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Dan Levitard
You're listening to DraftKings Network.
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Greg Cody
Craven the hunter who uses all the methods of the animals on December 13th.
Stugotz
Once you're on his list, there's only one way off. Are you like your father?
Greg Cody
He puts evil into the world and.
Stugotz
Get rid of people like him.
Greg Cody
Who's next? Witness the making of a new marvel vill.
Stugotz
You think you have some kind of honor?
Greg Cody
You're a criminal just like our father. Aaron Taylor Johnson is Craven the Hunter. Rated R. Under 17, 90 minute without parent. In theaters December 13th. This is the Dan Levator show with the Stuttgarts podcast.
Dan Levitard
There was no need for peppers Pray to be rained down on me dies to stay oh our time left eye injury Ohio sustain such drama you lost that's the deal. The video clearly shows with my eye almost blinded There's Harry and Lucy laughing.
Greg Cody
Baby I can tell you that I'm pissed They hit Rose with disgrace. Oh, she sounded like a goose who.
Jessica
Stepped on with heels.
Mike Ryan
Yeah.
Jessica
Even though Rose was in doom this hairy and Lucy laughing.
Dan Levitard
Even though I wasn't doomed There's Harry and Lucy laughing.
Jessica
My God, we got Shakira.
Greg Cody
Rose's accent is excellent. I think we have a problem on our hands though. I somebody just walked in here and handed me something and I don't know if that person is a lawyer. Let's close this chapter once and for all. Ladies and gentlemen of the Dan Levitard Show, I stand here today representing my client, Rose. The pepper spraying incident of 2024 robbed her of her ability to function like a normal human being. We've had time to reflect on this outrage. Yes, my client went viral, but at what cost? Her newfound fame as pepper spray girl is both a blessing and a curse. But Rose doesn't want your pity. She wants justice. And so we present our demands. My client demands are, number one, a lifetime supply of eye drops, preferably gold plated for dramatic effect. Number two, her own show, name it Rose does it because risking her life once wasn't enough. Number three, a two thousand dollar sound bed link to be Sent. Number four, Dan has to wear an eye patch for a week in solidarity. Number five, a company sponsored therapy dog, preferably a golden retriever named Pepper. Number six, Roy and David must do a TikTok dance in Rose's honor. A formal apology from Dan and Lucy delivered in a song and full sponsorship of her upcoming book, the Adventures of a Despised. No man, that's a despa is the word.
Pablo Torre
Spanish can be tough sometimes, huh, Dan?
Greg Cody
Complete with ads on the show and a branded candy cane book tour. Why was I handed this? What authority does the person have who handed me this?
Stugotz
I mean, reasonable demands.
Greg Cody
Yeah, not even producer Pablo Torre finds out is the name of the podcast. That song was excellent by Rose. I did not know that Rose had a singing voice. I did not know that she was capable of doing that. So I'm sorry that you were pepper sprayed, Rose, and I'm sorry that Lucy spent so much time laughing about it. Jessica, did you find it as funny as Lucy seemed to find all of that? Because she was laughing in the face of Rose as Rose was on the floor, you know, pawing at her eyes.
Dan Levitard
Some people laugh as a absurd, you know, coping mechanism, like when you're not sure how to react. Some people just kind of reflexively go, ah. Like when Northern Illinois beat Notre Dame, I laughed for like a week. I was dead inside, but I laughed for like a week. Now I don't give a shit about it anymore. I don't care. Redemption feels sweet, Dan, but some people just laugh when sad shit happens.
Greg Cody
Do you guys know anybody who does that? Other than Lucy? Because Lucy was saying it was her coping mechanism and I known Jessica as.
Jessica
She just my wife.
Pablo Torre
Anytime I'm in pain, my wife starts laughing. Me, while I work here, I stub my toe, she starts cackling.
Stugotz
My wife does that. If she trips and almost falls, she laughs as if at herself.
Jessica
If a child walks into something, my wife will laugh. My daughter walked into a sliding glass door and legitimately hurt herself.
Mike Ryan
And you're freaking out, right?
Jessica
No, but my wife. You were laughing too. No, no, no, I don't have that gene. My wife just couldn't stop laughing. I was there tending to our daughter.
Greg Cody
The coping mechanism, though, sounds like that your wife is just laughing you. Like, I could see you stubbing your toe. Is that she's. You're saying that's an empathetic response from her. That where she's feeling your pain and therefore laughing as opposed to laughing because you've hurt yourself?
Pablo Torre
Anytime I'm like, like, right, like, ah, man, like, she finds it funny, the act of me just, like, hopping around and. Yeah, she's laughing at me.
Greg Cody
Okay? There's no other way to look at it. That's not a cop. That's not a coping mechanism. That's her laughing that she's married an oath. It's just mean and that and a loveless marriage. Pablo Torre finds out is the name of the podcast. But I want to bring him into the. That's happening right now. Greg Cody refuses to read these lyrics.
Stugotz
Imagine that, Dan Patrick.
Greg Cody
We just soiled the middle of that Dan Patrick interview. Totally discombobulated a professional who's never discombobulated.
Mike Ryan
Right.
