Hour 2: Billy's Barber Bind

Summary

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The Dan Le Batard Show With Stugotz

Episode: Hour 2: Billy's Barber Bind

Date: August 20, 2025
Location: Elser Hotel, Downtown Miami

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Episode Overview

In this lively hour, Dan and the crew dive into the unique world of barbershop loyalty through Billy’s “barber bind,” debate the intimacy of male grooming, share vacation anecdotes about Hawaii, and poke fun at their own lackluster sports coverage and coastal knowledge. The show is peppered with inside jokes, musical parodies, and the signature irreverent banter fans love.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Lottery Dreams and Friendship - (00:10–01:35)

• The crew jokes about winning the lottery and which friends they'd share their hypothetical winnings with.
• Playful tension arises between Zaz and Billy about whether they count as friends or just coworkers.
• Notable Quote:

  “Just to flat out tell him to his face, you're not my friend. Is rude. I mean, jeez!”
  — Billy (01:21)

2. Thai Food & Inside Jokes - (01:35–02:14)

• Dan jokes about Zaz’s pronunciation of “Thai food,” leading to Greg Cody humorously accusing Zaz of culturally blending Chinese and Thai cuisines.

3. Greg Cody’s Haircut & Wager - (02:16–04:47)

• Greg Cody receives an impressive haircut from Lucio, turning a punishment into “an improvement.”
• Dan bets whether Greg’s wife will notice and be impressed.
• Notable Exchange:

  “She has been bugging me for the past month... She is going to be thrilled and notice it immediately. I am maintaining that is the Lucio magic.”
  — Dan (03:12)

4. Billy’s Barber Bind - (05:54–11:03)

• Main Segment: Billy’s quandary about barber loyalty.
  • His longtime barber has vanished, likely moved to Lakeland — is it worth following a barber across cities?
  • Appointments became difficult due to barber’s switch from texting to app bookings.
  • Paranoia about Dan organizing a prank haircut in-studio: "Everyone thinks there's a catch... that Dan's going to instruct the barber to shave everyone's head.”
    — Billy (08:20)
• Trust issues aren’t with Lucio’s skill (“a man of honor”) but with Dan’s propensity for pranks.

Memorable Quotes

“I'm in a barber bind at the moment...My barber that I go to... has disappeared, which is a bit of a bind.”
— Billy (06:29)

“He asked me if I was a drug addict. It's a whole thing. So that's barber bind number one.”
— Billy (07:01)

5. The Intimacy of Barbershop Relationships - (31:00–32:13)

• Crew discusses whether it’s normal/acceptable to follow a barber across locations.
  • Dan: “You don't have this kind of intimate relationship with your barber because you don't care about these things. This is an intimate act... you're having someone groom you.”
    (31:04)
  • Chris Cody remains unconvinced: “I just look at it as a haircut, you know. I don't—grooming, I mean, come on.”
• Billy’s cut with Lucio is declared a success ("Bang up job").

6. Vacation Stories & Hawaii Culture Clash - (14:01–21:19)

• Dan shares anecdotes from Hawaii, surprised by the show's popularity there and the early, laid-back nightlife.
• Relates feeling uneasy during deep-sea snorkeling—contrast with his in-laws’ outdoorsy comfort.
  • The group agree: they’re not “ocean people,” expressing comedic ignorance and fear of what (literally) lies beneath.

Notable Moment

“The ocean's for going in waisty, peeing, and getting right back out.”
— Greg Cody (20:01)

7. Deep Sea Snorkeling & South Florida Stereotypes - (22:00–24:31)

• Poll suggestion: “Deep sea snorkeling: Yes or no?”
• More admissions that despite living in South Florida, none feel compelled to explore its waters.

8. Old Bits & Jeremy’s “We Didn’t Start the Fire” Recap Song - (25:29–40:45)

• Replay and reminisce over a former bit: Hawk’s “We Didn’t Start the Fire: Pirate Edition.”
• Jeremy Tache is set up to perform his own recap of the show's last month, parodying the same Billy Joel song.
  • The crew stall and tease Jeremy, relishing his anticipation and ability to recite show arcana, personal stories, and inside jokes.

Jeremy’s Parody Song (38:25–40:42)

Includes references to:

• Show “scandals” and jokes about racism and cancellation
• Dolphins backup QBs and practice storylines
• Greg Cody’s tennis matches for his wife
• Tony’s bar mitzvah shirts, streaming fatigue, Magic Johnson’s contract
• Gutierrez group texts, and more
• Ends with:

  “Well maybe I did, but I totally didn't mean to, and it was seriously an accident, like who knows what that word means anyway.”
  — Jeremy, playfully referencing accidental controversy (40:41)

9. The Crew's Sports Predictions Fails (28:30–29:43)

• The show skewers itself for terrible AL East baseball predictions.
  • Orioles expected to “be good for 10 years”—disproven.
  • Trevor Rogers’ pitching turnaround comes as a total surprise.

Notable Quotes

“Our embarrassing AL east coverage. We have gotten nothing. Right.”
— Dan (29:43)

10. Miscellaneous Banter & Closing - (34:00–38:25)

• More sports tangents: Miami Dolphins, Zach Wilson, and the perennial pain of “football happening” to Miami.
• Distraction and digression: the crew seek any reason (childhood photos, condom jokes) not to get serious.

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Timestamps for Notable Segments

• Billy’s Barber Bind: 06:29–11:03
• The Intimacy of Barbershop Relationships: 31:00–32:13
• Deep Sea Snorkeling (Dan’s Hawaii Story): 16:09–21:19
• Jeremy’s Parody Song: 38:25–40:42
• Show’s AL East Baseball Self-Drag: 28:30–29:43
• Greg Cody's Philosophy of Ocean-Use: 20:01

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Episode Highlights: Quotes & Tone

• Playful skepticism about each other’s friendships and joke bets for minuscule stakes.
• Signature suspicion about studio events: “Everyone kind of talked about this behind you and they think... Dan’s gonna instruct the barber to shave everyone's head.” — Billy (08:20)
• Lovably inept South Floridians: They admit to wasting their “paradise,” unfamiliar with local outdoor wonders (“The ocean's for going in waisty, peeing, and getting right back out.” — Greg Cody)
• Recurring self-deprecation about sports knowledge, especially their AL East takes: “Our embarrassing AL east coverage. We have gotten nothing. Right.” — Dan (29:43)
• Musical interludes and running bits show off the show’s meta, self-referential style—mocking their own inertia, catchphrase repetition, and deep well of inside jokes.

