Hour 1: You Can Cut That Gas Station Tension with a Knife

Summary

The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz

Episode: Hour 1: You Can Cut That Gas Station Tension with a Knife
Date: September 25, 2025
Location: Elser Hotel, Downtown Miami
Hosts: Dan Le Batard, Stugotz, Jonathan Zaslow, and contributors

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Overview

This episode delivers the show’s trademark blend of South Florida sports, irreverent social commentary, and absurdist banter. The crew discusses NFL coaching, awkward gas station encounters, the changing nature of football strategy, the spectacle and nostalgia of late-night TV, and the curious politics of college coaches.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Bill Belichick, Hypocrisy, and Media Control

• Discussion: The crew digs into public opinions of Bill Belichick, reacting to accusations of hypocrisy tied to him being portrayed in tabloids.
• Stugotz argues: “He has no control over what Us Weekly does. He doesn't have any control over that. And now I'm insisting that we get video of you booing him from the stands. You've called him the greatest hypocrite in sports.” [01:37]
• Dan Le Batard adds: The difference between what media can cover now vs. what coaches can control.
• The group wryly debates media censorship in the U.S., with Stugotz quipping: “There is no such thing as censorship in this country.” [02:29]

2. Stugotz’s Gas Station Tension Story

• Stugotz recounts: An incredibly awkward encounter at what he thought was a self-service gas station, only to accidentally pull into full service (which he thought was extinct), and then meeting a stranger convinced Stugotz was Dan Le Batard.
  • “I made the mistake of pulling in accidentally into full service. I didn’t know that we did that anymore. I was not even aware that full service at a gas station was still a thing.” [03:18]
  • The story spins into confusion, with the stranger claiming to have gone to college with Dan Le Batard, not realizing he’s talking to Stugotz.
  • Banter erupts over old-person cars and gas station etiquette.
• Dan:
  • “If someone tosses you their car keys because they think you're the valet, are you stealing their car if you keep it?” [07:58]
  • Group quickly turns the situation into a mock courtroom segment with play-acted judgments.

3. Mike Tomlin’s Fears & Coaches Wanting Weak Opponents

• Stugotz shares: A Mike Tomlin soundbite regarding his preference to face less experienced QBs.
  • “Mike Tomlin doesn't have a lot of fears in life, but one of the fears that he does have is a veteran quarterback.” [09:39]
  • Tomlin’s quote: “Keep Richardson upright, don’t put Flacco in the game. And, you know, Flacco ended up in the game.” [10:37]
  • The crew riffs on how coaches openly root for favorable matchups, drawing a parallel to Belichick’s Super Bowl tactics.

4. NFL “Dentek Bucket” and Fantasy Football Penalties

• Hosts draw teams live: For their ultimate fantasy football punishment—lots of lamenting bad draws and lucky streaks.
  • “Let's see, Jeremy is going to go first here. We are going to be paying some penalties next week.” [15:18]
  • Notable moment: Zaslow’s disappointment at drawing the Panthers.
  • Banter over team value, point spreads, and whether certain teams are even tolerable to watch.
  • Stugotz: “Titans aren’t a lot of fun to watch.” [18:31]

5. NFL Strategy: Defensive Chess Match or Boring Football?

• Debate unfolds about the direction of NFL offenses and defenses.
  • Dan: “I don't hear or see a lot of people complaining about the way that the turnover has become such a precious thing that all quarterbacks are playing really conservative.” [18:51]
  • Key theme: The NFL’s shift toward conservative passing and short throws to avoid turnovers, inspired both by coaching philosophy and defensive adaptation.
  • Zaslow: “I actually love where the game's at right now because I like seeing defenses have a shot to compete. It's more of a chess match and you get to actually see athletes on both sides.” [23:14]
  • Dan laments boring Chiefs games now and the “entertainment” factor diminished by defensive strategy.
  • Argument over whether the “Tush Push” (Eagles’ short-yardage play) should be outlawed for aesthetics or competitive balance.

6. Late Night TV’s Changing Landscape

• Dan reflects: On the mass viewing numbers for Jimmy Kimmel and what they say about the future of TV.
  • “Six million plus post 11:30pm Eastern on television...more than 20 million on YouTube. Obviously none of that is going to sustain.” [32:25]
  • Explains how changing media consumption habits are eroding legacy formats like late night variety shows.
  • Stugotz: Recalls ABC’s early late night shows, including Politically Incorrect and Nightline. [33:01]
• Jonathan Zaslow’s take: Politicians’ reactions to media controversies are more about self-interest and future risks than core principles.
  • “They don't want to be paying for the checks that Donald Trump is writing right now, because they know the response...the pendulum swings.” [35:52]

7. Bruce Pearl’s Exit from Auburn & Nepotism in Coaching

• Topic: Auburn men’s basketball coach Bruce Pearl abruptly retires, paving the way for his unqualified son to be named interim.
  • Dan: “You're anti-DEI but the way that you retired when you knew you were going to retire, you did it so that they had to take your kid...I’ve seen Dean Smith do that. I thought Dean Smith earned it more.”
    • Followed by a deadpan aside: “Also a cheater and also someone who lies. But he is a great basketball coach.” [38:59]
  • Zaslow: “It's a Tony Bennett move. This is a separate conversation for whatever Bruce Pearl is going to do with his career afterwards. But this ain't fooling anybody. Jack.” [40:30]
  • Notable exchange on whether such “good fathering” is also sinister.
  • Broader point: College sports power brokers are just “salesmen”—not true educators, just agents after their cut.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “[Belichick] has no control over what Us Weekly does. He doesn't have any control over that.” – Stugotz [01:37]

• “I made the mistake of pulling in accidentally into full service. I didn’t know that we did that anymore. I was not even aware that full service at a gas station was still a thing.” – Stugotz [03:18]

• “Put it on the poll at Le Batard show: if someone tosses you their car keys because they think you're the valet, are you stealing their car if you keep it?” – Dan Le Batard [07:58]

• “Mike Tomlin doesn't have a lot of fears in life, but one of the fears that he does have is a veteran quarterback.” – Stugotz [09:39]

