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Dan Le Batard
Now's a good time to remember where tequila's story truly began. In 1795, Cuervo invented tequila.
Stugats
Cuervo.
Dan Le Batard
What are you doing here?
Mike
Cuervo? Anytime someone says Cuervo, I show up.
Dan Le Batard
Well, I do know that to be true. But even during ad reads like Cuervo, I think he could lay out especially for one of our great partners.
Mike
Sweet, delicious Cuervo.
Dan Le Batard
Since then, Cuervo has stayed true to its roots. The same family, the same land, the same passion.
Stugats
Cuervo.
Dan Le Batard
So enjoy the tequila that started it all. Cuervo.
Stugats
Cuervo.
Dan Le Batard
The tequila that invented tequila. Proximo. Cuervo.com Please drink responsibly.
Stugats
Cuervo.
Tony
This is the Dan Levatar show with the Stugats podcast.
Mike
The University of Miami can beat you more ways than any team in college football. They are the best team in college football is all. You can't play with them. They can beat you with big plays now. They can beat you with defense. They're not going to do all of the dumb things. They are the balanced thing that doesn't exist in a sport that's gone true. Parody.
Dan Le Batard
Miami looks like they can beat anyone in the nation.
Mike
It's the most complete one I've seen since the 2001 one. Just complete more ways to beat you.
Dan Le Batard
Miami's got to stay healthy. But the neutral field this year in the national title game is in Miami.
Mike
It's fixed. It's like, have no question that when Castellanos is being pressured 31 times and Beck is being pressured six, it's fixed.
Dan Le Batard
He was brought here to win national championships. You know who said that? Mario Cristobal. You know who says that privately? Mario Cristobal. So when the standard's a national championship.
Stugats
You can't be going around saying five and, oh, everything's fixed.
Dan Le Batard
I think you can say the major problems facing this program are fixed.
Mike's colleague or guest
It's not just, hey, finish in the.
Stugats
Top four and you have to win one game and you're in the championship anymore.
Dan Le Batard
I think we're aware of what the standard is.
Tony
Okay.
Dan Le Batard
Looks like they can beat anyone in the nation.
Another guest or co-host
I can say nothing bad about this team right now.
Mike
This was not Rick's football team that got into the top five. I doubted that team all season long. I never thought that team had the best players.
Tony
What is this that you guys are talking about?
Another guest or co-host
Louis Vuilla and Louisville?
Dan Le Batard
This.
Tony
And they're not gonna beat the K.
Another guest or co-host
The K's are gonna beat the shit.
Tony
Out of this team today. I'm telling you that right now.
Mike's colleague or guest
We spent seven minutes on this show yesterday talking about Mario Cristobal's confidence in the way that he's walk. I mean, are you.
Stugats
Did you not hear him interviewed?
Mike
The way that he is presently carrying himself in interviews is as a man who is really confident in the players that he has.
Tony
He was really kind to me. He gave me a lot of time over the weekend as well for espn and he obviously it has a lot to do with the current state of the program. I mean, he was. He was really nice and really forthcoming with me.
Another guest or co-host
Mario is so confident in his team right now, he can't even convey publicly what he thinks of his team. It's one of those situations where he has to be careful what he says publicly because I just think he's supremely confident.
Dan Le Batard
I think Mario Cristobal has shown over the last three years, if there's a problem, he'll solve it. Check out the hook while his DJ revolves it. Like Mario Cristobal isn't going to shut you the hell up until he wins.
Mike
That is correct.
Stugats
That is correct.
Dan Le Batard
That's cool. But I would say that yesterday's college football talk as it pertains to the Miami Hurricane. So it's just, you know, an embarrassment. But I don't go to you or Jeremy for ball. That's not what I do.
Stugats
Okay.
Dan Le Batard
I don't. You embarrass yourself. Well, it was terrible.
Mike
Yes, but you're.
Dan Le Batard
I, I got reached out to by a dozen people.
Mike's colleague or guest
I was told last week that Carson Beck is better than Cam Ward potentially. And I have not seen anything like that.
Another guest or co-host
I don't think anybody told me.
Mike's colleague or guest
I went back and listen to the show.
Dan Le Batard
Really want to get me excited. Talk about this quarterback we got right now thrilled. It better fall camp.
Mike
All right, so wait a minute. So you're doing Carson Beck. You are now going to do.
Tony
I just said better fall camp than Cam.
Mike
Okay, wait a minute.
Dan Le Batard
Yes, hold on. Oh, wait. This is where the guy that didn't go to fall camp either here tells me that I'm wrong. Maybe we should apply the context of it raining down here for a month straight when we have conversations about Carson Beck. I also think contextually there's been a monsoon at Hard Rock Stadium for a month straight. And that also plays into these rivalry games that are also naturally tighter. I think he's going to really reshape the opinion of him a little bit. Again, it's not going to look like Cam Ward and it can't for Miami to actually win big time football it can't look like that.
Mike
The one that makes me know that Miami is good is the win over South Florida, because I know South Florida is good. If I put it in an Auburn uniform, you guys would be saying. If I put it in an Alabama uniform, you guys would be saying, that's a top 10 team.
Dan Le Batard
I think, overall, it was just a great weekend for the University of Miami. Shout out to that athletics department. Joe Echeverria, the president. Kim Gorby, the Sid.
Stugats
I think it's clear whose fault this all is. It's Dan's fault. Of all the sounds, Dan is the most egregious by far. Oh, my God.
Mike's colleague or guest
As I was going through that, it's fixed.
Stugats
Mike. Mike, you ought to be upset with Dan first and foremost. Come on, man.
