Hour 1: Driver Comfort & Some Soap In The Hand

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz

Episode: Hour 1: Driver Comfort & Some Soap In The Hand

Date: March 3, 2026

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Overview

Broadcast from the Elser Hotel in Downtown Miami, this episode delivers the signature blend of sports, oddball humor, and pop-culture musings the show is known for. The main focus is an in-depth debate about the unpredictability of the NBA playoffs—especially in the Eastern Conference—fueled by changes in play style, player movement, and the three-point revolution. The crew also dives into a lively sidebar about personal hygiene, the quirks of catchphrases, and the challenges of buying concert tickets online. As always, the conversation is spirited, irreverent, and loaded with tangents and inside jokes.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. NBA Playoff Unpredictability and the Eastern Conference

(00:08–13:41)

• Dan LeBatard kicks off with a big claim:
  “Almost for the entirety of my life, basketball has been the most predictable of the sports… But I think now more than ever because of the combination of the three pointer... you have the possibility of more randomness in professional basketball than you have had at any point in my lifetime.” (00:08)
• The panel debates which teams are true threats in the East (Boston, Detroit, Knicks, Cavs), and the issue of trusting James Harden in the postseason:
  • Dan: “James Harden represents the guy you trust the least anywhere in the playoffs, any sport.” (01:32)
  • Zaslow puts Lamar Jackson “in that territory” for playoff unreliability (01:59), with others agreeing.
• Cavaliers’ trade for James Harden:
  Consensus that Cleveland “got him for nothing,” but skepticism about his history.
  • Juju: “Their roster is constructed in such a way that, hey, if you do have that slump in the playoffs... [there are] minimal weaknesses… I believe in them more than I should.” (03:10)
  • Greg Cody: “I like Harden as a playmaker... I think he raises the ceiling for Evan Mobley as well. But… this team... is like, pretty damn soft. Like, I just want to know what happens when we punch the Cavs in the mouth.” (03:41)
• On Boston as the favorite:
  • Dan: “I don't know why anybody would pick anyone other than Boston with Jayson Tatum returning.” (04:52)
  • Juju: Notes Celtics’ past playoff softness: “They also were embarrassed by the New York Knickerbockers in the playoffs for their toughness.” (05:18)
  • Questions about how adding Tatum back into an already successful system might require an adjustment period, with Mike Ryan calling this “the most obvious thing in the world.” (05:49)
• Statistical Dominance:
  • Dan forcefully argues: “80 seasons, 2000 teams, there have been like three that win the way Boston does on the road by margins this large. And you guys are arguing ... bringing back Tatum, that's bad.” (08:13)
• Three-point volatility:
  • “If everyone's taking 50 threes and on one of the days they only make nine... You're going to get what James Harden's Houston team had against Golden State when they lost a Game 7 at home because they couldn't make any of their 44 threes.” (10:47 & 11:46)

Memorable Quotes

• Dan: “I'm looking at 80 NBA seasons, I'm looking at 2000 teams and OKC and Boston are two of them. I think there have been like three all time who win this way on the road by not small margins.” (08:42)

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2. Quirky Debates: Showers, Soap, and Greg Cody's Hygiene Rituals

(18:48–22:41)

• Dan shares the revelation from Greg Cody’s show:
  The “Looks Like” segment’s origins and Greg’s insistence on using only a “bar of soap and my hand” in the shower—sparking disbelief and laughter.
  • Juju: “In the swimming pool? Yes. Juju, that is the correct way to react to that. It is foul beyond reason.” (19:54)
  • Greg Cody: “Look, I'm anti sponge. I'm anti loofah. What's left? Washcloth rags. No, no, I use my hand. I'm not embarrassed.” (21:31)
  • Panel incredulous about Cody’s claim of swimming-pool hair washing:
    Chris Cody: “The swimming pool gets the shampoo out of your hair a lot quicker than the shower does... the chlorine takes care of all the bubbles.” (20:40)
• A discussion of proper cleaning technique and “forming” soap bars leads to comic pantomimes and arguments over washcloth versus hand.
• Mike Ryan: “You cup your hand, you force a little air pocket in there. That's how you know the soap gets everywhere.” (22:17)

Notable Moment

• Dan: “It's neither great nor fantastic.” (20:52, on washing your hair in the pool)

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3. The Greg Cody Catchphrase Countdown

(22:53–29:38)

• Chris and Greg Cody unveil catchphrases #50 through #33 in Greg’s top 50, with each phrase spawning a story or debate.
  • Notables include:
    • “I am fuller than Vern Fuller.” (23:10)
    • “Hey, Butterfinger.” (23:16)
    • “Driver comfort is paramount.” (25:52) (which inspires the segment’s title)
    • “Dummy up.” (27:15)
• Dan: Amused at how the order is essentially random.
  • “The egregious mistake that Zaslow's making is thinking these are in any order whatsoever.” (27:49)
• The show is collectively delighted by the sincerity and random nature of Greg’s self-styled ranking:
  • Chris: “There's a little serendipity involved here. I mean, it's not an exact science, you know, catchphrases.” (28:37)

Memorable Exchange

• Dan: “You just gave us 17. All of which are better than the one that you're saying is the best numeric.” (28:57)

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4. Concert Ticket Woes, Bots, Metallica, and Online Frustrations

(30:33–34:39)

• Zaslow relays his saga of attempting to buy Metallica tickets at the Sphere in Las Vegas, encountering 305,000 people in front of him in the virtual queue:
  • “305,000 people. Which you have to assume some of these people, if not all of them, are going to try and purchase two tickets. So seven hundred... this isn’t for like any of the eight shows. This is for one specific show. Seven hundred thousand tickets.” (33:26)
• Discussion about ticket bots and the harsh new realities of “sold out” events.
• Mike Ryan: “Most of those things are not human. That’s how this works these days. Those are all bots.” (34:33–34:39)

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5. Bruno Mars, Gambling, and Vegas Residency Tales

(34:39–38:38)