Greg Cody
Because I thought you guys. I've seen you guys working for the last 45 minutes. You guys have been trying to find words more palatable to Greg Cody than the ones he refuses to read here. You guys have been trying to produce Greg Cody for 45 minutes. He refuses to do what it is that you're doing. Refused to do it on the Dan Patrick show and now refuses to do it now.
Stugotz
Sure, yeah. Why wouldn't I?
Mike Ryan
Yeah, I mean, he said that 44 minutes ago he didn't want to do it.
Pablo Torre
The copy is cleaner than it was before.
Jessica
I don't even know if he. If he gave the new copy a look. I was like. I whispered in his ear, hey, read it. See if this is to your liking. But I think he's just against the entire concept, which is fine. Like, he doesn't have to do. I feel pretty confident in the script that we did. I think it's funny. I don't think any of these clips are gonna come back to haunt him. We went out of our way to clean up some of the langu.
Greg Cody
Greg, here's the thing.
Jessica
No one's trying to trick you.
Greg Cody
Pablo. Just hold on a second.
Jessica
Working within the rules.
Greg Cody
Just hold on just a second. Okay? I'm piecing it together. Is it possible. Can I just convince you of the following. And I understand if you do not trust these people this way, the producers of your show. But for many years, they have produced this show well enough to put us in all very good, likable, funny positions. They produce the show. Well, I don't believe either that you have read all of this copy I just read blindly handed to me. I had not seen the copy that was just handed to me by that person. Person who wasn't a lawyer. And I don't know what they do for us.
Mike Ryan
How'd that go?
Greg Cody
I have terrible regret about everything that just happened because that person's judgment shouldn't be trusted on Funny. Like in fact, whoever that was.
Jessica
Or Spanish, or at least your comprehension.
Greg Cody
Yes, Spanish.
Chris Cote
Dan's stumbling on. I believe he's trying to say despacito at first, which feels like not the right despo.
Greg Cody
I really ruined that because pretty pathetic.
Jessica
Which ironically, doing it despacito might have helped.
Greg Cody
Yes. So for who?
Mike Ryan
Major penalty. Five minutes pruning comedy.
Greg Cody
If I could leave right now, I would give myself the penalty for trusting the judgment of the person who came in and handed me that. But I trust my producers. That's. I trust the people. No, rare it is that somebody just walks in, hands you a piece of paper, you have no idea what it is you're reading, and now you're going to read it live on air. What I'm asking Greg Cody to do right now is to trust. I've watched them working over the last 45 minutes when they weren't busy ruining the show, talking about college football nonstop in a way that was super annoying. They were working on funny words to replace the ones they think that you're objecting to to make this cleaner copy. And I believe that they're handing something that if you read right now sight unseen and trusted them, that would make you laugh, make us laugh and not actually be something that is what you're worried about. But you have to trust them.
Stugotz
Yeah, a couple of things. Number one, as you referred to me, I'm the enemy of funny. You know, I'm a guy that was off air. I'm a guy who really doesn't like to go along with the job.
Greg Cody
That was off air. That was not an on air.
Mike Ryan
But he's hurt by it. Dan.
Stugotz
Okay. I mean, I'm, I'm the opposite of the enemy of funny, but you called me that and I, I'm, I'm just curious why like, like you had your dad reading them.
Greg Cody
I never did that. That was the producers of the show who I trust.
Stugotz
And now you're asking me to read them. Hypocrisy. The old guys. I guess it's funny when an old guy reads something vulgar. You got it.
Jessica
That's a ticket.
Mike Ryan
Well, yes, that's the trick.
Stugotz
I wanted to make sure I had that right.
Mike Ryan
In Dan's defense, he wanted Chris to feel what it is he's feeling when he has to listen to his dad.
Pablo Torre
Were we hiding that?
Jessica
No, dad, dad, old guy. Guy. That would be uncomfortable reading such sexy things. And you objected. And then we pivoted and we wrote old timey words.
Chris Cote
How Sexy. Was it just to jump in here?
Stugotz
It's 50 shades of gray, which is pretty vulgar.
Jessica
Well, you still have read it. Well, you still haven't read the script. I think you'd like it. I think it puts you in a winning position and makes. It gives. Gives you big laughs and you're a hero.
Mike Ryan
So, Greg, I will tell you that for 20 years, blindly, Mike hands me a piece of paper. Billy, Chris, they hand me a piece of paper. I trust them. I'm going to read it.
Stugotz
Right.
Mike Ryan
I understand, however, why you do not want to do this. I get it. It makes sense to me, but I.
Jessica
Just don't understand, like, he's not even proofreading it. It's not like we're doing this right. Read this right now, live. Like, just proofread.
Stugotz
It came up to me.
Jessica
I said, hand me a sheet of.
Stugotz
Paper live, while we're on the air.
Jessica
With Dan Patrick and proofread it to your liking. Like I said, you what? You were leading the interview. You had plenty of time.
Chris Cote
I think it's. Greg, I think it's fair to say if you were to read it now in a clinical way, as a matter of reviewing and approving, it would be different from you performing it. So could you read it just in a way that establishes that you've reviewed it, not in a way that actually ties you to it in a performance?
