Hour 2: Jolly Old Saint Dick

Summary

The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz Episode: Hour 2: Jolly Old Saint Dick Release Date: November 21, 2024

From the Elser Hotel in Downtown Miami, hosts Dan Le Batard and Stugotz dive deep into the world of sports, pop culture, and everything in between. In this episode titled "Jolly Old Saint Dick," the duo engages in lively discussions ranging from NFL parlays and legendary coaching figures to humorous takes on holiday traditions.

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1. Thursday Pick Parlay Discussion

Timestamp: 01:10 - 05:04

The episode kicks off with the hosts strategizing their picks for a Thursday Night Football parlay. Mike Ryan introduces a four-pick strategy focused on underdog bets, while Jessica counters with her preferences.

• Mike Ryan: "Nobody likes being the under guy. Mike Ryan has under 37 as the first leg. 37 is not a lot of points." (02:00)

• Dan Le Batard: Reflects on supporting the Steelers despite challenging odds. (03:27)

The conversation highlights the camaraderie and friendly betting rivalries among the hosts, ending with Dan expressing support for a Steelers' shutout:

• Dan Le Batard: "I'm rooting for that. Four zero, Steelers. That's what I'm rooting for tonight." (04:55)

2. Tribute to Hubie Brown

Timestamp: 05:16 - 16:04

The hosts pay homage to Hubie Brown, a revered figure in basketball coaching, celebrating his graceful retirement at 91. They delve into his storied career and impact on the NBA.

• Mike Ryan: "Hubie Brown is in the middle of his final season. It has been announced again." (05:25)

• Dan Le Batard: Shares personal anecdotes about living in hilly Pittsburgh, relating to Brown's coaching environment. (11:55)

The segment underscores Brown's legacy and the respect he commands across the sports community.

3. Jay Leno's Mysterious Fall

Timestamp: 07:05 - 16:04

A humorous yet investigative discussion unfolds around Jay Leno's reported fall near a Hampton Inn outside Pittsburgh. The hosts question the validity and details of the incident, incorporating listener contributions.

• Chris Cody: "He looks like he's got a whole thing of mistletoe stuffed in there." (36:34)

• Mina Kimes: Clarifies the severity of the injuries, attributing them to a mundane accident rather than any nefarious activities. (14:30)

This lighthearted debate showcases the hosts' ability to blend humor with genuine curiosity.

4. Gas Bag of the Week: Sauce Gardner

Timestamp: 17:12 - 21:00

The panel criticizes Jets' cornerback Sauce Gardner for his lack of interceptions, dubbing him the "Gas Bag of the Week." They debate whether his performance decline is due to personal distractions like golfing or strategic defensive plays by opponents.

• Mike Ryan: "Sauce Gardner has gone 35 straight games without an interception." (19:08)

• Mina Kimes: Suggests that opposing teams might be avoiding throwing to Gardner, impacting his stats. (21:09)

This segment highlights frustrations and differing perspectives on player performance metrics.

5. The Evolution of Sports Media

Timestamp: 25:34 - 28:19

A reflective discussion on the decline of iconic sports shows like "Around the Horn." The hosts lament the shift from diverse, geographically representative opinions to a more homogenized media landscape dominated by former athletes.

• Mike Ryan: "This is a shift away from journalism to more former athletes." (25:34)

• Chris Cody: Emphasizes the importance of diverse perspectives in sports journalism. (26:24)

The conversation touches on the broader implications of media consolidation and the loss of varied voices in sports commentary.

6. Santa Claus Photo Mishap

Timestamp: 30:40 - 42:42

A comedic segment ensues as the hosts dissect photos of Santa Claus with unexpected and humorous visual anomalies. Jessica shares a photo where Santa's attire reveals more than intended, leading to playful banter and vivid descriptions.

• Dan Le Batard: "While you could clearly see the outline of his balls in every single picture." (34:04)

• Stugotz: Provides a graphic description to entertain the audience. (36:11)

The light-hearted joke serves as a break from intense sports analysis, showcasing the show's comedic side.

7. Football Analysis and Predictions

Timestamp: 43:08 - 49:47

Returning focus to football, the hosts analyze team performances, discuss player statistics, and make predictions for upcoming games.

• Stugotz: Highlights the Steelers' defensive prowess against Lamar Jackson. (43:10)

• Jessica: Declares the San Francisco 49ers' playoff hopes as dim. (43:42)

• Stugotz: Breaks down the Chargers' offensive strategies and the Ravens' defensive strengths. (46:10)

These insights provide listeners with informed opinions and foster engaging discussions on NFL dynamics.

8. Closing Remarks and Listener Engagement

Timestamp: 49:47 - End

The episode wraps up with acknowledgments of contest winners, interactions with listeners, and final thoughts on upcoming sports events. The hosts maintain their signature blend of humor, camaraderie, and sports enthusiasm, leaving listeners anticipating the next episode.

• Mike Ryan: "Adam and Jess, come on in here. You can stand in the back of the room awkwardly during the segment." (31:58)

• Stugotz: Shares funny anecdotes about guests and past events. (24:01)

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Notable Quotes:

• Dan Le Batard: "I'm rooting for that. Four zero, Steelers. That's what I'm rooting for tonight." (04:55)

• Mike Ryan: "Sauce Gardner has gone 35 straight games without an interception." (19:08)

• Stugotz: "There it is. That's the curve." (15:28)

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Conclusion:

In "Jolly Old Saint Dick," Dan Le Batard and Stugotz deliver a dynamic and entertaining episode that balances in-depth sports analysis with humor and heartfelt tributes. From dissecting NFL strategies to sharing amusing holiday mishaps, the show offers a comprehensive and engaging listening experience for sports enthusiasts and casual fans alike.

Transcript

[Dan Le Batard]

You're listening to Giraffe Kings Network.

[Stugotz]

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[Chris Cody]

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[Mike Ryan]

Levator show with the St. Gats podcast.

[Tony]

That's right, it's Thursday Thunder and it's brought to you by our friends at DraftKings. Stay tuned because you'll hear all about DraftKings and all it has to offer throughout the show. DraftKings. The Crown is yours. Tony.

[Jessica]

What do we got, Dano? Tonight we've got a true Thursday Thunder. Thank you.

[Mike Ryan]

That didn't feel like a true Thursday Thunder. That sounded like fake thunder to me.

