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Dan LeBatard
You're listening to giraffkings Network.
Stugatz
You know that sound? It's the sound of money hitting your Venmo account. A friend paying you back. Or maybe it's getting cash back from your favorite business when you pay with the Venmo debit card. Or it's realizing you can pay with Venmo at checkout at thousands of brands. Now there are so many more ways to answer the question, what's your Venmo? Download Venmo today. The Venmo MasterCard is issued by the Bancorp Bank N.A. pursuant to license by MasterCard International Incorporated. DOSH cashback terms apply. You know that sound? It's the sound of money hitting your Venmo account. A friend paying you back. Or maybe it's getting cash back from your favorite business when you pay with the Venmo debit card. Or it's realizing you can pay with Venmo at checkout at thousands of brands. Now there are so many more ways to answer the question, what's your Venmo? Download Venmo today.
Chris Cody
Thanks.
Stugatz
The Venmo MasterCard is issued by the Bancorp Bank N.A. pursuant to license by MasterCard International Incorporated. DOSH cashback terms apply. This is the Dan Levatar show with the Stugatz podcast.
Amin Elhassan
This episode of the Dan Lebizard show with Stugatz is presented by Smirnoff. We do game days. Please drink responsibly. The Smirnoff Company New York, New York.
Billy Corben
I remember many years ago, Mina Kimes didn't know that she was being. That she was being heard on Highly Questionable and she was talking and she was saying of listeners of this show that she didn't understand how it is that our audience could listen to all three hours of this a day given how busy their lives are. And the thing that has flattered me about both Amin and all his hustling and Dominique Foxworth somehow is that they still listened to all of it. And yesterday, evidently this doesn't happen very often around here. But yesterday, evidently Amin was listening and there was something about slap Dick that made him want to be a part of the conversation from afar. That Mike. Or was it when was it that Mike Ryan called someone a slap dick?
Amin Elhassan
He called Gary Furman a slap dick.
Billy Corben
Yeah, that. That feud has escalated to uncomfortable places where.
Amin Elhassan
Glad we've continued to talk about University of Miami basketball, though.
Billy Corben
Anyway, Slap Dick made an appearance on the. On the show, and I thought it was an excellent word. It's a funny word, but I hadn't heard it for a While. And I don't know what a slap dick is. Is. I don't know what it actually is. It's someone who's standing there and just slapping their dick.
Chris Cody
Pretty much, that's what it comes out. It's basically someone like the emancipatory. You're not doing anything other than just touching yourself, basically.
Billy Corben
Okay.
Chris Cody
As opposed to doing your job. And so slap dick was a word that we used in basketball all the damn time. He's a slap dick. What are those slap dicks up to? Everyone's a slap dick. Anyone who's not doing their job was a slap dick. And I remember when I left basketball and I entered the media world, I used that term a couple of times, and nobody knew what the hell I was talking about. Right. I even tried to use it on air at espn. Obviously, I couldn't say slap dick, so I created the euphemism, or the clean version. The radio edit of slappy. He's a slappy as opposed to a slap dick. Right. But nobody got it. So I was like, maybe this is just something that we did.
Billy Corben
Billy, why are you looking at a meme that way?
Stugatz
Because you're confused that people didn't know that something you made up. No one knew what the reference was when you just made it up.
Chris Cody
Well, no, I was confused. Nobody knew what slap dick was. Was. And then I went slappy to kind of clean.
Stugatz
Did you use it when you were mentoring Diana Tausi?
Chris Cody
I didn't mentor Diana Tausi. I merely helped her win. Right. Basically, you want to win a WNBA title.
Billy Corben
She would probably call you a slap dick in her journey.
Chris Cody
I am Absolutely certain 1000 be so.
Dan LeBatard
Lucky to be called a slap.
Chris Cody
I think she would say, who knows?
Dan LeBatard
No, she's. She. She does. And she definitely has seen his. His jump shot. Like, 100% she's seen it.
Chris Cody
Look, you know what? Again, another journey that I'm glad I took because it built me into the actor I am today. But Dan, slap dick. I reached a point where I thought, maybe this isn't a word that, like, the common public knows or uses. So I was delighted to hear the show. You guys are talking about the word slap dick.
Billy Corben
I've heard it maybe five times in my life and never thought to myself, I wonder why it hasn't been popularized. I've used asswipe more than I have slap dick.
Chris Cody
That's gross.
Amin Elhassan
This must come from sports, because there's an article here from NBC sports.com pro football talk in 2009, and it was after Hearing on Parks and Rec, which our friend Mike sure was writing the term slap dick. And it said that it came from sports. It says, as John Feinstein points out in Next man Up, quote, anyone who is anything less than brilliant at his or her job is in the world. According to former Ravens coach Brian Billick, a slap dick. Or a slappy for short.
Chris Cody
Damn. There you go. See? So slap dick is specifically. It's towards people who are incompetent at their jobs. Right.
Billy Corben
It's not like Nico. So I could say Nico's a slap dick.
Chris Cody
I'm not going to call Nico slap dick.
Billy Corben
Well, what do you mean?
Chris Cody
There's a certain level of apathy slash laziness that goes along with.
Dan LeBatard
I mean, still has to respect him.
Billy Corben
Why do you still have to respect him like that? This is maximum slap dick situation.
Chris Cody
No, I think it's just.
Billy Corben
Are you Dan Orlovsky? You can't criticize Pierce because you want to get back in the lead.
Chris Cody
No, I can criticize every. I criticize Pierce all the damn time. Have you ever watched Oddball Monday through Thursday on DraftKings Network and on YouTube? Right.
Dan LeBatard
But criticize Chelsea Piers right now.
Chris Cody
Yeah, the place.
Dan LeBatard
Yeah. You said you criticize piers all the time.
Amin Elhassan
All piers.
Dan LeBatard
Criticize a pier. Navy Pier.
Chris Cody
Go Navy Pier. Overpriced. What's going on over there?