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Conclusion

This hour exemplifies the show’s comedic, meandering style: personal tangents, show lore, and topical sports talk blend seamlessly. Longtime listeners are rewarded with deep-cut references and playful jabs; new listeners get a taste of the show’s mix of absurdity and real-life gripes (e.g., loyalty to barbers, fear of snorkeling, and failing sports predictions). Jeremy’s “We Didn’t Start the Fire” parody ties together the show’s running gags and recent events, serving as a perfect, meta capstone to the hour.

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If you missed the episode:
You’ll feel like you’re right there among the crew, parsing the barber dilemma, ducking the ocean, and reveling in a month’s worth of show shenanigans recapped to a Billy Joel classic.

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Transcript

[Dan Le Batard]

This is the Dan Levator show with the Stu Guts podcast. All right?

[Roy]

We talked about sports billionaire owners, and we talked about bank accounts, and my bank account's looking kind of thin. I wish I.

[Chris Cody]

Come on, Roy.

[Roy]

I mean, I gotta start playing the lottery, man.

[Chris Cody]

Yes.

[Roy]

Yeah. And that's why we're teaming up with Jack pocket now.

[Billy]

Over 600 million, Roy.

[Roy]

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[Billy]

Dan, how much would you give me, Roy, if you won? $600 million.

[Zaz]

I always wonder what I would give out.

[Billy]

I wonder what Roy would give me.

[Valerie]

I really don't understand. Like, if I won, I would totally give a friend a million bucks.

[Billy]

Whatever.

[Valerie]

Make him happy.

[Dan Le Batard]

George Clooney.

[Roy]

The George Clooney treatment. I'll give him a million dollars.

[Zaz]

Yeah, but what is a friend like that?

[Billy]

Me. How much?

[Zaz]

I wouldn't call me and you friends yet, Zaz. Like, what would I get?

[Billy]

Oh, wow.

[Valerie]

Well, but if. If you needed something, you know, and we work together, I'll help you out.

[Dan Le Batard]

You know, are we gonna do friend or co worker here? Because Billy just heard you. I mean, Billy took offense.

[Billy]

Billy, been three weeks of you guys every day together. Oh, no. Years before that.

[Zaz]

Zaz and I much closer than we were months ago.

[Billy]

Just to flat out tell him to his face, you're not my friend. Is rude. I mean, jeez, come out early. You say my mom's a monster, you're not my friend. Like, what' with you today, buddy?

[Valerie]

I wasn't offended by, though. It's all good. But we're talking money here, okay? So it's okay to differentiate.

[Dan Le Batard]

Zaz, you've gotten very popular. People love how you say Thai food. I don't know what that means, but I've just been good. I mean, it is orange chicken. It is Thai fried rice.

[Greg Cody]

He doesn't know what Thai food means.

[Valerie]

Thai food.

[Dan Le Batard]

It's delicious.

[Chris Cody]

It is.

[Dan Le Batard]

I know.

[Greg Cody]

Egg rolls, actual Thai food. That is Chinese food. What he's doing, and it needs to stop.

[Dan Le Batard]

I don't know why he's doing beef and broccoli.

[Greg Cody]

It's not a cultural cat.

[Dan Le Batard]

Mongolian beef. No, it's. You're doing that incorrectly. I have in. In play here a couple of things that I want to get to. Jeremy has A song to remind me of all of the things that I missed.

[Billy]

Let's do option B. I don't know.

[Dan Le Batard]

That you're going to like that one much better though, because I can't like it much less. Well, okay, but let me tell you what option B is because Greg Cody is coming here and the haircut he has is spectacular. Lucio, Greg Cody has done a lot of grooming on Meadowlarks dime and now he looks tremendous. Totally cleaned up. And what was supposed to be a punishment, Greg Cody trips up the show ends up with, I believe, him going home to a wife who's going to think he looks better than he ever has leaving here.

[Chris Cody]

I don't know about that. Let's not get carried away. She knew me in my 20s.

[Billy]

Greg Cutie.

[Chris Cody]

Yes. Thank you. Billy.

[Dan Le Batard]

You said that she will either not notice at all or compliment it. But you are betting which way on that.

[Chris Cody]

That's tough call with her because she's a weirdo when it comes to that. She has been bugging me for the past month. Plus that I need a haircut. When are you going to get a haircut?

[Dan Le Batard]

She is going to be thrilled and notice it immediately. I am maintaining that is the Lucio magic. That's what I would bet. I would bet you that amount. And then you tell me what should the amount be on that bet. I think she will notice that Lucio has made you sexier.

[Chris Cody]

Oh, I'll bet you 20 bucks.

[Zaz]

I mean, that's something that you could just lie about so you can make it a bigger bet and just say that it went your way.

[Chris Cody]

Yeah, she's in on the bet. I give her 10.

[Dan Le Batard]

There you go.

[Chris Cody]

You know, I keep 10.

[Zaz]

Cut her in.

[Chris Cody]

But there have been times in the past, in all seriousness, when I will get a haircut after being bugged by her to get a haircut and she'll come home from work. Hey, how was your day? And. And hours go by and she.

[Dan Le Batard]

I promise you, I am promising. How long have you been married?

[Chris Cody]

40 something.

[Dan Le Batard]

Okay. I'm going to win this bet. She's going to notice. You looked very messy coming in here today. You were leaving here looking very clean.

[Valerie]

Can you walk into your home as a small window?

