Hour 2: Help, I've Been Orbitally Altered! (feat. Amin Elhassan)

Summary

The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz

Episode: Hour 2: Help, I've Been Orbitally Altered! (feat. Amin Elhassan)
Date: January 5, 2026
Location: Elser Hotel, Downtown Miami

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Episode Overview

This episode dives deep into a mix of NFL playoff intrigue, NBA storylines, live event fiascos (with a local Miami flavor), and signature irreverent banter. The addition of Amin Elhassan brings sharp NBA analysis and plenty of comedic moments as the crew reacts to recent NFL and NBA news, recounts the chaos of Miami’s Winter Classic, and riffs on the very spirit of Miami sports life. The main thrust: from surprising NFL playoff contenders to the pitfalls of putting major events in Miami’s much-maligned stadiums, all wrapped in the wit and randomness that defines the show.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. NFL Playoff Picture & Team Dynamics

(01:35–06:13)

• Jacksonville Jags' Resurgence:

  • Mike Ryan wonders why Jacoby Myers hasn't received more credit for transforming the Jaguars.

    "They are a team that is running roughshod over people... Jacoby Myers has changed the landscape..." (01:35–02:50)

  • Stugotz points out Myers' numbers aren't gaudy, but his impact on offensive structure is key.
  • Trevor Lawrence's emergence, Liam Cohen's coordinator role, and the trend of young play-callers revitalizing franchises like the Bears and Jags are explored.

    "Chicago Bears presently have the best quarterback they've ever had. Caleb Williams almost got 4,000 yards..." (03:17)

• Other NFL Takeaways:

  • Surprising changes to typical power dynamics (Seattle, Rams) and disbelief in Jacksonville persists until they win a championship.
  • San Francisco, Seattle, and Denver's defensive prowess discussed.
  • Concerns for the Bills facing a streaking Jacksonville.

2. NBA Check-In with Amin Elhassan

(06:13–09:00)

• Cleveland Cavaliers' Regression:

  • Amin points to injuries, depth, and "whispers" that coach Kenny Atkinson may be wearing on players.

    "He is a very demanding coach, and the rumblings are like, yeah, the guys are kind of reaching their limit..." (07:09)

  • Mike Ryan: Atkinson changed their offense, but personality clashes linger.

    "Sometimes you can be right and still a jackass that nobody wants to be around." (07:55, Amin)

• Draymond Green's Ejections:

  • Stugotz asks why Steve Kerr acts surprised, Amin explains the nuance of Draymond's behavior and ref dynamics.

3. Signature Banter, Impressions, & Podcasting Lines

(13:00–13:57)

• A segment about impressions degenerates into self-aware discussion about race and sensitivity in media.
  • Mike Ryan:

    "We cannot be taking judgment...from the local drunk on whether or not you should do the impersonation of a black man stumbling over his words..." (13:16)

  • Amin:

    "The line is where we feel alive, though." (13:54)

4. Amin Elhassan’s “Weekend Observations” — Fast Takes Across Sports & Pop Culture

(14:08–21:58)

• Multiple “Holy Mike was right” moments:

  • Miami Hurricanes run; NFL upsets; Jokic’s dominance; Boston Celtics' streaks.
  • On the Canes’ success:

    "The Canes Aggied the Aggies. They bucked up the Buckeyes. And now all that stands between them and the national title game is a school that thinks being proud of being on the wrong end of the war about slavery is somehow a cool thing. The Rebels." (14:08)

  • Nuggets collapse (“might be cooked”), clever use of Google for obscure NBA player backgrounds.
  • Jokic’s MVP season:

    "They scored like 30 points in five minutes of basketball. It was unbelievable." (15:34)

  • Old man on a flight with "floodlight" iPad brightness.

    "I felt like I was escaping Alcatraz and they had the floodlights on me." (16:38)

  • Jalen Brown’s “Player of the Month” gripes and Victor Maitland (Beverly Hills Cop) references (19:05).

• Pop Culture Anecdotes:

  • “Austin Powers” turns 27; musings on Mike Myers “just rich and chilling.”
  • Fun shoutouts (Eddie the mailman), player/fan stories, and multiple bits about being “loud wrong” on Panthers.

• Cinephobe Plug:

  • Discussing “200 Cigarettes” and "Sing Song Blue," which led to mismatched movie expectations.

• Memorable Quote:

  • On Jalen Brown:

    "...I could not name a single player of the month recipient a day after they announced it. Other than the one that Hakeem won in 95 because he won player of the Month while fasting the entire month for Ramadan." (19:34)

5. Winter Classic Debacle at LoanDepot Park (Miami)

(21:58–33:39)

• Ticket Prices and Logistical Nightmares:

  • Chris Cody describes the expensive, chaotic experience — long lines, running out of food, poor signage, gridlocked Ubers, and lackluster stadium experience.

    "The worst day of my life, which was FIU-Miami and I went to this. And outside of the World Baseball Classic, there hasn't been one time where I come away with the feeling like, wow, this stadium operations gang has it together." (23:10)

• Stadium Flaws & Neighborhood Issues:

  • Segment highlights that the park was never designed for this sort of major crowd (David Sampson’s legacy), and the lack of restaurants or bars nearby.

    “It’s the only building I can think of where the immediate surrounding environment has zero restaurants, zero bars. Wendy's!” (33:07, Amin)

  • Reference to the broken promise of economic development in Little Havana.

• A Touch of Nostalgia:

  • Reminiscence of the Orange Bowl and old haunts like Bull Bar.

  • "Even then, you know what it was like getting in and out of the Orange Bowl... that was a lot better run than this is." (34:17, Chris Cody)

6. Combat Sports & The Limits of Schadenfreude

(35:26–39:00)

• Jake Paul’s Broken Jaw:

  • After his loss, the crew reflects on why watching Paul get hurt wasn't as gratifying as expected.