Tony
Why did it matter? Why did it matter that Mario Criswell was nice to me?
Another guest or co-host
No, it was important context.
Stugats
They threw you under the bus.
Dan Le Batard
You could do this any year over the last 20 years. But I think what's different this year is that's just our show. If you sampled the entire world of college football, they had everybody fooled this year, and it's a. It's a huge shame. I. I don't think we're going to get to have the conversations that we had last year about resume and whatnot, because I think they're probably going to lose another game. I think that's the big takeaway. Here is the teams. You have a bigger issue now, which is last three years, there's a pattern. Teams lock into your tendencies. You got nothing for them, and your team kind of goes into a hole. That can't be happening four years. Like, it's easy year one and year two to blame it on the Manny guys, the Manny recruits. Manny seems to be doing just fine at Duke. SMU has taken a lot of former Manny guys and done a lot of winning in this conference. Hell, they barely do any losing. They've lost one game.
Tony
So I keep seeing, like, the. The comparison to Manny Diaz's ACC record versus Mario Criswold's ACC record. Why. Why do I give a shit about that? Manny Diaz was the coach here. He was awful. Why do I care what Manny. Like, Manny Diaz had an opportunity here. He was terrible. So why do I care about his record?
Dan Le Batard
Manny Diaz wasn't the answer. Mario Crucible has elevated the floor. Now. Your problem is you just can't get over the hump. You can't. You can't get to Charlotte. Like before, we were talking about 7 win football teams, 6 win football teams like it, it's definitely changed. But the frustrating part is the intangible stuff and their inability to respond to it. It's going to be a huge week for them. I know they're favored by 28 and a half against Syracuse. That is a program that's had a really difficult year following the injury to Angeli. Can this team rattle off four in a row to give you a food for thought? Last year they were told, hey, no playoffs for you because you have zero ranked wins and your defense is trash. This year, potentially, depending on what happens with Pittsburgh, they could have four ranked wins and the defense, that's very good, and a signature win over potentially one to two playoff teams, depending on what happens in the aac. So I do like their hand. For me, the biggest issue is I don't think this team can run the table in November. If they do, I think a month from now, we'd feel pretty strongly that they have one of the stronger cases when it comes to the cfp. But do they get past NC State? I mean, you know, like, they, they play teams well.
Another guest or co-host
Mike, when you talk about, you know, Crystal being a floor raiser and that he just can't get over the hump. How many coaches are there in college football that are. That coach that can get you over the hump, it feels like there's less than a handful of them.
Tony
It's tough.
Dan Le Batard
It's a tough sport. It's like baseball, only you multiply the teams by three. Everyone's got. There's one team that gets to win. Look at the Jim Harbaugh experience in Michigan year after year. Couldn't get over the hump. Couldn't get over the hump. Gets lucky with a missed field goal. That was right.
Stugats
Right.
Dan Le Batard
Look, what were they saying about Ryan Day last year?
Tony
When he loses, they don't win the national championship.
Dan Le Batard
Probably. Probably gone. Maybe a mutual parting of ways. Mario Cristobal has to win that game. He did so in Oregon. He won the. He won a PAC 12 championship and he won a Rose Bowl. But there's rightfully a narrative that follows him. The only way to correct that narrative is to win. And for whatever reason, a mental thing happens where this team just kind of folds under pressure once teams lock into what they're doing. And so let me, let me start at the top a little bit.
Tony
Let me ask you something here in regards to Notre Dame. So Notre Dame right Now is ranked 10th, all right? If Notre Dame keeps winning and they win their final 10 games of the season, they're Going to be a playoff team and then that winds up making Miami look good, that, hey, best win on their resume is that one. But so you could say, hey, it's a good thing for Miami if they went out there, but is it a good thing for Miami if they went out there because they're going to be one of those top 11 spots when maybe you kind of need Notre Dame to lose to open up one of those top 11 spots. And I say top 11 because you know, the ACC winner is not going to be ranked in the top 12. So they're going to wind up taking one of those spots, essentially. And you know what, depending on what happens with BYU and the Big 12 winner may not be in the top 12. So they may take one of those spots.
Dan Le Batard
Also, huge game between BYU and Texas Tech. I'd like to entertain all these conversations. I think the best thing that that can happen for Miami in terms of that conversation is to have Notre Dame keep winning.
Tony
Really?
Stugats
Okay.
Dan Le Batard
Yeah. Because the head to head matchup has to matter. It has to matter. I don't care that it happened first week of the season they played. You saw which team was better when they played. But Miami's got to keep winning.
Stugats
Right.
Dan Le Batard
And right now I think the biggest problem is no one really thinks Miami can go 4 and oh in the next month. No one. No one. Because of how they lost SMU, because of how they met adversity. So if that's why it's a bigger conversation than even the cfp, I don't care if you ford out a couple of wins here or there. I got to see a change in approach. I got to see a team respond. I got to see guys that have been committing penalties every game suffer the consequences. I gotta see them turn it around. It's a ridiculous conversation to be having. I would feel good about it down the line, but beat Syracuse, this team can quit. Beat NC State. Do we have faith that they can? I don't.
Stugats
This is going to make such a great part of the montage when they win the national championship this year.
Dan Le Batard
It's going to be hilarious in January 19th.