Dan LeBatard
That's a great call.
Chris Cody
Yeah, so.
Stugatz
But Chelsea Pier is built in 1910.
Chris Cody
Really? It looks really good.
Dan LeBatard
115 years old. That's older than David wants.
Chris Cody
Is it on the don't die documentary? Because that place looks great for some place. It's 110 years old.
Amin Elhassan
That really scary coach from last chance. You. Jason Brown tied to tried to trademark slap dick.
Chris Cody
No, see, like, you can't trademark slap dick, man. Slap dick is.
Billy Corben
Put it on the poll. Juju, can you trademark slap dick?
Chris Cody
When I'm trying to think of what a slap dick is. Right. It's got to be a guy who is not just bad at his job, but bad at his job because he's lazy. Not even trying. Right. That's what a slap dick is.
Billy Corben
Somebody who wouldn't call around the league to find out if there was value for Luca.
Chris Cody
You're not going to do this. Nico is not a slap dick. I'm not going to. Look, it was. I'm not saying I agree with the move. I'm just saying not a slap dick.
Billy Corben
Okay, are you done? Do you have any more information for us on your deep dive on the slap dick or.
Chris Cody
I do. I am really fascinated by the etymology, though, because you're like, what does it mean?
Billy Corben
I still. I think you guys think that that's what it is. But it's not just somebody who's slapping their dick. That's just. I think the reason that Parks and Rec did it is because it doesn't. It's not actually even a curse. It's just a funny word. And you're. The dick's almost implied it's one word. I don't know what it is. And I don't think it's somebody who's just standing there slapping their dick.
Chris Cody
Exactly that. Dan. Imagine this. Imagine if you hired, like, carpenters, and. And they're supposed to be like.
Billy Corben
So a woman can't be a slap dick?
Chris Cody
Yes, of course a woman can be a slap dick. Never said whose dick is slapping.
Dan LeBatard
You guys ever slap a dick?
Chris Cody
All the time. Every morning.
Stugatz
Okay.
Amin Elhassan
That and shit.
Billy Corben
What is that? Just. It's just unnecessary.
Chris Cody
One after the other.
Billy Corben
Chris, look, I didn't think we'd do any worse today. Look, I gotta stop everybody right now, and I'm sorry it took me so long to get to this. Billy, I think Australia's really mad at you, man.
Stugatz
Yeah, they are. Oh, why are they so mad at me? I apologize twice. What's the deal, fellas?
Amin Elhassan
Super sincere.
Stugatz
I.
Chris Cody
He did.
Stugatz
I thank you. I mean, I.
Chris Cody
Listen.
Stugatz
That's coming from a thespian two times.
Billy Corben
Over, listens to the whole show every day. And he knows that Australia yesterday was mad at you because you called them. You called them a place filled with criminals.
Stugatz
No. Well, we don't need to go back. Well, we're moving forward.
Chris Cody
I want to do a backup Billy, in this. They're not all criminals.
Stugatz
Thank you. But most of them.
Chris Cody
Most of them are descended from criminals. The white ones, at least.
Stugatz
They're not all criminals, Malia.
Chris Cody
The indigenous people, not criminals. That was their land.
Stugatz
Exactly right. Victims. Thank you.
Chris Cody
Actually, even the ones who weren't descended from criminals are kind of criminals because they stole the land from the indigenous people.
Stugatz
If anything, I was standing up for the indigenous people yesterday. And that's not how they're choosing to see it, for whatever reason. And that's more on them than on me.
Chris Cody
Billy, you let them off easy. You said it was, like 190,000. Whatever. Like less than 200,000. You have done easy. It's a nation of millions that stole their land from someone else.
Billy Corben
But Jessica did point out it was mostly pickpockets.
Dan LeBatard
Well, yeah, it was, like, a lot of petty crimes.
Chris Cody
Well, I mean, Is it petty when they steal a whole continent?
Amin Elhassan
Crime's a crime.
Stugatz
Thank you. Amazing.
Dan LeBatard
I guess they didn't really have a choice in it though. But then. Yeah, I mean, there's a lot of history since then that probably could be corrected.
Stugatz
Yeah.
Billy Corben
Jeremy, I will not have you try and sneak a Tom Petty in these windows resurrecting the spirit of Greg Cody. Someone says Petty and you just get in there with Tom Petty. Center field is a really small window.
Amin Elhassan
Richard Petty, Coach, what else did you.
Dan LeBatard
Like about the show yesterday? I mean, do you have any other comments for us?
Billy Corben
Critiques, thoughts? Just slap dick is all he had for us. It's not. I don't know that.
Dan LeBatard
What do you think about my Mike's Miami men's basketball head coaching report?
Chris Cody
Oh, sorry.
Dan LeBatard
I mean, like, why not do a third day in a row of that?
Chris Cody
Now here's the fun part about it. I'm listening. I don't know nothing about nothing. Right. That's. That's how.
Billy Corben
Okay, just so. All right, so we're gonna go to Gary Fuhrman again. We're gonna do this again.
Chris Cody
You know what? I like the original confirming. Even though I like the Fuentes remix. The original, I think is the best confirming.
Billy Corben
This is ridiculous. So Gary Furman's now feuding with our show. We're feuding with.
Chris Cody
I know. He should be honored.
Billy Corben
Greg Cody's feuding with Gary Furman.
Amin Elhassan
Which sounder are we going with?
Stugatz
The Roy one. Oh, God.
Chris Cody
Greg. Greg. Greg's the one that made it bad. I don't think Mike made it bad. I think Greg kind of, because. No, actually, you know what? I take it back. You're the one that made it bad.
Billy Corben
It's.
Chris Cody
No, I had to do the kind of the chain in my head. Why was Greg talking back? Because you were heaping praise on this dude and you're asking basically Michael Jordan. Hey, man, what do you think of Alan Houston? Allen. Houston's a good player. Right, but like, Michael Jordan's like, are you really? You're putting this guy on my plateau.
