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We gather here tonight to bring women
Dan Le Batard
back to their rightful place.
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The Testaments, a new Hulu Original Series from the executive producers of the Handmaid's Tale. It's easier to accept a story than
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believe that the people around you are monsters.
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The battle isn't over. There comes a time when you have
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to take action, when you have to
Dan Le Batard
choose your own destiny. Never quite as it seems.
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What's the new Hulu Original Series? The Testaments, streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney for bundle subscribers terms apply.
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Co-host or Contributor
show with the Stugats podcast.
This episode of the Dan Lebatard show is presented by DraftKings. DraftKings. The Crown is yours.
Dan Le Batard
Whoa. That was swag. Chris Cody, I just saw you. I just witnessed at the end of that hour what I'm going to say is the seminal moment of Chris Cody coming into his own because. And I don't think any of this was on camera, but it was funny to me. Jeremy threw the show to Chris. I sound like Chris looks and Chris in full character, Texas attorney at the top of the mountain looking better than that guy. Than Puka's attorney. You do look better than him, though.
Guest or Contributor
Thank you.
Dan Le Batard
No, but I thought we established that. You absolutely look better, just not that much younger.
Co-host or Contributor
I disagree.
Dan Le Batard
You know, Dan, you're not that complicated. You just love a good costume.
You do. You're a simple man.
You're a man of simple taste.
No, but here's the thing.
You're in a good mood when someone
dresses up well, that's not. Not up for dispute. But specifically him rising to the top of the ranks. Cowboy Chris Cody. Him ending that segment. I sound like Chris looks and Chris lassoing the show and then pointing at the camera with the sexiest swagger I've ever seen. That is the height of confidence for a Cody. He felt good. And it's because he's wearing a powder blue suit and a cowboy hat.
Yeah. Now, we did cut to Tony, but I saw, I was looking at Chris. I saw from the back.
Yes, you look great. So anyway, tonight, these are the video stylings. We're going to give you impeccable timing throughout where, yes, there will be a camera shot of Tony when Chris is doing something funny, but then we'll describe it for you and the next day on the show and the video will get some of it. But Also, there's an 8pm deadline on Iran and it's not a joking matter. I'm sorry I made you sad, Chris. You did very well because you've come into your own. You went straight from giggling, sassy and sexy.
Co-host or Contributor
Took all the air out of me
Dan Le Batard
to your 8pm Nuke.
Deadline News on that front is in the wake of President Trump's morning statement, all diplomatic talks from Iran have apparently been cut off. So we will all wait and see together what this deadline means. Many deadlines have come and gone. We'll see. This one's been pretty steadfastly, but a
bit, a bit of an apocalyptic livestream for us tonight might be. Literally, I wasn't even joking in terms of dark times. Okay, look, since the pandemic, this show has done its tap dance around sports every day. And we do care about sports. I just heard Zaz say a second ago, I'm going to SummerSlam. Made me laugh.
We'll see about that.
It made me laugh because it's not a sport, right? No, no, because Zaz is still enthusiastic. Look, Zaz loves sports. Like these things that allow us to tap back into childhood are lovely loveliers now than ever. Cuz the world's burning. And we tried to play baseball games and basketball games during the pandemic, keeping the American economy of sports alive. Because we need this thing, this stupid, stupid thing that makes us laugh every day and takes us away from. Yes, of course, the government's more overtly corrupt and racist and dangerous than it's ever been as it tries to dismantle democracy and government systems in the name of. Everybody get more dollars, especially the President's kids. Like the whole thing. Thing that's happening right now is a lunatic king is raining down bombs on a people. Whether you agree with whether or not we're doing it or not. And they've hurt our oil supply and so now we're gonna bomb them more because we want their oil, because we got Venezuela's oil. And soon we'll try and keep Cuba alive with some of that oil or won't. And the idiot king who runs our country and needs it taken away from him now before he kills yet more people. Cuz plenty are dying as it is in the middle of that tonight we'll be watching Marlin's pan. Panthers in heat.
And it's all brought to you by. Never miss your shot, golf. We're so pumped to have these guys aboard. They really get this show and they're making tonight possible. Thank you. Never miss your show.
So it's a 305equinox and it's like we are like, I don't care what the wording is. We're not on the cusp of war. You can't keep telling me that the war's over and you've obliterated them. While we need hero rescues in order to get our pilots out of danger. That was supposed to be stealth. And we've got video. Video like you. We're long past idiocracy, right? Like the late night shows that are being threatened by the FCC because they're going to wipe out media here.
Bingo. I got bingo.
You've got Donald Trump next to a bunny rabbit. This was funny on. Yeah. The visual of this in the middle of war. A lunatic or lunatic clown, corrupt king doesn't know his wife's next to him.
