Hour 2: Runaway Freight Train of Gibberish

Summary

The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz Episode: Hour 2: Runaway Freight Train of Gibberish Release Date: March 17, 2025

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1. Car Selling Made Easy

The episode kicks off with a light-hearted conversation between Dan Le Batard and Stugotz about selling a car. Stugotz shares his seamless experience with Carvana, highlighting the platform's convenience.

• Stugotz [00:17]: "Carvana gave me an offer in minutes, picked it up and paid me on the spot. It was so convenient."
• Dan Le Batard [00:32]: "No hassle?"

The discussion underscores the growing preference for hassle-free car selling solutions, emphasizing the appeal of instant offers and immediate payments.

2. Against the Spread: Devils vs. Blue Jackets

Entering the sports betting segment, Stugotz introduces "Against the Spread," sponsored by DraftKings. The focus shifts to the matchup between the New Jersey Devils and the Columbus Blue Jackets.

• Roy Bellamy [02:27]: "The Devils have failed to cover in nine straight night games versus opponents on a losing streak."
• Stugotz [02:46]: "Could you find a stat for anything?"

The hosts debate the odds, with Chris Cody expressing skepticism about the Devils' performance and Andrews providing analysis on the Blue Jackets' current form.

• Chris Cody [03:10]: "They look totally listless."
• Stugotz [03:20]: "No, no, no. It's a night game and New Jersey can't beat a team that has a losing streak."

The segment concludes with a humorous back-and-forth, highlighting the unpredictability of sports betting and the hosts' camaraderie in discussing odds.

3. Bracket Season and Women's NCAA Tournament

The conversation transitions to the excitement of bracket season, with a particular focus on the women's NCAA tournament. The hosts share their strategies and frustrations with bracket predictions.

• Stugotz [07:28]: "This all begs the question, what is the perfect amount of brackets to fill out?"
• Dan Le Batard [07:44]: "I have a Final Four right now. That is so chalk."

Dan admits to taking a conservative approach, favoring high-seed teams, while Billy Corben critiques the predictability of such strategies.

• Billy Corben [06:16]: "The women's game isn't madness this time of year. Like the top 20."

The discussion delves into the challenges of predicting upsets and balancing statistical analysis with personal intuition, providing listeners with relatable insights into the complexities of bracketology.

4. Pets and Relationship Dynamics

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to exploring the dynamics between pets and their owners, particularly in blended families. Billy Corben shares a personal anecdote about inheriting cats, leading to a deep dive into the emotional bonds (or lack thereof) with pets.

• Billy Corben [08:34]: "I have inherited two cats that now boss around a pit bull."
• Dan Le Batard [10:19]: "All cats are assholes, though."

The hosts humorously debate the complexities of pet ownership, addressing topics such as favoritism, territorial behavior, and the challenges of merging different animal personalities.

• Mike Ryan [14:23]: "Do you have Ron McGill on retainer to show up at your house?"
• Billy Corben [26:07]: "The dog ended up biting Valerie on the leg while lunging at the cat."

This segment not only entertains but also offers listeners a glimpse into the real-life challenges of managing pets in a household, fostering a sense of shared experience and understanding.

5. Stephen A. Smith and Larry David Interaction

The conversation shifts to a hypothetical scenario involving sports commentator Stephen A. Smith and comedian Larry David. The hosts speculate on how these two personalities might interact.

• Billy Corben [27:53]: "Does it seem to you like Larry David would enjoy Stephen A's company?"
• Chris Cody [28:14]: "Yeah, I mean, not what we know about his character. I'm sure if he was around him long enough, he'd come up with something that would bother him."

The discussion highlights the potential clash and camaraderie between a seasoned sports analyst and a sharp-witted comedian, blending humor with insightful character analysis.

6. Paul George and the Philadelphia 76ers

A critical examination of Paul George's tenure with the Philadelphia 76ers forms the core of this segment. The hosts dissect George's struggles, the team's disappointing performance, and the broader implications for the league.

• Billy Corben [30:07]: "Paul George is under the immense pressure of this is the end of his career, the end of his relevance."
• Dan Le Batard [33:10]: "Paul George cares enough to take the five painkilling shots and then to have publicly released that he took the five painkilling shots. What does it buy him?"

The hosts debate George's dedication amidst injuries and a faltering team, questioning whether his actions have garnered any positive reception from fans.

• Chris Cody [35:24]: "He's definitely looking like he did that when he canceled his podcast... So this is a guy that has struggled in the postseason."

The analysis extends to the 76ers' management and strategic decisions, offering listeners a comprehensive view of the team's challenges and future prospects.

7. Formula 1 Recap and F1 Minute Segment

Transitioning to motorsports, Dan provides a humorous recap of the recent Formula 1 race, infused with classic show banter and playful commentary.

• Dan Le Batard [37:22]: "Before lights out Isaac Hajar has crashed his racing balloon to the wall in the formation lap."
• Stugotz [37:22]: "Oh no."

The recap covers key events, driver performances, and race dynamics, delivering both information and entertainment in the signature lively style of the show.

• Dan Le Batard [38:26]: "Lando Norris has won his first Australian Grand Prix and Burn Maylander is the driver of the day."

This segment serves as a quick update for Formula 1 fans, blending factual reporting with the hosts' unique comedic flair.

8. Detroit Pistons Ejection and Season Disasters

In a passionate discussion about basketball, the hosts delve into the Detroit Pistons' tumultuous season, focusing on a game marred by technical fouls and player ejections.

• Billy Corben [40:25]: "Did you guys see what happened in the Pistons Oklahoma City game?"
• Dan Le Batard [40:48]: "I saw that the Pistons coach... was being very upset and was saying that the refereeing was very unfair."

The conversation explores the expectations versus the reality of the Pistons' performance, highlighting internal team conflicts and coaching challenges.

• Chris Cody [42:30]: "I saw that the Pistons were taking on the regional identity of a team that nobody is respecting correctly."

The hosts critique the team's management and player behavior, reflecting on how these factors contribute to the broader narrative of the Pistons' disappointing season.

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Conclusion

"Hour 2: Runaway Freight Train of Gibberish" offers a rich tapestry of sports analysis, personal anecdotes, and spirited discussions. From the ease of selling cars with Carvana to the intricate dynamics of pet ownership, and from the hypothetical interactions of famous personalities to the scrutinizing look at athlete performances, the episode encapsulates the multifaceted appeal of The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz. Notable moments, such as Billy Corben's candid stories and the hosts' sharp critiques, provide listeners with both entertainment and thoughtful insights into the world of sports and beyond.