• “I actually love where the game’s at right now because I like seeing defenses have a shot to compete...you get to see athletes on both sides.” – Jonathan Zaslow [23:14]

• “Six million plus post 11:30pm Eastern on television...more than 20 million on YouTube. Obviously none of that is going to sustain.” – Dan Le Batard [32:25]

• “You're anti-DEI, but the way that you retired when you knew you were going to retire, you did it so that they had to take your kid...” – Dan Le Batard [38:59]

• “It's good fathering. But honestly, like why, why does Auburn have to go along with it?” – Dan Le Batard [41:45]

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Noteworthy Timestamps

• 01:37 – Stugotz on Belichick and controlling his public narrative
• 03:18 – Stugotz’s gas station full-service confusion
• 07:58 – Dan floats the “valet car keys theft” moral dilemma
• 10:37 – Mike Tomlin’s “keep Richardson upright, don’t put Flacco in” [Sound byte & analysis]
• 15:18 – Dentek Bucket: hosts draw fantasy football penalties live
• 18:51 – NFL conservative play debate; turnover obssession
• 23:14 – Zaslow’s defense of the chess match between NFL offenses/defenses
• 27:10 – The crew debates banning the “Tush Push”
• 32:25 – Dan breaks down late night TV’s declining influence
• 35:52 – Zaslow on politicians protecting future interests in media controversies
• 38:59 – Bruce Pearl’s nepotistic move at Auburn dissected
• 41:45 – Should Auburn accept Pearl’s son as interim coach?

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Tone and Flow

True to form, the episode is breezy, irreverent, and relentlessly digressive—serious topics mixed with inside jokes and playful grievances. Sports analysis is intertwined with commentary on media, culture, and the inner workings of the show itself. The conversation pivots quickly—one minute discussing the morality of gas station etiquette, the next breaking down football tactics or late-night TV’s existential crisis.

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For listeners and fans:
You’ll find the segments on awkward gas station etiquette, football strategy, media meta-commentary, and the Bruce Pearl nepotism flap especially lively—each laced with the Le Batard Show’s signature mix of cynicism, comedy, and candid debate.

Transcript

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[Stugotz]

I think that Zaslo is being horribly unfair to Bill Belichick. He has no control over what Us Weekly does. He doesn't have any control over that. And now I'm insisting that we get video of you booing him from the stands. You've called him the greatest hypocrite in in sports and I think the only thing he's done wrong here is get outscored in his two losses this year, 82 to 23. They are 132nd out of 134 teams in offense. They are only ahead of Western Michigan and UMass in offense because they are terrible at offense.

[Dan Le Batard]

60 Minutes asked Bill Belichick a question on camera and Jordan Hudson said, we're not going to talk about that. And you're telling me they can't get a cover pulled from Us Weekly.

[Stugotz]

I am telling you that yes, there is no such thing as censorship in this country that you can control what it is that the magazines are doing.

[Jonathan Zaslow]

Are you sure?

[Stugotz]

Not yet. Anyway. They're trying, but not yet.

[Jonathan Zaslow]

Now, Carr was joking around.

[Stugotz]

Okay, I. I have for you guys an interaction that I had yesterday. And I'm not making any of this up. This is exactly how the interaction went. There was more to the interaction than what I'm going to tell you was at a gas station, somebody pulls up next to me.

[Jonathan Zaslow]

It was.

[Dan Le Batard]

The whole interaction was just you going like this.

[Stugotz]

Nope. It was not just two fingers. Windshield wiped over my head to say hello from afar. But it is what made me think about this. A person pulls up to me at a gas station. I made the mistake of pulling in accidentally into full service. I didn't know that we did that anymore. I was not even aware that full service at a gas station was still a thing. Were you guys?

[Dan Le Batard]

I didn't think it is.

[Jonathan Zaslow]

Where the hell were you? In New Jersey?

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah. I thought that's only New Jersey.

[Stugotz]

I was on 41st Street. Wait a minute. Where is full service outside of New Jersey? Because I pulled in and I thought it was a normal gas station that didn't have full service. I thought full service was extinct. I didn't think that was a thing. So I accidentally pulled into the wrong place. But this was the interaction. Okay. You look like Dan LeBatard. I do.

[Jonathan Zaslow]

I get that a lot.

[Stugotz]

Thank you for getting in the way of my story and fouling up the middle of it. And then the next thing that he says is, do you get that a lot? I do. And then he looks me right in the face and says, I went to college with him and I left. There was no confirmation. He left thinking that I'm not who I am and not recognizing me in any way. From college.

[Jonathan Zaslow]

This is Bruce Feldman. Now, next time, you know, you can one of these.

[Stugotz]

I should have just pointed fingers.

[Jonathan Zaslow]

They know what it is now. Two fingers. Rooney rule.

[Dan Le Batard]

Right?

[Stugotz]

Isn't that. Isn't that.

[Dan Le Batard]

So you said nothing to him when he's like, I went to college with him. Right. Did you acknowledge that it's a cool thing to have gone to college? Cool?

[Stugotz]

No, I didn't.

[Dan Le Batard]

How low was your gas tank? Or was it just long, awkward silences.

[Stugotz]

After I drove away, I thought to myself. I thought to myself, I should have said, was he an asshole? Like, But I didn't. I just. I didn't. I gave him no confirmation that any of that was a real.

[Dan Le Batard]

Well, he left, confirming. He's like, yeah, think he was. Now, while this was happening, were you were. You sitting in your car while he's filling your gas or you're outside?

[Stugotz]

I was. I was pumping the gas because I pulled out of the full service and then moved my car to a place that was no longer.

[Jonathan Zaslow]

Did I feel good in the sinister parts of you. Like, we went to school together. Now you're pumping my gas, pal.

[Stugotz]

No, this was not the person who.

[Jonathan Zaslow]

I can't believe you allowed that to happen.

[Stugotz]

That is not how that happened. You guys fouled up every part of that story. I thank you for the general support that it's why you're the best producers in the business. That's why there's nobody who's got the producers that I do. It's why I'm grateful every day that we have this company that feeds our families.

[Jonathan Zaslow]

Trust us all.

