Hour 2: I Don't Have Time (feat. Jessica Smetana)

Summary

Episode Overview

Podcast: The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Episode: Hour 2: I Don't Have Time (feat. Jessica Smetana)
Date: February 25, 2026
Theme:
Broadcasting from the Elser Hotel in Miami, the crew delivers their unique, humor-driven perspectives on sports, pop culture, and internet culture. This hour features Jessica Smetana discussing Notre Dame basketball misery, Olympic withdrawal, sports media overreactions, viral internet phenomena, and heated debates about athletic prowess and generational change in sports.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Notre Dame Basketball Woes & Jessica's Perspective

• ND Men’s Basketball Struggles
  • Jessica Smetana is resigned to Notre Dame's poor basketball season, citing injuries to star players and a general lack of depth.
  • "It's been a really disappointing season and it's a, it's a huge BU for, for those few Notre Dame men's basketball fans out there that are still watching." – Jessica Smetana (01:15)
• Women's Basketball Silver Lining
  • She highlights the women's team, noting they're having a good year despite not the most stacked roster.
  • "This is primarily a women's basketball...not really the most talented roster they've had, but they're having a pretty good year." – Smetana (02:15)
• The show's general tone is gleefully mocking, with jokes about ND's record setting loss going back to the 19th century.

---

Olympic Withdrawal, Curling, and Sports Obsessions

• Post-Olympic Blues
  • Jessica laments the end of the Olympics:
    "I'm, like, going through withdrawal. Like, I have to wait till like, 7:00 o'clock to watch sports. It's bullshit as I hate it." – Smetana (02:45)
• Canadian Curling Team Drama
  • She shares the surprisingly intense trash talk from the Canadian men's curling team after their gold medal: "For anyone who said negative things about Mark Kennedy...I hope the image of us standing on top of the podium...is burned into your brain forever." – Smetana (03:24)
• Comparing Curling to Shuffleboard and Bocce
  • Banter about the similarities between curling, shuffleboard, and bar games evolves, with jokes about naming conventions and old school games.
  • Stugotz: "I'm a G at that [bar shuffleboard]...just go out there and play. Flick that wrist." (04:40)
• Sporting Bragging Rights and Olympic "Accessibility"
  • Later in the show, a running joke emerges about which sports on the Olympic program the hosts think they could "just pick up," like curling or bobsledding.

---

Odd NFL Decisions & Jessica’s Steelers Frustrations

• Steelers QB Strategy
  • Discussion of the Pittsburgh Steelers’ strange loyalty to an aging quarterback, with Jessica sarcastically skewering the idea: "Now we have to do it with a different coach because obviously it's going to go better the second time when he's even older." – Smetana (05:52)
• Sarcasm and Overload
  • Jessica pivots to general sports and news overload, introducing “the sad monkey in Japan” as evidence of too much to process: "There's too much going on. There's this sad frickin monkey in Japan." – Smetana (06:24)

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The Story of "Punch" the Monkey

• Viral animal story: a baby macaque named Punch, abandoned and intermittently shunned by his mother in a Japanese zoo.
• "I don't have the bandwidth for Punch right now. Like, I keep seeing the Punch videos. I'm like, I can't do this." – Smetana (07:37)
• Diverging attitudes: some find the Punch videos comforting; others (Jessica, Greg) are exhausted by the endlessly recycled content.
  • Greg Cody: "My wife, over the past week, has forced me to look at...15 or 20...videos of Punch the monkey. Exhausting." (09:12)
• "I don't have time for Punch or Aaron." – Smetana (09:30)

---

Olympic Figure Skating Comeback & Youth Sports Burnout

• Jessica praises the story of a women’s gold medalist who retired at 16 due to burnout, only to return and win by prioritizing enjoyment over pressure:
  • "She decided, you know what? I miss skating. A couple years later...she came back and it was like she never left…she was in it for her this time." – Smetana (09:57)

---

Notable Memorable Exchanges

What Song Would You Skate To?

• "I would definitely do something from Lord of the Rings. I would do something spooky. Isengard theme—that would be sick." – Smetana (11:18)

Michael Douglas "Basic Instinct" Fashion

• The group playfully critiques Jeremy Tache's v-neck sweater look:
  • "It's a little slutty, but I think it works." – Smetana (15:01)

Lindsay Vonn’s Brutal Injury (and Pet Loss)

• Jessica viscerally reviews the technical description of Vonn's injuries and the added grief of her dog’s death:
  • “She was going like 70 miles an hour...she also got compartment syndrome...that sounds horrible.” – Smetana (15:54)
  • "And her freaking dog died while she was in Italy. So, I mean, just the worst two weeks ever." – Smetana (16:38)

---

Sports One-upmanship & “I Could Do That!” Debates

• Heated arguments over which Olympic sports the hosts think they could realistically do with just a little prep—especially curling and bobsled.
• "If you put me on the field with the NFL's best offense...I could lead a point scoring drive." – Stugotz (19:47)
• Jessica on her own abilities: "The sport I would least die doing would be playing soccer, because I actually know how to do that." – Smetana (20:06)
• Greg Cody boasts, “I have [kicked a 50-yd field goal].” (21:26)
  Smetana: "I probably could kick a 50 yard field goal." (21:38)
• Chris Cote and Tony battle over pickleball prowess, recounting past humiliations.

---

Jessica’s “Internet Minute”: Looksmaxing/Clavicular Explainer

[25:23–28:31]

• Jessica dissects the viral phenomenon of "looksmaxing" via the case of streamer "Clavicular."
  • "His whole shtick is that he is a ‘looksmaxer,’ and he just does what he can to look super hot, I guess...including hitting himself in the jaw with a little hammer." – Smetana (25:46)
• The group attempts to explain terms like "mogged," "jester maxing," and "gooning," with varying degrees of discomfort and confusion.
  • "I've tried to explain this to people who aren't online...this is what’s happening on the Internet now." – Smetana (26:17)
• General consensus: it's alarming, yet morbidly fascinating.

