard]

Oh, well, let's talk about this for a second, because I mentioned the other day that Steph Curry hasn't had somebody who goes and gets the dirty stu free throws that Jimmy Butler does to slow the game down, and he just hasn't had that in his lifetime. And now you have Draymond Green guaranteeing a championship, and this is early for this one to happen. I don't know. Have you guys seen this? Stephen A. Smith has said the Jimmy Butler trade that he dismissed as a nothing trade. He has tweeted, I may have been wrong.

[Stugatz]

Whoa.

[Dan Le Batard]

It's been only five or six games. Only five or six games. And now he threatens to be wrong both times because he's willing to walk back based on the strength of six performances because they're four and one since, and they're blowing people out.

[Chris Cody]

It's not they just destroyed Dallas.

[Dan Le Batard]

They're. They're winning. They're winning easily. But it's five or six games and. And you're talking about they're getting into the 130s and 1-40s, and the game looks like it's being made easier for Steph. That's interesting to watch, right? Because when. I don't know if. When you were watching the warriors, if all of us, to the eye, could tell how or where clay was slowing. I don't know where the prime of careers are anymore. Because Ovechkin doing this at 39 is wildly confusing to me. Three goals yesterday. He's gonna break a record I never thought was broken. He's 39 years old. How is any of that possible?

[Chris Cody]

He's gonna do it in a season where he missed extended periods of time. It's unbelievable what Ovech can do.

[Dan Le Batard]

I can't understand how all of aging has changed in sports that makes it so that I would think that Jimmy Butler going in there at that age isn't going to have all that much left in the tank. But maybe 35, with all that mileage, Thibodeau mileage, just all the mileage on that body, maybe there is something there that Golden State has not had, as it tries, the final furnace of fumes that there are on Draymond Green, on whatever all of that, is that Jimmy Butler can bring something to that team it hasn't had.

[Mike Ryan]

I think that's the part that you're hoping Draymond can somehow recapture a little bit of his old Draymond ways. Because you've got Steph, who now can kind of take a step back, let Jimmy take some of the offensive load off of him. The problem is they're a really small team. If you look around like who the warriors have, it's like, how are you going to compete with the big teams out west that have Jokic, that have like a Gobert inside? There's just too much where the warriors are like, all right, we're just going to play small ball and Draymond hopefully can recapture something. But if not, when you get us a bucket.

[Dan Le Batard]

When you're looking at these storylines in that sport and the young people are still vying for what has been LeBron and Steph's throne, you guys saw the stat that since 2020, LeBron is over 21 on game winning or game tying shots at the end of the game. Since 2020, over 21 at the end of games because they're somewhere. The oldest player in the league has to age even as he's putting up 40 points and triple doubles. And they're still really good. There's this, and Luca finally has a game yesterday where you're saying to yourself, okay, that looks like something resembling Luca. But you guys don't think that the Lakers can do anything against OKC, do you? You don't like when you're looking at OKC putting up a point differential of 13 points a game, nobody's looking at that team and saying, I don't trust them because I haven't seen them do it yet. They're too young, right?

[Chris Cody]

Well, to be fair, I'm not looking at all. But what I will say is, over the last couple of years, as load management and the treatment of stars to avoid injury has continued to increase throughout the league, we've had pretty shocking results in the playoffs. You've seen teams not take the regular season so seriously and it's made the playoffs a little bit more unpredictable because you can't account for what the max effort of these teams looks like. Golden State is a prime example of that because they're playing well right now because Jimmy's feels like trying. I haven't really seen Jimmy try in quite some time.

[Stugatz]

Joy is back.

[Mike Ryan]

He Grabbed the clipboard and started drawing plays in the huddle. Like, when was the last time he did that?

[Chris Cody]

It's just a variable that is hard to account for. You're just essentially guessing now when they enter the playoffs and free throws are harder to come by. But the clips that I'm seeing of them and he's doing the pull up J's in transition, like, it looks like the way when Jimmy's game is really cooking, it looks like that. I don't know if it can sustain that. He's one of the great playoff performance of our time. That was really well said.

[Dan Le Batard]

One of the things that I think that we can agree on is that Steph Curry is going to make the game easier for him. And he will make the game easier for Steph Curry and I would imagine would enjoy the lightened load of being the second best player on a team because he doesn't have to be used the same way. It's not quite. Quite as exhausting. And so I don't want to underestimate that he's playing with the greatest shooter any of us have ever seen who has distorted all of the basketball. And one of the reasons that they look so good is because, holy shit, Steph looks so good playing with that guy. Because of how you pair those two things. Where Jimmy, we all know he's a savant. He's not LeBron in terms of wherever brilliance is, but clearly he knows something about how to play basketball that is helpful to a lot of different people if they can withstand the furnace that his temper is.