Another guest or co-host
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Dan Le Batard
Oh, the football season. Cruel beast. Sometimes it gives. Sometimes it rips away. Sometimes you got good times, sometimes you got bad times. But one thing that'll always lift your spirit is making it Miller Time. Because game day just hits different with Miller Lite in your hand. 50 years of great taste, simple ingredients, and that iconic golden color that you can spot from across the room. It's a real eye catcher, folks. And here's the kicker. Just 96 calories, 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces. The original light beer since 1975 and still hitting different five decades later. So whatever your game day looks like, remember Miller Time is always a good time. Miller Lite great taste. 96 calories. Go to millerlight.com dan to find delivery options near you. Or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. It's Miller time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Co. Milwaukee, Wisconsin 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.
Tony
Don LeBatard and then Matt Stafford threw.
Another guest or co-host
Him 25 and 2. Oh, there's a brand new kid in town out of BYU Stugats. They call him Puka. His quarterback is not named Tua. Yeah, he is Puka.
Tony
This is the Dan Levatar show with the Stugats.
Mike
Foreign.
Another guest or co-host
Being something big later On. I know there's a couple teams that have. What if there's. Is there a possibility for Louisville and SMU to both meet in the ACC championship game if things up top get a little screwy and then Miami has a loss to one of the ACC champion or the runner up.
Dan Le Batard
Again, stupid conversations.
Tony
Screwed.
Dan Le Batard
They gotta play. Louisville just had a big time injury to Brown. You gotta be. It starts with beating Syracuse and then we can have those conversations down the line. But right now it's stupid talk.
Tony
Stupid talk, stupid talk.
Mike's colleague or guest
There are three ACC teams ahead of both Louisville and smu.
Another guest or co-host
Yeah, but things can happen.
Mike's colleague or guest
Yeah, things can get screwy. I just wonder when we start having a conversation because you know the big time programs, when coaches are constantly underachieving start to have buyout talk and I just wonder.
Stugats
It's so obvious when you're trolling like.
Mike's colleague or guest
The first word you say.
Stugats
Give me the Weekend Observations intro.
Tony
It is time for. I mean, to share his game notes. No one in the media will tell you what happened better than my boy.
Dan Le Batard
I mean.
Stugats
Weekend Observations is presented by Miller Light Zaz. He was labeled a bust. Caught mono as a rookie. He had a nice little stint in Minnesota. But Last night, after four TDs in the first half, Sam Darnold, make no mistake, has entered the MVP conversation bar and ordered bottle service.
Another guest or co-host
You have an NFL one?
Stugats
Of course. Come on man, we franchising.
Another guest or co-host
I thought you franchise.
Stugats
You know how this works, guys. In the. In the MVP conversation bar. That means he's in the MVP conversation. But if he's really doing stuff like. Oh, not just in the conversation like dominant conversation, he's got bottle service.
Tony
They murdered Washington last night.
Stugats
Oh yeah. Big day for kickers. Ryan Fitzgerald lifted the Panthers over the packers with a game winner. Parker Romo missed an extra point, dropping the Falcons to the Patriots. Will Lutz squeaked the Broncos past the Texans with a 34 yarder. And Cam Little set a record with a 68 yard field goal. Only the only thing bigger than the day for kickers is the balls on Liam Cohen after Cam Little missed three kicks in the last two games, including a point after a little. Pat Cohen trusted Little to kick a 68 yarder. You know what that is? Balls. Guy can't even get the extra point. You're going to say, oh yeah, 68 yards. You got that one.
Tony
Made a 68 yarder yesterday.
Stugats
Yeah. New record.
Another guest or co-host
I thought you saw everything.
Tony
I. I did see everything. They got it. They gotta shorten these goal posts. I'm sorry, man, we can't have 68 yard field, by the way.
Another guest or co-host
You saw Landman? What you know about Landman?
Tony
Yo. Okay, here's the thing. Do you think that I am against being able to punch the ball out?
Another guest or co-host
I do.
Tony
No, I'm not against that at all.
Stugats
Sounds like you are.
Tony
What I am against is if you miss, you can't just go around punching guys.
Stugats
Thought it was a contact sport.
Another guest or co-host
Lamb and O miss.
Stugats
Steve Spagnolo needs to learn how to cover his mouth with the play call sheet. Every time they showed him, he's covering it like this. All right, guys, 25. I'm like, no, you've got to do it up here. Up here, we all can read all the words that you're saying out your mouth. What does a bay leaf taste like? Would I be able to taste its absence? I watch a lot of these Instagram cooking videos and they put a bay leaf in it and I'm like, just.
Another guest or co-host
One singular bay leaf taste.
Stugats
If it didn't have a bay leaf, would I be like, it's missing something? I like a bay leaf. Bay leaf.
Dan Le Batard
It's a strong flavor.
Stugats
Is it?
Dan Le Batard
Yes.
Stugats
What does it taste like?
Dan Le Batard
Tea.
Stugats
Okay. I've never tasted tea in my food. Stephen A. Smith on the firing of Dolphins GM Chris Greer. Quote, this is bs. That's the first fire.
Tony
Really?
Stugats
That's what we're doing. It was about Tua. It was about Mike McDaniel. And the brother gets fired first. Stephen A. Smith, the stugach is strong in you. Cause the brother, the other brother didn't get fired. So Tucker Kraft expected to miss time with a knee injury. I guess you could say the packers production will have to continue without craft services. It's a showbiz joke, kids. Spurs finally lost the game, courtesy of Saturday night in Old Town Scottsdale. Sunday brunch scene ain't bad either. If it's one thing Halloween taught me is that a lot of people don't like being in on a joke sometimes. The beauty of a joke is not in making the whole room laugh. Rather, it's in making a few people laugh and have the rest of the room wondering what's so damn funny.
Another guest or co-host
Eloquently put by you, by the way.
Stugats
Thank you.
Another guest or co-host
I saw you put that on Twitter.