[Jessica]

That was fake thunder.

[Mike Ryan]

This is real.

[Chris Cody]

This sounded real.

[Jessica]

No, no, this is real. All right, so the four pick parlay went so well last time that we're going to go back to the well in hopes for a different result. Dan, four pick parlay tonight for Thursday Night Football. This was put together by Mike Ryan, by the way, because I'm an over guy. I'm not an under guy. I don't like being the under guy. Dan. Oh, he's the over guy.

[Mike Ryan]

Nobody likes being.

[Jessica]

Nobody likes being the under guy. Mike Ryan has under 37 as the first leg. 37 is not a lot of points.

[Mike Ryan]

Good God.

[Chris Cody]

That's very low.

[Jessica]

It's a very low.

[Tony]

I don't hate that, though. Steelers defense. Damn good.

[Jessica]

Second leg, Cleveland Browns plus seven and a half.

[Mike Ryan]

So you're telling me that we are going tonight to Flanagan's to have a watch party? And Flanagan's, I warn you, we bring a lot of people with us wherever we go. Be ready for what it is that we're bringing. Your way. We're bringing your way. Less than 37 points. A football game with less than 37 points.

[Tony]

Just start cooking the rib rolls now.

[Jessica]

Yeah, but I have 20 of them. Yeah, so, Cleveland Browns plus seven and a half. That's the second leg. Next one over half of an interception for James Winston tonight.

[Mike Ryan]

Money in the bank.

[Jessica]

Half.

[Tony]

I'm going to put my entire. My daughter's entire college fund.

[Jessica]

Last leg. Under three and a half total touchdowns for both teams. So that's under 37. Cleveland Browns plus seven and a half. Over half. An interception for Jameis Winston. Under three and a half total touchdowns. Four both teams. Gives you a plus 400 parlay.

[Mike Ryan]

Jessica, why are you making the stink face at Tony? What don't you like about what he's saying?

[Dan Le Batard]

It's fine.

[Jessica]

Mike's not mine.

[Dan Le Batard]

I know I'm not making stink face at Tony. I think that you're putting not a lot of faith in the Steelers offense. But the other side of that is it's Thursday night after a big divisional game on Sunday, and the Steelers on Thursday night in divisional games have historically just not been very good. So I think the reasoning. I see both sides of the reasoning there.

[Chris Cody]

But.

[Dan Le Batard]

But I'm hoping that The Steelers score 40 points and win in a blowout and hit all of the overs. So.

[Chris Cody]

But I'm also actively rooting against the parlay.

[Dan Le Batard]

I think that happens, like, happens every week. We all act.

[Mike Ryan]

We.

[Dan Le Batard]

We root against each other's picks and against the spread in Thursday. Thunder.

[Chris Cody]

Real piece of shit.

[Dan Le Batard]

Me.

[Chris Cody]

Yeah. Joel Embiid. Okay, man. Are we in this together or not? Not a real one.

[Dan Le Batard]

It's Mike's parlay. I just said I think his reasoning is. I understand where he's coming from. The Steelers on Thursday night, you Hope.

[Chris Cody]

They score 40 in a blowout. She.

[Mike Ryan]

See.

[Stugotz]

Yeah.

[Dan Le Batard]

Because I'm a Steelers fan, I'm not going to lie. Do you think I should lie to our audience and say, yeah, I hope. I hope the Steelers don't score more than two touchdowns?

[Chris Cody]

You should hope the Steelers win. Why do you care whether they score 40 or 4 if they win 4.

[Dan Le Batard]

0, the more points they score, the more likely they are to win.

[Mina Kimes]

40 would be amazing.

[Chris Cody]

2 safeties and then they win. Wouldn't you be happy?

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah, I would be happy. I would be very happy.

[Chris Cody]

And then we also.

[Dan Le Batard]

Everyone would be so mad if the Steelers won a game without kicking a field goal or scoring a touchdown. It would be the funniest thing that's ever happened.

[Tony]

It'd be another notch on his belt. Mike Tomlin.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah, it would be awesome.

[Stugotz]

All right.

[Dan Le Batard]

I'm rooting for that.

[Chris Cody]

There you go.

[Dan Le Batard]

Four zero, Steelers. That's. That's what I'm rooting for tonight.

[Chris Cody]

That's how you build culture.

[Tony]

Tonight's game ends 4 0. Dan will pay for the tab for the entire bar.

[Mike Ryan]

Yes, Dan, that's fine. Everybody put their phones in the middle of the table here. I want everybody's phone because Jessica's a real piece of shit.

[Chris Cody]

Got nothing to hide.

[Mike Ryan]

Everybody's phones right.

[Chris Cody]

Here we go.

[Mike Ryan]

In the middle. Hubie Brown is in the middle of his final season. It has been announced again. Everybody put your phones.

[Chris Cody]

You think this is a joke?

[Mike Ryan]

Phone's right here. Everybody put your phone.

[Jessica]

I don't have a phone. I don't have a phone.

[Chris Cody]

Don't worry.

[Mike Ryan]

Everybody puts in.

[Tony]

You can see how willing. But you can see the guilty ones by how willing they are to do this.

[Mike Ryan]

Yes. I also just saw how my leadership style is just the first time is always ignored. And then I have to ask several times. I just talked to you guys about that in the meeting before the show. Like, I don't know why you guys make me ask for things several times. You guys, it's just the opposite of what running a business is supposed to work like. But you guys always make me ask for things multiple times. Hubie Brown, at 91 years old, is one of the rare people who is actually getting an ending that has some grace on it. Retiring at 91 years old. I hope he gets all of the applause that he deserves as somebody who has been a distinguished voice for what it is that Amin is talking about saying. The NBA needs more of it in marketing and otherwise, which is just someone who's joyful about the game, someone who loves what they're watching, as opposed to giving you what Jeff Van Gundy made the league so mad about. Because he wasn't just always giving you positivity and joy about the game, even though obviously he loves the game.

[Amin Elhassan]

I mean, a man's been doing that for 52 years. Five, two.

[Chris Cody]

I've seen this before on social media where they, like, they trace the beginnings of basketball, that Hubie Brown has ties to all of basketball, basically the entirety of the NBA and beyond. Obviously, he wasn't around when Dr. Naismith created the game, but yes, he was the good doctor.

[Mike Ryan]

Yes, he was. He knew him before he was a doctor, before he got his doctorate, when.