[Stugatz]

I think the big difference is that Jimmy Butler accepts with understanding that he's the second best player on his new team and he never could in Miami. In Miami, he's like, I'm the alpha dog. I'm not going to take a second fiddle to Tyler Herro. I'm Jimmy Butler. Now he's got Steph Curry. He's got no choice but to say, yep, he's better than me. I'm happy to do what I'm doing.

[Dan Le Batard]

I want to ask you guys, though, because all of the star power in this sport is going to change. You've got over the weekend two injuries that are pretty substantive. The Philadelphia thing seems to be something that is going to lose Darryl Morey the ability to get another job the way that that blew out where Joel Embiid is now. You know, he's owed over the next four seasons $250 million. And it would appear that all of the pressures involved in getting him back out there are Something that derailed his progress yet again. So the process is sort of ra. Ravage this guy. And then you've got Wembanyama out for the season as well because of blood clots and the size of these human beings and what they're being asked to do around and during load management. Like, there are things involved here with what the wear and tear on the body is that make it so that we're like, where's Kawhi Leonard? I don't know where Kawhi Leonard. Oh, the whole mystery doctor thing that made him change teams all over the place. Because it is kind of. We're in agreement now that the science has made it. So whether you agree with load management or not, we now all understand that the athletes and their training staffs are all telling you these bodies need more conditioning than we're being allowed to have.

[Chris Cody]

Well, with Joel, that has always been part of the criticism. You have a fragile body. You entered the league as someone with an injury risk. That was. That was how they were evaluating him as a prospect. This is a risky proposition. So the fact that he's had a fragile career, when you apply that context is really not a surprise. Where people get on Joel and where I think it's fair is on top of all these things that we're worried about you, your frame, your injury history, don't you want to put your body in the best possible position to withstand the beating of this sport? And optically and attitude wise, and by some reporting, he doesn't have that kind of commitment to his body.

[Dan Le Batard]

Billy, why are you smiling?

[Billy]

Because I love the Internet. Sometimes you just stumble across things. And we're talking about the NBA. You're talking about Kawhi Leonard, Paul George, the Clippers, all of that Jazz, not the Utah Jazz, but you're talking about all that terrible. And I found on this website called putabounty.com in Spanish it would be a totally different website, but it's called the Woj Collection. And you can go on there and you can bid on things like the iPhone used to break. Paul George Kawaida, L.A. clippers News the iPhone used to break NBA suspending season because of COVID iPhone. Many different credentials are here also. And I would, I would never. I would never suggest that someone does this. Proceeds, by the way, go to Saint Bonaventure. I would never suggest that someone does this. But his Disney ID is listed on there, his ESPN Disney ID badge. And when we were at Disney. She shouldn't say we were at Disney. That badge would get you free parking at the parks, which now is like just flashing $35. Yeah, it was just like, show me the badge. Thank you. They'd say, welcome home. Which is always very welcoming. Welcome home. And you're like, oh, I'm home. Oh, we work here. And then like, you'd go in and you'd save like $335. I have not done it since I've left, so I don't know if that is something that still works or not. I don't know if any of my co workers here are bold enough to tell us that they've done this or not, but $250 could get you free parking at Disney for life.

[Dan Le Batard]

I just need to understand more details. Is Woj selling some of his personal memorabilia in order to raise money as part of fundraising for his new venture as general manager of the Bonnie.

[Billy]

Yeah, you got it.

[Chris Cody]

That is correct.

[Billy]

You understood it.

[Chris Cody]

How many personal effects. How many of these are Darren Revell going to scoop up?

[Dan Le Batard]

Ooh, can we find out what some of the prices are on so I.

[Billy]

Can tell you all the prices? What do you want to know? The. The Paul George Kawhi to the Clippers phone is currently being offered for $350. You could buy all of which stuff if you wanted to. NBA suspending the season due to Covid. $525 is the high right now.

[Greg Cody]

That's a big phone.

[Billy]

Now, his 2023 NBA Draft credential dinner, also known as the WEMBY draft. $200, right?

[Dan Le Batard]

What's dinner with Woj going?

[Billy]

That just says limited available. Let's click it here. Oh, the offer price right now, it doesn't say, but the example is $2,000 to have dinner with.

[Mike Ryan]

He's picking up the tab, right?

[Billy]

It's unclear.

[Dan Le Batard]

I think you're picking up.

[Billy]

Well, okay, hold on.

[Chris Cody]

Can you give this. We should get that for a mean.

[Billy]

Hold on a second. Because all of these. All of these have offer prices. So like his 2024 NBA draft credential, which many of you might say. 2024 NBA draft credential. Why would I want that? Well, because that was Woj's final draft. So this is a piece of basketball history here. And the clearance levels that he had were FLV 2 and 4. So I think we all know what that means. Now here is the offer. It's suggesting $2,000 if you want to make an offer. However, the high offer right now is $500, so we haven't reached it. There's eight days left if you guys Want to support the Bonnies.

[Dan Le Batard]

How do you verify what the phone is, though? Is there a text on there saying, like, Paul George, is it done?