Billy Corben
Jessica, did you just spit out your oatmeal?
Dan LeBatard
I was just waiting for whatever name he was going to throw in there. It was good. Good one. It is Dan's fault.
Stugatz
Confirming.
Billy Corben
All right, look, kept trying to force.
Chris Cody
Him legendary status on him.
Billy Corben
Look, just like you will speak with some sort of reverence about whatever was the best front office experience that you had for a four month period where you felt like it was a magical time in your realm.
Chris Cody
Longer than four months.
Billy Corben
There was a At the Miami Herald. That was considered the best time at the Miami Herald for sports. And Greg Cody, like anyone who has been listening to this for 20 years, who reads the Herald from back then, would take what Greg Cody was doing to Gary Furman as being insult by not putting him in. In tears below him, like it was insulting. What he was doing to Gary Furman.
Amin Elhassan
Also may be true.
Billy Corben
But while this is his defense, his defense as he left the studio was the whole thing of, I'm just telling the truth.
Amin Elhassan
If he's saying this is. Gary would agree with me. I mean, it's hard to argue with that.
Dan LeBatard
Chris. First time Chris has ever had Greg's back, by the way. Go ahead.
Chris Cody
So, Dan, this is the best comp I can make. And this one, Jessica, this will hit home for you. Have you ever seen video of Joe Montana being asked about the movie Rudy?
Dan LeBatard
Oh, yes.
Chris Cody
That's basically what Dan did. He went to Joe Montana and said, wow, how great was it to play with Rudy? And Joe Montana looked at Dan like, what are you talking about?
Dan LeBatard
Great analogy. He's good at analogies.
Billy Corben
Confirming, I guess, that. That I was coming after the legend Greg Cody with not enough respect. And everyone here is just sort of saying it's okay for Greg Cody to be arrogant about, hey, I'm Michael Jordan and this is Craig Hodges.
Amin Elhassan
Mike called him a slap dick.
Billy Corben
You're asking me about.
Chris Cody
Yeah, Mike was way more disrespectful. Greg is not Michael Jordan. I take that back. Greg is Joe Montana and Furman is Rudy. And what you didn't do. You know what? Because Greg humbles himself every day, he allows himself to be the butt of the joke around here, we have a lot of fun at his expense. But you know what the biggest shock of my life was when I listened to Greg Cody on Kornheiser, and I said, who is this? This man is brilliant. He's eloquent. He's thoughtful. He thinks outside the box. This isn't the Greg Cody that I know from the Dan LeBatard Show.
Billy Corben
Well, this is one of Greg's greatest frustrations is that Kornheiser uses him that way. And that's how Greg gets produced by Kornheiser. And we use him the way that.
Chris Cody
We use him pretty much. And so when you walk in here and you start singing the praises of the guy who was the walk on, who didn't actually play that much, but we're gonna let Hollywood tell us lies and fiction.
Billy Corben
All I was saying is that if there were eight great sports writers on that staff, one of the best in the history of sports sections, and this was one of them. Does he not get respect?
Chris Cody
Hey, man, Ian Clark was on the 2017 warriors, okay?
Billy Corben
So you can't be the eighth man on a great team. And.
Stugatz
And you have to keep, like, insulting this poor man for no reason three days in a row. Why is that an insult?
Dan LeBatard
Why did you bring it up again?
Amin Elhassan
Come on, Dan.
Stugatz
See you, Gary.
Chris Cody
Zaza.
Billy Corben
Pat, why is that an insult? And why are you still spitting up boats?
Dan LeBatard
Such a good sound.
Chris Cody
Zaza. Patchoula.
Stugatz
Because we were doing birthdays earlier with Samson and we were looking up, like, famous birthdays, I decided to, like, look around and see whose birthday is tomorrow. We live in a. We live in a bad time. I would say confirming. I'm looking up famous birthdays for tomorrow. There's seven or there's six. Either YouTube or TikTok stars listed as the top six. Oh, then Elizabeth Taylor, and then right after her J. Wow.
Amin Elhassan
Those sites are all just YouTubers.
Dan LeBatard
Wait, this is a great show quiz idea for Dan and Amin.
Billy Corben
Whose birthday cheese.
Dan LeBatard
Are they real people or not? Give us some of the YouTubers and TikTok.
Billy Corben
She's a real person.
Chris Cody
I think you'll be surprised at how many YouTubers and TikTokers I know.
Amin Elhassan
We're YouTubers, aren't we?
Chris Cody
Yes, we are, technically. And tiktokers. I posted one yesterday.
Billy Corben
Billy, I do need to understand you are generally not someone who looks for fights with countries.
Stugatz
I don't look for fights with anyone. I'm a peaceful man. I just try to go about my day one day at a time.
Billy Corben
But Australia, what is this unpleasantness that you have welcomed into your life?
Stugatz
I think they're mad at me. And I have apologized multiple times. I tried to apologize a third time today. I don't. I don't know what else I can do.
Chris Cody
Hey, Billy, you know what I hear? I hear from them hit dogs hollering. That's what I'm hearing from them.
Stugatz
Okay, confirming.
Chris Cody
Thank you.
Billy Corben
Do you want to expound on that? Because it didn't really give Billy anywhere to go. He just sort of stared at you and then there was silence, which is generally not great in an audio method.
Amin Elhassan
That's why I hit the sound.
Stugatz
Yeah. Thank you, Chris. I had my guy Duke from South Africa reach out to me and say, you're absolutely right about everything you said about Australia. And I was like, it's my guy, Duke. But he also has, you know, in the past shown some very anti Australian sentiments.
Billy Corben
Questionable Allies.
Stugatz
Dukey Ball.
Billy Corben
Great, excellent work there.
Stugatz
Great.
Billy Corben
Way to go, Chris.
Chris Cody
I mean, he dropped a dookie.
Billy Corben
Yeah, you're at the height of said Duke executive producer.
Dan LeBatard
You're the Duke. Couple of dukes cutting it up.