[Dan Le Batard]

So the other. The other guy was pumping his own gas too, or that person was getting their gas pumped?

[Stugotz]

Neither one of us was. Neither one of us was getting full service. Both of us were pumping our own gas.

[Dan Le Batard]

What kind of car did that guy have?

[Stugotz]

It was. It was. It was actually a car. I don't know the model, but when he drove away, I'm like, that's an old person's car. I'm an old person. I don't know who that person was who I went to college with, but he was driving what an old person would drive. It was not a young.

[Dan Le Batard]

What does that mean?

[Jonathan Zaslow]

Harry Rothwell.

[Stugotz]

Just a big. Just a big, lumbering, lumbering Studebaker. He went. Oh, God. When he went.

[Dan Le Batard]

In fairness, people of all ages can be college students. That's going to be a college student in two weeks.

[Stugotz]

Yeah, I'm glad you're fair. This is the time you've chosen to be fair, Billy. It's a good time.

[Dan Le Batard]

Do you feel bad, like when you pulled into full service, the person was probably that. Presumably you give tips to someone that.

[Stugotz]

Again, this is not an employee, this is a person.

[Dan Le Batard]

No, I know, but I love saying you were there. That person. People at the gas station pump your gas. It's just someone out there, like changing the trash. And they're not out there to pump gas. Dan, like, tosses the keys like, all right, there you go. He throws the gas thing at them like, here's the hose. Fill it up, buddy. But did you feel bad like, cuz that person assuming it was full service and not just someone else pumping their gas. So you're like, oh, this person must work here. Assuming that it was a full service gas station, did you feel bad like cuz they saw you stop and then you're like, nevermind, I'm gonna keep going. And they lost like the tip or whatever. Right.

[Stugotz]

I was confused and disoriented by the idea that full service still existed. That's where I was with the situation. And anytime you guys mention anything that involves tossing the keys to somebody, it makes me think of the Zach Thomas story of him standing outside of Joe Stone Crab and somebody handing them him their keys. Cuz they didn't. He was a dolphin. Famous linebacker. They thought he was the valet from the way that he was dressed. And they just handed. They just tossed him there.

[Dan Le Batard]

That car's yours in that instance, right? So I'm wondering, like, is it considered stealing if you then take the car? If. If someone gave me their car keys. They just gave me their car. Yeah, I think so. I think so too.

[Stugotz]

I think that would be theft. Yes.

[Dan Le Batard]

Why would it. You didn't steal it. They gave it to you. Called a mistake. I think that they made. Yeah, that they made. And then Zach Thomas can be like, I'm a football player. I was confused.

[Stugotz]

Put it on the poll at Le Batard show. If someone tosses you their car keys because they think you're the valet, are you stealing their car? If you keep it.

[Dan Le Batard]

If someone gives me something, how am I stealing it? Problem solved.

[Stugotz]

He just gave me the point. Isn't pointing like that, Tony, a rude. In some cultures, isn't.

[Jonathan Zaslow]

Isn't that something With a different finger, maybe? Yeah, with a. With a point. You're good, but points universal.

[Stugotz]

Put it on the poll at Lebatard show. Is pointing at someone in some cultures considered rude. Yes or no?

[Jonathan Zaslow]

All rise. The honorable Jonathan Zaslow now presiding with prejudice.

[Stugotz]

What are we judging here? He already gave his ruling on that.

[Dan Le Batard]

Use the hat we made.

[Jonathan Zaslow]

Yeah, we made a hat.

[Dan Le Batard]

Quiet. The judges here. No producers like us.

[Stugotz]

What are we judging? What do you. What do you.

[Jonathan Zaslow]

Shut up and put.

[Dan Le Batard]

That look ridiculous. I look like a judge. This is my courtroom. Shut up. We are judging whether or not it is theft.

[Stugotz]

You've already answered that question. There's no.

[Jonathan Zaslow]

You didn't have the hat on.

[Dan Le Batard]

Silence. Silence in this courtroom. I will throw you out. We are judging the case before us, which is if someone gives you keys.

[Stugotz]

To their car, you've already made your ruling it.

[Dan Le Batard]

I'm so close to holding you in contempt of court. Is that considered stealing? It is not stealing with prejudice. Forgivable with prejudice.

[Stugotz]

It's not the way to do anything.

[Jonathan Zaslow]

Like your hat.

[Stugotz]

I want to get to the Dentech Bucket in a second. But before we do that, I just want to play for you guys some sound of Mike Thomas. Mike Tomlin doesn't have a lot of fears in life, but one of the fears that he does have is a veteran quarterback. And so here is some Mike Tomlin sound where he is talking about Anthony Richardson, the former Colts quarterback who will never play again for the Colts. He was taken in the first round. He had played all of 15. He had started all of 15 games when they gave him the job last year. And now that job belongs to Daniel Jones, who has one of the great nicknames in the history of sports, Indiana Jones. Here is Mike Tomlin talking about when Anthony Richardson was playing, how it is he wanted Anthony, Anthony Richardson to stay in the game and no veteran quarterbacks to come in the game. A year ago, we're playing in Indianapolis, man, and I commented to the guys that, you know, keep Richardson upright, don't put Flacco in the game. And, you know, Flacco ended up in the game.

[Dan Le Batard]

I've never heard a coach just be like that guy. We want him in there. Do not hurt that guy.

[Stugotz]

Belichick, the aforementioned hypocrite, did say that of Freddie Mitchell in a Super Bowl. He said, every time he was out there, I was happy he did say that. But Tomlin saying, please keep Anthony Richardson upright. Like Weekends at Bernie's, like, where you just keep this corpse, keep it alive and keep it standing up. Please do not injure their quarterback. Keep Richardson upright.

[Dan Le Batard]

Don't put Flacco in the game.

[Stugotz]

And you know, Flacco ended up in.

[Jonathan Zaslow]

The game, so they didn't listen to him.

[Stugotz]

That's insubordination. Like they, I told you, don't hit him. What are we doing?

[Dan Le Batard]

It's like mad at TJ Watt for sacking him.

[Stugotz]

You know, what could have happened.

[Dan Le Batard]

He could have gotten hurt.

