Hour 1: Perhaps The Middle (feat. Jessica Smetana)

Summary

The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz

Hour 1: Perhaps The Middle (feat. Jessica Smetana)
Date: November 26, 2025
Main Hosts: Dan Le Batard, Stugotz
Featured Contributor: Jessica Smetana

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EPISODE OVERVIEW

Broadcast live from the Elser Hotel in Downtown Miami, this episode captures the show’s signature blend of irreverent humor and deep sports knowledge, veering through college football coaching rumors, rivalry weekend breakdowns, F1 and NBA highlights, and some seriously funny Thanksgiving tangents. Jessica Smetana takes center stage, subbing in for Amin with both an Internet Minute and an F1 Minute, while the crew juggles debates over which football games truly matter this weekend, mock drafts for NFL picks, and even taste test discussions for turkey.

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KEY SEGMENTS & DISCUSSION POINTS

1. NBA Mayhem and “Would You Fight Andre Drummond?”

[01:52–03:21]

• Dan marvels at Orlando Magic’s Anthony Black’s wild stat line: “27 points in 17 minutes…”
• The group laughs over a near-fight involving Andre Drummond:

  “Andre Drummond, as a seven-footer...not someone you want to ever fight.” — Dan [02:33]

• Shoulder hair as an intimidation factor, and the correlation between fouls and fighting.

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2. Lane Kiffin Rumors and College Football Silly Season

[03:21–07:07]

• Jessica and Mike dive into rumors around Lane Kiffin’s possible jump to LSU, including hilarious speculation based on Fortnite chats:

  “‘My source is Knox Kiffin. We played Fortnite yesterday online, and he told me his dad is going to LSU. Don’t send this to chat, please.’” — Mike [04:41]

• Light mocking of the message-board rumor mill and the theater of college coaching drama.
• Jessica notes:

  “…The statement from the AD over at Ole Miss made it seem like he’s for sure leaving, but this is airtight over the last week. Kudos to them.” — Jessica [06:35]

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3. Rivalry Week: College Football Games to Watch

[07:07–15:19]

• Mike and Jessica debate which rivalry games really matter, with the crew ribbing Mike for his “malady” — his obsession with random, less significant matchups (“Olis”).
• Notable Games Discussed: Iron Bowl (Auburn vs. Alabama), Texas A&M vs. Texas, Oregon vs. Washington, Egg Bowl (Mississippi State vs. Ole Miss), plus deep dives into oddball matchups like Western Kentucky vs. Jacksonville State.
• Quote:

  “Western Kentucky, Jacksonville State...Kind of a de facto copy playing game. Clemson, South Carolina...both teams that stink this year but hate each other.” — Mike [09:09]

• Jessica jokes about weather being Pittsburgh’s edge when Miami visits Pitt.

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4. Jessica’s F1 Minute – Or Not

[19:30–20:05]

• Dan tries to get a real F1 Minute, but Mike admits:

  “The race started at 11pm Eastern, so I went to bed, but both McLarens got disqualified.” — Mike [19:30]

• Dan:

  “That’s you mailing it in. And that is just as bad as what Amin did…” [19:57]

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5. The Internet Minute & College Football TV Show Riffs

[21:06–26:03]

• Jessica’s Internet Minute fixates on college football’s on-air talent, with Dan critiquing the show's lack of entertaining spokespeople for playoff discussions:

  “Have the people be something that represents college football better than this guy in a sports coat.” — Dan [21:38]

• Thanksgiving sound file dump-in, including Zion Williamson dodging questions about his favorite side dish:

  “No matter what answer I give, social media gonna clown me.” — Zion (via Jessica) [22:59]

• Eddie George gives a sensual description of his turkey recipe:

  “It’s a 72-hour process… I inject him, you know, with a homemade injectable marinade…” — Eddie George (as recounted) [23:34]

• Sidestrack into whether Eddie George’s dyed goatee undermines his turkey credibility.

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6. ShamWow Guy for Congress & More Absurdity

[25:27–26:01]

• Tangent on the ShamWow guy running for Congress “to end woke-ism.”

  “Apparently the shamwow guy is running for Congress in Texas to end woke-ism.” — Mike [25:39]

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7. NFL “Bucket” Segment: Punishments and Picks

[27:10–31:37]

• Classic segment of randomly drawing NFL teams, agonizing over terrible picks, and joking about each other’s football acumen and superstitions.
• Jessica:

  “I volunteer to pick for you if you need a helping hand.” — Jessica [29:14]

• Spider scare! Zaslow gets genuinely frightened by a spider in the helmet bucket; the group roars with laughter at his visible fear.

  “Are there any more spiders in there? …that was a good move. Yeah, they, that’s a great thing.” — Dan [31:30]

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8. Reflections: Lee Corso’s Honest Retirement

[35:53–37:14]

• The group gets sincere about aging and retirement in sports broadcasting, echoing Lee Corso’s brutally honest admission:

  “‘I hate it. I can’t watch College GameDay… but it sucks.’” — Dan (reading Corso) [36:27]

• Discussion on honoring sports legends while they’re still alive.

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9. Taking College Football’s Professionalization Head-On

[39:17–40:43]

• Jessica and Dan probe the transfer market and coaching carousel impact on teams, arguing that players and coaches following each other aligns with new college football realities:

  “That’s the right move for Oklahoma State…They’re going to have to win inside the margins.” — Jessica [40:08]

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10. NBA: The Art of the Floater and Miami’s Quirky Offense

[40:43–43:32]

• Jeremy Tache shares fascinating NBA stats: Tyler Herro ties a record with 8 “floaters” in a single game; discussion around the Heat’s historically low number of pick and rolls.
• Jessica quips on Bam Adebayo’s statue:

  “If Bam gets a statue outside the arena, it’s going to be that dribble handoff.” [42:50]

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11. Instant Replay: The Spider Prank

[43:43–44:11]

• Replay of Zaslow’s panicked reaction to a spider in the NFL picks bucket.

