The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz – "Hour 1: The Poop Picker Uppers"

Date: December 2, 2025
Location: Elser Hotel, Downtown Miami
Hosts: Dan Le Batard, Stugotz, Greg Cody, Mike Ryan, Tony, Max Brosmer, Roy, Oli, Chris Cody

Episode Overview

This episode delivers the usual collision of sports, pop culture, and comedic banter the show is known for, with a special “Greg Cody Tuesday” focus. The main throughlines span heated debates over dog poop etiquette, the economics and politics of college football coaching hires (especially Lane Kiffin’s wild contract), and whether sports leadership is ever really as meaningful as fans hope. Interspersed are playful top-five lists, musings on villainy in the NBA, and whimsical discussions about proper name pronunciation. The crew’s signature blend of sarcasm, irreverence, and rooting for Miami shines throughout.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Greg Cody's "Back in My Day" Segment Controversy

• Discussion:
  • Stugotz admits he hasn’t prepared a “Back in My Day”, citing writing deadlines ([02:36], [02:47]).
  • Greg Cody and others roast him for “quitting” his main assignment, drawing parallels to accountability he demands from athletes.
  • Stugotz argues for evolving roles:
    “People change. People evolve.” ([03:15] – Stugotz)
• Insight: The show pokes fun at themselves and workplace dynamics, blending accountability with trademark self-deprecation.

2. The "Poop Picker Uppers" & Pet Etiquette

• Greg’s “Gripes of Wrath” Segment Recap:
  • Stugotz claims people fake picking up after their dogs, using empty/”toy poop” bags to display virtue without the work ([04:49]-[05:17]).
  • Mixed reactions: Some defend diligent poop pickers; others sheepishly admit to backyard neglect.
  • Chris Cody confesses: He pays a service $15/week to handle dog waste in his yard ([07:13]).

    Stugotz: “Next thing, you're gonna pay somebody to wipe your ass for you.” ([07:25])

• Memorable Quote:
  “If you're carrying around the bag of poop, you're going to…” – Greg Cody ([05:07])
• Discussed Dilemmas:
  • Should people pick up after their dogs on “common ground”? Opinions vary ([06:28]-[06:33]).
  • Is faking the act more about neighborly optics than actual cleanliness? ([08:33])
• Show’s Stance: The group lands somewhere between gleeful cynicism and mild civic guilt.

3. Santa-Looking Coaches: Mike Ryan’s Top Five

• Segment Setup:
  • Mike presents a list of coaches “most like Santa,” spanning all sports, judged by looks and vibe ([08:50]-[11:16]).
• Top Picks Include:
  • Bob Wiley, Howard Schnellenberger, Rob Ryan, Lovie Smith
• Notable Moment:
  “His beard is on his chest. That is absolutely a beard that has fallen from his face and is just a tuft of hair.” – Greg Cody ([10:15])
• Santa Coach Quote:

  “Number five, Bob Wiley, former Browns offensive line coach. Famous for going and his tummy moving.” – Mike Ryan ([09:50])

4. Lane Kiffin, Coaching Contracts, and “Hope Trafficking”

• College Football Leadership Farce:
  • Dan rails against the public’s obsession with “leadership heroes,” citing Lane Kiffin’s extravagant LSU contract (65 hours of private jet time, endless perks) ([14:45]-[17:13]).
  • The absurdity of coaches earning bonuses for former teams’ successes is dissected.
  • Comparison to Brian Kelly’s contentious contract experience at LSU.
• Political Involvement:
  • Clip played of Louisiana Governor Landry grandstanding about sports contracts—only to greenlight another, even wilder one ([17:36]-[20:26]).
  • “This governor turned out to be a clown. Give me a break.” – Tony ([19:09])
• Show’s Tone: Deep skepticism—both of politicians and the mythos of football’s “leader-saviors.”

5. Fake Leadership & the New Florida Coach’s Arrival

• Gator Chomp Analysis:
  • The optics of a new Florida coach descending jet stairs while “doing the Gator Chomp” is hilariously scrutinized:

    “He’s coming down the stairs while also doing the Gator Chomp... at a discount. Half as much as Lane Kiffin.” – Greg Cody ([23:25])

• Jovial Hypocrisy:
  • The performative nature of these introductions elicits both ridicule and reluctant admiration ([23:59]-[24:30]).

6. Name Pronunciation Rabbit Hole

• Marcus Mariota or Mariota?
  • The proper pronunciation launches a roundtable riff, after a TV broadcaster pronounces it different from the norm ([25:35]-[26:14]).

  “Marcus doesn’t know how to say his own name.” – Mike Ryan ([26:11])

7. Dillon Brooks: NBA Villainy & Redemption

• Topic: Changing perceptions about Dillon Brooks’ impact and talent, after initially dismissing him as a “fraud” and a “laughable” overpay by Houston ([27:28]-[28:29]).
• Brooks’ Impact:
  • Instrumental in lifting downtrodden teams’ culture – from Memphis to Houston to Phoenix.
  • Cements himself as “a better villain” than Draymond Green?

    “Does that sport right now have a better villain?” – Greg Cody ([34:56])

• Show’s Admission: Willingness to admit they “didn’t know ball” on this subject.