Stugotz
I would read it, but not allowed. Come on. Before I read it.
Jessica
What are we doing right now?
Chris Cote
I tried.
Stugotz
You read it.
Greg Cody
It's not as funny.
Jessica
It's not as funny if I'm reading those words. Because we are not going to give.
Greg Cody
Away the only joke that's in there now. Because you're the enemy of funny.
Jessica
Come on.
Stugotz
Because I'm the enemy of funny.
Pablo Torre
If I read it on air, I've.
Stugotz
Never done anything on this show.
Jessica
All right here. We've already ruined the comedy.
Chris Cote
I will read.
Jessica
I will read this, and then Greg will learn exactly why it's more funny if he reads. Just proofread it. Take your time and let me know if it's okay. Don't just die on a hill when you don't even want to read the art that Jeremy and I have created.
Stugotz
If I had it in front of me, I would be reading it.
Mike Ryan
Hold on, Tone.
Greg Cody
Only five minutes.
Mike Ryan
Pruning comedy.
Greg Cody
Mike Ryan, out. Oh, Greg, out.
Stugotz
Oh, no.
Dan Levitard
I don't get any credit for giving you some good synonyms.
Stugotz
You know what?
Sponsor Voice
Bye.
Jessica
We brought it in this back road today. Jess. Jess was absolutely.
Greg Cody
Out. Out. I didn't Jessica, I didn't kick you let you stay. Jessica, she gave you double birds. Wow. With handlebars. I didn't, but I didn't.
Chris Cote
I respect that move.
Greg Cody
Where did that come from? I don't even kick. I didn't kick her out. And I don't know why she's leaving, but okay, if you want. Get out of here, get out of here. Go sit in the Pablo. Check your email. Oh, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.
Pablo Torre
I finally saw how ridiculous he was being.
Greg Cody
Wait, wait, because.
Mike Ryan
Don't cave in.
Greg Cody
All right, you stop.
Pablo Torre
Let him cave in.
Greg Cody
Oh, all right, hold on a second. I need to slow everything down here for just a second, okay?
Mike Ryan
Because Dangerous game.
Greg Cody
Greg, where are you right now with this? Because while you were. While we're talking and while we're arguing and yelling at everybody, we have sent to Pablo, Pablo, check your slack. We have sent to Pablo what it is. And now I don't genuinely know whether you doing this, what the work of the producers, whether you should be the star of this segment or Pablo. I think the work maybe should go to Pablo now that you're asking to do it just so that you can see that it's funny. But I'm telling you that I believe that you reading this as. Look, Greg, it is so rare for me to see them during the show. Three of them working for 45 minutes on something together during, not listening to the show, just working for 45 minutes. When that comes to me, I trust it more than whoever that fool was who came in here and handed me that piece of paper that made me read Spanish on the phone.
Mike Ryan
That fool is serving a five minute major right now.
Greg Cody
It needs to be five months or five years because that's to never happen again. Do you know how much, how long. Look, go read the oral, listen to the oral history. If you want to know how hard it is for me to trust you that way. That person barging in here and handing me something to read on his funny.
Mike Ryan
I'm 20 years in.
Greg Cody
I'm still working on it. I'm not sure that person should work here anymore. If that person thinks it's okay to.
Stugotz
Do that, name that person.
Greg Cody
Well, but you're the enemy of funny.
Stugotz
Here because I'm the enemy of funny.
Greg Cody
Because I believe that if you read this, you're the funniest person to read this. As someone who has seen over the last 20 years what the producers of this show, when they can do, when given somebody's personality traits to make them A star.
Stugotz
Yeah. All right, let me have it.
Greg Cody
Chris, are you in agreement that it's funny?
Chris Cote
He has to do it. Dan, I'm looking at this. It feels like I can't be the guy trying to audition for the role of Han Solo when Harrison Ford's right there. Like this is the first line. Spoiler alert. Is darn tootin like you want me to.
Greg Cody
I've ruined.
Pablo Torre
Dammit.
Greg Cody
You know what, guys, get him out of here. There's so many more lies.
Jessica
Major penalty.
Mike Ryan
Moving comedy. What are we doing?
Greg Cody
Good. Keep him out for five minutes. No, stay down there. Stay. No, stay down there. I don't need any visual jokes from you. You get out of here. Here you go, Greg Cody, it's in front of you. And now you read, please. I stugot you tell me what you think is funniest here because I think Jessica and Mike want to be. Might want to be in here for this, but they're penalized as is Pablo.
Mike Ryan
Okay, I like both of them in the penalty box as Greg is reading this.
Greg Cody
Okay, go ahead and put them up on the screen, please, so people can see their reaction to their work with Jeremy there.
Stugotz
Just that. Right?
Greg Cody
Just all of it, if you don't mind. And I'm asking Greg. I was asking you to just read it instead of a proofreading it, just read it live like I was asked to do. Please trust the producers.
Pablo Torre
Slowly and sensually.
Mike Ryan
Well, trust Dan is what he's. What he's asking you to do.