    "If you ask me before the fight, hey, will it all be worth it if he gets his jaw broken? Yeah, I'd say yes. And then I watched, and I was like, not worth it, Dan." (36:18, Mike Ryan)

• Aspinall’s Eye Injury — “Orbitally Altered”

  • Jeremy and Mike Ryan detail the brutality of an eye gouge that threatens Tom Aspinall’s career, poking fun at the phrase “digitally orbitally altered.”

    "You have to take that back. Once the guy needs multiple eye surgeries...The man has been digitally orbitally altered in a way that affects his vision for the rest of his life." (38:38, Mike Ryan)

7. On Netflix, Sports Broadcasts, and Streaming Wars

(39:40–42:12)

• The Netflix Move Into Live Sports:

  • Discussion of Netflix's entry into sports, from boxing to Christmas day NFL games.

    “All of these streaming services are doing a great job making everyone else be better at the production of television events.” (41:31, Mike Ryan)

• Production Quality & Guest Selections:

  • Reflections on who ESPN/Netflix selects as guest alumni for broadcasts, with comic criticism aimed at Washington's choice of Clinton Portis.

• Amin's Send-off: Lingering malaise, coughs, and the news that Mike Myers is working on "Shrek 5."

  "Of course, he is. Counting money in production. Money." (41:58, Amin)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (with Timestamps)

• On Jacoby Myers & the Jaguars:

  "Jacoby Myers has changed the landscape...Why wouldn't more people talk about Jacoby Myers as a season shifting, conference shaping acquisition?"
  – Mike Ryan (01:35)

• On Orange Bowl nostalgia versus reality:

  “Even then...in-game experience, concessions and all that, and getting in and out and logistics and no blocky, all that was a lot better run than this is.”
  – Chris Cody (34:17)

• On “Orbitally Altered” Injury

  “The man has been digitally orbitally altered in a way that affects his vision for the rest of his life.”
  – Mike Ryan (38:38)

• On Player of the Month:

  “I could not name a single player of the month recipient a day after they announced it. Other than the one that Hakeem won in 95 because he won player of the Month while fasting the entire month for Ramadan.”
  – Amin Elhassan (19:34)

• On the Miami stadium experience:

  “I can't say a good thing about it. Bulldoze it. Well. Well, you can't have Winter Classic at Hard Rock Stadium because it's within the football window. They should have punted this to Freedom Park was open because that place sucks.”
  – Chris Cody (31:12)

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Important Segment Timestamps

• Jacksonville, Chicago, and Changing NFL Powers — 01:35–06:13
• Cavs Struggles, Draymond Ejects — 06:13–09:00
• Race, Impressions, and Podcast Edges — 13:00–13:57
• Amin’s Weekend Observations — 14:08–21:58
• Winter Classic Fiasco — 21:58–33:39
• Jake Paul, Aspinall, and “Digitally Orbitally Altered” — 35:26–39:00
• Netflix, Streaming & Shrek 5 News — 39:40–42:12

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Final Thoughts

This episode blends high-level sports analysis, self-aware humor, and the unique lens of Miami's sporting culture. Whether you care about NFL playoff picture, NBA personalities, or just want to hear a group of friends mercilessly roast a stadium, this hour is quintessential “Le Batard Show” — equal parts informed, outrageous, and lovingly local.

Transcript

[Dan LeBatard]

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[Chris Cody]

This is the Dan Levator show with the Stugats Podcast.

[Mike Ryan]

I'm curious as before we get to Amin Elhassan and his weekend observations. With all of the analyzing that we do of football, all of the love that we have of transactions and player movement and when a team gets a star, what has happened to the Jacksonville Jags since trading for Jacoby Myers is startling. They are a team that is running roughshod over people. They are not turning the ball over anymore. They have 18 touchdowns. Their offense is formidable and not to be questioned over the last six weeks. If you look at their losses over the course of this season, it's only against good teams. They've beaten a lot of good teams. Jacoby Myers has changed the landscape of when we were talking about Daniel Jones and they traded for Sauce Gardner and we talked a lot about Sauce Gardner. Why wouldn't more people talk about Jacoby Myers as a season shifting, conference shaping acquisition?

[Stugats]

I think because the numbers aren't big. Like you're really going in the weeds if you acknowledge what Jacoby Myers has done because it moves one player to the slot and Jacoby Myers is a better receiver on the outside and that guy was like. Jacoby Myers though is, is not putting up big time numbers.

[Mike Ryan]

No, but their offense is. It's, it's five and a half games since Thanksgiving. 18 touchdowns, one turnover. They've won eight in a row. We only doubt them because no one's going to believe in Trevor Lawrence until he's done it. But what I'm telling you is over the last half of a season he has like it's not, it's not up for dispute. He's, he's putting up statistically numbers that make their offense something that's rolling.

[Stugats]

I think it's also easier to give the credit to Liam Cohen. I think that's probably the easiest.

[Mike Ryan]

Well, but we're doing, we're doing the change of power in football. So Ben Johnson, the Chicago Bears presently have the best quarterback they've ever had. Caleb Williams almost got 4,000 yards. They're the only franchise in the NFL's history that has never had a 4,000 yard passer. They're set for the next few years because they've got a quarterback who can bring the last two weeks his team back from down 16 nothing. Even if they've been farting around all game like you've got, you've got two teams. Teams where the new young coordinator came and said you know what, give me a stallion quarterback and let me show you what I can shape him into. And both of those teams are not only exceeding expectations, they're, they're very, they're similar. And Jacksonville will not be believed in until after they've won the championship.

[Stugats]

How much of a role does Trevor Lawrence's emergence and granted really in the second half of the season, which also coincides with Jacoby Myers acquisition. But how much does it matter that Liam Cohen is there now and we see what's happened to Baker Mayfield this season in Tampa minus Liam Cohen like, I think he's the difference.

[Chris Cody]

I'm worried about this. If I'm a Bills fan, it's a good team. And also the Jags, they occupy this weird place in NFL history where they have like this one outlier weird run and then they're bad the very next season. But the run takes them all the way to the AFC championship game.

