Podcast Summary: The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Episode: Hour 1: Easiest Thing to Keister (feat. Jessica Smithana)
Release Date: July 30, 2025

Introduction and Guest Welcome

Dan LeBatard opens the episode with a warm welcome to their guest, Jessica Smithana from New York City. The hosts—Dan LeBatard, Stugotz, Greg Cote, Ryan Reynolds, Chris Cote, and Izzy Gutierrez—engage in light-hearted banter, setting a casual and humorous tone for the discussion.

Main Discussion: Dildo Incident at Valkyrie Dream Game

The primary focus of the episode revolves around a peculiar incident where a dildo was thrown onto the court during a Valkyrie Dream game in Atlanta. The conversation delves into the logistics and implications of such an act in a professional sporting event.

• Greg Cote speculates on how the dildo was smuggled into the arena, suggesting it might have been concealed in a small bag or even strapped to a person’s clothing:

  "Maybe you're trying to get, yeah. What if you do it down your pants?" [02:16]

• Jessica Smithana affirms her appreciation for filet mignon amidst the humorous debate about its perception as a "feminine" cut of meat:

  "Here's the thing, though. Let me reiterate. I love filet mignon. I think there's nothing wrong with it." [01:53]

• Izzy Gutierrez adds to the conversation by questioning the security measures, pondering if such items bypassed metal detectors:

  "Don't you have to go through, like, detectors when you get into these arenas?" [02:52]

• The hosts creatively brainstorm methods of concealing the dildo, humorously suggesting placements like the thigh or using it as a return item:

  "Just put it right there on the thigh and be like, hey, man, what do you want from me?" [02:27]

• Dan LeBatard offers a humorous theory that the dildo might have been openly placed in a clear plastic bag:

  "Perhaps it's a bold take. What if they didn't try to hide it at all? Yeah, it's in my clear plastic bag. What's this? It's my dildo." [04:26]

• The team discusses the potential reasons behind the act, debating whether it was a prank, a statement, or an attempt to return the item:

  "Maybe they were just trying to return it to a friend and just the person didn't catch it." [07:15]

• Greg Cote critiques the team's handling of the situation, emphasizing the need for accountability:

  "They make you go down in front of everyone and pick it up, and then block of shame, you out of the arena." [07:08]

Travel Tips: Visiting Chicago

Transitioning from the main topic, Dan LeBatard seeks advice on visiting Chicago, particularly for an upcoming trip. The hosts provide a mix of earnest suggestions and playful recommendations.

• Greg Cote recommends attending a Cubs game and exploring Wrigleyville, mentioning popular spots like Sportsbook and Sluggers:

  "If there’s a Cubs home game for you, Sluggers is the place with the batting cages where you can go." [09:31]

• Izzy Gutierrez suggests visiting landmark attractions such as the Willis Tower and engaging in scenic activities like the Chicago Riverwalk:

  "You can walk around the river or like Lake Michigan and then the Chicago Riverwalk." [11:13]

• The hosts humorously discuss local delicacies, notably the infamous Chicago liqueur Malort, sharing personal anecdotes about its challenging taste:

  "I have a hard time believing. On the list of things, you know, there's a sign outside the building, cannot bring in alcohol. It definitely doesn't say, can't bring in dildos." [09:03]

  "I had Malort, I think three months ago. It's awful." [10:08]

• They also touch upon culinary spots emphasizing goat in Chicago's food scene, highlighting celebrated restaurants by Stephanie's:

  "Any restaurant with goat... they're amazing." [14:38]

Entertainment: Upcoming Movie "The Naked Gun"

Stu Gatz enthusiastically introduces the upcoming release of the new "The Naked Gun" movie, expressing excitement about its star-studded cast and comedic direction.

"It's coming in hot with the Naked Gun hitting theaters August 1st. ... It’s directed by Akiva Shaffer... and Produced by Seth MacFarlane." [15:07]

The hosts discuss the film's potential, praising the combination of serious performances and chaotic comedy, anticipating a positive reception from fans.

Sports Analysis: WNBA and Gambling Scandals

The conversation shifts towards the WNBA, exploring the financial vulnerabilities of its athletes compared to their NBA counterparts and discussing potential gambling scandals.

• Dan LeBatard raises concerns about the financial stability of WNBA players and the possibility of gambling-related issues within the league:

  "Do you think it's possible that there could be a gambling scandal within the WNBA?" [23:42]

• Greg Cote acknowledges the possibility, drawing parallels with past scandals in other sports:

  "There’s been gambling scandals in like college baseball and a ton of sports with, you know, less eyeballs. So, yeah, anything is really possible with this stuff." [24:56]

Coaching Critique: Haircuts and Authority

A significant portion of the episode humorously critiques the appearance of sports coaches, particularly focusing on their hairstyles and how it affects their perceived authority.

• Dan LeBatard expresses distrust towards a coach based on his "man bun," questioning its appropriateness for projecting authority:

  "I'll tell you right now, Jessica. I'll tell you why I don't trust that coach. I don't like that coach. Cause he has a man bun. You can't project authority." [29:50]

• The hosts debate the merits of different hairstyles, comparing professional perceptions and personal biases:

  "It makes me think that the person is a little too relaxed. That's all I think of when I think of the man bun." [30:00]

• Stu Gatz shares a personal anecdote about his barber mistaking him for a police officer, leading to an amusing exchange about appearances and assumptions:

  "He thought you were like a desk cop... not a regular cop." [40:19]

Light-Hearted Banter and Closing Remarks

As the episode nears its end, the hosts engage in playful teasing and continue their humorous discussions on various off-topic subjects, maintaining the show's signature comedic flair.

• Greg Cote promotes his podcast "The Echoes," emphasizing its popularity and encouraging listeners to subscribe:

  "They have the Echoes. We're on all the places you get your podcast and we're on YouTube." [42:54]

• The hosts wrap up with final jokes and casual conversations, leaving listeners entertained and anticipating future episodes.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Greg Cote on smuggling items into arenas:

  "Maybe you're trying to get, yeah. What if you do it down your pants?" [02:16]

• Jessica Smithana on filet mignon:

  "I love filet mignon. I think there's nothing wrong with it." [01:53]

• Dan LeBatard on coaching authority and hairstyles:

  "I'll tell you why I don't trust that coach. I don't like that coach. Cause he has a man bun." [29:50]

• Stu Gatz on personal experiences with barbers:

  "He thought you were like a desk cop... not a regular cop." [40:19]

Conclusion

In this episode of The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz, the hosts navigate a mix of humorous anecdotes, sports controversies, travel tips, and entertainment news. Their dynamic interplay with guest Jessica Smithana offers listeners an engaging blend of light-hearted banter and insightful commentary on current events in sports and pop culture.