Stugats
I was like, you know what this is gonna make it to Weekend Observations.
Dan Le Batard
I mean, few people are as entertaining on mute as Michael Irvin.
Stugats
Oh, yeah, he's great. Matter of fact, everyone mute. First take. Watch it while you listen to me. Pablo Torre played spades with Maury Povich and Nick Cannon. I never guessed Pablo would know how to play spades.
Tony
Maury Povich.
Stugats
Yeah. I never get Maury voters to play spades either. But if you had to ask me, Maury or Pablo, which one knows how to play spades? I'm picking Maury.
Dan Le Batard
Yeah.
Stugats
Top five things I never guess Pablo could do. Oli, play spades. Number five, not say something without sounding like he's fighting back laughter. Number four, not have other journalists mad about his reporting, but also want to be on his show. Number three, not dress like Mr. Rogers. He actually has a closet where he has weird.
Another guest or co-host
Like, every time I see him, he's in a cardigan.
Stugats
I'm like, dude, he's got a closet in the New York studio. Just cardigans. He comes in and he changes into it like he's Mr. Rogers. Number two, not start a conversation tangent without having the appropriate receipts to back up what he's talking about. Folks, he ain't just talking. There's a reason why he says it's things he says. And the number one thing I never could guess Pablo could do. Withhold the name of his alma mater.
Another guest or co-host
How's Pablo's jumper?
Stugats
I don't know.
Another guest or co-host
Got a good jumper. Decent jumper.
Stugats
Never played with Papa.
Another guest or co-host
We need to see Pablo's jumper.
Mike's colleague or guest
Let's find out.
Stugats
Can't be great. Sh is starting to crack. Guys see this first during the post game conversation. He's nodding his head vigorously during the question before the translation has happened. They're like, hey, talk about the job that someone. And he's like, oh, yeah. I'm like, wait a second. Then as he's going out, he says, thank you, guys. So smooth. I thought Billy Dee Williams did the voiceover. All right, thanks, guys. I was like, what? This guy doesn't speak English.
Tony
Definitely speaks English. He's cracking better than me.
Mike's colleague or guest
100%.
Stugats
He's cracking. He can't keep. He can't keep this up.
Mike's colleague or guest
I mean, it's funny with Shohei versus other players, like, of Latin origin, because with them, we never really seem to care if they keep a translator the entire time. But with Shohei, we're mad that he speaks English.
Stugats
I'm gonna tell you why. Because when the Latin players speak English, it sounds like, oh, yeah, your English isn't that strong. This guy Zach says, sounds better than a broadcaster. All right, thanks, guys. I'm like, what?
Dan Le Batard
Aight.
Stugats
When did he learn? Aight.
Another guest or co-host
There's a reason why there's certain somebody in prison.
Stugats
TK Hernandez should have to give up his World Series share to Andy Pajes and name his next two children Andy and Pajes. Got that straight from the pages. Missed connection. You're the waitress with the piercing blue eyes. I was the guy who wrote don't smoke in bed under the tip at one point. Hornets vs. Jazz had nine white players on the court.
Another guest or co-host
Whoa.
Stugats
Or as complicated Joe Zagaki might say. A great start.
Dan Le Batard
Let me tell you about conuple Tua.
Stugats
Blame crowd noise for the number of penalties on offense. Saying quote with the Ravens fans, it maybe got a little muffled with Mike cadence and the crowd noise. And Sarah Michelle Geller was a book report with raw chicken. You're gonna kill somebody. Unquote. Flacco. 470 yards, 4 TDs, 2 ints and a sport sprained throwing shoulder. Gutsy. No one should be rooting more for LeBron to sit than Austin Reaves. He's making money. Tell the truth. You all thought Mahomes was gonna do it again after the Bills missed a field goal after the game, Mahomes said, you can only learn from so many losses. You gotta learn from it fast. That's a great quote.
Tony
Bills always win the regular season games against them.
Stugats
Or as TUA would say, you can only learn from so many fresh. It's our turn. Gator boots with the pumped up kicks. You better run, Forrest.
Dan Le Batard
Run.
Stugats
French toast, please. End quote. It's a CTE joke, guys. Diana Rossini telling us Davis Mills was not on the block. Followed by CJ Stroud, concussion forcing Davis Mills into the game. Diana Rossini. I've got my third eye open. Football Illuminati coming soon.
Dan Le Batard
We all had the same reaction when she said, they're. They're not answering those calls for Davis Mills.
Tony
We're like, really?
Dan Le Batard
And then for Davis Mills.
Stugats
And then that next game, he's out.
Dan Le Batard
There and you are still asking.
Tony
Really?
Dan Le Batard
We're not answering calls for him.
Stugats
Cinefobe Last week, Rambo First Blood Part 2, we learned that Rambo had 59 confirmed kills in the Vietnam War. Yet during the course of the movie, which takes place over the course of two days in 1985, Rambo has 74 kills, meaning in two days, he's killed more than an entire war. Moral of the story. Work on your craft, kids. It's never too late to improve.
Tony
Shall I watch Rambo?
Stugats
I think you should.
Tony
I never seen it.
Stugats
I think you'd love it.
Dan Le Batard
First Blood.
Stugats
And also First Blood Part two. Rambo.
Dan Le Batard
Yeah, that's not even more.
Stugats
And then Rambo three, which, by the way, that's my favorite Favorite famous Rambo tagline. What you choose to call hell, he calls home. Speaking of hell, Art Briles. Those are the weekend observations. An applause for that Rambo 3, man.
Tony
Yeah, good job, Don LeBatard.
Dan Le Batard
I went in the margins. I'm like, I'm like.