No.
Doesn't even know you.
Doesn't watch this video because you think when you step out onto a balcony with two people, one of them being the Easter bunny, you'd have your wits about you. But here's Donald Trump not knowing where the first lady is, even though she's directly to his right.
Guest or Analyst
I don't think it gets much more hostile than Iran. They're capable fighters. They're very tough people. And there are others like that. You don't mind when the enemy is weak, but that enemy is strong. Not so strong like they were about a month ago, I can tell you. In fact, right now, they're not too strong at all, in my opinion. But we're soon gonna find out, aren't we?
Dan Le Batard
Okay, well, maybe that's not that. But trust, take my word for it. He didn't know where she was we
will get that video for you and we will bring it before the audience day and night today.
Guest or Contributor
So are they weak or are they strong?
Co-host or Contributor
They're strong.
Dan Le Batard
They're strong people. Got a million man army weaker than they were a month ago.
And Sandy's on the bump tonight because.
Ooh, yeah, that's good.
Co-host or Contributor
Ooh, I like that.
Dan Le Batard
We'll enjoy some Marlins baseball tonight.
And if you like betting the habs ton Canadians little thing I'd like to do SGP Caulfield goal, Suzuki assist Canadians money.
Co-host or Contributor
Also 3pm cyclones.
Dan Le Batard
Okay, that would be a good. That would have been a good sponsored gambling segment. I don't know why you just threw it in there in the middle of what we're doing. Let me get back.
I'm throwing something in the middle of what we're doing. Well, I want to throw something technically all a promo.
What about the Trump sound of him talking about an orgy? Sheriff, as you were. As you were.
Co-host or Contributor
All you need is a well placed sheriff Dan.
Dan Le Batard
And you're good. Is the computer buffering or why is it. Why is it that you got scared and I feel. I felt these. I felt the sweat gather on the back of your white collar.
Co-host or Contributor
I didn't notice anything.
Dan Le Batard
There was a puddle. Wait, Tony, explain to me. What do you mean? Keep it moving? I think that Jeremy was throwing it.
Co-host or Contributor
Can't confirm. Back of the neck, very warm.
Dan Le Batard
I don't want to mute that YouTube.
Co-host or Contributor
You want the orgy sound or not?
Dan Le Batard
No, what I wanted was the sound of him not knowing his wife was next to him. That was the sound.
Co-host or Contributor
I don't have that.
Dan Le Batard
I have the orgy sound.
Okay.
Co-host or Contributor
I don't have sound that says Trump discusses orgy parenthetically. Not really.
Dan Le Batard
I don't want that. So, sure. I don't want the orgy sound. I want to talk more about the sweat gathering on the back of your white collared neck. The shirt is too tight. It is starched. And I want to slow everything down here and get the sound that I wanted, which is of him. Because it's. It's idiocracy. Okay. Okay. We are well past sort of apocalyptic times in terms of this is in no semblance of way normal, that the president of our country is just a deranged lunatic whose mental health insanity can be questioned daily because the last five years of his life must have been like ravaging pressure at all times. Like, you can't live amid this kind of corruption and scandal this close from losing your Freedom, charged with 34 felonies. Need to overturn the government and our election system in order to stay in power and get your kids rich. Like you can't do all of that sanely. Like that's all of that will make anybody just nuts. Everything that we're talking about here and guilty of every crime allegedly like every crime. And Michael Malone is the new coach of the North Carolina Tar Heels.
It's an interesting fit.
Co-host or Contributor
I like the fit.
Guest or Contributor
Football and basketball now have champion coaches at the professional level.
Dan Le Batard
Right. I'm judging this when I hold it against the Bill Belichick active disaster. Right. Mike Malone hasn't been in this spot before but you know, we know him to be a good coach.
Guest or Contributor
He's never like actually coached college I don't think.
Dan Le Batard
Right. But I don't know if this is. I don't think he's a guy that you know, won't adapt to this sport. He's got some juice.
Guest or Contributor
But doesn't this mean like similar to Belichick, doesn't it mean that Malone wasn't going to get another NBA job?