[Stugotz]

You know, keep Richardson upright, don't put Flacco in the game. And you know, Flacco ended up in the game.

[Jonathan Zaslow]

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[Jonathan Zaslow]

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[Dan Le Batard]

Don LeBatard My algorithm on Instagram is Dan. It's all boobs.

[Jonathan Zaslow]

Stugats.

[Dan Le Batard]

It's a good algorithm. This is the Don Levatar show with.

[Stugotz]

The st. Let's go ahead and go to the Dentek Bucket. We are grateful for Dentek sponsorship. Bring me the mouthpieces, please. I've told you before that I endorse this product because it has helped me with my headaches in terms of grinding teeth at night and keeping your jaw in a place where it's not hurting. Because if you have this problem, many of you do have this problem. This is something that can help with that problem. The reaper is here. Tony, why are you wrestling the reaper?

[Jonathan Zaslow]

Making sure he was holding the bucket right.

[Dan Le Batard]

This is very exciting. The bucket is presented by Dentek's ultimate fantasy football punishment. Learn more and sign your league [e-mail] thank you, Carmen.

[Stugotz]

Let's see, Jeremy is going to go first here. We are going to be paying some penalties next week. Let's see what we have here. Jeremy, go ahead and reach in there and see what we've got.

[Jonathan Zaslow]

Go ahead and rummage a little bit.

[Dan Le Batard]

Let's see, the Indianapolis Colts.

[Stugotz]

They're on the road at the Rams big game. Three and a half point, dog.

[Jonathan Zaslow]

Ooh, man, I'm gonna put back three.

[Dan Le Batard]

And a half, dog. It's gotta end for the.

[Jonathan Zaslow]

I like that. It's gonna end eventually. Live dog, Mike.

[Dan Le Batard]

And now Dan cursed Daniel Jones. Anthony Richardson's gonna end up in the game.

[Jonathan Zaslow]

Oh, shit. I got the Panthers.

[Dan Le Batard]

You loser.

[Stugotz]

I'm sorry. Carolina is on the road, not New England.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah. Plus five and a half at New England.

[Stugotz]

Damn.

[Jonathan Zaslow]

All right, here we go. First pick, the Detroit Lions.

[Dan Le Batard]

Lions are big favorite.

[Stugotz]

Big favorite against the Browns.

[Dan Le Batard]

I'll take that. Minus minus ten and a half.

[Stugotz]

Mike Ryan, go ahead and select in there.

[Jonathan Zaslow]

Got the Raiders against the Bears.

[Dan Le Batard]

They're favored by a half a point at home against the Bears.

[Jonathan Zaslow]

I think I'm gonna take the Raiders.

[Dan Le Batard]

I like that.

[Stugotz]

Really? Why would you like that?

[Jonathan Zaslow]

Oh, I don't.

[Stugotz]

I don't.

[Jonathan Zaslow]

I don't want to risk getting something worse.

[Dan Le Batard]

Just listen to Vegas. You get a slight. If you get a favorite, you keep it.

[Stugotz]

Half a point.

[Jonathan Zaslow]

I can't believe I got the Panthers.

[Dan Le Batard]

I got the Broncos. They are seven and a half point favorites. The Bengals Monday night.

[Jonathan Zaslow]

That's a good point.

[Dan Le Batard]

Very good. Good poll. I'll keep it. What a terrible Monday night slate.

[Jonathan Zaslow]

It's a double harrow.

[Dan Le Batard]

Two terrible games. That's the good game. That's the one Joe Buck's going to. I heard we're getting the B team down here. I got the Niners. They are at home, three and a half point favorite versus the Jags.

[Jonathan Zaslow]

Mac Jones rendering.

[Dan Le Batard]

Is Purdy playing? No, no he's not. I'll keep it. Screw it.

[Stugotz]

Can you get the Mac Jones sound from yesterday? Him giggling maniacally because he threw an interception that a defender didn't have to do much of anything in order to intercept. Mac Jones with the laughter of a winner after a catastrophic mistake in a 16 of 15 victory that Tony has proclaimed. Kyler Murray is done as a watch. I got the Jets. The jets are a three and a half point dog in that terrible Monday night game against the Dolphins. Team A no, I gotta throw it back.

[Jonathan Zaslow]

Tyron Taylor moving the ball some'.

[Stugotz]

Em.

[Dan Le Batard]

What's this?

[Stugotz]

Norream. Oh, that's a good helmet. That's the golden helmet of life. Congratulations. Three straight weeks of buys.

[Dan Le Batard]

That's what I'm talking about.

[Stugotz]

Yes, congratulations.

[Dan Le Batard]

That's what I'm talking about.

[Stugotz]

Give me the swap helmet. Give me the swap helmet so I can have that for three weeks. I got the Titans. I don't think I want that for any reason.

[Dan Le Batard]

At Houston +7 and a half.

[Jonathan Zaslow]

I like the Titans. They're sure and a half point dogs.

[Stugotz]

Yeah, but it's not a spread.

[Jonathan Zaslow]

I can't believe I have to watch that game.

[Stugotz]

Oh, I got the Texans. I did upgrade. Thank you.

[Jonathan Zaslow]

For you is you have to watch the Texans.

[Stugotz]

Titans aren't a lot of fun to watch.

[Jonathan Zaslow]

Oh yeah, I got the quarterback though.

[Stugotz]

He was fun to watch this season. He has. He's had a couple of throws this season. A couple of throws that I have enjoyed, but Cam Ward hasn't shown me a lot. I don't think it's great. You're not going to be able to make much of an appraisal so far of Cam Ward. He's throwing the ball an awful lot behind the line of scrimmage like all of these guys are. How do you guys feel about that development in football? Because I don't hear or see a lot of people complaining about the way that the turnover has become such a precious thing that all quarterbacks are playing really conservative. All offenses are playing really conservative.

[Dan Le Batard]

How much does it have to do with not wanting to turn the ball over compared to they just don't have the time that they used to have.

