Hour 1: Football AMERICA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (feat. Dave Dameshek)

Summary

Summary of "The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz" – Hour 1: Football AMERICA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (feat. Dave Dameshek) Release Date: July 24, 2025

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Introduction to the Episode

In the inaugural episode of "Football America," hosted by Dan Le Batard and Stugotz from the Elser Hotel in Downtown Miami, the team delves deep into the world of football, blending humor, insightful commentary, and engaging discussions. The episode features a special guest, Dave Dameshek, who brings his expertise and unique perspective to the conversation.

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Guest Appearance: Dave Dameshek

Dave Dameshek joins the show, bringing a fresh dynamic to the discussion. The hosts engage in playful banter, highlighting the camaraderie and mutual respect between them. Early in the episode, Stugotz humorously remarks, "We just lost Dave, but he will be back shortly" ([03:30]), showcasing the lighthearted nature of the show.

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Announcing the New Football Show: "Football America"

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to unveiling the new football-focused segment titled "Football America." The hosts express their excitement and surprise that the name was available, with Stugotz exclaiming, "The name of the football show will announce it is Football America, which I honestly could not believe was not taken" ([02:51]). Despite initial skepticism, the team embraces the name, emphasizing its representation of football enthusiasts nationwide.

Dan Le Batard adds, "Football America and Le Batard, if I'm not mistaken, you suggested the exclamation point, and that's really what sells it" ([15:09]). The team collectively chants "Football America" in various accents ([16:16]-[16:37]), symbolizing unity and enthusiasm for the upcoming season.

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Discussion on NFL Uniform Designs and Logos

A substantial segment of the episode focuses on the aesthetics of NFL uniforms and logos, dissecting recent changes and their implications.

Miami Dolphins Logo Change

Dan expresses concern over the Miami Dolphins' recent logo alteration, stating, "We don't even care if he's on our team" ([20:06]). Stugotz points out, "The dolphin swimming in the water, but the sun is still behind it. Before, you had a leaping dolphin, and you can understand how the sun is in the picture. But what are you shooting this dolphin from beneath?" ([20:23]). The discussion highlights the inconsistency and confusion arising from the new design, questioning the message it sends about player safety.

Raiders Logo Analysis

The Raiders' logo undergoes scrutiny as Dan observes, "Take a closer look. His good eye is closed. Really? It's subversive. He's got his eye closed. Why?" ([22:00]). This analysis delves into the symbolic elements of the logo, questioning the rationale behind specific design choices.

Steelers, Packers, and Browns Uniforms

The hosts critique the Steelers' throwback uniforms, particularly their clash with the Packers' colors. Dan remarks, "It's a terrible get up to begin with" ([23:00]), emphasizing the visual discordance during matchups. In contrast, he praises the Browns for their recent move to brown helmets, stating, "This is a team named Brown and their hats are orange. It's very confusing" ([24:07]).

New Orleans Saints and LA Chargers Alternates

Stugotz lauds the New Orleans Saints' alternate look that honors their heritage, while expressing mixed feelings about the LA Chargers' navy alternate jerseys, questioning, "Who decided that that was something that we pined to see?" ([32:20]).

Washington Commanders and Capitals

Dan provides historical context to the Washington Commanders' name change, linking it to cultural sensitivity. He contrasts this with the Washington Capitals' previous, less favored uniform colors, urging, "What are you shooting this dolphin from beneath?" ([20:23]).

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Historical Football Moments

The hosts reminisce about iconic football moments, particularly focusing on Super Bowl highlights.

Dan shares trivia about the Dolphins' Super Bowl performance, noting, "Fulton Walker, number 41. He's the first guy ever to return a kickoff in a Super Bowl for a touchdown" ([30:03]). They also discuss the infamous performance of quarterbacks like David Woodley, deeming him "the worst quarterback to ever start a Super Bowl" ([31:15]).

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Betting Strategies in Football

Mike Ryan introduces the topic of football betting, specifically criticizing strategies that focus on single-game outcomes. He quips, "Why am I an idiot for betting the over on Mo Ali Cox?" ([27:14]), leading to an in-depth discussion on the nuances of football betting and its risks.

Dan contributes by highlighting the unpredictability of football outcomes, saying, "Football America is about inclusion and our sport of football. It is our national pastime" ([32:45]).

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Weightlifting and Body Image Commentary

Towards the episode's end, the conversation shifts to body image in sports. The hosts humorously discuss the stereotype of the "soda drinker's body," juxtaposing it with athletic prowess.

Mike Ryan jokes, "You got a soda drinker's body like that," ([38:30]) prompting a series of light-hearted exchanges about athletes' physique and strength. This segment underscores the show's blend of humor with cultural commentary.

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Conclusion and Wrap-Up

As the episode wraps up, the hosts reflect on the discussions and tease upcoming topics. They reiterate their commitment to providing both entertainment and valuable insights for football enthusiasts. Dan concludes with optimism for the football season ahead, encapsulating the episode's energetic and engaging spirit.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Stugotz on Zyn Products:

  • "Not just smoke free nicotine satisfaction, but real freedom." ([00:02])

• Mike Ryan on Mutual Fawning:

  • "You guys are still in the glow. You guys are post coital." ([00:42])

• Stugotz on "Football America" Naming:

  • "Football America. Yeah. That's ours. We got all of Football America." ([03:21])

• Dan Le Batard on Dolphins Logo:

  • "We don't even care if he's on our team." ([20:06])

• Dan on Betting Strategy:

  • "Football America is about inclusion and our sport of football. It is our national pastime." ([32:45])

• Stugotz on Uniform Critique:

  • "He's out there on the gridiron. It's live out there, as the players will tell you. Like it’s dangerous stuff." ([22:20])

• Mike Ryan on Weightlifting Videos:

  • "What these people are doing cannot be acted." ([37:30])

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Final Thoughts

The first episode of "Football America" successfully establishes a foundation for the show's future, blending humor, critical analysis, and passionate discussion. With its focus on NFL aesthetics, historical insights, and engaging guest appearances, the show promises to be a go-to destination for football aficionados seeking both entertainment and information.