[Mike Ryan]

I have made my assessments on what the top of that sport is based on watching what Seattle and the Rams have been doing and thinking that they're the best. But I would put Jacksonville, Jacksonville's talent level, I would put in a class in a class with them only because I haven't seen anyone do that to Denver at Denver this year. That's a defense that's crazy good. Like that defensive line is crazy good. And there were no answers for what Jacksonville took to Denver like that. Denver's supposed to have the best advantage in the AFC because they get to play a couple of home games and they get a buy. But they should be terrified if Jacksonville rolls into that. Even with certain back. They had no answers for Jacksonville and he's the defensive player of the year.

[Stugats]

I was really surprised at what Seattle did on Saturday nights. Like I thought San Francisco was going to win that game. And they hold. You know, you want to talk about Denver's defense, San Francisco has been the hottest team in the NFL up until this weekend, and Seattle holds him on the road to three points.

[Mike Ryan]

Well, is is Mike McDonald's record now 15 and two on the road the last two seasons? Is he 15 and two the last two seasons with a team that travels but doesn't need the one seed? Because the thing with Sam Darnold, his QBR is not very good over the last few games like his. The same thing that people fear with Sam Darnold is the thing that can wreck this season just like it wrecked Minnesota's last one.

[Chris Cody]

Another storyline that's interesting for me is if San Francisco can get out of the first round, Fred Warner's return is looming. He might. As sick as it sounds, he might be back for them.

[Mike Ryan]

Amin Alhassan. Whoa.

[Chris Cody]

Per Adam Schefter, the Raiders have fired.

[Dan LeBatard]

Head coach Pete Carroll.

[Mike Ryan]

Wow, that's a big reaction from Amin. Look at that. He's joining us from a frozen tundra somewhere. You're surprised that Pete Carroll's been fired after going through 3 and 14. And after yesterday's big victory in Travis Kelsey's final game over the Kansas City Chiefs, he delivered.

[Amin Elhassan]

They won the number one overall pick. They got it why did he get fired?

[Mike Ryan]

Again, just a reminder, Atlanta Falcons fired Raheem Morris two years ago. Could have had Bill Belichick. Things change a lot in two years. Are you ready to do weekend observations? I mean, before we do, I've had a question. I've wanted to text you for the last two weeks, and I haven't done it, so I'm just going to ask you on air. Please explain why the Cleveland Cavaliers are regressing. I don't. Why is that team not at the top of the conference?

[Amin Elhassan]

There's a couple of reasons. They've dealt with injuries, that's for sure. But even without the injuries, they just haven't played well. And really, it's their offense. Their offense a year ago was stellar, and now it's simply good. Their defense has also regressed. They've gotten worse on that end. I think they've. They're suffering from some depth issues as well. And, Dan, if you listen to. I know you like rumors and murmurs and whispers, but it feels like Kenny Atkinson might be wearing a little thin on some of the guys. He is a very demanding coach, and the rumblings are like, yeah, the guys are kind of reaching their limit to how much, like, they'll take from him.

[Mike Ryan]

So it's been two years. It hasn't even been. And he reinvented them, and he got Mobley's usage rate and a place that made them good offensively.

[Amin Elhassan]

Well, Dan, as we saw with Chris Paul, sometimes you can be right and still a jackass that nobody wants to be around. I'm not calling Kenny Atkinson a jackass, but I'm just saying, like, that that is a possibility. You can be someone who is an irritating person who is also right.

[Stugats]

I mean, Draymond Green got ejected again over the weekend. Why does Steve Kerr look surprised every time?

[Amin Elhassan]

I think this time they felt like it was a quick ejection. The thing was, he got teed up and then he kept complaining. And Kevin Cutler, he said something that made Kevin Cutler say, absolutely not. Second T, you're out of here. From the warriors perspective. You know, I've told the story before. Rasheed Wallace not getting teed up because, quote, that's just how he talks. The war's perspective. He felt like Baymon Green was just doing whatever, what he usually does, and that didn't rise to the level of a second technical. Having said that, Kevin Cutler is a really respected referee. He's not a guy who's emotional. He gives guys a bunch of leeway. And so for him to say absolutely Not. Get out of here. Draymond must have said something that crossed the line.

[Jeremy]

All right, kicking things off with smearing off the official vodka, sponsor of the NFL and the number one vodka in the world, Chris Cody. You're here.

[Chris Cody]

Smeared off.

[Amin Elhassan]

Wow.

[Jeremy]

You're on the money with smeared off.

[Chris Cody]

Chris.

[Jeremy]

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[Dan LeBatard]

Wow.

[Jeremy]

The merch will be dropped on select dates from December to January 21st. And it's all courtesy of what brand?

[Dan LeBatard]

Smirnoff.

[Jeremy]

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[Chris Cody]

Hey, Jeremy. Happy holidays.

[Dan LeBatard]

Happy Januka.

[Chris Cody]

I want to toast you. Actually, I don't. I will toast with you.

[Dan LeBatard]

Okay.

[Chris Cody]

We're co workers, friends.

[Jeremy]

You could say.

[Chris Cody]

No, we cannot say that. But we both enjoy an ice cold Miller Lite.

[Dan LeBatard]

That's true.

[Chris Cody]

Especially around the holidays. You know, it's a 50th anniversary of Miller Lite.

[Dan LeBatard]

It's really amazing every time we say that. I can't believe it.

[Chris Cody]

Well, it's crazy because, like, they've basically been partners with the Dan Lebatard show for half of their existence. Wow. When I put it to you that way. We got an old ass show. Yeah, we do. That's crazy. Hey, let's look around at our friends, not each other. And our family, even though they're not here. I do miss your brother, though. Yeah, I know. I'll bring him back and take that first sip, look around and know that we made the right decision. When it comes to a domestic light lager, Miller Lite is the best. And it's the holiday season, as we mentioned. Why don't you enjoy that holiday season by drinking a beer that won't weigh you down? The original light beer since 1975, still hidden different 50 years later. Brewed for flavor with simple ingredients like malted barley, rich balanced toffee notes, and that iconic golden color that you can see from across the room. The best holiday beers, the ones you don't expect. Miller Lite great taste. 96 calories. Go to millerlight.com dan to find delivery options near you. Or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. Tis Miller time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Co. Milwaukee, Wisconsin 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.

