Hour 1: The Poop Picker Uppers

Summary

The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz – "Hour 1: The Poop Picker Uppers"

Date: December 2, 2025
Location: Elser Hotel, Downtown Miami
Hosts: Dan Le Batard, Stugotz, Greg Cody, Mike Ryan, Tony, Max Brosmer, Roy, Oli, Chris Cody

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Episode Overview

This episode delivers the usual collision of sports, pop culture, and comedic banter the show is known for, with a special “Greg Cody Tuesday” focus. The main throughlines span heated debates over dog poop etiquette, the economics and politics of college football coaching hires (especially Lane Kiffin’s wild contract), and whether sports leadership is ever really as meaningful as fans hope. Interspersed are playful top-five lists, musings on villainy in the NBA, and whimsical discussions about proper name pronunciation. The crew’s signature blend of sarcasm, irreverence, and rooting for Miami shines throughout.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Greg Cody's "Back in My Day" Segment Controversy

• Discussion:
  • Stugotz admits he hasn’t prepared a “Back in My Day”, citing writing deadlines ([02:36], [02:47]).
  • Greg Cody and others roast him for “quitting” his main assignment, drawing parallels to accountability he demands from athletes.
  • Stugotz argues for evolving roles:
    “People change. People evolve.” ([03:15] – Stugotz)
• Insight: The show pokes fun at themselves and workplace dynamics, blending accountability with trademark self-deprecation.

2. The "Poop Picker Uppers" & Pet Etiquette

• Greg’s “Gripes of Wrath” Segment Recap:
  • Stugotz claims people fake picking up after their dogs, using empty/”toy poop” bags to display virtue without the work ([04:49]-[05:17]).
  • Mixed reactions: Some defend diligent poop pickers; others sheepishly admit to backyard neglect.
  • Chris Cody confesses: He pays a service $15/week to handle dog waste in his yard ([07:13]).

    Stugotz: “Next thing, you're gonna pay somebody to wipe your ass for you.” ([07:25])

• Memorable Quote:
  “If you're carrying around the bag of poop, you're going to…” – Greg Cody ([05:07])
• Discussed Dilemmas:
  • Should people pick up after their dogs on “common ground”? Opinions vary ([06:28]-[06:33]).
  • Is faking the act more about neighborly optics than actual cleanliness? ([08:33])
• Show’s Stance: The group lands somewhere between gleeful cynicism and mild civic guilt.

3. Santa-Looking Coaches: Mike Ryan’s Top Five

• Segment Setup:
  • Mike presents a list of coaches “most like Santa,” spanning all sports, judged by looks and vibe ([08:50]-[11:16]).
• Top Picks Include:
  • Bob Wiley, Howard Schnellenberger, Rob Ryan, Lovie Smith
• Notable Moment:
  “His beard is on his chest. That is absolutely a beard that has fallen from his face and is just a tuft of hair.” – Greg Cody ([10:15])
• Santa Coach Quote:

  “Number five, Bob Wiley, former Browns offensive line coach. Famous for going and his tummy moving.” – Mike Ryan ([09:50])

4. Lane Kiffin, Coaching Contracts, and “Hope Trafficking”

• College Football Leadership Farce:
  • Dan rails against the public’s obsession with “leadership heroes,” citing Lane Kiffin’s extravagant LSU contract (65 hours of private jet time, endless perks) ([14:45]-[17:13]).
  • The absurdity of coaches earning bonuses for former teams’ successes is dissected.
  • Comparison to Brian Kelly’s contentious contract experience at LSU.
• Political Involvement:
  • Clip played of Louisiana Governor Landry grandstanding about sports contracts—only to greenlight another, even wilder one ([17:36]-[20:26]).
  • “This governor turned out to be a clown. Give me a break.” – Tony ([19:09])
• Show’s Tone: Deep skepticism—both of politicians and the mythos of football’s “leader-saviors.”

5. Fake Leadership & the New Florida Coach’s Arrival

• Gator Chomp Analysis:
  • The optics of a new Florida coach descending jet stairs while “doing the Gator Chomp” is hilariously scrutinized:

    “He’s coming down the stairs while also doing the Gator Chomp... at a discount. Half as much as Lane Kiffin.” – Greg Cody ([23:25])

• Jovial Hypocrisy:
  • The performative nature of these introductions elicits both ridicule and reluctant admiration ([23:59]-[24:30]).

6. Name Pronunciation Rabbit Hole

• Marcus Mariota or Mariota?
  • The proper pronunciation launches a roundtable riff, after a TV broadcaster pronounces it different from the norm ([25:35]-[26:14]).

  “Marcus doesn’t know how to say his own name.” – Mike Ryan ([26:11])

7. Dillon Brooks: NBA Villainy & Redemption

• Topic: Changing perceptions about Dillon Brooks’ impact and talent, after initially dismissing him as a “fraud” and a “laughable” overpay by Houston ([27:28]-[28:29]).
• Brooks’ Impact:
  • Instrumental in lifting downtrodden teams’ culture – from Memphis to Houston to Phoenix.
  • Cements himself as “a better villain” than Draymond Green?

    “Does that sport right now have a better villain?” – Greg Cody ([34:56])

• Show’s Admission: Willingness to admit they “didn’t know ball” on this subject.

8. Tony’s Top Five (From Dade County Courthouse)

• Format: Tony’s “observations” segment mixes NFL and college notes, delivered with location-based flair ([35:30]-[39:41]).
• Notable Observations:
  • Miami Hurricanes outscoring opponents by >28 pts in last four games.
  • Oklahoma (“PU”) called out as playoff frauds.
  • Playfully threatens Supreme Court action if Miami is left out of the CFP:

    “We’re taking the fight all the way up to the Supreme Court... I’ve been sent here by the Department of War for the University of Miami...” – Tony ([39:00])

9. College Football Playoff Chaos: Who Deserves What?

• Debate:
  • Should Mario Cristobal, Miami’s coach, be on a media blitz to sell his team for a playoff bid?
  • The committee’s shifting standards on “quality losses,” “head-to-head,” and “conference championships” are roasted ([41:21]-[42:40]).
  • Mike: “If they’re gonna bullshit me, bullshit ‘em back.”
• Wide-Open Races:
  • Greg Cody reflects: NFL, college football, and even the Heisman Trophy are true toss-ups this year ([42:40]-[43:28]).

  “How can we still be asking after this much ball has been played? ... I don’t know who’s good.” – Greg Cody ([44:45])

10. Miscellaneous Fun

• Wild News:
  • Bizarre shark attack story: a woman is swallowed whole while swimming with friends, nobody notices ([32:12]-[32:39]).