• Discussion turns to rumors about Bruno Mars’ alleged gambling debts effectively consuming his Vegas residency earnings—parallels to Elvis and other legends, and the dangerous synergy of superstars and Las Vegas.
  • Dan: “If indeed you have a gambling problem, a residency in Las Vegas ... you can just go to the casino and run through it… call a pit boss over and say, hey, extend me a line of credit.” (35:39)
  • Cites Dana White’s personal gambling mishap as a cautionary tale (36:28).
• Elvis’s manager (“The Colonel”) allegedly racked up the equivalent of $146 million in debts that kept Elvis working residencies. (36:28)

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6. Pablo Torre Wins an Award (the "Ambies")

(38:38–40:07)

• Dan congratulates frequent collaborator Pablo Torre on a podcasting award, yielding a self-deprecating but warm acceptance speech:
  • Pablo Torre: “...sports feels like the cheese you melt on the broccoli of journalism...” (39:19)
• The panel jokes about not knowing what the Ambies are, and which show awards really matter:
  • Chris: “Yeah. I can't believe I haven't won one yet for my catchphrase countdown.” (40:03)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Dan LeBatard:
  • “James Harden represents the guy you trust the least anywhere in the playoffs, any sport.” (01:32)
  • “80 seasons, 2000 teams, there have been like three that win the way Boston does on the road by margins this large.” (08:13)
• Greg Cody: “Look, I'm anti sponge. I'm anti loofah. What's left? Washcloth rags. No, no, I use my hand.” (21:31)
• Chris Cody (shower talk): “The swimming pool gets the shampoo out of your hair a lot quicker than the shower does...” (20:40)
• Zaslow (ticket rant): “305,000 people are in front of me… This isn’t for like any of the eight shows. This is for one specific show.” (33:26)
• Mike Ryan (on bots): “Most of those things are not human. That’s how this works these days.” (34:33)
• Pablo Torre (award speech): “...sports feels like the cheese you melt on the broccoli of journalism.” (39:19)

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Important Timestamps

• NBA Playoff Unpredictability: 00:08–13:41
• Boston vs. The Field in the East: 05:49–09:23
• Three-point Volatility & Playoff Randomness: 10:47–11:46
• Cody Hygiene/Shower Debate: 18:48–22:41
• Greg Cody Catchphrase Countdown: 22:53–29:38
• Ticketmaster Woes/Metallica Segment: 30:33–34:39
• Bruno Mars & Vegas Gambling Segment: 34:39–38:38
• Pablo Torre Wins Ambie: 38:38–40:07

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Tone and Language

In true Le Batard Show fashion, the tone is irreverent, playful, and often self-mocking. Long-standing inside jokes mix with sharp sports analysis and grassroots Miami flavor. Segments veer from serious basketball debate to comically intimate (and uncomfortable) revelations about personal habits, all delivered with rapid banter and tongue-in-cheek sincerity.

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For Listeners Who Missed the Episode

This episode is a quintessential snapshot of the Dan Le Batard Show’s unique ethos—insightful sports commentary colliding with bizarre humor and affectionate ribbing. If you want a lens into NBA playoff dynamics, a primer on the “catchphrase economy,” or just want to hear a grown man justify washing his hair in a swimming pool, this episode is essential listening.

Transcript

[Dan LeBatard]

This is the Dan Levatar show with the Stugats podcast.

Almost for the entirety of my life, basketball has been the most predictable of the sports because it has a measurement system that doesn't allow for as many random results in a seven game series. But I think now more than ever because of the combination of the three pointer and, and everyone during the regular season doing everything they can just to be maximum healthy by the time the playoffs get here, I think you have the possibility of more randomness in professional basketball than you have had at any point in my lifetime. When I'm looking at the Eastern Conference, we should fix that, maybe swallow. When I'm looking at the Eastern Conference, I see four teams that have a legitimate chance. I don't know what to do with Philadelphia because I don't know if Joel Embiid is going to play in a seven game series, all seven games. But you, you have Boston, Detroit, the Knicks and the Cavs and only one of those teams is trusted and Jason Tatum is now returning to that team. I don't think anybody trusts Detroit, I don't think anybody trusts the Knicks and I don't think anybody trusts the Cavs. And James Harden, while I like that as an addition, I think I can make the argument that right now in sports more than anyone else, James Harden represents the guy you trust the least anywhere in the playoffs, any sport. Give me who's second place right now when I say to you who's got the reputation of a playoff choker? So you've got Cleveland coming after Boston, which has already won the championship and has Jason Tatum Robert returning. And the big move is we've got Harden now the least trusted postseason player there is anywhere in sports.

[Zaslow]

It's not to the level of Harden, but I think Lamar Jackson's kind of in that territory.

[Mike Ryan]

That is a good one. That is a good one. We got into this conversation a little bit last week which is, you know, you can maybe make a case. When he was in Philadelphia, I know he had the bad elimination game, but it was really hard and reveling in that. It didn't have to be be just him. And here at this age in his career, less so. The expectations are you're one of the worst playoff performers of all time. When you consider your reputation entering it. This is kind of a, when you consider the market, this is kind of a low stakes deal for James Harden. He may actually flourish in this type of scenario.

[Zaslow]

I'm not a Harden guy, obviously. I don't want to count on him in the playoffs. But to me, this was a grand slam trade for the Cavaliers and mainly because they got him for nothing. Like the guy that they traded for. I understand he's younger. Garland never plays. He's hardly played this year. He was in street clothes all of last year's postseason watching the Pacers roll through his team. He finally made his debut at the Clippers last night. So to me, like, they added Harden for nothing. That's a massive positive.

[Dan LeBatard]

Right?

[Juju]

And their roster is constructed in such a way that, hey, if you do have that slump in the playoffs, Jalen Tyson, get them. Hey, Donovan Mitchell, you move over there. Hey, Dennis Schroeder, MVP of Germany right now. Hey, why don't you give it a shot? Like, they have very minimal weaknesses on that roster as constructed. So I believe in them more than I should.

[Mike Ryan]

And the acquisition Trista was made to kind of combat the issues that the Knicks have been given them. I know we don't have a. We don't have a huge sample of Harden matching up against the Knicks, but so far, so good.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Dan LeBatard]

Yeah.