[Chris Cody]

Is there, like, Dangerous Game?

[Billy]

So you're saying that someone would be lying about the iPhone used for the 2023 draft?

[Stugatz]

Lying.

[Dan Le Batard]

I'm just saying, how do you verify that?

[Stugatz]

Was the Wemby draft saying?

[Dan Le Batard]

You're saying that.

[Billy]

Okay, hold on a second.

[Greg Cody]

Don't do that.

[Billy]

Now, here's a phone that you might want the iPhone used for. Farewell tweet and final NBA draft. $500 for that one right now. That is the. That's the high. Oh, you can also get a video call with Woj. There's lots of treasures on here.

[Jerbear]

Hey, friends, it's Jerbear here, and I'm.

[Dan Le Batard]

Here to tell you all about Boost.

[Jerbear]

Mobile, which is now a legit nationwide 5G network. So I must take a break from.

[Dan Le Batard]

The jokes here for a second and.

[Jerbear]

Put on my serious voice, because I would never, ever joke about a 5G network that has invested billions building 5G towers across the country. Not even once. Not even if Mr. Boost Mobile himself asked me to. There is nothing funny about it. Boost Mobile is now a legit nationwide 5G network and also provides coverage across 99% of America. Seriously? Visit boostmobile.com or your nearest Boost Mobile store location to learn more. The Boost Mobile network, together with our roaming partners, covers 99% of the US population. 5G speeds not available in all areas.

[Billy]

Wow.

[Stugatz]

What's up?

[Dan Le Batard]

I just bought and financed a car.

[Billy]

Through Carvana in minutes.

[Dan Le Batard]

You, the person who agonized four weeks.

[Stugatz]

Over whether to paint your walls eggshell.

[Dan Le Batard]

Or off white, bought and financed a car in minutes.

[Billy]

They made it easy.

[Dan Le Batard]

Transparent terms, customizable, down and monthly. Didn't even have to do any paperwork.

[Billy]

Wow.

[Kristen]

Mm.

[Dan Le Batard]

Hey, have you checked out that spreadsheet I sent you for our dinner Options?

[Kristen]

Finance your car with Carvana and experience total control financing. Subject to credit approval.

[Billy]

Hey there, wellness warriors. If you're like me, you've given a lot of thought to how to improve your health and wellness routine. This year, I've started stretching more. Do a little mindfulness and meditation every day. Try to clear my mind, make my body feel right. Take your health routine to the next level with the magic of contrast therapy. Meet our new amazing sponsor, Redwood Outdoors. They're making it easy to bring the benefits of saunas and cold plunges right to your backyard. A Redwood Outdoors backyard sauna seats two to eight people, where you can relax, unwind, and enjoy all the benefits like reduced muscle tension, improved sleep and glowing skin. And it doesn't stop there. Redwood Outdoors invigorating cold plunge helps to boost circulation, sharpen your focus and leave you feeling absolutely revitalized. Whether it's detoxing deeper, reducing inflammation or connecting with loved ones in moments of peace, Redwood Outdoors has you covered. Enhance your physical and mental wellness routines with Redwood Outdoors. Take advantage of special Savings today. Visit RedWoodOutdoors.com use code DAN to save $175. That's RedWoodOutdoors.com code D A N to save $175 on your order. RedWoodOutdoors.com code Dan Don LeBatard.

[Stugatz]

I heard that as a woman faking pain. I didn't think that sounded real. I really didn't.

[Dan Le Batard]

You know, it was not fake. It was in no way fake.

[Billy]

You can spot a woman faking it, Stugarts.

[Stugatz]

Yes, I can. Jess Expert have been married 40 years.

[Billy]

This is the Dan Lebatar show with the stugats.

[Dan Le Batard]

Are any of the personal effects as good as the one that Greg Cody brought in today? Because I will tell you that last week I thought one of the show highlights was Chris Cody going into the back row and being someone who maniacally squeezed juice until he got orange juice almost half a glass heroically. Today his father has brought in and we famously cut his hair here months ago. He didn't like the haircut. We got it professionally cut. One of Tony's friends, my barber, my personal barber, Dan.

[Stugatz]

I liked the haircut.

[Dan Le Batard]

No, you didn't.

[Stugatz]

Yeah, it was good.

[Dan Le Batard]

You didn't.

[Stugatz]

I just didn't like having to borrow 20 bucks to tip the guy, you know.

[Dan Le Batard]

You didn't like the haircut that much. Your wife didn't like the haircut that much. It's okay. It was a good haircut. But you didn't like that. It was that close. Yes, Earlene, that's correct.

[Billy]

Didn't like the haircut. It was a good haircut.

[Mike Ryan]

You look 20 years younger.

[Dan Le Batard]

Thank you. But Greg Cody has brought in today and I did not know that this was something that he had in his arsenal, a personal haircut kit. And so are we going to cut his hair with his personal haircut kit to see if his haircut, if he can do this. He's scared. He's a little bit proud of his hair and he's scared of going home to Orleans with a haircut that looks ridiculous. Are we going to try to do this live?