Dan Le Batard
Oh, you guys are going to have to help me with some of this because this one's going to be confounding for a while for me. Everything about what just happened here because at any time that I've been living, Michael Malone would be a coveted coaching candidate in basketball because of what he did in Denver that we know that he's got a three time MVP who's an unprecedented player. Still hard to do one they're not any better without him. And that person throughout my entire lifetime of coaching is someone who's going to be very coveted by whomever needs coaches. But the reason that you would question this, and I understand everyone who's questioning it, including by the way, because Yahoo is writing this headline which I didn't think I'd live long enough to see, you went NC's high risk hire of Michael Malone shows that blue blue blood jobs have lost some allure. I'm like wait a minute, you think Mike Malone should be thankful that he gets to coach North Carolina when this guy was a champion in the pros. And what I just watched for months was practice basketball by amateurs. You can wrap it up and celebrate it as Michigan. Congratulations on winning the championship. But that's slop basketball we watched in the men's and women's sport. Like better than the Wizards job. No, super terrible. And a champion now graces your campus to join the other champion that we question because in the modern age that professional championship means less than it ever has. Because we're not convinced. Belichick chief among the examples why that any of these pros can come to the business of what college is and recruit 17 year old kids successfully, even if you give them a $20 million payroll to run.
Maybe this is a signal that he wasn't in the mix for NBA jobs. I think, I think it's important to remember he was let go by the Nuggets like right before last postseason and he was heavily linked to the New York Knicks job that ends up going to Mike Brown. He hasn't exactly had like multiple hiring cycles where he's not relevant. He's an NBA champion, he's still young. He's, he's around the sport. We can't ignore the fact that his daughter is presently enrolled at North Carolina, is a volleyball player there. That could certainly, I bet it did play into this decision.
Co-host or Contributor
And we talk about the conversation of players. Coach, hard ass coach, like Mike Malone is a hard ass coach. And usually those tend to do well in the college system, in the college infrastructure of like, all right, this is how we do things. I've come and I've coached the best of the best. I'm going to help you be the best here, okay?
Dan Le Batard
But you guys need to walk me down a path here because I need to get some of these things right. Because what I'm telling you about Michael Malone is strange. That is strange. I think the man's champion, he's done an impressive thing coaching a team of professionals that I saw winning that sport when it's really hard. Giannis has won like Jokic is, many MVPs, but he's got one of those trophies. Only one, one guy gets to win him every year. And in my life experience, even in basketball coaching, where Sam Mitchell can be coach of the year and then fired the next year, even for as long as I've lived, a guy wins a championship and soon thereafter the team doesn't get worse. And it, it's not. There were all sorts of questions about him and how hard he was being on that locker room. Okay? But Michael Malone is reputed to be a champion by resume. And I hadn't thought about him at all, hadn't considered him for any of the coveted jobs. He had vanished from my thought process. Even if he got an interview here and there. And it's because I think we now all know, oh, Jokic would have won with somebody there. That's his prime. He's an unstoppable. Everybody who's got an MVP like that can win a title and so Michael Malone gets diminished there. But when are we calling him Mike? And when are we calling him Michael?
Co-host or Contributor
Because it's all Michael now.
Dan Le Batard
No, but you called him Mike.
Commercial Narrator
I did.
Dan Le Batard
I'm a mistake.
Co-host or Contributor
I was a mistake.
Dan Le Batard
Okay, but he made us change it after he won the championship, correct? Is that not when he became Michael Malone? He changed his name. It's an odd thing in your 50s to change from Mike to Michael. Was it after he won the championship? Do I have my timeline right?
Co-host or Contributor
Yeah, I believe so. Amin said that he's always been Michael and always wanted to be Michael. But when the national narrative was, they're talking about the coach of the Denver Nuggets now. It was like, hey, call me Michael.
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Dan Le Batard
hey, Roy, buddy.
Co-host or Contributor
Yo.
Dan Le Batard
You know that energy shift when the game gets good and everybody all together in unison knows to stand up on their feet?
Co-host or Contributor
Oh, absolutely, Mike.
Yeah?
Dan Le Batard
You've been at many big time sporting events. You know that moment quite well. That's what it's like when you take your first sip of Cuervo.
Co-host or Contributor
Oh, delicious.
Dan Le Batard
It's the signal that says, we're not checking the time anymore, pal. It's when small talk turns into stories. Cuervo, man. It's that high five. A random stranger effect. That's right. The game is popping. You're hugging people you never met before. That's the kind of energy that Cuervo brings. It's so smooth, so delicious. That's the Cuervo effect. Keep it Cuervo.
Co-host or Contributor
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Dan Le Batard
Don Lebatard always good to see everybody, despite the fact that everyone appears to hate me.
Stugats. Yeah, I love you, but that's on you.
Co-host or Contributor
I'm into.
Dan Le Batard
I don't know you that well.
Yeah, they said that you both suck ass and were bitten in the ass. So those are both things that you, you were accused of during this you're rough headed for my ass situation.
Co-host or Contributor
This is the Dan Levatar show with the stugats.
Guest or Contributor
It's also easier just to say Mike comes off the tongue easier.
Dan Le Batard
Mike Malone, regardless. Like the jobs that were available for a former NBA champion head coach. Last year it was the Knicks. Like, that was basically one hiring that he'd be interested in the guy. I don't think Michael Malone has interest in like going to Brooklyn, let's say, and doing that after he's been to the mountaintop.