Transcript

[Dan Le Batard]

What does Zyn give you?

[Stugotz]

Not just smoke free nicotine satisfaction, but real freedom.

[Mike Ryan]

Freedom to do what you love and choose your rewards.

[Stugotz]

With Zinn Rewards, you can redeem points.

[Dan Le Batard]

For premium tech outdoor gear and gift.

[Stugotz]

Cards to your favorite retailers. Find your Zen and keep finding rewards.

[Dave Dameshek]

That fit your [e-mail] rewards.

[Stugotz]

Warning. This product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical.

[Mike Ryan]

This is the Dan Levator show with the Stugats podcast.

[Dave Dameshek]

This episode is presented by DraftKings. DraftKings. The Crown is yours.

[Mike Ryan]

I have not seen our show swoon and fall in love with somebody like that in a minute. It's been a second before since a guest came on here and there was such a mutual fawning all over each other. You guys are still in the glow. You guys are post coital. I'm looking at you guys and you guys fell in love all over again as if it was the first time.

[Stugotz]

You're talking about Dave Damasch in the Zoom right now.

[Mike Ryan]

The make fall. I am not talking about Dave Danishek in the Zoom who no one can see but you right now. No, that's not what I was talking.

[Stugotz]

I'm swooning.

[Mike Ryan]

I was talk. I was talking about Boban schmaltzy in here.

[Tony]

Gotta be honest.

[Mike Ryan]

Car keynote. I was talking about Boban and how he made us. I never thought of how hard it must be for him to drive a car. I am basketball player. It has to be very hard. Like what kind of car, what car is he driving that someone is going to be able to sit behind him in that car if he presses?

[Stugotz]

I mean you didn't know that he could watch movies where he was from too. So that was. There was that.

[Mike Ryan]

That's not true, actually. I got caught up in the air and I got distracted.

[Stugotz]

Have you seen the first one? Have you seen Happy Gilmore?

[Mike Ryan]

I'm going on vacation because I am not getting my. I am so bad the last couple of days and I just needed a transition and so I said have you seen what Jaws 007 looks like? Because I didn't know the name of the character.

[Stugotz]

I'm from Serbia.

[Dan Le Batard]

Matmoon.

[Mike Ryan]

Yes.

[Tony]

Had you ever heard of Adam Sandler?

[Mike Ryan]

So Dave d'? Mashek, the aforementioned Dave Damask. I will ask you in a couple of weeks and now really to support our new football show with Dave. And every time we ask you to support something, you support it. I saw that echoes climbed right up the charts as soon as Jessica comes on here. And the 30 for 30 that we did with Adam McKay, chasing basketball heaven, that released yesterday, shot right up because you guys remain the most loyal and supportive audience that there is. Is just a giant you make you change everything. And so Danishek is our new football show and that will be debuting next month. And. And so that show's name. Are we willing. Are we willing to unveil the show name? Is that something that we could put out there now before we've actually released it? We will ask you at the appropriate time to announce our new football show.

[Stugotz]

The name of the football show will announce it is Football America, which I honestly could not believe was not taken.

[Dan Le Batard]

Really?

[Stugotz]

Yeah, it was still. It was available.

[Mike Ryan]

What?

[Stugotz]

Yeah. Football America. Yeah.

[Mike Ryan]

That can't be true. Football America. Are you saying it with an accent?

[Stugotz]

America? No. Maybe Football America was probably taken, but Football America is there for the taken. So. Yeah, that's.

[Mike Ryan]

That's shocking.

[Stugotz]

Yeah. Right? Great.

[Mike Ryan]

Name no one. No one. We got Football America. That's ours. We got all of Football America.

[Stugotz]

I'm sure the. There are Internet sleuths that will find out that there's another one.

[Mike Ryan]

Right.

[Stugotz]

But I was. I was in complete and utter shock that, you know, is just there for the taken. Football America.

[Dave Dameshek]

We just lost Dave, but he will be back shortly.

[Mike Ryan]

No, that's fine. And going swooning. Going back to what it. Well, he was probably scared off by all of our behavior there. But going back to what we were talking about, how do you imagine. I wish we had more time to ask him this. When Boban tries to use a hotel shower, like, how is that going in a normal. Like the hotel showers? Do they. How is the water not going up? Or does he have to unscrew something?

[Tony]

It's the one where you could take off the hose.

[Dave Dameshek]

Needs one of those.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah. Or it has to be. What is it? What is the one called that that they put on the ceiling? Yeah.

[Stugotz]

Rainfall overhead.

[Mike Ryan]

I don't know how to. I don't know. I remember there's a commercial for general insurance that shacks in where he's looking over the shower curtain and you can see that the shower head is like at his nipple. Like it's. He's standing over a nor in a normal human shower. These people are too big in order to shower. Norma.

[Stugotz]

I'm sure texting becomes a laborious affair because her finger. I mean, Boban's hands. Can you imagine him trying to text? I can't. It is horrible.

[Dave Dameshek]

I once saw Taco fall. Have to try to get into an elevator. And in order to do so on UCF's campus. He had to sit down and slide himself into the elevator and just basically huddle his knees together until he could then have the elevator door open, spread out his legs, and then stand up.