[Dan Le Batard]

You got Lynn. No, man. Really fit that.

[Valerie]

Can you walk into your home like recording so we could hear the reaction?

[Chris Cody]

Recording the whole thing.

[Zaz]

What do you think he knows how.

[Billy]

To do that, judging by the video we saw earlier? No.

[Chris Cody]

Yeah, I would if. If I could get an instant Chris and I would.

[Dan Le Batard]

I would like to pay you by the hour to go produce the thing of your dad walking in. I am sure she's going to notice very soon.

[Zaz]

I'll teach him how to set up his voice memo so we can.

[Billy]

They took the camera off of his home screen for some reason.

[Chris Cody]

I know they did. Why the whole logo? Why it's not there anymore? I don't know.

[Dan Le Batard]

Billy option.

[Chris Cody]

Spotify logo fell off my camera and I use that more than any any other logo on the. Did you pick it up on the screen? No, it disappeared when I fell off.

[Zaz]

I don't know what you guys are talking about.

[Billy]

The logo fell off his camera.

[Chris Cody]

Man, I gotta start to type in the word spot.

[Dan Le Batard]

You're surprised that on a Wild Billy Wednesday would go super inside. You're surprised by that, are you?

[Greg Cody]

Chris, I'm gonna say something. I might reg.

[Valerie]

Go on.

[Greg Cody]

We should have taken the Jeremy Tache option.

[Dan Le Batard]

I mean, you say that, but I haven't gotten to my second option yet. Which Billy's gonna like worse than the Jeremy Tache option.

[Billy]

Seems unlikely.

[Dan Le Batard]

Greg.

[Greg Cody]

Jeremy's the one on the far left.

[Dan Le Batard]

I have.

[Billy]

Hey, Greg, it's me, Jeremy.

[Chris Cody]

Wow, fake limited Jeremy. You think you're family?

[Dan Le Batard]

No, Please, you two develop and sharpen the fake limited Jeremy. That was. That's my favorite Jeremy. The bobbing into your broadcasting screen. Just sort of lobbing the broadcasting song. Hey, guys, I'm totally natural here while being not natural.

[Billy]

Too far.

[Greg Cody]

He's a talent.

[Dan Le Batard]

I agree. He makes good songs. And one of these songs is going to be on display in a second. But I got to put this option before Billy. Billy, Lucio's giving free haircuts. And I told people to just gather around Lucio and anybody who needs a haircut should get one. And I heard in my periphery somebody say that you either needed or wanted a haircut. And I looked at you and it looked like there was a great deal of hair underneath the mop. You've got a good set of hair. Do you have bar barber loyalties in play here? Because some people have unique relationships with their barbers and never miss.

[Billy]

I'm in a barber bind at the moment and I could use a haircut. I'm in two barber binds at the moment.

[Chris Cody]

Oh, boy.

[Billy]

My original barber. My barber that I go to to get a haircut has disappeared, which is a bit of a bind. And I followed him from one barber shop to another barber shop, and now he appears to no longer be at this barber shop. And I have to determine whether or not I want to follow him to A third barber shop. Do I want to text him directly? Because I would book him through an app that he told me, don't, don't text me. Use the app. So I have to use the app to get him. But he's no longer there. He's not at the barbershop anymore. And based on the last conversation I had with him, he may be in Lakeland now. And that's a bit of a drive to go to see the same barber. So I don't know if I want to just pull the plug because if he's gone to a third barber shop and I reach out, then I have to go to the third barber shop. The price changes one barbershop to the next. So do I just start over fresh with a new barber? That's barber bind number one. Also, he thinks I'm a cop, but then he doesn't think I'm a cop. He asked me if I was a drug addict. It's a whole thing. So that's barber bind number one. Barber bind number two is this could all be resolved today. Or I could put a band aid on the situation and just get a haircut and then I could prolong the amount of time I need to figure out what to do with said Barbara bind number one. But Barbara bind number two that we have here goes back a couple weeks when we found out that there was a possibility of a barber coming because everyone out there was talking like, just sign up. Someone's gonna kind of cut hair here. And the general consensus in this office was, well, surely there's a catch. Like this is some sort of prank Dan's gonna do. He likes people in costumes. He's gonna instruct the barber to shave everyone's head. Like, this can't be a normal situation where there's just a barber. Haircuts.

[Zaz]

Wait till you see the back of my dad's head.

[Billy]

Yes, something's going on. So that's barber bind number two is that everyone is kind. If you're wondering why there's been no activity, it's cuz everyone kind of talked about this behind you and they think that there's something up here and that you may have instructed him to kind of shave people's heads, mess up their hairs, etc. Etc.

[Zaz]

Greg, spin around.

[Dan Le Batard]

Let it.

[Zaz]

Let the audience see the back.

[Billy]

That's.

[Jeremy]

Oh my God.

[Dan Le Batard]

That's a.

[Billy]

That's a person. The perfect first one is it's, you know, that's like, look, this is all on the up and up. But if you've noticed no one's lining up because everyone's kind of wanting. When is this gonna. Well, no, no, no.

[Dan Le Batard]

Billy's got a major penalty. Five minutes for being Billy.

[Greg Cody]

I feel like we were wrapping up there. He was bringing it home.

[Billy]

I can't have my head shaved, okay? And that's what I'm worried is gonna happen. I'm gonna be perfectly on not cuz I don't trust Lucio. I trust Lucy. I miss Lucy. I want to go up.

[Dan Le Batard]

Sounds like you don't.

[Billy]

Well, I think Lucio, it's not one to stand up to marching orders.

[Dan Le Batard]

Lucio goes back a long way with us.

[Chris Cody]

He does. He's great, by the way. Lucio, I love that guy. He's.

[Dan Le Batard]

But you don't trust him. You guys think he's going to shave your head. You think Lucio would.

[Billy]

It's not Lucio.

[Greg Cody]

They don't trust you.

[Chris Cody]

Yeah. It could be that I was the one to make everybody think he's going to give you a false sense of security.