---

NBA “Load Management” Controversy & League Overreaction

[32:56–43:05]

Indiana Pacers & League Overreach

• The Pacers were fined for not playing Aaron Nesmith, despite team doctors saying he was injured.
• Coach Rick Carlisle revealed the NBA suggested medicating the injured player and didn’t consult the actual team doctors.
  • "They asked if we'd considered medicating him to play...I was very surprised, obviously didn't agree." – Rick Carlisle soundbite (35:10)
• The crew discusses how NBA policy overreached in response to years of inactivity on load management, now erring to the other extreme.
• Amin explains increased injury rates: more youth mileage, specialization, modern style of play, and the "arms race" of player maintenance.
  • "Even before they step foot on an NBA court, they're already worn [down] at a level that has never been worn before." – Amin (41:48)

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Classic Show Bits, Closing Banter, & Greg Cody's Catchphrase Countdown

• The hour ends with jokes about Connect 4 mastery and exaggerated claims of greatness.
• Chris Cote calls out the crew’s tendency to overestimate their abilities:
  • "It's too many of you guys who are claiming you could do things that you definitely cannot. All right?" (23:59)
• Greg Cody's “catchphrase countdown” is teased, with the group lampooning just how unprepared he is to deliver it properly.

---

Notable Quotes & Moments with Timestamps

• Jessica on ND Basketball:
  "It hasn't been a good season...their best player gets hurt and now their best freshman...is hurt." – 01:15

• Post-Olympic Blues:
  "I have to wait till like, 7:00 o'clock to watch sports. It's bullshit as I hate it." – 02:45

• Canadian Curling Smack Talk:
  "I hope the image of us standing on top of the podium...is burned into your brain forever." – 03:24

• Jessica on the Steelers:
  "Now we have to do it with a different coach because obviously it's going to go better the second time when he's even older." – 05:52

• Punch the Monkey:
  "I don't have the bandwidth for Punch right now...I can't do this." – 07:37
  "This has been an emotional roller coaster...this poor monkey was rejected by his mother." – (07:56–08:34)

• Jessica on Figure Skating Comeback:
  "She was in it for her this time...having fun with it...I think it's a lovely story." – 09:57

• Lord of the Rings Figure Skating:
  "I would do the Isengard theme. That would be sick." – 11:24

• Jessica on Looksmaxing/Internet Minute:
  "This is what's happening on the Internet now...this is real life." – 26:17

• Pacers’ Rick Carlisle on League Fines:
  "They also asked if we'd considered medicating him to play...I was very surprised." – 35:10

• Amin on NBA's Load Management Crisis:
  "Once someone starts doing it, for you to not do it out of toughness is actually a detriment, not an additive." – 42:25

---

Recurring Themes & Tone

• Comic Exasperation: The crew regularly mocks both themselves and the absurdities of sports culture, from load management to viral moments.
• Generational Debate: Frequent ribbing about which games are "actually hard" and what constitutes real athleticism.
• Internet Zeitgeist: Jessica’s segments reliably bring up the most bizarre, current online trends, from TikTok slang to notorious viral personalities.
• Meta-Self-Awareness: The hosts habitually make fun of their own claims and the show's format—particularly overestimating their own abilities.

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Episode Guide: Important Segments (Timestamps)

• Notre Dame basketball/NCAA talk: 00:00–03:00
• Olympics withdrawal & curling: 02:35–04:55
• Steelers & NFL discussion: 05:11–06:24
• Punch the Monkey and viral animal stories: 06:24–09:36
• Olympic figure skating comeback: 09:57–11:25
• Debates: Who could make an Olympic team? "I could do that" segments: 17:01–21:54
• Jessica's "Internet Minute" on looksmaxing/streamers: 25:14–28:31
• NBA/Pacers load management controversy: 32:56–43:05

---

Summary

This hour of The Dan Le Batard Show is a rapid, irreverent ride through sports disappointment (especially for Notre Dame and Steelers fans), Olympic nostalgia, internet oddities, heated studio challenges over physical fitness, and substantial discussion about player health vs. league overreach in the NBA. Anchored by Jessica Smetana and her characteristic blend of sports knowledge and online-savvy, the episode captures the show’s signature blend of sharp comedy, absurdity, and genuine insight.

Transcript

[A]

This is the Dan Levator show with the Stugats podcast. Notre Dame down 44 at home. This is on track. Not that Michael Shrewsbury wants to see this to be Notre Dame's largest home loss since the fourth game in Notre Dame men's basketball history against the Chicago First Regiment.

[B]

64.

[C]

8 was the final score.

[D]

Why are you getting so excited?

[A]

29th, 1898. Why are you getting so excited?

[C]

Chicago First Regiment.

[D]

Apparently they had some Hoopers on that squad.

[C]

Now see, that's nice. All right. She's the host of the Notre Dame podcast, the Echoes out weekly with Mike Golick Jr. She is Jessica Smatana. Jessica, that. That was not nice.

[D]

Come on.

[C]

That's not the way we want to welcome you onto the show.

[E]

I apologize, guys. It's okay. I did not think the Notre Dame men's basketball team was going to beat Duke last night without Marcus Burton and Jalen Harrelson. Even with Marcus Burton and Jalen Harrelson, I didn't think this was going to be a close game.

[C]

Not a great couple weeks for Michael Shrewsbury either, though I would.

[E]

I've talked about this extensively in my podcast and I can probably guess there's not very many Notre Dame men's basketball fans that listen to this show, so I'll keep it brief, but it hasn't been a good season since Marcus Burton's injury, which is disappointing because they started out with a few like, pretty nice games, had a couple good wins against Missouri and tcu, and then their best player gets hurt and now their best freshman, who's the highest recruited player, Notre Dame history, is hurt with an ankle injury. And so I, I don't think Micah Shrewsbury is going to get fired because I don't really think anyone wants to pay a buyout on a seven year contract that he only signed three years ago. But it's been a really disappointing season and it's a, it's a huge BU for, for those few Notre Dame men's basketball fans out there that are still watching.