Stugotz
Darn tootin. Only me. Her words are a siren's call to my libido. Losing all self restraint, I sweep everything off my desk, sending my papers, phone and pens all clattering or floating to the floor, but I don't give a hoot. I lift Anna and lay her across my desk so her hair spills over the edge and onto the seat of my chair. You want it, but you got it, baby. I growl, shipping out the prophylactic and unzipping my pantaloons. Making quick work of covering my doohickey, I stare down at the insatiable Ms. Steele. I sure hope you're ready, I warn her, grabbing hold of her wrists and keeping them at her sides. With one swift move, I'm inside her whatchamacallit. Ah, goodness me. Anna, you're so ready.
Mike Ryan
I mean unbelievable.
Greg Cody
I mean amazing. Now look how happy.
Mike Ryan
Look at that.
Stugotz
It was. Good editing. Good editing by the producers.
Greg Cody
Trust them. Trust your son. It's the reason that the Greg Cody show featuring Greg Cody is such a hit.
Mike Ryan
Well, trust Mike, trust Jess, your son. That's a whole different story. Why is Pablo back?
Greg Cody
I mean, he's got something to promote. It's the only reason he ever comes around here. His podcast is doing very well because he appears here and then follows his curiosities endlessly. Nick Wright called your podcast the world's most expensive podcast the other day. Where is it that you're going? What is it that you're doing this next episode?
Chris Cote
Well, some people left ESPN to open the microphones to spread the gospel of freedom in America. And that worked out, as we all know, real great. I left to get a butter sculpture of myself made, and butter me was very popular in the streets of New York City. So that's this episode that came out just yesterday. It's also an episode about sports statues with the Pulitzer Prize winning art critic. There I am.
Greg Cody
Yeah, it's made of butter, that sculpture. And you just, you're. This is all Dwyane Wade related. The Dwyane Wade statue related.
Chris Cote
I bet we got the leading authority on art in the world, arguably Jerry Salt of New York Magazine, Pulitzer Prize winner, to critique. He does not know who Dwyane Wade is. We had him critique all of the sports statues that have existed.
Greg Cody
Several years.
Chris Cote
And we culminated the episode in him evaluating butter Pablo. And so I just want to tell Nick Wright to go yourself. And he would know this as himself, a butter face. So, you know, in your face.
Greg Cody
I don't really believe one of you liberal elites should be shaming someone else on how they look, how their face looks, especially since these butter sculptors made yours skinnier than it actually is.
Chris Cote
Yeah, I am hot. I am real hot in dairy form. That was not my. Yeah, I couldn't believe it wasn't. It wasn't. Yeah.
Stugotz
Butter John F. Kennedy.
Chris Cote
That's what they said.
Mike Ryan
Yeah.
Stugotz
Really?
Chris Cote
That's what. That's what they said. Yeah, that's what Jerry Saltz, Pulitzer Prize winner, said that it looked like jfk.
Stugotz
How about that?
Greg Cody
Well, what are you doing there? Just scrubbing all the ethnicity off. You like, what are we doing there?
Chris Cote
Well, they gave me a better mustache. They increased the ethnicity in terms of just the stash. If you zoom in, you can see that it's. My upper lip has some more.
Greg Cody
All right, entirely self involved. So the episode is about you making a butter sculpture of yourself?
Chris Cote
No, it's about art and critic in an era in which people are afraid to criticize art, because, of course, there's a great sensitivity around actually being honest. And Jerry Saltz, by the way, is an incredible guy. And maybe I did when everyone left.
Greg Cody
All right, look, here. Here you go.
Chris Cote
Just keep myself.
Greg Cody
Do me a favor, Pablo, here on your way out.
Chris Cote
I was delicious.
Greg Cody
Just go ahead and give me all your important societal thoughts for one minute about the statement you're trying to make with this very important podcast episode of Pablo Torre finds out. And Chris, you just keep playing that music behind him when he says incred, incredibly pretentious things.
Chris Cote
All I'm here to point out is that the idea of criticism in the world of art has become an endangered species. We live in a time when people are afraid to actually point out in a coherent way with actually logically grounded opinion why something sucks if you are an artist. Okay, the Internet is not the place where criticism should be happening in this way. It's cheapened. But if you actually have the authority of somebody who has criticized a presidential portrait, as Jerry Saltz famously did of Barack Obama, the painter Kehinde Wiley put him in a throne against this beautiful, ornate African backdrop. Jerry said that sucked. And he explained why. And he was able to pursue a profession in which he can actually speak truth to the power that seems to be incumbent across all of the art world. There's a. There's a banana, as you guys know, that just sold for like nine figures. Jerry Salts will tell you whether that banana is actually worth eating. My butter sculpture. If you watch the episode, you will see there are at least three women in Washington Square park who wanted to see what I actually tasted like. And they found out. We all found out, actually. And that is journalism.
Greg Cody
Pablo Torre finds out. Wherever it is you get your podcast. Thank you, Pablo. Good seeing you again.
Chris Cote
Like you guys. Love you guys. Nick Wright.
Greg Cody
Okay.
Mike Ryan
Like you. Love you. That's a weird way. Yeah.