[Stugatz]

Well, we need a volunteer.

[Dan Le Batard]

Who. What do you need?

[Stugatz]

I Mean, I need someone who is going to volunteer. I can't do it myself.

[Dan Le Batard]

Right, but who would you like? Would you like to select whoever it is who's going to do this?

[Stugatz]

I would like to volunteer from anyone in the studio who has been a barber.

[Greg Cody]

Look around the room like just based off our look.

[Billy]

Greg, this is one of the worst ideas yet.

[Dan Le Batard]

Do not do this.

[Stugatz]

Someone who is in a barber shaving area or has hair stylists.

[Dan Le Batard]

Would you please support Greg Cody on a Greg Cody Monday? I don't need you saying this being the spot where you decide that you're going to say no.

[Billy]

I just there's long term implications here. When Stu got shaved his head it took. Well that's true lifelong for some.

[Dan Le Batard]

Okay, so this is just, all this is, is just. I mean it's not. I thought it was going to be something other than a.

[Stugatz]

But this is just something it was going to be.

[Dan Le Batard]

Oh, I don't know.

[Greg Cody]

But you think someone would pop out of there like hello, I'm here to cut a hair.

[Dan Le Batard]

I just thought that it's a self shaving kit. You could do this for yourself. It's supposed to be something that you're doing for yourself.

[Stugatz]

It's impossible to do it yourself. Well, hold on because then you'd be going like this.

[Billy]

Hold on a second. I think I can help you, Greg, because Roy has told us that he shaves his own head. Roy gives himself his own haircuts. So Roy's used this equipment before.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah, but I shaved my head.

[Stugatz]

He's not going to want a bald head.

[Billy]

Well, he didn't say no.

[Stugatz]

I want to start with a one or a two on the side and that's a lot.

[Mike Ryan]

By the way. What is one is what I have.

[Greg Cody]

One is really short.

[Stugatz]

Okay. This start with a two or a three. A little higher.

[Greg Cody]

Remember, fade is the word you use.

[Stugatz]

The fade. Faded up. I need a fade.

[Mike Ryan]

Somebody to give you a fade.

[Billy]

Tight fade.

[Mike Ryan]

I'll call my boy Lucas. We'll bring him back.

[Dan Le Batard]

All right, we're going to do this. I need the payoff now. Now somebody's got to do this. We got to get somebody back there like I get. We can't bring this up as content, have the kid out here and then just bail on it. Now we've got to do it.

[Stugatz]

We're old kitten caboodle.

[Dan Le Batard]

We're in too deep. I did also want to say to Greg Cody, who does stop fiddling.

[Greg Cody]

Thank you.

[Dan Le Batard]

A lot of good work around here just to get promotion for his podcast The Greg Cody show featuring Greg Cody has a lot of nostalgia in it. And this week, because they do nothing better than self involvement, they are Reviewing the top 100 guests in show history. I'm stunned to hear that they've had 100 guests.

[Stugatz]

Sure. We've had, like 138. So if you don't make the top 100, that's on you, not me.

[Greg Cody]

You want the bottom 38. That's the good stuff.

[Stugatz]

That's gonna be on the next episode. We're previewing it a little. We talk about it a little.

[Dan Le Batard]

Wouldn't it be easier to see who didn't make the cut than to see who did? You're doing the top 100 guests in the history of the Greg Cody show featuring Greg out looking in.

[Greg Cody]

We want when Hal Habib comes on to be like, now Joining us, the 82nd most popular guest in show history. Hal Habit.

[Billy]

How did you rank these personal feelings?

[Stugatz]

We actually did it mathematically. Christopher and I and Yeti each had a ballot of 138 names. And beside each name, we put five. Three or one. One is somebody that we don't even remember him being on the show. Three is somebody we're sort of waffling. Five, big star.

[Billy]

Why don't you just do one, two, three?

[Greg Cody]

I'm gonna be honest. I voted. Everyone in here has been on the show. A lot of threes in this room. I was a lot of threes.

[Chris Cody]

I was gonna guess even numbers if.

[Billy]

It was like, if you're on the show, is that a guest or you're just like, no, you're friends with. You know the show. So that doesn't.

[Dan Le Batard]

I want to cover the math of what it is that we're talking about here. Okay. In the history of the show, he has had 138 guests. So all he's doing here is eliminating 38 of the guests. Correct. Only 38 are being eliminated. So this is. There are a lot of people making the late cut here who probably weren't very good. Unless you think that Greg Cody and his son and Yeti. Would you please stop opening that loudly. Unless you think that it works. Unless you think that they have batted 100 out of 138 on great guests.

[Billy]

Batting 100 is bad.

[Dan Le Batard]

Well, 100 out of 138 is not batting 100.

[Billy]

I was told we were all threes in this room, which is not great.