[B]

And besides, we're waiting for the main event to return. You root for the second best team in Indiana and football, so you got that to still to come.

[C]

This is not an open invitation to talk about Indiana football.

[A]

Hell no.

[E]

Also, Notre Dame women's basketball is having a pretty good year despite the fact that this is not really the most talented roster they've had anytime soon. So this is primarily a women's basketball. Oh, I guess we have to talk

[A]

about them too, or we'll get impeached.

[E]

Why does everything need to be so negative. Everyone's looking for something negative to say all the time.

[F]

Why?

[E]

Everyone just wants to be negative now?

[C]

Jessica, what are you doing now? Every morning you wake up and there's no more Olympics. You love the Olympics.

[E]

I'm, like, going through withdrawal. Like, I have to wait till like, 7:00 o' clock to watch sports. It's bullshit as I hate it.

[C]

It's bullshit. Which sport do you.

[E]

Curling. I mean, guys, the fact that this Canadian men's curling team won the gold medal. Have you seen what they said after they won the gold medal? And how just like, oh, my God. I had to look these quotes up and make sure they were real because they were so, like, sassy. But one of the Canadian guys, he. He was the one that told the Swedish guy to F off when he got caught touching the stone.

[C]

Yeah. He was accused of double touch.

[F]

Double touch.

[E]

Correct.

[G]

Cheat.

[E]

He said. He said. He said a weaker team would have fell flat on their face after the week they had. And then another guy on the team said, for anyone who called us cheaters, for anyone who said negative things about Mark Kennedy, who is the other guy? About us, about Canada, about our families, I hope the image of us standing on top of the podium, embracing one another, smiling ear to ear with our gold medals is burned into your brain forever.

[C]

Who knew there was so much talking with curling?

[F]

Seriously, Right?

[E]

It's intense and I. I really do miss it. I miss all of it. It's. It was a really fun two weeks. I wish you guys cared about it. You would have had fun, too.

[C]

Well, I haven't done it once.

[D]

You can.

[A]

You have it.

[C]

Well. Is anyone here? Here? Verse. Well, versed in. In shuffleboard. Because I played shuffleboard a lot as a kid.

[D]

Shuffleboard master, right?

[F]

Yeah, that's.

[C]

That's kind of. It's close to Kirby a lot as a kid.

[H]

You played it six times.

[C]

No, it's. No, it's every time. I went to visit my grandparents. They obviously had a clubhouse.

[F]

Yeah.

[C]

That had a shuffleboard.

[D]

I take it back in Delray. I don't know. Shuffleboard. What's the other one?

[C]

Where it's like the bar one?

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, I love that thing.

[D]

That one. I'm. I'm a G at that.

[C]

With all the sand.

[H]

You love it. We all love it, but we can't name it.

[D]

What's it called?

[C]

Shuffleboard.

[A]

It's not shuffleboard.

[F]

Something hockey. Something hockey.

[D]

I don't need to name it. What are you talking about? I just go up there and play like, oh, this is Called xyz. No, just go out there and play. Flick that wrist. Ain't that right, Jess?

[E]

He's not taking a quiz.

[D]

Exactly.

[E]

I'm a bocce guy personally. Bocce runs in my blood. I love bocce.

[B]

Smittonna the buzz of pro football right now, while the combine, which really should be pronounced the combined because a combine is farming equipment that separates the wheat from the chaff. And that's a double entendre.

[D]

That's what we're doing.

[B]

But I'm not. Yeah, I know, but I'm not giving the NFL people enough credit for coming up with that. What they're doing is a, is a combine, which is a group effort with a single purpose. That's really what they're doing. But the Steelers are apparently your favorite pro football team, are apparently not in the market for a quarterback because they have volunteered that they're going to wait out the 43 year old man who, in case anybody has amnesia, we already saw how far he can take that team and it is not to the Super Bowl. Ergo, why would they choose to say in springtime that's our plan again?

[E]

Because they're getting the band back together. I mean, we got Mike McCarthy. Now obviously you've got to see how he does with Mike McCarthy because he couldn't win a playoff game with Mike Tomlin and in fact had one of the worst quarterback performances of all time against the Texans when they were in the wild card round a mere what, six weeks ago. So now we have to do it with a different coach because obviously it's going to go better the second time when he's even older.

[B]

I detect some sarcasm in your voice.

[E]

Yeah, that was pretty. That was pretty sarcastic of me.

[C]

I don't know.

[B]

What would you do?

[E]

Because the deal with the Steelers right now, there's too much going on. There's this sad frickin monkey in Japan.

[G]

Oh my God.

[B]

Punch there's what?

[E]

I mean, there's all this shit with the hockey team. Like I can't even begin to fathom the Steelers quarterbacks.

[H]

I will hold on.

[C]

Jess, what happened with the monkey?

[D]

Can I ask a question about that punch monkey? Can I ask a question about the monkey? Is the monkey the monkey or is it the stuffed monkey? No, no one ever clarifies for me which one is. Which is. Oh, look at punch. And it's is a real monkey and a stub monkey.

[E]

Punch the real monkey. Do you know what kind of monkey punch is, by the way? I googled how to pronounce this this morning, please.

[H]

I know, but tell Tony he's a macaque.

[F]

I beg your pardon?

[C]

Everybody knows you don't ever call me a macaque.

[E]

Punch is the baby macaque whose mother abandoned him and the zookeepers gave him a stuffed monkey because he needed something to cuddle and to feel a connection with because he was lonely. And then at some point, I believe over the last week, the mother took him back and then rejected him again. It's a very sad situation. I believe that whichever CIA operative planted Punch to take all of our minds off of, you know, the impending war and all of the other things going on, it's not working right. I don't have the bandwidth for Punch right now. Like, I keep seeing the Punch videos. I'm like, I can't do this.