Transcript

[Dan Le Batard]

You're listening to Giraffe Kings Network. Yeah, sure thing. Hey, you sold that car yet?

[Stugotz]

Yeah, sold it to Carvana.

[Dan Le Batard]

Oh, I thought you were selling to that guy.

[Stugotz]

The guy who wanted to pay me in foreign currency. No interest over 36 months. Yeah, no. Carvana gave me an offer in minutes, picked it up and paid me on the spot. It was so convenient.

[Dan Le Batard]

Just like that?

[Stugotz]

Yeah.

[Dan Le Batard]

No hassle?

[Chris Cody]

None.

[Dan Le Batard]

That is super convenient. Sell your car to Carvana and swap. Hassle for convenience.

[Unknown]

Pickup fees may apply.

[Jessica]

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[Mike Ryan]

This is the Dan Levator show with the Stugats podcast.

[Stugotz]

It's time for against the Spread and it's brought to you by our friends at DraftKings. DraftKings. The Crown is yours, Roy.

[Roy Bellamy]

Kick us off Devils at Blue Jackets tonight. I got a word, staff for you here. The Devils have failed to cover in nine straight night games versus opponents on a losing streak. The Blue Jackets on a three game losing streak. The Devils just lost to the Penguins 7 to 3 on Saturday. The Blue Jackets are underdogs in this game. By going a half, it begs the.

[Stugotz]

Question, could you find a stat for anything?

[Mike Ryan]

Wow.

[Stugotz]

Yeah, that was an oddly specific stat.

[Roy Bellamy]

I know, it's ridiculous. And because of that stat, ongoing blue Jackets tonight as the underdog. A goal and a half underdog.

[Chris Cody]

You're not worried they've run out of gas? They've been one of the nicer stories in the sport, but they're dealing with injuries. They look totally listless. Yeah, but I mean, it is a night game.

[Roy Bellamy]

It is a night game.

[Billy Corben]

That's not good analysis.

[Chris Cody]

That was actually.

[Billy Corben]

It is a night game.

[Chris Cody]

It's making me stay away from the game. I know that that was the opposite of the intention, but the form is so bad from the blue jacket.

[Billy Corben]

I don't think that Roy made a very convincing argument for what it is that he's asking us to bet.

[Chris Cody]

No, no, no. It's a night game and New Jersey can't beat a team that a losing.

[Mike Ryan]

He was a good point.

[Stugotz]

Now we go to Billy for our Anaheim Ducks pick of the week.

[Mike Ryan]

Ah, we've been flying high together. You know what they say, Ducks fly together. And we have been hot when we have been picking the Ducks 4. And oh, I believe this season on Ducks games, it's always a one and a half goal spread there. And the Ducks aren't always winning, but they're always covering. But friends, I hate to disappoint you tonight. I'm not taking the Ducks. The Ducks aren't playing tonight. Instead, I'm gonna switch things up a bit, guys. I don't know if you heard, MLB starts tomorrow, Big series. These are games that everybody marks down on their calendar. They say, I can't wait for these games. The season's officially starting and everyone's excited about these games. Everybody cares. They count. That's what we've been saying around here all day long. So Dodgers are at the Cubs in Tokyo, but they're still the road team. Yamamoto is taking on Imanaga. But I think the story of the day should be no surprise to anyone. Shohei Ohtani, that guy, guys, is a rock star in Japan. I don't know if you caught on to this. Well, you saw what was going on this past weekend. So they had some games. They had, you know, the Dodgers were playing a team there and the Cubs were playing a team there, and they had split it up. It was kind of like a double header situation. They couldn't get the fans out because Shohei was playing in the first game. They said, guys, you gotta. You gotta skedaddle. Get out of here. The second game, you don't have tickets for these games couldn't clear out the stadium. People love Shohei Ohtani over there in Japan. So for that reason, for that reason, I'm going to take the Dodgers one and a half tomorrow against the Cubs at Chicago, at Tokyo, against the spread. Well, whatever.

[Billy Corben]

Just a runaway freight train of gibberish.

[Mike Ryan]

40 ducks fly together.

[Billy Corben]

Yeah, well, you did.

[Chris Cody]

They've been money. They've been money. I've been tailing. Been tailing. They did lose yesterday, but he didn't make a pick for yesterday.

[Mike Ryan]

Not yesterday's game.

[Billy Corben]

Chris Cody, did I hear you under your breath ripping Jay Williams in the other room?

[Stugotz]

Well, I just, I, I every, you know, this is bracket season, Dan. This is everybody. What, what's their bracket, who they got, who's their Final Four? What's their upset pick? I am just looking for experts that I can copy their picks. I saw Clark Kellogg has Clemson going far. Boom. Clemson going far in my bracket. But not Jay Williams. He's zagging while others zigzag. All ones and all ones and two seeds in his. In his Elite Eight, which might end up being. Right. It's one of those things you think you got to overthink it. Sometimes you don't. But it's like J will go on a limb. Give me something, Chris.

[Dan Le Batard]

I literally just filled out my first women's NCAA tournament.

[Stugotz]

All ones and twos. Yeah, I mean, gotta find your three or four.

[Dan Le Batard]

I have, I have women's game.

[Billy Corben]

Not in women.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah, but I don't know. Except lsu. I mean, they were a three seed when they won, weren't they? Yeah, only like two years ago.

[Stugotz]

Working a three. Come on.

[Dan Le Batard]

I have, I have a Final Four right now. That is so chalk. I have UConn upsetting USC in the, in the Elite Eight, making the Final Four. But then I have UCLA, South Carolina and Texas. I'm like, I don't feel good about.

[Billy Corben]

No, but you should feel good about it. The women's game isn't madness this time of year. Like the top 20.

[Dan Le Batard]

I don't even like South Carolina, like this much, but I just don't see them losing to North Carolina or Duke.

[Stugotz]

If you win with your bracket, you're going to split it with like 17 other people.

[Billy Corben]

Well, that's the thing also.

[Dan Le Batard]

I mean, so like, yeah, last year when I filled out my women's NCAA tournament bracket, I was like, if I go all chalk, I'm gonna win this thing. No, I don't. I lost by a million points. Like, there are people that are very good at getting these first round games right? Like the eights and nines and everything. It's not me, okay? It's really it's not me. I even. I even have Notre Dame losing in the second round here, which would be a huge upset to Michigan, I believe.