I have a question now, and it's a simple poll question. Would Mike Jordan have been as good a basketball player would Mike Jordan have been as good a basketball player as Michael Jordan?
Co-host or Contributor
Well, I see that and I raise you. I want to be like Michael. Can't be like Michael. I want to be like Mike.
Guest or Contributor
You want to talk about Tony vowing to be better than yesterday? That's a good job.
Dan Le Batard
All right, I'm going to play this video from the parade and you guys need to help. I do need the help here. Is this Mike or Michael Malone making these comments while wearing a flat brim hat and a. And a necklace, Cuban link chain. Look. No, wait a minute. Let's be honest about what happened here. Somewhere around the identity change of champion, Mike goes to Michael. He became this guy who had a little bit of gangster in him and none of us had seen us before he became Michael. Correct.
Co-host or Contributor
Is Brucey B going anywhere? Hell no. Hell no. Hell no. Hey, we running this back. We running this. Hell yeah. Come on, get loud. Get loud.
Dan Le Batard
Brucey B was moved that offseason, literally moments later.
Okay, but this is. Give me some more sound of Malone. So what did we. We discussed at the time was he banged up, Was he being hype? Man, who is this personality none of us had ever seen before?
I watch that and I say, he's not going to struggle at all. Connecting to college kids. That guy seems really cool.
Co-host or Contributor
That guy is Mike Malone.
Dan Le Batard
So which one is this? Tell me, who's this? Mike or Michael Malone who's getting angry with the press here?
How hard is it just to absorb a loss like this after going ahead by 20?
Co-host or Contributor
Next question. Man, the season's over. That's what's hard being at 20.
Dan Le Batard
The season's over.
You don't understand that.
Co-host or Contributor
The season's over. It's hard.
Dan Le Batard
Stupid ass questions as people are celebrating in the background.
Co-host or Contributor
That is Mike, though. Stupid ass questions at the end is
Dan Le Batard
a little like, no, but wait, though. These are two different human beings. Hold on.
Guest or Contributor
I know that was Michael.
Dan Le Batard
I want to put these sounds next to each other and you tell me who's Mike and who's Michael? Because these are not the same human being. The guy who was undressing the reporter from the perch of I'm in power, is that the what's up guy over here? Let's hear his raspy voice.
Co-host or Contributor
Is Brucey B Going anywhere? Hell no. No. Hell. Hey, we running this back. We running this back. Hell yeah. Come on, get loud. Get loud. Get loud.
Dan Le Batard
That might be Mikey.
Co-host or Contributor
Get loud.
Dan Le Batard
Roy, I need a ruling here. This. This feels like. It does feel like Mikey. That's Mikey Malone. That's neither Mike nor Michael.
Co-host or Contributor
That's Mikey.
Get loud.
Dan Le Batard
So do you think it's gonna work out? I mean.
No.
Why not?
Okay, look, look. This is really a hugely interesting time in professional sports and amateur sports becoming professional sports. And us talking for the last few days about Corey Close, the champion of the ucla. Like, that's an amazing season in a basketball historic town. Bringing UCLA back to prominence by getting rid of UConn and South Carolina. She's telling you the job sucks. The job sucks. It's not a coaching job. It's a business job. You're the head of a. Of a. Of a money farm here, coach. Here's your $20 million payroll. Figure it out.
Co-host or Contributor
Isn't that kind of more the NBA model?
Dan Le Batard
The coaches aren't in charge. The coaches are middle managers in the NBA. They have a whole structure above them that's farmed out. It's not Andrew Luck coming over here and scratching his head and saying, well, my dad was an administrator. I'll figure it out. Like, these people have to build giant athletic departments around these $100 million economies. Because all of these things, what Michigan just did for its schools of business, what Michigan just did by winning championships here recently, by buying and selling with Jim Harbaugh, he flees. You win a football championship and now you win a basketball one too. Is Florida the last one to do this where you get both the big championships and now you're in the big money game at the best time to be in the big money game? Cuz all of these people have realized that all of these businesses are undervalued. Like these are huge television properties. And Michigan now is a monster, a monster out of the conference that's the plotting conference in the graceful athletic sports. The cement truck moves through the fields, pushing people around. Cuz we're bigger than you are because we're stronger than you are. Connecticut did what it wanted in the post this year, but not last night.
Co-host or Contributor
That Mar guy's a stiff, by the way.
Dan Le Batard
I mean, he's a stiff. Absolute stiff. He's a stiff. That gave people problems. I guess it works in college.
Co-host or Contributor
Shooting an oak tree.