[Chris Cody]

He was just Jimmy Naismith. He was a d'er do. Well, he did.

[Mike Ryan]

He called him Jimmy when they were rollicking throughout the 19 or the whatever, the 1800s, whenever it was, Jimmy, Jimmy.

[Chris Cody]

What are you doing with that peach basket, man? Jimmy's crazy.

[Mike Ryan]

He knew Jimmy. When Jimmy used the peach basket for peaches before he was using it as the basket. I appreciate the fake laugh there. I miss it. From st. Thank you. I mean, Snoop Dogg has revealed that Stevie Wonder facetimes him closer to a real laugh. I'll get you to real laugh. Put up the video, please, of J. Jay Leno's face. Jay Leno again had incredible old man injury. He fell down a hill. His entire left side is purple, black and blue. It wasn't a hill. It was more like a cliff. And the most shocking detail in that story was that he was staying in a Hampton Inn 30 miles outside of Pittsburgh. And when I read the story the first time, I legitimately thought that it said Hamptons, that he fell down a hill in the Hamptons, which would make more sense to me than him falling down a hill outside of a Hampton inn in Pittsburgh. I really don't understand how it is that Jay Leno is still on the comedy club grind of going to Pittsburgh for any reason to perform.

[Chris Cody]

Well, Dan, we have several updates on this story. Update number one comes as a character testimony comes from one Brad Williams, who, when we said, why would this guy who's with all this money be doing the chitlin circuit, pretty much hitting up small comedy clubs on the circuit. And he said, this is according to Brad Williams. He's just wired that way. He's a strange guy. All he wants to do is do stand up and mess around with his cars, pretty much. And so, like, the trappings of fame don't appeal to Jay Leno. So that would say, okay, makes sense. But we got another update. This is courtesy of Billy Gill, courtesy of Pete Sirianni. Remember him? Back at ESPN Radio, courtesy of the Pittsburgh Tribune, where it turns out neither employees at the Hampton Inn nor Dino is a restaurant that was at the bottom of the hill. Remember seeing Jay Leno at any moment this last weekend?

[Stugotz]

What?

[Dan Le Batard]

That's weird, right?

[Chris Cody]

And then we got a third update courtesy of Jeremy Tasha.

[Mina Kimes]

Well, I don't have my phone, so I don't have all the details with me at this point, but there was a fan of the show who DMed me on Instagram and said that their par parents have a place 15 minutes away from that Hampton inn. Sent me a picture of a Google maps of the reported giant hill that Jay Leno fell down. And let me tell you, Dan, not a very large hill.

[Chris Cody]

Not at all. I saw the picture.

[Mike Ryan]

So we're questioning the story.

[Chris Cody]

I'm telling you, we're going back to our Theory from yesterday again, hit the reckless speculation sounder. For those who missed it.

[Mike Ryan]

Time to throw away dull journalistic credibility and get reckless. Here is something we like to call reckless spec.

[Stugotz]

You're good.

[Chris Cody]

Unpaid gambling debts.

[Mike Ryan]

You can't do that.

[Stugotz]

Really?

[Dan Le Batard]

Reckless.

[Mike Ryan]

You can't do that.

[Jessica]

We played the reckless speculation. He's good.

[Mike Ryan]

No, but Stugotts wasn't here to say that. It's good, but Stugotts has to say it. It's not the same as Roy saying it.

[Stugotz]

What does that mean?

[Chris Cody]

He's next door. I can go get him.

[Mike Ryan]

Stugatz is the authority on giving us the ability to do things that are, you know, flammable, illegal, and protection potentially libelous.

[Chris Cody]

Stugatz. I'm talking to Chris Sims right now, but I kind of feel like this is one of those times. Oh, he's texting. Stugatz is the leak. First of all, number one. Number two, I think if he would agree to interrupt his interview for just a second just to give us the clearance. Do I have your permission, Daniel?

[Mike Ryan]

No, I don't want to keep doing this. We're okay. We need to move away from you saying that Jay Leno is purple because he's got unpaid gambling debt.

[Dan Le Batard]

I'm just saying that is a nasty fall. So first of all, I need Jeremy to get his phone back because I want to know what part of Pittsburgh this was in. Because Pittsburgh as a whole, if you've ever been extremely hilly. My grandparents house that they lived in for 100 years in Pittsburgh actually had like, it was built on a hill. Everything's built like it's the shire. Everything's built into a hill in Pittsburgh. And they had a hill in their backyard. And we would go hiking around there and like these little hills all the time in Pittsburgh. And I've fallen down a hill in Pittsburgh before. I took a nasty tumble. It wasn't crap exactly. It wasn't quite as bad as Jay Leno's, but I find this plausible. There's a lot of very. You would be shocked by how steep some of the, even the smaller hills in Pittsburgh are. There's rocks, there's debris, there's trees, there's roots.

[Chris Cody]

Jessica, I hear you. I appreciate your perspective. Two things. Number one, this wasn't Pittsburgh. This was 30 minutes outside of Pittsburgh, still hilly.

[Dan Le Batard]

Number two, I'm a huge piece of shit. But go on.

[Mike Ryan]

Number three, real piece of shit. Not a huge piece of. It's a small piece of shit. It's not a huge piece of shit. It's A real piece of shit.

[Chris Cody]

Real number three. I done seen the hill. Jeremy showed it to me. It's.

[Dan Le Batard]

I want to see it. Why didn't you send it to me? Is the Hampton in by the airport? Like where.

[Mike Ryan]

Where is 30 minutes outside of Pittsburgh is reported.

[Jessica]

I'm. I'm a little. I'm a little skeptical about. I just saw the video of him pulling up the Eyepatch and one side of his face looks like Phantom of the Opera with whole. Whole side absolutely bruised. Do you fall down a hill just on one side the whole way down? Do do do do do do do do Rolling. Do you roll?

[Mike Ryan]

Does.

[Jessica]

Do things fly up? Do you hit certain places? Dan, it can't be that the right or left side of his face just went all the way down.

[Mike Ryan]

Well, but his right. He's got broken appendages on his right hand. I also ask you to look up for me and help me with this because Jimmy Fallon has showed up a couple of times on the Tonight show where he's just injured, where he's got something that happened to him. Like. He also does some falling down on occasion, has a history of it. I don't know what it is with these Tonight show hosts.