[Billy Corben]

Why'd you do that?

[Mike Ryan]

The front door.

[Billy Corben]

Why are we shutting the front door?

[Dan Le Batard]

Because I said last night they've just. They've really petered out at the end of the season. I don't.

[Chris Cody]

Size thing. Does Michigan have size on.

[Dan Le Batard]

They do have a good freshman, but a big but so does Notre Dame. So it's not a size thing. It's Notre Dame just petering out. And this is me protecting my, you know, emotional hedging right now.

[Stugotz]

This all begs the question, what is the perfect amount of brackets to fill out?

[Roy Bellamy]

Are we begging that question?

[Stugotz]

Some people wonder, do you just fill out one? If I fill out multiple, am I doing the same results in every bracket? Peter Burns had a theory that you fill out three right when it comes out, you just poop one out.

[Dan Le Batard]

That's this one.

[Stugotz]

And then second one is, you think about it, you look at matchups, you dissect, you really crunch the numbers. That's number two and number three. You go with your heart. Yeah, you just what you want to happen. So you fill out three different brackets and you see what's what at the end.

[Dan Le Batard]

I wish the bracket makers went with their hearts and were cognizant of the fact that we could have a ucla, USC rematch in the Final Four, in a South Carolina, Texas rematch, which is literally like what we just did last weekend. Like, if they. If all of the one seeds make it, that would be so annoying. Why do they do that? Flip them around.

[Billy Corben]

I wanted to ask you guys a question about Stephen A. Smith and Larry David, but before I do that, I wanted to tell you a story from my home this morning, and I wanted to ask you guys what you think of it. None of you are cat people, correct?

[Chris Cody]

Hell, no.

[Billy Corben]

There's nobody in here.

[Dan Le Batard]

I love cats, but I don't have one.

[Chris Cody]

Go cats.

[Billy Corben]

So I've always been a dog person, and I've never had much of a relationship with any cats. My family did have one for 20 years, but it was outdoors, and it wasn't the connection that I have with dogs. But my wife is a cat person, and so I have inherited two cats that now boss around a pit bull. And I see their personality, and it's been delightful to get to love cats. The old one, a gray old cat, was on the kitchen table the other day, and when my wife looked up, that cat had a piece of her breakfast in its mouth and isn't supposed to. A piece of avocado. They don't even like avocado. I don't know what she was doing. And my wife, who I've never seen the side of her at this old gray lady, shouted asshole. And the question I wanted to ask you guys, they usually are. Well, but I thought I, I almost use asshole exclusively for males. That Otis, Otis is an asshole. The other, the other cat is an asshole. But I just don't think of asshole as someone that gets something, that gets. We were talking before about quarterbacks and whether quarterback can be too confident, be an asshole, be a dick. I don't think of that as something I say toward women. Am I being some? Like. Do you often call women assholes, females assholes?

[Dan Le Batard]

Well, it was a cat.

[Billy Corben]

I know, but she was calling a female cat an asshole and it felt wrong to me. And I just started wondering whether that was a male, whether I was somebody who was just doing assholes exclusively for male.

[Stugotz]

I've called my wife an asshole before. Remember last week when I said that she wouldn't let me get ice cream after 8:30 with my daughter? I called her an asshole once when she did that.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah, all cats are assholes, though.

[Billy Corben]

Yeah, they're jerks.

[Stugotz]

I would describe them as jerks.

[Dan Le Batard]

No, they're all assholes. That's like a feature, not a bug.

[Chris Cody]

I don't, I don't go with asshole when I'm angry with a woman because there's so many great other words that are gender specific to call them.

[Mike Ryan]

I believe women can be assholes.

[Chris Cody]

You all have one.

[Billy Corben]

Thank you, Roy.

[Dan Le Batard]

This is one of your weird gender blind spots, Dan. First of all, you shouldn't call women anything. But also you can call them asshole.

[Billy Corben]

Just never have. Just never have. Speaking of which, this is an awkward transition.

[Mike Ryan]

Wait, can I ask you a question about your cat before you transition real quick? You said you, you inherited them. Do you, like, is it like if you're like a stepdaddy, like, do you then adopt the cats also so that you're the cat's daddy or. No, like real kids. Can you adopt a cat that's already been adopted?

[Billy Corben]

What are you asking me?

[Mike Ryan]

Because, like, you know, like when you get married and you have stepchildren, right? Like, sometimes the step parent will adopt the children. And this is a bit of a.

[Billy Corben]

This would be a step pet scenario.

[Mike Ryan]

Yes.

[Chris Cody]

W word.

[Dan Le Batard]

Do you consider them yours?

[Stugotz]

Did she have the cats before you were around?

[Dan Le Batard]

Like, are you like, get your cat out of here.

[Mike Ryan]

Are you like, is it our cat? Now, like, are you trying to call.

[Roy Bellamy]

You a cat daddy?

[Billy Corben]

Yeah, I don't think. I think they are her cats, but I have absolutely grown to love them. So.

[Mike Ryan]

So, like, they're yours, but you haven't done the formality of adopting them?

[Billy Corben]

No, I don't have any paperwork. They would. They are. And nor. Nor do I feel about them the way that she feels about them because I cannot reach those heights. They are not.

[Mike Ryan]

Well, they can be. That's why you go adopt them.

[Dan Le Batard]

I think you just answered your question.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah. Geez, that's sad.

[Billy Corben]

These are about my limits, though. This makes me a step. A step pet dad. Because she had them before me. Isn't that why you asked the question?

[Mike Ryan]

No, but, like, if you become a stepdad, those children obviously were there before you go in and you marry the person and you become the stepdaddy. So I'm just wondering if, like, that's a thing that can happen when you marry someone that has pets that you then, you know, view. Do you view them as your, like, kitties?

[Billy Corben]

Well, you've asked this again, and I view them as hers. And I. Why do you make that sound?

[Mike Ryan]

It's just sad.

[Dan Le Batard]

Why is for them they were children. Would you love them?

[Billy Corben]

Yeah, I do love them. Wait a minute. Why?

[Mike Ryan]

But the way you're saying it, it.

[Dan Le Batard]

Sounds like you don't love them enough.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah. Like they feel lesser than love them more. Yeah.