Dan Le Batard
That's terrible. I want to make sure that we're still talking about like the Michael Malone thing though. And I want to provide helpful context. This is courtesy of Jeff Goodman. Now it was this Malone hire came out of nowhere. The only people that were talking about Malone was the occasional message board post that would say, hey, his daughter goes to uncle. He was not at all in it, but they were top line shopping. They were going after Tommy Lloyd, they were going after Dusty May. They all passed on it. I don't know if you guys are watching what's happening in the transfer portal right now. It is popping. A lot of players are entering that. They wanted to have a coach in place. Their top choice after May and Lloyd passed was Billy Donovan. Billy Donovan wanted to wait till the end of the season. UNC obviously panicking seeing all this moves, all these moves in the transfer portal wanted to have someone installed. So they decided the former NBA champion was the best pivot after their top line guys declined.
And what I'm saying to you guys about the infrastructure of the business of sports. Michael Malone, champion is being summoned because we believe he has some sort of leadership skill set that would make him qualified to respect the basketball tradition of North Carolina when they risk this because they already failed with Belichick. But football doesn't matter there. Basketball is not that. Basketball is the region's identity. He would have been Mike Jordan in another city. He's Michael Jordan there because of what he did to that. That School cares about basketball. For that school to think of Michael Malone as a downgrade is funny for me to not think about Michael Malone at all for a year and a half is also funny because usually you get more credit than that for winning a championship. But I think the reason that it's fair to question this and it's obvious is what experience does this human being have? Not coaching an mvp. Running the business of sports, when coaching is like the third job, like the X's and O's of the stuff on the court is secondary to. You're gonna be our CEO, right? Brian Kelly, you're gonna be our CEO and we're gonna fight over hundreds of millions of dollars cuz we're gonna give you a $25 million payroll to run by yourself. You're the leader of it. I feel like you need to have an accounting degree to start to know where it is that all the obstacles are. The moment that Michael Malone walks into the building when he's been working in television for like, it's not been this. The number of questions he has to have walking in day one are questions he cannot answer himself without help.
I don't think this is the same uphill climb that Bill Belichick had for. For basketball. They have a pretty good nil program. They have a lot of talent. I don't see this as a downgrade from where they were in Hubert Davis. I think believe Michael Malone to be a really good head coach. And even if you just plug him into the existing team, that's a team that now beats vcu.
Co-host or Contributor
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Commercial Narrator
K Pop Demon Hunters Haja Boy's breakfast meal and Hunt Tricks Meal have just dropped at McDonald's. They're calling this a battle for the fans. What do you say to that Rumi? It's not a battle. So glad the Saja Boys could take breakfast and give our meal the rest of the day.
Dan Le Batard
It is an honor to share.
Commercial Narrator
No, it's our honor.
Dan Le Batard
It is our larger honor. No really, stop.
Commercial Narrator
You can really feel the respect in this battle. Pick a meal to pick a side
and participate in McDonald's while supplies last.
Dan Le Batard
Don LeBatard in terms of Heat fans, you're the most irrational of us right now.
Co-host or Contributor
What's the pivot for how irrational?
Dan Le Batard
Stugats how am I irrational? You don't hear your voice. If I were making a cartoon thing that was meant to symbolize irrational, that's
Co-host or Contributor
the voice I would give premise this
is the Dan Levatar show with the ST Gods.
Dan Le Batard
My larger point on seeing all of the tectonic plate shift on the business of this Please dear God, follow the dollars on the all of this because Michigan just made itself a whole lot of money and we're putting a lot of people in power. I'm not going to say they're random, but they went and got Hubert Davis and they made him a coach during a different time and then their standards swallowed him up. This person is a dinosaur for what it is that he's about to embark on, which I would prefer at this point in how they build these things as Please dear God, give me the 30 and 40 year old guys who know how to run a front office the way baseball runs a front office because I need to see save every dollar here. We need to cut out all the inefficiencies that come with. What do you mean? Michael Malone has never done any of this before? What? What do you mean? That Michael Malone. Yeah, we'll bring him in for X's and O's. But he hasn't recruited. He hasn't. He doesn't know what it's like to walk into a living room and now have a 17 year old's family, all of the uncles fighting over whatever the money is. That's going to be a $2 million nil deal. He's never done any of that.
Co-host or Contributor
He hasn't. But he's. He's Michael Malone, right? You talk about Tommy Lloyd. Who here has heard of Tommy Lloyd? 17, 18 year old kid, knows him as the Arizona head coach.
I know, but tell Joey, right?
He's the Arizona coach.
Dan Le Batard
Arizona head coach. But still. But to your point, Michael Malone does have very recent cachet and he's not some dinosaur. He's 54 years old. He's pretty much the same age as all the other guys that we're talking.