    “If I’m swallowed whole by a shark, you’re going to know it.” – Stugotz ([32:41])

• Rapid-fire Bits:
  • Riffs on “matching pajamas” (Oli)
  • Omaha Steaks promo with Roy’s comic deadpan
  • The joys and perils of late-night online shopping sprees (Dan)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

| Timestamp | Speaker | Quote/Description | |-----------|-----------|------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 03:15 | Stugotz | “People change. People evolve.” | | 04:49 | Stugotz | “Yeah, they’re all frauds. If I see somebody walking...with one of those little plastic bags...He knows he isn’t. I know he isn’t.” | | 07:13 | Max B. | “15 bucks. They come twice a week. And now I don’t have to worry about stepping in poop in my backyard.” | | 05:07 | Greg Cody | “If you're carrying around the bag of poop, you're going to...” | | 10:15 | Greg Cody | “That is absolutely a beard that has fallen from his face and is just a tuft of hair.” | | 17:13 | Tony | “It’s one of the wildest incentive clauses I’ve ever seen.” | | 19:09 | Tony | “This governor turned out to be a clown. Give me a break.” | | 23:25 | Greg Cody | “He’s coming down the stairs while also doing the Gator Chomp...at a discount. Half as much as Lane Kiffin.” | | 26:11 | Mike Ryan | “Marcus doesn’t know how to say his own name.” | | 27:28 | Greg Cody | “[Dillon Brooks] is a lot better as a basketball player than I ever thought he was in Memphis.” | | 34:56 | Greg Cody | “Does that sport right now have a better villain?” | | 39:00 | Tony | “We’re taking the fight all the way up to the Supreme Court...I’ve been sent here by the Department of War for the University of Miami...” | | 44:45 | Greg Cody | “How can we… not have any idea about those three things? Who’s gonna win college football’s championship? Who’s gonna win pro football’s champion? Who’s going to win the Heisman?...I don’t know who’s good.” | | 32:41 | Stugotz | “If I’m swallowed whole by a shark, you’re going to know it.” |

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• “Back in My Day” Segment Debate: [02:36] – [04:49]
• Dog Poop Picker Uppers/Service Confessions: [04:49] – [07:27]
• Fake Poop Bags & Social Optics: [08:06] – [08:49]
• Santa Coaches Top Five: [08:49] – [11:16]
• Lane Kiffin Contract & Hope Trafficking: [14:45] – [20:26]
• New Coach Gator Chomp Analysis: [23:08] – [24:30]
• Name Pronunciation Sidetrack: [25:29] – [26:15]
• Dillon Brooks, NBA Villainy: [27:28] – [35:19]
• Tony’s Top Five (Live Courthouse Bit): [35:30] – [39:41]
• College Football Playoff Arguments: [41:21] – [42:40]
• Wide-Open Sports Races: [42:40] – [44:45]

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Episode Tone & Takeaways

• Vibe: Playful, irreverent, and self-aware, the hosts jab at sports conventions, local Miami flavor, and each other.
• Seriousness: Even as topics turn weighty (sports contracts, political hypocrisy), it’s all filtered through humor and a knowing wink.
• Miami Love: The city’s teams and characters are never far from the spotlight, with genuine emotion (and campy protest) for the Hurricanes and familiar frustration with college football’s gatekeepers.

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Useful For: Anyone interested in college football’s coaching carousel, Miami sports culture, or simply in need of a smart, funny window into how major sporting events and micro neighborhood squabbles alike are processed by one of sports-talk’s most entertaining crews.

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This summary omits ad reads, show intros/outros, and non-content sections, focusing on core topics and the entertaining banter that makes the Dan Le Batard Show a South Florida staple.

Transcript

[Dan Le Batard]

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[Tony]

Smirnoff.

[Dan Le Batard]

Wow, you're on the money with Smirnoff.

[Greg Cody]

Smirnoff.

[Dan Le Batard]

I'm gonna ask you, Chris, what's your favorite game day food?

[Tony]

Smirnoff.

[Dan Le Batard]

That's your favorite game day drink. What's your favorite game day food?

[Greg Cody]

Smirnoff.

[Dan Le Batard]

All right, here's the deal. Game day is everything. The noise, the rituals, the passion, the dip, the wings, the dip again.

[Tony]

Smirnoff.

[Dan Le Batard]

Smirnoff belongs in that mix. Because if you're tailgating or hosting or just sitting there checking your fantasy lineup every 30 seconds, you need Smirnoff. Otherwise, it's not a real game day. They've been doing it since 1864, which is. I don't even want to do the math. It's a long time. It's like when Greg Cody was born. They're award winning, they make cocktails super easy, and they're all about bringing fans together. So, yeah, we do game days. That's their thing. And if you're over 21, you should, too. Why, Chris?

[Tony]

Smirnoff.

[Dan Le Batard]

Grab a bottle of Smirnoff at your local retailer and head to smirnoff.com to find recipes of delicious cocktails perfect for game day.

[Tony]

Smirnoff.

[Dan Le Batard]

Please drink responsibly.

[Mike Ryan]

Smirnoff.

[Dan Le Batard]

Number 21, vodka distilled from grain, 40% alcohol by volume. The Smirnoff Company, New York, New York. Please do not share with anyone under legal drinking age.

[Mike Ryan]

Me?

[Tony]

No.

[Mike Ryan]

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[Greg Cody]

Cuervo. Anytime someone says Cuervo, I show up.

[Mike Ryan]

Well, I do know that to be true. But even during ad reads like Cuervo, I think he could lay out, especially.

[Greg Cody]

For one of our great partners, sweet, delicious Cuervo.

[Mike Ryan]

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[Greg Cody]

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[Mike Ryan]

So enjoy the tequila that started it all. Cuervo.

[Greg Cody]

Cuervo.

[Mike Ryan]

The tequila that invented tequila.

[Max Brosmer]

Proximo.

[Mike Ryan]

Cuervo.com, please drink responsibly.

[Greg Cody]

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[Mike Ryan]

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[Greg Cody]

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[Mike Ryan]

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[Greg Cody]

This is the Dan Levatar show with.

[Stu Guts]

The Stu Guts podcast.

[Greg Cody]

It is a Greg Cody Tuesday. Do you have a Back in my.

[Stu Guts]

Day, Greg, I happen not to today. I sure wanted to, but I had a deadline for the book I'm writing.

[Max Brosmer]

Too busy missing PFBI deadlines.

[Stu Guts]

I had to get the last chapter in the last couple of days, so I didn't have time.

[Max Brosmer]

Still can't believe that.

[Tony]

What book are you writing?

[Stu Guts]

Sex and the animals with Ron McGill.

[Greg Cody]

I don't understand why it is that you have just simply quit on this, which was part of your job, a job that you are paid for. It is the one thing that we consistently ask you to do around here. We don't consistently ask you to do anything else.

[Tony]

Why can't you do it?

[Greg Cody]

And you've just stopped doing it.

[Stu Guts]

Yeah, I mean, you know, people change. People evolve. Sometimes someone.

[Greg Cody]

But you're telling Abdul Carter to come do his job professionally, to just do the thing that he has to do. You and. And you're saying be accountable while your son accused you of a lack of accountability on pfpi and you're clearly lacking accountability here when you're the only one responsible for doing this as part of your only job assignment around here.

[Stu Guts]

Well, first of all, it's not my only job assignment. Let me ask you this. Do I have any say in whether or not I want to continue doing back in my days?

[Greg Cody]

I mean, clearly not stop. No, but clearly you've stopped doing it. But you didn't make an announcement that you were stopping doing it. That and in fact, didn't you promise? You said there was one being worked on for some reason.

[Stu Guts]

There's a couple in the hopper. Yeah, we may you have all the say on this.

[Greg Cody]

You've been doing it your way the entire time.

[Tony]

Did you adjust your contract since you didn't want to do it?

[Greg Cody]

He's getting paid more.