Stugatz
Oh, Josh groban Also tomorrow, 43.
Dan LeBatard
Oh, Josh Groban.
Amin Elhassan
Who's Josh Groban?
Stugatz
Can I ask you guys something? And I, I know that there's going to be. I know there's at least one person that's going to fall into this category, but it's a conversation that I've been like wanting to have since the holiday.
Chris Cody
Time memes and nightmares is on Hulu. There. I answered it.
Stugatz
Michael Buble. Not for me. Like, he's for some. I get it. Not for me. He's like Mariah Carey, right? Like his whole thing is like Christmas and like let me sing songs. Like if I was like a crooner in like the 50s.
Dan LeBatard
You had me and you lost me so fast.
Stugatz
What do you mean?
Amin Elhassan
I'm with Billy. If you talk.
Stugatz
Well, in that, like, Christmas is his time, like Michael Buble's time is Christmas.
Dan LeBatard
And like, like every time is Mariah Carey's time.
Chris Cody
Are you just fantasy? Always be my baby.
Stugatz
You're gonna argue that Mariah Carey's time is not Christmas time. This is a crazy argument.
Chris Cody
Her time.
Stugatz
Her time is Christmas time, all the time.
Chris Cody
And then at Christmas she shifts gears to a Christmas side of her and then she dominates that. And then when Christmas is over, back to dominating the regular stuff.
Dan LeBatard
I guarantee she's 55, by the way.
Chris Cody
Wow.
Stugatz
I guarantee you that if you were to look up, you have easily a 10 month span where you don't listen to Mariah Carey at all very easily.
Chris Cody
Not true.
Stugatz
When's the last time you listen to Mariah Carey?
Chris Cody
Today.
Stugatz
Bullshit.
Chris Cody
I was just. My French fantasy remix.
Stugatz
The French dirty bastard French have like bad mouths. Is that where that comes from? So where's the origin of that? I'll look it up.
Billy Corben
I'll look it up.
Chris Cody
That's his.
Billy Corben
I'll look it up for you. Pardon my French. I'll look it up. Continue. I do believe this might be a to America situation.
Stugatz
Yeah, well, no, American, a France situation.
Amin Elhassan
Michael Buble, when he's talking, sounds like he's singing like, don't do that.
Stugatz
Just talk, Billy. He's like, hello, I'm Michael Buble.
Amin Elhassan
It's like, just talk.
Stugatz
I can't tell you a single thing he does other than Christmas special.
Chris Cody
Actually.
Stugatz
Yeah.
Dan LeBatard
I don't know a lot of Buble.
Chris Cody
Thank you.
Dan LeBatard
That's why I was with you until.
Jessica
You brought Mariah Carey.
Chris Cody
Mariah Carey is where we're arguing.
Stugatz
Wait, I'm not like, okay, Australia, Mariah Carey. I'm not meaning to disparage any of you.
Dan LeBatard
I don't mean some powerful enemies.
Stugatz
If Mariah is listening to this, I'm not meaning to disparage her. I thought that it was a compliment to own Christmas. Like I think people think of Christmas. I think Mariah Carey before Santa Claus or Jesus. Right. And before Buble. Yeah.
Dan LeBatard
I think a lot of people way.
Amin Elhassan
Over there have a holly, jolly Christmas.
Stugatz
Yeah. It's not a his song. He just gets.
Chris Cody
That's why I don't like the comparison because Buble. Tell me a Buble song. I don't know any of his songs.
Stugatz
Okay, I. Listen, Mariah miscarry.
Chris Cody
There you go.
Stugatz
I apologize. I will remove you from this comparison. I meant it more so that. That's the time of the year that they shine. But I. I will. I will take a step back, Mariah, and I apologize to you and the camera.
Dan LeBatard
That was sincere. That was way more sincere than your apology to Australia.
Amin Elhassan
By the way, I haven't met you yet.
Stugatz
I. Well, that's not even how that song goes.
Dan LeBatard
I didn't know who Josh Groban was till I saw Sweeney Todd.
Billy Corben
What?
Dan LeBatard
And then I found out he's like Christmas carol guy.
Stugatz
Close your eyes. Josh Groban. Just like. He's just one of those people that's like, oh, Josh Groban is here.
Amin Elhassan
He shows up everywhere.
Stugatz
He just shows up places.
Jessica
I didn't know who he was.
Stugatz
Random episodes of TV shows, people seem to like him.
Dan LeBatard
He seems super like Sweeney Todd.
Mike Ryan
Howdy, folks. It's Mike. And look, it's been an exhausting couple of weeks. Even on the show, there's all sorts of debate which sport takes it seriously enough. Where's the effort? Let me tell you something. As long as I'm sitting down on the couch and I have a beautiful white can of Miller Light in my hand, I'm. I make any sports time a Miller Time. And it's the perfect supplement because Miller Light makes all the moments better with great tasting light beer. For people like you and me who love beer, it's always the perfect time for friends, family, and a great tasting light beer tastes like Miller Time. Miller Light is brewed for taste. It hits different than other light beers. The taste that you know you can depend on. No games, no gimmicks, just great beer. For people who like beer, it has simple ingredients like malted barley for rich balanced toffee note flavors and the iconic golden color that we all know and love. The original light beer since 1975 and still the very best one. Miller Lite great taste. 96 calories. Go to millerlight.com dan to find delivery options near you. Or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer tastes like Miller Time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Co. Milwaukee, Wisconsin 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.
Jessica
Alright, I know I gotta do this ad read but hold on, let me reapply.
Dan LeBatard
Did you hear that?
Mike Ryan
Yep.
Jessica
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Stugatz
You know that sound? It's the sound of money hitting your Venmo account. A friend paying you back. Or maybe it's getting cash back from your favorite business when you pay with the Venmo debit card. Or it's realizing you can pay with Venmo at checkout at thousands of hands. Now there are so many more ways to answer the question. What's your Venmo? Download Venmo Today the Venmo MasterCard is issued by the Bancorp Bank N.A. pursuant to license by MasterCard International Incorporated. DOSH cash back terms apply.