[Greg Cody]

I like Harden as a playmaker and I like the way that he's elevated Jared Allen. I know that we're all in on, like, Black History Month Jared Allen and how elite he's been, and I think he raises the ceiling for Evan Mobley as well. But, like, this team outside of maybe Keon Ellis is like, pretty damn soft. Like, I just want to know what happens when we punch the Cavs in the mouth and we'll see what happens.

[Dan LeBatard]

Did Jared Allen, one of the times that the Knicks took out the Cavs and the Cavs had all sorts of frontline problems with the Knicks, Jarrett Allen did not play since Harden got there. Every time I look up in the first quarter, Jared Allen has 6 for 7. And I assume that it's just dunks that he's just getting alley oops off of dunks that Harden and Mitchell are creating.

[Mike Ryan]

And even though he's not reputed to be this real tough, hard nosed player, the way that Harden gets buckets with his big frame, that's toughness on foul baiting. Yeah. On the basketball court. And honestly, defensively, I look up in some fourth quarters, there was one game he had four blocks. He's a big dude. And against the likes of Jalen Brunson on a switch, like, he can use his size. He's actually helping them.

[Dan LeBatard]

Last night was a bad basketball night. But maybe you noticed that Boston without Jaylen Brown went back to Milwaukee. And with Milwaukee having antetokounmpo back beat him by 30. I don't know why anybody would pick anyone other than Boston with Jayson Tatum returning. The last time I saw Jason Tatum not be hurt and playing for the Celtics regularly, didn't they win 65 games that season?

[Juju]

They did, but they also were embarrassed by the New York Knickerbockers in the playoffs for their toughness.

[Mike Ryan]

Don't let the revisionist history tell you that they were to won that had Tatum not gotten hurt because they were on their way out.

[Greg Cody]

Yeah, I think the thing, if you look at this version of the Celtics, it's just a master class from Joe Missoula and the coaching staff. The ball is popping around, moving, spacing and everything looks really good, regardless of getting rid of Kristaz Porzingis, getting rid of Jrue Holiday, et cetera, et cetera.

[Mike Ryan]

But that's where I'm saying what I think is like the most obvious thing. Yes, the ball movement, the crisp ball movement. Like you, you insert Jayson Tatum into this and I know he's of the system, he knows it, but he plays a different game than they're playing right now. So I do think that there's going to be an acclimation period and I don't like that this is being positioned as a hot take. I think it's the most obvious thing in the world that it might take them 10 games to figure the reintroduction of Tatum out into their lineup.

[Zaslow]

Probably with the news that Tatum is likely returning this week, the Celtics are Now, according to DraftKings Sportsbook, the odds on favorites to win the East.

[Dan LeBatard]

You guys are underestimating how good this team has been. It's them and okc top five offense, top five defense, scoring margin. Like you guys to, to. To trust James Harden and Cleveland as the thing that can knock out something that's been that formidable. You guys are really hating on the Celtics in a way that's not empirically accurate.

[Chris]

I trust Boston to reach the finals, but nobody thinks they're going to win in a West weighted league right now.

[Greg Cody]

I think they could. You've got OKC with injuries. I think that's the biggest question mark. So if OKC ends up, I don't know, facing an Aaron Gordon, healthy Denver team and maybe you've got injury issues with that team. They're very thin as well. I could see OKC getting knocked out a little bit early. You see all of the different things that have been going on with Jalen Williams, Isaiah Hartenstein, Alex Crusoe. They've been and obviously Shay Gilder, Sally Alexander missed a bunch of time too. So say they get knocked out by Denver, Denver maybe gets knocked out by Minnesota. I mean depend or depending on how the standings in the table fall. But I could see absolutely Boston coming in and playing a Spurs team or a Denver team with a, with a creaky Aaron Gordon hamstring. And they can mess around and win the whole thing in a year that was supposed to be a gap year. We never know how the west is going to shake out, especially how deep they are.

[Mike Ryan]

I don't think we know how the east is going to shake out. Right now we're in the stretch of NBA history that is the most unpredictable. Look at the recent champions. And while I understand Dan's conviction, he has always been bullish on the Boston Celtics. I heard this for a full season and then they lost to the Knicks. You take that tier of four teams over there and I think it's anybody's ball game at this point, right.

[Juju]

And remember, all James Harden has to do is be better than a turf toe Darius Garland in the playoffs and tied the damn Jerome like bro. I think he can handle that.

[Dan LeBatard]

So what you guys are doing though, that ignores all of the math of all of basketball. 80 seasons, 2000 teams, there have been like three that win the way Boston does on the road by margins this large. And you guys are arguing as you argue, oh, they got James Harden now. Oh, but bringing back Tatum, that's bad.

[Mike Ryan]

They lost.

[Dan LeBatard]

That's the argument you guys are.

[Mike Ryan]

They lost to a worse Knicks team than are in any of the clubs that we're talking about right now.

[Dan LeBatard]

Tatum got hurt. I'm not disagreeing with you that the Knicks, you're trying. You trust the Knicks at your own risk. You go ahead and trust the Knicks if you want to do that. I'm looking at 80 NBA seasons, I'm looking at 2000 teams and OKC and Boston are two of them. I think there have been like three all time who win this way on the road by not small margins. They just went to Milwaukee and won by 30.

[Juju]

That's the key word, Milwaukee. But remember they, they, they're a jump shooting team. And when they go cold, those jump sh. Cold in the playoffs, they keep shooting them. That's their kryptonite. It's not that we know how good they are, but they won't drive the ball to the hole when it matters. You feel me?

[Zaslow]

I would also just add when it comes to Boston, this isn't the same Celtic team that's been competing for championships the last couple seasons.