[Stu Guts]

I'm in here twice a week. Nothing in my contract says I have to do. You know, I'm if I'm doing songs for this show, I'm doing songs for this show. Just this show was introduced with the football song we did.

[Max Brosmer]

The interesting part is it does seem as the back of my days have gone away from this show. Gripes of wrath have kind of gone into the Greg Cody show. It is true that he writes out complaining about things.

[Stu Guts]

It is true that on the Greg Cody show we have a segment called gripes of wrath.

[Max Brosmer]

I believe it was poop picker uppers this week.

[Stu Guts]

Yeah, they're all frauds. If I see somebody walking around my neighborhood with a dog on a leash with one of those little plastic bags pretending that if his dog craps on my lawn, he's going to pick up that poop. He knows he isn't. I know he isn't.

[Greg Cody]

That's a. That's a blasphemous allegation. If you're carrying around the bag of poop, you're going to.

[Tony]

Well, why carry around the bag then?

[Stu Guts]

You're doing it for some.

[Max Brosmer]

I'm with some people do the fake pickup. I'm.

[Greg Cody]

I'm.

[Max Brosmer]

I'm in the. Honey.

[Tony]

What does that mean? Like, they put their hand down and they just pick up grass.

[Dan Le Batard]

Just kind of do the look around.

[Max Brosmer]

In particular, like in case anyone's happen to be looking at me here. I'm in my honeymoon stage with my dog, so I'm picking up all the poop. Check back in a year. Maybe I'll be different. But right now, all the poop.

[Greg Cody]

You got to pick up all the poop. I made that mistake. I. I didn't know it at the first time. The first time I owned a dog. I did not know supposed to do that. You don't pick up the poop. Nope, I don't have a dog.

[Tony]

I got two dogs.

[Stu Guts]

I don't pick up my poop either.

[Greg Cody]

You don't pick up.

[Max Brosmer]

You don't walk your dog. It's just in your backyard.

[Stu Guts]

You don't pick up poop.

[Greg Cody]

You've got.

[Max Brosmer]

No, no, it's not. It's the opposite.

[Mike Ryan]

I'm disappointed to hear that because I kind of like you. That's bad.

[Tony]

It is disappointing.

[Greg Cody]

Wait a minute.

[Stu Guts]

Yeah, both avoided.

[Greg Cody]

Both things can be true. It is indeed, literally fertilizer. But it's not something anybody wants in their lawn.

[Tony]

And oh, no, I don't let my dogs poop on. In someone else's lawn.

[Greg Cody]

But this is what they're doing. This is what they're talking about on walk.

[Tony]

No, that's lame as hel.

[Max Brosmer]

Oh, okay.

[Tony]

But no, no, no.

[Stu Guts]

People do that, though.

[Tony]

Yeah, that's the lame as hell. Like if I let my dogs in my backyard. But if I, If I do take them on the leash and I walk them like around the lake in the grass where no one lives. And I do not pick that up. I would never allow my dogs to poop on someone's lawn and not pick up. That's awful.

[Max Brosmer]

But even common ground, and some people would call that still a jerk.

[Tony]

I'm not picking up common ground. Not doing that.

[Mike Ryan]

No.

[Stu Guts]

People walk around with fake poop in their bags. There's toy poop in those bags. Just to appear like you have something in the bag so that people drive by and say, oh, look at that guy.

[Greg Cody]

If you want more of this coverage, the Greg Cody show featuring Greg Cody is where you can get it.

[Stu Guts]

And here's something else I expose in the latest episode of the Greg Cody show. Because this man, my son, is a fraud. Chris Cody has just recently engaged a company and pays them every week to. To pick up his dog's from his backyard.

[Tony]

I want some details on that.

[Max Brosmer]

15 bucks. Whoa. They come twice a week. And now I don't have to worry about stepping and pooping my backyard.

[Tony]

I want that.

[Max Brosmer]

I'll send you the link.

[Greg Cody]

Yeah.

[Stu Guts]

Sad.

[Tony]

Yeah, right?

[Greg Cody]

Sad.

[Tony]

It's a great business.

[Stu Guts]

Next thing, you're gonna pay somebody to wipe your ass for you.

[Max Brosmer]

How much would it cost? You said that on the Greg Cody show, by the way.

[Stu Guts]

You gotta take responsibility.

[Greg Cody]

Can I get some fresh material out of you here? Like, how is it that you're doing all the work that you do for the podcast that we help you and you do a lesser version of the work here?

[Stu Guts]

Right, right, right. What's your point? I don't get it. What's your point?

[Tony]

Confirming the accusation.

[Greg Cody]

Mike Ryan, do you have your top five list of Santa looking coaches who this is just football or is this all.

[Mike Ryan]

All sports?

[Greg Cody]

All of. Okay, is it ready? It's ready.

[Mike Ryan]

It's ready to go. Fully baked.

[Greg Cody]

All right. Fully baked.

[Mike Ryan]

Fully baked.

[Greg Cody]

Okay. I still don't understand the accusation that Greg is making, by the way. You're are going to the effort of buying fake poop, putting it in their bag.

[Max Brosmer]

He's projecting what he would do.

[Tony]

It's one of the dumbest accusations I've.

[Stu Guts]

Ever heard because I believe that, you.

[Max Brosmer]

Know, you've seen anyone doing like you just saying. I believe that you think there are.

[Tony]

People driving around and they're actually peering to see if there's poop in the bag that's being held by that person on the streets.

[Stu Guts]

Dog walkers want to appear. The. The bag is nothing but a prop. Dog walkers want to appear as if they're doing the right thing by picking up after their dog. My contention is that most of them do not. Particularly when they look around and they don't see any neighbors looking at them.

[Greg Cody]

I learned it in an embarrassing fashion. I've told you guys the story before. The way that I learned this is I was yelled at by my neighbor, former Dolphins tight end Jed Weaver.

[Stu Guts]

Oh, what a name.

[Greg Cody]

That's what happened.

[Mike Ryan]

Solid hand.

[Greg Cody]

Wow.

[Stu Guts]

What did he say, Jed?

[Greg Cody]

He got mad. He got mad at me.

[Tony]

The dog pooped in his lawn.

[Greg Cody]

Yeah, but I.

[Max Brosmer]

Yes, you need a three yard reception.

[Stu Guts]

I thought, see, if you had that fake bag with a toy poop in it, you could have showed it to him.

[Greg Cody]

No, there still would have been the poop in his yard, but he couldn't.

[Stu Guts]

Prove it was yours. Was he gonna run a DNA test? Can't prove it's yours.

[Mike Ryan]

Oli, where's Roy? Tom Moore.

[Roy]

I'm right here. Vampire.

[Mike Ryan]

Fanfare, fanfare.

[Stu Guts]

Best Santa.

[Mike Ryan]

Look at Tom Moore. His face has not moved in 30 years of football. That's a happy man off season Santa for sure. But I mean, picture a big fluffy white beard on him. No, that's Santa.

[Greg Cody]

That's a clinically depressed Santa.

[Stu Guts]

Honestly, I just luggage under his eyes.

[Mike Ryan]

I just wanted to throw up a photo of Tom Moore.

[Greg Cody]

But he does look like Santa. You're right.

[Mike Ryan]

Number five, Bob Wiley. Former Brown's offensive line coach. Famous for going and his tummy moving.

[Stu Guts]

I mean, look at that guy.