[G]

See, I totally disagree with you, Jess.

[C]

What's the problem here?

[G]

All I want are the videos of this adorable little monkey.

[B]

I would much rather.

[G]

I would much rather invest my time in this than any of the other stuff that we're talking about.

[H]

All.

[G]

All of the negative things that are going on. It has. This has been an emotional roller coaster because this. This poor monkey was rejected by his mother and then raised.

[D]

She went out for cigarettes and never came back. What does that mean?

[G]

No, this happens in the animal kingdom. Like, the mother did not want to raise the baby, and so happens in the human. And so the human beings at the raised this little monkey. And when. And when ingratiating him with the other monkeys in this exhibit, he was shunned and was just walking around sad with

[A]

the little plush toy.

[G]

And then eventually was embraced.

[B]

He was grim.

[G]

But then a couple days later, there was a monkey that just swung him

[B]

around like a crazy.

[E]

Like.

[G]

Like a rag doll.

[H]

Hold on a second.

[B]

It was a heartbreak.

[H]

We need to stop the train here. I think Greg Cody's pro, this monkey being rejected.

[F]

Well, I am. I'm looking at the monkey on the screen there. Ridiculous. Jumping around, pushing everybody, leaping over rocks. Who wouldn't.

[C]

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

[E]

He runs back to the little plush toy.

[C]

Look at him.

[D]

Look at him.

[A]

Look at him.

[D]

Look.

[H]

He's like, I feel safe with this safety.

[D]

Charles Darwin. Look it up.

[H]

You are the one person, Greg, with the Take 2 Pro, rejecting this little baby.

[D]

I'm with you, Greg. Don't.

[C]

Don't fall.

[D]

I mean.

[F]

I mean, part of it is that my wife, over the past week, has forced me to look at. Oh, that's why 15 or 20. What we're doing videos of Punch the monkey Exhausting. I don't have the bandwidth for Punch the monkey.

[H]

Jess doesn't have time for Aaron. My dad doesn't have time for this.

[E]

I don't have time for Punch or Aaron. And I feel like they're going to end up taking Ty Simpson way too early.

[D]

Aaron, the other monkey, I hope they

[B]

take Ty Simpson checked off a list of things that she doesn't have time for. She. She doesn't have time for the Steelers quarterb thing. She doesn't have time for this monkey. And we also know that she has a wealth of time now that the Olympics are over. What are you focusing on right now?

[E]

Matana, the gold medal winning women's figure skater with the performance of a lifetime. I love this woman. She retired from figure skating at the age of 16 because she was this youth figure skating prodigy. She was landing all these jumps that no one else her age could land. And then she said, this feels like a chore. This feels like a job. I'm not having fun anymore. I'm retiring. She was in the 2022 Olympics and finished sixth, I believe, and was like, that was fun. I'm good. And then she decided, you know what? I miss skating. A couple years later, and she came back and it was like she never left. And I wonder what the implications are on youth sports if. Because we, you know, we always talk about baseball players in particular, how they have so much wear and tear on their arms by the time they're like 20 years old and need to get Tommy John surgery and all this stuff. But, like, she took two years off, like, in her figure skating prime, like when she was 17 to 18 years old and came back and just won the Olymp. And she did it while not feeling as much of the pressure as a lot of the other skaters felt, because she knew, like, she was in it for her this time. She was like, having. This is in her words, like she was having fun with it and was able to really, like, show her artistic and creative chops that she never really felt like she got to exercise before when she was just trying to win, win, win all the time. So I. I think it's a lovely story and she seems like a wonderful person.

[B]

What song would you go with if you were a figure skater?

[E]

I would definitely do something from Lord of the Rings. I would do something spooky. I mean, let's.

[D]

Football.

[E]

Yes. That was exactly what I was gonna say. I would do the Isengard theme. That would be sick.

[H]

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[A]

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[B]

I don't think I ever got that many roses in my whole life.

[A]

Stugats.

[B]

Certainly not from your lovely grandfather, God,

[F]

may his soul rest in peace.

[A]

This is the Don Levatar show with the stugats.

[B]

Do you think in your professional opinion, Jessica Smetana, that Jeremy Tache is successfully pulling off the Michael Douglas from Basic Instinct?

[A]

Look, saw the plot of that, by the way, Dave.

[B]

The V neck sweater without anything underneath it.

[C]

You know about that interrogation.

[A]

What do you think?

[E]

It's a little slutty, but I think it works.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

That's exactly what I'm going for.

[D]

Slut.

[B]

Is that the first time you've been called slutty before?

[C]

So I saw Jess, that Lindsey Vaughn admitted, I mean, she's got extensive injuries to her leg, but that she admitted that there was a conversation about the possibility of her leg being amputated at one point. It's kind of nuts.

[E]

I read a full description of her injury from a doctor in the New York Times this morning, and it made me so nauseous. It was horrific. They said that this is like. And this is not a surprise to anyone that follows, you know, follows what was happening. But they said it's akin to the type of injuries you get in huge car accidents, basically. But she had this complex fracture so bad because she was going like 70 miles an hour.

[C]

Yeah, I guess.

[E]

And she also got compartment syndrome, which is when you have a lot of like, blood in one area and so it like chokes off the blood supply to the rest of your nerves. And it said that, you know, if you have it like really severe compartment syndrome, it doesn't respond to painkillers because it's like nerve pain, which, like, that sounds horrible. And that can lead to like, loss of a limb, I suppose, if it gets really severe and you have a lot of dead tissue. But obviously not what happened because they had, you know, she got airlifted immediately to a hospital and all her surgeons were there, but it sounds horrific. And at the same time, she still has to get her ACL and her other leg repaired. So I feel so bad for her. It just sounds. Was like a freaking nightmare. And her freaking dog died while she was in Italy. So, I mean, just the worst two weeks ever.