So I'm sorry I did that because I am thinking now for today's money game that the 54 year old is a dinosaur. Unless he's coming with 15 years of experience at nil and recruiting.
Right. Dussie Mae is about to be 50. Tommy Lloyd is 51 years old. Michael Malone is 54. He's.
He.
This isn't Bill Belichick. At the end of his career. He's got plenty of energy. I do think he's going to have to learn about how to handle those recruits and the whole NIL business. Thankfully he's with a program that's got that pretty much well down on the basketball front at least.
Co-host or Contributor
And nobody has experience of 15 years in nil because it hasn't existed. Right. You're talking about 5 years, 4 years of people really having.
Dan Le Batard
Oh, but I, so I'm sorry I made it. I combined five with 10 because I'm not just doing nil. I'm doing the job requirements to be Mario Cristobal where it's years on the road recruiting like you're simply getting good. Look, these skill sets, I just, I am consistently amazed that you guys think that a Brian Kelly comes in and is just smarter than anyone else in the history of, you know, know, leadership straw man.
I don't think anybody here did.
No. But he got the first big one. The first big one of oh, I can't believe the CEO of Notre Dame went and said LSU football is better and that LSU was able to buy one of these genius CEOs who was coming into the game and left behind as soon as he walking through the door. Because I believe maybe Andrew Luck is doing this smarter than everyone else at Stanford. Maybe all he needs to do is get the $50 million donors who will keep giving him money. But if Andrew Luck is going to build an athletic department that honors what his father did in administration throughout his career, that he would leave professional football to do it, it's because he's managing an athletic department that is about to be worth, in the streaming age, hundreds of millions of dollars. If you do what Michigan just did, where you're great at football and you're great at basketball when there's no preordained right that makes you these things. They haven't won a championship at Michigan in 37 years. That was Ramil Robinson. That was Glen Rice. That was. That's. This team will not be remembered as the previous favorite team since then of Michigan, which was the Fab Five. The team that just won the championship and had the best regular season that conference has ever seen, will not be remembered the way the Fab Five would for being a style choice instead of actually excellent because they couldn't do what Dusty May just did.
I hear all the questions that everybody has them when it comes to Michael Malone. UNC had them, which is why they tried to get other guys. They tried to get all the other top names. They all said no. So when you're left with, do we wait around for Billy Donovan, who, by the way, is also wet behind the ears when it comes to nil. All right? He's been out of that game.
Guest or Contributor
Wouldn't you have assumed they reached out to Billy Donovan?
Dan Le Batard
They did. The reports are that Billy Donovan wanted to wait till the end of the NBA season.
I'm disturbed by how little Zaz is listening to the show. He's had these lapses lately. How are we going to punish this?
It's all right. I mentioned it in the middle of stuff. Jeff Goodman, you mentioned the Billy Donovan bar. Yeah. Jeff Goodman mentioned that Billy Donovan wanted to wait till the end of the season. Are you sure? Yes. Yes, I am. It's not that important we move on. UNC was faced with all our top guys that are active in this sport, that know what this world is like today, have passed on this job. Do we wait for Billy Donovan as the transfer portal is opening and take our chances, or do we put somebody in place with some cachet? That's when an NBA title within the last last three years and we Hit the ground running right now with a shock hire. They obviously decided on that. It's not like Billy Donovan knows about Nil either.
Guest or Contributor
You mentioned about recruiting. And how much does Michael Malone know about going into someone's living room and recruiting them? You're telling me you don't think the first question out of all these recruits, mouths out of their parents mouths, whoever it is that's in the room is how much are you paying me?
Dan Le Batard
Yes.
Guest or Contributor
So what are we talking about when
Dan Le Batard
it comes to recruiting? Well, because there, there are funds to be negotiated. Look, Mike's actually gotten into the weeds on some of this stuff. It' it is really fascinating to me that anybody like, I don't know what would be your archetype for some fictional coach of go get me the best guy to run one of the real big prestige programs and make sure that North Carolina keeps it where Mike Jordan would want it. Like, go get me that person. I don't know who your ideal candidate is, but mine would be a skill set of somebody who can come in and grab a fundraising outfit and make it more valuable and get out there and be a public facing voice and face for the team. Someone else got game day for me because I've got to go do the optics of keeping all of this up here looking right to everyone else, but govern most smartly because I'm not one of the inefficient schools that doesn't know how to do the unscientific thing of making sure that these kids who can't play basketball because, God, there was a lot of slop in this tournament. These kids who are still learning how to play basketball, many of them very bad at it, still make that a business that's worth more than $20 million a year because I'm paying you X to do it. I can't believe that Michael Malone, when I call him a dinosaur. Mike, you do understand that I'm just calling it from within the construct of you're starting right now and your first day on the job is the first day that you're going to have any experience with the world you're presently entering. It's not what you were doing before. It's in no way shape or being with your assistant coaches running through film on how it is to make sure that you go to the right side of somebody in that game. Like he's been doing a completely different thing. And if that's what North Carolina hired him for, he'll be very good at that. But there's not going to be time for that.