[Chris Cody]

I wonder what it is.

[Mike Ryan]

What is the reporting on Jimmy Fallon?

[Mina Kimes]

I'm thinking, and I will confirm it here in a moment, but I believe what he explained the hand injury to be was that he had dropped his wedding ring down a sink and went to go grab it and destroyed his finger or something like that. I'll confirm those details.

[Mike Ryan]

Hold on a second. Time to throw away dull journalistic credibility and get reckless, here is something we like to call reckless speculation.

[Stugotz]

Oh, good.

[Chris Cody]

Somehow I believe it. I got whispered something in my ear that made me a lot less reckless.

[Dan Le Batard]

It appears that Jay Leno was in Greensburg, Pennsylvania, which is not far from Latrobe, where the Steelers have their fall camp. Very hilly around there. Also not far from Johnstown. Have you guys ever read David McCullough's epic about the Johnstown flood? Great.

[Chris Cody]

Have I.

[Dan Le Batard]

It is excellent. But there is a lot of. There's a lot of hills in that area. Dan.

[Mike Ryan]

Fall camp.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah, like their training camp at St. Vincent's in Latrobe.

[Mina Kimes]

Falling. Jimmy Fallon fell on a rug and tried to catch himself on a counter where his finger then got stuck on the counter and was basically ripped apart.

[Tony]

We've all been there.

[Chris Cody]

Sounds plausible, Dan. Here's the other thing about Jay Leno. If we could bring up his picture one more time. Jay Leno with the eye Patch off, please. Cue it up. You know what he looks like? Looks like Harvey Dent.

[Jessica]

Yeah. Two Face.

[Mike Ryan]

Two Face.

[Chris Cody]

Back to Batman Forever on Cinephile this week. Wherever you get podcast.

[Mike Ryan]

It does look a little bit like makeup because he is so purple. And I don't know that I've seen a human being. Bad skin, weed, quite that purple before.

[Dan Le Batard]

Johnstown also near Altoona. Altoona is famous for the railroad track that goes around a curve. If you ever need something soothing to watch late at night. YouTube.com Altoona Curve. It's also a minor league baseball team. The oldest roller coaster in the world, I believe is in Altoona.

[Chris Cody]

Is it?

[Dan Le Batard]

It's wooden. It's still operational. My cousins have ridden on it. I've never been on it. But the railroad. The train goes around this curve. It's. Oh, it's like a horseshoe. It's wonderful.

[Chris Cody]

You're just full of delight.

[Dan Le Batard]

There it is.

[Stugotz]

There it is.

[Dan Le Batard]

That's the curve.

[Mike Ryan]

Put it on the pole, please. Show is Altoona famous for a train track that goes around a curb? Because I did not know that A. Okay curve. Thank you for the correction. I did not know that that was something that I didn't realize that we were going to land in a Pittsburgh adjacent wheelhouse where Jessica couldn't find enough things that she's interested in.

[Dan Le Batard]

I'm just saying, if something's going to happen in western pa, it's going to be an old guy falling. It's very plausible.

[David Sampson]

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[Tony]

Cheaters never prosper.

[Mike Ryan]

Stugats.

[Chris Cody]

I ain't cheating.

[Mike Ryan]

This is the Dan Levatar show with the stugats. Can you guys get me speaking of things that I have mentioned several times that I want that I do not get, because I have to mention things several times around here and do not get them. The gas bag of the week, please. Do we have a gas bag of the week that I've been requesting here for a long time? We do.

[Tony]

We have a fun one. And it's the jets fans not happy with Sauce Gardner right now. It's been a long time since he's even had an interception. Brandon Tierney is a host for wfan. And you know, Sauce Gardner has been playing golf. He's not tackling people. He's a small jets fan's not happy. And Brandon Tierney is speaking to that about Sauce Gardner.

[Billy Gill]

Hey, Sauce.

[Chris Cody]

A little chillier today out here in the. In the New Jersey, New York area. I get that.

[Mike Ryan]

But I'm sure you can still squeeze.

[Billy Gill]

In a few more rounds of golf.

[Chris Cody]

Looking at the 10 day weather forecast.

[Mike Ryan]

So feel free to go out there.

[Chris Cody]

And, you know, work on that lob wedge and those leg parts and those five irons and little knockdown shots.

[Mike Ryan]

Whatever you do.

[Chris Cody]

And while you're at it, how about you mixing a protein shake and hit a weight?

[Mike Ryan]

I mean, that. That's it with, you know what? He.

[Chris Cody]

I'm not calling him Sauce anymore. Ahmed Gardner is officially back to being Ahmed Gardner.

[Mike Ryan]

You don't deserve it. You can't tackle for shit.

[Chris Cody]

Damn.

[Mike Ryan]

Gas bag of the week.

[Chris Cody]

Dan. It's hard for me not to take a victory lap. There are so many things. You know what I. When I'm dead and gone, I'm gonna be up in heaven. I'm gonna look down on the sports media landscape and I'm gonna see so many things. That's me. Y'all do this cuz of me. Patino game. People not walking, they do that because of me. Calling guys by their real names as opposed to their nicknames. You're doing that because of me. Look at me, Louie.

[Mike Ryan]

You invented that.

[Chris Cody]

I created all of these cultural touchstones of how we talk about sports. Do I get a thank you? No. Instead, I get snitches and I gotta collect phones here. That's what I get.

[Mike Ryan]

Well, thank You. Thank you for being a content creator and inventor. Thank you for being a star Meadowlark employee who is perpetually doing good work.

[Chris Cody]

Love my sponsors too.

[Mike Ryan]

Can you get me the stat of the day please as well? Chris? Start of the day, start of the day it is the start of the day Start of the day start of the day it is the start of the day Start of the day, start of the day it is the start of the day Start of the day start of the day it is the start of the day Sauce Gardner, who was being talked about last year as the best cornerback in the game, has gone 35 straight games without an interception. I legitimately didn't know he had played 35 games. 375 different NFL players have intercepted a passion since Gardner's last pick. He is allegedly addicted to golf and so a lot of people that are mad at the jets and mad at Sauce Gardner for not being very good anymore and I thought he was great last year. I am confused by why he's not good are blaming it on this quote unquote golf addiction.

[Chris Cody]

How do you pursue that addiction? When the weather is terrible because it's cold now, you can't hit the links in New York. So how exactly do they think it is impacting him right now?