Pablo Torre
Odd way of saying that.
Greg Cody
All of it like us or love us and just. We don't need your language. Keep it classy. Like, honest to God, you just like that. You can do that. Now that you're not always at espn. Go ahead and do that at espn. Yeah, do that. Brave guy at espn. See how it works out for you. Go ahead and do that.
Chris Cote
It's not going great.
Greg Cody
Or msnbc. Go ahead and do it over there. See how that works out for you.
Dan Levitard
It's not espn, Dan. We can say butt plug now.
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Stugotz
Listen up.
Pablo Torre
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Greg Cody
There Back in my day.
Stugotz
There is, actually.
Greg Cody
What?
Jessica
Were you not going to tell anyone? Wait a minute, you guys. Guys, it's a Tuesday St.
Greg Cody
Guts. Here's your guy, Greg Cody with Back in My Day.
Stugotz
Okay, here it is. Sorry. Adultery.
Greg Cody
Wait a minute.
Jessica
Waiting for this one.
Greg Cody
This is the Don Levitar show with these two guys. Do you guys feel better? You produce Greg Cody. Greg Cody can be a reluctant star. And it seems like you guys are unsatisfied because he's not grateful for all the things you guys do for him.
Jessica
Well, we hyped it up. Instead of it being a surprise, it became this, like, weird battle of wills where he just didn't want to give me the consideration to even proofread it. I don't know what we do.
Greg Cody
I kind of liked it.
Jessica
And then he just took the.
Pablo Torre
And then he's just like, okay, I'll do it.
Jessica
Yeah, well, that was.
Stugotz
Well, that was.
Jessica
There was also a second half of it.
Mike Ryan
Felt the pressure.
Jessica
Yeah, well, all I was asking you to do was proofread it to make sure it was. It was to your liking.
Stugotz
Okay, I did. By the way, I want to melt the butter Pablo and put it on popcorn. How about that? No, you handed it to me live on the air. After I finally read it, I'm like, this is good. I like the sub words you used.
Jessica
I guess he didn't hear me when I moved your headphone and I said, please proofread your liking.
Greg Cody
He was angry. He was too angry. This is what happens when he gets angry. Like, Chris, this is.
Jessica
Well, I'm familiar with how he gets. Which is why it could have been funnier if we Just did it, Chris. Or if he proofreaded it in that. Proofread it.
Mike Ryan
You wanted it done on Dan Patrick is what you wanted.
Jessica
Yeah, yeah. Which we had the window if he proofread it.
Greg Cody
But he was. This is what happens with Greg. It is both when you ask him to do something that might serve him, and also when he stubbornly thinks he's right about something and then just sort of entrenches on it. Surely Earlene, his wife, would have a great many complaints. Greg will come around to your way of thinking, but he's gonna fight you tooth and nail on helping himself. He's just gonna be stubborn. And then when you get inside the anger, there's no talking to him. It's just bleep off. Now I'm angry. You can't get anywhere near him. He heard enemy of fun while being. In everything. You just heard he was being the enemy of fun.
Stugotz
Well, you described me properly. You know, I'm not gonna debate any of that. I mean, people. People see my stubbornness as one of my loving qualities. And, you know, it's.
Greg Cody
What are you talking about?
Stugotz
Yeah, my wife does.
Mike Ryan
No, she doesn't.
Jessica
I was caught up in this weird.
Pablo Torre
Quite the opposite.
Greg Cody
I don't believe.
Jessica
Weird power struggle when. When this whole back row was writing in service of you to put you over and make you look great.
Stugotz
I know, but you didn't trust us. But in your mind, it also would have been funny if you tricked me and I thought I was reading.
Mike Ryan
No, Greg. Trust us, Greg. That's what I was trying to tell you. Lesson learned here. When Mike puts Angie a piece of paper, just read it blindly.
Jessica
Yes. Moreover, I wanted to thank you for your challenge because. Yeah, old guy reading 50 Shades of Gray. That's funny. We established that with Bobby. You issued a challenge to make it funnier, to make it more palatable, and then we accepted the challenge. You didn't even trust us enough, even though we worked hard to proofread it.
Greg Cody
So you've just been handed another sheet of paper blindly that you have not been able to proofread.
Mike Ryan
Now, Chris handed him that piece of paper, not Mike. That's a different thing. I don't know.
Greg Cody
Well, I'm now gonna hand it to you. I also have not read this, and we would like I gu you to read this without.
Stugotz
Oh, I know that look.
Jessica
Okay, I'm not doing that.
Stugotz
I know that look.
Jessica
No, proofread it. It would be really funny if I just gave you the look to my neck, my back.
Greg Cody
I have the sheet of paper right now. And I think the funniest way to do this is for him to now trust you and read what's been placed without proofreading it.
Mike Ryan
But I sold Greg on. If Mike hand you a piece of paper. So I think you need to give that. I'll give it to Mike. Mike needs to come back in here and hand it.
Greg Cody
All right.
Stugotz
No.
Greg Cody
Who can give it to you that you would trust and read it blindly.