Another guest or co-host
You're moneyball of sex.
Dan Le Batard
I'm basically Scott Hatter.
Stugats
Stugats lot of walks, but I'm on.
Dan Le Batard
Base when it comes to sex. Other, other dudes, they can be Giambi.
Another guest or co-host
You know your role, you play.
Dan Le Batard
I know my role.
Tony
This is the Dan Levatar show with the Stugach.
Stugats
You know what Rambo3 is about? He goes to Afghanistan to fight the Soviets.
Tony
Who wins?
Stugats
Oh, come on, who wins? Rambo always wins.
Dan Le Batard
The audience.
Stugats
Oh, yeah, we owe you.
Tony
How many Rambos are there?
Stugats
Well, there were the original three and then they took a long hiatus and then Stallone brought it back with Rambo. Just the self titled Rambo and then Rambo Last Blood. And if you remember, Stu Guts made a big deal about.
Dan Le Batard
Was that a border town one?
Stugats
Yes, that one is, as has been relayed to me, very problematic.
Dan Le Batard
Yeah, the one before the border one, he rips out a trachea, right?
Stugats
Yeah, Yep.
Dan Le Batard
Disembowel somebody. Cut somebody in half with a machine gun, a turret gun.
Stugats
He can kill people in a lot of different ways, folks.
Tony
Now why is one of them called Rambo Last Blood?
Stugats
That's the last one that was, that happened. But Stugas famously doubted that it would be in fact the Last Blood. Because Stallone can't help himself. He's gonna make another Rambo movie one way or another.
Tony
Yeah, I gotta doubt that too, player.
Stugats
Yeah. You never seen Rambo? You strike me as a Rambo kind of guy.
Tony
No, I'm not saying I wouldn't like it. I never seen it.
Stugats
You give off Rambo. What were you doing in that 80s?
Tony
Just living my life, man.
Stugats
Oh, not watching movies.
Tony
Watching a lot of wrestling in the 80s.
Another guest or co-host
I could tell it's a golden age.
Dan Le Batard
Randy Savage Hogan.
Stugats
I saw, I saw. Somehow my algorithm, I think I blame Mike. My algorithm sometimes will send me wrestling videos. Oh yeah, it's good algorithm, but it's like, oh, the time when Booker T. And the Rock faced off for the first time.
Tony
Yeah.
Stugats
And I, I was, I, I won't lie, I was intrigued. I was like, okay, where does it go from here? Yeah, the. What is your favorite wrestling memory as a kid? Not like as a grown up like.
Dan Le Batard
Pre 18 year old ZAZ Cody Rhodes winning the championship.
Tony
I was a lot older than 18. All right.
Dan Le Batard
Two years ago. It's a joke. It's a CTE joke.
Tony
Oh, my favorite. Probably. Probably Hulk Hogan. Andre Giant. Yeah, I was six years old. WrestleMania 3, that's probably my favorite.
Stugats
What happened?
Tony
Andre Wonder. No, Hogan won. He body slammed.
Dan Le Batard
What's your favorite? O.C.
Stugats
Hold on.
Dan Le Batard
What happened there?
Stugats
It's contagious, man. How do you do this? With my favorite memories. Oh, yeah? Who won? I don't know.
Dan Le Batard
I popped. When Sting got over the hump, was that Great American Bash beat Ric Flair. He had red, white and blue surfer. Sting. That was a WCW guy.
Tony
I'm in a little bit of a pickle here.
Dan Le Batard
That was my movie theater sells pickles.
Tony
Oh, yeah? How much, man?
Dan Le Batard
$2.
Stugats
Hell of a deal.
Tony
So I'm trying, Not trying. I'm going to. I'm going to go to Cena's last match next month.
Stugats
Is it really his last match or is this the last blood?
Tony
No, it's his last match. Company Saturday night event in D.C. next month. Mike, have you seen these ticket prices?
Dan Le Batard
Yeah, they're insane.
Tony
Holy crap. I don't know what I'm going to do. Like, I've already got my flight booked. I don't think it's a show yet.
Stugats
Is it face or is it the resell? Both.
Dan Le Batard
Because what weekend is it?
Tony
December 13th.
Stugats
I've discovered this. This sound real naive of me, but I've discovered that there's like a scam happening.
Tony
What's that?
Stugats
Where the face value tickets are showing as sold out because all the bots ate them up. But coders can go in and go into the face value site and get them still at face value by just putting in some code. Oh, which means all of this is massively artificial in terms of the.
Tony
It feels like a racket, right?
Stugats
Like, this is. That's what's happening here. You're all getting scammed on these resales because it's not like, yeah, this one scalper got him and now he. No, it's all like an illusion designed to drum up business, basically and make the tickets more desirable.
Tony
I mean, it's going to be one of the hottest tickets ever for WWE for an arena show. Cheapest lower level seat. You want to guess right now? Cheapest lower level seat.
Stugats
Lower level seat.
Tony
It's in D.C. where the captain.
Stugats
It's in Washington DC.
Tony
Cena's last match.
Stugats
It's going to be John Cena's last match. You're saying it's not a last blood situation? This is really going to be his last blood?
Tony
No, definitely his last match.
Stugats
Is he going to wear jorts?
Tony
Probably, yes.
Stugats
Okay.
Dan Le Batard
You think he's going to win?
Tony
I have no idea. I'm going to go$700.500.500 is the cheapest lower level seat. And it's like at the very top of the lower level, you know, $500.
Stugats
Is there equivalent of the behind the basket seat in wrestling or is it all just a ring? Right.
Tony
No, there's not really an equivalent to that.