[Mike Ryan]

Not only is it sad, Chris, I was getting ready to ask him an assortment of questions about, like, whatever kind of pain his body is in, but I'm like, I'm not going to ruin how nice this feels because playing basketball at that size, I can't imagine daily. You know, Andre the Giant was in a great deal of pain, and so he became an alcoholic. And then he's in a French hotel drinking so much that when he passes out in the lobby, they have to throw a sheet over him and he becomes a sofa because. And people used him as a sofa.

[Tony]

He used to poop in the bathtub.

[Mike Ryan]

True story.

[Stugotz]

Because he's big.

[Dan Le Batard]

The Giant.

[Tony]

Andre.

[Stugotz]

That's how he got his name, the make fall.

[Mike Ryan]

He used to poop in the bathtub. Yeah, I know it's true.

[Stugotz]

Have you ever tried to poop in a European toilet? Even for us six foot and over, it's, you know, tight.

[Mike Ryan]

I know that it's true. The documentary, I think Bill Simmons did it on, Andre the Giant was very good, but I would have ruined that interview if I'd asked him about pain.

[Stugotz]

Yeah, I'm glad. Bo Band. His joy was so infectious and we were so happy to see him that a rarity happened. We got him away from grief eating.

[Dave Dameshek]

Maybe the first time in show history that a guest has been so wonderful. I mean, look, you guys have been here longer than me, but I don't remember as a listener or a member of this show that someone has been so kind and gracious that Dan shied away from grief eating.

[Stugotz]

I can't believe you didn't ask him what on you hurts.

[Mike Ryan]

It wouldn't have been grief. It would have been pain eating. Right. It wouldn't have been grief.

[Dan Le Batard]

And you got there. You got there.

[Mike Ryan]

Well, okay, but I could have gotten there a clever way I'm going to. You guys remind me when to unveil this question. Okay? At the end of an interview that's otherwise going in all other directions, you guys tell me. I want you to write this down and somebody at some point remind me when will be the funniest time to ask the question to end an interview that we are doing with just out of nowhere, do you poop in the bathtub? Or have you ever pooped in the bathtub? Or whatever it is that would reveal the story of what happens when you're kind of in this kind of pain that you can't walk through a normal life like every other normal human being. And so you have to poop in a bathtub. Because the toilet. Because every toilet is too small for your ass. Which I can't believe that that's not a joke that somebody has made at my expense at some point over the last 56 years. Dan, there is toilet big enough for your ass.

[Stugotz]

What do you think the laboratories are? I know these team planes are a lot different. You mean lavatories? Yeah. I'm sorry.

[Mike Ryan]

This is unbelievable. What's happening. The last laboratories where Dexter used to be.

[Stugotz]

Sorry, sorry, sorry. Laboratories. Yeah. Are they much larger for NBA teams? They gotta be, right?

[Dan Le Batard]

But for me.

[Stugotz]

But there's only. You can only make it so big. I know that they try to make the aisles a lot easier for NBA players, but can you imagine Boban trying to use the restroom on, like, a commercial airline?

[Dave Dameshek]

I'm completely average size, like, height, and I struggle in those things.

[Stugotz]

He flatly can't even get in.

[Mike Ryan]

Who were they making those for when they made them that small? Like, were people in when we.

[Dave Dameshek]

Oh, it's barbaric capitalists.

[Mike Ryan]

When the Wright brothers. Okay, maybe. But when the Wright brothers started and wherever it is we got to the first bathroom in an airplane, were they trying to save space or were they building them for human beings who were much smaller than the fat ones and the giant ones we have today?

[Stugotz]

I don't know if the Wright brothers, when they first invented flight, were like, and one day people are gonna shit in these.

[Dave Dameshek]

Maybe people were just smaller.

[Stugotz]

People were fishing, People were smaller. But that doesn't explain how the newer models keep replicating the small. The only thing that can explain it is capitalism.

[Tony]

Have you ever been in one of the showers on a cruise?

[Mike Ryan]

Tight. You guys didn't really answer my question. But I do think there's a good skit around the Wright brothers talking in that old timey way you just did.

[Stugotz]

One day people are going to shit in this.

[Mike Ryan]

That's right. Talking in the old timey way of like, we'll develop flight and then we'll get to the point where we capitalize and do that so much commercially that you no longer fit in them in any way. We're going to take. We're going to give you a bag of pretzels and we're going to tell you to shit in a bucket in the back because we need all of those seats in order to get the 69 extra dollars that we need. For luggage and your Internet and we'll.

[Stugotz]

Make the fat ones buy two.

[Mike Ryan]

There's a skit there. Figure out how to do the Wright Brothers talking about flight in the future. Because at once I still say this as a shocking fact and a fact and I get no reaction from anybody every time I say it. Do you know that they used to serve prime rib in first class where they'd have it and it's not coming back from a microwave. They've got somebody there with a prime rib like you would in a fine restaurant.

[Stugotz]

People are smoking, smoking. Smoking on an airplane is crazy.

[Mike Ryan]

People are smoking, smoking and you're in first class and the experience is so classy that there's someone up there shaving meat so you can eat it in the front and they can have a classy experience.

[Tony]

It's just amazing that there was a smoking section and a non smoking section on a steel tube. As if you know the smoke is going to stay away from the non smoking section. You don't have to worry. You're in the non smokers.

[Stugotz]

It was one of the things I miss as much from my childhood, Dan. From the early 90s and 2000s I missed having going into a restaurant. You don't miss this and being in a smoking section? I miss.

[Dave Dameshek]

Don't miss that.

[Stugotz]

Of course I do. You weren't here for it, Dan.