• “That is the brave Jonathan Zaslow, the face of bravery.” — Dan [44:00]

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MEMORABLE QUOTES

• “Do you have Olis or is it just five?...There are NOT five worth watching this weekend.” — Dan [08:36]
• “I want my employees – corporate times-stealing weasels – to actively not do their job well as an act of defiance.” — Dan [37:40]
• “I don’t like the Browns anymore, but I still hate the Steelers and Ravens. That I can’t shake.” — Jessica [08:29]
• “Don’t send this to chat, please.” — Mike, reading Lane Kiffin Discord rumor [04:41]

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NOTABLE MOMENTS & CALLBACKS

• Jessica’s savage wit on football, food, and more, keeps the pace sharp.
• Zaslow’s spider scare is replayed as the staff’s new favorite prank highlight.
• Dan’s grievances about employees “mailing it in” drive comedic tension after both Amin and Mike flub their “minutes.”
• Eddie George’s turkey recipe borders on the sensual.
• The ShamWow guy is running for Congress. Yes, really.
• Sincere reflection on Lee Corso’s sadness in retirement adds a rare emotional note.

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USEFUL TIMESTAMPS

• NBA mayhem discussion: 01:52–03:21
• Lane Kiffin Discord Rumor: 04:41
• College football rivalry breakdowns: 07:07–15:19
• F1 Minute fail: 19:30–20:05
• Thanksgiving food/side dish fun: 22:33–24:23
• Spider scare (Zaslow): 31:15, replay 43:43–44:11
• Lee Corso quote & retirement: 36:21–37:14

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FINAL THOUGHTS

Rich with banter, sports minutiae, and absurd humor, this episode is classic “Le Batard Show”—a heady mashup of sports insight, media critique, and group therapy through laughter. Jessica Smetana shines filling in for an “absent” Amin, the crew can’t stop ribbing each other about half-hearted efforts, and Zaslow gets haunted by spiders in what might be the episode’s most enduring memory.

If you’re after sports, culture, weirdness, and actual sincere moments, this episode serves it all—sometimes all at once.

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Transcript

[Chris]

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[Dan LeBatard]

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[Chris]

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[Dan LeBatard]

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[Chris]

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[Dan LeBatard]

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[Jessica]

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[Dan LeBatard]

So somebody named Anthony Black for the Orlando Magic last night scored 27 points in 17 minutes as part of an 84 point first half for the Orlando Magic on the road at Philadelphia. Such a pathetic performance. 27 points in 17 minutes midway through the third quarter.

[Chris]

It was like 111 to 70 or something.

[Dan LeBatard]

Luka went crazy last night. The Lakers are good. Luka is fun to watch. And Andre Drummond squared up legitimately on somebody at seven. Yeah, but. But squared up like wanted did old Timey. You know I can't because I got my hand in the dirt. He did bare knuckle fighting. Old timey, I think, like, he was legitimately ready to fight.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Dan LeBatard]

And Andre Drummond, as a seven footer. Seven footer graded offensive rebounding is just generally someone I don't want to fight. Would you say that as a. As a characteristic? If I say someone is 7ft tall and they're good at offensive rebounding, that's not someone you want. Yeah, but to ever fight.

[Chris]

Wendell Carter wasn't scared. He didn't even back up. Wendell Car was like, what do you do? Is that the NBA stat you'd associate with is offensive rebounding and fighting? Like, it's not even that. Is there another stat?

[Jessica]

He could be five. Five with that shoulder hair. A lot of shoulder hair.

[Chris]

I would argue on the shoulder. Fouls per game. If you have, like, a lot of fouls per game, you're someone I don't want to know.

[Jessica]

But, Dan, to dance point off, it's rebound. You got to throw a chicken wing at somebody. You got to throw an elbow. You got to throw a knee low.

[Chris]

If you lead the league in fouls, though, I don't want to fight you.

[Jessica]

Although bringing down offensive boards is easier because people are trying to avoid that shoulder hair. It's disgusting.

[Dan LeBatard]

Not everyone is mailing it in this week. Okay. Because Jessica is bringing her a game here. Amin embarrassed himself yesterday with those weekend observations. Jessica's covering for him by doing not just an Internet minute today, but an F1 minute. But I need your help here, Jessica, because I don't want you to blow a gasket, a tire, or anything. If we do F1, should we do that at the end or the beginning? Because there's a degree of difficulty on that lift that it may make either the rest of the segment harder or might be harder to do at the end of the segment, perhaps the middle. Okay, so we will start with LSU and the laugh out loud that's happening around what could be Mississippi State winning at home in the Egg bowl on Friday. And people are writing, lane better win. And I'm looking at, like, what does this affect Lane at all? Lane could not show up. Lane could not show up for the game. And he doesn't need to win because his next job is going to be a great one, even though he's 13 and 25 against ranked teams.

[Mike]

Did you see the message board geniuses post, Dan? That was allegedly a hint about his next stop from one of Knox Kiffin's friends via Fortnite.

[Dan LeBatard]

Is that credible? Because I'd be willing credible Me, I believe I'd be willing to believe something on Fortnite that. That Lane Kiffin's kids would break this story for an insider. I believe that.

[Mike]

So this is shout out to message board geniuses who comb through all the message boards and post the funniest and most unhinged things every. Every day. But this is from the Florida247- Message Board. And it's a message. It's a screenshot from a Discord Channel from someone named Shay, and it says, my source is Knox Kiffin. We played Fortnite yesterday online, and he told me his dad is going to lsu. Don't send this to chat, please.

[Chris]

Yeah, see, that's the part that gets me. That's why I think it's real. Because if it wasn't real, they would put. Don't send this to the chat. It would be like, you want it everywhere. So that. That makes me believe it's real.

[Dan LeBatard]

You guys saying Zazzle already reported this? Who. Who else is. You reported it first. Who's. Who's going to get credit for breaking this story when it's. When it's him, obviously. To lsu.

[Mike]

Can I just say, I don't even care, man. Like, there's been too much Lane Kiffin content the last few weeks. Let's just ride it out and see what happens. I can't speculate any further.

[Chris]

I mean, I'm. I'm in Norman this weekend for lsu. Oklahoma Egg bowl is the night before. I'm hoping Lane Kibbins on the sidelines. LSU this weekend. I'm almost like WWE style, where he just shows up.

[Dan LeBatard]

Oh, my God. That's Lauren Griffin's music.

[Mike]

That would be great. Honestly, I'm so excited. This week is going to be so great, Dan. There's so many great rivalry games this weekend. If I had to make a top five, I don't even know if I could.

[Dan LeBatard]

Top five. Mike Ryan is whispering as you're talking in my ear about how Lane's camp has gone silent because, yeah, I've been on this beat.