Dan Le Batard
No.
Stugats
You know what I discovered? I went to a boxing match a couple years ago, shout out to George Sedano, who hooked it up. And it was not ringside, but it was like two rows of a rings. It was really good seats. And what I discovered is when you're that close, the. What are they called? The ropes.
Another guest or co-host
The ropes. Yeah, Literally, the ropes.
Tony
You're having trouble thinking about what those are called.
Stugats
Yeah, cde. The oc the fun kind of, um, it obscures. I'm watching the. I'm watching the fight like. Like this the whole time because the ropes turned the goddamn way. This is terrible. You know what they should do?
Mike's colleague or guest
Clear glass.
Tony
No, they should have no ropes.
Stugats
No, you can keep the ropes. They should put the whole ring in a pit. And so now we're looking down and we all have kind of a view of it and almost like a Roman Colosseum. We're yelling and throwing shit. Look at that.
Another guest or co-host
That's.
Tony
Go sit in the upper level.
Stugats
No, no, no, no. It does.
Dan Le Batard
You can get that experience.
Stugats
No, no, no, no.
Mike's colleague or guest
That's cheap.
Stugats
I want to be ringside too. I want to hear and taste and smell all the sights and sounds.
Mike's colleague or guest
Taste.
Stugats
Yeah. You know, sometimes they hit them in it.
Dan Le Batard
You're going to have to be front row for that to work, though.
Stugats
What's up?
Dan Le Batard
You have to be front row for that.
Stugats
I know, but they're in a little pit, so I'm kind of looking over on them.
Dan Le Batard
They actually do have mixed martial arts that.
Stugats
In a pit.
Dan Le Batard
That happen in a pit. Wow.
Another guest or co-host
They also have ones that don't have cages, too.
Stugats
No cages.
Another guest or co-host
Yeah.
Dan Le Batard
They're all.
Stugats
They can just run around.
Another guest or co-host
I don't like that within a reason.
Dan Le Batard
Because I'm gonna be able to run around the entire arena. I just feel like you gotta catch them.
Stugats
Well, if that's the case, then it's not who's the best fighter now? Who's the best avoider?
Dan Le Batard
It's strategy, though. That's a real life application.
Stugats
I feel like I'd be a pretty good fighter in those Conditions.
Dan Le Batard
You gotta run away.
Stugats
I'm shifty.
Dan Le Batard
Mm.
Stugats
I can. I always have this. You ever watch movies and they're like, they're chasing people and they're going through the staircase or whatever and I'm like, dog, just get off on the floor and then go back upstairs. Everyone thinks you're going down in the same direction. Just double back.
Dan Le Batard
You haven't seen the Mike Myers challenge though.
Stugats
No. What's the Mike Myers.
Dan Le Batard
Where like someone's walking to you.
Tony
Oh, Michael Myers.
Stugats
Yeah. I thought.
Dan Le Batard
Oh, yeah, baby said.
Mike's colleague or guest
I thought you meant the former left handed reliever for the Yankees.
Dan Le Batard
So who.
Tony
Back to the original point here. Who is setting me up with tickets for John Cena's final match? That's. That's the.
Mike's colleague or guest
Maybe Sedano.
Stugats
I'm going to tell you what, man. I used to. I used to be repped by the same agency as John Cena. I got his. His agent's number. I could put in a call.
Dan Le Batard
A lot of those tickets are. But it's so expensive.
Stugats
It's gonna cost you.
Dan Le Batard
They actually reserve quite a bit of seats for those events.
Tony
Go on.
Dan Le Batard
Where they put in VIPs. So we need to elevate your profile, be one of those VIPs. But this one's gonna be a really difficult ticket because it's not a stadium show.
Tony
I know.
Dan Le Batard
And the president's probably gonna be there.
Tony
That's what I hear.
Stugats
Is he?
Tony
Yeah, apparently says he wouldn't miss it.
Stugats
What?
Mike's colleague or guest
Yeah.
Stugats
I feel like there's a lot of shit going on in the world that it kind of gotta prioritize a little bit over.
Another guest or co-host
I take off a night.
Dan Le Batard
He's at a Gatsby party two nights ago.
Stugats
He's good. Really?
Dan Le Batard
He's chilling.
Stugats
Does he dress, does he dress up?
Dan Le Batard
Who?
Stugats
Trump.
Dan Le Batard
He dresses as Trump. It was a Gatsby theme party around him.
Stugats
Oh, so he's. Oh, he's in a boat.
Another guest or co-host
Everybody goes in character. He goes in character.
Stugats
He does.
Dan Le Batard
Trump.
Stugats
This is Donald Trump. If I was in the gate, Gatsby would be. You guys look great here. Wow, look at you. They would have called it the Greater Gatsby.
Dan Le Batard
The best Gatsby.
Stugats
The best Gatsby they ever had.
Dan Le Batard
The greatest Gatsby.
Stugats
You know, they had it out in Long Island. I said it's a little too far. I don't like it. I don't like it. We'll have it at Trump Tower.
Dan Le Batard
Let's be careful. He's speaking across the.
Stugats
The inhabitant. Oh, yeah. It's tomorrow, right?
Dan Le Batard
It's tomorrow.
Stugats
How would we gonna.
Tony
Wednesday?
Stugats
It's Wednesday or Wednesday. What are you guys gonna do? Are you guys going to try to commute through this?
Dan Le Batard
I buy two tickets, probably get arrested.
Tony
I'll be front row for the first time ever. I'm taking the train here tomorrow to avoid that traffic.
Stugats
You're going to Bright Line it?
Tony
Yeah.
Stugats
Oh, wow.