[Dan Le Batard]

Is what you're saying.

[Billy Corben]

I would say just, I don't know. Are you and your significant other, the way that you love is exactly equal in strength? I believe my wife is capable of greater loves than I am. I believe my wife has fewer lim as it regards love than I do. I believe her love is bigger than mine.

[Dan Le Batard]

So I think that Lee and I are equally dead inside, which is why it kind of works.

[Mike Ryan]

That's good.

[Chris Cody]

Yeah. You should get a cat.

[Mike Ryan]

Why do you have a limit to your love? Why can't you love the cats more?

[Billy Corben]

I have found that over the. The relate. Over the length of this relationship, I have learned that my love is less limited than I thought it was. But when I met her, I was a certain kind of limited. And since then, I've noticed that the way she feels about the cats is stronger than the way that I do.

[Stugotz]

That's just a cat thing. I'm with you. Like, I've had family cats that I'm just like, yeah, I like the dog way more.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah.

[Stugotz]

Like, my parents have had multiple cats, and we. We don't touch them. We just say hello. Just a pass by relationship.

[Mike Ryan]

Also, like counterpoint, I would say, just based on the story you told us. Like, you've never called the gray cat an asshole. So like, that could, like, you could be capable of more love. You're calling yourself Mr. Limited. I say we go to Mr. Unlimited here. In terms of like the love that you can give the cats, but also when you reach the level of love, you also can reach that level of hate that you probably can't reach with the cats. Also where you couldn't bring yourself to calling the cat an asshole because you don't seem to have that passion one way or another towards the cat.

[Billy Corben]

I know that Mike and Jessica both have relationships with animals. And do you and your spouse feel exactly. What'd you just call her? Exactly the same about your pets? Is your amount of love for the pet exactly the same?

[Chris Cody]

In my household, I think so. I think we both love Big now. The dog does not reciprocate.

[Dan Le Batard]

I was gonna say the same thing. Yes. I think Lee and I both, we love Willow dearly to death, but she really, really likes Lee.

[Stugotz]

Cause animals aren't smart, so that they aren't smart enough to like, balance out. Like, they just play favorites. They're like, yep, I like that person a lot more often.

[Chris Cody]

It's tied to when they feed me. How. When is this feeding session happening? How early did this person catch them in the feeding cycle? That's at least what I tell myself.

[Stugotz]

As opposed to what can I get away with?

[Chris Cody]

Cynthia Roma likes Cynthia more.

[Stugotz]

They like. They like people that can get away with stuff. It's like kids like my, my daughter likes my wife more because she can get away with opposite.

[Dan Le Batard]

For us.

[Mike Ryan]

You're the disciplinary.

[Dan Le Batard]

Because Lehman's the disciplinarian and he. She really respects him. She does not respect me at all because I let her do whatever she wants.

[Chris Cody]

A lot of it is tied to feeding time.

[Mike Ryan]

But they also both adopted those animals together, like while they were a unit with their significant other. So it's not like Jessica's coming in and Lee had Willow beforehand.

[Dan Le Batard]

Although Billy, we adopted Willow and then I moved to Miami like six months. And Lee and Willow stayed in New York for like a year and a half because of work. So we were a little. Me and Willow were long distance for about a year. And I think she really resents me for it. We've never gotten over that hurdle, to.

[Billy Corben]

Be clear, when you accuse me of loving less because I'm a step pet dad. Those animals are also clearly hers. They behave with her in A more loving fashion that they behave with me. So when they get a lesser love from me, it is reciprocating their lesser love of me because they were hers before. Before I met them.

[Chris Cody]

So you have a transactional, emotional relationship with the cats.

[Mike Ryan]

You need to be the bigger person here, Dan. I mean, you're the only person in this equation with the cat, but you need to be the bigger person and say, you know what? I'm gonna love you unconditionally whether you love me or not.

[Dan Le Batard]

That's the thing. Not all cats like that really. Like, Chris was describing about, like, you know, seeing the cat and just being like, sup? And then walking away.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah, just walk by.

[Stugotz]

Little head nod.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah. Also, that's cat companionship for a lot of cats.

[Chris Cody]

Paul McCartney's rule of love does not apply to cats. They're. They're a strange brie. The love that you make is not equal to the love that you.

[Mike Ryan]

I think that you might need to have, like, cat dates. You know what I mean? Like, to kind of establish your relationship with the cats independent of your wife's relationship with the cats. Because it seems like that's really what's going on here, is that, like, there's the relationship that Valerie has with the cats, and there's a relationship Valerie has with you, and you and the cats are married together in this relationship because of Valerie. But in reality, you guys are all in this together, and you're a cat family whether you wanted it or not. This is where we are. So I feel like maybe the way that we overcome this is that you have some you time with the cats, and then you guys can strengthen and form your own bonds. You have.

[Billy Corben]

Your own relationship is fine with the cats. I don't need any more of your cat advice.

[Dan Le Batard]

My relationship is good to learn how to love. It sounds like I'm trying to help.

[Mike Ryan]

Here if we want to move on.

[Billy Corben]

Yeah.

[Chris Cody]

I'm happy for your blended family, though. It's not easy to get cats and dogs to get along famously.

[Billy Corben]

Well, we had an incident. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. No, look.

[Chris Cody]

This was a fight.

[Billy Corben]

Oh, my God. This was terrifying. Well, they have to establish that the dog was inherited. Okay. And the dog, again, is a pit mix. This is actually very amusing because he's muscular. Everyone's scared of the dog. Everyone is scared of the dog except for these cats. So the incident actually was a dangerous one because the dog ended up biting Valerie on. On the leg while lunging at the cat. But. So they have to sort it out. Right. McGill was actually teaching us in retrospect. This was a dumb decision. In retrospect, bringing in rescuing a pit bull mix with two cats in the house and territorial about space and having them have to have it out was a terrible idea. But the pit is now terrified of the orange cat because of the story I'm about to tell you. Okay, I. We are giving medicine to the old gray bag of vacuum cleaner dust in her ear, and I go to put her down, and I didn't realize that the dog was there when I was putting her down. So the cat runs away from the dog, even though the dog hasn't done anything. The dog is just there. But the protector, the orange cat, the male cat who thinks he's the boss of my house because he is, sees the gray lady run away, sees the terror, and then goes straight on to attack the pit bull who doesn't know what it is that's happening because he's never seen this orange creature who's always been respectful, behave this way.