[Jessica]

A decision was made on Friday, and I know that Ole Miss and Florida are doing their best to do what LSU did to hijack this whole thing, but not a peep since Friday.

[Dan LeBatard]

Has he.

[Mike]

He hasn't posted any Tumblr quotes either, right? I haven't seen any, no.

[Jessica]

But have you seen his press conferences? Dude's dealing with this about as well as anybody could. Who.

[Dan LeBatard]

Who is reporting that he'll stay at Ole Miss? Who's reporting that he might go to Florida?

[Chris]

No, One's reporting that Ole miss.

[Jessica]

No Brett McMurphy like they put. He put out his own graphic and Brett is really dialed on this stuff and he predict where he'll say. Now there's a lot of people that are really plugged in, Kirk. Herb street probably knows more about the sport and like the inner workings of it than anybody, but he just doesn't come out and report that stuff. He put lsu. From what I was hearing last week before everyone buttoned it up tight, I'm pretty sure LSU hijacked this thing. The statement from the AD over at Ole Miss made it seem like he's for sure leaving, but this is airtight over the last week. Kudos to them.

[Dan LeBatard]

Uh, let's get to her top five. There are five games this weekend, five rivalry weekend games worthy of our attention.

[Mike]

No, there's like 25 to 30, I would say, but I'm not putting just the ones with playoff implications in my list.

[Chris]

For example, number one isn't Miami Pit.

[Mike]

No, I'm actually excited to watch that. Like, look, I thought Pitt was better defensively than I expected. I'm not surprised that they crushed Georgia Tech last week because Georgia Tech's been. Defense has been a problem all year. Like we talked about a few weeks ago with Cash Patel. I don't. I still don't know why he was on the show. But I'm. I'm curious about. Especially because, like, Mike, as you know, Miami hasn't played a lot of true road games this year, and it's going to be really freaking cold in Pittsburgh on Saturday for the noon kickoff. It's going to be like 30 degrees.

[Dan LeBatard]

Oh, that's the part she's liking as a Pittsburgh person. She's like, oh, when the. When the warm weather people come, they don't like it so much.

[Jessica]

I'm going to Pittsburgh. I'm going.

[Mike]

Oh, my God.

[Jessica]

First time in my life I've never been to that crap. Down.

[Mike]

Well, text me if you need any recommendations. I had the best flats of my life at William Penn Tavern last weekend. I ate probably 40 of them. They were so good.

[Chris]

Those bridges are delight. That sounds underrated.

[Dan LeBatard]

No, Mike, where the three rivers, Mike, it's pretty. You're wrong when you say that's a crap.

[Jessica]

That's just an old Brown.

[Dan LeBatard]

That is.

[Mike]

Yeah, I'm not offended. AFC north crap talk, Dan. You wouldn't get it.

[Jessica]

Yeah, I, you know, I don't like the Browns anymore, but I still hate the Steelers and Ravens. That. I can't shake that.

[Dan LeBatard]

Do you have Oli. Or is it just five? You're 30 games. They're not. They're not. They're NOT five worth watching this weekend. Five.

[Mike]

That's. I mean.

[Jessica]

Wow.

[Mike]

Child learn ball. Quiet piggy. Okay, let's start with Olis. I'll give you three O lies. The Oregon State, Washington State rematch.

[Dan LeBatard]

Come on. That doesn't count. That doesn't count. Yeah.

[Chris]

Canes fans are watching that game. Canes fans need a big, big W.

[Jessica]

By the home team. Game.

[Mike]

Western Kentucky, Jacksonville State. Kind of a de facto copy playing game. Clemson, South Carolina. Both teams that stink this year but hate each other. So that's always fun when there's like nothing on the line except pride.

[Dan LeBatard]

Look, you need to be diagnosed with a malady. Come on. Come on.

[Mike]

What malady? Actually, I'm getting over a cold right now. I don't know if I.

[Dan LeBatard]

Something.

[Chris]

I know what that is.

[Dan LeBatard]

You someone. This is sickness. What you just said there. Yes, that's. All right. Five.

[Mike]

Wait, can I give you two more olives? Boston College, Syracuse. Dan.

[Chris]

Okay.

[Mike]

Sneaky rivalry. They played each other a lot of times, like 70 times. And there is a doomsday ACC tiebreaker scenario where this game matters to the winning percentage of conference opponents. I believe so. Make that with a grain of salt.

[Chris]

Make me watch that.

[Jessica]

For those that don't know, this is the second time Washington State and Oregon State are playing this season. There's a team going for a sweet.

[Chris]

What?

[Jessica]

Yes, that's What's.

[Mike]

That's why it's why it's an Oli. It's the Pac12 championship. I guess Paul Bunyan's axes this weekend. Dan. Kentucky, Louisville. Two more teams that stink that are playing against each other. Okay, I'll just give you.

[Chris]

Did you say Louisville stinks?

[Dan LeBatard]

Louisville does not stink.

[Chris]

They don't stink. They only have four losses.

[Jessica]

I mean, contextualize it. They've lost both Browns. They lost Miller, Moss. Like they're a shell of what they want.

[Mike]

Yeah, they're. They're pretty hurt coming into this game.

[Jessica]

So I appreciate just following the sport. Unlike Jeremy.

[Mike]

Yeah, they have a lot of injuries. I'll give you a top five. These are all going to be lame. Like, oh, playoff. The team that is favored wins this big. Playoff.

[Chris]

Olis are better in this list.

[Mike]

Yeah, because I like watching just the nastiest you've ever seen because you've got a malady.

[Dan LeBatard]

That's what I'd call the malady. Watch.

[Chris]

It's your list, so why wouldn't you have put the other ones you like.

[Dan LeBatard]

In the number five.

[Mike]

Let our guest speak because it's for the audience, too. Chris. Okay, I'm not going to go into details about Western Kentucky and Maverick McIver getting hurt earlier this season to give you a reason to turn on ESPN plus to watch them play Jacksonville State, but I will give you number five, the Iron Bowl. I don't know what this sound. Is this a foghorn?

[Jessica]

Foghorn. It's a fanfare.

[Mike]

I can't hear it.

[Jessica]

This game is huge. Auburn's kept big spreads tight in the. In the Iron bowl the last few weeks, last few seasons, and this is the smallest this spread has been. And you got a head coach that still thinks he's got an outside shot at getting the job. He's doing funky things with the quarterback over there. This one's tight. Five and a half point spread, huge CFP impact.