Right. But outside of like the six guys that they were talking to say they pivot to Jay Lucas. Jay Lucas also doesn't know what that is like.
Guest or Contributor
He was in the college game, he
Dan Le Batard
was an assistant at Duke. But he has no real experience being the head man at an institution quite like that. So when you look at the surroundings, I understand why they landed on Michael.
Mike so.
And by the way, it seems as though he chose this. Michael Malone was about to enter another NBA hiring cycle where he would be one of the more obvious names linked to that. I think he has a passion to do this at the school that his daughter is attending.
Guest or Contributor
I think for all the reasons that you just laid out with Mike Malone having zero experience with any of this, it's his agent's job to know before the coaching cycle begins in the NBA if his client is going to have a chance at one of these jobs. And I think it means that he
Dan Le Batard
wasn't the part though. That's most interesting to me and I don't think that you guys are in alignment with me on this. The thing that's interesting to me is that as we discuss this hire as if any of us actually know what goes into the day to day details of running a giant athletic department business. Yeah, you've got accounting over here and whatever, but Michael Malone is coming to North Carolina and you've got it being a reunion with his kid. And what it's going to be is an all consuming business job in the pressurized center of the only winning thing that region has had that gives it any national pride. What do they have there? Cam Newton's MVP season. Like they've been playing sports for a long time. The NC State Wolf Pack have been in the middle of the conference for a long time without much of that stuff mattering. This is the thing in that conference that is the most, that is the golden thing, that their last coach isn't good enough even though he's a local icon, even though he played within a shot of the championship. Not good enough because he's out in the first round. Because the standards of this school is we play against UConn in Michigan. Michigan doesn't have a right to be here more than we do. Why is Michigan here? Here you're giving that job to a person who the day he walks in on day one make him nameless, doesn't have the skill set that they just hired him for. Because the job he's good at, he's not going to get to do for another four months. When he runs his first practice right.
Which is why he was probably seventh on their list. Six guys said no, but you just
said Jay Lucas doesn't have the experience. And I'm like for a year he got it like that. You don't go. He just beat everybody at the most competitive thing. Okay. Going from 7 and 24 to 24 and 7. Just, just rocket shipped his value in this economy because in the year of learning, he's got a year head start on Michael Malone. He's got a year head start. Michael Malone's got the program, the history
and an NBA championship and the better
players this year by reputation where Shelton Henderson is somebody that is leaving.
Well, he's coming back.
No, but I'm saying he's leaving North Carolina to come to you. He's leaving Duke. He's leaving that, that sphere which is a different sphere than the one that Miami lives in.
Yeah, but I think we can all agree and I'm the biggest Jay Lucas fan there is. Like Michael Malone is at a different tier even, even saying all the things that you're saying. I understand. I have probably in this room I have the best idea of what that job looks like. Number one is energy and effort and availability. I don't know enough about Michael Malone outside of that clips where he seems really cool. Like I think he's got the energy for it. So I think. And he's certainly. It's got impressive bona fides.
This is the, this is the part. Zaz, am I getting this part wrong? Because I believe all of this is so hyper specialized as commerce, as business that just generally speaking, if you give me two candidates to connect with where basketball is now, is it a young 37 year old guy or is it an old 54 year old white guy? Like where you connect with this sport. I don't think Michael Malone has an advantage over Jay Lucas when he's a year behind.
He seemed like he was connecting with Brucey B.
Co-host or Contributor
Is Brucey B going anywhere?
Hell no.
Dan Le Batard
Powwow baby.
Co-host or Contributor
I feel like we're playing the wrong game here. Who's the baseball team going to hire? Tony La Russa.
Dan Le Batard
Oh, Joe Madden.
Listen to me, Chris. I saw something that happened and I didn't want to point it out, but now you've left me no choice because I saw the way that by bringing up a great game, the way that Jeremy just looked at you. You and Jeremy will play your baseball games tonight as we do a live stream from 6:30 to whenever to 8 to 9:30 to whenever. It is that the evening ends or
everything does so when the game ends.
Or live stream. Live stream doesn't seem like the right word.
Look, if there is a big blast off on the horizon, we're going to wrap up the streamer.