[Stugats]

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[Chris Cody]

R-I K.com rubric.com Don LeBatard Chris Cody does an impression. Just be careful.

[Dan LeBatard]

Dangerous game here. This is a dangerous game.

[Mike Ryan]

I don't want to play this game.

[Chris Cody]

No. He was saying, man, I could do.

[Mike Ryan]

Such a great no, I don't want to play this game.

[Chris Cody]

He's like, man, I like him.

[Mike Ryan]

This is who we're going to trust. I mean, you do it.

[Dan LeBatard]

Let's let a mean do it.

[Mike Ryan]

I think st.

[Amin Elhassan]

I think you could do it, Chris, because you did a great Charles Barkley. You're one for one there.

[Mike Ryan]

Did no. No one just hear the segment we just did with Amin? We cannot be taking judgment. Is not the council from the local drunk on whether or not you should do the impersonation of a black man stumbling over his words like you don't see the bad.

[Chris Cody]

There was Mose and Moody.

[Dan LeBatard]

Moody Moses.

[Mike Ryan]

That.

[Chris Cody]

It sounds worse. Be careful, man.

[Mike Ryan]

We gotta like. We cannot do this. It's too close to the line. This is where the line is. Something legitimately funny can't be funny because we're scared our ginger's gonna do something racist by accident.

[Dan LeBatard]

Carry the hell on.

[Stugats]

Dan.

[Chris Cody]

Rachel.

[Amin Elhassan]

Dan. The line is where we feel alive, though.

[Mike Ryan]

This is the Dan Levatar show with the Stucats.

[Stugats]

It is time for.

[Chris Cody]

I mean.

[Mike Ryan]

To share his game notes.

[Chris Cody]

No one in the media will tell.

[Mike Ryan]

You what happened better than my boy.

[Chris Cody]

I mean.

[Amin Elhassan]

Weekend Observations is brought to you by Miller Light Legendary moments. Start with the light. Dan. Holy Mike was right. Holy Mike was right. The Canes Aggied the Aggies. They bucked up the Buckeyes. And now all that stands between them and the national title game is a school that thinks being proud of being on the wrong end of the war about slavery is somehow a cool thing. The Rebels. It kind of makes those 40 minute segments where Mike droves on and on about teenagers I've never heard of worth it.

[Chris Cody]

Almost.

[Amin Elhassan]

The Nuggets might be cooked. They lost to the Nets last night. Who started? Some dude named Igor. Google told me it's pronounced Jaegor and not Igor, even though it's spelled E Gore. Google also told me that he was a lottery pick last June. Google further informed me that he started 23 games this season. Google is passively, aggressively telling me I haven't watched a lot of Nets games this season.

[Chris Cody]

Amin Jokic should get another mvp. And this one's the clearest one of them all specifically for this.

[Mike Ryan]

Amin. Amin. The day that the week we were off the idea that he had 18, fourth or 18 overtime points and went for like 56, 16 and 15 the other day. Like there's never been a player like this.

[Amin Elhassan]

They scored like 30 points in five minutes of basketball. It was unbelievable. Incredible. The Finns almost made good on Greg Cody's preseason prediction. I won't lie. That first drive when Quinn yours was money on every throw had me hyped. I was like, holy Mike Wright was right about Mike. Ryan was right about the Canes. Then I said, Holy Mike McDaniel is the quarterback whisperer. Then they turned it over on downs in the red zone and they lost by like a million points. And I thought, nevermind. But Mike Ryan was right. The Giants, you had one job over the last two weeks of the season and that was to be as bad as you've been for the first 16 weeks of the season. And somehow they blew it. All of a sudden now they know how to play football. Unbelievable. To the elderly gentleman sitting across the aisle from me on my red eye flight, I promise you, you don't need the brightness all the way up to max on your 65 inch screen iPad. Especially if you're using it to listen to music. Christ almighty. I felt like I was escaping Alcatraz and they had the floodlights on me. The Thunder lost their mojo.

[Mike Ryan]

What happened? They're six and five in their last 11. And we were talking. Zaslo was saying they were going to win 80.

[Stugats]

They're not even going to win 70.

[Amin Elhassan]

Remember that movie, Dan? Austin Powers, the spy who shagged me lost his mojo. That movie turns 27 this year.

[Mike Ryan]

Put it on the poll at Lebatard show. Are you surprised that Austin Powers turns 27 this year?

[Stugats]

What happened to Mike Myers?

[Mike Ryan]

But did happen?

[Amin Elhassan]

Great question.

[Mike Ryan]

What did happen to Mike Myers?

[Amin Elhassan]

I think he's just rich and chilling. It's okay to be rich and chilling. You know, you don't have to be doing stuff all the time. Put it on the poll.

[Mike Ryan]

Put it on the poll, please. At Lebiton show. Is it okay to be rich and chilling and not aspiring to do anything any of the time?

[Amin Elhassan]

Shout out to Eddie the mailman. Saw you at the Steve Nash charity soccer attorney in Phoenix. Promise you I'd shout you out.

[Mike Ryan]

Why do you keep doing this?

[Amin Elhassan]

Promptly forgotten but in El Hassan always pays his debts. The Bills loving out of the jets in their last game at Ralph. Afterward their fans celebrated by shoveling snow or taking out the trash or some. I don't know.

[Mike Ryan]

Why do you say Ralph that way?

[Amin Elhassan]

Because it makes me want to. Ralph. Missed connection. You were the waitress with the pretty eyes and the locked in gaze who's served our table. I was the guy who was slurring the drink orders. Don't look now but here come the Celtics. I'm telling you not to look now, but it's not because they've won seven of the last 10.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah, they look good.

[Amin Elhassan]

Not because they destroyed the Clippers the other night behind Jalen Brown's 50 burger. Not because they're three and a half games back of the Pistons for the one seed in the East. I'm telling you not to look now because you don't have to look at all. Just close your eyes and listen to the wine coming from Boston. Holy Mike Ryan was right. I mean, but whole. Also holy the persecution complex from these guys.