[D]

Wow.

[F]

How did her dog die?

[E]

I think he was really, really old, sick and. And died.

[H]

Murdered.

[F]

Yeah. I think Punch the monkey killed him.

[E]

Punch the monkey's innocent, Greg.

[F]

No, I don't think so.

[E]

That's why you made him out to be a villain.

[F]

He's a villain.

[E]

I just don't. I just don't have time to be distracted by punch right now.

[F]

Can I ask you a quick question, getting back to curling, which is the most. Once the most interesting and boring sport in the world, I feel like.

[E]

Correct.

[F]

What is the intrigue in curling for you? Because I feel like it's an Olympic sport where if I practice it for two or three days, I could curl as well as anyone there because it seems so simple.

[C]

You know, they're on ice.

[F]

Yeah, I know. And even the brushing thing is so ridiculous. I could be an Olympic.

[C]

Easy.

[F]

Yes.

[E]

I would love to see you even.

[H]

I would not love that.

[E]

Bend down.

[H]

He would break a hip six seconds.

[E]

I would love to see him just do the push. Like, just bend down on one knee and do the push. I would love to watch you just do that part.

[F]

It can be a boomer.

[D]

No, I'm with you, Greg. Like, there's, like. You don't have to be. Oh, I could play. I don't have to be the quarterback. I could be the kicker. I could be the punter. There's a lot of positions. You could be the broom guy.

[E]

Let me ask you a question.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

You see him running on the ice

[D]

with a broom, Working it.

[F]

Of course. I use a broom.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Frequently.

[E]

Okay, listen, I don't need to watch downhill skiing or, you know, slopestyle or all these other crazy things constantly. Sometimes it's nice to just see people do something that's very easy to understand and conceptualize and. Yeah. Do they have to be, you know, I mean, they are like, world class.

[D]

Dad.

[H]

That's not how they do it.

[E]

Yeah.

[H]

Can we show my dad right now,

[E]

like, what this is?

[H]

Well, now you're doing.

[E]

I don't know, what's his name? That's his method.

[A]

He's doing the great Cody method.

[D]

You know what, Chris? A lot of people looked at Reggie Miller and said, that's not how you do. And what did Reggie Miller do? He hit a ton of threes. Greg, I'm with you. Your style, your technique. The results are what matter.

[F]

Yes.

[E]

Well, I mean, it's the same reason people like watching darts or, you know, sports, like even golf sometimes. I. I mean, there's times that I'm like, yeah, I could make that putt. Well, one thing I can actually go out there and do it.

[B]

What is 100% true is that I could make the US bobsled team. And even easier than that, now that I've looked at it, I mean, you could say no, you can be wrong, you can be skeptical, but I would be on that team and I would be wearing a medal. If the pilot and the guy in the fourth seat were skilled at what they do. You're just along for the ride if you're in the two and three chair. But even easier is the two man lose, because you don't even have to be the run in that.

[H]

I could be the top.

[B]

If you're what for real, what is the second guy doing in the two person lose?

[H]

Bottoming?

[F]

You don't want to know.

[D]

I.

[B]

You can work blue or you can answer my question. What is that guy doing? I mean, really, he's the biggest fraud going in sports. What, Jess, could you do? People love to do the sports that I could do for three weeks and make the team kind of thing.

[G]

Yeah.

[B]

What is the highest end on a field of play that you could successfully complete? Because like I've said before, if you put me on the field with the, with the NFL's best offense, best offensive line, and otherwise, I could lead a point scoring drive.

[E]

No.

[B]

Yeah, Yeah, I could.

[F]

No.

[B]

Yeah. I like this guy.

[E]

I think the sport I would least die doing would be playing soccer, because I actually know how to do that. But in terms of just like picking something up for the first time, I mean, if we're doing like, I'm not. I wouldn't be good at any of it, but, like, I could do. I could do it. You know what I mean? Like, I could do track and field. I'm not going to finish in any sort of place.

[B]

Is there anybody here at this show who you would do better? You would have better numbers at the combine or the combine, then probably everyone.

[E]

I mean, be honest, one of us is in really good shape. When's the last time this room collectively ran three miles? I did it this morning.

[A]

The combine does not Run three miles. Nobody runs through talking.

[D]

But also I just got back from running three miles right now right before the show. Look how long.

[B]

Who would do the worst at the combine? Combine? I know I run a plus 6 second 40.

[E]

I mean, I don't want to say this while Greg sitting right there.

[A]

It's not.

[E]

That's why I didn't want to say.

[C]

It's not nice.

[A]

Greg Cody could have could run like the wind back in the day.

[F]

I could. He's like Terry Bradshaw. You can't compare eras.

[B]

Okay, maybe, maybe you show some grace and everybody in there prime. Everybody in their prime. Who would come up shortest?

[D]

Oh, my God.

[F]

Well, just let me ask you this. Have you ever kicked a 50 yard field goal?

[E]

No, I've never kicked a 50 yard field goal.

[B]

You can make a 50 yarder.

[F]

I have.

[E]

Is that a literally true.

[F]

Yeah.

[D]

And he wasn't a young man when he did it.

[B]

Well, I was.

[H]

Hell, there's only like one witness. Tal Habib.

[B]

Head on or soccer style?

[F]

Head on.

[E]

I pro. I probably could kick a 50 yard field goal.

[F]

You think?

[E]

Try it.

[F]

Well, give it a try.

[H]

Your next show, we're gonna have you do it.

[B]

Matan is a high end soccer player. That's plausible.

[F]

That's true. She has.

[H]

I did this on our. A few years ago, I tried to say I.

[F]

What was this?

[H]

The Chicago kicker missed a big playoff kick like five or six years ago. It was like a 40. It was a 43 yarder. So I said on the show I could make it.

[C]

You didn't even come close.