It is possible that. It is possible. I know you've thought this. Anyone listening to this has thought this. It is possible simply that the President is dugat. It's just an assortment of lies and threats. None of it means anything. It's just words. Obliterated. He can't even say it right. It's just words. It means nothing. 8pm is just a fictional deadline. But he is armed with all of the power the United States has and that makes it and him scary and dangerous in ways that right now are supremely irresponsible of him. That have no precedent in the history of American government. This lack of. Of decency with. With cavalier wording around human life.
Now the only big blast we're seeing tonight's coming at the bat of Owen Casey in a pinch hit opportunity. Late Dan the maple masher. And it's all brought to you by. Never miss your shot golf. Thank you. Never miss your shot golf. You have provided us a self indulgent playpen and we are so grateful.
Yes.
Co-host or Contributor
Dan forgot what he was setting up.
Dan Le Batard
Perfect. No, I did not forget what I was setting up. It's the sound of you calling Jeremy Joey for reasons that need explanation.
Co-host or Contributor
I know, but tell Joey right, That's
Guest or Contributor
what he was doing. I heard him say Joey and I thought, like, I missed the joke.
Co-host or Contributor
I know, but tell Joey right, that's his friend. The backstory here, one of my best friends, his name is Joey.
Dan Le Batard
Sure it wasn't Jeremy and Tony kind of combining?
I know, but tell Joey right, I like that character. That character Joey left and right instead of Tony.
Like no smack dab in the middle of the spectrum that
how does this happen to you, Chris? You haven't been the same since the sweat started gathering on the starched white collar of the back of your shirt.
Co-host or Contributor
I don't have an excuse. My tongue is heavy. I know, but tell Joey right?
Dan Le Batard
And I wanted to go with it
Co-host or Contributor
because I say right in the clip and I'm like, I know what he said.
Dan Le Batard
We're doing the first of two. Your tongue is heavy. Now we're an hour into this project today, this little projector. You're gonna dress that way and it's gonna hurt.
What?
Yeah. Tonight you're gonna be dressed as the attorney because of how good you look.
Co-host or Contributor
Keep you in a good mood.
Dan Le Batard
I guess you pointing to the camera. Them having the camera on Tony.
Co-host or Contributor
Ready guys.
Dan Le Batard
That that somehow video missed you being your very. Did they? The timing was so bad. And wait till you see what it is tonight. Chris Cody's going to swagger into the studio. Does David Sampson know who it is that you're impersonating? Because I see David Sampson gathering there for his hit in a second. And the character that Chris is playing, Levi. What is his last name?
Co-host or Contributor
Levi McCathern. Yeah.
Dan Le Batard
Let's put this up for David. Put up the photo of Levi McCathern and Chris Cody so that I could set this up for David and just ask him if he would hire this guy as an attorney. Just based on appearance you walk in
Co-host or Contributor
or how much younger do I look?
Dan Le Batard
Well, that too. We will do that as well. But a Naugahyde light blue jacket doesn't give off credibility.
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Episode: Hour 1: Mike, Michael, and Mikey (feat. Brucey B)
Date: April 7, 2026
Location: The Elser Hotel, Downtown Miami
Main Hosts: Dan Le Batard, Stugotz
Featured Contributors: Chris Cody, Tony, Roy, Jeremy, Zaz, others
Special Theme: Shifting dynamics in coaching and the business of sports; sports as escape in turbulent times; the “Mike/Michael/Mikey Malone” phenomenon
In this episode, Dan Le Batard and the crew (with appearances from Stugotz, Brucey B, and others) tackle the latest headlines and quirks in both the sports world and current events. The focus soon zeroes in on Michael Malone's shocking hire as North Carolina basketball coach, exploring the increasing corporate and managerial demands of high-level college coaching, the shifting meaning of prestige in both pro and college ranks, and the absurdity and showmanship that colors both sports and politics. The playful banter is laced with gallows humor about global instability, and the hour is punctuated with memorable moments, running jokes (especially about the "Mike vs. Michael vs. Mikey" identity crisis), and the role of spectacle in sports media.
This episode is emblematic of the show’s ability to toggle between comedy, self-mockery, sports business analysis, and sharp political/cultural satire—often in the span of a single segment. The playful but insightful “Mike/Michael/Mikey Malone” bit runs parallel to thoughtful breakdowns of how NIL, transfer portals, and the ballooning money game are upending the coaching profession. “Is success about being able to carve out a bombastic public persona, or about being an organizational CEO?” is a tacit theme.
With world news threatening to overshadow the “stupid, stupid” distractions of sports, the show reaffirms the value of laughter and camaraderie—while also chronicling how the business of sports, like the rest of society, is being rapidly reorganized and forced to adapt.
(For listeners/readers: This episode is both a keepsake of major sports/culture storylines and a fast-moving, comedy-rich meta-conversation about names, jobs, and the need for escape.)