[Mike Ryan]

Tatum's coming back. Tatum's gonna be back soon.

[Amin Elhassan]

Ah, he's not gonna be back soon. That's just. It's just. No, he's not coming back. But the other day Jaylen Brown took to social media and his stream. He's a streamer now, Dan. To complain about not winning player of the Month.

[Stugats]

Ah, please.

[Amin Elhassan]

Player of the month. He said, quote, no disrespect, no distiche or Brunson, but neither one of them had a better month than I had. First of all, I wonder how good of a month Jalen Brown would have to have to be SGA for Western Conference player of the Month. In the words of Victor Maitland, that'd be a neat trick. Remember that, Dan?

[Mike Ryan]

Victor Maitland, that's a Beverly Hills Cop.

[Amin Elhassan]

Yeah, there you go. He was a bad guy.

[Mike Ryan]

That movie's 40 years old.

[Amin Elhassan]

Movie turns 42 this year. Second thing I thought of. We're whining about player of the Month now. I work for front offices for almost a decade. I worked in media covering the NBA for almost a decade and a half. I've been an NBA fan for about four decades. I promise you, I could not name a single player of the month recipient a day after they announced it. Other than the one that Hakeem won in 95 because he won player of the Month while fasting the entire month for Ramadan. It's a crazy story. Feels like someone will make a sick documentary about that. Dan Loud. Wrong on the Panthers. Now I'm rooting for the only way you can be even louder. Wrong. If they somehow beat the Rams in the playoffs.

[Mike Ryan]

What a team. That is a team.

[Amin Elhassan]

This week on C, watching you lose.

[Mike Ryan]

16 to 14 in the rain to Baker Mayfield up my Saturday afternoon because I got to pay attention to you. Then you lose the game, but your season's not done because I got to watch Saints Falcons bleep you. Panthers.

[Amin Elhassan]

This week on c, we did 200 cigarettes, a period piece vignette movie about New Year's Eve with a star studded cast featuring Ben Affleck, Casey Affleck, Kate Hudson, Martha Plimpton and Dave Chappelle. Fun fact, they shot it on location in the Lower east side of Manhattan and the lady who lived in one of the buildings where the location was protested the moving being made because she didn't like cigarettes. Cinephobe. Wherever you get podcasts while you're at it, please check out. Here's the Science of Bar Rescue podcast. I saw Sing Song Blue over the weekend. You seen that movie, Dan?

[Mike Ryan]

No, No, I have not seen that.

[Amin Elhassan]

Holy shit. Mike Ryan was right about the canes. But also, holy. I did not know what that movie was actually about. Has anyone in there seen it?

[Stugats]

I know what it is, okay.

[Dan LeBatard]

I know what it's about, but yeah, crazy.

[Amin Elhassan]

I don't think you know what it's about.

[Dan LeBatard]

No, I do.

[Amin Elhassan]

Incredible.

[Chris Cody]

I know what the.

[Amin Elhassan]

The little twist. Okay. All right. Incredible movie. Yes. Great performances by Kate Hudson and Hugh Jackman. But I thought I was watching Saving Silverman and ended up watching Saving Private Ryan. Totally mismatched energy.

[Chris Cody]

Wow.

[Amin Elhassan]

Holy shit. Mike Ryan was right also. Holy shit. War is hell. Speaking of hell, Art Briles. And those are the weekend observations.

[Mike Ryan]

Amain. Thank you. Stick around here. We're going to keep going. I wanted to talk to you guys. We had not yet talked about it. The Panthers did beat Colorado yesterday. We have not covered the Panthers very much this season, but the Winter Classic was a bit of a disaster at Lone Depot Park.

[Stugats]

Thank God I didn't go to that.

[Chris Cody]

The.

[Mike Ryan]

The ballpark that David Sampson built that is now home to some major events and usually doesn't rise up to the moment with what those events are, whether it's concessions lines, whether it's fan experience for some. How is it that that ballpark has already gotten outdated for major events?

[Stugats]

Well, I don't know that it was based on all the stories from, like opening day back in 2012. It would never have been dated. Right? Like, this is always all these issues that I'm sure you'll explain here, Mike. I didn't go. I'm glad I didn't go. This has always been the case.

[Mike Ryan]

By the way, I should. I should mention the Rangers beat the Panthers 5 to 1. It's an outdoor game. The Rangers are dominant outside. The Panthers champions cannot win outside.

[Chris Cody]

So I went to the. I went to win the Winter Classic. I was stunned at how expensive this.

[Stugats]

Ticket never dropped below 500 day.

[Chris Cody]

It was crazy. Shout out to game time. Though I did find a good deal, like one sub $400 a seat ticket price. And I pounced all over it. Promo code, Dan. But I've been to Marlins park. Mostly not for Marlins ball games. I've been in like Three Marlins ball games. I usually go there either for monster trucks or a concert. The occasional World Baseball Classic. The worst day of my life, which was fiu. Miami and I went to this. And outside of the World Baseball Classic, there hasn't been one time where I come away with the feeling like, wow, this stadium operations gang has it together. Everything is a huge pain in the ass. The lines to get to the building, amateur. No order, no communication. People piled in like sardines. Them directing themselves where to go.

[Mike Ryan]

Why.

[Chris Cody]

Then for the Winter Classic, you're excited about all these novelty snacks that they advertise. Hard to find signage next to nowhere. And then when you get to the lines, it takes you 40 minutes. I walked around the entirety of that lower level concourse looking for food. Everybody ran out. There was just hot dogs.

[Mike Ryan]

Hold on.

[Stugats]

It's actually. They've actually run out of some food.

[Chris Cody]

They ran out of food. They ran out of a bunch of food. And not just the novelty items. I went to get a cheese pizza. You think that that would be readily available?

[Stugats]

That's a popular item.

[Mike Ryan]

Not.

[Chris Cody]

Not available. Midway through the second period, I tried.

[Stugats]

To rationalize my boys because I told them we were gonna go, but, like, tickets never went below $500. So I'm like, listen, it's a good thing we're not going. It's gonna be a disaster. They never have enough concessions. And, like, they're like, what do you mean they don't have enough food? I go, I'm just telling you, they never have enough food.