Mike Ryan
Don Lebatard Chris Cody does an impression. Just be careful.
Stugatz
Dangerous game here. This is a dangerous game.
Billy Corben
I don't want to play this game.
Stugatz
No.
Mike Ryan
He was saying, man, I could do such a great country.
Billy Corben
No, I don't want to play this game.
Mike Ryan
He's like, man, this is who we're gonna like him.
Billy Corben
This is who we're gonna trust.
Stugatz
I mean, you do it.
Amin Elhassan
Let's let a mean do it.
Stugatz
I think.
Chris Cody
I think you could do it, Chris, because you did a great Charles Barkley. You're one for one there.
Billy Corben
Did no one just hear the segment we just did with Amin?
Stugatz
We cannot be taking judgment.
Billy Corben
Is not the council from the local drunk on whether or not you should do the impersonation of a black man stumbling over his words like you don't see the bad judgment.
Stugatz
There was Mose and Moody. Moody Moses that.
Billy Corben
It sounds worse.
Stugatz
Be careful, man.
Billy Corben
We gotta, like. We cannot do this. It's too close to the line. This is where the line is. Something legitimately funny can't be funny because we're scared our ginger's gonna do something racist by accident.
Amin Elhassan
Carry the hell on.
Stugatz
Dan.
Billy Corben
Rachel.
Chris Cody
Dan. The line is where we feel alive, though.
Stugatz
This is the Dan Levatar show with the stucco.
Chris Cody
I think when you're cool, like, you're just a cool person, you find your way onto a lot of different sets and into a lot of different projects. Kind of like I found my way to memes and nightmares, which you can catch on Hulu right now.
Billy Corben
You've mentioned that people say pardon my French before swearing because it's a humorous way of apologizing for using profanity by pretending that the curse words they just use are actually French.
Dan LeBatard
That's such an AI ass answer.
Billy Corben
Playing on the stereotype that French is a sophisticated language, even though the phrase is used ironically and the words actually English. In the past, knowing French was associated with upper class in education, so using French words could be seen as showing off, which is why people would apologize for using them. The irony is that today, pardon my French is used ironically, as most people understand that the swear words are not actually French.
Chris Cody
I'm with you, Jessica. That is Gemini. I've learned. I've learned to know how Gemini sounds. And Gemini, ladies and gentlemen, is terrible. It doesn't know what the hell it's talking about.
Amin Elhassan
That sounded right.
Chris Cody
Actually, it sounds right, but it's also almost exclusively wrong.
Stugatz
I saw a headline for an article about the Jaguars that I thought was AI But I found out it's actually AP and it was one of the more insulting headlines I've ever read, quote, jags expect inexperienced staff, including 34 year old GM James Gladstone to, quote, grow into it.
Amin Elhassan
I can't believe he's 34. Have you seen this guy?
Billy Corben
He looks so young. I just, I've never seen. Look, it was once upon a time that McVeigh was the baby and McVeigh looked young and looked ridiculous. I. Have you guys ever seen a sports leader? Theo Epstein was like 28 when he ran the Red Sox.
Amin Elhassan
Sean McVeigh was young.
Dan LeBatard
He was 30. I think he's younger than this. Yeah. Yeah. Also Steve Martin. We have a clip of the Jaguars new GM James Gladstone talking at his introductory press conference that we're gonna play just so you could get a sense for his.
Amin Elhassan
How adorable he is.
Chris Cody
Holy. Yeah.
Billy Corben
I don't think we've seen the best of Trevor.
Chris Cody
I'm really excited for Liam to get.
Billy Corben
A chance to work with him, support.
Chris Cody
Him, and really bring the tools that.
Billy Corben
He has in his arsenal to life. And I think it starts by the protection, right?
Chris Cody
Making sure that he feels like he's.
Billy Corben
Got as much time to work with as possible and also that he's comfortable with the pass catchers. And so I think through that lens, he's going to feel that change in both the operation schematically and then the.
Chris Cody
Personnel that we invite into the building.
Amin Elhassan
Looks like Jeremy's younger brother. My younger brother looks old.
Stugatz
I don't trust him because he dresses like Jeremy.
Amin Elhassan
He does dress like me. I would dress like that.
Dan LeBatard
That's a good fit. That's a fan too, though, Billy.
Chris Cody
No. This guy looks 19, 20, oldest.
Billy Corben
I want to ask you guys, because Theo Epstein is the one I remember, and I could make the argument that Theo Epstein is the most successful baseball executive there's ever been. If you win titles in Boston and Chicago, with the Cubs and Red Sox when they haven't won in 100 years, you do it in two different places because you're outsmarting everybody. That one could not have possibly worked out better because he was a moneyball discip. This franchise has done it with Urban Meyer. This franchise is a regional franchise. It's barely hanging on to the fringes of feeling like they matter Major league the way that the teams in that sport matter when they're good at football. Jacksonville has been lost for a long time, has been embarrassing for a long time, and has a quarterback that all of us are looking at and being like, I don't know if that's worth $50 million, so why not turn to the young guy who probably crunches numbers better than others instead of Urban Meyer when you've already done that and it last.
Amin Elhassan
There's no way this guy doesn't crunch numbers.
Chris Cody
That's what I want to land on, Chris, Because I don't know, I just learned about this guy right now.
Amin Elhassan
He's got analytics out the ass.
Stugatz
Hold on.
Billy Corben
Oh, my God.
Chris Cody
Are we stereotyping right now or do we know?
Billy Corben
I'm profiling. I'm profiling. I am straight up profiling. I know nothing about this dude other than, man, he's got metrics down.
Chris Cody
You know? You know why I believe you, Dan? Why I believe you're right? Because a guy who's deep into metrics probably can't read who's cool and who isn't. And that would make sense why he hired Liam Cohen to be the head coach. He probably walked. This guy's cool, and the rest of us are like this dude.