8. Tony’s Top Five (From Dade County Courthouse)

• Format: Tony’s “observations” segment mixes NFL and college notes, delivered with location-based flair ([35:30]-[39:41]).
• Notable Observations:
  • Miami Hurricanes outscoring opponents by >28 pts in last four games.
  • Oklahoma (“PU”) called out as playoff frauds.
  • Playfully threatens Supreme Court action if Miami is left out of the CFP:

    “We’re taking the fight all the way up to the Supreme Court... I’ve been sent here by the Department of War for the University of Miami...” – Tony ([39:00])

9. College Football Playoff Chaos: Who Deserves What?

• Debate:
  • Should Mario Cristobal, Miami’s coach, be on a media blitz to sell his team for a playoff bid?
  • The committee’s shifting standards on “quality losses,” “head-to-head,” and “conference championships” are roasted ([41:21]-[42:40]).
  • Mike: “If they’re gonna bullshit me, bullshit ‘em back.”
• Wide-Open Races:
  • Greg Cody reflects: NFL, college football, and even the Heisman Trophy are true toss-ups this year ([42:40]-[43:28]).

  “How can we still be asking after this much ball has been played? ... I don’t know who’s good.” – Greg Cody ([44:45])

10. Miscellaneous Fun

• Wild News:
  • Bizarre shark attack story: a woman is swallowed whole while swimming with friends, nobody notices ([32:12]-[32:39]).

    “If I’m swallowed whole by a shark, you’re going to know it.” – Stugotz ([32:41])

• Rapid-fire Bits:
  • Riffs on “matching pajamas” (Oli)
  • Omaha Steaks promo with Roy’s comic deadpan
  • The joys and perils of late-night online shopping sprees (Dan)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

| Timestamp | Speaker | Quote/Description | |-----------|-----------|------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 03:15 | Stugotz | “People change. People evolve.” | | 04:49 | Stugotz | “Yeah, they’re all frauds. If I see somebody walking...with one of those little plastic bags...He knows he isn’t. I know he isn’t.” | | 07:13 | Max B. | “15 bucks. They come twice a week. And now I don’t have to worry about stepping in poop in my backyard.” | | 05:07 | Greg Cody | “If you're carrying around the bag of poop, you're going to...” | | 10:15 | Greg Cody | “That is absolutely a beard that has fallen from his face and is just a tuft of hair.” | | 17:13 | Tony | “It’s one of the wildest incentive clauses I’ve ever seen.” | | 19:09 | Tony | “This governor turned out to be a clown. Give me a break.” | | 23:25 | Greg Cody | “He’s coming down the stairs while also doing the Gator Chomp...at a discount. Half as much as Lane Kiffin.” | | 26:11 | Mike Ryan | “Marcus doesn’t know how to say his own name.” | | 27:28 | Greg Cody | “[Dillon Brooks] is a lot better as a basketball player than I ever thought he was in Memphis.” | | 34:56 | Greg Cody | “Does that sport right now have a better villain?” | | 39:00 | Tony | “We’re taking the fight all the way up to the Supreme Court...I’ve been sent here by the Department of War for the University of Miami...” | | 44:45 | Greg Cody | “How can we… not have any idea about those three things? Who’s gonna win college football’s championship? Who’s gonna win pro football’s champion? Who’s going to win the Heisman?...I don’t know who’s good.” | | 32:41 | Stugotz | “If I’m swallowed whole by a shark, you’re going to know it.” |

Timestamps for Key Segments

• “Back in My Day” Segment Debate: [02:36] – [04:49]
• Dog Poop Picker Uppers/Service Confessions: [04:49] – [07:27]
• Fake Poop Bags & Social Optics: [08:06] – [08:49]
• Santa Coaches Top Five: [08:49] – [11:16]
• Lane Kiffin Contract & Hope Trafficking: [14:45] – [20:26]
• New Coach Gator Chomp Analysis: [23:08] – [24:30]
• Name Pronunciation Sidetrack: [25:29] – [26:15]
• Dillon Brooks, NBA Villainy: [27:28] – [35:19]
• Tony’s Top Five (Live Courthouse Bit): [35:30] – [39:41]
• College Football Playoff Arguments: [41:21] – [42:40]
• Wide-Open Sports Races: [42:40] – [44:45]

Episode Tone & Takeaways

• Vibe: Playful, irreverent, and self-aware, the hosts jab at sports conventions, local Miami flavor, and each other.
• Seriousness: Even as topics turn weighty (sports contracts, political hypocrisy), it’s all filtered through humor and a knowing wink.
• Miami Love: The city’s teams and characters are never far from the spotlight, with genuine emotion (and campy protest) for the Hurricanes and familiar frustration with college football’s gatekeepers.

Useful For: Anyone interested in college football’s coaching carousel, Miami sports culture, or simply in need of a smart, funny window into how major sporting events and micro neighborhood squabbles alike are processed by one of sports-talk’s most entertaining crews.

This summary omits ad reads, show intros/outros, and non-content sections, focusing on core topics and the entertaining banter that makes the Dan Le Batard Show a South Florida staple.