[Greg Cody]

It's pretty. That's a pretty Number five.

[Max Brosmer]

It's a mustache guy, though.

[Greg Cody]

That's also a guy you don't want to really fight because I'm guessing he's got a lot of gray hair on his shoulders.

[Tony]

His beard's on his chest.

[Mike Ryan]

Look at that chest hair.

[Greg Cody]

Good God.

[Max Brosmer]

Wild high armpits.

[Greg Cody]

That is a great line by Zaslow. His beard is on his chest. That is absolutely a beard that has fallen from his face and is just a tuft of hair.

[Max Brosmer]

High armpit sweat.

[Mike Ryan]

I think he had a great wartime quote to Jeremy. Get on that. Number four. Can't all just be chubby white guys.

[Greg Cody]

Pop. Late stage pop.

[Tony]

You know about that Covid.

[Greg Cody]

Pop.

[Tony]

Look at that.

[Stu Guts]

Look at that hair.

[Mike Ryan]

Number three, Howard Schnellenberger.

[Stu Guts]

Jesus, what the hell is that?

[Greg Cody]

Photo choice.

[Mike Ryan]

Not really sure what happened in the processing. Take my word for it, he's wearing a red jacket, which would have been really helpful there. All right. Okay. Number two. We're gonna spell this Santa with two A's.

[Tony]

Rob Ryan.

[Greg Cody]

It's a good list.

[Mike Ryan]

And number one, this one's Easy Lovey Smith.

[Greg Cody]

It's a good List. I salute you. I want to get to some video.

[Mike Ryan]

Here we have the Bob Wiley quote.

[Dan Le Batard]

Did you know World War I and World War II? All those guys that fought in that war, they did push ups, jumping jacks, sit ups, climbed the rope and ran. None of this fancy shit. And they won two world wars. Do you think they were worried when they were running across Normandy about bleeping, stretching?

[Greg Cody]

That's a good quote.

[Stu Guts]

He ain't wrong, football guy.

[Mike Ryan]

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[Oli]

Holidays. Fun holidays as a dad, tough travel gifts, matchy pajamas. Don't get me started on matching pajamas. It's hot in Miami. I My wife says, why don't you want to do this with us? My daughter's crying anyways. School parties, hosting a family. Next thing I know, I basically put Christmas on my credit card and have no idea what I spent. Where. If you want to keep your finances under control this holiday season, you need to be using Monarch, rated Wall Street Journal's best budgeting app. At 25, Monarch's the All in one personal finance tool that brings your entire financial life together in one clean interface on your laptop or on your phone. Right now, just for our listeners, monarch is offering 50% off your first year, a massive deal. Monarch showed me how fast the holiday budget was disappearing. Flights, gifts, late night online shopping and helped me pump the brakes before the bill hit. Now my wife and I do quick money check ins, look at our holiday spending category and actually enjoy the holidays without starting January and the new year in panic. Don't let financial opportunity slip through the cracks. Use code [e-mail] in your browser for half off your first year. That's 50% off your first [e-mail] with code DAN.

[Tony]

Damn.

[Oli]

And don't give me those matching pajamas, I swear.

[Max Brosmer]

Folks, fuel your game day with the unbeatable crunch of Hampton Farms, the official peanut of bowl season. Perfect for sharing with friends, tailgating outside the stadium, or cheering from the couch. Grab a bag from the produce aisle of your local grocery store and savor the game one peanut at a time. Let's get nutty.

[Greg Cody]

Don LeBatard. You don't remember the idea.

[Max Brosmer]

I was probably like that kind of thing.

[Greg Cody]

Something.

[Stu Guts]

Okay, no, the home run call was that kind of swing, that kind of thing.

[Mike Ryan]

Sts. Oh, it's a good call.

[Stu Guts]

Thank you. And plus, it doesn't matter who's hitting it. Like, you're not tailoring it to a particular name. You know, all that jazz, you know, you don't got to do that. You just, oh, that would be a great call. Swing. That kind of thing.

[Greg Cody]

This is the D Ler show with the st. Speaking of which, there are a couple of coaches here who are getting attention and I want to cover some of this as I see Jim Mora being resurrected at Colorado State, because I think some of the stuff happening around this coaching stuff is the worst kind of hope trafficking, where we just want to believe so badly that some leader knows how to leader better than other leaders, that we just get super excited and crazy about Lane Kiffin, for example. So Lane Kiffin is getting an assortment of perks as part of his contract. And all that happened here, as far as I can tell, is that LSU wanted something that Florida thought it had. And so lsu, which has already made this mistake with Brian Kelly, is in the middle of fighting publicly. That's over now. Brian Kelly's going to get his money. But they fought and squabbled over whether Brian Kelly deserves his money after you'd think LSU already learned about this false prophet bullshit that we're doing all the time with leadership. But Lane Kiffin's perks are among the following. 65 hours of private jet time per year. Do you understand? Like, that's. He can take 20, 30 trips with that kind of jet time. That is a lot of jet time. Like 15 trips, courtesy Kurt. Well, it depends on how long they are. But he's also got private first class flying for just recruiting. So these are just family trips because he's got family and guest. Guest travel. He's got suites, priority tickets. He's got courtesy vehicles, plural. What are you laughing about, Mike?

[Max Brosmer]

Is that every coach at this point?

[Greg Cody]

Well, no, he's got. Look, he's got. Because of the way that he was coveted and because of the way he played this. I know a lot of people are angry about this. I saw Bill Cower howling about this on cbs. A lot of people are mad at Lane Kiffin for maximizing his leverage because of how he was coveted. He just got himself not just a contract that is spectacular, but a contract that guarantees him that it's going to keep being spectacular if someone else gets paid more than him or LSU is going to pay him for what would have been his bonuses if he had gotten.

[Tony]

That's my favorite.

[Greg Cody]

Deeper into the playoffs with Mississippi, that's my favorite.

[Tony]

So Lane Kiffin is actually still rooting for Ole Miss success right now while he is still. While he is the head coach at lsu. And if Ole Miss is successful, LSU has to pay their current coach. It's wild. It's. It's one of the wildest incentive clauses I've ever seen.

[Greg Cody]

Do you remember?

[Roy]

You remember?

[Tony]

Well, it was, I think the very end of October, right, where you had the clown governor, Governor Landry. The governor of Louisiana. Yes, of Louisiana. And going over the whole spiel about how, you know Scott Woodward, the then athletic director.

[Greg Cody]

Let's play the sound. Let's play. Let's play the sound. We were introduced to this governor because he was complaining.

[Tony]

Yeah.

[Greg Cody]

About Brian Kelly, wanted Brian Kelly gone and was complaining about the idea of doing this hope trafficking with heroes.

[I]

These big name coaches, they're big names because they win. What are they afraid of? Right. If you're the best, you shouldn't have to worry. You say, guess what? I'm putting my reputation on the line. And when I win, this is how much money I want. There's no guarantee to sets it. The way the contracts are structured now, tells the guy, listen, you know, in five years he might get tired of doing. He's like, he doesn't have to worry about coaching because he's like, look, as long as I kind of go through the motions, I get another five years at $10 million a year, that's not a bad gig. Pat, if your boys over There are giving great entertainment to ESPN and we don't get. We don't enjoy watching.

[Oli]

Yo.