[Dave Dameshek]

Very, very smoking or non smoking? Like just that question.

[Stugotz]

It was a great list. I mean, it's how Mrs. Doubtfire almost got away with it.

[Dave Dameshek]

Would you like go into smoking if you didn't want to wait? If there was a long wait for non smoking, would you like. I'll take smoke.

[Tony]

I don't think. I don't think we ever sat in smoking as a family, ever.

[Dave Dameshek]

I hate waiting for a table though.

[Stugotz]

Like it's got a. He's got a couple of cigarettes. That's that bad. It's going to be commonplace a world over and then we'll get the dude from the real world to oversee everything.

[Mike Ryan]

So you guys say that my grief eating soils all. And I am about to take a break here for a couple of minutes because I have. I have been the last couple of days lost while it is that we're doing the show. And as happens often, this is a criticism I've been getting here now for many years. I will end up ruining the fun around here in some way. So yesterday you guys, and I'm getting a little better of a governor on this, but I want to ask you guys a question because I thought there was A story that you guys might find interesting around the fun we were having about eating at a bar and eating right at the bar instead of having dinner at a table. And I wanted to get in some point with a story that is a lit is a little bit heartbreaking to me about what actually happened to change my entire viewpoint on what that is. But the story bums me out and I thought I was going to ruin what we were doing here. And so I didn't tell the story. But I think it's a story you guys would want to hear. So just put it as we go out here to Danishek, I want you to guys put it in the file and remind me to tell the story at some point, whatever the subject is. Dan didn't want to ruin the show.

[Stugotz]

But here's this story in the show story. Okay.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah, but here's this story he wanted to tell that he thought might be interesting, but he didn't want to ruin the fun everybody was having. And then they get mad at him for being the grief eater.

[Stugotz]

And then we're going to have little cabins for everybody's suitcases. But then we're never going to expect everybody to bring a suitcase. The summer is heating up with Marvel Studios. The Fantastic Four.

[Mike Ryan]

Him up, Johnny.

[Stugotz]

This Friday.

[Tony]

Time to save the planet.

[Mike Ryan]

What's the plan?

[Stugotz]

Trust me, I hate that. Bad plan.

[Mike Ryan]

Come on. Terrible. That's a stupid plan.

[Stugotz]

Prepare for fantastic.

[Mike Ryan]

We will face this together as a family.

[Stugotz]

Marvel Studios The Fantastic Four first steps only theaters Friday. Rig PG13 some material may be inappropriate for children under 13. Get tickets now. Right now at the Home Depot, you'll find storage solutions made to fit your needs. Grab an HD to protect your tools. Or keep your sports equipment contained with reinforced snap fit lids. Or stack up and make better use of your space with bins and totes. Built to last. Whatever your story, we've got the gear to keep it organized and protected at the Home Depot. How doers get more done done. Lebatard.

[Mike Ryan]

While there's nothing official and conversations are still ongoing. Was that a fake shifter?

[Tony]

Because it was pretty good.

[Dan Le Batard]

I feel like there's legs.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah. Tried at the beginning and then I lost confidence in it.

[Dan Le Batard]

Good.

[Stugotz]

It was good.

[Dave Dameshek]

You got this.

[Mike Ryan]

Nothing official.

[Stugotz]

Yeah.

[Mike Ryan]

So conversations are still ongoing. Stugats. It is trending towards Nick Sirianni remaining the head coach of the Eagles.

[Stugotz]

This is the Dan Levitar show with the stugats.

[Mike Ryan]

You welcome. You fit right in. Your equipment doesn't work for 20 minutes and you hold up the whole show by way of introduction. And we have to wait around for you. You'll be great at Meadowlark. We can't wait to have you on board here. Football America. We got your name. Nobody has. I hope your equipment works the next time you debut so I can celebrate you with the public in a way that feels good to everybody. But welcome aboard. We're happy to have. Were you also surprised that the name Football America was available?

[Dan Le Batard]

I was. And first of all, I think this fits perfectly with my agenda here, which is to keep the bar real nice and low. I think that to set the expectations as low as possible.

[Mike Ryan]

Congratulations.

[Dan Le Batard]

I just did with my audio.

[Mike Ryan]

Big success so far.

[Dan Le Batard]

I've achieved that. Let's move forward. Let's not live life in the rearview mirror, shall we?

[Stugotz]

Very well done. Dan would have stayed there. Keep it moving. Wow. He's a pro.

[Mike Ryan]

No, but I asked him a question he didn't answer, which will also make him fit right in. Were you as surprised as we were that that name is still available?

[Dan Le Batard]

Well, I think that Le Batard swooped in at the 11th hour and really saved it. Football America and Le Batard, if I'm not mistaken, you suggested the exclamation point, and that's really what sells it. I think that's what really takes 11.

[Stugotz]

Football America.

[Dan Le Batard]

Right, Right. That's what I am. I'm swooning. Just as I am swooning to be here with you now. I am swooning also for the approaching football season. I think all Football Americans are right.

[Mike Ryan]

Well, he's a television writer and podcaster who wrote for Jimmy Kimmel, But I think we're onto something there. I think we need to say the name of the podcast every time in a way that moves around the fact that somebody else might have had this name. So say it differently. Football America.

[Stugotz]

Football America. And I don't know if you've already caught on. He knows what he's going to call his listening audience. Football Americans. That's tremendous. It's like Hulkamaniacs.

[Dan Le Batard]

It is the unifying force of our society right now. For better or worse, it's the one thing that we can all rally around and agree on. Football Sundays. Right.