[Stugotz]

Is your cat's name Gray bag of Dust?

[Mike Ryan]

I'm starting to piece together what's going on here. You call one the orange one, and then you call the other one the old gray lady and the gray bag of vacuum dust, which one's the asshole? I understand now. The gray bag of vacuum dust, if I followed correctly earlier. I think what's going on here is you're refusing to give them names. Like, it's very simple. You have a male orange cat, Garfield. You have a gray, you know, old cat. We'll figure out a name for that one. But, like, if you give them names and you make them feel more than than, that improves the relationship.

[Roy Bellamy]

You call one of them Otis.

[Billy Corben]

One of them is Otis, after Otis Redding. Yes.

[Chris Cody]

Oh, and a good name.

[Billy Corben]

And I've been avoiding the other one because I don't want to give the name because it's Foot Foot and it's a ridiculous name. So I was trying to avoid that.

[Chris Cody]

Yeah, named after Stug.

[Billy Corben]

That's the other one.

[Chris Cody]

When he said football.

[Billy Corben]

That's the other one.

[Dan Le Batard]

Named after my old college football segment.

[Stugotz]

So one foot wasn't enough, huh? You're like two foots.

[Billy Corben]

Well, I knew that was coming. It's what I was trying to avoid. Like, that's.

[Mike Ryan]

I like that name.

[Billy Corben]

Precisely. That's why I call it.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah. What's a cute name?

[Stugotz]

So you thought referring to them as.

[Mike Ryan]

A gray back vacuum dust would just.

[Jessica]

Like that one will their paws easier?

[Billy Corben]

Yes, Foot.

[Mike Ryan]

Foot's a good name. Don't feel bad about that. I like that name.

[Dan Le Batard]

I paws cute too though.

[Billy Corben]

I don't feel bad about that. I was simply trying to avoid what I knew would be the feeding frenzy of you guys enjoying that My sister's.

[Dan Le Batard]

Cat'S name is Kennewick.

[Billy Corben]

I was trying to avoid just that. Just that.

[Unknown]

Howdy folks.

[Chris Cody]

It's Mike Ryan.

[Unknown]

Want to responsibly speak to you about my favorite time, Miller Time. Look, a lot of things are coming back in the season. MLS is back. P's and C's in the mlb. You know who puts the ML in those sports? Miller Lite. That's right. From basketball to hockey to game night winner means more moments with the coolest people in your life. Make these moments even better with Miller Light, the greatest tasting light beer for people like you and me who love their beer, now's a perfect time for friends, family and a great tasting light beer tastes like Miller Time. And it's got tastes that you know you can depend on. No games, no gimmicks. Just great beer. For people who love their beer because it's brewed for taste. It just hits different than other light beers because of simple ingredients like malted barley for rich balanced toffee note flavors and that iconic golden color. Miller Lite. Great taste. 96 calories. Go to millerlight.com dan to find delivery options near you or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer tastes like Miller Time.

[Chris Cody]

Celebrate responsibly.

[Unknown]

Miller Brewing Co. Milwaukee, Wisconsin 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.

[Jessica]

Hey there travelers and dreamers. We all have that dream trip that we've been wishing we could go on. But too often life just gets in the way. Whether it's work, family, responsibilities, or in my case and I'm sure many of yours, price. But your dreamtrip doesn't have to stay a dream any longer because Priceline is here to help you book it with millions of deals on hotels, flights, cruises and rental cars. That bucket list destination? Yeah, it's a lot closer than you think. You know, I've been wanting to go see the Pittsburgh Pirates for a long time at PNC park in Pittsburgh. That's like at the top of my list of bucket list destinations of baseball parks around the country. And because I now know about the type of deals that Priceline are offers, I may pull the trigger this summer and go see those Pirates. Priceline makes it easy and stress free to book a flight and a hotel so I can go see my team play live with millions of travel deals like up to 60% off hotels. I know I'll be able to find great options even when I need to book last minute. So don't just dream about that next trip. Book it with Priceline, download the Priceline app or visit priceline.com to go to your happy price. Actual prices may vary. Limited time offer terms apply.

[Unknown]

All right, I know I gotta do this ad read, but hold on, let me reapply. Did you hear that? Yep. That's my new favorite lip gloss from Nyx Cosmetics. Now I'm ready to talk to you. I've been a huge fan of Nyx Cosmetics for many years now. In fact, I use their thick It Stick it brow gel every single day. So you can imagine my excitement when we recently received a special delivery to the Lebatard Studios from our friends over at NYX Cosmetics. And there it was when I opened the box. Glowing. I heard the angels sing. It's their latest lip gloss, Fat Oil Lip Drip. It's NYX Cosmetics first lip oil of its kind. This creamy lip oil will have your lips dripping with fat perks. You get all the shine of a lip gloss and none of the stickiness while experiencing 12 hour hydration. I'm usually a matte lip gloss kind of gal. My normal go to is NYX Cosmetics Lip Gloss the Lingerie xx. But after applying the status update shade, I have found my new go to lip gloss. Fat Oil Lip Drip has high shine finish with comfortable wear and none of the sticky texture. A lip product that's hydrating, non sticky and only $9. Now that's a win. Try Fat Oil Lip Drip from Nyx Professional makeup. Available in 14 universally flattering shades. Find your perfect fat oil lip drip shop [e-mail] or retailer near you.

[Billy Corben]

Don Lebatard.

[Mike Ryan]

We didn't get to your guys's against us. You're right, you're right, you're right.

[Billy Corben]

I don't have it against the spread because I wasn't prepared for this segment.

[Mike Ryan]

You need any in in your life.

[Billy Corben]

You have actively played defense against me today in a way that has rarely been this undercutting stugats.

[Mike Ryan]

Defense wins championships, baby. That's show business. This is the Dan Levatar show with the stugats. Anyway, so the bag of vacuum dust.

[Dan Le Batard]

The other one is Clovis.

[Billy Corben]

I was trying to avoid all of the ways I know you guys to obviously not be helpful and so I didn't successfully because I'm getting older and I've lost a step and so I made it an old gray bag of dust. But what happened was. And you guys would have actually enjoyed the visuals of this because I don't still have the scratches on my arms, but I did for a while. I've never seen Otis, the orange one, this way because the orange one knew that this was a fight for dominance of the house. The pit bull did not know that that's what was happening. And I got between them and it was a bad idea because then the cat charged me. And so what ends up happening is I'm holding the cat by the belly. That's the worst place to hold the cat. And the cat is also holding me by the arms. And we're both screaming at each other. And I am another reason why I don't like cats.