[Dan Le Batard]

People play golf like year round in a lot of places. New York, even when it's cold. New York, yeah. Some courses stay open. New York also, like it doesn't get that cold there anymore.

[Mike Ryan]

It's warm now. It just doesn't.

[Mina Kimes]

Look, I'm not an expert cornerback analyst, but I am wondering, like we used to give Namdi Asomwa all this credit for not intercepting the ball because they wouldn't throw his way. Sauce Gardner reputationally is one of the best corners. So is there not a chance that at least for a portion of this time it was because people were avoiding throwing at him?

[Jessica]

You haven't been watching jets games. That's what it was.

[Mina Kimes]

No, I clearly haven't.

[Chris Cody]

He's been lost every play lost in the sauce.

[Mike Ryan]

We're going to ask Mina Kimes about this in a little bit. She's going to be on with us and I'm not going to talk to her about some of the news that broke yesterday in the New York Post, but I do wonder how the rest of you experienced that. Around the horn, it's now being reported, is going to be gone after 23 years. An amazing run for a show that now becomes in the new espn, less important. I imagine that they'll just fill it with football that football is just going to be any everywhere and gambling I would imagine. I don't know anything here. So I am Mike Greenberg. I don't know anything. I'm not reporting any facts.

[Chris Cody]

I haven't spoken to anybody either.

[Mike Ryan]

But I do know that it is ending and that the reports are true. And I am made sad by this as someone who saw so many of the people that we care about come through to the spotlight of media fame and voice through that show. Whether it is Pablo Torre or Bomani Jones or Tony Reali or Mina Kimes. It was a place where voices have been developed. And the original incarnation of that show was with Max Kellerman. Max Kellerman overplayed his hand and they went down the hall and got somebody who was interning at TTI to host the show. And the advice that Tony Reali was given about 20 plus years ago was just keep your head down, don't ask for payment, don't say anything they'll forget. Just keep hosting. Just keep hosting. And a 20 year career was born out of somebody was down the hall. And he was great at that show and made everyone around him enjoy that show, made people feel special, created a sense of family and community around that show. And here you see a photo of Stugotts who appeared on that show a handful of times and it's like a drowned rat. Enjoyed that show. That is a cleaned up Stugatz. That is cleaned up. That is very clean.

[Dan Le Batard]

That's Stugotts.

[Mike Ryan]

That's as clean as you will ever see Stugatz. Stugatz didn't dress that well for my wedding where he was next door brushing his teeth and changing his sneakers on a lawn next door.

[Chris Cody]

Oh man, I saw him. Stugott. You know, I know we've told this story before but it is a classic Stugott story. Stugott showed up late to Dan's wedding and and I saw him get out of the Uber brushing his teeth as he approached. He had a button up shirt, jeans, sneakers and a baseball cap on.

[Jessica]

Took the cap off though, out of respect for you, Dan.

[Mike Ryan]

You guys feel any kind of way about this or just another program that's gone? I'm miserable about it for 23 years.

[Mina Kimes]

This was in part what sparked what I my passion for wanting to do this really was this show. I wanted to be Tony reality. I still kinda wanna be Tony Reali.

[Tony]

He who doesn't.

[Mina Kimes]

That show was so entertaining. It brought in so many voices and allowed you to hear a whole bunch of different perspectives without what first take has become, which is just like truly screaming at each other because reality did such an incredible job of keeping it as organized chaos. And now I'm also biased. I interned with them and so I know the production crew and the family. The family environment that you talk about, Dan, like it is so fostered through that group and through like the joy that they bring into that studio every day. And it comes through your television. And this, this is a staple of all of our childhoods and all of what sports media has been for the last two decades. So to see it go away is. I'm really, really heartbroken about it.

[Mike Ryan]

It's a shift, I mean away. And this is going to keep happening more and more in content. It's a shift away from journalism to more former athletes.

[Chris Cody]

So really quick. One of the things that was special about that show was it was a time when sports media was not monolithic. There was an accusation of east coast bias. So this show was designed to have Kalashaw and Dallas and you know, Blackistone in Chicago and all these people were representing different perspectives from around the country of these sports stories. One of the things that's happened because of Twitter and social media is this group think where you don't even have a diversity of opinion journalism or not across many of these topics that's based geographically. It's just you gotta find the people who are just a little bit out there.

[Mike Ryan]

If you do not know the history of this and the history of this will get lost in whatever it is the evolution of sports media is. But there was a time that ESPN didn't actually have a weighty sports credibility. So what they did is they went and bought a bunch of sportswriters and just by being able to put behind them Chicago Tribune, Dallas Morning News, L.A. times, the words borrowed newspaper credibility, sports watching and then finished terminated those things. Sports sections were not able to endure that. The only one who sat that out was the New York Times. They would not allow their sports writers to be shared by ESPN because they saw what ESPN was doing in grabbing all of the writers like me, I was never on around the Horn, but they were grabbing a bunch of people to keep them, to buy them, to purchase them so that they could have the credibility. And then what ended up happening is they outlive the relevance of many of those newspapers by buying their star columnists and using that credibility to give them a coast to coast appeal before they could authentically be known as not the worldwide leader, but the leader in America. Because they had a bunch of people from all over the country. And they were just buying the credibility of the newsroom so that they. It didn't even matter what any of those people were saying. It just mattered that you were able to put a newsroom behind you that said Chicago Tribune, Louisiana. Times and all of that stuff.

[Dan Le Batard]

Denver.

[Chris Cody]

Denver.

[Dan Le Batard]

Dan, were you too good for around the Horn? Why weren't you on around the Horn?

[Chris Cody]

He did pti.

[Mike Ryan]

I was doing Pardon the interruption. And I don't think. I don't think they. I don't think they ever invited me to do around the Horn.

[Chris Cody]

Hey, canceled. Never. Never got invited to around the Horn. Everyone's like, why don't you ever do around the Horn? Like they never asked, but I would.

[Mike Ryan]

Have said no if they had.

[Chris Cody]

Me too.

[Billy Gill]

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[David Sampson]

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[Stugotz]

Lebatard did you get lost on the way to Home Depot today, Dan?

[Dan Le Batard]

Like what?

[Stugotz]

What's going on with the platform? You look like you're about to ask me to like check the oil on my car or like come over and like look around and point things in my house that need to be fixed.