[Chris Cody]

No, I actually got an Uber pretty quick, which I was, like, pumped about that. And then I sat in that car for a good 40 minutes, having not moved because the stadium is located where it is there. Infrastructure wise, like, it's tough in the middle of Little Havana, but in terms of game ops, you control that. And I don't have a good reason as to why this place is always a disaster.

[Dan LeBatard]

But outside of all of that, I thought there was a good buzz in the air.

[Mike Ryan]

I'm not kidding.

[Dan LeBatard]

Actually, like, outside of. I agree with everything. Like, line stink, don't get food.

[Mike Ryan]

You had the best weather. The best weather in the United States was happening.

[Dan LeBatard]

Everyone seemed happy.

[Chris Cody]

At the beginning, it did feel like a celebration festival. A festival of hockey. Well, keep in mind, the cops had to block off the street because the player entrances into the ballpark. Especially for the Panthers, who all came in in a fleet of Ferraris. Yeah. Blacked off the road for that. Yeah. Panthers look stylish.

[Dan LeBatard]

Marsh hand looks so good.

[Chris Cody]

Seemed like we were More into that. The pop and the circumstance in the actual game.

[Mike Ryan]

I enjoyed watching on how it looked in Miami. You're kidding. Yeah, just how everything looks.

[Chris Cody]

It was all.

[Dan LeBatard]

I saw Barkov carrying that cup out for the Sally song with Role Model and I'm like, okay, he's ready to go.

[Chris Cody]

Chuck is.

[Dan LeBatard]

You think Kachuk could have carried it a little more? He's closer to being ready than Barco.

[Chris Cody]

You mentioned saw them because you couldn't.

[Dan LeBatard]

Hear anything from the location. Mike and I were. I saw Role Model performing.

[Stugats]

Who's Role Model?

[Jeremy]

They're.

[Dan LeBatard]

They play the Sally song.

[Stugats]

I don't know that fool.

[Dan LeBatard]

Yeah. I mean, they're like a movie with.

[Amin Elhassan]

Paul Rudd as he's had a big.

[Dan LeBatard]

Role Models had a big year. They were a big group. I was excited to hear the song that I knew and I could not, I'm not going to lie, could not hear it. I saw a TV broadcast of it. You could hear it on TV from where we were standing. Not that far from that performance. I didn't even hear music.

[Amin Elhassan]

You know what I used to have for breakfast? Cocaine. You know what I used to have for lunch? Cocaine.

[Jeremy]

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[Stugats]

Code Dan Don Lebatard.

[Chris Cody]

You're getting started on the breakfast flan.

[Amin Elhassan]

Oh, man. I've been singing a song to myself all morning long. Breakfast flan. Have you never heard the breakfast?

[Mike Ryan]

No.

[Chris Cody]

Hit me with it.

[Amin Elhassan]

Okay. I wish I had some breakfast flan. Breakfast flan. Where can I find a breakfast like that?

[Chris Cody]

This is the Dan Levatar show with the stugats.

[Mike Ryan]

The reason that I want to put a microscope on this particular event is because a South Florida champion was protecting and presenting a hockey heirloom in a really unusual part of South Florida for that to exist outdoors. It's winter. It's our coldest day of winter, but it was like 50 degrees. And it's absurd for us to have any of this in South Florida. Made more absurd by the fact that the Panthers are two time champions and they're rolling into the place with Ferraris, but they lost five to one. And when Mike's talking about a otherworldly international stadium experience, he gives all this credit to Stephen Ross for doing that correctly every time at the stadium where F1 and the Dolphin disaster is. But this place was built by David Sampson and it was never meant to have this many people in it because they'd only get this many people one time a year for opening day, and they'd run out of food then as well. This kind of event, our city and this particular haunted burial ground of a stadium where the Marlins failed to do things well until recently, or not even. Not even.

[Chris Cody]

It felt like Copa America. That's the only worst experience I've had trying to get into a game and get anything at a game. And it was like the worst experience maybe in modern times, because Com Nabal was in charge of that.

[Mike Ryan]

For it to be on Calle Ocho, though, I mean, for it to be in a Hispanic neighborhood. Miami and South Florida were trying to show out that Dade county could represent well. And my guess is it looked great on television, just wasn't great in person. It did look great on television.

[Amin Elhassan]

I do have a question, because in a situation like that, the Panthers are technically the home team. They control the gate, they get the concessions and all that, but they obviously, because it's not their building, they had to do a deal with the. Whoever the loan depot, you know, leaseholder is, whether it's the Marlins.

[Chris Cody]

There's a funny story about that too, because the NHL is really the home team here. The NHL handles. And so they deserve some of this blame too, because they should be more across the ops. It's not their First Winter Classic. But as part of the initial negotiation, remember, they were supposed to build a Miami Live, one of those live venues there. The pre construction's there. But the NHL and the Florida Panthers had no idea that the plans were going to be for that to be built during the Winter Classic. And I think it actually postponed the true construction of that project because everyone was like, what do you mean you're going to have an active construction site at the entrance of our Winter Classic. All in all, just a bad experience. One that I always have over there, which is I never have a good experience in that building. And I love going to ballparks because.

[Stugats]

You only go when it's a huge event.

[Amin Elhassan]

Correct.

[Chris Cody]

But I love going to ballparks. I can have a good time at a baseball game, sit down and just enjoy the ambiance. Everything from the seat color to the lights. It's just a garish looking place. I don't like it. The ops are terrible. I can't say a good thing about it. Bulldoze it. Well. Well, you can't have Winter Classic at Heart Rock Stadium because it's within the football window. They should have punted this to Freedom park. Was open because that place sucks. Stadium series, however, is the beginning of February. So you could probably have it there whenever the next time they have it.

[Mike Ryan]

No, they'll never be allowed to have it again. What?

[Chris Cody]

Why? Come on, man.

[Mike Ryan]

You can't have it. Be a horseshit experience. The one time it comes down here.