[Stugotz]

It's emotional, I think. Well, I know. I think it's. Everyone's terrified of turnovers. There's not. We've heard this for a long time in football. Every time a coach is interviewed on the sidelines they will say, we have to win the turnover battle. And when you're talking about the like, Andy Reid mentioned this during useless sound, the margins in some of these games are ridiculous. The idea that The Broncos are 1 and 2 when they could be easily be 3 and oh, like you're talking about a couple of penalties are the difference between 1 and 2 and 3. And the Ravens, now, their defense has been terrible, but the Ravens are so close to being three and oh, when you're talking about these margins and you're talking about salary cap sport that makes just about everything equitable. Turnovers have a value that's nuts. If I were to say to you over the course of the last few years, I have told you that what I want, if you want to give me value somewhere, give me somebody who can get to the passer. Give me some things that alter games that aren't, you know, a great offensive guard. I none of us here have an accurate appraisal of what the value is of an offensive guard. But if I have someone who can either create turnovers or I have position players who consistently avoid turnovers, what's more valuable than that? Other than a cheap quarterback? Other than a cheap quarterback. If I'll give you anything in the sport. Okay. For a while there, when Michael Lewis wrote the book about the blind side, we had a shift in the sport where everyone realized, oh, the left tackle, pretty important. Got to protect the quarterback. Quarterback's hugely important. Let's start paying the left tackles. What are the things you want on a football field that you think are more valuable than someone who can create turnovers? Either a defense or a player who is exceptional at getting the football back and getting your offense more chances.

[Jonathan Zaslow]

The problem with turnovers, Dan, is that they're not sticky, right? Like they're random.

[Dan Le Batard]

That's.

[Jonathan Zaslow]

That's the whole point of it. So you have somebody that can create turnovers. We saw a couple years ago, Trayvon.

[Dan Le Batard]

Diggs have seven interceptions and now he's.

[Jonathan Zaslow]

Stumbling out of the block and Luther or Roma Dunze is beating him for a 60 yard touchdown. It's like you can't rely or people.

[Dan Le Batard]

Can'T be worried about turning the ball.

[Jonathan Zaslow]

Over either interceptions or fumbles, because they happen either way.

[Dan Le Batard]

Right.

[Jonathan Zaslow]

I think the defense has completely shifted where we're not seeing one safety anymore on the top of the field. We're seeing two high safeties and completely taking the top off the defense. There's no way that they can stretch the field with two high safeties. That's exactly what it is, what you're seeing is a defensive response to how offenses had the rules changed for them. They adjusted. If you want the rules changed again, that's what you're complaining about. It's not conservative. They're doing RPOS because they need to get the ball out quicker. And yes, a byproduct of RPOS means you avoid turns, but they can't go bombs away because there's too high safeties there.

[Stugotz]

Now, I suppose I am complaining about it because I want to see great offensive players be great offensive players. And so just aesthetically, what the. The. The revolt that there is against the Tush push. When we talked about this last week, and I was saying that all the time in sports, because this is entertainment, it has little to do with the integrity of the game. They change the rules all the time in order to con. In order to entertain the fans. The more this development, we can't. We're not going to disagree. Right On. On the fact that Patrick Mahomes has been turned into this. He's not a nobody. Nobody listening to this would say that Patrick Mahomes isn't a great quarterback, but he's been turned into something that I don't want to watch them play offense anymore. Like, I'm bored by their football games when their football games used to be appointment viewing.

[Jonathan Zaslow]

So then I would suggest a pivot on your take because you've been ringing the bell on conservative nature of offenses and the defenses adjust and you want the game tilted towards the offense. I actually love where the game's at right now because I like seeing defenses have a shot to compete. I know the other stuff is hedonism and a lot of people like a lot of. A lot of points. I like that there's a game now to be played. It's more of a chess match and you get to actually see athletes on both sides the of.

[Dan Le Batard]

Of the ball.

[Jonathan Zaslow]

Patrick Mahomes is actually a prisoner of his own design because when he was bombs away and throwing the ball 55.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yards to Tyreek Hill every two plays.

[Jonathan Zaslow]

They were like, wait a second. Anytime that we have one safety in the middle of the field, he's going to throw it for 65 yards in.

[Dan Le Batard]

A touchdown because we can't cover Tyreek Hill.

[Jonathan Zaslow]

So, like, all right, we're just going to sit back, two safeties, good luck. You're going to try to throw something deep. So for the defense is adjusted to exactly what Patrick Mahomes was doing.

[Dan Le Batard]

How many exciting offenses in the league.

[Stugotz]

Are there right Now Ravens, Lions, it. I would have made a decent argument for the packers just because I like Jordan.

[Jonathan Zaslow]

Love Chargers aren't bad right now. Colts, bucks, bucks, Eagles.

[Dan Le Batard]

Eagles are not exciting.

[Jonathan Zaslow]

I think the Eagles are exciting. I think Saquon Barkley was electric. I liked watching the Eagles last year and I like that there's an unstoppable saying.

[Dan Le Batard]

Last year. Yeah, no so far this year he.

[Jonathan Zaslow]

Hasn'T been that good. This year they got the same personnel. What are we doing?

[Dan Le Batard]

I don't like just it's not fun watching their offense. It's just like Jalen hurts scrambling.

[Jonathan Zaslow]

I love watching the Bills. I like where the end. I like Josh Allen.

[Dan Le Batard]

I like Josh Allen. I'm with you more on that than the Bills.

[Jonathan Zaslow]

I don't like seeing Keon Coleman run for 17 yards in a wind sprint. I mean Jaden Daniels throws the ball deep. There's a lot of offenses there and I think the defenses need a shot. Otherwise we're not really playing a sport. We're playing a game that is tilted to the offense and the game that we're actually playing is who has the best offense and your only hope as a defense is a pass rush. That's not football.

[Stugotz]

Well, Zaslo loves a defensive game but I don't think that most people do. I think most people do want hedonism from their football. I do think that that trench play well Tony. Tony was very frustrated by that 1615 49ers Cardinals game and the way that those two teams play. I'm frustrated by seeing Kyler Murray turned into a 15 point a game player. I wanted.