Stugotz
For the first time based on this setup? Nobody. And let me tell you what's going to happen. I'm going to read it extra slow, and if I come upon a word that starts with a V, as in victory, I'm going to crumble up the paper and throw it like a softball.
Greg Cody
That's the word. Like, that's the one word.
Stugotz
Any. There's a number of words I can think of.
Jessica
You got to give us Volvo.
Greg Cody
Volvo is allowed, isn't it?
Stugotz
Volvo the car. Yes. There's a number of words that I would not say.
Jessica
That's why you need us to write for you. Hey, Pablo, I want to.
Mike Ryan
I want to put that butter on popcorn.
Greg Cody
Greg, two jokes. I mean, Craig, two terrible jokes showing people what it sounds like when you're not produced correctly.
Stugotz
Volvo car. You're the. You're the one. Somebody else read that. You read it.
Greg Cody
I can read it if you guys think that will be funny. I want. I want to trust the producers of this show. Look, I have lost control of the show today. I'm going to owe Dan Patrick an apology when I get home.
Mike Ryan
Oh, geez.
Stugotz
Wow.
Greg Cody
There are a number of things that I wanted to talk about today that we have not gotten to. Okay. I'd be curious about all of the following. Okay. We didn't get to any of them, and I want to know whether you guys are interested in any of them. Jamie Foxx has a new special coming out. I really want to see what he has to say in it. Okay. Kendrick Lamar and father John Misty is a story that I want to get to. And just all the Kendrick. Kendrick Lamar stuff, I want to get to. Anthony Jeselnick special. I want to get to the Florida Panthers making the New York Rangers break everything up. I want to get to the idea of the Heat trading Jimmy Butler. I haven't had ability to get to any of these things today. Tyreek Hill having 10 babies now. Mike Tomlin, 18 straight winning seasons. I can't get to any of this stuff because of what you guys are wanting to talk about today. Ray Lewis possibly being the FIU Coach Paul Millsap retiring. When I associate him with only one thing ever, 16 year career, he was still playing. I think a lot of people had that reaction yesterday. And he retired in the middle of a season, which strikes me as unusual. I don't know where he actually was at the end, but I associate him with one game. It's not just one game. Stugotts against the Miami Heat in a regular season. That Paul Millsap game, game to me, when I heard of his retirement yesterday, reminded me of a time I long for so much, which is game 17 of a regular season mattering in any way at all.
Mike Ryan
Like, as.
Greg Cody
As I'm trying to maintain interest in the NBA season, and I'm like, you know, I. How am I going to talk about the Heat? They're. They're vastly less interesting than they have been for a long time. And yeah, Bam's falling apart, but they're a middling team, and they're probably going to trade Jimmy Butler to, you know, Houston and Dallas want him, but you're not going to get very much in exchange for Jimmy Butler. That's going to make you better right now. Like, I don't think. I don't think Dallas or Houston have pieces that are better than Jimmy Butler as a piece. You'd be trading away today for tomorrow because you'd be acknowledging your today is no longer good enough.
Mike Ryan
Millsap last played in 2021, so he was hoping that, you know, if he hung around long enough, someone would sign him. No one signed him, so he decided to retire.
Greg Cody
Okay, so he wasn't on a team anywhere, but he was collecting money. And for some reason, in the middle of that contract, not playing for three years now, he is retiring. But that's. Which of these stories do you want to get to? Or do we want to stay in Greg Cody's anger and 50 Shades of Greg?
Jessica
Well, the way all this broke is if it was just organically read on the air, we could do that. But now we've built this up. The execution was good. It was funny, and I'm reading the script and. And we did this in separate segments. We have the expectation of funny now. And while this is funny, it's not funnier than the first one, in my opinion. So we're gonna get back in the lab and write something that.
Mike Ryan
There you go. That's how trust is established. You see what I'm saying?
Stugotz
Very well done.
Greg Cody
And all of those things that I mentioned, I didn't even mention that Greg Cody is also dying to talk about his hall of fame, baseball vote, which he is very proud of. And the fact that Wu Tang Clan sent him some sneakers. That is funny because he's 70 years old. And now Wu T. Is in business with Greg Cody. Funnier when. Because they did make us amend. They made us members of the clan in Las Vegas. You guys do remember that?
Mike Ryan
They did.
Greg Cody
They made us honorary members of the clan.
Jessica
Which clan?
Greg Cody
That's exactly the phrasing I want. Thank you. I was going to let it sit there by itself. And Greg Cody has been sent Wu Tang shoes that are. That are cool. But this room is not qualified to tell you what is stylistically cool. So, Jeremy, Jessica, Mike, the shoes.
Jessica
You see my slacks? They're linen.
Greg Cody
The shoes that Wu Tang sent Greg Cody.
Stugotz
Look at this.
Greg Cody
What do you guys think of these shoes? My wife liked them.
Pablo Torre
She's got bullshit that I didn't get a pair.
Greg Cody
Dan.
Jessica
Yeah, I'm pretty sure I said that.
Greg Cody
I'm wrong.
Mike Ryan
Those are nice.
Dan Levitard
The Hee Haw 3 did sing Baby I like it Raw.