[Stugats]

They have one coming to Tampa.

[Dan LeBatard]

But remember the vibes.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah, you keep saying that you just wanted to celebrate your champion. You just wanted a reason to be the center of the sport again. Because your dad's t shirts of McDavid being overrated are already selling in thrift stores.

[Dan LeBatard]

I wasn't eating, though. Daddy was drinking.

[Chris Cody]

But that's not the Panthers fault though. No. No one's putting this really on the Panthers. I'm putting this on the NHL and that that ballpark. Here's the Panthers. I've been to plenty of Panther games. I don't have bad times in Panther games. I can get food at Panther games. I'm putting this at the one place that I always have a bad time at, and that's Lone Depot Park. Just because it's new doesn't mean it's good. It is bad. Start over.

[Mike Ryan]

You just said bulldoze. Start over.

[Chris Cody]

Yeah.

[Dan LeBatard]

Would be just start over.

[Chris Cody]

Got it.

[Stugats]

Has it happened that a stadium is bulldozed? They just built a new one.

[Chris Cody]

It's ugly. Tear it Apart from the insides. Build new stuff. It's just blue. No, it's awful. Like, my eyes hurt in that place. I hate it.

[Mike Ryan]

Take it up with David Sampson.

[Chris Cody]

I have built the whole place. He knows how I feel about that.

[Dan LeBatard]

I just say, start over.

[Mike Ryan]

He said, start overing. And he said, bulldoze it. And there's no one reasonable around here. That stadium is just built. And it's in such a ridiculous place.

[Dan LeBatard]

Fifteen years ago now.

[Amin Elhassan]

It's. It's the only building I can think of where the surrounding, like, immediate surrounding environment has. Zero restaurants, zero bars.

[Stugats]

Wendy's.

[Dan LeBatard]

Thank you.

[Amin Elhassan]

My apologies to Wendy, but it's. That's the first thing I thought about the first time I went.

[Dan LeBatard]

Roy says there's a brewery somewhere in there.

[Chris Cody]

Yeah, somewhere in the parking garage. They started putting people in there now.

[Amin Elhassan]

But you see what I'm saying? It's like you got it hidden. Every other arena stadium in the. In the nation, you walk up and there's like a bustling commercial district.

[Dan LeBatard]

Wait, I'm being told now they close that brewery.

[Chris Cody]

Oh, God damn it, man.

[Mike Ryan]

You guys not realize what happened here. They promised Samson, promised us an economy would build around that stadium in Little Havana. And there's a Wendy's.

[Chris Cody]

He lied.

[Mike Ryan]

There's a Wendy's.

[Stugats]

Is Bull Bar still open?

[Chris Cody]

No, but his bones are still there. What's crazy is the Orange bowl gets a lot of this nostalgia because it was just the first thing where people would congregate and watch sports and had good memories, but it was a dump. But even then, you know what it was like getting in and out of the Orange Bowl, Even the in game experience, concessions and all that, and getting in and out and logistics and no blocky, all that was a lot better run than this is.

[Mike Ryan]

Jeremy, can you look up for me, please, real quick? Bold Bar. The original critique on Bull Bar, that on the Internet there was a great establishment. There's a famous review of Bull Bar, which used to be on the corner of what used to be the Orange Bowl. It's a place of great criminal activity. I would say it is the heartbeat, the beating heartbeat of all of South Florida that this place.

[Dan LeBatard]

Criminal activity.

[Mike Ryan]

Oh, yeah.

[Chris Cody]

Come on.

[Jeremy]

Criminal activity. People trying to get over Dan.

[Mike Ryan]

I had to go through, like, airport security in order to get in there. The one time that I was there, the drinks were cheap. And the one review is famous on Bull Bar that.

[Chris Cody]

That Adam Smoot wrote it.

[Mike Ryan]

I just want people to know what Bull Bar was because right next to the Orange Bowl.

[Chris Cody]

Give us time. You're asking for a Yelp review of a place that's been closed for 15 years. We're working.

[Jeremy]

Has been that long.

[Chris Cody]

15 years. And for me to know what he's talking about, like, we're working on it.

[Jeremy]

To be honest, though, where the bones stand, there's a massive, huge mural that says. And there's, like, a Cuban flag and there's, like, a whole bunch of stuff. So that's the place if you're driving on 17th and Flagler. It's right there in the corner.

[Mike Ryan]

Welcome back from my brother's mural. I wanted to ask you a couple of different questions because we have not talked about the Jake Paul thing that happened a while ago. Wildly unsatisfying. I thought if I was going to watch him get his jaw broken, I would enjoy it. I did not. It just. It was terrible. And I had fun. He was crawling around on the floor, and then his jaw.

[Jeremy]

That part was tough.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah. And. Well, the whole. The whole thing was tough. He didn't belong. It's a dangerous human being to fight with. And if he cocks back his right arm and hits you in the jaw, and you're not a professional fighter, so your mouth is wide open because you're like, holy, here comes that punch.

[Dan LeBatard]

You're gasping for air.

[Mike Ryan]

You're then on the floor.

[Dan LeBatard]

At least we can stop with the conspiracy theory stuff, though, now, right?

[Mike Ryan]

Okay.

[Dan LeBatard]

Can we at least put that stuff.

[Jeremy]

Yeah, the cinder block that hit Jake Paul and broke his jaw in two places. We'll put that.

[Mike Ryan]

But unsatisfying, though, right? Because you need him knocked out if that's how he's going to be hit. If it's.

[Dan LeBatard]

Want him sobbing afterwards instead of, like.

[Chris Cody]

Taking out cold is what he wanted.

[Mike Ryan]

But if you're watching to see him, if you ask me before the fight, hey, will it all be worth it if he gets his jaw broken? Yeah, I'd say yes. And then I watched, and I was like, not worth it, Dan.

[Stugats]

Want him snoring in the middle.

[Dan LeBatard]

More pain?

[Mike Ryan]

No, just. Just unconscious brain. Look, I wanted the brain injury. I wanted the brain to move through the liquid protective buffer that keeps it from the skull and hit the skull in a way that left Jake Paul not with his faculty, 20 seconds of.