[I]

Which we absolutely do. Guess what happens? You lose sponsors. That's the free market.

[Tony]

So they weren't going to give out. There was no way that LSU was going to give out. The state of Louisiana was not going to allow another contract like Brian Kelly just got. And what winds up happening. They do the exact same thing for Lane Kiffin and more. Paying him the bonuses for what another school does. His potential buyout one day is more than what Brian Kelly's would be. And there's no offset language of any kind that if they do fire him, that he has to go out and, you know, in good faith, look for another job. This governor turned out to be a clown. Give me a break.

[Mike Ryan]

A politician lying?

[Dan Le Batard]

No way.

[Stu Guts]

Why do governors get involved in sports now? Hey, governor, you got a whole state to run their state employees. Let the. It doesn't matter. They shouldn't get involved in their team.

[Greg Cody]

He's the highest paid employee in the state.

[Stu Guts]

I understand governors are employees of state.

[Greg Cody]

Colleges, not the governor. Lane Kiffin is the highest paid employee in the state.

[Stu Guts]

Right. I get it.

[Greg Cody]

Right.

[Tony]

Like if the boosters weren't going to pay the buyout for Brian Kelly, the state, the taxpayers would be on the hook.

[Mike Ryan]

Most governors don't exactly seize the opportunity to be front facing here, but they have a ton of influence. They approve budgets, they approve boards like Ron DeSantis. His fingerprints are all over state schools. In the college football.

[Stu Guts]

I don't think that's right. I think there's too much going on in a state for them to demean the office.

[Mike Ryan]

Oh, you don't think it's right that they do that? Because it is accurate.

[Stu Guts]

Right? All right.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yes.

[Stu Guts]

I don't think it's right. They do that.

[Greg Cody]

He gained a lot of political points by doing that. That's an easy winner for him. Of course it is to simply rip Brian Kelly. But then they do the same thing and more.

[Tony]

His words meant nothing.

[Greg Cody]

This is the best contract in the sport because it guarantees that. Look, Lane Kiffin had such leverage. And I do believe a lot of this is stupid, okay? Because I just saw Jim Mora Jr. Resurrected for Colorado State.

[Mike Ryan]

You got to stop doing this to Jim Mora. Back to back nine win seasons at UConn. Like he's doing it the hard way. Did you see his quarterback stats? 28 and 1.

[Greg Cody]

I am doing it to Jim Mora. Just because we can recycle every Matt Nagy that's out there like we can do.

[Mike Ryan]

It's hard to win nine games at UConn.

[Greg Cody]

Agreed. UConn is better than they've been. I'm only doing it to Jim Mora Jr. Because we've already seen this fail and now we're going to see it polished up. And it doesn't mean that Lane Kiffin can't learn from previous mistakes. Obviously Kenny was a very young coach, but he's failed every single time. He's had expectations every time. And now it has this contract because he's the guy that's available and all you need is two fighting over him and then the ego gets involved. Because when Florida thinks they have someone and LSU thinks that they're a better program, all of a sudden you've got exactly what you need in order to negotiate a real sweetheart deal from a governor and a constituency that just got burned by this.

[Mike Ryan]

I would buck up against. He's failed to deliver on expectations. I think he was there at Tennessee for one year. They were obviously pissed to see him go. He failed to to deliver at usc. No doubt he got fired on the tarmac there and the Raiders. But FAU surpass expectations. Ole Miss is having their greatest run in program history.

[Greg Cody]

Those expectations weren't real.

[Mike Ryan]

Any Lane over like he surpassed their expectations.

[Greg Cody]

Agreed.

[Max Brosmer]

Made FAU the top of that conference.

[Stu Guts]

There were.

[Greg Cody]

But there were no expectations when he took the job that actually FAU and Mississippi would be in 10 win territory. So of course he's exceeding low expectations. When he's had high expectations, he has not met them. That that's been his history. It doesn't mean he can't learn. And this isn't actually disparagement of Lane. I'm just putting in front of you the facts and what it is that happens when you start sprinkling. Oh, we need the guy who appears to have more leadership knowledge than the other guy. So let me, let me go over here to this summer. All because he gets off a plane giving great coach.

[Tony]

I like this guy.

[Greg Cody]

Well, of course I like him. So Mike told you yester this guy is being paid half of what Lane Kiffin was offered by Florida. He's thrilled to have the job. But let's show him getting off the plane here because he's showing exactly the kind of confidence when the coach is being introduced and you're getting your first optic.

[Max Brosmer]

I love this.

[Greg Cody]

He's getting off the plane and climbing the stairs.

[Stu Guts]

Look at him.

[Max Brosmer]

Look at him. Of course, a private same time the gator chomp while walking down some difficult private jet Stairs.

[Roy]

Yep.

[Max Brosmer]

This is a. This is a good look. This is a good start. I know that you. Everyone wants him fired already. This is a good start.

[Greg Cody]

It couldn't start better than this. He's coming down the stairs while also doing the Gator Chomp.

[Roy]

Tough to do.

[Greg Cody]

And doing so at a discount. Half as much as Lane Kiffin. And so this is what they sell you when they can't get Lane Kiffin. Hey, we lost on Lane. But what we've got is a coach who can indeed climb down the stairs while doing the Gator chomp with his.

[Max Brosmer]

I even think Lane waits to get to the bottom of the stairs before doing the chomp. Like he walks down and then chomps. Just that simultaneous.

[Tony]

It's dangerous.

[Greg Cody]

It's confident. Just you. You're confident in your athletic ability and your general synchronicity of function.

[Tony]

Well, there's no coming back if, like, even if you. You don't even have to fall, you don't have to trip. If you slip a little bit, there's no coming back.

[Max Brosmer]

Imagine that.

[Dan Le Batard]

Look.

[Stu Guts]

Oh, it wasn't a great chomp. I gotta be the guy to say it. The chomp was a little.

[Greg Cody]

Let me see it again. I also think he was cheating by looking down at the stairs. Yes. Because I think he was. And I don't blame.

[Max Brosmer]

I don't see any look.

[Tony]

One look.

[Stu Guts]

It's a lopsided chomp.

[Tony]

A couple looks.

[Max Brosmer]

All right.

[Tony]

He's looking all looks.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah.

[Stu Guts]

Like this.

[Greg Cody]

Well, he knows. He knows. He knows he can't fall in that moment.

[Max Brosmer]

I feel like one look and you're good. They're all the same.

[Greg Cody]

Do you think he thought of that before they open. They swung the doors open like he thought of that. No.

[Tony]

It could be a little jarring when the, the plane. You know, stairs come out. They're not your usual stairs. They could be a little bit thin, you know?

[Max Brosmer]

Can we see Lane walking downstairs? Do we have any shot of Lane walking down a play? Because I gotta compare and contrast.

[Mike Ryan]

I bet you he just hops on.

[Max Brosmer]

Oh, here we go.

[Mike Ryan]

Railing. And slides down.

[Max Brosmer]

Oh, See, this is no LSU signal going down.

[Stu Guts]

That's a good descent, though. That's a manly descent.

[Max Brosmer]

What?

[Stu Guts]

Yeah. No, he descended the stairs.

[Max Brosmer]

He didn't touch the railing.

[Stu Guts]

Better than Pat Summerall.

[Max Brosmer]

I will say Lane Kiffin did not Pat Summerall.