[Billy]

See here. And now that I've thrown it out there, even if that wasn't the plan, now that plan is thought of like, well, maybe this. Maybe this is a plan.

[Dan Le Batard]

See, Lucio, you guys that like, you disrespect him by him not making him his own proper entity.

[Zaz]

Once again, we're not worried about Lucio.

[Billy]

Not worried about Lucio. Luz is going to do a great job.

[Roy]

Yep.

[Greg Cody]

It is suspicious. You had three and a half weeks to concoct.

[Jeremy]

Don't be suspicious.

[Billy]

You were texting someone when you were falling down the stairs. It might have been Lucio.

[Valerie]

I mean, Lucio may be honoring the agreement he made with you, which is to shave Billy's head.

[Billy]

A man of honor.

[Greg Cody]

I wasn't worried about this, but now I am.

[Billy]

You only came in here and said, billy, don't you want a haircut? Which is like, well, so odd. Billy, people are saying you look terrible out there. You really need to cut your. Here.

[Dan Le Batard]

Billy, you are in a really.

[Zaz]

Honest with you, Billy, I'm going to be honest with you out there. Dan walked by me. He goes, does Billy want a haircut?

[Dan Le Batard]

Okay, I didn't say it like that.

[Billy]

What's going on here? Now me and Chris can cut our.

[Zaz]

Hair together, being Billy. Then maybe can I get a haircut with a hat on?

[Dan Le Batard]

What? Yes, go ahead. Both of you should go and get your hair cut from Lucio at the same time. Can I get back to the rest of the show, please? I told you, Bill, you'd like this option Less than the other one.

[Billy]

So am I getting a haircut?

[Dan Le Batard]

Yes. Oh, yes.

[Billy]

And we still have to listen to Jeremy's song.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yes.

[Billy]

So no one won.

[Dan Le Batard]

Well, you're gonna get a nice haircut. You're gonna try. And then afterward, you're going to trust me and Lucio to not embarrass you. And you're gonna have more love in your heart.

[Chris Cody]

I wanna say one thing about the haircut thing. Am I the only one who noticed that Dan referred to Billy as having a nice set of hair? Who says that phrase, a nice set of hair? I've never heard that phrase before.

[Dan Le Batard]

I didn't realize I had said that.

[Chris Cody]

It's on record.

[Dan Le Batard]

Okay, misspeak.

[Chris Cody]

Clearly, I am the only one who knows.

[Greg Cody]

Sounds like a misspeak.

[Chris Cody]

Nice set of hair.

[Dan Le Batard]

I'm. I'm sorry I did that. You really should be. You really got.

[Zaz]

Gotta go. Lettuce there.

[Chris Cody]

Nice set.

[Dan Le Batard]

Nice set of lettuce.

[Zaz]

Got some great lettuce.

[Dan Le Batard]

Billy just greeted Lucio with a vigorous hug.

[Chris Cody]

Yeah.

[Dan Le Batard]

And it was nice to see them get together. Billy has a good head of hair is what I thought.

[Chris Cody]

I said good set of hair.

[Dan Le Batard]

I thought. I thought it was a good replay that tape. I think Billy has the best set of hair.

[Chris Cody]

He does.

[Dan Le Batard]

That we have around here.

[Chris Cody]

What a set.

[Greg Cody]

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[Dan Le Batard]

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[Dan Le Batard]

Don Lebatar that's how it's going to end the mailing it in the end of the retirement. Chris Go get me. This is just going to be him coming out and hitting the one or two notes of that kind of thing. And you know it and us finger guns and leaving.

[Chris Cody]

Baby, you should listen to the Great Cody show podcast because that's all we do for 55 minutes a week is just say catchphrases. We even make songs about them and you know it is a song for crying out loud. It's great. Hopefully that's a SUI nominee for best song and you know it baby and you know it STS and you know it baby and you know it and you know it baby and you know it and you know it baby and you know it.

[Dan Le Batard]

This is the Dan Levatar show with the Stugats. The Jeremy song is I this is We Didn't Start the Fire. Now we have done this before. This song has been done before in a previous incarnation by Hawk, who produced a bunch of pirates. It was, as I recall, we didn't Start the Fire was just naming random pirates. I Do I have that wrong? Roy Blackbeard, dale Baron, John McKay, Bill Day, walk the plank. I patch Vince DiMaggio, Bill Madlock, Jim Fragosi, Connie Mack, Willie Star, Jolie Mazzy. Very good and confirmed. And now Jeremy is trying to get in there and Jeremy is trying to recap. He's trying to get me caught up because you do fall behind. I was disconnected on vacation when I wasn't in my phone falling down a flight of stairs. And so I don't know what happened. I will tell you that I learned a number of ridiculous things in Hawaii. One of them, I can't believe how popular our show is there. Like, truly stunned that our show in Hawaii. I was treated in Hawaii the way I'm treated in Miami in a way that just really caught me off guard.

[Valerie]

Anyone ask about me?

[Dan Le Batard]

They did, actually. There are big fans of the show. There are some questions I wanted to ask you guys.

[Greg Cody]

We were syndicated out there when we were at espn and it was a morning show for a lot of folks out there. I encountered that, too, when I went out there.

[Dan Le Batard]

Well, but I was really taken aback. It was heartening to see how popular our show is in ocean ocean away in a place that is just super lovely and reminds me of Miami in a lot of ways, except never saw any police officers there the entire time.

[Zaz]

How's the traffic?

[Dan Le Batard]

And there was no traffic. Like, I'm Saturday and Sunday night. I couldn't believe there was no traffic. They're going to sleep. They're going to sleep. They're not. They are not awake late on that island. There's not a lot of light on that island late at night.

[Roy]

There was no five zero.

[Dan Le Batard]

America is sleeping. And Hawaii goes to bed kind of early. And it was lovely. It was lovely the entire time.

[Chris Cody]

Did you bump into Oprah Winfrey?