[Dan LeBatard]

You say that it's not true Holiday and it's not Porzingis, but it is a team. You cannot argue that what you've seen from them right now without Tatum doesn't impress you. Because I, I remember they, the way they got eliminated last year. I'm like, are you guys sure that if they lose Tatum, they don't just become as good as the Pacers, they don't just fall with. If Jaylen Brown, you talk about that 10 game transition. If I give them 10 more games to run it all through Jaylen Brown, I don't think they lose to, I don't think they lose like that to, to the Knicks or Indiana. I think that I, I think that what they have less has shown you this season. You're giving Missoula the credit. I'm looking at a top five offensive and defensive rating from a bunch of spare parts that they've put together that are clearly better than we thought they were. Because we're sitting here talking about Tatum and Jaylen Brown all the time as if Derrick White isn't often their best

[Greg Cody]

player and the Miaskeda was discarded by Sacramento and he's been freaking awesome. I mean, you're just looking at a coaching staff that I think in the east is the best in the business.

[Juju]

They're very, they're very awesome. But just let's not sleep on Detroit's toughness. Let's not sleep on whenever the lights are brightest in New York, what they do. So as good as the Celtics. I'm a Celtics guy. I just see my team and I

[Dan LeBatard]

know their inefficiency over the last 15 games. The Knicks are the best defense in the league. I don't know what kind of samples you guys like to use with this stuff and I think it's tricky because the samples during the regular season don't matter because everyone is just trying to get to the postseason healthy. Everyone is sort of like tapping the brakes during the season so that I really do think that if basketball, if this thing you're talking about with the threes and how the Celtics take them this season should be predictable, Jayson Tatum should come back. And the way OKC and Boston play when they're healthy, it should easily be Boston and OKC because you don't often get top five offensive and defensive ratings. But I think the thing that throws everything into upheaval is what Juju's talking about. If everyone's taking 50 threes and on one of the days they only make Nine of them. You're going to get what James Harden's Houston team had against Golden State when they lost a Game 7 at home because they couldn't make any of their 44 threes.

[Greg Cody]

I think Jaylen Brown has proved though that he can put his head down and get to the rack. I'm still very worried about if I'm rooting for the Knicks, picking on Karl Anthony Townsends and picking on Jalen Brunson and just putting them in hell and targeting them defensively like we saw teams do against Luka. Like you have two really bad defenders on this team. You also have Karl Anthony Towns taking the least amount of shots in his career, least amount of minutes. And I think that's a big problem as well. Yeah, like top, top defensive rating in the last 15 games. But what were they to start the season? This is a very roller coaster team. I also just don't trust Mike Brown. Like I don't trust him at all.

[Mike Ryan]

That's a big one. And in this stretch of 15 games, yeah, been impressive. But the Cavs roster construction gave him problems.

[Dan LeBatard]

Trusting Missoula though, she's, she's.

[Mike Ryan]

Well, you are too. And like I hear I've. I like their team better when they lost to the Knicks. And yes, the ball movement, like I said, they run it through Jaylen Brown. Who can stop them? There is one guy, he's on their team. The call's coming from inside the house. That's a guy that can mucky everything up. Did I say mucky? I'll leave.

[Juju]

I'll talk before you leave. Remember, they blew 20 point leads.

[Dan LeBatard]

Minor penalty, two minutes for leaking confidence.

[Zaslow]

Wow.

[Mike Ryan]

I was right at the threshold of too much battle. Basketball.

[Dan LeBatard]

The wrong word too. I know that you felt wow. I didn't watch Karl Anthony Town. I saw, I saw Karl Anthony Towns. I saw that Wembanyama had one of the worst statistical games of his life with Karl Anthony Towns bothering him. I'm asking with a question mark because I didn't see the game. Did. Was Carl Anthony Towns doing something to Wembanyama that made him look like that when they played against the Knicks?

[Juju]

Absolutely not. He was just missing shots and they were on an 11 game win streak Sunday afternoon. You dig it. Early game from San Antonio. That's like 10am There. They were destined to lose that game.

[Zaslow]

You know about that time difference.

[Greg Cody]

You know that west to East.

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[Mike Ryan]

Mike Ryan, and I want to talk to you about the random midweek hang that you have with your friends. Maybe it's an NBA game. You get a text, hey, come over. You want to watch the game? And maybe you're like, I don't know, I kind of just wanted to stay home. And then you think about it after your buddy hits you up and you know, just the thing that'll make that regular hang, that regular midweek hang around the basketball game into a special time, into a Miller time. That's right. This happened to me just last week. I grabbed a six pack of Miller Lite, said I was on my way, and next thing you know, we're arguing about rotations. Like we're on the coaching staff yelling about a missed call, and the game's coming down in the final possession. It was one of those nights that you look around, you take a sip and you think, yeah, this was the right call and my friendship's stronger for it. Cheers to legendary moments with Miller Lite. Great taste. 96 calories. Go to millerlight.com dan to find delivery options near you. Or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. It's Miller time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Co. Milwaukee, Wisconsin 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.

[Dan LeBatard]

People always talk about New Year's resolutions. You Know, eat better, work out more, etc. Etc. We might still be early in 2026, but I'm sure most of you have already broken your resolutions. Me, I'm still going. My resolutions are simple. Be comfortable, especially at the rink. If you know me, you know that hockey isn't just something I watch, it's something I live. Late nights, cold arenas, long playoff runs. You're on your feet a lot. And if your socks aren't right, you feel it badly. That's why I've been rocking Bomba's sports socks. The cushion exactly where you need it. Sweat, wicking, supportive. Basically built for movement. Whether I'm at the game, skating a little myself, or pacing around during overtime, like I somehow affect the outcome, they keep me locked in and comfortable. And when I finally get home to break down everything that happened on the ice. Bombas has the everyday stuff, too. Slippers, tees, underwear, all ridiculously soft. It's the kind of comfort you don't think about because you don't have to. Head to bombas.com dan and use code dan for 20% off your first purchase as B O M B-A-S.com D A N. Code D A N. Don LeBatard.

[Chris]

What do I got here? I got a Magnum condom. We won't get that out.

[Dan LeBatard]

That's shocking. Stugats.

[Chris]

Here's a picture of Christopher when he was like three years old.

[Dan LeBatard]

Right next to the condo.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah.

[Dan LeBatard]

Never forget, this is the Dan Levatar show with the stugats. The time difference between San Antonio in New York or the General. Okay.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah.

[Juju]

Don't fact check me there. I was just doing my.