Mike Ryan
Yep.
Dan Levitard
In Vegas.
Mike Ryan
Same industry.
Greg Cody
Yeah.
Pablo Torre
Only the lead singer is getting shoes.
Stugotz
Maybe I like RA.
Greg Cody
Not listening to your complaints at all. Self involved as every lease.
Dan Levitard
I can't read 50 Shades of Gray, but I'll do that again.
Stugotz
Let's see what size they are, huh? Are they the right size for Greg?
Dan Levitard
What size shoe are you, Greg voting against that?
Stugotz
I am about 11 and a half. Wow.
Greg Cody
He does like it Raw.
Mike Ryan
What size are those, Greg?
Stugotz
Close enough. They look so good. Yay. 11 and a half.
Greg Cody
Wow.
Mike Ryan
They got it right.
Stugotz
These fit me perfect. Exactly. Should I try him on?
Mike Ryan
Yes.
Stugotz
Wow.
Greg Cody
He is so delighted. The gift we've given him is as the center of attention as a gift getter. Like right now, he's not even doing show right now. He's just enjoying his self involvement.
Mike Ryan
And I'm enjoying him enjoying his self involvement.
Greg Cody
Swimming in it like he. He thinks. He doesn't care whether this is entertaining. He's entertained because someone has given him something cool for free. Like this. This is how it's going to be at the gates of heaven for Jesus Christ.
Mike Ryan
It's tough with a new sneaker.
Stugotz
I can't even get these on.
Mike Ryan
Yeah, you got to like, loosen up the laces down.
Pablo Torre
You probably haven't wore high tops in how long?
Stugotz
I haven't worn high tops. Last time I wore high. Do me a favor, Greg.
Greg Cody
Let's see if we can multitask, old man. Give us all your hall of fame takes while trying to put the sneaker on. Let's See how long that takes.
Stugotz
I mean, I made a lot of notes.
Greg Cody
All right, let's see how long all of that takes.
Jessica
Let's see how windy the microphone travels.
Mike Ryan
Wait a second. He has hall of Fame notes. Greg, let's get gap notes.
Stugotz
These can't be 11 and a halfs tight. Unless my feet have grown overnight.
Mike Ryan
You want me to help you?
Stugotz
My feet are still growing.
Pablo Torre
Putting on high tops.
Dan Levitard
You should help them.
Greg Cody
Hold on, everyone. Slow down. No help.
Jessica
No Help.
Stugotz
No, I'm good.
Chris Cote
I'll get them.
Greg Cody
Greg, do all of this at once, though. We've got. Look, we've got four minutes left in the show, okay?
Stugotz
Right.
Greg Cody
The struggle of you giving us all your hall of Fame takes while trying to put on the show. Put it on the shoe. I want to listen to all of that.
Stugotz
Okay, I'm. I'm going to. I'm going to vote for Billy Wagner again. I always vote for Sheffield, and this is the last time he's on the ballot.
Mike Ryan
Really?
Stugotz
I always vote for A Rod and Manny Ramirez. The new guys who are absolutely first ballot hall of Famers are Ichiro, of course, and Cece Sabathia. I have never voted for Andrew Jones, but I'm going to give him a long, hard look, Right? This shoe fits me like a glove. Wow.
Greg Cody
Put on the second one and give us the rest of your hall of Fame analysis.
Mike Ryan
I can't believe he's never voted for Andrew Jones. That's. That's insane. What?
Pablo Torre
You say you're going to give it a long, hard thought?
Stugotz
We're going to give it a long, hard look, baby. Sounds like something out of 50 shades of gray. A long, hard look. All right, listen, what else? Chase Utley. Now forget about it. My man Beltron. Sorry. Close.
Jessica
Don't count Mr. Rogers vibes right now. This is taking me back a little bit.
Stugotz
Felix Hernandez. No.
Mike Ryan
King Felix.
Stugotz
You know what? Maybe eventually not a first ballot guy.
Mike Ryan
I don't like Ichiro as a first ballot guy. I gotta be honest.
Stugotz
Are you serious? No.
Greg Cody
What?
Stugotz
No way.
Jessica
Feels a little xenophobic.
Stugotz
No, we love Ichiro. Ichiro's the first ballot guy. 100%. These shoes. I'm floating on these shoes.
Mike Ryan
Mike, I gotta tell you, you're lucky. I don't know what that means.
Stugotz
These are great. Thank you. Wu Tang Clan phobic.
Pablo Torre
Kick your feet up.
Greg Cody
Yes.
Dan Levitard
Put your feet up on the table.
Pablo Torre
Pick your feet up. Pull the mic closer to you.
Mike Ryan
You look great.
Greg Cody
Oh, they look great.
Mike Ryan
Especially with the jeans.
Pablo Torre
Can you still get your feet up on the desk?
Stugotz
I tell you what. I'm serious.
Mike Ryan
Yeah.
Stugotz
These shoes are magical. What do the kids say? What's a good verb for. These are neato whatchamacallits.
Greg Cody
They look good. These are your fire pantaloons slacks.
Stugotz
These are sticky. The kids say that. That's not one of them.