[Dan Le Batard]

I did not. She's got a gated community there. Her and Zuckerberg are just. They've got half the island and they did right in doing that. Even as Zuckerberg builds a bomb shelter there because he doesn't want us to come for him when he steals all the things.

[Chris Cody]

Quite an aside there. By you.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah. So, yeah, well. But he's just gobbling up this precious, precious land there because he can. And it is offended the locals because that place is America and not America. Like, it's a little bit removed in a way. That's lovely. It's really nice, safe, fun and wonderful. I had a lovely time there. But the thing that took me aback was the number of times that I was arriving in sports fandom and it caught me off guard. One of them. I wanted to ask you guys how generally you feel about the deep sea. We're South Floridians here. My wife's brother and father are fishermen and outdoorsmen. So they are very comfortable with the deep sea as a family. Right. And so when I imagined snorkeling or what it is that we were going to do, I did not imagine that, that my visibility would be 150ft, but I would not be anywhere near seeing the bottom of the ocean. I would be near a volcano. And now I'm going out deep sea and I'm telling my wife because she's very comfortable with this. I'm like, honey, I don't. I know this group of people is comfortable with this, but I think most people are uncomfortable swimming in the deep sea. Even if it's a group of people. We're in the Pacific Ocean and this is a long ways out. So I don't know how comfortable you guys are with any of this, but I'm a little. Even with Ron McGill and everything else. I want to go see this in the wonder of it, but I'm a little unnerved because I don't love it. And emotion sick because it's big waves and I'm bouncing around and I don't feel very well and I'm in the ocean. And as we're going in, one of the people in our group of people, I don't know, it was 30 people.

[Zaz]

One of your snorkeling friends looks.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah, one of my snorkeling friends looks up at me and says, I don't know who this person is. I've never met him before. Dolphins over or under seven and a half and I had to go under there.

[Zaz]

Was he asking maybe, do you see seven and a half dolphins do you see right now?

[Greg Cody]

Deep sea snorkeling?

[Roy]

Did he say hello?

[Greg Cody]

How many are we gonna see?

[Dan Le Batard]

It was a good question though. Dolphins over under seven and a half. It's a tough one. I mean, you got the Patriots and the jets twice, but you don't trust your quarterback to stay healthy.

[Chris Cody]

It's low. Take the over. Trust me.

[Greg Cody]

How many dolphins did you see?

[Dan Le Batard]

Didn't see any dolphins under disappointing deep sea. How do you guys feel about this?

[Greg Cody]

Not a fan.

[Roy]

Nope, not a fan.

[Zaz]

As Tony would say.

[Greg Cody]

What's that?

[Dan Le Batard]

Knowing on my leg Because Valerie didn't understand I was saying, hun. I think most people are with me on this. I don't, I don't think most people. Like, I know in this group of people, this people, these people are fine with this. And I'm good with turtles and reeds, reefs and I'm, I'm good if I can see the ocean floor. But when my visibility is 150ft and we're by a Volcano and like. Oh, wait a minute. And. And our. And our. The catamaran is bobbing around in a way that if you're not taking motion sickness stuff, you're not going to feel very good.

[Chris Cody]

No.

[Greg Cody]

The ocean's for going in waisty, peeing, and getting right back out.

[Valerie]

I've never once been living my life. And I said, you know what I wish I was doing right now? In the deep sea.

[Dan Le Batard]

So, okay, so it's funny to have this conversation with Valerie. So put it on the poll at Le Batard show. Deep sea snorkeling. Yes or no?

[Zaz]

The visual of it with you doing it is funny.

[Greg Cody]

And in the Pacific, that's where the big ones are.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah.

[Zaz]

Did you fall backwards or. That's scuba diving.

[Dan Le Batard]

I was the one out there, and I felt pathetic because there were kids in the water. Right. I felt. And I'm. I'm holding the boogie board because I don't. I don't.

[Greg Cody]

Oh, you look like a seal. Are you crazy? Hey, you ever watch Shark Week in your life? You went on a boogie board in the deep sea off Hawaii. That you. You deserve to die, rookie. Straight up.

[Chris Cody]

Yeah.

[Greg Cody]

Did you wear yellow, too? That's yum, yum yellow.

[Dan Le Batard]

I feel like you cut yourself. Well, I was cut from the flight of stairs.

[Greg Cody]

Oh, no.

[Dan Le Batard]

The flight of stairs. I was. I had to help. My elbow and my knee were bleeding because. Yes. And. And so. But the thing that. So I'm surrounded by people who really are comfortable in this environment. They're here for the adventure of it. And the wonder of it is majestic. If you're not afraid, the discovery is awesome. Like, you'd be awed by what's down there. Colorful. The most beautiful things you've ever seen.

[Greg Cody]

Keep going. Because in my head, I'm visualizing Jeremy at the edge of his seat for 20 minutes, waiting to hear his own voice. And I'm loving the visual. Don't actually get to it.

[Dan Le Batard]

Right.

[Chris Cody]

By the way, our sources. Our research sources have confirmed that you referred to Billy as having a nice set of hair.

[Dan Le Batard]

You've got a good set of hair. Okay, you got me, Greg. I'm cornered, you idiot. Yeah, I feel so. I feel so foolish.

[Valerie]

He's refused bits today and corrected you.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah, it's okay to correct me. I just wish you were funny.

[Greg Cody]

He pointed to the wrong rose. That was a ruse.

[Zaz]

That was another thing.

[Dan Le Batard]

Can you play a little more for me of Hawk's old pirate song using the we didn't start the fire music as we wait, Jerry. As Jeremy Waits.

[Greg Cody]

Oh, Jeremy's head just blew up.

[Dan Le Batard]

See if his song will play. Scurvy Buried Treasure, Raymond James Stadium, Testa.

[Jeremy]

Verde, Keyshawn Johnson, Ken Obergfell, Ed Ott.

[Dan Le Batard]

Dave Parker, Leroy Selman, Chump Bucket, Michael.

[Jeremy]

Stott, Kentucky Richie Zidwick, Russell and Jon Gruden.