[Dan LeBatard]

I don't. I. I don't actually know what that is it an hour difference between San Antonio. I was right. The central time zone always gives me some problems.

[Zaslow]

Mountain I never understood. I don't even think that's a real thing. That's the tricky one.

[Dan LeBatard]

Put it on the poll at Le Batar Show. Trickier Time zone. Mountain or Central?

[Zaslow]

Like it's Mountain. Only if I'm on a mountain. How does that work?

[Chris]

I always thought it'd be weird to live right where the demarcation line is. Like it's 3pm here, but if you walk across the street, that has to be the case.

[Matt]

I can go to lunch an hour earlier.

[Zaslow]

Like, am I one time and my neighbor is a different time?

[Matt]

That's crazy.

[Dan LeBatard]

All over the country, that has to be the case.

[Chris]

I know, right?

[Juju]

It's like that in Columbus, Georgia. It's like a short drive to Alabama. So the time changes, like right there. It's crazy.

[Dan LeBatard]

I mean, Alabama shouldn't be a different time. Like, I don't think Alabama feels like it's from a different time zone.

[Mike Ryan]

We have parts in Florida that are in the different time zone.

[Dan LeBatard]

What parts are those in Pensacola?

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah. When I start, I've made the drive to Gulf Shores, Alabama, and I get into central time around Panama City.

[Dan LeBatard]

The Greg Cody show featuring Greg Cody has an update on catchphrases and also a conversation that will not surprise you. I believe ground zero on our looks like game is former Utah coach Jerry Sloan. Looks like he washes his hair with a bar of soap. I believe that was the very first of the Looks like it might have been that or Vladi Divach looks like he plays smoking a cigarette. Yes, it's one or the other. I don't remember what started it, but I learned from the most recent episode of the Greg Cody show featuring Greg Cody that he doesn't want anything in the shower with him to clean himself other than a bar of soap and my hand. Now you. You Ayo.

[Matt]

Exactly. We spend way too much time on it.

[Mike Ryan]

On this episode, for those of you

[Dan LeBatard]

who are new to the Greg Cody hygiene experience, he often takes a bath shampooing his hair in the pool after

[Matt]

a round of golf.

[Dan LeBatard]

In the swimming pool? Yes. Juju, that is the correct way to react to that. It is foul beyond reason.

[Chris]

I wouldn't say often, but certainly occasionally.

[Zaslow]

Do you keep a bottle of shampoo

[Chris]

outside when I'm about to do it? Yeah.

[Matt]

No, he brings it outside, he put

[Chris]

the bottle of champagne shampoo.

[Juju]

You go to the shower to get the shower right and take it to the.

[Matt]

Zaz was asking if you leave one permanently.

[Chris]

Oh, no, no, I don't.

[Dan LeBatard]

He bypasses the correct place to shower in favor of the place with chlorine in his hair.

[Chris]

We've all done that.

[Dan LeBatard]

No, this is not true. Put it on the poll at lebartard show. Have you ever used shampoo in the swimming pool on your hair? I don't believe we've all done that.

[Chris]

I tell you what, the swimming pool gets the shampoo out of your hair a lot quicker than the shower does. I go dunk, whip my head back and we're done. It's great. It's fantastic.

[Dan LeBatard]

It's neither great nor fantastic.

[Chris]

And the chlorine takes care of all the bubbles. They all disappear.

[Dan LeBatard]

What?

[Chris]

No harm, no foul. Nobody knows.

[Dan LeBatard]

It is both harmful and foul.

[Chris]

Not either.

[Dan LeBatard]

It is. It is. Everyone listening to this is like, that's not that you're not clean after that. You're covered in chlorine.

[Chris]

Chlorine is a cleansing product.

[Dan LeBatard]

Yeah, for bath tile, for. Not for your hair.

[Matt]

So we ended up talking about the full shower experience, and we ended up in the nether regions in which my dad said he goes straight bar of soap, and he likes forms over time, the bar takes a different shape. Like he said it.

[Chris]

Look, I'm anti sponge. I'm anti loofah. What's left? Washcloth rags. No, no, I use my hand. I'm not embarrassed. Visual. I don't believe in a wash. Credit

[Matt]

card usually, like, soap up the wrist and go credit card. Like, what's happening?

[Dan LeBatard]

We've covered some of this before on Two Americas. Like, wash the washcloth. You can't. You can't go hand there. You can't.

[Mike Ryan]

No, I'm with Greg. It's got to make a sound. That's how you know it's working.

[Dan LeBatard]

Well, Chris, Cody, I don't know if you guys saw what he was pantomiming with his hand, but he.

[Matt]

He said it on the show that he performed the soap over time. It starts as a normal bar and

[Chris]

it forms, well, of course, over weeks, the. The sharp edges are rounded, and then it becomes easier and easier to soap up your hands.

[Mike Ryan]

You cup your hand, you force a little air pocket in there. That's how you know the soap gets everywhere.

[Chris]

I mean, nothing gets there like the hand, I'll tell you that.

[Greg Cody]

How does it scrub you without any nubs?

[Chris]

I just know what I know. I mean, you know, I don't want to go into great detail.

[Mike Ryan]

How does it get in there without any fingers?

[Chris]

Well, the hand.

[Dan LeBatard]

The finger.

[Mike Ryan]

I was defending you. Don't worry about it.

[Chris]

Oh, thank you, Greg.

[Dan LeBatard]

How many times do you think you're going to say today, I know what I know, and have it be something that no one else knows.

[Chris]

Okay, I'm providing exclusive information.

[Dan LeBatard]

What are your catchphrases this week on the Greg Coates feature? I think it's 33 and 34.

[Chris]

We're on 34 and 33 in that order. We go from high to low. Started at 50, we'll go all the way to one.

[Dan LeBatard]

All right, let's do them all here from 50 to 33, shall we? Number 50.

[Chris]

I am fuller than Vern Fuller.

[Dan LeBatard]

49.

[Chris]

Where's my click click?

[Dan LeBatard]

48.

[Chris]

Hey, Butterfinger.

[Dan LeBatard]

47.

[Chris]

Hunt.

[Dan LeBatard]

46.

[Chris]

Grantin.

