Podcast Summary: The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Episode: Hour 1: Easiest Thing to Keister (feat. Jessica Smithana)
Release Date: July 30, 2025
Introduction and Guest Welcome
Dan LeBatard opens the episode with a warm welcome to their guest, Jessica Smithana from New York City. The hosts—Dan LeBatard, Stugotz, Greg Cote, Ryan Reynolds, Chris Cote, and Izzy Gutierrez—engage in light-hearted banter, setting a casual and humorous tone for the discussion.
Main Discussion: Dildo Incident at Valkyrie Dream Game
The primary focus of the episode revolves around a peculiar incident where a dildo was thrown onto the court during a Valkyrie Dream game in Atlanta. The conversation delves into the logistics and implications of such an act in a professional sporting event.
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Greg Cote speculates on how the dildo was smuggled into the arena, suggesting it might have been concealed in a small bag or even strapped to a person’s clothing:
"Maybe you're trying to get, yeah. What if you do it down your pants?" [02:16]
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Jessica Smithana affirms her appreciation for filet mignon amidst the humorous debate about its perception as a "feminine" cut of meat:
"Here's the thing, though. Let me reiterate. I love filet mignon. I think there's nothing wrong with it." [01:53]
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Izzy Gutierrez adds to the conversation by questioning the security measures, pondering if such items bypassed metal detectors:
"Don't you have to go through, like, detectors when you get into these arenas?" [02:52]
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The hosts creatively brainstorm methods of concealing the dildo, humorously suggesting placements like the thigh or using it as a return item:
"Just put it right there on the thigh and be like, hey, man, what do you want from me?" [02:27]
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Dan LeBatard offers a humorous theory that the dildo might have been openly placed in a clear plastic bag:
"Perhaps it's a bold take. What if they didn't try to hide it at all? Yeah, it's in my clear plastic bag. What's this? It's my dildo." [04:26]
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The team discusses the potential reasons behind the act, debating whether it was a prank, a statement, or an attempt to return the item:
"Maybe they were just trying to return it to a friend and just the person didn't catch it." [07:15]
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Greg Cote critiques the team's handling of the situation, emphasizing the need for accountability:
"They make you go down in front of everyone and pick it up, and then block of shame, you out of the arena." [07:08]
Travel Tips: Visiting Chicago
Transitioning from the main topic, Dan LeBatard seeks advice on visiting Chicago, particularly for an upcoming trip. The hosts provide a mix of earnest suggestions and playful recommendations.
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Greg Cote recommends attending a Cubs game and exploring Wrigleyville, mentioning popular spots like Sportsbook and Sluggers:
"If there’s a Cubs home game for you, Sluggers is the place with the batting cages where you can go." [09:31]
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Izzy Gutierrez suggests visiting landmark attractions such as the Willis Tower and engaging in scenic activities like the Chicago Riverwalk:
"You can walk around the river or like Lake Michigan and then the Chicago Riverwalk." [11:13]
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The hosts humorously discuss local delicacies, notably the infamous Chicago liqueur Malort, sharing personal anecdotes about its challenging taste:
"I have a hard time believing. On the list of things, you know, there's a sign outside the building, cannot bring in alcohol. It definitely doesn't say, can't bring in dildos." [09:03]
"I had Malort, I think three months ago. It's awful." [10:08]
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They also touch upon culinary spots emphasizing goat in Chicago's food scene, highlighting celebrated restaurants by Stephanie's:
"Any restaurant with goat... they're amazing." [14:38]
Entertainment: Upcoming Movie "The Naked Gun"
Stu Gatz enthusiastically introduces the upcoming release of the new "The Naked Gun" movie, expressing excitement about its star-studded cast and comedic direction.
"It's coming in hot with the Naked Gun hitting theaters August 1st. ... It’s directed by Akiva Shaffer... and Produced by Seth MacFarlane." [15:07]
The hosts discuss the film's potential, praising the combination of serious performances and chaotic comedy, anticipating a positive reception from fans.
Sports Analysis: WNBA and Gambling Scandals
The conversation shifts towards the WNBA, exploring the financial vulnerabilities of its athletes compared to their NBA counterparts and discussing potential gambling scandals.
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Dan LeBatard raises concerns about the financial stability of WNBA players and the possibility of gambling-related issues within the league:
"Do you think it's possible that there could be a gambling scandal within the WNBA?" [23:42]
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Greg Cote acknowledges the possibility, drawing parallels with past scandals in other sports:
"There’s been gambling scandals in like college baseball and a ton of sports with, you know, less eyeballs. So, yeah, anything is really possible with this stuff." [24:56]
Coaching Critique: Haircuts and Authority
A significant portion of the episode humorously critiques the appearance of sports coaches, particularly focusing on their hairstyles and how it affects their perceived authority.
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Dan LeBatard expresses distrust towards a coach based on his "man bun," questioning its appropriateness for projecting authority:
"I'll tell you right now, Jessica. I'll tell you why I don't trust that coach. I don't like that coach. Cause he has a man bun. You can't project authority." [29:50]
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The hosts debate the merits of different hairstyles, comparing professional perceptions and personal biases:
"It makes me think that the person is a little too relaxed. That's all I think of when I think of the man bun." [30:00]
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Stu Gatz shares a personal anecdote about his barber mistaking him for a police officer, leading to an amusing exchange about appearances and assumptions:
"He thought you were like a desk cop... not a regular cop." [40:19]
Light-Hearted Banter and Closing Remarks
As the episode nears its end, the hosts engage in playful teasing and continue their humorous discussions on various off-topic subjects, maintaining the show's signature comedic flair.
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Greg Cote promotes his podcast "The Echoes," emphasizing its popularity and encouraging listeners to subscribe:
"They have the Echoes. We're on all the places you get your podcast and we're on YouTube." [42:54]
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The hosts wrap up with final jokes and casual conversations, leaving listeners entertained and anticipating future episodes.
Notable Quotes with Timestamps
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Greg Cote on smuggling items into arenas:
"Maybe you're trying to get, yeah. What if you do it down your pants?" [02:16]
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Jessica Smithana on filet mignon:
"I love filet mignon. I think there's nothing wrong with it." [01:53]
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Dan LeBatard on coaching authority and hairstyles:
"I'll tell you why I don't trust that coach. I don't like that coach. Cause he has a man bun." [29:50]
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Stu Gatz on personal experiences with barbers:
"He thought you were like a desk cop... not a regular cop." [40:19]
Conclusion
In this episode of The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz, the hosts navigate a mix of humorous anecdotes, sports controversies, travel tips, and entertainment news. Their dynamic interplay with guest Jessica Smithana offers listeners an engaging blend of light-hearted banter and insightful commentary on current events in sports and pop culture.