[Mike Ryan]

Can I go around the room here, then, please, and have you each say it differently and see if Damoshek prefers any of the different ways that you guys pronounce it? Because I want to learn how it is that I will say the name of Metal Arcs new football show.

[Stugotz]

Now that we are a chorus of just Football Americas. All right, let's do this real quick.

[Dan Le Batard]

Regional accents and such, right?

[Stugotz]

Yeah, yeah. We all have the same accent down here.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah, but I also. But I also want the exclamation point in there. So, Tony, do you want to go first or. Who wants to go first?

[Stugotz]

Football America.

[Mike Ryan]

See, I like that one.

[Stugotz]

Yeah. Football America.

[Mike Ryan]

Football America.

[Dave Dameshek]

Football America.

[Stugotz]

I go the way you want it.

[Dave Dameshek]

Football is great, right?

[Tony]

America.

[Dan Le Batard]

All right. I mean, that was a good, you know, no bad attempts there. I guess. We're gonna break some. Some eggs as we attempt to make this omelet there. I wonder if anybody can. There can do the Pittsburgh version of it, though. Football America doesn't really lend itself to the Yinzer accent. Football America. Yin stayed. Yin's here about Justin Fields. Dude got hurt up in Jersey already. Dude. We got Aaron Rodgers day, so we ain't worried about that no more.

[Mike Ryan]

I'm sorry, were you patronizing us? You didn't like any of our efforts?

[Dave Dameshek]

Yeah, sure.

[Mike Ryan]

We can't do Pittsburgh. I'm so. I'm sorry that you can't translate what Tony said. Football America.

[Dan Le Batard]

I love the America more than I loved whoever it was. Was that Mike who just did the mid century guy?

[Stugotz]

Yeah.

[Dan Le Batard]

Fellas, look at Buster. It says Football America. The bee's knees, the cat's pajamas and so on you.

[Mike Ryan]

So here. What? This is what we need. We need Dan Michek and Mike Ryan to do the Wright brothers. You don't have to do.

[Stugotz]

Please, you don't have to now.

[Mike Ryan]

You don't have to load. No, stop.

[Stugotz]

Terrible idea.

[Mike Ryan]

You don't have to do it.

[Stugotz]

We'll do it when you're on vacation. Just trust us.

[Dan Le Batard]

Okay, Wings and let's get up in the sky asap.

[Mike Ryan]

Fella, you don't think he'll be good at this?

[Stugotz]

Please stop.

[Mike Ryan]

Go ahead.

[Stugotz]

I'm asking.

[Mike Ryan]

All right. You have a better idea? Do you? Yes, I do. I do have a better one.

[Stugotz]

Yeah. Well, interview him. That would be one of my ideas. Number two would be going through some of the new looks in the NFL because if you followed Dave, and Dave is a talent, he used to have a great show on NFL Network. He did a segment in which I wouldn't touch that with a ten foot pole. Would be the segment, but then he would get out a literal 10 foot pole and make guests touch him. Just a classic idea. But he and I are one in the same in that we're both obsessed with football. Fits really. Uniforms throughout all sports. But I would throw to you in the audience all the football Americans out there that the NFL is in desperate need of a uniform czar. And it should be Dave, because he is an expert. And one of the things that really grinds my gears, Dan, is when uniform looks go out there and you have a bad color clash. Like you got Steelers, packers, and it's just a nightmare because they're both wearing gold. It's just an assault on your eyes. A good color clash makes for the viewing experience. Dave, briefly tell all the football Americans out there about your passion for this.

[Dan Le Batard]

Well, it's where we fell in love, Mike, maybe a half decade or more ago. Was that unified you and me is, you know, so to your eye, think about the Dolphins versus Washington in those two Super Bowls and seven and then 17. It doesn't make any sense. Maroon and gold v aqua and orange. It shouldn't make sense to your eyes, but you love it. It's a great look. I think that's the best one. My ongoing concern as I'm talking with some Miami people is, and I've been bellyaching about this since the day that they did a new mascot or a new look, A new logo for the Dolphins is in the age where we're wringing our hands, we' worried about head injuries and otherwise, we took the helmet off the dolphin. It makes no sense. Why. Why does that guy out there playing football without a helmet on? I don't know what message we're trying to send. And what's further, you know, I. I'm pretty loose on the subject with it, too, because that dolphin, the old Miami Dolphins logo, he had the. The white helmet on with the orange M on the side of it. So by definition, he's not on the Miami Dolphins. He's on some team that wears an orange M on the side of the house. What team was that dolphin on? That's how loose they were with bringing in. That's how they were so anxious to bring sea creatures into the experience. They're like, what?

[Mike Ryan]

Did we miss it?

[Dan Le Batard]

We don't even care if he's on our team.

[Stugotz]

Damn. We didn't all miss it. There were football Americans out there that seized on it. And now their new logo doesn't make any sense at all because it's a dolphin swimming in the water, but the sun is still behind it. Before, you had a leaping dolphin, and you can understand how the sun is in the picture. But what are you shooting this dolphin from beneath? How is the sun in the frame? It makes no sense.

[Mike Ryan]

I've never.

[Dan Le Batard]

So worried about the player safety. Are you. You doesn't look like it.

[Mike Ryan]

He's not wrong about this.

[Stugotz]

I'm telling you. He should be.

[Tony]

Uniforms opposite.

[Dave Dameshek]

He's very right.

[Mike Ryan]

How did, how did I not notice this? It's the local team. How did all the local journalists get beat on this giant story that they, The Dolphins have hypocrisy on. On their helmet by. By not having a dolphin with a helmet anymore. That the dolphin, the dolphin actually should now have one of those giant Lego helmets that they've got. Right?

[Stugotz]

That.