[Greg Cody]

Okay, that's a n. It is the ultimate recap song.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yes. And so Jeremy is going to catch me up on Three and a half Weeks Dolphin Seven and a half is a good question, but I have, I'm rarely right with Valerie. I, she, I'm usually actually wrong. I don't even mean like she's doing anything. I'm just often wrong. And so I was confused by her just being like, no, I think most people would enjoy jumping into the deep sea here and seeing what's here and love the possibility of that. And I was saying to her, well, I just thought we'd be going in like a lagoon or a, or a bay or something where I could see like a sandbar. Giant turtles. Well, look, all I'm saying is if it's 150ft of visibility, if I've got good stuff on my eyes and I can see, but I can't see near the ocean floor, I don't want to be there. Like, and I think some people who are outdoor people, like, I think there are many people listening to this thinking we are wasting our use of South Florida if we're not better there like that. We live in one of the great places for all of that stuff. And we are failing because we are landlubbers who can't appreciate why, why it is so many people live in this wonderful paradise we have down here. Like, I don't think we're exploring South Florida correctly.

[Chris Cody]

I love being in a boat on the ocean.

[Greg Cody]

That's great. I don't love a couple Miller Lights.

[Chris Cody]

Yeah.

[Zaz]

I don't like being outside of a boat.

[Chris Cody]

I don't like being underneath where the boat is sitting.

[Greg Cody]

That's a road game. No, thank you.

[Chris Cody]

Yeah, I mean, I live nine miles from the Atlantic Ocean. I can count on one hand the times in a year I'll whoop a shark on land.

[Greg Cody]

I treat the deep ocean the way that an SEC team would treat its non conference schedule. We're just playing these games at home.

[Zaz]

I'll just stand there for like five minutes. Now. What you got?

[Greg Cody]

Shark, maybe. Maybe Old Dominion.

[Valerie]

There's monsters in the ocean that you can't see.

[Greg Cody]

We know more about outer space and aliens then we know about the depot.

[Chris Cody]

I go to the beach once a year for a Panthers celebration of a Stanley cup win. That's it.

[Dan Le Batard]

We sound like idiots. I mean, Ron McGill would be infuriated. Did you guess what we're saying here? I did. No. Well, no, I took. I took motion sickness medicine before I went, and it's medicine that took me out for two days after.

[Valerie]

Were you wearing the deal behind the ear?

[Greg Cody]

I've done. I done all that. I did do the deep sea snorkeling in Hawaii. Against my better judgment. I threw up. Just. I got seasick within the sea. But all the other people on the excursion were very happy because all the beautiful fish that came to eat my puke.

[Dan Le Batard]

This was. I'm not. Let me throw a few things out at you first. Levitraz.

[Greg Cody]

None of them being Jeremy's song.

[Dan Le Batard]

None of them being Jeremy's songs. But perhaps a few more of Hawks Pirates. I think I wouldn't mind hearing just a few more of Hawks Pirates from this song. Fifteen years ago when we did it the first time, not well, we are scared of pirates. They are always scary and they're never caring. We are scared of pirates and we.

[Chris Cody]

Will not fight them.

[Dan Le Batard]

But we will start crying, crying.

[Jeremy]

Parish, Parish, Congo Congo. Cruise ship, Cruise ship Gruden. Cruden Parish, Congo. Cruise ship Gruden Parish, Congo. Cruise ship Gruden Parish, Gruden.

[Dan Le Batard]

Did you guys talk at all? And recapping while I was gone, did you guys talk at all about Gruden winning that leaked emails lawsuit? Because basically some judges got together and they were like, no, it's ridiculous. Goodell can't be the defendant and the arbiter on this.

[Zaz]

Now, we missed that topic.

[Greg Cody]

If only there were a way that we can find out the topics that we may have missed on vacation. But there's no way that's going to Discovery. Congrats to John Gruden on a settlement.

[Dan Le Batard]

You can't help but laugh at. We're going to put in front of judges. Judges. Okay. Hey, what do you think of this? Okay, so Goodell runs this hugely popular league and Gruden does a bunch of bad stuff by email. And they probably, you know, character assassinated him with a bunch of leakage. And you know who's going to hear the arbitration? The defendant, Roger Goodell. And it wasn't even unanimous. It wasn't all the judges saying, this is ridiculous. And congratulations, John Gruden, you're not a homophobe or a racist, even though we saw your leaked email. Else you are a freedom fighter and a martyr.

[Chris Cody]

There you go.

[Dan Le Batard]

Democracy lives taken apart by the NFL and it's greedy. Greedy means you guys didn't talk about that at all.

[Zaz]

Just we missed that one.

[Dan Le Batard]

Jeremy is going to be hurt now because he wants to recap the the last few weeks. What did I miss that I really would have wanted to talk about? Do you guys.

[Zaz]

Maybe we'd talk about it after the song.

[Greg Cody]

Song could help.

[Dan Le Batard]

Okay.

[Greg Cody]

But also pissing off Jeremy is appealing.

[Zaz]

Will Jeremy mention his own racism in his song?

[Dan Le Batard]

All right, let's play. Let's play a song. Let's play start of the day here. Let's do a start of the day Start of the day it is the start of the day Start of the day Start of the day it is the start of the day Start of the day Start of the day it is the start of the day Start of the day Start of the day it is the start of the day.

[Zaz]

A few weeks ago I said on here gave gave out some betting advice that if there's anything I know in the world, it's you always bet against Trevor Rogers. I gave that advice probably a little bit than a little bit more than a month ago.

[Dan Le Batard]

Go.

[Zaz]

Here's a Fun stat. Among 173 pitchers with 60 plus innings pitched this season, Trevor Rogers is 1.41 ERA is the best in Major League Baseball.

[Roy]

Oh boy.

[Zaz]

So my advice pretty bad. And in my defense, Trevor Rodgers was bad with the Marlins and something happened.