[Jonathan Zaslow]

You don't love watching Fred Warner though. Fred Warner like snap to snap is as electric a player to watch in the NFL as pot like as there is. You don't love watching the Niners play defense. I friggin love it and I think that game is a byproduct of this is what the Niners have to do to win this game. Without Brock Purdy, Mac Jones is limited. Mack Jones readily admits he doesn't even know the full playbook. I thought that was fun.

[Stugotz]

Why do you like the 1615 game and you don't like the Jacksonville Houston 1710 game? What are you doing?

[Jonathan Zaslow]

Well, because Houston's offense I think is objectively bad. I think whatever it is new OC the pressure up the middle as we often say. I just don't like the Houston games because it's so mundane. Yeah the Texans, it's so redundant. I did not have the Texans. I hate betting the Texans because That incentivizes me to watch the Texans. I don't want to watch them. I do agree that there are some bad offenses, but that's the NFL. They're going to be better offenses and worse offenses. Just like they're better defenses and worse defenses. And I like watching certain defensive. Fred Warner is one of the few players without an all 22 that I can actually watch do his job out there. And I friggin love it. It was 1615. It was a miracle, by the way, because it was six, six, like deep into the third. And I was looking at this game and I text you, Dan. I'm like, send this game to the sun. Just beam it to the sun. I don't want to see anything of this game anymore. They kept going back to it on red zone and I'm like, all right here.

[Dan Le Batard]

Third and 18 for Kyler Murray. Oh, he scrambles out. Six yard gain. Okay.

[Jonathan Zaslow]

But you get the occasion. It's not like there aren't offensive explosions. You get the Sunday night game between the Bills and the ra. Like, there are plenty of good games. I, I think the league is really healthy. I hope they don't change the rules because I like the defenses, but what are you going to outlaw to two high safeties?

[Dan Le Batard]

Like, there's nothing you can do.

[Stugotz]

I was talking about the Tush Push. They're going. The reason that's going to get outlawed is because it's not aesthetically pleasing. And you can't have the champions winning 19 of 20 games when 12% of their plays are rugby and not football.

[Dan Le Batard]

How ridiculous is that story, by the way, that they said they were going to change the rule and then Jason Kelsey came in and gave an impassioned speech and like, you know what? What? We need to keep this for chasing Kelsey even. How ridiculous is that? Even teams that voted against it, they changed their mind. Jason Kelsey said so we must have.

[Jonathan Zaslow]

The Lions earned my respect forever because they were the only team on the Eagles schedule that's like, no, let them do it. Cause that's what it was. You. You have a duty to your team to vote against that since they have this unstoppable play. Like, whatever. I know, I don't necessarily think it's fair, but it gives us a better chance to win. It's also for a yard, right?

[Dan Le Batard]

We're not. It's not a 60 yard play.

[Jonathan Zaslow]

It's a one yard play. Okay, he gets one yard.

[Dan Le Batard]

Okay, but it's a new set of downs.

[Jonathan Zaslow]

Yeah, but if they could turn. If they could just Turn and give it to Saquon Bark and do the same thing. Even if they outlaw it. Like don't put them in fourth.

[Dan Le Batard]

One, it's.

[Jonathan Zaslow]

Don't put him in third and one. It's a one yard play.

[Dan Le Batard]

Do you think the front office like pitches that to Dan Campbell of like we should vote no. And he's like, over my dead body. What do you like about a defensive game, Zaz? Like, I find it hard to believe you like a 9, 6 gamer. Like a couple weeks ago, the Sunday nighter, that was Falcons, Vikings 22, 6. You're like, wow, damn 7. This was a great game. No, that was. That was a bad game. The one that you just said there. But you know a game that's 45, 41 where every possession results in a score. That's not interesting to me, man. No, that. That's a bad game. You want to see that game the same way that the 96 game is bad, man. Like you got. There's gotta be a little bit of a balance. Give me a stop every now and then. What about that Monday night or like five years. Hated it. The classic Rams. You hated that game. How did you hate that game?

[Jonathan Zaslow]

It was a. It's a fun little outlier for it to happen. But like if the game becomes that, then we're playing NFL.

[Dan Le Batard]

It's literally whatever team has the ball last. Why do I have to watch the whole game if whoever has the ball last is going to win back games, bad games.

[Stugotz]

What you gonna do? What you gonna do? And then judges you. Bad games, bad games.

[Jonathan Zaslow]

One of the most classic games of all time. It was. It was. I love quarterbacks, but I also love, love Miles Garrett putting a team on his shoulders, knowing how limited his offense is and he's going to make the play. I love watching the Steelers knowing that TJ Watt is going to touch a football and make a game changing play.

[Dan Le Batard]

Give me a 23:16 game ahead of that one every time.

[Stugotz]

You guys mentioned Jason Kelce. Forgive my ignorance here. That late night show. How's it doing? Is.

[Dan Le Batard]

It was just a limited run.

[Jonathan Zaslow]

It went away.

[Stugotz]

Oh it. Okay.

[Dan Le Batard]

It was just like a couple episodes during the postseason. I don't think it was ever designed to be a long term thing. Maybe it comes back this season probably would have been a long term thing.

[Jonathan Zaslow]

If it, if it performed. It didn't really perform. It kind of came and went and it was a cool little hack that they did. Decided against doing it more.

[Dan Le Batard]

Eczema isn't always obvious, but it's real and so is the relief from Epglis. After an initial dosing phase, about 4 in 10 people taking EPGLIS achieved itch relief and clear or almost clear skin. It's 16 weeks and most of those people maintain skin that's still more clear at one year with monthly dosing. EVGLIS Lebricizumab LBKZ, a 250mg injection, is a prescription medicine used to treat adults and children 12 years of age and older who weigh at least 88 pounds or 40 kilograms with moderate to severe eczema, also called atopic dermatitis, that is not well controlled with prescription therapies used.

[Stugotz]

On the skin or topicals, or who.

[Dan Le Batard]

Cannot use topical therapies. EBGLIS can be used with or without topical corticosteroids. Don't use if you're allergic to ebglis. Allergic reactions can occur that can be severe. Eye problems can occur.

[Stugotz]

Tell your doctor if you have new.