[Dan LeBatard]

45.

[Chris]

I'm busier than a one armed paper hanger.

[Dan LeBatard]

44.

[Chris]

Georgia. Georgia.

[Dan LeBatard]

43.

[Chris]

I'm the kind of guy that.

[Dan LeBatard]

42.

[Chris]

Ball on the jack.

[Dan LeBatard]

That's what you're doing in the shower. 41.

[Chris]

Hey, hey, with the monkeys, baby.

[Dan LeBatard]

40.

[Chris]

Thank you, Billy.

[Dan LeBatard]

39.

[Chris]

I love him like a pet. 38. Who made it a salad? You asked for it. Who did make it?

[Dan LeBatard]

I'd forgotten about that one. So just to be clear on that one, Is that an old Italian waiter? Like what? Who's saying who made of the salad?

[Matt]

Who.

[Dan LeBatard]

What? What? What is saying that?

[Chris]

It's when I say it, I picture myself as chef Boyardee.

[Zaslow]

But he says it a lot when someone's not even making a salad, right?

[Chris]

If a salad is in proximity, it's appropriate. Who made it a salad?

[Dan LeBatard]

When you say Chef Boyardee, I saw another good looks like for Zaslo. I don't know whether it would make the tournament or how highly ranked it would be, but that Zaslo looks like someone who, when he makes a mistake,

[Matt]

says, oh, Spaghettio, that is a tournament team. I can confirm and we can announce we are bringing back looks like tournament this year.

[Dan LeBatard]

Zaslo's got a few so far out of work down on his, you know, luck mime. Zaslow's got a few. 37.

[Chris]

We're rolling now, huh?

[Dan LeBatard]

36.

[Chris]

You brain beating me?

[Dan LeBatard]

You stole that from former University of Miami and Miami Dolphins offensive coordinator Gary Stevens, didn't you?

[Chris]

Ah, but I made it my own.

[Dan LeBatard]

That's stolen. That's not even your catchphrase.

[Matt]

A lot of these originate from other people.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah, look, there's a certain Mr. Parmalee that's gonna pop up during the proceedings that I'm sure was taken.

[Dan LeBatard]

Possible.

So there are two Gary Stevens in your top 50. There are two you've sold.

[Matt]

He doesn't know yet.

[Chris]

Yeah, I can't reveal that.

[Dan LeBatard]

35.

[Zaslow]

Literally can't reveal it.

[Chris]

Let's go. States.

[Mike Ryan]

I killed at the club during the celebration.

[Dan LeBatard]

Thank you.

[Chris]

I appreciate you shouting it out like that.

[Dan LeBatard]

34.

[Chris]

Driver comfort is paramount.

[Matt]

Any road trip. The Cody's go on. Dad, can you turn the air down? Driver comfort is paramount.

[Chris]

Indeed it is.

[Dan LeBatard]

So after. Where's my click? Click later in the trip. Right. So many of these are things that appear on long car rides.

[Chris]

Yeah, I don't know about many, but some of them.

[Matt]

Stay tuned for the traveling Goats.

[Mike Ryan]

You would think that this was clumped in with me Maximum. That that would cover you when you're driving.

[Chris]

They are related.

[Matt]

Mi Maximum's in the hotel room when you want to leave the TV on for longer than he wants.

[Chris]

Yeah. If you're doing etymology, deep dive into this list. The etymology is that that driver comfort is Paramount and Mi Maximum are in the same neighborhood, parking in the same garage, as Damoshek would say.

[Dan LeBatard]

So, Mike, I appreciate that you just fell out of screen because I'm assuming. You assume. Enjoying the same way I do. When you go to the depths of Greg Cody's narcissism and ask him questions about the things that he cares about, which are a precious few, like his catchphrases. You saw how it's a sincerity. Yes. You saw how he was like, they're related. Thank you.

[Mike Ryan]

And this is important.

[Dan LeBatard]

Thank you for asking.

[Chris]

They are related.

[Mike Ryan]

Totally.

[Chris]

I'm not making it up.

[Mike Ryan]

Sometimes you throw me number 33, dummy

[Chris]

up,

[Mike Ryan]

man, I love this countdown. I have, like, tickets waiting to see if they're gonna cash. Like, top 25.

[Chris]

Thank you.

[Mike Ryan]

I'm a big Bernie Parmalee guy. I'm a big rubber tree plant guy.

[Chris]

Okay. They're all in the mix.

[Zaslow]

So dummy up is your best one of all those.

[Matt]

Dummy up. We were kind of debating on what it is. To me, dummy up has always been like, hey, pay attention here. I've used that in this room. If, like, people are talking back here, and Dan's like, hey, going down. They dummy up. It's more of like, hey, get, get ready here.

[Zaslow]

But of all those phrases, dummy up is clearly that.

[Dan LeBatard]

The major. The egregious mistake that Zaslow's making is thinking these are in any order whatsoever.

[Mike Ryan]

Like, I know that numerical, but he's got on to that.

[Dan LeBatard]

It's just when they are a numerical.

[Matt]

Every week, he's like, hey, I thought of another one. I just added, like, that's not how top 50.

[Dan LeBatard]

He's gonna get to number one, and they're gonna be like, seven that we want to hear that aren't going to be in the top 50.

[Chris]

The quality is going to grow.

[Matt]

Once a week, you're texting me that you added a new one to the list.

[Mike Ryan]

List maker comfort is paramount.

[Zaslow]

So you're telling me when this list is done, you may get to number one, which, for all intents and purposes, on a top 50, number one is the best.

[Dan LeBatard]

Should be.

[Zaslow]

But you're telling me we can get to number one and you'll look back and, like, number 20 something's actually your best?

[Chris]

I don't think that's going to happen. No.

[Dan LeBatard]

You're not sure, though, Once again, it's

[Mike Ryan]

a sincerity for me.

[Chris]

You know what? There's a little serendipity involved here. I mean, it's not an exact science, you know, catchphrases.

[Dan LeBatard]

But it's also not. It's not respecting the way every other numerical list throughout time has worked.

[Matt]

You are not like top 50 basketball players of all time. That is just throwing a good one at 32.