[Dan Le Batard]

Okay, this, this is a good entry point to just talk about what a laughing stop. This shows coverage of the AL east has been over the course of the last 18 months led by me and Chris Cody. I told you when I saw the Orioles, their minor league system and what they did last year. I told you that the Orioles would be good for 10 years. They are not because they have no pitching. Their best pitching is Trevor Rogers, who Chris Cody said and I agree with him. I said he's a 5.5era no matter when he pitches best in baseball. Okay. I also said because of how good the Orioles were and how good the Blue Jays are and how good the Rays are that the Yankees were closer to the bottom of the division than the top when the season started. I did this because of how good I thought the Orioles would be. They are not good, but Trevor Rodgers for them has been amazing. That concludes our embarrassing AL east coverage. We have gotten nothing. Right? You were kind of.

[Zaz]

The Yankees have been bad.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah, but I thought Baltimore was going to run that division. You don't understand how loaded their farm was. Like they just. They've had so many injuries, and pitching is a difficult thing because it's. Those arms get hurt too much. It's. It's crazy.

[Zaz]

I just got a text from Jeremy.

[Dan Le Batard]

What?

[Greg Cody]

I got one that said Orioles talk.

[Dan Le Batard]

Okay, wait a minute. What? That. That guy. What? He took time off from uttering slurs to text you guys.

[Greg Cody]

That is true. He is a racist.

[Dan Le Batard]

And now he's cursing at us. Bad work environment. Toxic work environment. I feel like that's bullying. Why is he cursing at us? Is there more of that hawk pirate song that you got there? Are we all out of pirates?

[Greg Cody]

Out of pirates? Is he racist or xenophobe?

[Zaz]

Yeah, that's true.

[Greg Cody]

Well, that's a slur, right? I don't know, but it was just like honed in on Irish people.

[Chris Cody]

Yeah, it really was fine tuned.

[Dan Le Batard]

Don LeBatard, what do we got here?

[Chris Cody]

I got a Magnum condom. We won't get that out.

[Dan Le Batard]

That's. That's shocking. St.

[Chris Cody]

Here's a picture of Christopher when he was like three years old.

[Dan Le Batard]

Right next to the condo. Yeah. Never forget, this is the D Ler show with the St. Billy, that haircut is coming. That. That, that is looking good. Lucio is doing a bang up job here of. Of cleaning up our people. Look at this. I don't know about his binder, his barber bind, but you guys would say if your barber has left for Lakeland, he's no longer your barber. Barber, right.

[Zaz]

Like, say, for a while.

[Chris Cody]

You don't chase a barber. He chases you.

[Zaz]

Wow.

[Chris Cody]

Yeah.

[Dan Le Batard]

Well, what if it's a good barber? No, I don't think you don't. You don't have this kind of intimate relationship with your barber because you don't care about these things.

[Zaz]

I did recently switch barbers because, like, he switched locations and I just didn't like that location.

[Dan Le Batard]

Wait a minute. I think this might be a three or four America's thing. There are absolutely, culturally here people, a whole bunch of people who have relationships with their barbers. Just because you gu. Care about your hair. This is an intimate act. You're having someone groom you. It's not. Not many men are doing a lot of other grooming professionally that they're handing out to others because of whatever our repressions are there.

[Chris Cody]

I just look at it as a haircut, you know, I don't. Grooming. I mean, come on. It's a haircut.

[Dan Le Batard]

Okay? It's looking good and taking care of how it is that you look. Billy, how is it going back there? Was your mistrust. Was your mistrust Misplaced.

[Billy]

No, I always trusted Lucio. That was not in question here. What are you doing with your barber? That's so intimate. By the way, that's more than just a haircut.

[Dan Le Batard]

I'm just. You don't normally lend out. A man doesn't normally lend out his grooming to others.

[Billy]

Okay, Lucio, how's this going so far?

[Dan Le Batard]

This is really good. No, this is almost finished. Almost finished. And five minutes more. Okay, gracias. Good decision there, Billy.

[Billy]

What's your favorite color? Lucio?

[Dan Le Batard]

Great. All right. How do I penalize it more?

[Billy]

There we go.

[Dan Le Batard]

Thank you, Billy. Appreciate all your good work in there. Keep. Keep it coming.

[Greg Cody]

Wait, one more question. Dolphins over under seven and a half. This one's for Lucio.

[Billy]

Lucio, do you think the Dolphins are going to win more or less than seven and a half games this year? There's 17 games, as you know.

[Dan Le Batard]

Seven and a half.

[Billy]

Yeah. So are they going to win eight games? Are they going to win seven games or more than eight? Or less than seven?

[Zaz]

That's how that's asked.

[Chris Cody]

I think maybe more than eight.

[Billy]

Wow. What do you make of the big Darren Waller news today?

[Dan Le Batard]

I don't have idea.

[Billy]

Okay. We're all kind of in that position right now.

[Dan Le Batard]

Not me. I'm in a different position.

[Chris Cody]

I know the only Darren Waller back there I want.

[Dan Le Batard]

I am rooting for Darren Waller. Thank you for all your good work there, Billy. And Lucio, not since the Sound of Clippers, not since Big Mac have we had such good work coming out of another part of the. It is a good sound. You're right. Nice.

[Chris Cody]

Nice.

[Billy]

Oh.

[Chris Cody]

It'S a great song.

[Billy]

Jeremy's so mad.

[Dan Le Batard]

Jeremy's song recaps what kind of things. Have any of you heard it?

[Zaz]

Yes, I've heard it. It's just obscure things on this. There are some news story items in there, but it's a lot of just mundane stuff from the show. Just kind of give you a feel for what you missed.

[Billy]

Yeah.

[Greg Cody]

Mainline what you missed out on Cliff Notes of the show over the last close to a month.

[Dan Le Batard]

And should we get to that, though, or. At this point, we're five minutes from ending the show. And how long is that song? Jeremy tends to be pretty long winded. And if I could talk about Zach Wilson for a while, I'd like to do that.

[Zaz]

Well, I think the song might inspire some topics. Oh, you talked about this. Why? So I would like to give a little back end time.