Billy Corben
But I would also say that I've gotten to know Tony Khan a little bit, the owner's son, and he is a numbers nerd, and he loves the information game. And they've given it up. They've given franchise control and leadership over to a bunch of football people, cavemen before, and now they're like, no, we're going to do it another way.
Stugatz
He also didn't hire Liam Cohen. So Liam Cohen basically went, got interviewed, and then said, nevermind, because I don't like your gm. Then they fired the GM and then kidnapped Liam Cohen, brought him back, didn't let him go back to his job in Tampa Bay. He takes the job, then they hire this guy. And I think that there's a likelihood Liam Cohen's gonna bully this guy Duvall.
Dan LeBatard
I also saw a video where something's coming. Florio and Sims asked him if he would redo his Duval, and he was like, not right now.
Stugatz
He wouldn't do it.
Dan LeBatard
He's not ready for it.
Chris Cody
That means he's not confident. He's like, wait, is it Duvall or is it Duval?
Dan LeBatard
He still doesn't know.
Amin Elhassan
Dory's not committed somehow. This GM has been working for the Rams since 20 2016, despite looking like that. He worked for the Rams for eight years before this.
Stugatz
Yeah.
Amin Elhassan
He's lived for eight years before this.
Billy Corben
Yeah. That's nuts. That he's been in football for eight years. That he climbed his way to the top, Grinded. Grinded his way out.
Amin Elhassan
I just.
Dan LeBatard
If he's. If he's a guy that looks slightly older, we're like, not Paying attention to the Jaguars GM higher right now he.
Amin Elhassan
Just looks like baby facial hair does intrigue me.
Stugatz
That's good. I like him. He was hired. He was hired by friend of the show, Tony Boseli. And I wonder if it was just like Tony's like, I don't know what the hell he's talking about. He must be an analytic.
Amin Elhassan
So many words.
Billy Corben
Yeah, well, Boseli's now a VP over there. He's like in charge. He's got some real power over there. Yesterday, I don't know if you guys were surprised by this. Can you get me the wheel here? Because I saw that Tony brought in from Hialeah the Wheel this morning with football topics because I was surprised yesterday at the amount of football that made an appearance. So Jessica, you tell me what it is that it lands on here because the wheel is. I see it from over here. The Browns say they're not going to trade Myles Garrett. The Falcons say they were unaware that Kirk Cousins arm was hurt. Aaron Glenn says the jets players were mad at him about cutting Aaron Rodgers. The Colts are throwing open Anthony Richardson to a quarterback competition. The Patriots are toying with making Joe Milton available. Devonte Adams goes anywhere that Aaron Rodgers goes. The Eagles are interested in Myles Garrett to keep him away from the Commanders. The Raiders might trade up to get Cam Ward. Gronk might be making a comeback in Colorado and Jamar Chase is going to become the highest paid non position quarterback player. Go ahead and spin the wheel. What does that land on, Jessica?
Dan LeBatard
Oh, it's Jamar Chase definitely didn't forget.
Amin Elhassan
Everything he said and just pick. Yeah, there's no way.
Billy Corben
Did you guys just stop listening to me?
Dan LeBatard
I actually was writing them down, but I lost you at a very wide wheel.
Chris Cody
I was looking at it. Those spices are so small. The font is so small. How'd you even read it?
Jessica
I'm just saying I do actually want.
Dan LeBatard
To talk about Gronk. Can we talk? What is. What is that?
Stugatz
Well, no, I landed on Jamar Chase.
Amin Elhassan
Yeah, we have to talk about him.
Dan LeBatard
Can you spin it again, Chris?
Chris Cody
Well, but it's not.
Stugatz
No, this is.
Mike Ryan
No.
Stugatz
So is Chase off the board or.
Amin Elhassan
We can get back to him.
Dan LeBatard
Oh, shit. It landed on the Browns. Not wanting to trade. My really wanted to get to Gronk.
Billy Corben
The overarching point for me was that was a lot of football news yesterday out of nowhere. That was a lot of stuff that made an appearance where I thought that some of it might be fake because Gronk making a comeback.
Dan LeBatard
It didn't land on that. So we can't talk about it.
Billy Corben
Yeah, unfortunately. Well, Miles Garrett. I'm more interested in Miles Garrett, like, him staying there and the Browns doing this one is interesting. I mean, because wherever it is that player empowerment resides. Right. It has not yet come to football where someone like Miles Garrett, like, where football is a different sport, different culture. And wherever it is that we have thought that basketball has let it get out of control with how powerful the players are where they can hold a organization hostage. There are very few football players who actually have the power to leverage an organization that we all see from afar is less excellent than they're worth having. I gave you the stat recently that this, this Browns franchise in terms of historic incompetence. When you go 1 in 31 for two seasons and what you end up having is none of the MVP quarterbacks that were number one picks in that draft, you miss on all of those and your two best players are two players that ask for trades because you're incompetent. Like, you don't do anything right, and now you're tied up. Myles Garrett doesn't want to break his back because we've got too much money tied up in Deshaun Watson and it's all ruined. Like, he doesn't want to sign up for. No. I've got three more years of pass rush here. I'm not going to play for a team that's going to throw Jameis Winston out there nine games a season and have him look better than Deshaun Watson where all our money is tied up. Myles Garrett has legitimate power here. It's not. But he's got it. But football won't let you have legitimate power here. So what is it?
Chris Cody
I think he's one of the people who does have the power, though, I think. Well, I think they're going to say we're not going to trade him and all that stuff, but at the end of the day, he's. At the end of the day. There it is again.
Billy Corben
Wow, you've got a crutch now. You need to pay attention to it. I'll tell you why you need to pay attention to it. It's what Stugots did at the beginning of his career, and it was just always at the end of the day. At the end of the day. Yeah, it's just a verbal crutch. It's useless.