[Dan LeBatard]

You just gave us 17. All of which are better than the one that you're saying is the best numeric.

[Mike Ryan]

Look, there's a lot of difference in scenarios. We'll see how it plays out.

[Chris]

Yeah. I mean, like any top 50 list, you know, you got Carl Malone ranked higher than I do. You know, you got dummy up ranked lower than I like dummy up.

[Zaslow]

But we know that Malone is going to be, like, somewhere, you know, not on the list.

[Greg Cody]

Not on the list. Karl Malone does not make the list top 50.

[Mike Ryan]

There is one list.

[Greg Cody]

We cannot. But yeah. And. And it's.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Mike Ryan]

Let's not talk about that.

[Dan LeBatard]

When she's.

[Mike Ryan]

We are a country at war.

[Dan LeBatard]

She brought us here.

[Mike Ryan]

We are a country at war.

[Dan LeBatard]

She brought us here. We weren't talking about that with Karl Malone. Next thing. He doesn't even know what we're talking about with Karl Malone.

[Mike Ryan]

I don't even know what list this is.

[Chris]

A random name of a good player who's maybe not that good and can't be near schools. I don't know.

[Dan LeBatard]

He doesn't know anything about that.

[Chris]

I don't.

[Dan LeBatard]

He does. Interesting.

[Mike Ryan]

I believe him.

[Dan LeBatard]

He doesn't know.

[Mike Ryan]

I'll show you during the break. It's wild. And then I'll show you this Jimmy Kimmel thing.

[Dan LeBatard]

Don LeBatard.

[Chris]

Quiet man.

[Juju]

Yes.

[Chris]

You know, I'm a married man. I don't cheat on my wife. Despite that gratuitous line in back in my Stugats. I wish you were here. My wife. I really miss her. No, I don't. That's the thing about being married, you know, you're not allowed to say, I don't miss my wife. I've been gone two days. I haven't been gone long enough to miss my wife. I'm sorry. I call her. I'm just going with her. 30 seconds. You know, what am I. Hello? All right. All right. We'll see you.

[Sponsor Voice]

All right.

[Chris]

And then, you know, I'm gonna see her in two days. I was jumping Charlie. Good.

[Dan LeBatard]

This is the Dan Levatar show with the Stugats. Zaza. When we mentioned tickets, I thought of you because of how desperately you want to go see Metallica and aren't going to be able.

[Zaslow]

I'm risking my health, potentially to go

[Dan LeBatard]

see Metallica because the Sphere is where it is that they're playing. You say that that bothers your Vertigo.

[Zaslow]

I assume it will. Yeah.

[Dan LeBatard]

But you're. Are you going to be able to get tickets? Because I don't think you're going to be able to get tickets.

[Zaslow]

Oh, no. I mean, look, you can always get tickets. There's no such thing as sold out for anything anymore. It's just a matter of how much you want to play. So pay. You can always get tickets. But yesterday. So Metallica is doing a residency at Sphere in October. I was just in Vegas. I refuse to go see anything at Sphere because I suffer from Vertigo and I. I. You know what? For people who don't know what Vertigo is, I'm not gonna sit here and say that I wouldn't wish Vertigo on my worst enemy. I don't understand. People say that they wouldn't wish something on their worst enemy. I would definitely want my worst enemy to have something terrible happen to them. So I'm not gonna say I wouldn't wish that on my worst. I would wish it on my worst enemy. But just trust me when I tell you Virgo's bad.

[Mike Ryan]

It's a sincerity for me.

[Juju]

Also, my mom has vertigo, so I definitely understand awful.

[Zaslow]

But I'm not gonna say I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. I probably would. All right. They're my enemy. But anyway, I didn't go to Sphere because I suffer from Vertigo. But Metallica is doing a residency in October at Sphere. I'm like, you know what? Maybe I take my boys, the Zazlow Men, we go see Metallica at Sphere. That's probably pretty awesome.

[Greg Cody]

Sounds expensive.

[Zaslow]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Greg Cody]

You know, I thought unrivaled was too rich for your blood, but Metallica, there's no. No expensive ticket. That's too expensive. You know, with the boys, we pick

[Zaslow]

and choose what we want to spend our money.

[Matt]

Sustained.

[Chris]

And you're cheating on Pearl Jam is what you're doing.

[Zaslow]

Okay. No, I'm like, I'm allowed to see other concerts.

[Chris]

No, you're not.

[Zaslow]

All right. I don't know what logic you're using, but I. I go. I sign online to Ticketmaster yesterday.

[Mike Ryan]

He had no time for it.

[Zaslow]

I signed online to Ticketmaster yesterday. It's the pre sale yesterday. I laugh in the face of your pre sales. I get all the pre sale codes, and so I sign on yesterday. You know, at the way it is for high demand shows on Ticketmaster. You Go in like a queue, you know, you join the waiting room, you go on a queue and it'll tell you how many people are ahead of you and the number will slowly dwindle down. And then you get into the room where you could pick your tickets.

[Matt]

I did it a few weeks ago. I was like 3,000.

[Zaslow]

Well, give this. Okay. I entered the queue yesterday for the Metallica presale. Dan, you will see I posted this on Twitter. There were a few people ahead of me in the queue. Would you like to tell the audio audience how many people the queue is saying aren't in front of me in line?

[Dan LeBatard]

300. 5360.

[Zaslow]

305,000 people. Which you have to assume some of these people, if not all of them, are going to try and purchase two tickets. So seven hundred. Now this isn't for like any of the eight shows. This is for one specific show. Seven hundred thousand tickets.

[Dan LeBatard]

Six hundred ten thousand. But okay, yes, whatever.

[Matt]

Three hundred and fifty he was doing.

[Mike Ryan]

Consumer protections are overrated.

[Zaslow]

Six hundred thousand tickets are going to be purchased before I have an opportunity here to snag a pair of nosebleeds.

[Chris]

There's a way to skip that line. It's called the aftermarket. Just reach into your wallet, pull out some big bills. Problem solved.

[Zaslow]

Well, yeah, that's what it's going to come down to.