[Chris Cody]

The claws.

[Stugotz]

You don't have the thumbs to do that.

[Mike Ryan]

What's the dog's name?

[Billy Corben]

The dog's name is Early.

[Mike Ryan]

Oh, this is you being helpful. You name it. Armando. Right there.

[Chris Cody]

Is that named after who?

[Dan Le Batard]

Named after Not Dan. Yesterday, for the selection show, you were late.

[Chris Cody]

I was logged in at 5:45.

[Mike Ryan]

A boat is a whole thing.

[Chris Cody]

Is this okay?

[Billy Corben]

A boat and a train. Cuba time. Not just a boat. A boat and a train.

[Chris Cody]

Jackie, you're on.

[Billy Corben]

Coach.

[Dan Le Batard]

L was on time.

[Billy Corben]

So was my father. I was just holding the cat. And we were both screaming at each other. And for us, it was a dream.

[Stugotz]

Draw.

[Billy Corben]

Right. Okay. You get to be the man of the house. And that's me saying it to him. And it's also him saying it to me. And what got decided there is early is no longer in charge around here. And my wife is bleeding. And that was all terrifying. And we had to keep them apart for several months because we didn't want that to happen again.

[Roy Bellamy]

That's too bad, man.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah.

[Billy Corben]

It was brutal violence, huh?

[Dan Le Batard]

And now everyone gets along?

[Billy Corben]

Yes, everyone's fine. Well, now early will simply not. Otis will wait and stand in front of him and make early turn his face and not look at him because he is now the dominant creature in the household. That's. They had to fight it out in order to establish this.

[Mike Ryan]

Sounds unhealthy.

[Billy Corben]

It didn't seem great while I was in it.

[Chris Cody]

Not with all the blood.

[Mike Ryan]

Are we past it now?

[Billy Corben]

We're both. Yeah. Well, I'll never forgive Otis for that. Like, I'll never forget it. I should say I won't. It's not that I won't forgive it. It's. Now I have a healthier respect than I ever had.

[Chris Cody]

Do you have Ron McGill on retainer to be show up at your house.

[Billy Corben]

Oh, he was very helpful during this. Your.

[Chris Cody]

Your whisperer.

[Stugotz]

I'm just picturing him sitting at the middle of the couch, like, all right, come here, Come here.

[Dan Le Batard]

I'm just picturing him talking about, like, what cats do when they have sex. Like, he's just not paying attention.

[Mike Ryan]

Just imagine talking about your cat's vagina.

[Billy Corben]

He'll do that. April 13th. If you want more cat vagina information. April 13th. Poppy dominoes.com Sex and the Animals. He is breaking out what was in retirement or what has sold out every time. He's done it for more than 20 years at Zoo Miami. Poppy Dominoes.com is where you go if you want to play in the tournament or get General Mission tickets or I should say, because this is all a fun fundraiser. All proceeds going to Ron McGill. You can go to the website and there's stuff you can buy. If you cannot go to Banshell, because all of the money is going to go to Ron McGill.

[Stugotz]

Is Ricky as short as we make him look in this promo?

[Mike Ryan]

I was wondering.

[Billy Corben]

No, that is not accurate. Nor is my father's belly that big either. Or it.

[Chris Cody]

Ron is also not this short relative to the two of those.

[Billy Corben]

No, I don't know what Ricky.

[Stugotz]

Poppy looking down at Ricky.

[Billy Corben]

It's. It's strange. This is not in any way accurate. My father's belly is not that either. But that. That's what we're going with. Promotional poster.

[Chris Cody]

Don't forget Domino. The wrestler's gotta be there too. He didn't make the graphic.

[Billy Corben]

The thing that I was saying about Stephen A. Smith and Larry David being courtside during that much ballyhooed LeBron confrontation. The thing that I wanted to ask you guys, Dead seriously, does it seem to you like Larry David would enjoy Stephen A's company?

[Chris Cody]

Yeah, it would. I mean, not what we know about his character. I'm sure if he was around him long enough, he'd come up with something that would bother him. But Larry David famously loves sports. I think he would revel in it.

[Dan Le Batard]

I could definitely see them kind of grumbling under their breath to each other about basketball. Right. Sort of complaining back and forth about the Knicks. Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

[Billy Corben]

Because I just would think that somebody who was bombastic. I don't know what Larry David gets along with, but I would assume it would just be other comedians. It would be other people who are actively having a sense of humor about everything or the process of being a comedian. Well, I've heard him talk to Conan O'brien and others. Conan O'Brien has said when they. When he comes over to parties at his house, like, what is the comfort level that I have to give you? And he's like, you got to give me at least three comedians or three comedy writers, otherwise I'm going to be a disaster. I'm not going to be good with those people. I'm not going to have a lot of tolerance for whatever the social setting is. But you guys think that sports is the great connector there.

[Chris Cody]

Yeah, yeah. Their common bond of complaining for most of their lives about the New York basketball team I think brings them together.

[Mike Ryan]

You throw something at him just to get them riled up. You know what I mean? Like, you say something, I know this is something Stephen A. Is going to really not like. And you say that just to see if you can get them going.

[Billy Corben]

Well, you would enjoy doing that.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah, of course. Why not?

[Billy Corben]

You think that Larry David would enjoy riling up Stephen A. Smith?

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah, I do. I think. I think you would enjoy that.

[Dan Le Batard]

I also learned, like, one thing Knicks fans all sort of, like, have in common is they don't want your sympathy. Like, they want, you know, they want to be, like, angry and, like, complain and annoyed. But, like, as soon as I am extending my. Like the other morning we woke up the morning after the Knicks warriors game and I was like, oh, man, I'm so sad the Knicks lost that game. And Lehman was like, get over it. I was like, oh, geez.

[Chris Cody]

Cliche is misery loves company.

[Dan Le Batard]

Exactly.

[Chris Cody]

Both those guys are famously miserable.

[Dan Le Batard]

Gotta be miserable together.