[Stugatz]

Oh, no, that's all the threes are making it. That's proprietary information.

[Dan Le Batard]

All the threes are making it. What do you Mean it's proprietary information. The podcast is out.

[Billy]

No, that's next week's episode.

[Stugatz]

We're previewing the topic.

[Billy]

You broke the news. You leaked it.

[Dan Le Batard]

I'm sorry.

[Billy]

Furman's gonna be pissed.

[Stugatz]

No, Furman's not on it.

[Dan Le Batard]

Confirming everybody.

[Chris Cody]

Very abrupt trail.

[Stugatz]

Everybody who makes the list, there's a reason for it.

[Dan Le Batard]

That was a hastily produced the confirming needed more echo. How do you not hear? The confirming needs to be basier.

[Billy]

Confirming.

[Dan Le Batard]

How do you not hear?

[Chris Cody]

Keep going. The trail should still be on here.

[Dan Le Batard]

That's so poorly that you don't understand how much funnier confirming would be if it echoed for nine seconds.

[Billy]

Confirming.

[Dan Le Batard]

No, that's not good enough.

[Billy]

His voice only gets so deep.

[Dan Le Batard]

Like, how do we not have somebody in the other room who could give us the voice we need to put a little funny in this?

[Billy]

Confirming.

[Stugatz]

It's going to be Baso Profondo.

[Dan Le Batard]

Do you know how much better. Roy, Roy, show them how it's done. Please go into the other room. Don't do it now. Don't do it live. I will not put the pressure on you. Now close the segment, go into the other room and make a better confirming than that. Using a voice that is. That is funnier than the one.

[Chris Cody]

I want a 15 second trail.

[Billy]

And cut Greg's hair while you're at it.

[Dan Le Batard]

Somebody else helped me with the cutting of Greg Cody's hair. Greg, the top guest in show history. Was it tough to come by? Who. Who was number one?

[Stugatz]

We haven't. We haven't determined the list yet.

[Greg Cody]

We can. I can. I can. No, no, I can reveal. We voted. There were about 20 people that got consensus fives from all of us. So the top 20 all got consensus five. So we're going to have to order those and that will be revealed this week.

[Billy]

Is this just on the podcast or does this include when we had like the fortune teller, whatever on the 24 Hour Marathon?

[Greg Cody]

This includes any appearance. If you send in a video clip to us, if we played you on the show, if we've hyped you in any kind of description, then. Yes. Like we had Lionel Messi.

[Stugatz]

Yeah, yeah, he was on briefly.

[Greg Cody]

Well, it was like his translator. Like we've translated something Messi said and.

[Stugatz]

Right, right. That's. You know, I think he got ones and threes. I'm not sure if.

[Dan Le Batard]

Okay. But again, some ones and threes are gonna live because you're only. They're only eliminating 38, though, so there is somebody who's gonna make the top 101.

[Greg Cody]

As like, I don't think Charlie Chaplin's gonna make it. We had a guy named Charlie Chaplin.

[Dan Le Batard]

You know what?

[Stugatz]

I voted him a 5. I don't know about the rest of you. He was great.

[Greg Cody]

We also had a Greg Cody on and a guy named Greg.

[Dan Le Batard]

Another five.

[Stugatz]

Yes. We also had a Greg Lobo.

[Greg Cody]

We also had a snuggler anymore.

[Billy]

Well, hold on a second. How are you guys revealing this just all on one episode?

[Stugatz]

Are you like next week's episode? Not the one that came in today.

[Greg Cody]

I've told him we should do 10 at a time.

[Billy]

Yes.

[Greg Cody]

100 through 91. You know, that type thing that's open.

[Stugatz]

To debate, you know.

[Dan Le Batard]

Okay, that's a big one.

[Billy]

Sunday to decide if you want to make this last one episode or ten.

[Stugatz]

That's correct.

[Dan Le Batard]

As with all of the great art made throughout history, there will be much eternal debate about who should have been number one confirming and how. How high. Gary the bag got up on the list of the guests in the history of the show.

[Stugatz]

Will he make it?

[Dan Le Batard]

Featuring Greg Cody. Have any of you watched the we.

[Stugatz]

Beat the with but thank you.

[Billy]

Who was on this week?

[Stugatz]

This week we. We dive inside. There's a. There was a bachelor party within my family not to name anyone who might be getting married like my younger son Michael. So we talk about the bachelor party. I. I have. I reveal number 20 in my new top 20 list of all time greatest herbs.

[Greg Cody]

Herb of the week.

[Stugatz]

Herb of the week. So number 20.

[Greg Cody]

You can reveal who number 20 was.

[Stugatz]

Nah, I don't want to.

[Mike Ryan]

Herb.

[Dan Le Batard]

Dean, you gotta get it.

[Greg Cody]

Whoa, relax.

[Dan Le Batard]

You gotta get over it.

[Billy]

There are two countdowns at the same time.

[Greg Cody]

Rosemary.