[Dan Le Batard]

Well, listen, Pablo Tory, I'm not here to diminish him. He's doing great work. But you know, if he ever takes a day or a week off, Damoshek's here with the investigative reporting as well. Here's another one. Logo specific. The other one that fascinates me with the. Alongside the Dolphins, their 70s rival, the Raiders. Take a good look at the Raiders logo. First of all. In fact, much like you remember the 70s Pittsburgh Pirates logo. Same thing. A raider is a pirate. Their derivations are the same. And what fascinates me about both those cats is that they're pirates. But before they go out for a day of pillaging, they both give themselves a clean shave. I like that. I think that's a bold move. They're clean shaved guys. But look close at the Raiders logo there. He's got the eye patch. Everybody knows that. Take a closer look. His good eye is closed. Really? It's subversive. He's got his eye closed. Why.

[Mike Ryan]

How have I not noticed that you're.

[Stugotz]

Not a uniform loving, football American player? Why doesn't he have a mustache?

[Dan Le Batard]

Why doesn't he at least have a mustache? But I mean, more, more disconcerting is he's. He's out there on the gridiron. It's live out there, as the players will tell you. Like it's, it's dangerous stuff. He should have his one good eye open.

[Stugotz]

Well, let's run through some of the new looks. Well, some of these are throwback types of looks. You're a Steelers guy. The Steelers unveiled this look. Harken back to the old days at the 75th anniversary of the NFL. They, they dabbled in this look before. But here's my biggest issue with this look here, Dave. They decided that they're going to trot this lookout against the Packers. The packers are going to be. There's going to be so much yellow on the field.

[Mike Ryan]

That can't, that can't be right. That'll be confusing, will it not?

[Dan Le Batard]

It's not going to be good. And, And Mike, you're 100% right. See, this is the attention to detail that few have. You and me, that's where why we connect on this. What are they thinking? That who you're playing when you're going to wear the throwback is an essential ingredient to making it work. This is a terrible idea to unveil those against the Gold hatted Packers. As you say, it's, it's a terrible get up to begin with. You know, it's, I mean, D minus among all the. The Steelers throwbacks collect. They're kind of like the Star wars franchise. You only really need to see the top two of them after that. They're all, they're all garbage. And this one belongs in the garbage. But it's going to be even worse out there against the packers, who themselves have now painted their modern hats to look like 1920s leather hats. I'm on the fence about whether or not I think that's good. I dare say I am not keen on it. The one I did like, ironically, because the Browns are usually pretty laughable, but they now finally have done the right thing. This is a team named Brown and their hats are orange. It's very confusing. Now they have brown hats though, at least as a throwback or as an alternate get up to wear out there at some point in 2025.

[Stugotz]

Dave.

[Tony]

Dave. Why is Pittsburgh the only city where all of its sports teams share the same colors? I like how they do that.

[Dan Le Batard]

I think it's, it's the best, you know, so if you're a fashionista, it's limiting because if you're like from Boston one day you might want to go navy and red, and the next you might want to go Kelly green and white, depending on what event you're heading out to. But yes, I think it's the coolest thing in all of sports and I think it's why it's important to dorks like me. When Terry Bradshaw or Ben Roethlisberger, Mario Lemieux or Sidney Crosby or Roberto Clemente or Willie Star Jones go their whole career in just that uniform, I think it makes it resonate all the more that those guys are, are playing for Pittsburgh teams and only for Pittsburgh teams. More than it matters. We obsess about that in Pittsburgh about T.J. watt can only be a one helmet guy.

[Stugotz]

Let's move on to the next look in the NFL, this is not a throwback. This is a new alternate look. We're talking alternate jersey, alternate shell. The most shocking thing about this New Orleans Saints look here is the fact that Brandon Cooks is yet again a New Orleans saint. Had very strange career for the man.

[Dan Le Batard]

Well, very strange to begin with in life, that I took this issue to Brandon directly and I asked him about a number of years ago. I understand that when it was time to name you, that you want to be distinctive, your child, your progeny, let's give him a name that's going to be unique as he goes out into the world. But really, it created a headache for poor Brandon because his name is Brandon. But the O has been replaced with an I. So now that has added on untold minutes, nay, hours, to his life of explaining. No, it's not. The O is that's about Brandon, but not with an O. With an I. And then when he's filling things out, he always has to do that. And maybe that's only four seconds every conversation. But as it goes along over the course of a lifetime, that's probably 20 minutes he's never going to get back.

[Stugotz]

Don Libertard.

[Tony]

I saw a post on Twitter yesterday how the Toronto Maple Leafs.

[Stugotz]

Yeah.

[Tony]

That they won the division. Guess what? It's been two years, and that's two years too long.

[Mike Ryan]

Stugats could take that ass, too. Oh, we're taking two asses.

[Stugotz]

This is the Dan lebatar show with the Stugats.

[Mike Ryan]

Just so that people understand that it's not going to just all be fun and jokes, though there will be fun and jokes. Football America, because of the man doing it, is also going to have a startling amount of good information because this man, if you followed his work over the years, combines the nutrients with the light. So when I tell you that Brandon Cooks infuriates me because I always bet his overs because all he's got to do is catch one ball and he won't do that for me all the time. Why am I an idiot for betting the over on Mo Ali Cox? One catch over eight and a half yards and Brandon Cooks just get me like 24 and a half yards. Surely you'll do that by catching the ball once because you're faster than everybody.