Chris Cody
It is useless. But they're going to say what they're going to say, which is, we're not going to treat them. You have to project that strength Especially in that sport. Right. But ultimately. Which is a different version of that at the end of the day.
Billy Corben
Right? That's right. That's right. All crutches to get you to the next point.
Chris Cody
Ultimately, Myles Garrett is not only high enough value but also impactful enough for their team that he can ruin their season.
Billy Corben
In the Cleveland Browns, you don't have that organization had expectations and they had a brief period where it was Manziel and it was going to be Odell Beckham. And it's the first time any of us have believed in the Browns. They are now starless. They do not have a star. This was a playoff team recently. Myles Garrett is their only star. He's their only important player. I can point to Njoku if you want to, at least in part because he's always wandering the earth shirtless. And you would too, if you looked like him. Walks through airports shirtless, does all interviews shirtless. But the Browns don't have a star now. They've got one player know they've got one player that America respects. 1. And it's only because Chubb is hurt.
Chris Cody
Who also has two years left on his deal. Right. So there's that element to it as well, which is, look, not only can I kind of mix things up here, but every moment you wait to trade me, my trade value decreases. You need to move now. In many ways, this is kind of like the Jimmy Butler thing from last summer. It's like, if you're gonna do them, if you're gonna deal them, him, do it now.
Amin Elhassan
The difference between the Browns and the Heat is just. It seems like the Browns would be okay being bad for another season or two. Right. They're in tank mode. And so holding on to this player, even if he can sabotage you with his on field play, which isn't what we. What we would expect from Miles Garrett. It might be okay with them just to hold on to a guy that the fans love.
Billy Corben
I. I've got to explain though, on this one, where I'd love this power to come to football, very few people actually end up having it. He can leverage the Browns here because he doesn't want to waste three seasons playing for something that is sure to be 6 and 11. They've got a quarterback problem that can't be fixed. That. That's not. That you cannot. Are people not aware like we throw around, even though it's a salary cap sport. Like, we all understand that's one of the most ruinous contracts ever given for guaranteed money. Correct. It has pinched Myles Garrett So that the prime of what's left of this part of his career will be played for sure in obscurity with every season feeling like this one, which is how he gets to the point of, I don't want to play here anymore. Now, no amount of money will keep me here.
Chris Cody
If I'm the Browns, do I say, hey, does Cam Ward change any of that feeling? Right. If they draft Cam Ward now, you've got another star. You got the bell quarterback in college football.
Amin Elhassan
And that could be even more reason a, for him to either participate and stay and say, I'll do my job on the defense. You build this around the rookie. Or really, it should incentivize the Browns to trade him. Because why wouldn't you try to get as many pieces that you can build around Cam Ward as this new wave of the organization moves forward?
Dan LeBatard
I think the issue, though, is the dead money hit. If they trade him, it's going to be like $36 million. If they trade him before June, June next year.
Billy Corben
That's part of it.
Dan LeBatard
They're just. They're in cap hell because of making the worst deal ever.
Billy Corben
I want to watch what happens with the players in this sport who have legitimate power because you see what's happening with Matthew Stafford and the Rams. That strikes me as a unique business relationship where the Rams appreciate their quarterback, what he's done for them, and they're like, hey, you want to go shop around? Go have your agency. If someone wants to give you $50 million a year, that's not normal. That's not a normal thing to have. That's like McVeigh's super grateful for. Hey, you know, look past us to a championship. You gave us all golden. You gave us all a golden time here. Our trade of golf worked out and now they're working together to get some a quarterback that could also make a mess in a sport that doesn't allow these messes. Like, you understand how infrequently you ever see any of this in football. It's not a normal thing to come to your franchise and exhibit any power as the laborer.
Chris Cody
But, Dan, I often think about that. Is that because they can't, or it's just because they never. The old, I didn't know you could do that. Right? If we look at football and say the reason it's done this way is because they basically convinced their labor pool that this is all you can do. You can't do any of that mess over here. And then as they look over at basketball and player after Player getting exactly what they wanted. Do we not see a rise of this happening on the NFL level?
Billy Corben
I mean, I think this is what Aaron Rodgers is doing to test the fringes of this. You realize how valuable quarterback is. I'm going to pick my next spot and Devonte Adams is coming with me if I want to play, even though my QBR is 25th in the league. Like, it's a real power they have. But Belichick and Kraft ran off Brady and then he won and Brady won all the games after that. Like Brady wins all of the money after that. But no, they don't want players to have power. Why would they.
Chris Cody
No, they don't want players to have power. But sometimes you have the power by just telling people you don't have any power. Shut up. And then one day you realize, wait a second, I have all the power.
Billy Corben
But no, but it's part of the entire culture of you don't make a mess for your team. You don't hold out. It's the whole culture of the thing.
Chris Cody
When you say culture, when you say culture, you're saying there isn't like a rule or a financial restriction, although there are on some players based on how their contracts are structured. But when you talk about quarterbacks and guys at the top who have a lot of guaranteed money, then, yeah, they really don't. They can tell you the culture. And that's not how we do things here. But at the end of the day, like you're. It's the honor system, basically. You're asking me just to go along and get along.
Billy Corben
You did. At the end of the day, again, play the stugot sound for me the first time. I chastised them about this about 17 years ago.
Chris Cody
Listen, at the end of the day.
Stugatz
I think at the end of the.
Chris Cody
Day, right, that's what it boils down to.
Stugatz
Listen, at the end of the day, again, I spoke about this in the 4:00 hour. @ the end of the day, he's going to help that team win football games. At the end of the day, though, it's the players. Ricky at the end of the day can help him win football.
Chris Cody
He sounds so young.
Amin Elhassan
Or he sounds like he had a golf ball in his throat.
Stugatz
That was young.
Chris Cody
That's young Stu. Guys, the end of the day thing is this. Do I do this every day? And today was.
Billy Corben
You do it all the time.
Chris Cody
Really? You guys concur on this?