[Greg Cody]

You made him John Sumrall.

[Stu Guts]

I know that I was making a joke about a 95 year old former.

[Greg Cody]

Broadcaster while running out of breath.

[Mike Ryan]

John Sumrall revealed at his press conference that Lane told him to take the Florida job. Co signed it for half as much money.

[Greg Cody]

Did he tell him that they're offering? I don't think he revealed they're offering you half as much as they offered me. How do you guys say Marcus Mariota? Have you heard it? Have you said it? Have you heard it said any other way ever?

[Mike Ryan]

Always heard it.

[Greg Cody]

Have you ever heard Marcus Mariota said any other way other than the way that I'm saying?

[Stu Guts]

I have not.

[Max Brosmer]

So the way Mike Tirico also said it.

[Roy]

Marcus Mariota.

[Mike Ryan]

Oh, I've heard Mariota, now that you mention it.

[Max Brosmer]

But I would say Mario. It's more of just like the T sound. This is how it's commonly said.

[Greg Cody]

Marcus Mariota.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah, I've heard that.

[Max Brosmer]

And then the Internet was going after Chris Collinsworth because he says it.

[Stu Guts]

Marcus Mariota. Marcus Mariota. No.

[Max Brosmer]

And the Internet was just like, this can't be right. And then. But they replay.

[Tony]

That's not how you say on NBC's.

[Max Brosmer]

Broadcast, they do the starting lineups where the players say their name. So you hear Mariota now saying his name.

[Greg Cody]

Marcus Mariosa.

[Stu Guts]

Yeah.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah.

[Max Brosmer]

It seems like Collinsworth is right.

[Mike Ryan]

No. Marcus doesn't know how to say his own name.

[Greg Cody]

Marcus Mario said.

[Tony]

Hey, sand it wrong.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah.

[Greg Cody]

What?

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah, he got caught up in the air.

[Stu Guts]

He is saying it wrong. Marcus Mariota. I mean, Travis Kelce is Travis Keltz, but he's pronouncing it Kelsey because everybody else does. Doesn't even know his own name.

[Roy]

It's like saying Toronto and Toronto.

[Max Brosmer]

It's exactly like that. What's his which is right?

[Mike Ryan]

He said it. Toronto. The same way both times, right?

[Stu Guts]

Marcus Mariota.

[Tony]

Nah, that's not how you say it.

[Greg Cody]

Marcus Mariota.

[Roy]

That guy's wrong.

[Max Brosmer]

That's all I'm gonna say from now on.

[Stu Guts]

Mariota.

[Mike Ryan]

I can't shake Andy Reid tickling tonsils.

[Greg Cody]

It was graphic. It was lecherous. We're gonna try to tickle your tonsils on every play.

[Mike Ryan]

The little chuckle there.

[Greg Cody]

It's all of it. It's not.

[Max Brosmer]

Does he see a reaction?

[Greg Cody]

It's all creepy.

[Mike Ryan]

You wake up in a dark, damp room. You're chained to a wall, and you hear this disembodied voice.

[Greg Cody]

We're gonna try to tickle your tonsils on every play, every game.

[Stu Guts]

Saw all five.

[Mike Ryan]

I'm begging for death.

[Greg Cody]

We're gonna try to tickle your tonsils. His voice is dragging through gravel. It is how it is. It is how it is. We're gonna try to tickle your tonsils on every play.

[Tony]

I didn't know what it meant at first, but now that I do know, I don't like it.

[Greg Cody]

I know that a lot of people listening to this are bothered over the years and I get it that my tone can be strident and know it all. Okay, I know that guilty of this. But there are a handful of things that I am really, really wrong about, and one of them is the entirety of Dylan Brooks. I don't know if you guys saw this game last night where he is taunting LeBron James. He's been calling him old for a while. When Memphis got rid of Dylan Brooks, I thought he wouldn't play in the NBA again. I thought it was laughable that Houston gave him $80 million. I was surprised how good Houston last night without Devin Booker with Dylan brooks going for 30 something points. Dylan Brooks is making Phoenix be a good team. Better than I thought they were. Dylan Brooks is a lot better as a basketball player than I ever thought he was at Memphis in the room.

[Tony]

I know there's no real way to. You're right. And I know there's no real way to actually quantify this, but Dylan Brooks is a good player. And what I mean by that is this is a guy who now three teams have. They were terrible. Franchises were in a terrible spot, and he has helped them get to a different kind of culture, like a winning kind of culture. Like I said, you can't really quantify that. But Memphis was bad. He was there the only time they were good. They're terrible now. He went to a bad Houston team. And I know they have Durant now, but before that, he helped them get back on track. They traded him in the Durant deal. Phoenix terrible. And now Phoenix. Phoenix is good. They're 13, nine. Like Dillon Brooks is clearly a good piece for a winning team.

[Roy]

All right, look, it's the holidays again and people are running around and getting stressed out and they're asking me, Roy, what should I get? What should I do? Give me some recipes. And every year I tell them the same exact thing. Gets meat. It's not that hard. It's not that complicated. It's meat. In Omaha Steaks, they deliver the world's best steak experience. USDA certified tender steaks. It tastes like someone actually cares about you. Burgers, steaks, comfort meals, all that stuff makes you go, mm, that'll work. And now, during the cyber sale, you can get 50% off site wide and an extra 20% off select [e-mail] plus all listeners get an extra $35 off with promo Dan at checkout I've had Omaha Steaks many times. I've given them out too. People lose their minds. You hand them that box and suddenly they think you're the greatest human alive. Five generations, same family, 100% guarantee. Save big on unforgettable gifts with omaha steaks. Visit omahasteaks.com for 50% off site wide and an extra 20% off select favorites during the cyber sale. And for an extra $35 off, use promo code DAN at checkout. That's Omaha Steaks.com promo code D A N at checkout. Tons. Apply see site for details.

[Oli]

Thursday Night Football's on and it's only on Prime Video. This week, the Dallas Cowboys take on the Detroit Lions in a new rivalry with lots of heat. Coverage begins at 7pm Eastern with football's best party TNF tonight. Not a Prime member? Not a problem. Simply sign up for a 30 day free trial. It's the Cowboys and Lions Thursday at 7pm Eastern on Only on Prime Video. Restrictions apply. See Amazon.comamazonprime for details.

[Dan Le Batard]

You ever find yourself late night scrolling adding stuff to your cart you absolutely don't need? And then you see it. The beautiful glowing purple shop pay button.

[Stu Guts]

Boom.

[Dan Le Batard]

Checkout. Done. You didn't even have to get up and find your wallet. That, my friends, is Shopify magic. That little purple button means that store is powered by Shopify, which doesn't just make it easy to buy, but ridiculously easy to start and run your own business too. Whether you're a giant like Mattel or Gymshark or just launching something weird from your garage like Greg Cody's garage, Shopify has your back. Let's be real. If we can run a show with this much chaos, you can run a business with Shopify. With hundreds of beautiful templates. Tools for payments, inventory, analytics, marketing. It's all in one place. And yes, that purple button. It's why Shopify has the best converting checkout on the planet. Shopify. It's how real businesses get built. If you want to see less carts being abandoned, it's time for you to head over to Shopify. Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.com batard go to shopify.com batard shopify.com.

[Greg Cody]

Don.