[Dan Le Batard]

Well, listen, I'm not here to knock that strategy. I love treating the 60 minutes of football. And you're just looking for one thing. My favorite version of what you're getting at, Le Batard, is the QB scramble bet. I'm not talking about if Lamar Jackson is the quarterback. I'm talking about the statue back there.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah. Eli Manning two up more than half a yard and then you lose it when they start kneeling at the end of the game, you get Them he runs for one yard and then. And they go in victory formation. At the end of the game. He's got negative one yard right.

[Dan Le Batard]

Betting. Betting on the goal and a half the puck. Line the puck because that's almost always in play. You can watch the entire game and then in the last minute it's decided by an empty netter or not. And that's a fun thing. This football specific version of that is. Yeah. Sam Darnold or otherwise. Nine and a half rushing yards and they can get that in one run. Brock Purdy 11 1/2 or whatever you think like is he. That it's. It happens in one play and then you're satiated. But then you have to turn back on the game much like you have to do to see if they hit the empty netter to see if he's going to kneel his way out of that. Yeah, that's intriguing betting. I love it.

[Stugotz]

Let's go to a look that received universal praise because Washington in a tricky spot. Everyone loved the uniforms except for that one little pesky helmet thing. And they changed their name to the Commanders. How do they tap into their history without offending? The Commanders came up with this sweet alternate look that taps into their heritage with that classic majority home look that the. The Washington football team went with for so many decades.

[Dan Le Batard]

Well, as I understand it, breaking news. Some people have called for the commander's name to. To go away and that. I don't know if you guys follow but yeah, I heard that somebody is upset about that either way. You know, the old name obviously offensive to a percentage of society. The should be offensive to even more football Americans. They're in our nation's capital, you understand? And they're the commies. They're the commies that they leaned right into doing that. This is not as bad though as the hockey team up there in Washington D.C. that they're now back to wearing the appropriate colors but for like 20 years or so. Again, this is our nation's hockey team and they call themselves the captain. So they're embracing it. And they skated out there for a long time in turquoise, black and gold. What the hell is the message of that? People should have just booed and thrown stuff on the ice out of principle. The Washington Capitals wore turquoise black and gold. The commies look. Okay, it's back to the John Riggins one which I assume plagues many of your dreams down there in South Beach.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah, we don't need to talk about John Riggins in that super bowl run that was Unnecessary.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah, well, your highlight there. You know what the.

[Mike Ryan]

No one remembers that damage. No. Like you realize only people of our age remember that that human being who ran for however many yards it was 60 yards on one run. That human being that size, that weight, that color does not exist anymore. That's how old what you're saying that human being is exist. It is extinct.

[Dan Le Batard]

I think you're right about that. Yeah. I'm trying to think if I can push back at all on that. Probably not. But. But yeah, first of all, the two takeaways from that, from the Dolphins little bit of trivia is Fulton Walker, number 41. He's. He's the first guy ever to return a kickoff in a Super bowl for a touchdown. So that was exciting. And also the correct answer to the trivia question that so often people get wrong when they say Trent Dilfer was in the Super Bowl. He's the worst to ever play in a Super Bowl. No, the Lake David Woodley is the correct answer. I don't mean to cast aspersions on him, but he is the worst quarterback to ever start a Super Bowl. David Woodley, who was replaced, of course, by Don Strock in. In perhaps the greatest game I've ever seen.

[Tony]

Dave, if someone told you one day that you have a soda drinker's body, would you be insulted?

[Dan Le Batard]

Is it?

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah.

[Dan Le Batard]

Well, you can't even see my shape.

[Tony]

Well, I'm not talking about you in particular.

[Mike Ryan]

Just if someone told me, is that an insult? He's asking, is that. That if someone looked at you and said you've got the body of a soda drinker, he's asking for a ruling on whether or not that is an insult.

[Dan Le Batard]

I'm going to say it is. Now, I think people now are up to speed on the. On the high fructose corn syrup that's in those sodas. And I think people understand that they make our youth fat. Right. So I think it is an insult. Yeah.

[Stugotz]

Well, also something that's going to change thanks to the first guy that you mentioned. Let's rat a tat tat. Some of these looks. I want you to pick the best one. These all received universal praise, the Bucks. Not the first time they've gone to the Creamsicle throwbacks, but it is the first time they've leaned into the all white look. The great alternate. This is absolutely. I mean, you know me, I'm a Baker guy. This one for me is tops. But let's look at the LA Chargers alternate navy look hearkens back to their 90s look, everyone was happy to see this with a modern funny I want.

[Dan Le Batard]

The Fouts because I want the one that I just. I just referenced the greatest game ever played or at least in the conversation. Dolphins. Chargers. The the Bavarian kicker kickoff.

[Mike Ryan]

Don't dilute it. It's the greatest game ever played. Don't dilute it. Look, Damascus, my favorite. Have a take and. And stick to it. Look, just stick to the it's the greatest game ever played. Don't dilate. Dilute it with perspective and nuance.

[Dan Le Batard]

You know football America is about inclusion and our sport of football. It is our national pastime. It's replaced baseball. I think we can all and nothing says that better than that early 80 showdown. Tony Nathan and Duriel Harris and all the rest of it. But that it came down to Banerka Von Shaman is the best couple. The Bavarian kickoff to decide all hash was was just the best Advon Shaman getting his block by Kellen Winslow and all the rest of it. What was the question? Oh, the Chargers.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah.

[Dan Le Batard]

Why don't they break out the Air Coriel era? That's what I want to see. The gold pants with the white shirt. Wes Chandler and all the rest of it. That's. That's the. The snappy look in my book that they live thought they had the tow Navy. I don't know who decided that that was something that we pined to see, but I reject it.

[Stugotz]

All right, how about the red Bills helmet that is coming back an alternate helmet. Once I saw that this was back in play, I immediately put a future on Buffalo to win the afc.