Dan LeBatard
I do it too.
Amin Elhassan
I haven't really noticed, but at the end of the day, it's about what you've done for me lately. Solid, Jeremy.
Jessica
Nice.
Dan LeBatard
Also, the quarterbacks right now that are in positions to sign bigger deals are in a good spot because. Because there's not a lot of potential day one starters in this NFL draft. Not really the same as having, like, power via your CBA or whatever. But it is interesting to see how, like, you know, in a, in a normal year, the way Darnold ended the season, probably not great for him in this year, probably isn't going to matter too much. He's probably still going to make a lot of money.
Amin Elhassan
And to your point, Dan, Diana Rossini's latest, like, 10 minutes ago, was that Stafford's exploration of his market over the last few weeks has attracted significant interest from teams, notably the Raiders and the Giants, who are two teams near the top of that draft. Teams are anticipating the Rams will now be driving up the asking price if they decide to move him. So in this case, both for Stafford and the organization, working together on this theoretically is not only going to get him where he wants to be, but also bring back the. The best draft capital for the exchange.
Stugatz
When you were in the front office, I mean, did you ever have players that you guys allowed to explore trade options? And, like, how does that work? Do they come back like, hey, so like, I was talking to the Raptors.
Chris Cody
And they said trade options? No, but we did consult players we wanted to trade Shaq. And Steve Kerr got a deal done with Portland, basically. And he went to Shaq, he said, I have a deal on the table right now to send you to Portland. And Shaq said, please don't send me to Portland.
Stugatz
Yeah, but like, we didn't. Stafford's not cold. Calling teams like, hey, it's Matthew Stafford, Quarterback for LA is maybe play for your.
Amin Elhassan
What's your snack machine like?
Chris Cody
I mean, that's what agents are.
Amin Elhassan
That's what I'd be asking.
Chris Cody
Who was it? Seagulls? Alexander fired his agent. And everyone's like, what a great move. And I'm like, no, you need an agent because an agent is the one that gets you out of trouble.
Amin Elhassan
You have honey buns.
Dan LeBatard
Chris's agent's like, chris, no, we need to talk about the terms of the deal. And he's like, please, what's cereal.
Chris Cody
At the end of the day, that's what he cares about.
Stugatz
Confirmint.
Billy Corben
Again with Gary Ferguson again.
Mike Ryan
Howdy, folks, it's Mike. And look, it's been an exhausting couple of weeks. Even on the show, there's all sorts of debate which sport takes it seriously. Enough. Where's the effort? Let me tell you something. As long as I'm sitting down on the couch and I have a beautiful white can of Miller Lite in my hand, I'm good. I make any sports time of Miller Time and it's the perfect supplement because Miller Lite makes all the moments better with great tasting light beer. For people like you and me who loves beer, it's always the perfect time for friends, family and a great tasting light beer. Tastes like Miller Time. Miller Light is brewed for taste. It hits different than other light beers. The taste that you know you can depend on. No games, no gimmicks. Just great beer. For people who like beer. It has simple ingredients like malted barley for rich balanced toffee note flavors and the iconic golden color that we all know and love. The original light beer since 1975 and still the very best one. 1 Miller Light great taste 96 calories go to millerlight.com dan to find delivery options near you or you can pick up some Miller Light pretty much anywhere they sell. Beer tastes like Miller Time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Co. Milwaukee, Wisconsin 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.
Podcast Summary: The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Episode: Hour 1: The Origins of Slapdick
Release Date: February 26, 2025
In "Hour 1: The Origins of Slapdick," hosts Dan Le Batard and Stugotz delve into a range of topics spanning sports jargon, interpersonal feuds within the sports media landscape, cultural sensitivities, and prominent figures in the sports world. The conversation is lively, filled with humor, and rich with insider insights that offer listeners a comprehensive look into the dynamics of sports commentary and personal interactions within the industry.
The episode centers around the intriguing origin and usage of the term "slapdick" within sports circles.
Definition and Origin:
Usage in Sports:
Cultural Penetration:
Notable Quote:
A significant portion of the episode addresses the escalating feud between Gary Furman and Greg Cody, a notable figure in sports media.
Background of the Feud:
Impact on Relationships:
Greg Cody's Portrayal:
Notable Quotes:
The hosts navigate conversations around cultural sensitivity, particularly concerning impersonations and comments about specific nationalities.
Impersonations:
Apologies and Misunderstandings:
Notable Quotes:
Interspersed with the heavier discussions are lighter segments that showcase the hosts' camaraderie and diverse interests.
Famous Birthdays:
Music Preferences:
Notable Quotes:
The conversation shifts to recent developments within the Jacksonville Jaguars' front office, focusing on the appointment of GM James Gladstone.
Introduction of James Gladstone:
Critique of Organizational Decisions:
Notable Quotes:
A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to analyzing Myles Garrett's influence within the Cleveland Browns and the broader implications for player power in the NFL.
Myles Garrett's Impact:
Comparisons with Other Sports:
Financial Implications:
Future Prospects:
Notable Quotes:
The episode concludes with reflections on the day's discussions and a humorous nod to recurring phrases.
Recurring Phrases:
Final Remarks:
Notable Quotes:
"Hour 1: The Origins of Slapdick" offers a deep dive into the nuanced language and interpersonal dynamics within the sports media sphere. Through candid discussions, humorous exchanges, and insightful analyses, Dan Le Batard and Stugotz provide listeners with a multifaceted view of current sports controversies, player influence, and the ever-evolving landscape of sports commentary.
Notable Quotes:
Chris Cody [02:40]: "It's basically someone like the emancipatory. You're not doing anything other than just touching yourself, basically."
Billy Corben [11:20]: "All crutches to get you to the next point."
Billy Corben [24:03]: "That's such an AI ass answer."
Billy Corben [32:47]: "But football won't let you have legitimate power here."
This summary captures the essence and key points of the episode, providing a comprehensive overview for those who have not listened to the full show.