[Dan Le Batard]

Or or worsening eye problems. You should not receive a live vaccine when treated with Epglis. Before starting Epglis, tell your doctor if you have a parasitic infection searching for real relief? Ask your doctor about eglis and visit epgliss.lilly.com or call 1-800-lilyrx or 1-800-545-5979.

[Stugotz]

When did making plans get this complicated? It's time to streamline with WhatsApp, the.

[Dan Le Batard]

Secure messaging app that brings the whole group together.

[Stugotz]

Use polls to settle dinner plans, send event invites and pin messages so no one forgets mom's 60th and never miss a meme or milestone.

[Dan Le Batard]

All protected with end to end encryption.

[Stugotz]

It's time for WhatsApp message privately with everyone.

[Dan Le Batard]

Learn [e-mail] this episode is brought to you by State Farm. Checking off the boxes on your to do list is a great feeling. And when it comes to checking off coverage, a State Farm agent can help you choose an option that's right for you. Whether you prefer talking in person on the phone or using the award winning app, it's nice knowing you have help finding coverage that best fits your needs. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.

[Jonathan Zaslow]

Don LeBatard to us residents.

[Stugotz]

Oh wow, it's in there.

[Dan Le Batard]

It's better.

[Jonathan Zaslow]

You think I haven't been practicing stugats?

[Stugotz]

I didn't realize we had a substitute complicated legacy brought to by headquarters Toyota.

[Jonathan Zaslow]

441 Power Line Road second down to nine.

[Dan Le Batard]

This is the Dan Levatar show with the stugats.

[Stugotz]

The numbers that I was giving you guys on Kimmel that continue to grow. Six million plus post 11:30pm Eastern on television, on linear television and more than 20 million on YouTube. Obviously none of that is going to sustain. But I did want to talk for a second with you guys because of the duress that late night television is under and because everybody is watching this stuff differently than they used to. You guys do remember, right? Or maybe you don't. I don't believe ABC had late night television. That was this.

[Dan Le Batard]

Kimmel was the start.

[Jonathan Zaslow]

I think they had Politically Incorrect for a brief moment.

[Stugotz]

They had Politically Incorrect, which ironically enough was canceled for being politically incorrect. They also had Nightline that was just a news program, which is what I associated with abc. Ted Koppel, late night television. But Jimmy Kimmel's first shows, if you'll remember, he had a bar, a live audience that was drinking during it. And then they stopped doing that very quickly because why would they do that? Yeah, there was, there was. They were. Well, he was coming off of the man show and this was what. The evolution of Jimmy Kimmel into American martyr. From man show and from drinking. Studio audience drinking from a free bar during the show.

[Jonathan Zaslow]

That Karl Malone bit was wild. You guys see that? I have it on my phone.

[Stugotz]

23 years, late night television, more than 4,000 shows. And obviously this last one is gonna be the biggest that he's ever done. And it's going to resonate, but it's not going to have staying power. Correct. We're all assuming that this will go back to where we were before, where late night television is dying because everyone is telling you no, I'll go ahead and watch things without commercials on my own. And I won't stay up into the middle of the night and do this the way that you want me to. Not when I can do it anywhere else at my convenience. You guys believe what is going to happen here going forward? Because when we talked yesterday to Brian Stelter, it seems obvious that this mistake this way won't be made again. Where we go this directly from threat is made and now there's a threat to freedom of speech. And now Americans with a public outcry are doing something that you simply don't see very much anymore. Like, I'm watching what I think is truly horrifying video every day about, you know, how a state militia is just treating people who are peaceful protesters. And I can't get consensus group outrage on that when that feels deeply un American and it feels like it's an insult to American core principles. Polls. But on Jimmy Kimmel. I got something that felt like consensus, and I got something that felt like consensus when I don't believe the core principle that was being protected by Tucker Carlson and Megyn Kelly and those folks was free speech absolutism. I think that our core principle there is just selfishness. Media members have microphones, and they don't want that threatened. Like, I didn't think that that was actually the reason that everyone gathered around the core principle on that one with free speech absolut.

[Jonathan Zaslow]

I also think you also saw politicians. Ted Cruz, who did like an Italian accent on a podcast, was sounding the alarm on it. You know why? Because I know what the hats say in the merch shop. But Donald Trump is up there, and this is supposed to be his final term. And there are a lot of politicians that would love to be career politicians that know the American politics pendulum swings. And they don't want to be paying for the checks that Donald Trump is writing right now, because they know know that the response, just like Donald Trump, was a response from the right to what they saw was a more radicalized movement inside the Democratic Party. And that is up for debate. But we cannot deny that it was a response with the seeds being of the Tea Party. They know this thing shifts from end to end, and they don't want to be on the receiving end of what is currently being dished out as it.

[Stugotz]

Relates to sports and politics. Bruce Pearl has just left Auburn, and he did so in a way that was interesting to me. And I saw that Michael Wilbon, because many of these arguments are getting dumber and dumber. And I saw that Michael Wilbon was catching some heat, which I have not seen before, when it was just something in the big finish of pti. Big finish is just music and fast and happy. And it's just. It's finger guns.

[Jonathan Zaslow]

It's finger guns. Dance a lot of finger guns.

[Dan Le Batard]

Oh, happy birthday to this guy. It is.

[Stugotz]

It's just like, let's conclude this punctuation in a way that's musical and dancing and happy and fun and happy trails to Bruce Pearl, who's retiring at Auburn. And then all of a sudden, Mike Wilbon, because he calls Bruce Pearl divisive and because he says he's glad he's gone at Auburn and he hopes he was forced out. He. He gets turned into someone who gets, you know, dragged because he's against Bruce Pearl. And he's against Bruce Pearl because Bruce Pearl is going sort of the Tommy Tuberville route after making a lot of money off of Black kids and he is anti dei and Mike Wilbond called him divisive. And I'm just curious what you guys thought of all of that because the part that I actually found interesting and you have to understand that these college power brokers, no matter how much we want to make them leaders and we want to make them educators, they're just salesmen and they're oily. And some of them might care about education but most of them care about being the agents who get a percentage of a cut off of the players. The part that I thought was interesting about Bruce Pearl is you're anti dei but the way that you retired when you knew you were going to retire, you did it so that they had to take your kid because there's not time with the season coming up, they have to do it it your way. I've seen Dean Smith do that. I thought Dean Smith earned it more. And this is no knock on Bruce Pearl as a basketball coach. He's a great basketball coach. Also a cheater and also someone who lies. But he is a great basketball coach. I thought it was what that was.