[Stu Guts]

Lebatard a woman who was out swimming with her friends is believed to have been swallowed whole by a 13 foot shark without any of her friends noticing. That's the weirdest part about that story. You're Swimming with friends. You're having a good time, and then all of a sudden people are looking around going, where's Shelly? Like, nobody screamed.

[Tony]

Every friend group has a Shelly, though.

[Greg Cody]

That if they go missing because a.

[Tony]

Shark ate them whole, you wouldn't notice. Classic Shelly.

[Greg Cody]

Exactly right.

[Stu Guts]

Yeah.

[Mike Ryan]

Stug.

[Stu Guts]

She went quietly, apparently. If I'm swallowed whole by a shark, you're going to know it.

[Greg Cody]

This is the Dan Levatar show with the stugats. Let me explain to you how mismanaged the Phoenix Suns have been, because Ishbia has been a disaster. Okay? In 23 months, it's three coaches. He owes $85 million. Okay? That's 23 months, three coaches, $85 million. They pay Beal 19 million a year through 2030. They're going to pay Bradley Peel to play for the Clippers.

[Tony]

Counting against his cap each of those years.

[Greg Cody]

Yes, 19 million a year. They've got the highest payroll in the league, and they don't control any of their picks through 2031, they are a disaster. Like that trade for Kevin Durant could not have been worse. Everything they built there highest payroll in the league. It's not good enough to try and fix that with Dillon Brooks, but when Devin Booker went out last night, Dillon Brooks continues to remind LeBron that he's old. And LeBron barely got to 10 points last night. LeBron's still got that streak where he goes double digits every game, and he barely got to 10 points. And the chase down that he always does. You could hear Brooks screaming in the arena. It got so quiet because LeBron couldn't chase him down. The idea that I'm watching Dillon Brooks be. I understand that LeBron is the oldest player in the league, but then I'm watching the taunts and then I'm getting Dylan Brooks gets to beat LeBron and gets the last laugh with LeBron. Like, that's just not something I ever saw coming.

[Tony]

You saw how it went down with LeBron to reach the streak. You know, Greg, he's got this. I mean, it's forever where he reaches double figures. I mean, they're getting smoked in the fourth. They're only 26. LeBron stuck on seven points, right? He hits it. He hits a three with six minutes left in the game. They immediately take him out. After that, they're getting smoked.

[Greg Cody]

And Dillon Brooks is posting up his son as well. Like, late in the game, like, he was just taunting everything. He is such a good villain. I don't know that. Does that sport right now have a better villain? You got Draymond Green. You got Draymond Green. Do you have something who's someone who's embracing the villainous role better than Dylan Brooks?

[Stu Guts]

I will say this about Dylan Brooks. The gall of that man. And I'm speaking from the broad view, obviously the gall of Dylan Brooks who's never made an all star team. He's a 30 year old journeyman criticizing LeBron James. The gall.

[Tony]

He's a good player.

[Stu Guts]

He's a good player.

[Greg Cody]

He's a good player and he's a better villain.

[Dan Le Batard]

He's having a great year.

[Stu Guts]

He's a good.

[Greg Cody]

That's Tony's music.

[Max Brosmer]

That's right, Dan. It's Tony's top five. And it's presented by Smirnoff, the official vodka sponsor of the National Football League. Smirnoff, Please drink responsibly. The Smirnoff Company, New York, N.Y. 40. Alcohol by volume.

[Greg Cody]

How many? Oli we got? Tony?

[Oli]

No Oli, Dan. We're going straight top five. Today. I'm at the Dade county courthouse, a staple here.

[Max Brosmer]

Somewhere else we can get kicked out of?

[Oli]

Top five.

[Greg Cody]

Five.

[Oli]

No, this is public land. I pay for this.

[Dan Le Batard]

Visiting a.

[Oli]

This building right here, I pay for.

[Mike Ryan]

Wow.

[Oli]

Everybody pays for this right here. So I can videotape here as much as I want.

[Greg Cody]

Number five.

[Oli]

Number five. Would there really be a difference between me and Max Brosmer this weekend? 19 of 30, 126 yards, four picks, four sacks, and a QBR of 5.6.

[Max Brosmer]

Yes. You would have been worse.

[Greg Cody]

I thought to myself yesterday, okay. I thought to myself, when Young way KU is kicking the ground and I see what I think is the greatest panic situation you ever see in football, which is the holder just running and no one's out in a. In a pass pattern. I thought to myself, that's the most panic that a player ever feels on a field. Except for Max Brosmer.

[Tony]

Will Li. Will Levis did that last year, right?

[Stu Guts]

Yeah.

[Greg Cody]

The.

[Dan Le Batard]

The.

[Greg Cody]

The sheer panic three times in a row of. Of. Of Max Brosmer or Brosmer.

[Oli]

Is.

[Tony]

It cares?

[Greg Cody]

Okay. Who cares? Fair enough. No, number four.

[Oli]

Number four, Dave Canales. Dano, he's got the wherewithal.

[Greg Cody]

What does that. What does that mean?

[Max Brosmer]

He's right, though. Look at him.

[Stu Guts]

7 and 6.

[Greg Cody]

What does that mean? 7 and 6.

[Stu Guts]

That's some werewolf all right there.

[Oli]

Last year we talked.

[Roy]

Exactly.

[Oli]

Last year we talked about can Dave Canalis have the wherewithal to stick with Bryce Young to make this Panthers team interesting? And then all of a sudden this year you come. You Counted them as dead. Now they're 7 and 6 a game. A game. Back in the loss column from the Bucs and the afs in the NFC South. Like anything could happen. He's got the wherewithal.

[Max Brosmer]

Best. Best Adam's apple in the entire league.

[Greg Cody]

Put it on the poll at LeBatard show. Does Canales have the best Adam's apple in the entire league? Number three.

[Oli]

Number three.

[Stu Guts]

Dan.

[Oli]

Hold on. I'm gonna need to take something out here real quick. A prop. You know, who has won their last four games with an average margin, a victory of 27 and a half points.

[Stu Guts]

Dan.

[Greg Cody]

I do not.

[Roy]

Oh, you don't?

[Oli]

Okay.

[Mike Ryan]

That's impressive.

[Oli]

Give me a second. Give me a second.

[Stu Guts]

Oh, yeah.

[Oli]

Oh, the Miami Hurricanes, Dan.

[Roy]

Oh, wow.

[Oli]

The Miami Hurricanes.

[Mike Ryan]

Are you quantum?

[Oli]

Last four games, average margin of victory, 27 and a half points.

[Greg Cody]

I thought we were doing NFL football. I thought. But I thought you were asking me about an NFL team. I didn't know you were asking me about a college team. You never put college jobs reservations in here.

[Oli]

All I said is football. I said, you know, football team. Who's won the last four. Average margin of victory, 27 and a half points.

[Mike Ryan]

Miami Hurricanes.

[Stu Guts]

Coming up.

[Greg Cody]

Number two.

[Oli]

Exactly right. Thank you, Greg.

[Stu Guts]

You're welcome.

[Oli]

Number two. You know who hasn't passed the smell test? Ou? More like pu. Oklahoma. Please. Are you kidding me?

[Stu Guts]

Oklahoma.

[Oli]

They can't score on anybody, and all of a sudden they're gonna be inside of the top of the top 12 as a college football playoff team. For what?