Dan Levitard
That's also from 50.
Stugotz
This is gas.
Pablo Torre
That was from Lewis.
Stugotz
I'm a one. No, seriously, these are great. I love them. Thank you all. I appreciate Greg.
Jessica
When he's constipated during Thanksgiving, I'll be wearing these home.
Mike Ryan
Yep. Any more hall of Fame takes or no?
Stugotz
I think that about did it. I'm. You know, I only get 10 votes. I normally don't use all 10.
Pablo Torre
Can you do a riz face working the rizz face?
Jessica
Yeah, work in the ridge.
Pablo Torre
Just like grab your chin like you're really interested in something.
Jessica
Like a little question mark over your lip. And then.
Greg Cody
Nailed it.
Pablo Torre
Now say boom.
Stugotz
Boom.
Greg Cody
No, no, that's all right.
Stugotz
No, no.
Dan Levitard
That was hotter than anything in 50 shades of gray.
Stugotz
Absolute petrol.
Greg Cody
You've come so far from Volvo. Also 50. The Greg Cody Show. Featuring Greg Cody. Stu Gotz is.
Mike Ryan
I'm so happy.
Greg Cody
The most recent guest. The book signing is canceled. For those of you who had made big plans to be there tomorrow night at a church, we're assuming it's an act of God.
Stugotz
I like to think of it as postponed. Right, Stugots?
Mike Ryan
Yes, exactly.
Greg Cody
It's going to be rescheduled. You're promising the listener that it's going to be rescheduled.
Dan Levitard
I love that this all happened because Notre Dame has a cornerback named Christian Gray that caught a 99 yard pick six. What a show. You never know what's going to happen on the show.
Greg Cody
Dan. That is right, Jim. How are you feeling right now, Greg? I feel great. You are radiant. Look at him. Just a celebration of self said an hour ago. I know. So angry at us. Way to go, Greg.
Stugotz
These are terrific.
Jessica
This is a new and unimproved D.
Greg Cody
Ler show with the Stugas gamble on by DraftKings.
Jessica
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Summary of "Hour 2: Fifty Shades Of Greg" (feat. Pablo Torre) The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz Release Date: December 4, 2024
In this episode of The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz, the hosts embark on a humorous and contentious segment titled "Fifty Shades Of Greg." The premise revolves around Greg Cody being challenged to read a risqué script inspired by the popular "Fifty Shades" series. The segment quickly becomes a focal point, showcasing the dynamic between Greg and the production team.
Notable Quote:
As the segment unfolds, Greg expresses his discomfort and skepticism about reading the script live on air. He questions the authority and intentions of the person who presented him with the material, leading to a spirited exchange with Stugotz and other team members.
Notable Quote:
The producers, including Pablo Torre, Jessica, and Mike Ryan, attempt to convince Greg to embrace the comedic challenge. They argue that the script has been meticulously crafted and that reading it could enhance the show's humor. However, Greg remains steadfast in his reluctance, citing concerns over comedic timing and appropriateness.
Notable Quote:
Despite multiple attempts, Greg refuses to read the script live, leading to escalating frustration among the hosts. They implement a mock penalty system, playfully chastising Greg for his hesitance and emphasizing the comedic potential of the segment.
Notable Quote:
As the "Fifty Shades Of Greg" segment consumes much of the episode, Greg laments the numerous other topics they failed to cover. These include Jamie Foxx’s new special, Kendrick Lamar collaborations, Anthony Jeselnick's special, the Florida Panthers vs. New York Rangers, and Tyreek Hill’s rumored family news. Greg humorously lists his disappointment over not discussing these intriguing subjects.
Notable Quote:
Amidst the tension over the script, a lighter moment emerges with the introduction of Wu Tang Clan-inspired butter shoes sent to Greg. This quirky gift becomes a comedic focal point as Greg and the hosts engage in playful banter about the shoes' style and functionality.
Notable Quote:
After prolonged deliberation and humorous attempts to get Greg to comply, the producers concede that the "Fifty Shades Of Greg" challenge may have run its course. They decide to redirect their focus towards other segments, emphasizing the importance of trust and collaboration within the team.
Notable Quote:
The episode wraps up with the hosts reflecting on the day's events, highlighting the balance between comedic experimentation and maintaining the show's integrity. Greg acknowledges the show's broader agenda and expresses optimism about future topics, even as the playful tension from the "Fifty Shades Of Greg" segment lingers.
Notable Quote:
Dynamic Tension: The interplay between Greg Cody and the production team underscores the show's emphasis on humor and spontaneity.
Comedic Experimentation: Attempting unconventional segments like "Fifty Shades Of Greg" highlights the hosts' commitment to keeping the content fresh and engaging.
Team Trust: The episode emphasizes the importance of trust and collaboration among the hosts and producers, even amidst playful conflicts.
"Hour 2: Fifty Shades Of Greg" showcases The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz's signature blend of sports commentary, pop culture insights, and unabashed humor. Through the comedic struggle to get Greg Cody to embrace a daring segment, the episode delivers both laughs and a glimpse into the behind-the-scenes dynamics that make the show a favorite among listeners.