[H]

No, I hit the crossbar. I hit the cross.

[B]

I mean, you're looking hard. So you also.

[D]

I'm also too much grace.

[H]

One of our better athletes around, around here. But that's just. But it was hard. Like it was not easy.

[B]

I hate to be a cynic, but I do not know that I can completely accept that Greg Cody at any point in his Life made a 50

[H]

from straight on, head on field. I think barefoot straight on.

[B]

There's not very many, many human beings who could do that.

[F]

At any point, you're looking at one,

[H]

you're looking at a club, you're looking at a club soccer goalie.

[C]

And Greg Cody, I do remember one of my first days here last year. Tony total sucker. Real sucker, baby. Yep. You were out in the field and you went to kick a field goal and you pulled your hamstring.

[H]

It was not a kicker.

[A]

Even looking like a sucker almost tore my quad off the bone. Of course, I couldn't walk for like A month.

[C]

Still.

[G]

Here's the.

[A]

Here's the issue. Okay, here's the issue. You're not supposed to kick back to back to back to back.

[D]

Exactly.

[A]

You're supposed to kick once, Jack.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

Not back to back.

[D]

Maybe twice.

[A]

Maybe twice.

[G]

Exactly.

[D]

The ic. They called a timeout.

[A]

Maybe twice.

[D]

And even then, you got a little bit of a respite before you kicked the second one.

[C]

Even if that were true.

[F]

Five in a row.

[C]

Even if that were true, you clearly didn't even know that. Again, sucker. Because if you knew that, you wouldn't have done it.

[A]

I put it this way. I was kicking them so far that we had to actually move it back to a 40 yard field go instead of a 30 yard field because I was kicking it over the net. And Mike Fuentes had to go to a house, knock on the guy's door, be like, hey, the ball's in the backyard.

[G]

Like the sandlot.

[D]

Embarrassing.

[H]

Nobody believes that.

[D]

Like, sandlot.

[A]

Bring Mike Fuentes in right now.

[C]

He'll tell you.

[D]

Bring him right now.

[A]

Bring him right now.

[F]

Where is he?

[D]

Get in here.

[F]

This is just.

[H]

Everyone thinks they're so good at everything.

[D]

I'll say something about. I'll tell you something about this.

[H]

Someone needs to get fired.

[D]

Hold on.

[B]

I missed it.

[A]

I missed. I'm telling you, it's not that I was good. I just kicked it too far. Mike Fuentes, please. Tell them. You had to go into a nice man.

[H]

You brought Mike in.

[G]

Yeah, of course.

[F]

Because you said it was a lie.

[G]

Just like. No, putting Mike Fuentes on camera is a fine. Someone's got to find him.

[D]

I had to go to a guy's

[A]

house and get the ball out of the backyard. Thank you.

[D]

There you go.

[C]

These guys from the horse's mouth.

[G]

Yeah.

[C]

I got to be perfectly honest with you. It's too many of you guys who are claiming you could do things that you definitely cannot. All right? Like, they're having to be something fine. Right.

[F]

As opposed to me.

[H]

I'm finding Greg. $5 saying that he could.

[G]

For lying.

[H]

What? He. He thinks he could curl damage. You're fine. $5 for saying that you could be on the bobsled team. And Tony for saying.

[B]

Shards.

[H]

Shards of glass. We're going back to the first time claiming that there was my story.

[B]

I'm the greatest Connect4 player you'll ever meet. I'm the best order of food in a restaurant you'll ever meet.

[D]

Hold on.

[B]

I don't just shoot my mouth.

[F]

Also.

[D]

Watch your ass on Connect 4 also.

[H]

Jeremy, right now. Jeremy find $5 for being Whoa.

[C]

Yeah, you slut.

[H]

And the fine bucket is presented by Money Lion. Download Moneyline app or visit moneyline.com to learn more. Money lion make money easy.

[C]

That's how it's done, Jess. How about that?

[E]

Juju just reminded me of something. We played pickleball against Chris and Roy and beat them 11 to 1. So pickleball was something I was gonna say as a newer sport. I feel like in my prime.

[H]

Yeah, Roy was terrible at pickleball.

[A]

To be fair. Roy was taking hacks at pickleballs, hitting him against the wall.

[H]

I was there.

[A]

I never said I was good at picking pickleball.

[C]

Jess, do you have. We. We didn't get to it last week, which may have been my fault. Do we have an Internet minute for say. Yep, let's get to it.

[D]

You all right?

[A]

Time to get in it. It's Jessica's Internet minute.

[E]

Yeah, this one's bad. Have you guys. I kind of wish Mike was here for this one, because I know he's interested in this stupid topic, but. But there's this guy online who I think people became aware of a couple weeks ago. His name's Clavicular. He's a streamer. He does this thing called looks maxing.

[B]

Yes. Give the background of who this character is, because I don't know what it is.

[C]

I don't know what this is.

[E]

The background is he's. I don't know how old he is exactly right now, maybe 20. He dropped out of school. He's making a ton of money streaming, and his whole shtick is that he is a quote, unquote, looks maxer, and he just does what he can to look super hot, I guess. Yeah.

[G]

Including hitting himself in the jaw with a little hammer.

[E]

With a little hammer, yeah. And taking a lot of drugs. That's part of it, too, allegedly. Although I don't think it's alleged. And it's. It's very, I would say, of our time. And I've tried to explain this to people who aren't online who are like, just ignore it. Who cares? I'm like, no, this is. Is what's happening on the Internet now, especially with these streamers that are making tons of money and then, you know, going viral, singing inappropriate song Kanye west songs and clubs in Miami. This is now. This is real life. This is very influential to young people. And they're starting to talk in ways that most people can't understand, like, what even is looks max or mean? But this is what the kids are saying.

[A]

Well, can you get to the point where the ASU frat role completely mogged him. Can you get to that point? Because you didn't mention that.

[D]

Just mog me.