[Dan LeBatard]

Mike, excellent work by you. In the gap there where Chris Cody, who's mailing it in this week and has forgotten that Jessica needs the fanfare in order to know that she's nailed the joke. She's waiting for the fanfare without the fanfare. She is doing the same comedy that Rich Davis is doing with Sock Puppet on. On. On espn.

[Jessica]

I was taken today seriously at work, but it seems as though the whole narrative around it being an off day.

[Dan LeBatard]

Farting turkey, number four.

[Mike]

Okay, number four. We'll. We'll go with Texas A and M. Texas winning in for Texas A and M in the SEC championship game. Same goes for Alabama in the Iron Bo. There's a lot of road favorites this week. I will add. That's something maybe to keep an eye on. But look, I think Texas is not a bad football team. They've played in some terrible games. I think the Kentucky point was the low point of the season and since then they've gotten steadily better. But Texas A and M, aside from the first half against South Carolina, has just been really solid this year. I believe the point spread right now is Texas A and M is like a 2 1/2 point favorite on the road at Texas. But would be a huge bummer for Texas to stumble right before conference championship weekend against Texas, who they of course played for a very long time before they joined the SEC and then didn't play for like 14 years and now play again.

[Jessica]

Texas A&M's kind of had an interesting schedule inside of the SEC. There's a lot of ranked teams in that conference, but you know, Mizzou is like the. The toughest test Texas A and M has has face like they they've kind of avoided like the teeth.

[Dan LeBatard]

It would not, it would not be surprising to anybody if Texas beats Texas A and M based only on the fact that before this season started, if I anybody listening? Hey, who do you think has the better athletes? Your answer would be Texas. Like it's.

[Mike]

I mean I, I don't agree. I think honestly Casey Concepcion and Mario Craver in the portal are probably the two best portal additions that any team made on offense. They both are top five in the SEC in receiving yards this year and they're on the same team. Cassius Howell I saw got named to a awards list yesterday. He leads the SEC in sacks. He's got 11 and a half sacks. Texas's star defensive player has 10 sacks, so he's right behind him. But I think Texas A and M is good. And Mike, you can only play the teams on your schedule. As you know, the conferences are too big so we'll just obligatory conferences are too big.

[Chris]

Right?

[Dan LeBatard]

Number three.

[Mike]

Number three. We'll go with sneaky. Sneaky. Good one. Oregon. Washington. I don't feel like enough people are talking about the fact that this game could ruin Oregon's playoff hopes. They're a six and a half point favorite. I believe it is on the Road 3:30 on CBS Saturday. This these teams have played each other over a hundred times. They are our rivals, of course, but Washington has lost a couple of brutal games like games that just make you lose your faith in humanity. However, based on like the advanced analytics, they're only like 17th in FEI, which is pretty good. So Oregon not, not a huge favorite in this game and like I said could completely upend the Big Ten postse season for them if they do lose. So that's going to be a very interesting one for Oregon especially coming off of like an emotional win against USC last weekend which by the way, I hope we have time to talk about USC's game notes that were going viral from that game.

[Dan LeBatard]

I can't talk about all the things that she wants to talk about. Number two.

[Mike]

Vanderbilt. Tennessee. Oh, there they are. Dan.

[Dan LeBatard]

Number one.

[Mike]

Dan, when you were covering Miami, I'm sure you had to read game notes all the time. I don't know if anyone Jeremy's probably Jeremy's game notes.

[Dan LeBatard]

Game notes.

[Mike]

A lot of you probably read them when they were like on typewriters. But anyways, if you want to get get a kick out of something, these are like it goes unnecessary shots.

[Dan LeBatard]

They were not on top right. I think they were microfiche.

[Mike]

If you, if you scroll down it's like what you would say if you were like a message board poster about like what USC needs to do to win this game instead of just being like, here's the head to head results against Oregon. It's just like they said we weren't gritty enough, they said we weren't tough enough, they said we couldn't compete with real Big Ten football. Did they see the final score? And then it's like beating Iowa was a culture win. It's like I've never seen this in game notes before, so it's been very funny.

[Jessica]

Everything they said was absolutely right. It's the holidays and the 50th anniversary of Miller Life. The holidays are all about gathering around with family and friends. So why don't you bring out a cornucopia of that beautiful white canned Miller Light or draft. Whatever it is. You know it's going to be a special time when you bring out Miller Lite because Miller Lite makes special time. Miller Time. Whether it's a late night hang after the holiday party or standing around a fire pit with a fan, Miller Lite just fits. It's a taste you know you can depend on. Brewed for flavor with simple ingredients like malted barley, rich balanced toffee notes, and that iconic golden color. And at 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces, it lets you enjoy the season without weighing you down. The original light beer since 1975 and still hitting different 50 years later. The best holiday beers are the ones you don't expect. Miller Lite great taste. 96 calories. Go to millerlight.com dan to find delivery options near you or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. Tis Miller time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Co. Milwaukee, Wisconsin 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.

[Chris]

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[Jessica]

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[Dan LeBatard]

Don LeBatard.

[Chris]

I don't like smelly, either.

[Jessica]

Stugats.

[Dan LeBatard]

Women stay home in the kitchen where they belong. This is the Don Levatar show with the stugats. Are you ready to do your f. One minute before number one. This is the middle spot.

[Mike]

Fine. Let's do it. I'm not phoning it in this week. The race started at 11pm Eastern, so I went to bed, but both McLarens got disqualified.

[Dan LeBatard]

That's it. So that's not you phoning it in. That's you mailing it in. And that is just as bad as.

[Mike]

What I'm faxing it in.

[Dan LeBatard]

What a mean did. Yeah, microfiching it in the Internet minute's.

[Chris]

Got to be better than that.

[Dan LeBatard]

What is number one? Not ready for the Internet minute yet. She still wants to talk college football.

[Mike]

Wait, she's not even gonna let me number one, the egg bowl. It's always stupid. Something stupid's gonna happen.

[Dan LeBatard]

But, I mean, no Michigan, Ohio State, no Miami, Pittsburgh kind of list.

[Mike]

Is this okay? But Oli, the game. I. I think it would be shocking to me if Michigan lost, but not.

[Dan LeBatard]

That shocking because if Michigan won.

