The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz

Episode: Hour 1: Judge Pope Zaslow (feat. Jessica Smetana)
Date: November 19, 2025
Recording Location: The Elser Hotel, Downtown Miami

Episode Overview

This hour of The Dan Le Batard Show kicks off with a raucous blend of sports banter, college football debate, inside jokes, and a special appearance by Jessica Smetana. The group delves into the swirling drama around Notre Dame and Miami’s playoff outlooks, Lane Kiffin’s job rumors, the flawed College Football Playoff ranking logic, and some classic Miami Hurricanes nostalgia. An extended detour spotlights a humorous “courtroom” session with Judge Pope Zaslow presiding over podcast grievances. The show’s ever-irreverent tone and fast-paced debates are on full display.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Notre Dame, Miami, and College Football Playoff Rankings

• Jessica Smetana’s “Victory Lap”

  • Jessica is acknowledged for correctly forecasting Notre Dame’s rise in the playoff race and Miami's apparent fate.
  • Mike Ryan sets up the energy:
    “Jessica can dance and gloat with a victory lap because everything that's happened with Notre Dame is exactly what she said was going to happen…” (01:53)

• Lane Kiffin Drama

  • Jessica gives her take on rumors about Lane Kiffin’s alleged ultimatum and job hunting.
    “At first it's like when you're in a relationship, if you have to give the other person an ultimatum. You should probably just break up.” (06:26)
  • The group debates whether to trust Kiffin’s denials or the reporters’ claims.

• Playoff Selection Hypocrisy

  • Hostility toward inconsistent committee logic, especially regarding “quality wins” and teams’ resumes.
  • Zaslow: “It’s a hell of their own design.” (17:09)
  • Jessica: “Letting humans decide on these very complicated orderings of teams... there's always going to be bad choices made. We should just let the computers do it again.” (16:34)

• Notre Dame vs. Miami: Head-to-Head and Quality Losses

  • Heavy scrutiny placed on how the CFP values “quality losses” over head-to-head results.
    • Zaslow: “Why are they ranked ahead of SMU?... What is this mental programming that the CFP has where they value quality losses more than head to head matchups…” (22:22)

• Possible Future Scenarios

  • Jessica discusses what could happen if Miami finishes strong and Notre Dame falters:
    “That would be disappointing. But I also think that like, Notre Dame knew... they probably needed to win that game to be a lock in the playoff, and they lost by one point.” (23:22)

2. The Coaching Carousel & College Football Culture

• Ole Miss, Kiffin, and Jobs Openings

  • Smetana and the crew dissect the credibility of rumors and the “relationship drama” metaphor for coaching ultimatums.
  • Jessica calls out Kiffin’s post-denial “Tumblr, like, poems” on social media. (06:26)

• Notre Dame’s Wealth vs. The Vatican

  • Amin Elhassan raises the playful question: “Does Notre Dame have to kick back to the Vatican?” (11:43)
  • Jessica elaborates: “...in terms of their art collection, real estate, etc., I think [the Vatican] is more valuable. But in terms of monetary endowment funds, Notre Dame probably has close to the same amount...” (12:10)

3. Flawed Playoff Metrics, Statistical Debates, and Nostalgia

• Human vs. Computer Rationale

  • The panel rehashes why old computer-based rankings (BCS) were replaced and how human committees can be just as arbitrary.
  • Jessica: “The computers have Notre Dame ahead of Miami, as do the BCS race.” (16:34)

• Resume Stuffing and Manipulated Rankings

  • Zaslow accuses the committee of artificially boosting teams’ resumes by backfilling the bottom of the top 25.
    • Zaslow: “I highlighted Arizona State... at number 25. That represents Utah's best win. ...they find themselves at number 25, conveniently a week after Utah's athletic director joins the committee.” (19:38)

• Nostalgia: Hurricanes Offenses Through the Ages

  • Outstanding debate over whether the current Miami offense holds up historically, considering style-of-play inflation.
    • Mike Ryan: “If in the modern age... there are two offenses I think of in University of Miami history, when I think of just sheer absurdity…” (32:16)
    • Amin Elhassan draws parallels to the NBA’s statistical boom: “All kind of NBA stats are cuckoo right now. Like Buddy Hields, one of the greatest three-point shooters of all time.” (34:45)

4. Pop Culture Sidetracks and Internet Minute

• Jessica’s Viral Segment

  • “Internet Minute” launches a mini-saga on a journalist’s bizarre romantic entanglements with public figures (including a sports tie to Keith Olbermann).
  • Mike Ryan’s blunt summary: “She pretends to be a journalist while dating our —or having an affair with RFK, who she was profiling.” (27:05)

• Cheerleading & The Rock Costume

  • Amin asks Jessica: “Do you know anyone who's not already a cheerleader who watches recreationally cheerleading competitions?” (25:17)
  • She jokingly points to the North Carolina Tar Heels coach, referencing his new relationship.