[Greg Cody]

They stink. Oh, you Sucks.

[Mike Ryan]

Pu.

[Greg Cody]

Dan, how did this become college? Observations, number one.

[Oli]

Number one, Dan, if the canes are left out of the CFP playoff, we're taking the fight all the way up to the Supreme Court. Which is why I'm here at the Dade County Courthouse right now. I'm going to go inside and make sure everybody knows if there's any college football playoff voters in there.

[Max Brosmer]

There.

[Oli]

I'm going to let him know that this is a travesty and we're going to take this thing to the Supreme Court. Dan, I've been sent here by the Department of War for the University of Miami. And I'm not going to be careful until we make things right. Okay?

[Greg Cody]

I would like to see by the end of the show, you, having gathered a crowd of protesters trying to attack justice and democracy on behalf of the.

[Tony]

University of Miami, pointing out James Madison.

[Dan Le Batard]

28.25 points per game is the margin of victory over the last four games.

[Mike Ryan]

Impressive when you consider that also includes their four point squeaker against Wazoo.

[Greg Cody]

Don't you forget, you know, just have to score late against Virginia Tech, Old Dominion. Thank you, Tony. We appreciate all of your work. Appreciate you changing your top five from NFL observations, the last three outrage about this injustice around the University of Miami. I think you speak for the entirety of the city. I do not know if Mario Cristobal is going to join the show. I am offended that I am being told I do not know ball and that is the reason and that Mario Cristobal will not come on the show because I don't know ball words out there. I will remain offended by this. I think you guys should be offended on my behalf.

[Mike Ryan]

Put me in a tough spot here because while it helps the cause, putting Mario crystal ball on this platform, I don't want to. I don't want him to endure speaking with you.

[Stu Guts]

Yeah. Not knower.

[Tony]

If we get Chris one, you're going to grill him?

[Roy]

No.

[Greg Cody]

What's the grilling to be done, Saskatoon? What is the grilling?

[Mike Ryan]

You just prop them up and you let them knock them down. That's what you do.

[Max Brosmer]

You say, all right, coach, go.

[Greg Cody]

What's going to happen here, though? Like what needs to happen? What do you think is gonna happen? There is an obvious propaganda movement. This is Saban taught this to us where all of a sudden, after a season in which he lost games that were unexpected, you would see him making the arguments everywhere and would be given the platform that other coaches weren't necessarily given to appear everywhere. I expect to see Mario Cristobal doing nothing but interviews for the until they're making the determinations. So what needs to happen and what is going to happen over the next few hours and days?

[Tony]

He should be on every show. He should be on all the national shows, especially over the weekend when the Hurricanes are not going to be playing and all these other teams who are ahead of them in the rankings are going to be playing in conference championship games. Mario, Mario's got to go everywhere. He can go everywhere.

[Mike Ryan]

He can be undeniable. You're 10 and 2 and a lot of the metrics that people were citing when you were 6 and 2 are now in your favor because you played the season out. Common opponents, whether it be Notre Dame or Alabama or Texas with that loser head coach that just lost one game wheels to Florida in a game that they had more yards in against Texas than they had combined in their most two recent battles against Miami Hurricanes and Mario Cristobal. So you have all the arguments right now. Head to head. As we, as you've applied. Head to head, as you mentioned, guys, head to head in this top 15 has mattered throughout the rankings. And there's one outlier. What have we been told? Well, then it's the quality loss. Okay, well, quality loss doesn't apply to Alabama. I guess everything that we know about the College Football Playoff committee's criteria that has been outlined and I guess doesn't apply to Miami head to head. So I think that if you look at conference championship weekend, I was a big believer and you shouldn't be punished for losing your conference championship. I think that's bullshit. But if they're gonna bullshit me, bullshit em back.

[Greg Cody]

You know what's weird? I'm trying not to be prisoner of the moment with what I'm about to say, but I genuinely, as I think here cannot recall a time when the NFL, college football and the Heisman are so wide open. Like, I just have no idea who's going to win any of those things. You're not going to convince me that the Bears or the Patriots are going to win the Super Bowl.

[Stu Guts]

You're not.

[Greg Cody]

You, you cannot. I will not believe it until after it's happened and then I still won't believe it.

[Mike Ryan]

Rams just lost to the Panthers. It's really like a strange time.

[Greg Cody]

I have no idea. We're in December and I have no idea who's going to win any of those three things. I don't know who's going to win the Heisman. My vote is due soon. I don't know who's going. I don't know. I don't know who's going to win in college football. And I don't know who's going to win professional football.

[Dan Le Batard]

You're gonna vote for Malachi Tony, aren't you?

[Tony]

Probably two of the three you mentioned there are exciting. Even though we don't know what's going to happen, I don't find the Heisen's got a lot of juice right now.

[Greg Cody]

Okay. It doesn't have to have a lot of juice. I just don't know who's going to win it.

[Mike Ryan]

Pavia Mendoza. Jeremiah Love. Who?

[Dan Le Batard]

Drew Mer.

[Mike Ryan]

I'd like to remind everybody Jeremiah Love had 33 yards against Miami when he actually lined up against big time competition. Then you're speaking to something that annoys me so much about college football right now is people are still applying this arrogance from like 10 years ago in which they feel matter of factly they know what's going to happen when they play these games. Despite parody Being all over that sport. Anybody can beat anybody inside a certain group. It's a hard sport. Winning is hard week in and week out. And for someone to just look at their poll ranking, see where other people slot them and say, well, Notre Dame would beat Miami if they played today. By which metric? Recency bias. Because you lose that one. Two. I don't understand how people are so naive entering this process to think that they know better when a result is staring them in the face, telling you quantifiably who is better and you choose to ignore it, thinking that you know better. It's I think half the top 25. I think 15 of the top 25 teams in the preseason rank ended up unranked. Greg, we don't know shit.

[Greg Cody]

How can we be in professional football 3/4 of the way through the season and in college football at the end of the season and not have any idea about those three things? Who's gonna win college football's championship? Who's gonna win pro football's champion? Who's going to win the Heisman? How can we still be asking after this much ball has been played? How can I be such a not ball knower that I'm sitting here saying to you, I don't know who's good?

[Stu Guts]

Isn't it great, though? It's great. I love that. And Ruben Baines should get your Heisman.

[Greg Cody]

Vote, by the way.

[Stu Guts]

And Louisville and SMU both, both were ranked this season. They both were ranked.

[Greg Cody]

I think I'm going to make it, Tony. I'm going to make it. Tony, Bane and Beck, top three. What do you think?

[Mike Ryan]

I think Mario Cristobal is going to be joining us this week.

[Dan Le Batard]

You people are a joke.

[Mike Ryan]

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[Greg Cody]

Cuervo? Anytime someone says Cuervo, I show up.

[Mike Ryan]

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[Greg Cody]

Sweet, delicious Cuervo.

[Mike Ryan]

Since then, Cuervo has stayed true to its roots. The same family, the same land, the same passion.

[Greg Cody]

Cuervo.

[Mike Ryan]

So enjoy the tequila that started it all. Cuervo. Cuervo, the tequila that invented tequila.

[Max Brosmer]

Roximo.

[Mike Ryan]

Cuervo.com Please drink responsibly.

[Greg Cody]

Cuervo.