[Mike]

If Michigan won. I mean, because as we know, like, this is just.

[Chris]

Ryan, you didn't more shock last year.

[Dan LeBatard]

Jeremy has got. Jeremy's the only person I hear predicting. No, it's going to happen to Ohio State going to win no matter how ridiculous you think that is. Look there we can agree that it's total chaos if that happens.

[Chris]

If that Miami will get in state.

[Dan LeBatard]

If Mississippi State beats Mississippi enough.

[Jessica]

Jeremy like yes, it would be really bad for Miami beat.

[Chris]

Time to get in it. It's Jessica's Internet minute.

[Mike]

People are saying six, seven now.

[Jessica]

I don't know.

[Dan LeBatard]

That is not fair what you guys have done to me that you mail it in in a way that is pre planned. It's disrespectful. You tell us what are your thoughts on everything that happened there including that wet sock calling Rhys Davis rich at the end of it.

[Mike]

Why are you calling him a wet sock?

[Jessica]

Because that guy sucks.

[Dan LeBatard]

Six As a spokesman. Look man, if you're going to make it a made for television absurdity where the judges are on TV announcing why they're making their like have the people be entertaining talented at television. 6, 7 He took a stab at entertainment like have the people be something that represents college football better than this guy in a sports code.

[Mike]

I think he was absolutely spot on in all of his analysis on Tuesday night. So I think he did a great job. I think this joke was hilariously delivered and I got a kick out of it. 6 Dan, we're talking about it now. The entertainment television program. Guess what? Talk of the Town Wednesday morning.

[Dan LeBatard]

Six, seven. Let's wish Jessica Thanksgiving here by emptying the file of Thanksgiving sounds here so that she can enjoy her holidays however it is that she chooses to spend them. What do you have for us in the way of emptying the Thanksgiving file here and wishing the audience a happy Thanksgiving?

[Chris]

I have Zion Williamson being asked his favorite side dish.

[Dan LeBatard]

Happy Thanksgiving.

[Jessica]

You get to go home tonight and.

[Mike]

Then leave tomorrow evening. Give us a little glimpse into what Zion Williamson's Thanksgiving looks like.

[Dan LeBatard]

Just spending some time with my mom, stepdad, my friends, little brother, older brother and get on the plane and going to Memphis.

[Mike]

What's your favorite dish, what you're looking.

[Jessica]

Forward to eating the most?

[Dan LeBatard]

He tried to set me up. No matter what answer I give, social media gonna clown me.

[Jessica]

So no comment. I'm sorry.

[Mike]

You know what makes me sad?

[Dan LeBatard]

Yeah, it is sad. It's a poor choice by you.

[Mike]

Speaking of Memphis Navy Memphis on Thanksgiving. Another one. American Conference implications of Navy wins that game. Although they would need some help to get into the conference championship game. Dan, I hear, I heard a wonderful, beautiful clip of action head coach legend Eddie George talking about his turkey. It was, I would say, quite Sensual. If you want to listen to that.

[Jessica]

Next I deep fry my turkeys done with the same oil for the last five years. So it's full of seasoning.

[Dan LeBatard]

It has the perfect seasoning, perfect everything with it.

[Jessica]

And it's a 72 hour process. Okay. Where it goes into a brine that's homemade, then sits in that brine for about two days and then I take him out. Then I inject him, you know, with a homemade injectable marinade. And then it sits for another 24 hours wrapped in the refrigerator. And all the.

[Dan LeBatard]

The marinade is getting into the joints.

[Jessica]

The juices is really getting into the. The breast and the thigh and so forth. And then I take it out that morning on Thanksgiving and I dip it.

[Dan LeBatard]

It in the in hot oil and then it's.

[Jessica]

And then it's delicious. And it's going just like that, you know, I mean I can cut it with a plastic butter knife. Is so tender.

[Dan LeBatard]

Mama, did you say that to everyone or just in your ear? Okay, thank you, Chris. I appreciate that clip. He said I'm hard is what he said in my ear. And I thought he said that on air. None of it is helpful to me. And as this is happening, it did.

[Jessica]

Sound pretty good almost.

[Mike]

Can you isolate breast and side?

[Jessica]

That was pretty good. That was so good that I almost forgot how terrified that guy was.

[Chris]

I want to put music under like sensual music underneath.

[Dan LeBatard]

Let's do that before the end of the segment.

[Mike]

Find he kind of like smacks his lips at one point too.

[Dan LeBatard]

Yeah, well, he made all our mouths water. But also during that Mike Ryan accused Eddie George and Mike Ryan's the leading authority throughout the country reporting on these things of dyeing his goatee.

[Jessica]

He did. You can see it.

[Dan LeBatard]

Yeah, you see like so does that. Does he lose? Yeah, he loses points with his sensuality. Less credible if he's dying his goatee. Correct. Less authentic.

[Jessica]

I mean the goatee looks good. You know, it's okay. There's certain people that make it work and he's making it work right now and he can talk to me about turkey any day of the week.

[Dan LeBatard]

Before you go, I would have assumed that your Internet minute would have been on either the Campbell's Soup CEO or the ShamWow guy. I would have thought that those would have qualified for Internet minutes.

[Mike]

Apparently the shamwow guy is running for Congress in Texas to end woke his up them.

[Dan LeBatard]

He'S got my vote.

[Jessica]

God.

[Mike]

Have you seen Macro is sleeping. Holy. Was that a delayed reaction?

[Jessica]

I thought you had more on it. I was going to let. I was going to lay out for you. I didn't know if you had more. Have you seen this? The ShamWow guy.

[Mike]

Patriot just like us.

[Dan LeBatard]

See you later, Jessica. Happy Thanksgiving. Good seeing you. Check out her weekly Notre Dame podcast, the Echoes with Mike Golick Jr. This is not, not, not an echo chat.

[Mike]

Real podcast.

[Dan LeBatard]

She's being. Oh, there it is. She's being awfully gentle about Notre Dame being ranked in perception better than Miami. It's gotta be a little bit annoying for her and Lucy to hear all of your Miami talk. That helped run them out of Miami because you talk about Miami so obnoxiously.

[Jessica]

If you've listened to this show. I haven't once caped up for Miami.

[Dan LeBatard]

You haven't? What you did to Washuzin was disrespectful.