[E]

Yeah. This ASU frat bro mogged clavicular in

[A]

the most embarrassing way.

[C]

I still don't know what mogged means. He keeps saying, I don't know what it means.

[G]

It means, like, bested you, like, showed him up.

[E]

Yeah. And. And, like, clavicular was jester maxing. I guess.

[G]

Yeah. Jester maxing.

[B]

It's bad.

[H]

You know about that jester masking.

[E]

Greg, you're lucky your son is an adult. Zaz. Good luck.

[C]

Yeah, that's my.

[E]

That's more.

[B]

But yes. You know, it used to be, like, bad like good or bad like bad. And that's now how I feel.

[A]

That's a jester way to say it.

[B]

Like, I'm like, I'm an old dork. Which, in fact, I am an old dork. But. But really explain these terms just for maxing and such.

[C]

Okay?

[E]

So maxing is, like, doing something. Like, it kind of is self explanatory. Like, at the beginning of the year, I was like, I'm fiber maxing this year because the doctors are saying, you know, we're not getting enough fiber. So, you know, you're. You're trying.

[C]

That's why Grape Nuts. That's my favorite cereal. Grape Nuts.

[B]

Well, Jester is clowning around. I'm clowning to the right. Maximum amount of clowning around is what you're saying.

[E]

Right. And then there's gooning, which is like, oh, yeah, I'm doing something.

[C]

My son says that all the time.

[D]

Wait, is gooning not what I believe?

[C]

I think it's what you and I think it is. I mean, but it's not part of maxing.

[A]

It's not part of maxing, though, Though

[E]

Kind of the opposite of maxing. Guys, I hate talking. I hate all of this.

[A]

You brought it up.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

Because I feel like we need to have an educational moment, but I don't

[B]

know what gooning is, though.

[C]

What does it mean?

[A]

We'll talk to you about that.

[C]

I'll tell you later that in the club.

[E]

Anyways, none of this is. None of this is good.

[G]

Yeah, it's bad for society, all of us.

[C]

You could check Jess out. Weekly Notre Dame podcast, the Echoes with Mike Golick Jr. Good seeing you, Jess. We'll see you next week.

[D]

Bye, Jess.

[A]

I hope she wants. No, no, no, no. So the ASU frat bro has a better physique than Kovicker.

[B]

Right?

[D]

And Then who?

[F]

What?

[D]

Huh?

[H]

Shards of glass.

[C]

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[H]

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[A]

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[E]

I don't like Smutty either.

[A]

Stew guts.

[E]

Women stay home in the kitchen where they belong.

[A]

This is the Don Levatar show with this two guards.

[C]

I mean, I need. You did a really good job earlier in the show today with NBA stuff, but I need you to help explain what's happening with the Indiana Pacers right now because something took place yesterday with the Pacers that feels kind of shocking. So, Rick Carlile, head coach of the Indiana Pacers, you may have seen. Look, the Pacers have been getting fine left and right.

[H]

Right.

[C]

Lately. You know, they got fined, what, $500,000 a few weeks ago for the nonsense with not playing players.

[D]

100 grand. It was the Jazz that got the big one.

[C]

Oh, okay. So they got fined 100 grand for that. And then they got fined 100 grand again yesterday because, you know, same type of situation, because apparently, you know, they. They. They're sitting players, and the league felt that they should play them. And in this case, it was Aaron Nesmith. Right, Right.

[D]

Nith.

[C]

That's a fine, Aaron, is it?

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[D]

Nice.

[C]

Aaron Neesmith. The league felt that he was supposed to play. The Pacers didn't play him. They got fined $100,000. And so Rick Carlisle was on a local Indianapolis radio show yesterday, and here is the Pacers head coach talking about, like, how ridiculous it is.

[F]

I put out a statement about it. I didn't agree with it. There was a league lawyer that was doing the interview that kind of unilaterally decided that Aaron Neesmith, who had been injured the night before and couldn't hold the ball, should have played in the game, which just seems ridiculous. And during the interview process, I was not on it, but I. But I heard details. We asked them if they wanted to talk to the doctors, our doctors about it, because it's something that was documented by our doctors and trainers. They said, no, they didn't need to. They talked to their doctors who did not examine Aaron Neesmith, and we asked them if they wanted to talk to the kid, and they said, no, they didn't need to. So this was. This was shocking. This was shocking to me. And during the interview, they also asked if we'd considered medicating him to play in a game when we were 30 games under.500. So I was very surprised, you know, obviously didn't agree with him.

[C]

So the part that stands out the most to everyone, I would think, is the league wanting them to medicate the player and them deciding not to. Like, that's the part that's going to open everyone's eyes with those comments, right? Yeah.

[D]

So we talked about this on Basketball Illuminati. That's the podcast I do with Tom Havish, was produced by Anthony Mays. Keep your third eye open. Say three times to keep your third eye open. Basketball Illuminati. Basketball Illuminati. Basketball Illuminati. Wherever you get podcasts, by the way, Jared Weiss of the Athletic was our guest. So we talked about this concept, this idea that, again, I had. I feel like a precog in the movie Minority Report. Good movie. Thank you. Like it?

[C]

It is suffering John Anderton, to always

[D]

live in the future and never kind of really be able to live in the present. When they announced the 65 game rule, I felt like a lonely voice in the echo saying, this is dumb. And this is what's going to happen. Instead of compelling healthy players to play, all we're going to do is force unhealthy players to play. And that's what the league was trying to do. It was definitely reactionary from Adam Silver's press conference and all the talk about tanking and all that and the shenanigans Utah was doing. They wanted to lay hammers around on everybody. They're throwing out writing tickets for everybody.

[C]

He's lost right now. This Adam Silver, like he's done nothing for so long that now it's like, like, hey, I got to go so over the top with my reaction to things like this. And now you're seeing the reaction where Rick Carlisle is dispensing this kind of information. This Adam Silver, he's lost.