Tony
Yeah. First time.
Stugats
Are you going to go premium?
Tony
I thought about it.
Stugats
No, it's unnecessary.
Tony
It's unnecessary because it's.
Mike's colleague or guest
If you're going somewhere, like on a.
Stugats
Weekend, you can have free drinks on there. Like the only. What is the benefit of that premium?
Mike's colleague or guest
You get a free coffee, free breakfast.
Tony
It's like a 15 minute ride. It seems like a waste.
Stugats
I thought it was free booze, right? Yeah, but.
Mike's colleague or guest
Yeah, but on the way.
Tony
I'm coming to work. Dog.
Stugats
Dog, you'd be working even better. Think about every idea you've ever had when you were drunk. Wasn't it so much better thought out?
Dan Le Batard
We should buy a bar.
Stugats
Absolutely.
Dan Le Batard
I'm looking forward to Tony's top five from across the street in two days.
Another guest or co-host
Should I save it? I was gonna do it tomorrow. I'll do it Wednesday.
Dan Le Batard
You can feel the energy.
Stugats
Dog. Man, are you kidding me? I think Messi's gonna be there.
Mike's colleague or guest
We're gonna be able to get in here.
Dan Le Batard
The graphic's incredible because it looks like.
Stugats
Messi's at, like, the top of it.
Dan Le Batard
Yeah. Have you seen the graphic? It looks like Donald Trump's decided to run a 443.
Stugats
No way. No way do we have that picture. Can we throw that up somewhere?
Dan Le Batard
I'll pull it up on my phone here.
Stugats
While we're pulling it up, we got to talk about what's happening with the Bengals.
Tony
Oh, my God.
Stugats
I've never seen this before. Talk about things that we never see.
Tony
So, you know. You know, like, they're always. There's always this undercurrent on some of these teams where either the defense is really great and the offense is holding them back. They can't score. The offense is really great and the defense is holding them back. And everybody just kind of like, supports each other, you know, you don't want to say the wrong thing. The Bengals, they appear to be doing the complete opposite here. Like, I. So the Bengals defense is apparently historically bad.
Another guest or co-host
All right, three historically bad teams on defense in a. In a year. Dolphins, Ravens, and Bengals.
Tony
Good point. So the. The Bengals had a big comeback against the Bears and the defense couldn't hold them in the end. And The Bears won 47 to 42. And it seems like the Bengals offensive players have had enough. So here's Chase Brown. All right. Chase Brown, Bengals running back. And he is straight up telling you, the defense sucks.
Chase Brown (quoted player)
We just got to play complimentary football. Like, we put the ball in the end zone and go up a point at the end. Finish the game. Like, just end it. Like, that's it. Like, that's. That's like, that's what we need to do. Just end the game. Like, make them. Make them get us the ball back. Let us go to 22 victory, and let's end the game. That's how. That's, like, that's how I feel. Any playmaker on this team, any. Any position, like, we're all willing to do whatever it takes to win. We just gotta finish. I think that's, like, what you go into this bye week thinking and kind of repeating to yourself is just finish, finish, finish these goddamn games. Please finish them.
Tony
When do you ever hear a player talk about the other side of the football like that? Here's what's.
Stugats
As. Surely he was the only one talking like that.
Mike
Nope.
Stugats
What?
Tony
Here's. And these are star players, especially this guy. Here's Jamar Chase, A leader or any of the leaders on the offense.
Stugats
Is it good to get on the defense or stay in your lane? I'm gonna stay in my lane. I don't want a defensive player coming, chew me out about what I'm doing.
Tony
And so apparently he's supportive.
Stugats
He said, I'm gonna stay in my lane.
Tony
Apparently, defensive players were laughing about the way the game ended. I think the offense and the defense, I think they're gonna fight each other.
Stugats
I think.
Tony
I think they're actually. I think they're gonna come up, like, put him in a pit. Yeah, that's right.
Stugats
Oh, no. Cage. So you gotta. You gotta catch them. Battle Royal, then it involves some of the football skills, right? Like how. How elusive are you?
Dan Le Batard
Brought me peace. Watching Al Golden's defense struggle like that. A little bit of decompression.
Stugats
Al golden is still alive and working, huh?
Dan Le Batard
He's young.
Tony
He's still alive. He was the D.C. bernardo Damon, the national championship.
Dan Le Batard
He has created it. Yeah.
Stugats
Wow.
Dan Le Batard
What is he just in his 50s, right?
Mike's colleague or guest
56 years old, really?
Stugats
Still alive, Dog, that really scares me. It means me and Al golden aren't that far off in age. I don't like this. I like the day when all the coaches were, like 100 years old than me. I'm like, oh, no.
Dan Le Batard
Every coaching hire is, like, younger than you now.
Stugats
I know, man. It's crazy. How old is Mario?
Dan Le Batard
Mario's in his early 50s.
Stugats
Yeah. See, like, looks good. Brent Key. I think Brent Key and me went to Georgia Tech at the same time. I'm not sure. I can't confirm, but I'm pretty sure.
Dan Le Batard
Yeah. He was there when Joey Hamilton.
Stugats
Oh, shit, man.
Dan Le Batard
99.
Mike's colleague or guest
Dan was freaking out last week because the Nationals manager that they hired is 33 years old. And someone reached out to me. Their president is 35. They don't have a GM. They have two assistant GMs. They're 31 and 33.
Stugats
They're going to up.
Mike's colleague or guest
That's crazy.
Stugats
There's no way you can have that many young people.
Dan Le Batard
They can mess up, but they'll have a job.
Mike's colleague or guest
That's true.