[Jessica]

Right, but we were just talking about a broadcast. But I haven't done a CFP ranking discussion today. I'll do that on Kane's Insight with D Money and Peter Ruiz. Today live at 1:00pm Gary Furman.

[Mike]

Not a real podcast.

[Dan LeBatard]

Gary Fuhrman, local legend. Yes or no? Gary Fuhrman says love.

[Jessica]

No.

[Chris]

You can't say that. John Gruden putting together a staff.

[Dan LeBatard]

Oh, he reported that wrong. That's a good callback. Jessica. You're gonna play. You're gonna do the bucket with us here. You're gonna. You're gonna suffer. Yeah. Go ahead, Jeremy. What do you got? You got the Colts.

[Jessica]

I got the Colts hosting the Houston Texans.

[Chris]

That defense is stingy. Let me remind everyone the bucket is presented by Dentex Ultimate Fantasy football punishment. Learn more and sign your lead league.

[Dan LeBatard]

[e-mail] Dominique Foxworth says that the Colts have a quarterback problem. A quarterback problem?

[Jessica]

What does he know? Dave Danishek convinced me the Texans are gonna win. I'm putting it back.

[Dan LeBatard]

The Colts are 4 1/2 point favorite at home. I know. You're crazy. That's a good favorite.

[Jessica]

I know it is.

[Chris]

Shit. I got the Saints.

[Jessica]

Nice.

[Dan LeBatard]

I'm sorry.

[Chris]

At Dolphins.

[Jessica]

At the Dolphins.

[Dan LeBatard]

So the Saints are a six and a half point dog on the road. They're terrible.

[Chris]

Even though the Dolphins are favored by six.

[Jessica]

Keep shucking it.

[Chris]

Six and a half against anybody.

[Dan LeBatard]

They're terrible. Go ahead, Mike.

[Jessica]

There's a very short reaper this week. Yeah. Cincinnati Bengals. Do I get Joe back?

[Dan LeBatard]

You do. You get Joe back? And Chase. And they're at Baltimore.

[Jessica]

No T. Higgins, though.

[Dan LeBatard]

That's a 7.5 point dog.

[Chris]

I like to call this game the Tryptophan game, where's your mouthpiece?

[Jessica]

All right. Oh, I'm not crazy about it, but Packers.

[Dan LeBatard]

Packers.

[Jessica]

Jack White concert Lions.

[Dan LeBatard]

Lions are two and a half point favorite. Big games as big game or not a big game. Packers, Lions, big gamer. Not a big game. Thanksgiving, big gamer. NFC North. That's a big game. That is big game.

[Jessica]

All right, here we go. My first pick. I got the Tennessee Titans playing a little bit better. Playing a little better. Playing the Jags.

[Dan LeBatard]

You want them?

[Jessica]

Good team.

[Dan LeBatard]

They're a six and a half point dog at home. Jessica, think about who you want to pick for you. Please. You want football talk?

[Jessica]

Tony, buddy. Do I watch football?

[Dan LeBatard]

I'm Josh. That's why I put it back. No one's ever said Titans are playing better.

[Jessica]

She said that, not me. Jessica, for the record, I volunteer to pick for you if you need a helping hand.

[Dan LeBatard]

Same.

[Jessica]

I got the Seattle Seahawks, who play the Minnesota Vikings. Ten and a half point favorites. They're gonna beat that ass.

[Dan LeBatard]

Who's Minnesota's starting quarterback this week?

[Jessica]

He sucks.

[Dan LeBatard]

Who is it, though? It's not Wentz. So who is it?

[Mike]

It's Brosmer, isn't it? The Minnesota rookie.

[Dan LeBatard]

Oh, so does any. I don't know who's starting for the Vikings at quarterback?

[Jessica]

Doesn't matter. Might as well be Max Flyer for Thanksgiving.

[Mike]

I just told you.

[Chris]

Jess, you want me to pick for you?

[Mike]

Yes.

[Chris]

All right. I'm picking for Jess right here. This is Jess. First pull, Falcons. Sorry about that. You're actually a favorite at the Jets. Two and a half point favorite.

[Mike]

Yucky. No.

[Chris]

Okay, putting it back. Little rummage here for Jesse. Go to the bottom here. The Titans. Wow. I'm really sorry.

[Jessica]

Yes.

[Dan LeBatard]

Hell, yeah. I'm so sorry.

[Jessica]

Yeah.

[Chris]

Tony thinks I've been.

[Mike]

Oh, but they're playing better.

[Jessica]

I'm so psyched about this. Really? I want you to lose so bad.

[Chris]

Here, let me do my pick.

[Mike]

Now what did I do?

[Jessica]

You know what you do.

[Chris]

The Raiders.

[Jessica]

Wow.

[Chris]

I am just picking awful helmets.

[Mike]

I'm gonna give you terrible Pittsburgh recommendations.

[Dan LeBatard]

Raiders at the Chargers. A nine and a half dog.

[Mike]

I know a valet who you should give your car to.

[Chris]

These three helmets.

[Jessica]

Helmets.

[Chris]

I've picked like.

[Jessica]

Let's see.

[Chris]

If I. If I get the jets here, it'll be an all time bad four helmets. The Raiders again. Wow. This is just awful.

[Dan LeBatard]

Yeah. You helped no one.

[Chris]

Wow. I've had a terrible year at the bucket. Worst ever. They're saying he owes three punishments. Still, it's about to be four.

[Jessica]

Yeah.

[Dan LeBatard]

You're cursed.

[Jessica]

Yep.

[Chris]

Next week I'LL sing the national anthem before show Jessica.

[Dan LeBatard]

Just so that we're clear on the disrespect. I thought you were asking us if the person's name was. Was Bronson. I still don't know what the. Max, what is his name?

[Mike]

Brosmer.

[Dan LeBatard]

Brosmer. Okay. I thought you were asking. I didn't know you were telling us.

[Mike]

No, it's okay.

[Jessica]

She speaks with authority.

[Dan LeBatard]

Oh my God. What happened? There's a spider in there. They Bronson with a spider in there. What a great guy. Please tell me. Please tell me they had a video of that. Please tell me that we can show people how scared we really got of that.

[Jessica]

Great.

[Dan LeBatard]

Oh my God. I hope the video caught that because that's legitimate fear from Zaslow. I'm sorry they did that to you. Are there any more spiders in there? Reaper. Reaper, despite your lack of size, that was a good move. Yeah, they that's a great thing.