[Mike Ryan]

This is the Dan Levatar show with the Stugats. We have missed her. This delightful fountain of football information. Mina Kimes is back with us. Before we get to her and rushing through all the football information we can give you, I want to congratulate Adam and Jess as our Miller Light winners of our contest. Adam and Jess, come on in here. You can stand in the back of the room awkwardly during the segment. You can be applauded by Mina Kimes here. You can just come out here. Congratulations. Put them in the back of the room, get them to sit in or stand in the shipping container. Let's have them be a part of what it is that we're doing here, however awkwardly. That is because we are always grateful for our best customers. Yeah, it doesn't seem like they want to be with us. I think it's just the general hygiene of Chris Cody. I'm not totally sure David Sampson didn't want to be touched by him. You can make all the faces you want, Jeremy. David Sampson did not want to be touched by him.

[Mina Kimes]

So David Sampson.

[Mike Ryan]

I know, but I'm just telling you that it may be that Adam and Jess don't want to be that close to Chris Cody. Mina Kimes is a really great source of football Information in her podcast, which actually stars her dog Lenny, is something you should be listening to.

[Chris Cody]

I do have a question for Mina that's not football related. Mina, can you leave food unattended in your house, or does your dog devour? Because right now we have lunch out there and I grabbed a quick bite and I was going to leave the rest until after we talk to you, but then Jess's dog is around, and I didn't trust my food to sit out on a table without just his dog dog attacking it. So I wondered if Lenny's the same way. Does he just attack any food indiscriminately if it's left out?

[Stugotz]

Yeah. He's the same way. We have to put. If I have any food, not even, like, unpackaged food, packaged food, it has to be on a counter high enough for him to not get to. We have had some disasters in the past. Gifts of chocolate left on credenzas, emergency trips to the veterinarian because of his absolutely insatiable appetite.

[Dan Le Batard]

Have you ever taken Lenny to get his picture with Santa Claus?

[Stugotz]

We did, yeah. I wanted, obviously before I had a child, an actual child. I think it was about five years ago in New York. I have the picture somewhere if you guys want to see it.

[Dan Le Batard]

I do want to see it, but I had a bit of a. Bit of an incident. Willow and I went to get her picture taken with Santa a few weeks ago. And no, Willow did not buy. I went on the website to look at the photo after it had been uploaded, and I scrolled through about 200 pictures of a man dressed up as Santa holding people's pets. While you could clearly see the outline of his balls in every single picture. The man or the pets, the man's balls were front and center. I think the photographer was crotch height for all of these pictures. And as I scrolled through, all I could see was this man's ball sack inside his red pants.

[Stugotz]

Now I want to see it. I will show it to you.

[Dan Le Batard]

I don't want to put it on screen. Dan's been, like, begging me. He's like, please send it to the video team. I'm like, I feel bad because this man's identity will be revealed if that happens.

[Chris Cody]

It's like thumbprints.

[Dan Le Batard]

It's balls. It is balls.

[Mike Ryan]

I didn't think. I've got to be honest. Put it on the poll here. Did you think that Santa. Santa had ball? Because I really thought he was without genitalia.

[Chris Cody]

I thought. Mrs. Claus.

[Jessica]

Claus?

[Chris Cody]

Yeah.

[Jessica]

What are we doing?

[Mina Kimes]

Mrs. Claus?

[Mike Ryan]

I know, but I thought of him as more of like a doll. I don't think of him as having genitalia. Certainly not genitalia that would be imprinted by tight pants.

[Mina Kimes]

You don't think he has jingle bells?

[Tony]

Let me take this picture for a walk.

[David Sampson]

Go.

[Mike Ryan]

Man.

[Amin Elhassan]

That's nuts.

[Stugotz]

Wait, so Dan, are you like thinking of Santa like he's like the Pope? Not that the Pope doesn't have him, but is there like a vow of chastity involved in being Santa Claus? Because Santa of. They don't have kids, right? The elves aren't their actual children.

[Mike Ryan]

I don't think of Santa and Mrs. Claus ever having sex. I don't think of him as a sexual or sensual being of any kind. I also don't think of him as a bathroom user in any way. So I don't know. I don't know about the rest of you, but I legitimately, before this moment, had never thought about the genitalia of Santa. It's the first time I've ever done that.

[Chris Cody]

You've got Santa eating milk and cookies, every single household and never having to go, he's got like a colostomy bag or something.

[Mike Ryan]

Look, if he can make it around the world and give every child a toy, certainly he has some sort of tricks up his sleeves about how it is that he does or doesn't use his genitalia. Like, if he's able to do the original magic act, how much further am I willing to suspend disbelief on all the things that he can do that are not human or are superhuman?

[Jessica]

So we've seen the pictures of Jess's Santa. It's not a traditional Santa. It's a Miami fied Santa wearing shorts. He's wearing shorts and he's wearing like a Hawaiian shirt kind of thing. So it's not the full Santa Claus skull.

[Tony]

We sent it to Mina. Let's get her reaction.

[Stugotz]

Are you guys sharing these or no. With the number, would you like me to graphically describe what I describe it?

[Dan Le Batard]

I feel bad for this guy cuz he probably got the link too and looked at it and was like a Jesus Christ.

[Stugotz]

It looks kind of like the Chris Jones combine. The famous Chris Jones. You guys remember that moment? God, I look. Looks like he's got a whole thing of mistletoe stuffed in there. I mean, we are talking smuggling grapes. God. Yeah.

[Mike Ryan]

Wait a minute. You have not described it. It's just God. Jesus.

[Jessica]

Oh, no, I got it.

[Mike Ryan]

You said you were going to describe it. You're a writer. We don't have the Video of this. And here you are telling us that you're going to describe it. So you got to give us the description now.

[Stugotz]

All right. Well, it's a very clearly skimpy tight pair of red shorts that this man is wearing. And. And what you are seeing looks like someone literally took like a thing of Jingle Bells and just put them behind some red cloth.

[Chris Cody]

Yes.

[Stugotz]

About the size of two limes, maybe. Just trying to be here for the audience.

[Mike Ryan]

Thank you. No, this is exactly what's wild about.

[Stugotz]

This, though, Jess, is like, this is every photo. Like, there's no photo in. No pet parent received a photo or actual parent parent that doesn't have this. Based on the image I'm seeing, it's not just like he was in the wrong position at the wrong time for your dog. This man looks like he's leaning in an entire day of people's lives.