[Greg Cody]

Yeah. And also we kind of want to incentivize the creativity that Jeremy Tashay is bringing, which is, of course doing a parody of a parody song because Hawk did it first.

[Dan Le Batard]

But what if I wanted to talk about, like, the sadness that came over me because Mariano Rivera tore his Achilles during an Old Timers game?

[Valerie]

Well, how'd you find out about it when you were in Hawaii and you were, you know, disconnected.

[Zaz]

2:00Am Check.

[Dan Le Batard]

It's what I was looking for when I fell down that flight of stairs and bloodied myself in a way that would make me a victim.

[Chris Cody]

Totally sober at 2am the deep sea.

[Dan Le Batard]

I was totally sober. You say, Mariano? No, no. And I was wondering, if we do analyze Zach Wilson, can we play because of the Zach Wilson experience of every once in a while he'll make a throw and he'll be like, hey, that's John Elway. And then there's just the rest of the time. So can we have. Can we use on this show, Tom Hanks yelling at that volleyball Wilson to sort of chronicle the sound that a Dolphin fan will feel this season if Tua does indeed go down? And now you're stuck with the Zach Wilson experience of he's probably going to give you three interceptions, play a lot, make a lot of bad throws and make two throws a game that you're like, that's the best throw I've ever seen.

[Greg Cody]

Oh, I don't even know if he's QB2, though. Quinn, yours is lit the town ablaze. I Never heard about 4 for 16 talked about so positively. It was crazy.

[Chris Cody]

Yeah. Other than those two lost fumbles, though, really, I mean, really good.

[Dan Le Batard]

How did a Dolphins practice get so bad that it reached across a deep sea to me in the deep ocean where I was disconnected and people were talking about that bad Dolphins practice. But did someone explain to me what happened?

[Zaz]

He didn't follow the next day's news where they were like, they were better. A little better today.

[Chris Cody]

Better practice.

[Valerie]

Played Dolphin football.

[Billy]

Yeah.

[Chris Cody]

Whatever that means.

[Greg Cody]

And do you know what Dolphin football.

[Dan Le Batard]

I don't anymore. I don't. I don't know anymore what that means because this season at least they're going in again with no expectations. Like they did that thing. They did the same thing the Browns did. Did with. With Jarvis Landry and Odell Beckham and Baker Mayfield for one years where one year of expectations. You. You. The Bills and the Browns will be the laughing stocks for 15 years in the entire league. The Bills will climb out of it. The Browns will go black to go back to Flacco. That's not going black to Flacco. That's a totally different thing. And the Dolphins are here and I'm in the deep sea and a guy saying over under seven and a half. And I'm looking at the jets and I'm looking at the Patriots and I'm like, no, don't trust the quarterback to stay home healthy. And I'm going under and I don't feel comfortable about it. But it's just football is going to happen to them and they're not going to be able to withstand when football happens.

[Valerie]

Did he have a follow up?

[Dan Le Batard]

Well, he went off without a boogie board and I was still motion sick on the deck, on the deck of the boat and they're giving me a boogie board. And it was very. It was pathetic. It was like, sir, would you like. They saw. They saw I was a little green. They saw. They saw it. You want some help here? But you laugh. I believe our audience right now. Do you guys think I have this wrong? Is saying they cannot believe that we live in South Florida and between the all of us, there's no one who would want to go see a reef in the Keys where you'd see the most amazing fish you've ever seen in your life and have very little likelihood of anything actually eating you. I would think that the bigger danger would be currents and wind, honestly.

[Chris Cody]

But you're talking about scuba diving, right? You're talking about scuba diving, not just snorkeling.

[Zaz]

Snorkeling is what he's talking about.

[Chris Cody]

You got to go way down there to see anything interesting. If you're just snorkeling five feet below the ocean top, you don't see much, right?

[Dan Le Batard]

That is not accurate. Okay? And I'm not talking about scuba diving. I'm talking about snorkeling. And I'm also talking about the overall ignorance of the show displayed just there by not knowing anything about the ocean or the outdoors. Because we're fundamentally incompetent. But poorly, poorly we have led to Jeremy and I feel too bad and rested and sunkissed from vacation to actually not play the kids song. So catch me up, would you?

[Jeremy]

Famous who look worse than eg Rogue takes out the lens AJ Burnett bat James Izzy Happy Gilmore too Jesus eating Hot Pockets in Albert Pujo swims with Samson Bryce. I prefer Rob Manfred. No, really, Dan, that's. Dion had cancer. Mike wanted him in the dirt. Songs you hear at CBS sharing birthdays with celebs. Obama's from Pittsburgh. Dan, you haven't heard? Suck my Asshole is the name of a Gutierrez group text we didn't get fired no we didn't say it nothing vaguely racist can we dig a fire yeah we had an animal and we didn't get cancelled David visits Marlon spark to attack obili asking David would you that fish or not Hawk can wear that cuz he's black Magic Johnson's huge contract David went to the new beach with Larry buying best moon five copyright Marcy in a mash fight Jeff go nine in for the day Mike and Chris know what to say beaten down by streaming there's so much wrestling Pablo Torre making stories what about Epstein.

[Chris Cody]

No.

[Jeremy]

We didn't say and nothing vaguely racist and we did get fired yeah we had it in and then we didn't get cancelled Dolphins back up quarterbacks and there's multil do attacks Ethan gets his D not the first time that makes three every fighters Taylor Swift bowling scores to practices as locates us on IG and Honolulu uh oh Greg Cody slutty life tennis matches for his wife Tony's crash out alien earth scamming four bar mitzvah shirts cancer shaming Jerry Jones Gary Eliason JFK Florida way it's all east bullet la we didn't get fired no we didn't say it nothing vaguely racist can we didn't get fired well maybe I did but I totally didn't mean to and it was seriously an accident like who knows what that word means anyway.

[Chris Cody]

Very good.

[Greg Cody]

Lovely he's talented man Aw.

[Dan Le Batard]

I like the don slot one better.

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