[Stugatz]

No, next week's.

[Dan Le Batard]

Next week's countdown. 100 guests. This week's is the.

[Billy]

Yeah, but he only gives us one herb a week.

[Stugatz]

Right.

[Chris Cody]

It was both to stop you and also submit a nominee.

[Dan Le Batard]

20 favorite herbs.

[Stugatz]

Right? Yeah.

[Greg Cody]

Come on, give him number 20. It'll be a nice teaser for next week.

[Stugatz]

No, I don't want to do it.

[Billy]

You're only by number 20.

[Stugatz]

I'm starting it.

[Dan Le Batard]

He's starting it.

[Billy]

So next week's episode is the 100 best guests and the number 19th herb.

[Stugatz]

Yes, that's correct. Yeah.

[Dan Le Batard]

Just so you know, the Greg Cody show featuring Greg Cody.

[Chris Cody]

It's a great show.

[Stugatz]

Yeah. By the way, second thoughts on this.

[Dan Le Batard]

On the. On the buzzer buzzer for the audio podcast.

[Stugatz]

First of all, it says oil blades before using I have no oil.

[Dan Le Batard]

Second, Greg, why did you bring this in if we weren't going to do it. Like, what's the point?

[Stugatz]

You're the one who unhoused it from the box.

[Billy]

What?

[Greg Cody]

But you brought it in.

[Dan Le Batard]

You brought it in and you put it in on the desk. And. And I thought we were gonna do something.

[Stugatz]

Sir. Told me to bring the box in. Did I? Did I suggest we do anything with it? I didn't know. I didn't know whether someone would volunteer to touch my head. And quite frankly, now I look at this and the biggest. The biggest. Whatever you call these things, the biggest one is 1 inch, okay? It's 18 inch, 1 quarter, 3 8, 1 half, 5 8, 3 quarters, 78 and 1 inch. So the biggest is 1 inch. So I can't use this.

[Billy]

Well, 1 inch is. Is long for the side.

[Stugatz]

Yeah, it is for the side.

[Chris Cody]

Yeah.

[Stugatz]

Tony, you said you're. You had a one.

[Chris Cody]

The one doesn't lowest.

[Greg Cody]

It's not one inch. One is like the. The shortest.

[Stugatz]

Oh, okay. So one is the longest.

[Billy]

Yeah. I think the way you do this is you work lowest number to highest number when you're doing it. So like, you start shaving it like an eighth of an inch and then you work your way up to 1.

[Stugatz]

I totally misread this.

[Greg Cody]

He's putting it up against his face with audio.

[Chris Cody]

He didn't oil that.

[Stugatz]

Yeah, Be careful.

[Dan Le Batard]

Have you guys seen the We Beat the Dream Team documentary on.

[Chris Cody]

I've heard of it and I've heard good things.

[Dan Le Batard]

Let me just tell you some of the good things because I'm a little bit stunned that in 2025 we still eat up the Michael Jordan mythology. Okay? So the We Beat the Dream Team documentary reveals a handful of things, including Coach K alleging that Chuck Daly purposely threw the scrimmage where the college kids beat the greatest team there's ever been. Magic and Michael. Among the revelations in this is that Michael and Magic were on the bench during this game when it happened. But one of the things that was mentioned that continues to improve the mythology of Michael Jordan. Even as LeBron James is still putting up 40 points, sometimes as a 40.

[Chris Cody]

Year old, that breathing sounds like there's an oscillating fan in this.

[Dan Le Batard]

He got winded just giving those fractions. It was just one eight, seven, eight, six eight. He got tired getting to about four or five eighths. He just got tired.

[Greg Cody]

And every time Dan finished the sentence.

[Dan Le Batard]

He'S been breathing heavy since then. It was just listing the eighths that got it. Do you realize how out of shape you have to be to get winded? Just listing 8 fractions I'm not winded.

[Stugatz]

Roy told me to keep the mic close to my mouth, which is what I'm doing. I'm doing a little thing called breathing. It's a big part of life. And so what's the alternative? You want me to hold my breath for the rest of the show?

[Dan Le Batard]

I don't. But when I'm talking about Michael Jordan and suffocating somebody. Allen Houston talked about the next day after they beat Michael Jordan. And Jamal Mashburn tells this story. He says Michael Jordan comes out and says he's not going to get his hands over his shoulders today for a shot. Alan Houston is going to come out here and he's not going to get his hands over his shoulders. And Jamal Mashburn is looking at us, at the camera. He's like, this is the day I questioned whether I could be a pro. Alan Houston never got his hands over his shoulders in the next practice. I was watching. And so they continue to create the mythology around Michael Jordan even while telling you a bunch of college kids beat.

[Chris Cody]

Him so I don't have to see it anymore.

[Stugatz]

Yeah. Spoiler alert.

[Dan Le Batard]

Did I ruin it for everybody?

[Chris Cody]

Nah, I'll get around to it. I, you know, still have to watch Conclave.