Dan Le Batard
They'll go. They'll build themselves back up.
Stugats
You old, you get out of a job, it's a wrap.
Dan Le Batard
That's right.
Stugats
Unless you're Vic Fangio, somehow you still get jobs.
Dan Le Batard
Well, he's just satisfied being a coordinator. He did the coach thing one time just to say he did it. But it's also better as a dc. I'm a press box guy.
Stugats
I'm telling you, Mango, it's a lot less stressful, a lot less. Because nobody's asking you questions. That's the thing. Everyone asking questions. When you head coach, you gotta answer a lot of questions. That's why you get $54 million to be Brian Kelly. Ain't got to ask no more questions. Just kick my legs up, ask me questions.
Another guest or co-host
For that money, I'll give you all the questions.
Stugats
There'll be no holding back, Tony. Speaking of no holding back. Pelicans.
Another guest or co-host
Let's talk about the Pelicans really quick.
Stugats
Let's talk about it.
Another guest or co-host
I think the NBA needs to do a bailout.
Stugats
I think contraction is the word you're looking for.
Another guest or co-host
We need something.
Stugats
Bailout means like, hey, I think this thing is salvageable. We're gonna just give you some stuff.
Another guest or co-host
I don't know. Right now, it looks like the worst situation in the NBA, right? Like, you trade away your first round pick to a team in the Hawks that basically gave you the rights to get a Derrick Queen, who's.
Tony
I mean, that trade is not that good.
Another guest or co-host
And also the trade for the Indiana pick, which now turns into a more interesting pick, too, because they're not good.
Stugats
Like, the Pacers did the deal, like.
Another guest or co-host
Right the day of the Finals, they're like, yeah, okay, we'll do. We'll do the trade. Okay, fine.
Stugats
So here's the thing. I tell people this all the time. Sometimes teams do a deal and then in retrospect, we're like, oh, that was a bad deal. Right? So, for instance, the Clippers trading for Paul George and obviously Shea Gill D's Alexander winning that deal.
Tony
Yeah, everyone thought it was a good.
Stugats
Deal at the time. Everyone was like, yeah, you do it. Cuz you got quiet. And now we look back, like, hindsight, 20 20, that's a bad deal. The Derrick Queen deal, on the day it happened, we're like, what?
Another guest or co-host
The minute, the minute it.
Mike
What are you doing?
Tony
Like, do you think Joe Dumars, did he try to get it protected? And they were just like, no, no, no. It has to be unprotected.
Stugats
This is what I've discovered. Most of the time when you're seeing a pick that goes unprotected and it's not like for a superstar player. Right.
Tony
It was to move up, what, three spots?
Stugats
Yeah, most of the time, they never ask. They never ask. You guys had your aunt last week, right? Your own Weitzman, who wrote the Hollywood Endings book about the Lakers. And he said the Pelicans had to explain to Rob what a swap is, what a pick swap is. Like, most of the time, if something happens, like what? It's not because they fought, they negotiated, finally you win. It's because nobody asked.
Tony
Like, you're telling me if Joe Dumar said, we'll trade you a first round pick, but it's top five protected, the Hawks would be like, nah, nah, nah. It has to be like, why did he ask?
Stugats
I'm telling you, he said, how much to move up to swap picks with you guys? It's going to cost you your first deal. I'm not reporting, I'm telling you.
Tony
Typically what happens, they're 07 and that's 07.
Another guest or co-host
They're getting beat by 30 every single day.
Tony
They're going to fire Willie Green any day now.
Another guest or co-host
He's a walking dead man. But like, is there a worse situation in the NBA than a star player who is in and out of the lineup, who's not that good right now? In Zion Williamson, you have nothing to look forward to. You have no first round picks. He got absolutely nothing.
Tony
You know what happened?
Stugats
You trade him for Kwai Leonard.
Dan Le Batard
Now's a good time to remember where Tequila's story truly began. In 1795, Cuervo invented tequila. Cuervo, what are you doing here?
Mike
Cuervo? Anytime someone says Cuervo, I show up.
Dan Le Batard
Well, I do know that to be true. But even during ad reads, like Cuervo. I think he could lay out, especially for one of our great partners.
Mike
Sweet, delicious Cuervo.
Dan Le Batard
Since then, Cuervo has stayed true to its roots. The same family, the same land, the same passion.
Stugats
Cuervo.
Dan Le Batard
So enjoy the tequila that started it all. Cuervo, Cuervo, the tequila that invented tequila. Proximo. Cuervo.com, please drink responsibly.
Stugats
Cuervo.
Episode: Hour 2: Landman Don't Miss (Nov 3, 2025)
Location: Elser Hotel, Downtown Miami
Hosts: Dan Le Batard, Stugotz, Mike, Tony, and guests
This episode is a vibrant blend of Miami Hurricanes college football analysis, broader college football playoff implications, sharp sports commentary, comedic pop-culture riffs, and loose banter about everything from NFL kickers to pro wrestling nostalgia. The conversation pivots around the current state of the Miami Hurricanes football program, reflections on coaching trends, frustrations and comic relief about sports, and long stretches of riffing, running gags, and Weekend Observations—a signature bit.
The show offers a mix of faith and skepticism in Miami Hurricanes football, a microcosm of modern sports fan angst—hoping for greatness, dreading the collapse. Amidst this, Stugotz’s Weekend Observations delivers the zany and the mundane of the sports universe, and the crew brings plenty of comic relief about pro wrestling, nostalgia, and ticket reseller angst. It’s a showcase of why the Le Batard Show stands out: deeply knowledgeable, unguardedly emotional, and always ready to hit the punchline.