[Mike Ryan]

Nina.

[Dan Le Batard]

Every single picture had this man's balls in it. Except for willows.

[Chris Cody]

Oh, really?

[Dan Le Batard]

Willows. For some reason, the photographer shot it upwards and cropped out his lower half so her picture actually turned out really nice. No balls in her picture. Every other photographer picture ball, not.

[Stugotz]

Not, like, intervene at some point.

[Dan Le Batard]

I don't know. I. I wish someone had. I. I wish I could go back in time and be like, his balls.

[Chris Cody]

The photographer didn't have any balls.

[Mina Kimes]

What.

[Mike Ryan]

What kind of limes are we talking about? Because limes. Limes vary in size. And the kind that you cut in.

[Stugotz]

Half to, like, salt. You know, like when you're making like a margarita and you're just squeezing a little bit of lime for the list. Not, like fully mature. I can't believe I'm describing this in such vivid detail. Lime might have been, you know, like the little ones, the cheap ones, kind of hard at the grocery store that come in a bag for the listening audience. Not like Florida fancy limes. I guess that is a distinction for.

[Chris Cody]

You guys locally, for the listening audience. Everything that Mina is saying right now is all while she's staring at her phone. She's just staring at the phone, hasn't.

[Mike Ryan]

Taken her eyes off of them. And I love the description, it really is delightful of not mature limes. Because now you've opened up a bunch of questions that I have about everything that's happening here. And your face opens up even more because you are studying these limes the way that I imagine a scared SAT student would take a test on a question that he or she does not understand. You are really investigating the not mature limes.

[Stugotz]

I just care about your Audio audience. You know, I'm not. I'm not just here for YouTube. I'm not just here to make funny faces in me. I want to make sure they get a full visual picture of what we are all living, looking at. And it is very graphic.

[Chris Cody]

There is comedic brilliance, Mina, in the way you held your phone up and then turned it into portrait mode to see it from a different angle. It was so damn funny.

[Dan Le Batard]

If I may, I think it may be a ball and a penis and not two balls. I think it's a ball, Jess.

[Tony]

Let me see again.

[Mike Ryan]

I'm gonna look at it now too. Jessica sent it to me. Mina, what do you think of Jessica's accusation there? That is not two limes. Indeed it is one lime and a hot dog.

[Stugotz]

I could see that. Yeah, I could see that with the positioning of it and the slight difference in shape of the two lumps.

[Mike Ryan]

Oh, wait a minute. Yeah, wait a minute. That's the head of a penis there. That is absolutely the head of a penis.

[Mina Kimes]

Clearly cut.

[Mike Ryan]

I mean, that.

[Chris Cody]

That is.

[Mike Ryan]

That is too. That is two balls in a Luther head. That is the ball brothers and their father.

[Stugotz]

When you texted me, let's talk about Santa balls, I really didn't think. I thought it was going to be like a football based Christmas thing.

[Mike Ryan]

I got to be honest. This. The fact that this is so distracting has taken away from. This is a hell of a Santa from the shoulders up like this is. I didn't even notice what a good Santa. Like this is a. This is a great Santa. I would believe in this as a Santa, but you can't go Hawaiian shirt and red shorts.

[Jessica]

It's Miami though.

[Dan Le Batard]

No, he looked great. Great hair and makeup too.

[Stugotz]

Is it. It almost looks like a real beard.

[Chris Cody]

Honestly, I think it is real.

[Stugotz]

That's crazy.

[Jessica]

This maybe Mina, really quick because I have connections around Miami, obviously. Of course, if this Santa is the Santa that I'm thinking of, this is something that he does around Christmas time and he leans into the bit. He's even got a red Tesla as his slayer identity.

[Dan Le Batard]

Tell me.

[Chris Cody]

Well, he exposed a lot.

[Mina Kimes]

Jolly old Saint Dick.

[Stugotz]

Hey, this whole thing is just so Miami. I will say though, in la, Santas are amazing because there's so many actors in this town. It's actually like a very hot job. Right. If you happen to be an old man actor in la, Christmas time chance to make a few bucks. It's very competitive. And the Santa that we take our kid to in Glendale is. Well, he's obviously better than the Santa because he's not sexually assaulting, like, you know, visually with my eyes, but, like, he also, like, it's really, really, really hard to get a Santa job out here, I think.

[Mike Ryan]

I can't believe what a great Santa this is. And this poor guy has had the whole thing unravel on him because of what's happening below the waist. And again, I will tell you, I have never before this segment thought about what was happening below Santa's waist. I just.

[Tony]

Same.

[Mike Ryan]

I'm mortified by everything that is just.

[Dan Le Batard]

That's actually shocking, considering we know dressing up is one of your kinks.

[Mike Ryan]

Put it on the poll, please. At lebatard show. Have you ever thought of what is happening below Santa's waist? Yes or no?

[Stugotz]

I'm just so relieved that this has happened after Halloween so we don't have to see Dan try to replicate this photo.

[Mike Ryan]

Let's go ahead and speed up the music so we can get as much football information out of this woman as we possibly can. She has spent 10 minutes just staring at balls at jolly old St. Dick. Ravens, Steelers. Mina, what do you got?

[Stugotz]

Like, what happened or just what did.

[Mike Ryan]

You find interesting about it?

[Stugotz]

Yeah, I. I mean, I. I thought. I think the Steelers defense, the way that they handled Lamar, the way they played him, the way that they coordinated their rush to prevent him from escaping the pocket and their coverage downfield, frankly, he was like one for six on plays that he extended, which is very unusual for Lamar Jackson. And to me, that speaks to how well they married the rush in their coverage and just how sticky that coverage was on the back end.

[Jessica]

Mina, on Tony's top five this week, I proclaim that the window for The San Francisco 49ers is closed. Do you agree with me?

[Stugotz]

I think you might be right. In part because of the Detroit Lions ascendance. Because if the Lions weren't where they were, I would say that the Niners are still in this because there's. After the Lions, I think it's. It's pretty equal. I would put the Eagles obviously above them, but yeah, the line right now, I don't see this Niners team competing with this Lions team. And then the other thing you're just seeing, I mean, we were asked what's wrong with the Niners? Are we all ma. Kyle Shanahan stink? This is attrition, guys. This team has made it so far in the playoffs every year they have lost talent. It's very hard to stay dominant in the NFL like that year after year after year. If you go that far in the.