[Dan Le Batard]

Well, you, you recommended something. I will tell you something I have not done before that arrived the other day. At 56 years old, it's not a life or a feeling that I've had in my life. At Saturday morning at 7am My dark princess of a wife decides Nosferatu is what she wants to watch. An artistic masterpiece. Like just beautifully romantic and haunting and totally creepy.

[Chris Cody]

Did you like it?

[Dan Le Batard]

Yes, I did. Well, yeah, I liked it. But I, I would say I like it just because you're being transported to a different, like just a weird time with how it is that they're doing all darkness.

[Chris Cody]

Well, that's how Robert Eggers gets down in terms of being able to transport you to another world. No one really wraps you in it quite like he does.

[Dan Le Batard]

The romance of it, though. And I don't think Greg Cody, when's the last time you saw a movie of any kind? It's just aggressive. 7am on a Saturday is aggressive. To welcome that kind of gold.

[Chris Cody]

That means dick around 7:45. Yeah, it's too early to see Count Orlok's dick.

[Dan Le Batard]

Have you read anything though about. It's a Sarsgaard that does the role of Orlok and you would never know it from.

[Chris Cody]

This one's Bill watching.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah, but the voice work on that and the Length that he went to to personify evil with his voice was like. Was an actor as an artist really trying to get something right in the name of like. Like what I think most people would just dismiss as a vampire movie.

[Chris Cody]

What do you think of the mustache?

[Dan Le Batard]

No facial hair. No facial.

[Chris Cody]

It kind of boils down to did you like the mustache or not? For a lot of folks. And most people don't like the mustache. But the mustache look in Bram Stoker's Dracula. Dracula has a mustache that's referenced to a couple of times. If you want to be a nobleman from the 1600s, any respectable one had a mustache. A lot of people could not look past this.

[Mike Ryan]

So did Roncula.

[Dan Le Batard]

You guys think that I don't think of Dracula or vampires as having mustaches. I don't believe anybody does.

[Chris Cody]

You'd have a nobleman in the 1600s and you'd been dead for a while. You don't get around to shaving. Yeah. You had a mustache. That's authentic. That's what Robert Eggers does, man. This is what he does. Although there isn't a body of water between Germany and Transylvania. So for all the authenticity about Bobby eggs, I mean that's a really long, drawn out way to get to Germany.

[Dan Le Batard]

Have any of you watched horror at 7 o'clock in the morning on a Saturday morning?

[Chris Cody]

I think I watched a coffee table at that time.

[Stugatz]

Doesn't fit. It's not a fit. You gotta coordinate the movie style with the time of day.

[Chris Cody]

Love versus lust.

[Greg Cody]

I get enough horror at 7am on Saturday from how hungover I am.

[Billy]

That's Looney Tunes time. Honestly.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah. None of you are doing that with children. Greg Cody, I wanted to ask you because you're our football expert around here. When the Bengals, a notoriously cheap franchise, historically cheap laughing stock NFL cheap franchise before Joe Burrow that was perfectly happy just making money every season as a mom and pop shop that didn't was reputed in NFL circles circles is not caring about winning the way the other spenders right. Want to spend. They are faced and say they're going to sign Hendrickson T. Higgins and Jamar Chase. All of them. Now that would be signing everybody. Higgins was hurt this year. But that would be signing everybody from a team that wasn't good enough to make the playoffs. And that'd be that the amount of money that it would take to keep all of those players. Now that you've had to give Joe Burrow money the finances of all of that work. How? Because while it's very nice to say you will keep all of the players and you can tag Higgins as well. I don't see how you can have those four players and then have other players when Ja'marr Chase is going to want $40 million a year. And now you're paying Burrow and Ja'marr Chase and now you've got to pay all these other guys. Your defense was already bad last year in a way that it didn't matter how good Chase and Burrow were.

[Chris Cody]

They've addressed the defense. Defense. Al Golden.

[Stugatz]

That's true. Al golden, by the way, put on a few lbs. Okay.

[Dan Le Batard]

I don't think that's necessary since he's been at um.

[Stugatz]

I'm just saying he looks fine.

[Dan Le Batard]

What are you doing?

[Stugatz]

I'm just. Haven't we all, haven't we all just making a comment?

[Chris Cody]

It's unnecessary establish. He's got early on Paterno.

[Stugatz]

He's a public figure.

[Dan Le Batard]

How is this your comment when I ask you for your football expertise? Al golden has put on a few lbs since being my.

[Stugatz]

The NFL did increase its, its, its spending limit by what, $22 million or something. That'll help. They have to sign Hendrickson and Jamar Chase. To me, T. Higgins is, is sort of the, the odd man out here. I would hate to think that because they signed these guys it means they're going to have to deplete the roster elsewhere. But, but in the, in the afc, when you have Joe Burrow, you're a contender when you have a healthy Joe Burrow. But it's a much tougher conference than the NFC and you know, at best they're the third or fourth team in the conference. So it's. They're in a tough situation. But based on their preneurious history, I give them credit just for the public intent of re signing.