[Dan LeBatard]

Fear where we're like, is he gonna be okay?

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah. Yeah. Yes.

[Jeremy]

That's what he did to Francis Ngannou.

[Dan LeBatard]

Then he comes to and, like, we're like, okay, he's fine.

[Mike Ryan]

Longer than 20 seconds.

[Jeremy]

To be honest, though, the shot that he took, that did eventually knock him down and knock him out for the fight was a vicious shot.

[Mike Ryan]

Well, not what. Not only was it vicious, he went down to a knee. And I've never seen this before from somebody who just lost a fight with their jaw broken. He just said, wow, yeah. What did you think? That was good. Yeah, that's what that's going to feel like. If you take that, it's going to break your jaw. That's the way that's going to work. But the other thing I wanted to ask you about, Tony, is Aspinall, is his career over? Like when, when you're just going straight to multiple eye surgeries and your dad's talking about the details of, you know, we don't know if he's ever going to be able to see right again. You can't fight, you can't be. That guy's a legitimate champion and he just. I think he just had his career ended by eye gouging.

[Jeremy]

And that's the scary part, right? Like, he came back from a massive knee injury a couple of years ago where he tore his ACL on a. On a return kick that knocked him out. He ends up getting back, storms through the heavyweight division, one of the best knockout artists we've seen in the division. And then fighting a guy in Cyril Gone, who had his opportunity to be heavyweight champion, kind of faulted a couple times. And then in that fight where you think Tom is going to piece him up and knock him out and under, you know, under the round, he's kind of getting pieced up by Cyril Gone. And then Cyril Gone goes in with the ibook. Now we're talking about a guy who's 6, 5, 265 pounds in Cyril gone, and his fingers are massive. So that went. That finger went knuckle deep. And when it happened, a lot of MMA universe was saying, you gotta tough that one out. All the former champions that have gotten poked in the eye, that have fought through poked eyes, have gone said, hey. Or Chael Sonnen said, hey, you got to finish that fight. Doesn't matter what's on the line. Doesn't matter if you can't see. You got to finish that fight. And now we're looking at two, three surgeries down the line of an eye thing like that is a massive, massive.

[Mike Ryan]

You've got to take that back, right? I understand the fighting culture, I understand that they're all much more insane than I am. And then we are like, you have to be crazy to do that for a living. But you have to take that back. Once the guy Needs multiple eye surgeries because it's not just an eye gouge. The man has been digitally orbitally altered in a way that has affects his vision for the rest of his life.

[Jeremy]

That's a great way to put it.

[Chris Cody]

Orbitally altered. Digitally and orbitally.

[Mike Ryan]

Listen to what you're saying. Go ahead and imagine. I understand that some of these things.

[Chris Cody]

Feel like alteration of the orbital.

[Mike Ryan]

Go ahead. Or knuckle, knuckle deep and imagine someone else's hand going knuckle deep into your eye.

[Jeremy]

A very strong hand at that.

[Mike Ryan]

I mean, what was the fight? Did you enjoy yourself at the fight?

[Amin Elhassan]

I had a good time. Me, Juju, Trista, Danny Benitez, AKA Fake Dan. We had a nice time.

[Dan LeBatard]

He ate spaghetti, right? I believe we have a photo of it. Yeah, there he is.

[Amin Elhassan]

He ate the spaghetti.

[Dan LeBatard]

Wait, is that Dan or Danny?

[Amin Elhassan]

Unfortunately, as I foretold, Netflix wasn't as gung ho to put us on their broadcast once they figured out Dan Levitard wasn't there. It's kind of like the whole crux of it was that Dan would be there. And like that's a funny joke. Hey, we sent Fake Dan. Unfortunately, Netflix didn't fall for it.

[Mike Ryan]

Well, that sort of makes everything worse.

[Chris Cody]

What gave it away?

[Mike Ryan]

I mean, thank you. I wanted, I wanted to bring up something regarding Netflix because obviously they're crushing it in sports. Whatever that Jake Paul thing was, I'm sure it was a monster success. Whether you liked it or not doesn't matter. Netflix is now in the live sports business. And on Christmas Day they took football, football, took basketball, took Christmas day from basketball, even with crud games, like just terrible games. But football is Kingsport and it doesn't matter. And the thing that I wanted to ask you guys is they brought in during the Cowboys Commanders game, they brought in Emmett Smith to talk to him during the broadcast for Dallas. And this is how bad Washington's been. Clinton Portis is who they had to go get to get the most legendary of Washington figures that can be had to talk about greatness in Washington football. Because Washington football hasn't been great for so long. Your thoughts were what on how Netflix's broadcast did on Christmas day as a first time undertaking?

[Stugats]

Yeah, thought it was good. I mean it really seems that Netflix in the live sports game, the only problem they've ever had was the very first time they tried something and that was with the Jake Paul Mike Tyson fight. Ever since then, whatever, I guess kinks there were. I think Netflix has done a terrific job with this is the second this.

[Mike Ryan]

Is the second Christmas Day for Netflix, right?

[Chris Cody]

Yes.

[Mike Ryan]

I mean, what, What? All of these streaming services are doing a great job making everyone else be better at the production of television events.

[Amin Elhassan]

Yeah. I mean, it helps to have a bunch of money and the tech on your side, but you've really fallen apart here.

[Mike Ryan]

We're going to let you go. Thank you. Wait.

[Chris Cody]

Can you remind the people that I was right about the Miami Appreciate.

[Amin Elhassan]

Was right.

[Mike Ryan]

Petering out that way. Yes.

[Chris Cody]

Before you go, just so you know.

[Dan LeBatard]

Mike Myers working on Shrek5. That's what he's been doing.

[Amin Elhassan]

Of course, he is counting money in production. Money.

[Mike Ryan]

Excellent. Dismount. I mean, appreciate the way that you ended that segment. Just sort of lingering coughing. Coughing. Sounding sick and generally uninterested. Malaise.

[Amin Elhassan]

It's very cold where I am.