• On-Set Hijinks

  • Jessica: “By the way, Dan, I wore a costume today. I'm the Rock. I have a fanny pack on.” (28:02)

5. Meta Podcast Grievance: Judge Pope Zaslow Presiding

• Who Was Mike’s Question For? Courtroom Drama
  • A classic bit: the show dives into an on-air dispute about who Mike Ryan was directing a long-winded question toward in a previous episode.
  • The segment parodies a legal proceeding with “Judge Pope Zaslow” presiding.
    • Zaslow: “Jonathan Zappo now presiding with prejudice.” (42:20)

Memorable moment:

Judge Zaslow’s Ruling

• Zaslow: “I rule in favor of the question being for Jonathan Zaslow...” (44:47)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Jessica on Ultimatums:
  “If you have to give the other person an ultimatum. You should probably just break up.” (06:26)

• On Computers vs. Committee:
  “We should just let the computers do it again. And by the way, the computers have Notre Dame ahead of Miami...” – Jessica Smetana (16:34)

• Jessica on Cheating (and Mrs. Met):
  “The only thing I want to see clapping are them cheeks on Mrs. Met in my face, my shirt. All right, so that's one thing.” (15:46)

• Zaslow on Playoff Committee Hypocrisy:
  “This makes zero sense. And it’s a hell of their own design.” (17:09)

• Mike Ryan on Modern Offenses:
  “The question I was going to ask you is if in the modern age... you can tell me that Restrepo is the best receiver in Miami history because the production suggests as much. But he's not.” (33:40)

• Debating Tom Brady’s Broadcasting:
  “You guys say that, though. But I have found that athletes take to coaching well and want to be better, so they crave criticism… I assume he wants to be better at it. I don't think he wants to be bad at it.” – Mike Ryan (39:58)

• On Meta-Podcast Courtroom:
  “Let’s revisit the question in question from yesterday’s show. Let’s play. I need some evidence here. And we will decide if the question was for me or... for Amin.” – Mike Ryan (43:02)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• [01:38] - Episode content begins, Notre Dame–Miami context introduced
• [06:26] - Jessica Smetana on Lane Kiffin and relationship ultimatums
• [09:00] - Mike Ryan and Jessica on unprecedented nature of coaches leaving before playoffs
• [11:43] - Amin Elhassan jokes about Notre Dame “kicking back” to the Vatican
• [16:34] - Jessica advocates for computers over human committee for rankings
• [17:09] - Zaslow rails against selection committee hypocrisy
• [19:38] - Discussion on committee resume-stuffing/backfilling
• [23:22] - Jessica on Notre Dame’s playoff fate if Miami jumps them
• [25:17] - Cheerleading competition sidebar with Amin and Jessica
• [27:05] - Scandalous “Internet Minute” story about political reporter
• [32:16] - Mike Ryan’s Miami Hurricanes offense ranking debate
• [34:45] - Amin’s NBA-UM nostalgia/statistical inflation parallel
• [42:20] - “Judge Pope Zaslow” legal skit over podcast question attribution
• [44:47] - Judge Zaslow delivers his ruling

Podcast Tone & Style

The hour is dense with playful antagonism, football obsessiveness, and meta-humor. Jessica Smetana’s delightfully dry, rapid-fire analysis and willingness to “gloat” is matched by Mike Ryan and Zaslow’s sardonic urgency. Frequent asides, layered in-jokes, and detours define the show’s signature irreverence. Even weighty sports debates are given the show’s trademark levity and meta-awareness, aided by spontaneous audience-like banter among the hosts.

Summary for the Uninitiated

Listeners will enjoy:

• A sharply-cut debate on the college football playoff, highlighting the faults of current selection logic.
• Jessica Smetana’s razor-sharp insights on college football politics, with plenty of gloating and jabs at rivals.
• Nostalgia for signature Miami teams, comparisons to NBA statistical inflation, and how sports metrics are now warped.
• An offbeat yet entertaining “courtroom” session that turns meta-podcast gripes into a satirical legal proceeding.
• Frequent pop-culture asides and in-jokes, making for an engaging, unpredictable listen even when you’re not familiar with the on-field particulars.

Skip to [16:34] and [42:20] for the most entertaining, memorable showdowns.