[Billy Corben]

That would be a good place to connect. When we were talking earlier about how competitive sports are and the lengths that athletes will go to in order to circumnavigate the health issues that are these tests on the body. I don't know how many of you noticed over the weekend that there was a very specific report that came out on Paul George. Jessica was talking about the pressure to perform and amid competitive people and amid aging. The Philadelphia 76ers have been the biggest disappointment in the league this year and one of the biggest disappointments in the history of the league over the last 20 years. Joel Embiid is now out for the season. But the specifics on the Paul George report I thought were interesting because they had one sentence of detail that can only really come from Paul George, which is five straight days before the All Star break. In order to play games, he took pain killing injections. It was oddly specific to see in the report. And Paul George is under the immense pressure of this is the end of his career, the end of his relevance. He's gone to a team that had expectations. He created the expectations by being the missing piece, and now the whole thing has fallen apart. And he also had the pressure to play through all of the injuries that would result in five straight painkilling shots in order to get on the court for the 76ers in a totally lost season.

[Chris Cody]

I think he added the detail of when this happened because there was a lot of fan blowback to him posting himself on a relaxing vacation during the All Star break. So if he frames it as, I was actually playing hurt, I needed this relaxation. People were just getting in his mentions for having a good time away from the sport. So I think that that's part of the intention there.

[Billy Corben]

But what are the thoughts, though? I'm assuming that it's true. Okay, whatever the intention of it, Paul George and his people are trying to buy favor with, hey, this person's trying their hardest. The expectations are an enormous pressure to have when you're paid like him. And Philadelphia has totally fallen apart all around you. So you're going to the extremity of caring so much that you are trying to mute your body. Screaming five straight games and telling fans that in order to buy you what? Nothing is the answer. Right? That fact buys him not one thing from one fan. Nothing. Correct. Am I wrong about this? That there is no amount of nuance that's going to be applied by a, oh, a tolerant Philadelphia fan who's really upset by everything that's happened. Who cares one iota that Paul George cares enough to take shots for five straight games in what would be the easiest situation to be like, I'm not playing anymore. What do I need to play for? For what?

[Chris Cody]

I mean, it is a data point. I don't know how rational Sixers fans are about it, but I would say, well, he stinks. And I guess part of that is he's hurt and that's why he stinks.

[Billy Corben]

Philadelphia was supposed to be when this season started. It wasn't Cleveland that was going to be however many games better. What is it now? 7, 8 games? Cleveland finally had its 16 game lose winning streak broken by Orlando and the Celtics. Don't look right and no one cares right. They barely beat the Nets. I enjoyed the call. I was listening to the call. Someone for the Nets named Wilson. And the announcer, he kept hitting threes. And the announcer on the radio just kept shouting, Wilson. Like the volleyball and castaway. But that game, Boston has been playing with its food all season. And we all. I think everyone listening to this knows that the dilution of the regular season has been such that no one listening to this actually believes that Cleveland will be Boston once the playoffs come and once Porzingis and Drew Holiday and Derrick White and everyone is out there so that the. The Celtics can just take 50 threes a game and you can watch Peyton Pritchard become the most heroic, loved player in the history of Boston outside of Larry Bird.

[Chris Cody]

It's an advantage that a championship buys you to the notion that they've been to the height so they know exactly what they have to ratchet it up for. And we've seen them do it before, and it's not something that you could afford. The Cleveland Cavaliers having their core, not one anymore.

[Billy Corben]

It's funny, though, the way that we do that, because we haven't seen you do it, then we think you can't do it. We did that just to the Boston Celtics before they did it, and now they get to be the team. It's a silly way Josh Allen's going.

[Chris Cody]

To be dealing with until he actually does it.

[Billy Corben]

It's. Yeah, it's.

[Chris Cody]

He very well may be the second greatest quarterback ever, and we'll never know because he's always playing the greatest.

[Billy Corben]

But the Sixers were supposed to be that. When we talked before the season about what the Eastern Conference was going to be, it wasn't Cleveland. It was Boston, Philadelphia, Milwaukee. They're the ones that have the stars. That's what you win with. It's not. It's not Mobley, Jared Allen, Garland and Donovan Mitchell. No, you need stars. And Philadelphia was supp. Supposed to have them.

[Chris Cody]

No doubt it's been a disaster.

[Billy Corben]

No, but not just a disaster. The biggest disaster in the league. There's not a bigger disaster than that one. And it may cost Daryl Morey his job, even though I don't know if it'll cost him his reputation. But Daryl Morey solidified his reputation as the guy who gets people when he landed Paul George. And so I present all of this to you to ask the group five painkilling shots. Athlete cares enough to be 20 games under.500. Cares enough. Enough to take the five painkilling shots and then to have publicly released that he took the five painkilling shots. What does it buy him?

[Chris Cody]

He's definitely looking like he did that when he canceled his podcast, the Optics of. Look, I need to lock in and be serious about basketball right now. So this is a guy that has struggled in the postseason. He's let the moment get to him before. I think he's just trying to find some, some alleviation a little bit, some decompression on, on from the stress that he's under right now.

[Billy Corben]

We haven't done an F1 minute yet. I've erred in not doing an F1 minute yet. My apologies for not getting to this earlier. Jessica is the only one among us celebrating St. Patrick's Day. We've mentioned nothing about it. We have not mentioned anything about racing today either. Very excited. It's been how long, how long has it been? How many months has it been since we got the delirious speed of an F1 minute?

[Dan Le Batard]

I mean it's been several months. Chris, play the music. Because at the end of last season I didn't do one for every race. I was, you know, saving it for the exciting ones. And this past weekend Dan Formula one was back and it was exciting. And we are starting the season down under at the Australian Grand Prix to catch you up. Lewis Hamilton is at Ferrari now Carlos Sainz is at Williams. No one knows what a rookie driver is and Max Verstappen is still the defending champion. It's yucky. And melbourne. And here we go.

[Stugotz]

Oh no.

[Dan Le Batard]

Before lights out Isaac Hajar has crashed his racing balloon to the wall in the formation lap. Oh so sad. So embarrassing. After delay the race can finally begin. Lando Norris keeps his lead on the first lap and Max Verstappen is right behind him in second place. But oh no, another safety car. Jack 2 and Zalpine is under the wall just six turns into the race. Carlos signs is also out as well was Williams debut. Verstappen can't keep up with doors as blistering speed and Piastri is in hot pursuit. Charlotte Claircy is full of water. It must be from all the water but the slippery track is taking out everyone. Verstappen has the race lead but it's another safety car. A small American man with an unshaven beard has wandered onto the track in Australia. He's muttering under his breath about NFL free agency and the marshals can't get him to come home. Stugots come home. Lando Norris has won his first Australian Grand Prix and Burn Maylander is the driver of the day.