[Mike Ryan]

So yeah, more money usually solves problems.

[Matt]

So this is coming from the guy that gets lied to about how much tickets cost from his wife.

[Chris]

Well, but she, she always buys good seats.

[Juju]

He also splits cuclips.

[Zaslow]

Dan, what is that? 305, 000 people are in front of me.

[Dan LeBatard]

It's a legendary band playing a venue that everybody would want to watch. A legendary band.

[Mike Ryan]

And most of those things are not human. That's how this works these days.

[Dan LeBatard]

That too.

[Mike Ryan]

Those are all bots.

[Dan LeBatard]

Well, you mentioned the residency in Las Vegas and it ties to a conversation we were having yesterday about Floyd Mayweather going broke and how it is that you could possibly go broke when you're making that much money. It made us think about Bruno Mars and his residency. Where can you guys look up some of the details that are being reported where it seems like Bruno Mars has such a large gambling issue that he performs to giant crowds and makes a lot of money and then immediately loses it because he's gambling so much cuz he's staying in Vegas and he's gambling in a way that's going through the money that he's making in his residency. There have been some allegations of Marcus

[Mike Ryan]

There have, and they've been denied, but they've been denied, conveniently, by the way, one of the establishments that would hold some of that debt and also hold the rights to his live acts that would seemingly pay it off. There's a whole Internet theory, but we should say it's all hearsay allegations and rumors.

[Dan LeBatard]

But if you can find for me whatever would be the most credible of those, because I now do a word association with Bruno Mars, and it's a strange word association for me to do. But the reason that I'm doing it is because if indeed you have a gambling problem, a residency in Las Vegas where you're being paid a ton of money to do something, and then you can just go to the casino and run through it, because you're allowed to call, you know, a pit boss over and say, hey, extend me a. Whatever the line of credit is. I heard Dana White tell one of these drunk gambling stories where the guy, you know, the casino floor is calling him and telling him that he lost 300 or $400,000 more than he thought he lost the night before because he had so much to drink that he doesn't remember.

[Mike Ryan]

And now there is precedent for this. Baz Luhrmann Elvis movie kind of covered this a little bit. Now, it wasn't Elvis's personal gambling debt, but it was the Colonel's. And it was a lot. It was like, I researched it, it would be up to $146 million today. They estimate what the Colonel's gambling debts were, that Elvis was stuck in a bad residency deal, essentially paying off the debt for his manager.

[Dan LeBatard]

I thought of that with. I thought of that sort of in reverse with whatever it is that happened with Ohtani. I don't think we still have the details on that, but that's somebody that's gambling.

[Mike Ryan]

That went away quick.

[Dan LeBatard]

It did go away.

[Mike Ryan]

The world moves at a very fast pace. I'm still trying to get over. Did you even say thank you? The world has left us behind, keeps moving.

[Dan LeBatard]

Ohtani, though it could have been the biggest gambling scandal ever. And instead we're sniffing around Terry Rozier and JohnTay Porter has reappeared somewhere. Is he playing in Seattle in some sort of default? Some sort of strange basketball league? Jontay Porter has made a turn engagement. I should tell all of you, by the way, to check out what it is that Pablo Torre has been doing recently where he continues to be way out in front of everybody on the details on anything related to a number of things. But also that gambling story where he's just got a lot of sources, and I assume that people with the FBI or investigators are checking with Pablo on things because he's got so many sources on this that he continues to reveal more and more information. And I told you, he's going to be at the Sloan conference this week doing something with David Sampson and Amin Elhassan. And I would assume that he's got something special planned for the people of Sloan, because that right there is Pablo in his maximum element that I cannot imagine. He did something with Roy Wood Jr. Here this week live, and he's doing some live stuff. Pablo at Sloan with Sampson and Amin. My guess is that he's going to surprise people with whatever it is that he makes.

[Mike Ryan]

And that's the kind of crowd that Pablo is an absolute rock star for. Were you there when R.C. buford walked the halls? That was a moment in time.

[Dan LeBatard]

I got a text the other day from people in Pablo's world telling me that he had won an award. I'm like, what award is that? I don't know that award. I still don't know that award. But here is Pablo accepting yet another podcasting award.

[Pablo Torre]

When Dan Lebatard asked me if I wanted to start a podcast, and I said, that feels like a thing a person of my age and demographics should do. I said that I wanted to start a newsroom. And that is kind of what the answer to that very kind question and introduction and summary is. I do it with people who really care about journalism, even if sports feels like the cheese you melt on the broccoli of journalism. And so my producer Matt, our whole staff, we do this also at the expense of our personal lives. And so on that note, happy 6th birthday to my daughter Violet, and thank you to the Academy.

[Mike Ryan]

You know, Sean Penn wasn't there to pick up his SAG Award. He could have said, no. This is my.

[Dan LeBatard]

What are the Ambies?

[Matt]

Thank you to the Academy was a line.

[Dan LeBatard]

Do we know what the Ambies are? I don't know what they are. Can you guys give me just some.

[Matt]

They're their Oscars.

[Chris]

Yeah. I can't believe I haven't won one yet for my catchphrase countdown.

[Dan LeBatard]

That's the sueys, Chris. Dummy up.

[Chris]

Dummy up.

[Dan LeBatard]

Number 33.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Dan LeBatard]

In no particular order, but here's a

[Chris]

surprise for you if you listen to my podcast. We had my brother, Uncle Dick, on the phone to talk about whether he had ever heard me say dummy up. And it reminded him of something I used to say when I was like, six or eight years old, which is not on the list, but is now a parenthetical adjunct to dummy up on the official list. So that's a little.

[Dan LeBatard]

A little uninteresting thing that you said.

[Chris]

To end this hour, Nugget, It's a

[Mike Ryan]

season two playoff race with TGL. Presented by SoFi. Sunday at 9pm Eastern, Jupiter Links versus Boston Common Golf Monday at 7pm Eastern, Los Angeles Golf Club versus New York Golf Club. Tuesday at 9pm Easternth, the Bay Golf Club versus Jupiter Lynx. Keep up. It's Golf Watch on ESPN, ESPN2 and the ESPN Applause.