[D]

Well, I would say he has not handled certain things to the best of his ability and this is one of them. Because again, the problem with all of this, this is all stemming from load management. And people like Mike Ryan just believe in NBA players don't care about playing. It was never about that. Who is the poster child for load management?

[C]

Kawhi Leonard.

[D]

Kawhi Leonard, right. It started in Toronto. You know why they were load managing him? Cuz the dude was hurt. He was hurt in San Antonio, he was hurt in San Antonio. He got to Toronto. He really wasn't 100%. We saw it in that playoff run where he's literally dragging his foot. He can't even jump over this piece of paper. But he played and they won. And then obviously he's got to kind of figure out how to make himself available for the maximum amount of time. But somehow along the line, because this is where I'm critical of Adam Silver in the NBA, they allowed people to turn that into he doesn't want to play. And like, no, the dude is clearly a broken man. And in most cases that we're seeing, it is about, hey, how can I ration out what little health this guy has? And so in this case, I think the damning thing is not only, well, couldn't you just medicate him and throw him out there? That's, that's crazy.

[C]

That's a thing to say.

[D]

That's crazy. But the fact that they would not examine him, that they did not look at the imaging or whatever, like that's, that's it turns into just, I don't give a shit, make him play.

[G]

The NBA issued a statement to the Athletic.

[C]

It says after, after Carlisle's.

[G]

Yes, right. It says Coach Carlisle's description of the process that went into the decision to find the Indiana Pacers is inaccurate. An independent position led the medical review. In addition, the Pacer's general manager and the team's senior vice president, sports medicine and performance, were interviewed as part of the process. The Pacers confirmed that it had provided all of the information requested by the league. And the team reported that an interview with Coach Carlisle or a team physician was not necessary.

[D]

This is what I know. Like on our podcast, we'll have guests all the time. We have Jeff Stock, who's the foremost injury expert. He's a certified athletic trainer. He's got a database that NBA teams pay him for access to about injury histories. We've had Dr. Brian Siderer, who is a physician, works up in Minnesota, I believe, and he does a lot of sports injury stuff. Whenever we ask them like specifics about, hey, what do you think about this injury? Do you think? Da, da, da. They always preface it with I can't say because I have not examined the guy. I can't tell you sitting here, I can tell you what historically these injuries take, what kind of recovery times, whatever. But in terms of specifically what he's dealing with, without me examining him and having access to the imaging and all that, I would not feel comfortable saying these things. And so that's a really kind of vague response by the league. What exactly was the information that they reviewed, what they see and what did they see that did not require them to either examine the patient or even speak to the patient? Which is another part of it. It's kind of odd. I don't know. I'm with Coach Carlisle here. It seems like overkill, but this is where we're at. Zaz, you're right. Because they didn't do anything for so

[C]

long out of control.

[D]

Now we gotta show people what we mean business, right?

[B]

Yes. Reactive sort of thing, but more globally, I guess. I guess the sort of irony is for in a. At a time when there's some percentage of people that genuflect to the past, back in my day they used to play back to back to backs in the NBA. Why can't modern players do that? And the answer is, correct me if I'm wrong. Amin. Much like starting pitchers don't go nine innings anymore like they standardly used to, is because today's players are in fact redlining every possession, every trip up the floor, they are going to all out 100%. Whereas the players of yesteryear paced themselves

[C]

out a little bit.

[B]

I mean, isn't that at the root of A lot of these kind of the ironic or otherwise kind of discussions about these guys don't try as hard.

[D]

Yes. So there are three things that work at least in basketball. Number one is the mileage on these players coming to our league is much higher than it's ever been before. Right. Guys 20 years ago did not play high school AAU basketball all summer long, 17 million games.

[C]

But can't we also say that now these guys don't go to college?

[D]

If you add up the reps played from youth all the way up to the start of their NBA career, regardless if you want to add college in there or not, it is much higher now than it's ever been. Right. And also specialization, back in the day, most of these guys were, yeah, I'm also the star quarterback and the star shortstop. Yeah, they don't do that anymore. Right.

[B]

It's the Babe Ruth thing. Why did Babe Ruth hit. So Babe Ruth was facing the same guy in the eighth inning that he was facing in the first inning and that fourth time through the lineup.

[F]

Right?

[H]

Right.

[B]

And that pitcher was on his 140th throw of the game. That's just not the way it is.

[F]

They were, they were pitching 400 innings back then.

[G]

Right.

[D]

Like again, I'm talking about before they even step foot on a basketball, an NBA court, they're already warned at a level that have never been worn before. Number two, the style of play. Right. Because of the three point shot, guys are closing out to further distances and bigger guys are moving a lot faster, more agile. So there's a lot of change of direction. So there's a lot of kind of undue pressure and stress on ligaments. Number three. And this is the big one, right. Even if those things weren't true, if I went back to 1998 and decided to load manage Michael Jordan, guess what? He would have been even more freaking amazing. And at that point everyone would have been like, well, I got to do it too, in order to keep up. Right. Once someone starts doing it, for you to not do it out of toughness is actually a detriment, not an additive.

[C]

I want to make sure we end on a high note today. And I have not done a good job at promoting this week's episode of the Greg Cody show with Greg Cody. And specifically I am most, I am most interested in what catchphrase numbers we are at. Where are we with the catchphrases? Top 50, which of course Greg does not have mapped out and is completely winging it. What numbers are we on right now in our top 50.

[A]

Great.

[C]

Cody.

[B]

As he scrambles to look through.

[F]

No, I found him. We're at numbers 36 and 35.

[C]

Are you willing to give us the best one? Give us one. Well, give us the best. Wouldn't 35 be the best one?

[F]

I'm going to give you the one that's the most topical.

[D]

Okay.

[F]

Okay. Because this just we just finished with the Olympics. Number 35 is.

[C]

This is a new alone improved and

[A]

levitar show with the stugats gamble on by draftkings.