[Billy Corben]

Where is Stots? I saw him. I saw a picture at a college.

[Dan Le Batard]

Base wandering around on the track at the F1 race. Dan wait.

[Mike Ryan]

The driver of the day isn't the winner of the race?

[Dan Le Batard]

No, it's the safety car driver. It was a joke cuz he did a Lot of loops. Got it.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah. No, but it's okay.

[Dan Le Batard]

I wish I had that job.

[Mike Ryan]

So Baby Lando won?

[Dan Le Batard]

Baby Lando did in the McLaren. Looks really good. Although the race was slippery now. I'm getting more than a minute. The race was slippery. So we'll see what track conditions are like you know, next weekend. But they looked really fast. Keith drove really, really well. They made the right strategy calls. It was a good day.

[Stugotz]

He's the car to beat this year.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah.

[Stugotz]

That's crazy. Verstappen, I thought, was just going to have it, the sport. And now it's just Baby Lando. Jess told us first, like, what, four or five years ago about Baby Lando.

[Dan Le Batard]

I sure did. Verstappen's still in the mix, though. We'll see how you know. But the McLaren looks good for the first weekend. Ferrari, not so much.

[Mike Ryan]

Good for Mr. Baby.

[Billy Corben]

It is nice to have that speed and intensity of the segment at the end of the show here, because I don't know if you guys saw this. It felt. Felt like a snort, a jolt of F1 speed. Did you guys see the Michigan baseball player who pantomimed the snorting of the third base line? I'm. I'm assuming he's stolen third base there. Is it a triple? Is it? He got a triple? That is.

[Stugotz]

Do we know he's doing that?

[Billy Corben]

What do you mean, do we know if he's doing that? He's snorting the third base line. Like, what else?

[Stugotz]

Could be like a TikTok dance the kids are doing. We don't know. All right.

[Mike Ryan]

He's doing.

[Billy Corben]

Does seem like he's just snorting the third baseline. That's what he's going for there, is he not?

[Dan Le Batard]

Did he get in trouble. Are you allowed to do this? If this were Miami, he would have been suspended, Right?

[Chris Cody]

You know me and my persecution complex. I'd say absolutely.

[Billy Corben]

Did he get in trouble there? I don't think there's an excessive celebration thing in baseball. There wouldn't be any reason to get in trouble there.

[Chris Cody]

Also, he could say it's not what he's doing.

[Billy Corben]

Yeah.

[Dan Le Batard]

It's college sports. They'll find a reason to get you in trouble.

[Chris Cody]

He was screaming, get in the hole.

[Billy Corben]

The eye black also. That's after a triple, right? That's. That's what he's doing. He's sliding into third after a triple.

[Stugotz]

If that's a first to third, I'm going to be very disappointed if that's a Bach.

[Chris Cody]

It was actually. It was actually a Bach.

[Billy Corben]

It Can't. It can't be that it was a line drive.

[Dan Le Batard]

You know what I mean?

[Chris Cody]

Oh, there you go.

[Dan Le Batard]

Baseball humor.

[Chris Cody]

A Coke.

[Billy Corben]

Did you guys see what happened in the Pistons Oklahoma City game? Oklahoma City is going everywhere and beating everyone. And in the third quarter of the game against okc, they got five technical fouls. And Cade Cunningham was ejected from that game where the Pistons were trying to show that they belong with the league's top team.

[Dan Le Batard]

I saw that the Pistons coach, not. Not who Shaq thought it was, was. I can't even remember which coach he thought. Chauncey Billups. Thank you. Not Chauncey. Chauncey Billups was very upset and was saying that the refereeing was very unfair. And I was curious if there was anything to that because I didn't watch the game.

[Billy Corben]

Well, it wasn't unfair. That was interesting about the criticism that he was leaving. It was the level of disrespect he kept talking about that he's insisting on behalf of his team. He's like saying. He's saying that it's above and beyond disrespectful for the Detroit Pistons. This. You saw that The Pistons Twitter account sent out after Shaq said he. They didn't know their players. They kept show sending out tweets of Shaquille O'Neal being beaten by the Pistons in 2004, sitting on the bench next to Kobe, losing in five games. The Pistons are taking on the regional identity of a team that nobody is respecting correctly. It's one of the great sports cries that you get. And their coach Bickerstaff is saying, I'm not having here this level of disrespect where I'm going to stay silent and not protect my players while five technical fouls are being called and my star players being ejected at home. Come on. Come on. Like that. We're not doing that one. We're not ejecting stars from big games at home because everyone's there to see the officials give out technical fouls. And the Pistons were. Cade Cunningham was cursing a lot.

[Chris Cody]

I did see the Photoshop of Shane Gillis mashed up with Shaggy.

[Stugotz]

Saw that one, too.

[Chris Cody]

I saw that. But that seems very entertaining and interesting, though.

[Billy Corben]

Okay, you guys aren't interested at all. I can't get you interested in the Detroit Pistons, no matter the angle that I try to take to get in a fun and interesting basketball team.

[Dan Le Batard]

I. I mean, I was interested. I also am interested in, like, the effect these green St Patrick's Day goggles are giving me right now. This is what fish in the Chicago river must feel like on Saturday morning.

[Chris Cody]

Yeah, you know, that was at least. Is it just Formula one, cuz Josh, Barry and Wood Brothers won at The Penzo Oil 400.

[Dan Le Batard]

Get your own.

[Billy Corben]

Put your hat on. Put your hat on.

[Jessica]

Hey friends, it's Jerbear here and I'm here to tell you all about Boost Mobile, which is now a legit nationwide 5G network. So I must take a break from the jokes here for a second and.

[Unknown]

Put on my serious voice. Because I would never ever joke about a 5G network that has invested billions building 5G towers across the country. Not even once. Not even if Mr. Boost Mobile himself asked me to. There is nothing funny about it. Boost Mobile is now a legit nationwide 5G network and also provides coverage across 99% of America. Seriously? Visit boostmobile.com or your nearest Boost Mobile store location to learn more. The Boost Mobile network, together with our roaming partners, covers 99% of the US population. 5G speeds not available in all areas.