[Dan Le Batard]

Well, you're sort of obligated to. Right? Because once you've gotten to the situation where you're expect you have the expectations of being a contender because of who your quarterback is. You have to do the things to keep your quarterback happy. My question to you is, as we talk about this though, given that so many people are salary cap experts now, even though none of us are salary cap experts, even though we're obsessed with all of the money. I'm just asking you this. Generally, are there a lot of teams that you know that didn't make the playoffs, that you got to pay all four of their guys that, that a team that hasn't made the playoffs when what you got from that team last year was the rarest of things. The great quarterback play who doesn't make the playoffs, the healthy quarterback play that is great. And also not great enough to make the playoffs because of how they started. When you're being fiscally responsible, when you have to win in the margins, because even if they're advancing $20 million on the salary cap, you have to be better at the salary cap than other teams. Paying the four guys is what anybody would do. What hurts is you have to get rid of somebody in order to have the rest of the team. Because. Because the thing that's broken about the Bengals from where I'm standing is architecturally, if you get that season healthy from Burrow, you cannot fail to make the playoffs. Like you're broken in a way that doesn't portend well for your future. When Burrow was having the. All the great games and you were still losing when he put up 30.

[Stugatz]

Right. And you also can't shortchange the offensive line so that all of a sudden Joe Burrow is at risk. It's really a no win situation in that you can't resign. You can't sign all four of those guys and do right by the rest of the roster. That's why I don't see how they can sign Higgins. To me.

[Dan Le Batard]

Well, that's. But that's. Don't you just franchise him? Does it? He just gets a tag.

[Chris Cody]

Tagging him gives him a high number. You get some value there with the tag, but. And you're just kicking that.

[Dan Le Batard]

Can Burrow saying the same thing. He's saying there's all sorts of stuff I can do with signing bonuses. There's all sorts of stuff he can restructure for cap relief.

[Stugatz]

Yeah. That's what Philadelphia has done. They've made an art work of. Of finagling the system legally to do all that.

[Chris Cody]

Patriots said that for a very long time.

[Billy]

Where did you get that? Al golden has put on a lot of weight. I mean, he honestly looks better than when he was running around the, um, sidelines in a suit.

[Chris Cody]

I agree.

[Stugatz]

Okay. Look at him.

[Billy]

He doesn't look big there.

[Stugatz]

A little cheeky.

[Billy]

Cheeky.

[Chris Cody]

He's always had those. Like that Rose show.

[Stugatz]

Yeah, he looks pretty good, you know, some time at the Al golden corral, that guy, you know, but look, look, I haven't missed a meal either. I mean, aren't you a journalist?

[Dan Le Batard]

How could you get that wrong? How could you only analysis of the Bengals be that and you get it wrong?

[Stugatz]

I've been told by sources.

[Jerbear]

Hey, friends, it's Jerbear here and I'm.

[Dan Le Batard]

Here to tell you all about Boost.

[Jerbear]

Mobile, which is now a legit nationwide 5G network. So I must take a break from.

[Dan Le Batard]

The jokes here for a second and.

[Jerbear]

Put on my serious voice because I would never, ever joke about a 5G network that has invested billions building 5G towers across the country. Not even once. Not even if Mr. Boost Mobile himself asked me to. There is nothing funny about it. Boost Mobile is now a legit nationwide 5G network and also provides coverage across 99% of America. Seriously? Visit boostmobile.com or your nearest Boost Mobile store location to learn more. The Boost Mobile Network, together with our roaming partners, covers 99% of the US population 5G speeds not available in all areas.

[Kristen]

All right, I know I gotta do this ad read, but hold on, let me reapply did you hear that? Yep, that's my new favorite lip gloss from Nyx Cosmetics. Now I'm ready to talk to you. I've been a huge fan of NYX Cosmetics for many years now. In fact, I use their thickest It Stick it brow gel every single day. So you can imagine my excitement when we recently received a special delivery to the Lebitard Studios from our friends over at NYX Cosmetics. And there it was when I opened the box. Glowing. I heard the angels sing. It's their latest lip gloss, Fat Oil Lip Drip. It's NYX Cosmetics first lip oil of its kind. This creamy lip oil will have your lips dripping with fat perks. You get all the shine of a lip gloss and none of the stickiness while experiencing 12 hour hydration. I'm usually a matte lip gloss kind of gal. My normal go to is NYX Cosmetics Lip Gloss the Lingerie xxl. But after applying the status update shade I have found my new go to lip gloss. Fat Oil Lip Drip has high shine finish with comfortable wear and none of the sticky texture. A lip product that's hydrating, non sticky and only $9. Now that's a win. Try Fat Oil Lip Drip from Nyx Professional makeup. Available in 14 universally flattering shades. Find your perfect fat oil lip drip. Shop [e-mail] or a retailer near.