[Chris]

So too we're working on the instant replay.

[Dan LeBatard]

Zaslow, what did you get there? I got the Bears. Wow, we really scared him.

[Jessica]

Eagles. The Bears Black Friday game. Wow.

[Chris]

The rare time he got a win with the Bears last week but now put you back. I love the Bears covered up.

[Dan LeBatard]

I got the Jaguars.

[Jessica]

Nice jags 60 point favorite at Titans are playing better.

[Dan LeBatard]

Yes. Mike keeps saying that. Jessica, Happy Thanksgiving.

[Jessica]

Thank you.

[Dan LeBatard]

I'm golden helmet. So I got one more golden helmet. Good seeing you, Jessica. I don't like a trick.

[Chris]

Hey everyone, it's Jeremy here and I want to talk to you about Black Friday game day because Black Friday game day is coming to prime with an epic day of live sports. Black Friday football is back with the Chicago Bears taking on the Philadelphia Eagles at 3pm Eastern. That's followed by an Emirates NBA cup double header. Bucs Knicks at 7pm and Mavs Lakers at 10pm and the whole day starts with the Capital One skins game as four elite PGA golfers meet with $4 million on the line. Black Friday game day. The Capital One skins game at 9am Bears Eagles NFL action at 3pm and the final night of Emirates NBA cup group play with bucks Nicks at 77 and Mavs Lakers at 10. Only on prime.

[Mike]

On Fox One you can stream your favorite live sports so you're there for the biggest moments as they happen. For me, I cannot deal with spoilers so I need to see it live. Especially on college football Saturdays and NFL Sundays with Fox 1, you get it all. Nascar, the MLB postseason edge of your seat plays. Jaw dropping moments and that rush like you're right there. In the action Action sports are meant to be watched live and you can do that with Fox one. Fox one we live for live streaming.

[Dan LeBatard]

Now with Black Friday savings at the Home Depot. You can get up to $1,400 off plus get free delivery on select appliances like LG, America's most reliable line of appliances. Check out the newest LG refrigerator with new mini craft ice straight from the dispenser shop. Black Friday savings on select LG appliances Appliances plus get free delivery now at the Home Depot. Free delivery on appliance purchases of $396 or more offer valid11.5 through12.3 US OLEC store online for details Don LeBatard I.

[Mike]

Don'T think I ever got that many roses in my whole life.

[Jessica]

Stugats. Certainly not from your lovely grandfather, God.

[Mike]

May his soul rest in peace.

[Dan LeBatard]

This is the Don Levatar show with the Stugach. That was a good trick. Zaslow. That's as scared as I I felt the energy of his fear. That was not bit Look, I did not know until today's show that that Zazlow is legitimately afraid of spiders. The Zaslow Show 2.0 no, the no the is available now wherever it is you get your podcasts and he has said that you cannot text him or or in any way contact him through social media with a spider or he will block you. He's an affable person, but that is his line. It's because he legitimately fears the spider. I was shown before the show something some quotes. I saw some good quotes in a couple of different stories that I reacted to differently. One was seeing the way Tim Kuhn, who's still doing excellent writing for espn, wrote about Bill Belichick. Belichick wrote about Bill Belichick in North Carolina long form. But also I saw some quotes from Lee Corso and it made me sad for Lee Corso because he kind of misses game day and I understand everything at the end. He got such a great sendoff. I was thinking to myself it felt a bit like Ozzy Osbourne's sendoff, where he gets the celebration at the end of his career. And how lovely that we would be able to eulogize somebody while they're still with us, allow them the grace of aging on television, and send him off with a goodbye that made both networks stop and genuflect both of them in honor of what a mascot and voice he's been. But I haven't heard this sound. I've just read the quote so plainly. Corso talking about now being away from college game day, what has this season been like? Because it's the first one out of college football for you in what's probably felt like forever. What has it been like for you? I hate it. I can't watch college game day. I mean, I just kind of can't get used to it. I'm not working anymore. I used to fly all over, but it sucks.

[Jessica]

That made me sad. And why are you smiling?

[Chris]

Do you understand how emotions are work?

[Dan LeBatard]

I hate it. It sucks. Was not the answer I was expecting.

[Chris]

Because that's kind of like he's out. It looks like he's outside of a restaurant, just a news guy. It's just kind of like a fun like, hey, how's it going in retirement? He's just like a brutally honest of like.

[Dan LeBatard]

Yeah, he's in a parking lot. Well, look, look. Bobby Bowden said famously once upon a time, I don't want to retire. There's only one event after retirement where your friends gather for you anymore and you're not alive to see see it.

[Chris]

Why can't he throw a party?

[Dan LeBatard]

That's uncommonly honest. I feel I. I've wanted over the course of today's show, this is what I've wanted to do. I've wanted before the end of the season to do an honest University of Miami broadcast like the one Mike wants. So it's not Bob Wash using, but it's our show just during a game.

[Jessica]

Now you're talking.

[Dan LeBatard]

And also you wanted a mean as.

[Chris]

The turkey of the day.

[Dan LeBatard]

I want Amina's turkey.

[Chris]

There you go.

[Dan LeBatard]

Month turkey of the month. Although just graphic Jessica my based on that F1. That F1 minute moment.

[Jessica]

No, you had it right. F1 moment.

[Dan LeBatard]

And her Internet moment as well. Not her Internet.

[Chris]

You like that when we did that?

[Dan LeBatard]

Well, no, I did not like. No, no, I don't like my employees.

[Chris]

Set it up all show. I'm like, I mean just going to try.

[Dan LeBatard]

Yeah, it stunk. I don't like the employees corporate times stealing weasels to actively not do their job well as an act of defiance. Yo, we'll show you and the audience we won't try even more. Amin embarrassed himself yesterday. And I think that should be punitive. I think something should happen to him based on what it is that he did. But then Jessica comes in and does the very same thing. Like, why promise me an F1 minute if that's what you're going to do. She wanted so badly to talk about Texas A and M and Texas and that's an interesting one this weekend like.

[Jessica]

Of all of them I don't trust this committee. If Texas wins this guy game they.

[Chris]

Can'T jump all the way into the picture.

[Jessica]

I don't trust go from 16 to 10. Hey you guys want three losses? You guys want some information?

[Dan LeBatard]

Oh what I happen to know. Yeah, you have a happen to know.