[Dan Le Batard]

Oh, I see. We don't park our cars in the same garage here. This is a. The perfect example. People use it about the Buccaneers, but I think the Red Bills hat is the. The. When we put it away for a little bit, then all of a sudden you care about it. No one liked these uniforms at the time. They were terrible uniforms. They were the worst thing about this is a team that lost four straight Super Bowls and still the Red Hats were the worst thing about them. So yeah, I'm not excited about the return of those.

[Tony]

Dave, if you were on a plane.

[Dan Le Batard]

I tell you something else though. Can I just say one more thing about the Bills while we're talking?

[Mike Ryan]

Seems like you're going to do it. Whether we say I'm doing, that's exactly what.

[Dan Le Batard]

Thank you. I think though, with the thing that intrigues me about the Buffalo Bills and they appear to be cursed and I think I know the root of why that is. It's because back in Roundabout 1960, the AFL is starting up and they say, hey, Buffalo, we're going to give your town one of these. One of these teams. And then Buffalo sets about. Let's. Let's come up with a name for that team. And of course, the city Buffalo is named after the majestic beast that once roamed the plains. And then they decided to name the team Buffalo Bills after Buffalo Bill Cody, who devoted his life to killing all of the buffalo. So why did they do.

[Mike Ryan]

Wild. Wild. Wild Bill Cody? Cody did that.

[Dan Le Batard]

Buffalo Bill. Buffalo Bill Cody. Buffalo Bill Cody killed the buffalo. Buffalo killed all the buffalo. So the city is named Buffalo. And then they named the team after Buffalo Bill who killed all those buffaloes.

[Tony]

Buffalo Bill is the guy from Silence of the Lamb who has the mangina.

[Dan Le Batard]

That's a. That's. I understand. I see where you're getting that confused, but no, there was another Buffalo Bill before the. The one who had the. The dog and the lady down in the hole.

[Mike Ryan]

What did you say? What? No, he's right. What did you say? Sounds Williams Danishek. Thank you for being on with us. We appreciate your time. Your contributions here have been. He pooped in a bathtub. And that. That's what you've done over the last 10. The. The podcast is football. Tony America. That sounded better. Jeremy's. Yours was earnest. I liked yours. I like. Can we try. Can we try this again?

[Dave Dameshek]

This is never good around this again. No, I don't want to try.

[Stugotz]

Jeremy, good job.

[Mike Ryan]

Y. Good for you.

[Stugotz]

It's not a good one.

[Mike Ryan]

All right, we'll figure out how to say the name in future episodes.

[Stugotz]

Got an exclamation point. Oh, you try so hard.

[Mike Ryan]

Dave, good seeing you. Thank you for being on the. On the maiden voyage of the show. Try to get your technology right, please.

[Dan Le Batard]

I will try to do that. Thank you so much. In the meantime, first guest. I'm working on Anatoly.

[Mike Ryan]

It's. I want Anatoly. Like, I'm excited about this. Like this. I can't talk about this enough. Was I introducing this to any of you guys? Were any of him.

[Dave Dameshek]

Yes, I had seen the videos. I had never seen any of that.

[Mike Ryan]

No, but not just seen the videos, though. I'm saying, had it registered with you to appreciate the videos as something those weightlifters are not acting. I've gotten. And I imagine this has happened to the rest of you, that most of you enter some of what it is you're watching, assuming some of these people are acting. And so the cynicism of that takes the joy away from it. But what these people are doing cannot be acted. So the surprise eyes of these weightlifters who I would expect to kick this person's ass at some point until they get to that. It is legitimately shocking to watch people who understand what kind of strength this man has discover it while watching it for the first time.

[Dave Dameshek]

That's exactly right. Because it's like the way people respond to Nathan for you, for example, where they just assume everybody is sort of a stooge or the people on the rehearsal. But like it wasn't that surprising because that's what happens in the gym when I go in and I do the same thing. So I understand why people are, you know, sort of assuming you can't lift if you look a certain way.

[Tony]

I had never seen weightlifting.

[Mike Ryan]

We know you got a soda.

[Stugotz]

Soda drinkers body.

[Mike Ryan]

You got a soda drinker's body like that. We can agree on that. Right? Like we're not saying somebody has a soda drinker's body and then also saying that person crushes it in the gym. Right. Like just crushes it. Does rigorous training. The two things can't coexist. Even if it's not an insult. We are not saying that that person is a maniac in the soda drinker's body. Correct.

[Dave Dameshek]

Ronnie Belliard would like a word.

[Stugotz]

He would.

[Dave Dameshek]

Ronnie Belliard, soda drinker's body. You know who else? Miguel Cairo.

[Mike Ryan]

It seems the exclusive domain of baseball players for soda.

[Dave Dameshek]

Well, if we're going athletes, you'll throw.

[Mike Ryan]

Well, but you throw in a Kyle Lowry and a Jalen Rose every once in a while. But it seems we're just doing this to baseball players with the soda drinker's body.

[Stugotz]

One of the few sports that you could play like looking like that.

[Dan Le Batard]

Carlos Stremsky, George Niang.

[Dave Dameshek]

There we go.

[Mike Ryan]

That's a good one.

[Dave Dameshek]

Attaboy.

[Mike Ryan]

See, let's. But that's love handles too. That is a good one though.

[Stugotz]

That's a soda drink drinker.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah.

[Mike Ryan]

Niang. Niang. I feel for Niang on that. He is not capable of muscle.

[Stugotz]

It's right there.

[Mike Ryan]

No, but right there. No, it's. No, it's a limitation. The soda.

[Stugotz]

No sodas.