[Chris Cody]

Postseason, Mina, how's it feel to become a Simpsons character?

[Stugotz]

It's exciting. I haven't seen the final version yet, but you guys know I'm a Lisa Stan, so it's. It's pretty exciting for me. I love the Simpsons, so I. I've actually gone back and, like, revisited some of the old episodes, and they really hold up.

[Mike Ryan]

What are the memorable details from being a part of that experience?

[Stugotz]

It hasn't happened yet. It's December 9th, so get. Yeah, check it out. It's. It's. Sorry.

[Mike Ryan]

No, I didn't. I just. I thought that those things were done before they aired.

[Stugotz]

No, no, no. They prepared a lot of stuff before the Simpsons team or whatnot. But it's. It's Bengals Cowboys, which I actually think is great for us because I feel like, you know, it's like a game that, shall we say, people might be seeking additional entertainment. So, yeah, I'm excited.

[Mike Ryan]

The Chiefs are the blank best team in football.

[Stugotz]

Not.

[Mike Ryan]

Whoa. I was. I was looking for a number. I was looking for how many teams you put ahead of the team that has, you know, ostensibly the best record in the league.

[Stugotz]

Second, I know they just lost to the Bills, and I think right now the Chiefs, the Bills and the Ravens are probably about on the same tier for me in the afc, But I also think the Chiefs will probably be better in the postseason as they than they were in the regular season, as they have so often been in recent years.

[Dan Le Batard]

Mina, I'm also going on Dominique's podcast later today. Can you give me something smart to say about the Ravens Charger game on Monday night?

[Stugotz]

Yeah. So I think one thing I find fascinating about the Chargers is there's this impression that they're this, like, run first team, and they're really good at pounding the Brock and Greg Romans, your offensive coordinator, when actually the opposite is true. They're not very good at running the football, and they've become very pass heavy. Greg Roman has, like, let Justin Herbert cook, and I think it's going to be a difficult matchup for this Ravens pass defense.

[Jessica]

Mina, make a case for the Green Bay packers to win the Super Bowl.

[Stugotz]

I think they have a ceiling that makes it possible because Jordan love when he can make every throw. He can make incredible plays. The problem is he has struggled a bit against the blitz and the turnovers, but when that offense is clicking, they're as good as any in football. And I think the quarterback we saw really heat up in the second half of last year. So it's entirely possible we might see the same Thing this year.

[Chris Cody]

Mina, when's the last time you went to the bench bank, like a physical bank? Physical bank. Walked into the bank, filled out a slip, handed to the teller.

[Stugotz]

It's been years. God, maybe like six years ago.

[Mike Ryan]

Your thoughts on the giants?

[Stugotz]

Tommy DeVito, I guess is, you know, it feel. I mean, obviously they're doing it because they don't want to trigger Daniel Jones's injury. Guaranteed. It's not a particularly appeal. I mean, it when we're going to look at all the jobs and I'm assuming Brian Dabel speed it up is like, oh, I think what the Giants, I don't know. Well, they had a big, an excellent Santa Claus.

[Mike Ryan]

They had a big news week. What do you think of what happened with the Jets? Newsweek.

[Stugotz]

Is Brian Dabel the coach who would be the best fake Santa Claus in the NFL?

[Mike Ryan]

Andy Reid?

[Stugotz]

Kind of think so.

[Mike Ryan]

Andy Reid.

[Stugotz]

Oh, yeah.

[Chris Cody]

Mina, when's the last time you Irish. Goodbye.

[Stugotz]

I'm about to do it on this show. Honestly, I'm thinking about it. Giants questions? I do it all the time. I do it all the time.

[Jessica]

Is B Nick turn the corner?

[Stugotz]

Yeah, I think he's played well. I also think that the infrastructure in Denver is fantastic. That's a really good offensive line. Sean Payton is calling a hell of an offense right now, but Nick himself is playing better and I think it's all working.

[Mina Kimes]

Are the Texans very, very far from being a top tier team in the NFL?

[Stugotz]

No, they're not very far. The offensive line has just been such a nightmare for them. But the defense is still really, really good and I still believe in the quarterback.

[Chris Cody]

Which team should hire Bill Belichick?

[Stugotz]

I guess the Jags, maybe they need like a total culture revamp. My concern is I saw a report that he wants to stick with Trent Balking, which I think would be a huge mistake. If that's true.

[Mike Ryan]

Your thoughts on the jets week?

[Stugotz]

I mean, speed it up.

[Mike Ryan]

Speed it up.

[Stugotz]

Yeah, I just, I'm trying to think of something to say. Like I. This organization is a circus. This entire fire. It's been the case all season. I don't know what learning about the owner being somewhat of a meddler changes any of that. It certainly doesn't absolve the GM or Aaron Rodgers, the, you know, whatever. So, yeah, I guess I. It's obviously a poorly run organization, but I don't think it's all entirely on Woody Johnson. I think a lot of people bear responsibility.

[Mike Ryan]

How common do you think it is for an NFL owner to be that kind of meddlesome, more common than you think the majority of them are or aren't.

[Stugotz]

No, but a lot of them I think are more involved than people think and have, you know, I mean, so the biggest, the biggest nugget that people are kind of focus on, and it is crazy, is that Woody Johnson suggested that Aaron Rodgers be benched and people were shocked. Well, Aaron Rodgers was not benched, so that suggests there's a limit to his meddling there. And I think, I believe that owners offer more crazy suggestions all the time that aren't taken into account.

[Mina Kimes]

Metal Armed Is Denzel Washington A top 10 actor of all time?

[Stugotz]

Yeah.

[Mike Ryan]

Mina, thank you for the time. We always appreciate it. We will talk to you soon, I hope. Nice seeing you. Is she going to do the Irish Goodbye?

[Chris Cody]

Very poorly, I might add.

[Mike Ryan]

May your life. Yep, she just did the Irish Goodbye. May your life be filled with staring at Santa's balls.

[Amin Elhassan]

Howdy loyal listeners. It's Mike Ryan and we're getting pretty close to wishing folks happy holidays. I'm sure many of you are already in the planning stages of opening up your homes and hosting holiday gift togethers.

[Mike Ryan]

That can be stressful.

[Amin Elhassan]

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