[Chris]

He happens to know. Great Scott. He happens to know. He happens to know Gather everyone get the children. He happens to know so wise it's.

[Jessica]

Funny every time Florida was going down to the wire with this one battling but I think the crushing realization that they are not going to get the guy they thought they were going to get for months on end that's finally lapped upon their shores. I think they're pivoting. Jed Fish right now is a desired candidate.

[Chris]

I mentioned Jed Fish on ESPN too like a month and a half ago.

[Jessica]

By the AD but the boosters have some other plan.

[Chris]

Is it dabo clock?

[Jessica]

I think you're going to see a lot of big time names. The boosters want sizzle because they missed out on Lane Kiffin. I don't think Jet Fish though I believe him to be a good coach. Liked him down here in Miami when he was here. That's not going to please these boosters.

[Dan LeBatard]

I meant to ask Jessica and I failed to do it. If anyone in our audience has any objection as the professionalization of college football makes it more and more the second biggest sports business that there is in America that when Mike Gundy gets blown out at one of these lower tier jobs that's still a decent job that the way that Oklahoma State very quickly tries to snap its fingers and fix. Okay, let's get that Mike Gundy stink off of us is let's just get North Texas's quarterback and North Texas coach they seem good at offense over there. Can we make it a slightly better thing here by just grabbing the smaller programs coach and quarterback. Some people listening to this are made uncomfortable by that as just a transaction.

[Jessica]

Not I mean it follows logic. The the quarterback stuff isn't out there but I expect the quarterback to follow the head coach. I also expect the happens to know DC to to follow and that's the right move for Oklahoma State. They don't have t boom Pickens around anymore. They're going to have to win inside the margins. Get one of these guys that is going to use them to launch pad themselves and do a bigger job. That's a reality for Oklahoma State. It's not a reality that was there for them at the Turn of the century for several years when they had a huge power broker in the sport. T boom Pickens goes away. They're kind of outgunned. So this is a great hire for them.

[Dan LeBatard]

Jamal Hill is going to join us here in a little bit. Jeremy Tachet is under the best of circumstances. His Heat analysis can be both very informative and too much to handle. So Jeremy Tasche wanted everyone to know that Tyler Herro in his last game where he had 24 points and 0 assists, tied an NBA record for made floaters in that game.

[Jessica]

Hell yeah.

[Dan LeBatard]

Made an NBA record. I did not know that we were tracking made floaters, but he made eight floaters. And so Tyler Herro in his return to the Miami Heat as an all star, a career or no, I'm sorry, a tying of any in game played throughout history since we started tracking floaters. I'm guessing that's fairly recent, the tracking of floaters.

[Chris]

Yeah, that's in the NBA tracking era, the shot tracking era. But eight of nine on floaters in that game and I believe that top C.J. mcCollum and Jalen Brunson in their careers. Those are the only other two guys who have ever made eight floaters in a singular game. That was his first day back. And they normally say, you know, timing with that is a little bit difficult.

[Jessica]

Most people know that sat though, it's like DiMaggio.

[Chris]

Do you want another set though?

[Jessica]

Floaters in a game?

[Dan LeBatard]

How many threes did McCollum make last night? Because I saw he had 45.

[Jessica]

He's got a lot. But how many 45 threes? That's higher than average.

[Chris]

46. He had 10 threes last night. How about this stat per Brett Usher qualified players in NBA history to average a double double with a steal per game, a block per game and 40% from 3 Larry Bird in 1984-85 and through 18 games Khale Wear this season.

[Jessica]

There was actually an interesting Heat set that Jeremy showed me. I say this as if I'm surprised. You sound because the Miami Heat.

[Chris]

You watch any games yet?

[Jessica]

No, not yet. I'm getting to it though. Oh no. I saw one that was on Amazon Prime. It was an NBA cup game and.

[Chris]

They didn't win NBA cups tonight too.

[Jessica]

You know what's crazy? I looked it up. The main tiebreaker in the NBA cup is head to head. So the Miami Heat are running the least amount of pick and rolls in the league by a lot. And that's crazy because they're going to.

[Chris]

Set an NBA record because I'm pretty.

[Jessica]

Sure if Bam Adebayo gets a statue outside of the arena, it's going to be that dribble handoff. Oh, you shut your mouth also. So when your signature move is a.

[Dan LeBatard]

Dribble handoff, put it on the poll.

[Chris]

It would be the block on Tatum.

[Dan LeBatard]

Put it on the poll at LeBatard show. Should Bam statue be a handoff?

[Jessica]

Be a Come on. It's his signature move, the dribble handoff.

[Dan LeBatard]

Kurt Goldsberry says of the Heat quote, miami's doing something completely different. Will teams around the NBA start to copy this like they copied elements of the spurs or d' Antoni's systems? That's what the nerds are talking about. And Stan Van Gundy has said of Khalil Ware, his development has been fun to watch. This was on Zach Lowe's podcast. Their last seven or eight games, he's been as dominant as any big in the league. This is a legit leap happening right before our eyes, is what Stan Van Gundy is saying. Oh yeah, on the Zach Lowe podcast. But here is the instant replay, finally, of ZSAs being legitimately scared by a spider in the bucket. He is indeed horrified. Play this because this is as scared as I've ever felt someone be in our environment. He jumped away from me. I felt his energy.

[Mike]

No, it's okay.

[Jessica]

She speaks with authority.

[Dan LeBatard]

Oh my God, what happened? There's a spider in there. That is the brave Jonathan Zaslow, the face of bravery.

[Jessica]

Face of a sucker it's the holidays and the 50th anniversary of Miller Life. The holidays are all about gathering around with family and friends. So why don't you bring out a cornucopia of that beautiful white can? Miller Lite or draft, whatever it is. You know it's going to be a special time when you bring out Miller Lite because Miller Lite makes special time. Miller Time. Whether it's a late night hang after the holiday party or standing around a fire pit with a fan, Miller Lite just fits. It's a taste you know you can depend on, brewed for flavor with simple ingredients like malted barley, rich balanced toffee notes and that I iconic golden color. And at 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces, it lets you enjoy the season without weighing you down. The original light beer since 1975 and still hidden different 50 years later. The best holiday beers are the ones you don't expect. Miller Lite great taste. 96 calories. Go to millerlight.com dan to find delivery options near you, or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. Tis Miller time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Co. Milwaukee, Wisconsin 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.