[Dan Le Batard]

Just a funny like he lies for the record. Also a cheater. Also.

[Jonathan Zaslow]

He lies also for the record. We can safely assume he is anti DEI with how public he has been with his political statements lately, which have been amplified over the last few months.

[Dan Le Batard]

Months.

[Jonathan Zaslow]

And there are some people with Tuberville positioning himself for a run for governor. Some people are saying is Bruce Pearl trying to do the same lane, the same pipeline Auburn to politics? I struggle to find on the record quotes about dei but I've heard him say Obama was divisive. He has certainly been putting himself out there way more politically and the timing of this is curious.

[Stugotz]

It's not curious, it's just self serving. And look, this is good father.

[Jonathan Zaslow]

Oh, I agree with you. Dave works hard. It's not curious and it's not fooling anybody. It's the Tony Bennett move. You know, when camps opened up for college basketball teams this week, Tony Bennett did this exact same thing. Why? Because your university camp conduct a search. You essentially name your coach in waiting. And in this case it just so happens to be Bruce Pearl's son. Now let's go over this resume of Bruce Pearl's son. His son is 38 years old. Years old who worked as a medical sales rep for years until he took UP coaching in 2017. He's only ever coached under his dad. Do we think this is the best hire that Auburn can make? Absolutely not. Absolutely not. It's A Tony Bennett move. This is a separate conversation for whatever Bruce Pearl is going to do with his career afterwards. But this ain't fooling anybody. Jack.

[Stugotz]

That Jack was not necessary.

[Jonathan Zaslow]

Oh, it felt good.

[Dan Le Batard]

It did feel good.

[Stugotz]

The, the move is a good father move if you want to get your son the cushy job. I don't know if Bruce Pearl has earned the right to do that the way that Tony Bennett and Dean Smith had. Auburn's good at basketball. Auburn's been to a couple of final fours with Bruce Pearl there.

[Jonathan Zaslow]

Well, we struggled to find DEI comments. I did find something from Bruce Pearl's social media and this I guess is a statement. Man in retweeting an awful announcing article from June 28th of Stephen A. Smith speaking out for more than five minutes straight about the role nepotism played in the Lakers selection of Bronny James. We live in a country where nepotism has taken place. Bruce Pearl retweeted with comment. Preach. Stephen A.

[Stugotz]

The idea that you would put your son in place and you would retire at 65 on with timing. The timing meant specifically to make sure that your university gets strong armed and doesn't have a choice but has to take your son. You would agree that that's good fathering, right?

[Dan Le Batard]

It's good fathering. But honestly, like why, why does Auburn have to go along with it? Okay, let him be the interim coach because the season is starting soon but you're allowed to still conduct a search right now. Now, like why can't they conduct a search and all right, they'll find a head coach and you could install him a month or two into the season, like whatever.

[Stugotz]

Oh, but it's a bit chaotic.

[Dan Le Batard]

This, this right now is chaotic.

[Stugotz]

Yes. To do it and, and to do it strategically because I don't think Bruce Pearl woke up this morning and was like, ah, I don't want to coach anymore.

[Jonathan Zaslow]

No, it's sinister. They know exactly what they're doing and they want the ability to name who they want to name as a, as the ex head coach. And it's particularly disturbing when it's your son who lacks the necessary experience to run a program such as Auburn.

[Dan Le Batard]

So what's more chaotic than handing the reins over to someone who is not qualified to be the head coach right now or doing a search right now, installing a coach a month or two in.

[Stugotz]

But Pearl is staying there though. He's going to be consultant. He's going to be around. You don't classic moves. You don't lose the coach.

[Jonathan Zaslow]

That is a perfect heist right there. You leave. But I'm not really leaving right here. I'm going to be here.

[Stugotz]

I have this whole.

[Jonathan Zaslow]

I worked this out over Thanksgiving last year.

[Stugotz]

I don't think I'd call it sinister, though. I don't. And if I'm calling it good fathering, I don't think I would call good fathering.

[Dan Le Batard]

Good fathering can be sinister.

[Stugotz]

It can be.

[Dan Le Batard]

I think. So how we're seeing it.

[Jonathan Zaslow]

This guy fights his kids. What do you mean?

[Dan Le Batard]

They challenge me.

[Stugotz]

You think? I think he's a good father sometimes. Sinister. Sinister. To put. To just put your coat. To put your son in a great job, in a great position.

[Dan Le Batard]

I am next in line for the Greg Cody show with Greg Cody. I don't know if you guys knew that. Guys, the NFL is rolling. Every touchdown brings you closer to a payout with DraftKings Sportsbook, an official sports betting partner of the NFL. New customers. This one's for you. Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app. Use Code Dan. That's Code dan to get $200 in bonus bets instantly when you place your first $5 bet plus over $200 off NFL Sunday ticket from YouTube and YouTube TV in partnership with DraftKings. The crown is yours. Gambling problem. Call 1-800-GAMBLER in New York. Call 8 or text Hopeny 467-369-IN CT. Help is available for problem gambling. Call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org Please play responsibly on behalf of Boot Hill Casino and Resort in Kansas. Fees may apply in Illinois, 21 and over. Age and eligibility varies by jurisdiction. Boyden, Ontario. Bonus bets expire seven days after issuance. For additional terms and responsible gaming resources, see DKNG Co Audio. Thursday Night Football is on and it's only on Prime Video. Tonight, the Seattle Seahawks face the Arizona Cardinals in an NFC west showdown. It's the Birds versus the Birds. Coverage begins at 7pm Eastern with football's best party TNF tonight. Not a Prime member? Not a problem. Simply sign up for a 30 day free trial. It's the Seahawks and the Cardinals tonight at 7:00pm Eastern only on Prime Video. Restrictions apply. See Amazon.com Amazon prime for details.